Glee s03e16 Episode Script

3ARC16 - Saturday Night Glee-ver

So here's what you missed on Glee: Sue's helping the glee club win nationals, so Figgins won't give the Cheerios! to Roz Washington, who has bronze medals in synchronized swimming and trying to take other people's jobs.
You are done! Sam and Mercedes were sort of dating, but she called it off in song, and it totally bummed him out.
Rachel and Finn were supposed to get married, but they got in a huge fight 'cause Rachel wants to go to New York, and Finn might want to go to L.
A.
And he thinks she only thinks about herself, which is sort of true.
And she thinks that he's sort of lost, which is definitely true.
In fact, a lot of the New Directions have no idea what they're doing, and graduation is right around the corner.
They should change their name to the No Directions.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
(♫ Bee Gees: "You Should Be Dancing" ♫) My baby moves at midnight Goes right on till the dawn.
My woman takes me higher.
My woman keeps me warm What you doin' on your back? Ah! What you doin' on your back? Ah! You should be dancing, yeah! Dancing, yeah! She's juicy and she's trouble She gets it to me good My woman gives me power Goes right down to my blood What you doin' on your back? Ah! What you doin' on your back? Ah! You should be dancing, yeah! Dancing, yeah! What you doin' on your back? Ah! What you doin' on your back? Ha-ha-ha-ha Dancing, yeah! Dancing, yeah! You should be dancing, yeah! You should be dancing, yeah! Ha! You should be dancing, yeah! Ha! You should be dancing, yeah! Hoo, yeah You should be dancing, yeah! Wow, guys, what brought this on? Well, we know this year's nationals theme was "Vintage," so we thought we needed something old, but something with a lot of energy.
So we thought: disco.
Absolutely.
I don't know if I ever told you guys this, but back when I was in Glee Club, we took it all the way to nationals with the pure power of unadulterated disco.
Let's dance! (♫ KC & The Sunshine Band: "That's the Way (I Like It)" ♫) Oh, that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Um, well, there's only one problem with that idea.
And what's that? Disco sucks! I'm so distracted I can't even stage musical numbers on my scale model Glee Club diorama.
Here we are weeks away from graduation, and I've got three seniors in trouble.
If Noah's Ark Pool Cleaning Service can do 20 pools a week at 50 bucks a pop, I'm making Do you even know how to use a calculator? First, there's Finn.
He's got all this talent, but no self-esteem.
Which is why Finn should come to L.
A.
with me.
And then there's Mercedes.
She's just as talented as Rachel and Kurt, but she doesn't have the vision.
If I do not find an outfit that portrays the paranoid near-eastern mise-en-scéne, I'm screwed.
And I'm really worried about Santana.
She's got all the ambition, but she doesn't have the focus.
Blaine's handsome brother said it best: college is a waste of time.
I just want to be famous, plain and simple.
Don't even care how it happens.
I just want everyone to know my name.
Cool.
Honestly, I don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm out of ideas.
Oh, let's be honest, William.
You've been out of ideas since Madonna week.
Why don't you just embrace that lazy, horribly treacly style of teaching and assign them a famous album? I did that last year.
Yes, I remember, William.
And your Rumours week was a resounding success in that it seemed to solve everyone's problems for about five minutes.
Now I'm not talking about just any album, William.
How about the soundtrack that defined a generation? Wait for it.
Saturday Night Fever.
I love that album.
You bet your ass you love that album.
But there's just one problem-- they hate disco.
But they love swag.
Jean jackets! Some mattresses! Dinner for two at Breadstix.
Breadstix! Let's give 'em something to fight over.
Hmm.
I'm thrilled you got into Defiance College and Cleveland State, but what about NYU? Kurt Hummel? Mercedes Jones? I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm your biggest fan.
I've been to every last one of your performances, except West Side Story.
I boycotted that one because you two weren't Tony and Maria.
Why, hello, kind sir.
I don't believe I caught your name.
Wade Adams.
I go to Carmel High.
And I'm in Vocal Adrenaline, and I know we're supposed to be archenemies, but I swear, I'm not here to spy.
I want to ask your advice about something.
