Glitch Techs (2020) s02e03 Episode Script

Ralphie Bear Is Back

[dog barking]
[Miko humming]
[TV announcer] If you love video games,
you'll also love Joystick Junior,
Bailley's oldest video game pizza-cade,
now celebrating 15 years of fun,
prizes and birthday surprises!
And all next week, celebrate your birthday
with Ralphie Bear
[Ralphie laughing]
now back on our showroom
after ten years!
Joystick Junior's
Where birthday wishes come true! ♪
It's true!
Oh, no!
He's back.
-I know!
After all these years,
Ralphie Bear is finally back!
Uh "Ralphie Bear"?
Who in the what is that? And who cares?
Let's go sell some stuff, shall we?
Pause it right there, dude.
You've never heard of Ralphie Bear?
When Bailley's own Joystick Junior
first opened its pizza-arcade doors,
owner Jimmy Alcorn invented
the world's first totally immersive,
all-robot birthday themed stage play.
Honestly, Five,
I don't really need you to--
Okay, wow, this is happening.
Merging Hinobi's cutting-edge robotics
with the latest in rubber mask
and googly eyeball technologies,
the show's star Ralphie Bear
soon became a birthday icon
with an animatronic show
that all kids loved.
Uh-huh. What show?
Kids would be given
a birthday cake, then, bam!
Cakey Von Smasher
would show up and try to smash it.
But then, kids would sing for their hero.
Cakey Von Smasher, better beware
Here comes our pal Ralphie Bear! ♪
And boom!
Ralphie would pop up
and fight Cakey Von Smasher
in an epic robot battle
to save your birthday!
[voice trembling] "Until"?
Until ten years ago,
when a group of innocent kids arrived
to find their birthday party cancelled
and the doors of the robot theater closed,
never to be opened again
except when they reopened the next day.
But by then, it was too late.
Ralphie was gone.
I mean, great heavens!
Why would they do such a thing?
Nobody knows!
But the kids in town share a theory,
based on this security photo.
It suggests that the reason
was in fact the work
of a mysterious individual
known only as
the Birthday Ruiner.
"The Birthday" what?
The Birthday Ruiner.
Some say it was a kid, but I believe
it was a monster in kid form.
A demon whose sole purpose
was to destroy Ralphie
and ruin Joystick Junior
birthday parties forever.
Well, that's one take.
But kids still have parties
at Joystick Junior all the time, right?
-Ignorant kids!
Not knowing just how much more awesome
their birthday parties could have been.
Before the ruining.
"The ruining"?
I swear, if I ever found out
the true identity of the Birthday Ruiner,
I'd be all like,
"This one's for Ralphie, you monster!"
Okay, Five, maybe we could just change
the channel off Joystick Junior for a bit?
-[automated voice] Incoming call from
-[Phil on recording] Your boss.
Hey, Phil. Got a mission for us?
Actually, I do.
Just got off the phone with my buddy
Jimmy over at Joystick Junior.
-Oh! Oh!
-Hoo, boy.
My boss is actually buddies
with Jimmy Alcorn?
Yeah, I make friends wherever I go.
Seems Jimmy's prepping his arcade
for some big event,
and since video arcades are
notorious hot spots for Glitch activity,
I need two techs to give the place
a good checkup before it opens.
Actually, I've been feeling
a bit Joystick Juniored out.
-Are there any other missions we can--
-Wait, did you just say "before it opens"?
We get an entire arcade to ourselves?
To work.
I don't pay you to goof around.
Think of it, Miko.
We'll be the first kids in town
to get selfies with Ralphie,
Cakey Von Smasher and--
Bup-bup! You're there
to glitch-proof video games, understand?
Jimmy instructed us
to leave his robots alone.
You hear me, Five?
Loud and clear, sir.
And trust me, there is no way,
no how, no chance
that I am not gonna take a peek
at these robots! [chuckles]
Hoo, boy.
[theme song playing]
[man] Who knows what really happens
when a video game starts to glitch?
Here come the Glitch Techs
They know what to do ♪
They got the tech
They got the moves ♪
Glitch Techs
They're the wrecking crew ♪
They'll solve the problem ♪
Glitch Techs
When a Glitch is loose ♪
They'll wipe them out
Old school or new ♪
Glitch Techs
Always coming through ♪
To solve the problem ♪
Glitch Techs
Whoa! ♪
Glitch Techs! ♪
Yeah! ♪
[Phil typing]
Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
[line ringing]
-[Jimmy] Go for Jimmy.
