Glitch Techs (2020) s02e05 Episode Script

The New Recruit

[Five] Whoo!
[Five] Hello! Oh!
Hoo-hoo! Why so salty?
Take that, creep!
Hit it, Miko!
You're going down, glitchy!
[exclaims] Yes!
With friendship on our side,
we are unstoppable!
[Ally caws] Up top.
[Five] Guess we better un-pause these
peeps and head back to HQ.
Holy MOBA. Those Tech gauntlets can
really destabilize a glitch's resolution.
And generate plixel objects of
various design.
[scoffs] What are you doing
in there, weirdo?
[chuckles nervously and hisses]
Engage workshop mode.
-Hey, ya furball.
Okay, now, let's see if we got a
clear enough image.
Now for a little copy and paste.
Yes, come on.
Meld, you beautiful little plixels!
With a completely rendered gauntlet,
I can finally rebuild my Ridleypire.
That's it. Almost there.
No, no! Wait, wait, wait! Don't
Why won't it work, Horn?
Stop it, Horn, I'm angry here.
Stop it, you glitchy kitty.
-[electricity crackling]
-[console powering on]
If you need tech support for your
Hinobi-brand video game console,
call the Glitch Techs!
Tech support.
If I had a real gauntlet instead of
an image, I could copy it directly
Don't mew at me, buster!
All we gotta do is borrow one
from our Techie pals!
We get in, get what we need and get out.
Nobody gets hurt.
Besides, those guys owe me one.
And the glitch was all like [roars]
[chuckles] Yeah, but you were like,
"Not so fast!
I will defend Earth to my last breath!"
-Hey, guys.
-[both scream]
Wait. When did you How did you
I found you by modding this metal
detector to scan for plixel energy.
And hacked my way into your van
with this omni-tool.
I realize now I should have just
waited outside.
You made your own plixel detector?
Cool beans, can I see?
Miko, look, look, look.
It's detecting me! [giggles]
It's really good to see you, Ridley,
but I kind of thought
you never wanted to see us again.
Oh, why would you think that?
Just because you trashed my Ridleycave,
de-rezzed my Kitty-Dragon
and sucked my entire library of custom
glitches into your Tech gauntlets?
[both] Yeah.
I'm a scientist.
I seek knowledge, not vengeance.
And Miko did once say that maybe
I could join Glitch Techs, so
[squeals] Welcome aboard, guildie!
You'd be an amazing Glitch Tech!
Won't she be an amazing Glitch Tech, Five?
With all those insane
tech skills of yours?
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] Blush emotes, you guys.
Thanks for the add.
So when do I get a gauntlet?
Captain, open a portal back to HQ!
Aye, aye, captain!
[automated voice] Portal destination set.
What? Your van teleports?
How do you stabilize a portal
for something this bi
[man] Who knows what really happens when
a video game starts to glitch?
Here come the Glitch Techs
They know what to do ♪
They got the Tech
They got the moves ♪
Glitch Techs
They're the wrecking crew ♪
They'll solve the problem ♪
Glitch Techs
When a glitch is loose ♪
They'll wipe them out
Old school or new ♪
Glitch Techs
Always coming through ♪
To solve the problem ♪
Glitch Techs
Whoa-oh ♪
Glitch Techs
Yeah ♪
[Ridley screaming]
My bean is blended.
And it feels awesome!
Okay, Ridley. This is it.
We're trusting you
with the ultimate glitchy knowledge.
-Are you ready to enter our secret lair?
Are you ready to play with the
coolest tech in the universe?
Uh, are we actually going in?
[both] Yes!
Holy Mother of MOBA.
Hello and welcome to Hinobi HQ.
I'm High Five
and I'll be your tour guide today!
On your right is our main server hub,
with updated stats
on every reported glitch signature
from the last five console generations.
Tour guide Five is so cute.
[softly] Unlimited game library
And to your left, you'll see one of
our many state-of-the-art training arenas.
These Techs are learning how to use
level 7 maser cannons.
Full augmented reality simulations?
And directly in front of you--
You'll see your very annoyed boss.
Good afternoon, Techs,
and unauthorized intruder!
Phil, we were just gonna come see you.
We have a new recruit we wanna train,
and she's right here,
and I'm noticing now that you're looking
a little angry-ish about it.
My office. Now-ish.
You can't just trust
some random kid off the street.
Hinobi recruits Techs based
on thorough analysis of gamer scores,
psychological profiles, research data.
We weren't recruited that way.
Besides, you can trust Ridley.
She's our friend.
Uh, the manual says
a Glitch Tech manager can recruit
any candidate with an advanced aptitude.
Yeah. A Glitch Tech manager.
AKA, not you two.
[stuttering] Phil is correct.