Our coach is Jessie St.
James.
The star of Vocal Adrenaline is Vocal Adrenaline.
No one is special.
You're The Borg.
You don't like it, there's the fricking door.
Am I clear, Chunks McGriddle? Yes, sir.
I can't hear you! Yes, sir.
God, he's awful.
He's nothing compared to the kids at school or my parents.
Do you know how I get through it? Ever since I was a kid, I would play this game where I'd pretend I was a different person, the person that I dreamed of being the real me.
I even have a different name: "Unique.
" I got so nervous, I almost didn't speak to you guys today.
But then I thought, how would Unique do it? What about NYU? Wait, wait.
Hold the thought.
Someone with exquisite taste is wearing Joy.
By Jean Patou.
Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones, Unique worships the red carpet you walk on.
If you two had a love child, it would be Unique.
And Unique's grandparents would be Andre Leon Talley and Beyoncé, because only the best will do for Unique.
Yes, fools, it's real chinchilla! Unless you're planning on splattering it with paint.
Then it's fake.
Unique sounds like a really great person.
I hope that, one day, you can build up enough courage to be him.
Actually, Unique's a "her.
" That's why I want your advice.
Our regionals are this Saturday, and I want to go on stage wearing a dress and heels.
Because that's who I feel like I am inside.
Unique.
Yes.
What would you do? Did someone steal our floor? Don't worry, we'll have it back by the end of the week.
In the meantime, Sue has lent us her my very own personal, one-of-a-kind, lit-from- within, shatterproof, Plexiglas dance floor.
Modeled, of course, on the dance floor immortalized by a young, musky John Travolta at the height of his potency in the legendary dansical Saturday Night Fever.
Coach Sylvester, while we applaud your proper use of the terminology, we told Mr.
Shue we do not support disco in this room.
Ah, but some of you do.
So for this week's assignment, we are going back in time to the songs of "Saturday Night Fever.
" Come on, Mr.
Shue.
That's, like, a record our parents listen to.
That album, teen Solomon Grundy, is one of the best-selling soundtracks of all time.
Tony Manero's story is your story.
He's a guy who works at a paint store, struggling to figure out his life.
And the only time he feels sure about himself is when he's performing on the dance floor.
He has a dream.
To get out of his old neighborhood in Brooklyn and get to New York City.
And by the end of the movie, that's what he's done.
He's turned his dream into a plan.
So why the dance floor? Well, Porcelain, because we're going to start with a dance-off.
And the winner will receive a replica of John Travolta's iconic white polyester suit, which I am having a cadre of expert Viennese tailors painstakingly reproduce.
(♫ "Calypso Breakdown" ♫) Oh, my God, I need that suit! Oh, I bet that's worth a lot of money.
I would totally put that suit on eBay.
So you just want us to start dancing like Soul Train-style? Uh, no, actually, Sue and I will start us off.
We actually met with Joe and Blaine beforehand.
Just get up when you're ready.
And everyone has to participate.
Everyone, Puck.
All right, hit it.
(♫ Bee Gees: "Night Fever" ♫) Listen to the ground, there is movement all around There is something goin' down And I can feel it On the waves of the air, there is dancin' out there If it's somethin' we can share We can steal it And that sweet city woman She moves through the light Controlling my mind and my soul When you reach out for me Yeah, and the feelin' is bright The night fever, night fever We know how to do it Ooh, oh Gimme that night fever, night fever We know how to show it In the heat of our love Don't need no help for us to make it Give me just enough to take us to the morning Whoo! I got fire in my mind I get higher in my walkin' And I'm glowin' in the dark, I give you warnin' And that sweet city woman, she moves through the light Controlling my mind and my soul When you reach out for me Yeah, and the feelin' is bright Give me night fever, night fever We know how to do it Feels like forever, baby, don't you know? The night fever, night fever We know how to show it Hoo! Here I am Prayin' for this moment to last Livin' on the music so fine Borne on the wind Makin' it mine The night fever, night fever.
Okay, officially, officially, you guys are amazing.
Mm-hmm.
I was just conferring with my co-judge, and our three finalists for the suit are Santana Lopez Mercedes Jones and Finn Hudson.