-Hey, Jimmy, buddy, how ya doin'?
Fine. Uh, everything okay at my arcade?
Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah.
[chuckles] Sure. Don't worry.
-I got my best team on it.
-[Jimmy] Oh, yeah. Good, good, good.
The thing is, Jim,
I was wondering if you still redeem
old prize tickets over there?
I mean, if they expire,
I understand, but--
Oh, yeah, sure. We do. No problem.
Oh, that's great.
[chuckles] I mean, that's really great.
Um [clears throat]
Hey, you know what?
I think I'll stop by your arcade
to check on my team for you, personally.
Okay, but before you do--
-[tickets rustling]
Uh, Five, you're supposed to be
the responsible one, remember?
Now, stop throwing off our dynamic
and scan for glitches with me.
Just one little
Huh? [gasps]
[Five] peek!
This place is amazing!
This is where it all happened, Miko.
The place where birthday wishes
could come true
for some kids.
Okay, you peeked. Let's get scannin'!
Miko, listen. I am a professional,
and we are totally gonna glitch-proof
every single arcade game in this place,
but first, I am turning on
this robot show, my friend.
Okay, pull up a chair, you are
officially invited to my birthday party.
Master of all chiefs, Five!
Why is seeing this dumb kiddie show
so important?
Because I've never seen it, okay?
You've never seen it?
But you know everything about it.
That's because I used to dream
of having my birthday here.
I begged my dad
to have a party here just once.
We didn't have much money,
so I saved up all summer to help.
I started an horchata stand, mowed lawns
and started working at Papi's food truck,
and, finally, we scraped up enough money
to make a reservation.
I'd never been more excited
for anything in my life.
But when the big day arrived,
Ralphie was gone.
So your birthday was--
Ruined by the Birthday Ruiner.
We ended up at a robotless pizza
restaurant with one measly arcade game
and it ate my only quarter.
Mmm, uh
My powers of responsibility
are no match for that tragic origin story.
Let's do this stupid thing.
Yes! Thanks, partner.
Did you already have
Of course you did.
[automated voice]
Hinobi Entertainment Systems.
Please enter the child's name.
[automated voice] Welcome, Hector.
Dude, your name is Hector?
You thought my parents named me High Five?
Your show will begin in five,
four, three
[electricity surges]
[Ralphie] Uh-oh! Someone has a birthday
today, and that someone is Hector!
I can't believe I'm finally about to have
a Ralphie Bear party!
[Ralphie] Happy birthday to you ♪
May your wishes come true ♪
Here's a birthday cake for ♪
[in deep voice] Hector ♪
[Cakey] Did someone say "birthday cake"?
[Five and Ralphie] Oh, no!
It's Cakey Von Smasher!
-[Five laughs]
-[Miko] Ugh.
I'm gonna smash that cake!
[Five laughing] She's looking right at me!
And hates your cake, apparently.
[Ralphie] Okay!
Hector, you know what to do.
-Say it with me, Miko!
Cakey Von Smasher, better beware
Here comes our pal Ralphie Bear! ♪
-[Ralphie] Aw, nope, ya don't.
[Five] Huh?
I'm gonna smash that cake!
-[Ralphie stammering]
Something's wrong.
I didn't do it. I swear!
Looks like there's a safety latch.
-[Ralphie] Aw, no
-[door thudding]
Aw, no
No, no, no, no, no!
[stammers] I'll shut off the panel.
You get the hatch open.
-[Ralphie] Aw, nope, ya don't!
-[Miko] Aah!
[both exclaim]
Why did you do that?
[glitching] I'm going to smash your cake!
[glitch hissing]
I'm gonna smash your
[in deep voice] Hector.
Now that one's broken, too!
[gauntlet voice]
Glitch signature detected.
[whimpers] Not just broken.
I'm gonna smash your
[in deep voice] Hector.
I'm gonna smash your Hector!
[exclaims] Why won't the emitters work?
I'm gonna smash your Hector!
[both exclaiming]
-I'm gonna smash your Hector!
-[both grunting]
Wait. What if we try
and fix her really quick?
-Oh, nerds!
[panting and grunting]
Five, the party is definitely over.
-[loud bang]
-[both] Aah!
[Five] What have we done?