What's wrong with B.I.T.T.?
[clears throat] Someone used him
to toast their bagel in a hurry
because he they, uh, are
[clears throat] hypoglycemic.
Look, the point is, your friend hasn't
been cleared through standard procedure.
So take her outside,
"restore" her system's memory
Wait, Phil. Please.
Just let us show you what she can do.
She's a really amazing modder and--
-[Ridley] Fixed.
The intruder has repaired my circuitry!
I also added some Ridley flair.
Finally, I can convey human emotions,
like love and pizza!
How did you do that?
Well, I constructed a new piece of RAM
and soldered it to the wires.
Can you get him to make donuts?
[angelic choir singing]
You got yourselves a new recruit.
[all] Yes!
But I'm holding you two responsible
for her training, understand?
We won't let you down, boss!
She'll be the best trainee Glitch Techs
has ever seen!
Now that pleasantries have been exchanged,
I have 37 questions regarding
plixel generation,
stabilization, manipulation and--
I think I'd like to be alone for a while.
The Glitch Tech tutorial should have
all the answers to your questions.
-There's a tutorial?
-[both] Uh
[Helpie] Calibrate upper left!
Calibrate lower right.
Anayamaguchi, where is the skip button
on this abomination?
I'm sorry. Training is mandatory
and cannot be skipped! [giggles]
Hey, what are you--
[Helpie fast-forwarding]
Poor Ridley. She'll be cooped up
with that corny consonant all day.
She'll be okay.
Let's just check back in a few--
[both] Already?
Completion confirmed, trainee!
Allow me to assign you with your very own
tier-one Glitch Tech gauntlet!
You're just gonna give me one?
[Miko] Sure. You're part of the team now!
[Five] Try it on!
Well, okay.
[choir singing]
How's it feel, Ridley?
It feels like ultimate power!
Does this thing have
character customization settings, or
Never mind, I see them.
[in deep voice] Power!
Honestly, guys, I was thinking
I'd just kinda go home
and get to study the ol' gauntlet
for a while? [chuckles nervously]
Uh, well, you know, as your trainers,
we're responsible for you,
so here's a quick primer
on what glitches actually are.
Raw computer code made physical
by nano-plixels that emulate the form
and behavior of their native program data?
Um, we can skip the primer. [chuckles]
-[Five] Whoa!
-[tires screech]
[Miko] Whoa!
Class dismissed.
Time for the real deal.
[tires screech]
Whoa! Phew!
It's a Cyberdactyl
from the game Smashozaurs 3!
[Miko] It's low-level,
but has a wicked sonic scream!
Let's make this glitch extinct!
We say stuff like that all the time.
Five, let's set her up for the shot.
Okay, Ridley.
You're gonna take this guy out.
Just aim and fire.
Okay. [breathes deeply]
Aim and fire, aim and fire
Hey, bird brain. Over here.
-[Five] Whoo-hoo!
-[Miko] No, over here.
Aim and fire
Are you trying to miss us?
Talk about bad coding.
Maybe he needs an aimbot?
Aim and fire
[both grunting]
You may fire when ready, Ridley.
Aim and fire!
Mitch Williams.
Nice to beat you.
Mitch, you griefer.
That was Ridley's target.
Uh, Ridley?
Oh, that little weirdo
you brought in off the street?
Hey! Who are you to--
Hey, she's our friend.
Yeah. And she's part of the team now.
Well, congratulations, tiny.
You just joined the most pathetic team
on the Glitch Tech leaderboards.
We're not pathetic.
You're right, Miko.
Sixth place isn't pathetic. It's hopeless.
[Five and Miko grunt]
You'd need to catch double your
daily average to beat my capture score.
Buh-boosh! [laughing]
-[tires screeching]
Man, just don't even listen
to that guy, Ridley.
Thanks for sticking up for me.
Of course. Friends back each other up.
Yeah, so, um, maybe I could
just take this gauntlet, and--
[groans] I just wish I could wipe
the smile off of Mitch's face.
Then do it. You gotta stand up to jerks.
I say you knock him off the top
of that daily leaderboard.
[chuckles] You know, we'd love to,
but he's higher level with better gear.
We'd have to catch, like,
twice the glitches to earn twice the XP.
[Ridley] By bringing a little of Ridley's
homebrew code
into your name-brand gauntlets,
we'll even the odds in no time.
[tires screech]
Okay, okay, I got him. What do I do now?
Just copy and paste.
[nervously] Okay.
[Five] Whoa!
Now reel 'em in.
Got it.
[Five] Whoa!
That's amazing Ridleycraft!
But against the rules maybe?
I mean, the manual doesn't mention
glitch-cloning specifically,
but modding a gauntlet
is definitely against the rules.