What? Give it up.
Come on.
Yeah.
+ Congrats, guys.
You three are the finalists of the Saturday Night Fever Dance Competition.
Whoo! High stakes here.
Which one of you will walk away with Sue's coveted white suit? Sounds kind of cool to me.
Oh, great.
It's yours.
Can we go now? Okay, look.
This isn't really about a suit.
It's about living out your dreams.
Of all the seniors in New Directions, you three have yet to decide what it is you want to do with your lives.
So your assignment for the week: perform a song from Saturday Night Fever, and then share your hopes for the future.
No, wait.
The dance thing is fixed? So what is this, some teacher's manipulative game to get us tell you what we want to be when we grow up? Hey, if you want to look at it that way, fine.
But this is your game, your life.
And guess what, time's running out.
Where does Mr.
Shue get off telling me how to have a dream? Just because I don't want to rush off to New York like Berry and star in a revival of Sister Act doesn't mean I don't know what I want to do with my life.
And I'm sorry, having a dream isn't the problem.
I have the dream; I just don't know how to get there.
So, make no mistake-- Mercedes Jones has desire and ambition so hot, it's a mother-freakin' volcano.
(♫ Tina Turner: "Disco Inferno" ♫) Burn, baby, burn Burn, baby, burn Burnin' To my surprise One hundred stories high People getting loose now Getting down on the roof They're turnin' Folks screaming Out of control It was so entertaining When the boogie starts to explode I heard somebody say Burn, baby, burn Disco Inferno Burn, baby, burn Burthat mother down Burn, baby, burn Disco Inferno Burn, baby, burn Burn that mother down Up above my head I hear music I hear music in the air I hear music That makes me know There's a party somewhere Ow! Satisfaction Do, do, do Came in a chain reaction Burnin' I couldn't get enough So I I had to self-destruct Yeah Do, do, do The heat was on Rising to the top And everybody's going strong That is when my spark got hot I heard somebody say Burn, baby, burn Disco Inferno Burn, baby, burn Burn that mother down Burn, baby, burn Disco Inferno Burn, baby, burn Burn that mother down Burn, baby, burn Ow! Burn, baby, burn Burn that mother down Burn, baby, burn Disco Inferno Burn, baby, burn Burn that mother down.
All right, I have an announcement to make.
Contrary to current opinion, I do have a dream.
See, my dream is Mariah.
It's Whitney-- rest in peace.
It's Aretha.
Those are people.
They aren't dreams.
My dream is to be like them.
To sing big, fat, juicy, number-one hits that inspire people.
But how's that supposed to happen, even if I move to L.
A.
? I don't know what to do or where to go.
It's scary to even think about moving all the way across the country.
Well, I mean, I'm moving to New York, Mercedes.
You'll have somewhere to stay.
You'll You'll have something to do.
You have two parents that support you.
And my dad is a dentist.
He thinks my dream is unreasonable and insane.
You know what, he's right.
I don't know the first thing about getting a recording contract or a manager.
The cream always rises to the top, Mercedes.
Yeah, I'm cream in here, Mr.
Shue.
But what if, out there, I'm just skim milk? You should talk to him.
Help him.
He called me spoiled and self-centered, okay.
He can come to me and talk to me first.
That's a great way to start a marriage.
So what's up, dude? We doing this L.
A.
thing or what? 'Cause I had to go apartment-shopping.
And if I get a one-bedroom, you're screwed.
Two dudes in one bed is like confirmed gay.
I can't.
Look, that's your dream, not mine.
Uh Dude, I can't go without you.
You're my best friend.
You can do anything without me, man, okay? You never needed me before.
Yeah, but if you're there with me, then that big city won't seem so scary.
Scary? Scary? Nothing scares you, man.
Your five-mile ride on top of Mrs.
Witt's Chrysler is still a car-surfing record, okay.
Seriously, just you'll have that place wired in no time.
So if you're not going with me, what are you going to do? I still really don't know.
Well, do me one favor, would you? When you do find your dream, make it as big as you are.
I don't know much, but I know this.
You owe it to yourself.
And now you owe it to me.