Forget about what we did,
and worry about what we're going to do!
Uh, let's see. Buffs, timed effects
-[door thudding]
-We gotta scoot!
Great. We've gone from creepy and kooky
to mysterious and spooky.
You kicked Ralphie Bear's head off.
Ugh! Can we please skip this cutscene?
He's headless now, Miko!
He has no head, and you are his beheader!
Yeah, well, that's what sick,
twisted robots like him get
for straight jump-scaring people!
-I'm gonna smash your Hector!
-[Miko] Aha! See? See?
I'm gonna smash your Hector!
One time.
I break the rules one time,
and now other birthdays
are going to be ruined just like mine was.
[glitching] smash your Hector!
Oh, no.
Now, we're the Birthday Ruiners!
I'm gonna smash your Hector!
-Okay, okay, I got it!
-I'm gonna smash your Hector!
-[Miko] Hurry up!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
-I'm gonna smash your
-Still getting it!
-[door unlocks]
-I got it!
[both exclaiming]
-[Cakey banging on door]
-[Five whimpers]
[both grunting]
[door splintering]
[both whimper]
[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your Hector!
[banging on door]
I'm gonna smash your
-[Five] Yoiks!
[both whimpering]
Would you stop doing that?
It's not even turned on!
This whole room's like a museum
of costumes, props and
What the Gorf? Our gauntlets
only make these creeps look creepier!
[Five] Hmm.
The glitchy processor
must be located inside the head.
That's why our emitters can't affect it.
-It's protected by the robot's skull.
-[door continues banging]
Ah, let's see.
If only we could open it somehow.
Ha ha!
Miko Smash!
Oh, come on.
Don't you think you've damaged
enough childhood icons for one day?
[dramatic music playing]
[Five] Yes!
What are you going to do with that?
Change her batteries?
If I open its head carefully,
we could avoid doing any more damage!
[banging stops]
[whispering] Do you think she's gone?
[button beeps]
I'm pairing with the security cameras,
so we should be able
to see where she went.
You can hack that stuff?
The games, the robots, the cameras,
they're all Hinobi Tech,
same as our gauntlets.
[both] Aah!
-Nerd burgers!
I'm gonna smash your Hector!
[both whimpering]
Wait! [grunts]
-I'm gonna smash your Hector!
[Miko gasps, grunts]
Okay, the screwdriver is not working out!
So, what's the new plan?
-Miko Smash!
-[Miko chuckles]
[both grunting]
[both groan]
You were so right earlier.
I'm supposed to be the responsible one,
and I let myself get carried away
over some silly childhood obsession.
And did Ralphie always look that creepy?
I'm gonna smash
Yes, Five. Yes, he did.
That bug-eyed mug
used to haunt my childhood.
"Used to"?
[gasps] Jinkies, a secret door!
[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your Hector!
-Dungeon life!
-[objects clattering]
-[both grunting]
Man, this place has ample storage.
-If we could find a way out--
-You said you'd never heard of him.
Maybe we huh?
Earlier today, you said
you'd never heard of Ralphie Bear,
but just now you said
he haunted your childhood?
I guess what I really meant was, uh--
-[floorboards thudding]
-[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your Hector!
You let me go on and on about Ralphie
like you'd never heard of him.
Why couldn't you just tell me?
[softly] Tell you what, Five?
How I grew up hating
your beloved childhood icon?
That because of one stupid birthday show,
I never got invited to another party
for the rest of my life?
You went to a birthday show?
I was the new kid in town.
I didn't know anyone,
and I'd just gotten a pity invite to
Aileen Staropolis' birthday party when
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday, dear Aileen
Happy birthday to you ♪
[door creaks]
[children laughing]
Did someone say "birthday cake"?
[Ralphie] Oh, no! It's Cakey Von Smasher!
Okay, Aileen, you know what to do!
We do?
Cakey Von Smasher, better beware
Here comes our pal Ralphie Bear! ♪
-[Ralphie] Aw, nope, ya don't!
-[Miko yelps]
[in slow motion] Don't Don't
Don't Don't
Don't Don't Don't
Don't Don't Don't
-[Miko] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
-[kids crying]
I didn't mean to. [echoes]
For years, people looked at me
and they didn't see Miko,
they only saw the monster who ruined
Aileen Staropolis' eighth birthday party.
So it was you!
Yes, Five!
Gaze upon me and tremble,
for I am the Birthday Ruiner!