What? So it's fair
that Mitch can steal a glitch,
but we can't tweak our gauntlets?
-Let's do it.
[hard rock music playing]
[all] Whoo-hoo!
[Ridley laughing]
Welcome back, Techs.
Offload your capture data
and collect your XP.
We did it! Holy nerds, we did it.
We're first on the leaderboard!
[all applauding and cheering]
[Mitch] Oh, what are
you slackers looking at?
Here it comes, here it comes.
Watch Mitch's face. [giggles]
My score
Ha! Eat it, hotshot.
Your score just got ganked by Team Ridley.
Good for you.
Almost too good to be true.
I don't know what you had to do
to earn that impossible score,
but if you can look me in the eyes
and tell me it was a clean win,
then I guess I was wrong about you.
-[Five gulps]
-Oh, it was clean.
Clean and so delicious.
Okay, then. [sighs]
Five, we just pwned Mitch Williams.
Why doesn't this feel better?
That look on his face
not the one I expected.
[scoffs] Are you kidding?
It was priceless!
Ridley, I think we went too far.
Yeah, we should admit what we did.
What we did was put
a cheating griefer in his place.
Yeah, but by cheating him
and then giving him grief about it.
He was awful to us.
And now you wanna turn on me?
We're not turning on you.
We just think we should tell Phil.
Tell him what?
The new kid made us do it?
The weird one
we never should have brought here?
He'll take my gauntlet from me!
The same way you took
everything from me last time.
[Ridley grunts]
[automated voice]
Unauthorized glitch detected.
Well, this time,
I'm taking something from you.
[automated voice] Warning.
Containment breach.
Oh, nerds.
Ridley, what are you doing?
I got what I came for.
You never wanted to join Glitch Techs.
You just wanted to steal
one of our gauntlets?
Don't try coming after me.
What is going on here?
-[alarm blaring]
[automated voice]
Glitch containment breached.
Emergency lockdown initiated.
[Mitch] Hey!
[alarm blaring]
Okay, so exactly how charfed are we?
Well, those plixels
are going to reconstitute into glitches,
Ridley is gone
and she took all of her tech with her,
and we're locked in this room.
I'd say pretty charfed.
[Miko] Look out!
[Miko yelping]
[Five] Ha-ha!
[roaring loudly]
[both grunt]
[both grunt]
Computer! Activate shields.
[automated voice]
Defensive shields activated.
[all growling]
Should have bolted the moment
I got my hands on this gauntlet
instead of hanging around
thinking they'd actually
[alarm blaring]
What? They're professionals, Horn.
It's nothing they can't handle.
We need this.
[gauntlet beeping]
[automated voice] Containment core
overload imminent.
Ugh, who programmed
your heuristics anyway?
I told you we were gonna get in there,
get what we needed, and get back out
Nobody has to get hurt.
Ah, dipswitches.
[laser firing]
Oh, what is going on out there?
Come on, open up, you stupid door.
Hey, hotshot.
You want your top score back?
I need backup.
[clears throat] Me? Back up a noob?
Oh, come on.
I may be new around here,
but trust me, sport
I'm no newbie.
[glitches roaring and growling]
-Uh, what do we do when the shield breaks?
I guess we fight.
Get ready.
[Ridley] Hey, glitches!
-[Horn roaring]
-Get away from my friends!
-Now, Mitch!
-With pleasure.
[Mitch] Boosh!
How did Mitch do that?
I gave him some Ridley flair.
You guys focus on the glitches.
I'll repair the containment breach.
[B.I.T.T.] Be careful, sir! Slam!
Okay, this is the part where someone yells
"hold on to something!"
-[Ridley] Horn!
Knew you'd come back.
You so did not.
Well, maybe we didn't, but we hoped.
Friends gotta have each other's backs.
[Ridley grunts]
[Five] Aw.
Look, I
I'm sorry this didn't work out, Ridley.
But there are rules, and
because the public
can't know about Glitch Techs,
anyone who doesn't make the cut
needs to forget that they were here.
I understand.
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] Isn't there
something we can do?
She can work in the Hinobi store,
or the van garage or--
It's okay, Miko.
I get it.
I'm pretty sure
there's something in the manual
about not almost blowing up headquarters
on your first day.
I can't just wipe her memory.
[Mitch] Oh, you won't have to.
Let me do the honors, hmm?
[Mitch] You've got some amazing tricks up
those sleeves of yours, pumpkin.
But you're not ready to be a Tech
-[Ridley] Huh?
-Well, don't just stand there!
Do you want me to change my mind?
Go on, scat, you little weirdo.
[Ridley grunts]
Well, Horn, I guess I didn't make the cut.
But I know how to copy and paste.
[chiptune music playing]
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