+ Porcelain, Wheezy, have a seat.
Traitors.
What are you talking about? As you may as well know, I have a large portion of this school bugged and wiretapped.
I am already pushing the very limits of physics by joining forces with Will Schuester.
And you repay my help by giving tips to the enemy? Oh, no, that's not what happened at all.
Wade was asking us for advice, because he wants to wear a dress and perform at Regionals as his alter ego Unique, an-and we didn't think it was a very good idea.
It's not a good idea.
It's a great idea.
But Coach Sylvester, this is Ohio.
I don't think many people are gonna be down with that.
Exactly.
He'll tank them at Regionals.
And then New Directions will coast to a win at Nationals.
I happen to have a pair of 13 wides right here.
Where did you get those? They were autographed by my good friend Janet Reno.
And she wore them on the day they caught the Unabomber.
Deliver these unto Unique.
Get him to cram his hamhocks into these platoons at Regionals, and we'll be well on our way to a National Championship.
(♫ Yvonne Elliman: "If I Can't Have You" ♫) Don't know why I'm surviving every lonely day When there's got to be No chance for me My life would end And it doesn't matter how I try I gave it all So easily To you, my love To dreams that never will come true Am I strong enough to see it through? Go crazy is what I will do If I can't have you I don't want nobody, baby If I can't have you Ah, huh Oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody, baby If I can't have you Ah, ah, ah Oh If I can't have you Huh huh ah-ah Oh If I can't have you I don't want nobody, baby If I can't have you Oh, oh, no Don't want nobody If I can't have you I don't want nobody, baby If I can't have you Ah-ah-huh No If I can't have you.
Incredible.
And I could see exactly where you were going with it.
This was more than just a beautiful love song to Brittany.
It's also a powerful way to convey your dream that marriage equality will someday be a reality for everyone, and you're off to law school to make it happen! Amazing.
Of course I want marriage equality.
And yeah, Brittany will always be my girlfriend.
Score! But my mistress is fame.
And that song was all about how I can't live withouts my fame.
Then I'll have to say I'm disappointed in you.
Fame is not something to aspire to.
How about you save the lecture for the theatre nerds that are gonna starve in New York while desperately trying to tap-dance their way into the chorus of Godspell? No offence, Gayberry.
And everyone can stop their hating, because you all want to be famous, too.
The only difference is that I'm a thousand percent sure that I'm actually going to be famous, just like I'm a thousand percent sure that our Man/Child piano player keeps a petite Eurasian locked in a trunk underneath his bed.
Sorry, James.
Write this down-- 'cause there will be a quiz-- I'm gonna be famous.
If it's the last thing I do.
I got your tweet.
"Anyone who's engaged to me should come to the auditorium.
" You could've just texted.
Yeah, but I wasn't sure if we were speaking.
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
Now I feel like I'm finally reentering my body.
I really don't like not talking to you.
I mean, nothing feels real unless you're there to tell it to.
I never realized how much time we spent talking.
I've been thinking, and if you don't want to go to New York, then we don't have to.
Wh Wh That's crazy.
I don't want to stand in the way of your dreams.
Look, the only reason why we've been focusing on my dreams is because we haven't taken the time to look into yours.
What if your dreams are bigger than mine? I don't think that's going to be a problem.
I mean, I did one of those quizzes online that was supposed to tell you what job you'd be good at, and my results were "competitive eating champion.
" Okay, sit down.
My whole life, I felt like I was in the wrong place.
Like I was just some alien, an-and no one understood me.
But all I had to do was just go to New York.
Go home to Broadway, and then everything would be fine.
But I was wrong.
My home isn't some place, it's someone.
It's you.
Of course, I want us to go to New York, and maybe we will.
But not until we give your dreams an equal shot.
You love me that much? Are you just figuring that out now? So, can I please sing to you about it? I mean, it's from the movie, and it's really good.
Do I have a choice? Well, you know, I kind of planned No choice.
the whole singing thing first, just in case you took a little convincing.
I mean, I'd hate for it to go to waste.