I can't believe it.
Believe it, Five.
I am apparently the villain
of your origin story.
Is this your best death grip?
All these years, I was so busy
feeling sorry for myself,
I never stopped to think
maybe the Birthday Ruiner
really was just some poor kid.
Well, join the club.
Nobody else seemed to care.
That's their fault for not having
gotten to know you the way I have.
You could have told me, Miko.
-But you love Ralphie.
-[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your Hector!
Ralphie's a dumb robot.
You're my best friend.
Hmm. You're sweet when you think
you're gonna be crushed by a killer robot
in the basement of some old arcade.
Hey, I think I see a door.
Could be tough to get to, though.
[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your Hector!
[Miko] Why does she think you're a cake?
[Five] Its visual recognition software
must've gotten damaged.
When it couldn't find cake,
it found me.
[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your Hector!
It only knows things
programmed into its show script.
Ralphie was supposed to pop up
and save the day.
[Miko] So, because he's not here,
she's just stuck on this loop
waiting for her cue to finish the story?
-So all we need is to--
-[Cakey] I'm gonna smash your
-[Miko screams]
-[glitching] Hector!
-[electricity surging]
[Cakey glitching] Hector!
Why did I tell this thing my name?
-Smash! Smash! Smash!
-Smash! Smash! Smash!
-Run, Five! Run!
Will you stop that?
Ralphie was supposed
to come and fight her.
-I'm gonna smash your Hector!
-Do you want some of this?
-I'm gonna smash your Hector!
I really miss your original line.
I'm gonna smash your Hector!
Uh [grunts]
I take back every birthday wish
I had about this place.
All I ever wanted was
a little birthday magic.
The commercials made it look so good.
-[Cakey roars]
I'm gonna smash your
[in deep voice] Hector!
Kids laughing, chanting together
to summon their birthday hero.
Cakey Von Smasher, better beware
Here comes our pal-- ♪
[Miko] Ralphie Bear!
[Miko] Oh, nope, you don't!
[glitching] I smash nope, nope
Hec Hec Hec
[Miko] It worked!
smash your
[Miko] She's not targeting you!
Uh-huh. Because now she's targeting you!
[Miko] Right.
Uh-huh! Try and fight me, Ralphie Bear!
[Miko grunting]
[grunts] You are so uninvited
to my birthday!
[electricity surging]
[Miko exclaiming]
[grunting, groaning]
[grunts] Huh?
[Miko] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[gasps] Help!
[Five grunting]
You did it, Ralphie!
You saved my birthday!
Uh, Five you know it's me, right?
Just give me this moment, Miko.
[sighs] You got it, partner.
Consider your birthday unruined.
[Cakey glitching] Uh-huh!
Try and fight me
-[glitching] Ralphie Bear!
-[both] Aah!
[gauntlet voice] Glitch contained.
[sighs heavily] Job well done.
Yep. All except for the job
we were actually supposed to be doing.
-[tires screech]
-Oh, nerds. Someone's here.
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
Sorry, sir,
the arcade is closed right now.
Uh, yeah, you know,
we're having some technical difficulties
at the moment. [chuckles]
Yeah, so what's wrong?
Did something glitch?
How does he know about glitches?
That's Jimmy Alcorn,
owner of Joystick Junior,
creator of Ralphie Bear.
Look, kids, you don't run
the largest arcade in town
without knowing a thing or two
about glitchy tech.
Uh, sir, you should probably know--
-We kind of trashed your robots.
-[Five] Which is my fault.
I never got to have
a Ralphie Bear party as a kid.
Which is actually my fault,
because I trashed
the original Ralphie Bear
at Aileen's eighth birthday party.
Hey! I didn't get rid of Ralphie
because one kid freaked out at one party.
I got rid of him
because tons of kids freaked out.
[chuckling] I mean, they were, like
They were going nuts.
So Miko's not the Birthday Ruiner.
Ah, those robots were creepy as heck.
They even gave me the willies.
That's why I'm having the grand reopening.
Guys Jimmy! Perfect timing!
Well, here they are
520 unredeemed prize tickets.
I don't want to brag, but I had
quite the Skee-Ball arm back in the day.
Wait. So Ralphie's not coming back?
Oh, he's back, and with a whole new look!
Check out Ralphie Boar!
[Ralphie Boar growling in slow motion]
[theme music playing]
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