(♫ "How Deep is Your Love" ♫) Ah Ooh-ooh I know your eyes in the morning sun I feel you touch me in the pouring rain And the moment that you wander far from me I want to feel you in my arms again And you come to me On a summer breeze Keep me warm in your love Then you softly leave And it's me you need to show How deep is your love How deep is your love How deep is your love Oh I really need to learn 'Cause we're living in a world of fools Breaking us down When they all should let us be We belong to you and me Na na na na na Yeah How deep is your love How deep is your love Oh I really need to learn 'Cause we're living in a world of fools Breaking us down When they all should let us be We belong to You And me.
This pile, uh, is places in Ohio that you actually have a shot at an athletic scholarship, so you hang onto those.
And then these are the ones with the, uh, cool glossy papers that you got excited about.
Mm-hmm! It's a lot to go through.
Yeah.
I mean, what do you think, Finn? Think your dream is hidden in there somewhere? I don't know.
This is a lot of choices.
Well, there's no rush.
I mean, there's a little, you know, rush, because the applications are due soon, and, well, I mean, there's the whole we need to figure out where we're gonna begin our lives thing, but there's no rush.
Okay.
Well, I guess I just need to take some time with these by myself, and see if I can, you know, shake a dream out of here somehow.
- It's in there.
Okay.
Hey, uh Thanks.
All of you.
Hey, Finn We believe in you.
Thanks.
Santana, watching "Two Girls One Cat" was like staring into the face of God.
Thank you.
New favorite movie.
Why is everyone staring at me like I'm Finn and I just won a butter-eating competition? It's because you're famous.
Everybody's loving the sex tape of us I posted on the Internet.
What?! Brittany, that sex tape was private.
We made that for us.
No, I know, but I spliced it together with a video of Lord Tubbington performing everyday household chores.
Why would you do that? 'Cause you said you wanted to be famous.
So I looked up all the famous people that I knew, and they all have sex tapes.
So I put ours out there.
I'm really excited about it! + Come with me.
What, are you going through the garbage now? Oh, come on.
I know you were just humoring us in there.
I could see it in your face.
So I followed you out.
What was I supposed to say, man? S-Sorry, I'd rather puke than spend a minute in any of those places? Right in front of Rachel, with a big smile on her face, all proud of herself? She just wants what's best for you.
Yeah, she does.
Until she realizes her fiancé is a total loser.
Is that what you're scared of? It's the truth.
Doesn't anybody understand that maybe the reason I don't know what to do with my life is because I'm not qualified to do anything.
You just don't know what you want yet.
What I want is for time to stop.
Okay? I want it to feel like I'm on the football field and the crowd's going nuts! Or I-I want it to feel like I'm on the stage during a performance, and everybody's on their feet.
So let's find something out there that gives you that feeling.
Of being young? Where is it? Show me.
I want you to watch this for me.
Look, Mr.
Shue, I don't really feel like doing my Glee homework right now, I just I think you know what you want for your life.
I think you're just scared to say it out loud.
I want you to see what it looks like when someone follows their dream, even though everyone else tells them it's impossible.
You can do anything you want to, Finn.
It's not the broken dreams that break us.
It's the ones we didn't dare to dream.
(♫ Bee Gees: "Stayin' Alive" ♫) Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk You make a cat emptying the dishwasher look sexy.
I love you, Santana Lopez.
Awesome, right? Don't thank me for your new fame.
You know, it didn't really cross my mind to thank you.
Yeah, well, you say the dream, and I help build your dream.
And that's what a partnership is about, right? Listen, Britt, I totally understand how you could think that you were helping me, but you gotta take the video down.
No way! Now that we just got your boob in the door, we can't rest.
I came up with an idea that will make you, like, Snooki famous, but without all the blackout drinking.
We need to book you on a reality TV gig ASAP.
So I've narrowed it down to a few possibilities.
Number one: I see how you keep your car, so you could totally be on Hoarders.
You just need to start storing your poops in the trunk, and I'm sure they'll book you.
No.
Brittany, I can't do that.
Well, you have to, if you want to be on the show.
Or this is my favorite one.
You can eat that.
It's a bull testicle.
I drove all the way to Spencerville to get it.
You know, it came with a pair, but I got hungry on the way home, so It tastes just like a chicken testicle.
I don't get it.
It's for Fear Factor.
If you want to be famous, you have to eat crazy stuff.
Just let me know how far you're willing to go for fame.
It's up to you.
I feel horrible.
We should never have given Wade those high heels.
Look, there's still time to stop it.
I mean, he wouldn't actually go out like that.
Would he? Well, Finn dressed up like Lady Gaga, and I never thought that would happen.
Oh, thank God.
Hey, Wade! We just came by to tell you to break a leg.
And to make sure you're still dressed as a guy.
Not for long.
Look, Wade, I know we sent you those shoes as a good-luck gesture, but w-we talked it over, and you can't do this.
I admit that I've worn some flamboyant designer outfits, but I've never dressed up like a woman.
That's because you identify yourself as a man.
I thought you, of all people, would understand.
I'm wearing them.
Wow.
Look who Schuester sent to spy on me.
The laziest person alive and the pasty-faced ghost boy.
Come on.
We're not spies.
We're friends of Wade's.
Really? All the more reason to fire him after the show.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage from Carmel High in Akron, Ohio, Vocal Adrenaline! (♫ K.
C.
& the Sunshine Band: "Boogie Shoes" ♫) Hey yeah Ooh yeah Yeah Ooh yeah Listen Girl, to be with you Is my favorite thing Yeah Uh-huh, yeah I can't wait till I see you again Yeah yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh I want to put on My my my my boogie shoes Just to boogie with you Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Excuse me! I want to put on Out of my way, please.
Move, move.
Just to boogie with you Wade! Get off the stage, now! I want to do it Wade Till the sun comes up I want to do it till the sun comes up Off the stage now! Hey, hey! Yeah I want to do it Till I can't get enough I want to do it till I can't get enough Yeah, uh-huh I want to put on I want to put on My my my my boogie shoes My boogie shoes With you, with you, with you, yeah I want to put on I want to put on My boogie shoes Hey hey hey yeah Ooh I'm ready right My my my my boogie shoes Hey, yeah My boogie boogie shoes Hey Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah My my my my my boogie shoes I want to put on My my my my boogie shoes Yeah And boogie with you Ah, yeah I want to put on Put on, yeah My my my my boogie shoes Put on To go boogie with you I want to put on I want to put on My my my my my boogie shoes My boogie shoes Just to boogie with you Ah, yeah I want to put on Hey yeah My my my my boogie shoes Just to boogie with you Hey Yeah! + Hey.
You said you wanted to see me? Yeah.
Uh I think I finally figured out what song from Saturday Night Fever I want to do.
But, uh, it doesn't work without a dance partner.
Well, actually, it doesn't work without you just like everything else in my life.
(♫ Bee Gees: "More Than a Woman" ♫) Oh, girl, I've known you very well I've seen you growing every day I never really looked before But now you take my breath away Suddenly you're in my life Part of everything I do You've got me working day and night Just trying to keep a hold on you Here in your arms I found my paradise My only chance for happiness Oh-oh, oh And if I lose you now, I think I would die Oh, say you'll always be my baby, we can make it shine We can take forever Just a minute at a time Oh-oh-oh More than a woman Hoo, now baby More than a woman to me More than a woman Hoo, hoo, my baby More than a woman to me Yeah, yeah, yeah! More than a woman Ooh-hoo, ooh-ooh-ooh More than a woman to me Oh, so much more More than a woman Hoo, baby More than a woman to me More than a woman to me More than a woman Hey-ey-ey-ey More than a woman to me Whoo, yeah-yeah More than a woman Oh, baby More than a woman to me Yeah, yeah More than a woman.
That was incredible! That was amazing! You're definitely gonna win the prize.
I already did.
But look, there's more.
I figured out what I'm gonna do next year.
Can we sit down? Ay, why am I nervous? Don't be nervous.
Mr.
Shue made me watch Saturday Night Fever.
It was really good, and I realized I'm a lot like Tony Manero.
Except for the whole being-able-to-dance thing.
When I saw that movie, I realized the way that Tony took on the world I want to do that, too.
I want to move to New York.
Like Tony.
Like you.
I want to live in New York City with you.
Really? Yeah.
Are you serious?! Yeah.
I knew it.
I'm gonna make you really happy, I promise.
Just there's more.
Just wait.
Uh, what was that acting show, on Bravo, with the swear words and the cool dude you made me watch? James Lipton.
Yeah.
I applied to his school.
I want to go to Inside the Actors' Studio.
It's It's just "The Actors' Studio," but that's great.
It's a perfect, perfect fit for you.
You just, you know, you can't do this for me, all right? It has to be for you.
It's too much pressure for me to handle.
It is for you, but it's also what I want.
It's my dream.
I want to be an actor.
I guess I was always afraid to admit it because I was scared of failing, but I'm not scared anymore 'cause of you.
I want to be a great man for you, Rachel.
And I want to see myself the way you see me; like I'm capable of anything.
Dreaming big.
I love you so much and you deserve that.
You're my hero; you know that, right? You're mine.
I cannot believe Unique pulled that off.
There's something to be said about the power of a dream.
Mm-hmm.
He took a risk and it paid off.
But I guess that's just having a dream.
Hey, Mercedes.
I know we haven't talked much, but I have something that I need to show you.
No more songs, Sam.
One more.
Don't worry.
This time I'm not the one singing.
Burn, baby, burn That's me.
Yeah.
Wait-- did you post this to YouTube without asking? Can you hear yourself? You're amazing, and you look stunning.
Mm, I can't look.
No.
Look.
One of them was disappointed because they thought "Mercedes Inferno" was a car-fail video.
I can't believe you did this for me.
Why? Because I believe in you and what you could become.
Now complete strangers believe in you, too.
You just need to find a way out to L.
A.
and do your thing.
It's time for this dream to stop being a dream and become a reality.
Listen to them.
They all want to buy your album, and so do I.
You ain't no skim milk, baby.
You're the cream rising to the top.
+ Boobs Magoo, words simply cannot describe how disappointed I am in you.
And look at poor Brittany.
Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
I can show you the MRI.
And it's not just the sex tape.
My goodness, sex tapes are a dime a dozen these days.
I myself made a sex tape with Oliver North.
Wasn't very popular, probably because we released it on Betamax.
I think Cheney still has a copy.
What's so disappointing is not that you want to be famous, it's that you don't care how you get there.
I see that now.
I'm embarrassed I've been so shortsighted.
I want to make something of my life.
I want to do something of substance with it.
And yes, I do want to go to college.
One step ahead of you, Lady Ta-Ta.
What is this? That is an acceptance letter.
You got a full ride from the University of Louisville.
It's in Louisville.
It's the nation's top cheerleading program and you got a full scholarship.
Now, I know you don't want to be a cheerleader for the rest of your life.
But this will get you a foot in the door.
Maybe you can get a business degree; open up a taco truck.
I'm still somewhat confused about your ethnicity.
I don't know what to say.
Thank you.
Well, don't thank me.
Brittany thought of it.
She gets an idea once every couple of years, and lucky for us this was a good one.
Thank you.
I don't know if this is 100% the answer for me, but just to know that I have somebody who believes in me as much as you do.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
Come on, who won, Mr.
Shue? Who gets the suit? Well, I left that up to Sue.
And if there's one thing I enjoy more than punishing you lazy idiots it's rewarding you for being slightly less lazy and idiotic.
Will the winners please enter? Even in polyester, I feel like a million bucks in this.
So what now? What do you want to do? You know what I want to do? What? I said, do you know what I want to do?! What? Strut.
(♫ Bee Gees: "Stayin' Alive" ♫) Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk Music loud and women warm I've been kicked around since I was born And now it's all right, that's okay And you may look the other way But we can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin' And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive Oh, when you walk Well, now I get low and I get high And if I can't get either, I really try Got the wings of heaven on my shoes I'm a dancing man and I just can't lose You know it's all right, it's okay I'll live to see another day We can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin' And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive Ah ow! Life going nowhere Somebody help me Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba Somebody help me, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah Life going nowhere Somebody help me, yeah I'm stayin' alive