Goof Troop (1992) s02e01 Episode Script

Queasy Rider

1
♪♪
H-H-H-HIT IT ♪
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪
YOU'RE ALWAYS
NUMBER ONE ♪
YES!
THERE'S BUDDIES,
THERE'S PALS ♪
YEAH ♪
YOU ALWAYS SEEM
TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪
CAN'T YOU SEE
YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪
LOOKIN' FOR
A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪
A REAL GOOD
TIME ♪
AAH!
REPOR
TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
AND WE'LL ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
THE BEST OF FRIENDS
FOREVER ♪
SIDE BY SIDE
WHEREVER WE GO ♪
WE'RE ALWAYS
READY TO ROLL ♪
NOW
GIMME A BEAT ♪
WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
AND WE ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
COME ON,
WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
THE BEST OF FRIENDS
FOREVER ♪
NOW WE'RE CALLING
EVERYONE ♪
COME ALONG
AND JOIN THE FUN ♪
REPORT TO
THE GOOF TROOP ♪
LA DO BE DA BOP
LA BA DO BOP ♪
YEAH!
♪♪
MAXIMUM COOL,
BUT NO WAY
HE'LL DO IT AGAIN.
BET YOU A SE
OF HANDLEGRIPS
HE DOES.
[ALL]
YAY!
ANOTHER WILD RIDER
RECORD.
AND ANOTHER
FREE PIZZA!
MAN, WE'RE TALKIN'
ONE COO-EL DUDE!
YA WANNA SEE COO-EL?
WATCH ME.
HEY. WILD RIDER'S
NOT FOR GOOFBALLS.
YEAH? THIS GOOFBALL'S
GONNA WIPE YOU OUT.
HAVE YOU POPPED
YOUR TOP?
NOBODY BEATS BUTCH.
BACK OFF, PEEJ.
I'VE BEEN
PRACTICING AT HOME.
HA HA. CHECK OU
THE MILD RIDER,
GUYS.
PEER PRESSURE.
GREAT.
COULD BE WORSE.
[GOOFY]
MAX! OH, MAX!
IT'S WORSE.
MAX!
WHERE YA HIDIN'?
GETTING PICKED UP
BY YOUR DAD--MAJOR UNCOOL.
AH-HYUCK!
A-HA HA HA!
HOWDY!
WHOA!
AH-HOO HOO HOO!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
AH-HYUCK!
THERE YA ARE, MAX.
HOPE YOU DIDN'T FORGET.
WE'RE GONNA WHIP UP
A MESS O' YOUR
FAVORITE CUPCAKES.
I EVEN GO
THE JIMMIES.
DAD.
HEY, CHECK OU
THE CHEESEHEAD.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
HEY, HOTSHOT,
SURE YOU DON'T WANNA
PLAY ANOTHER GAME?
MY QUARTER.
LET'S JUST GO,
O.K.?
HOLD ON, MAX.
THIS LOOKS
KINDA FUN.
AH-HYUCK! IT MOVES!
GAWRSH! TOUGHER
THAN IT LOOKS. AH-HYUCK!
HEH HEH. LIKE FATHER,
LIKE GOOFBALL.
AH-HYUCK! THAT'S FUN,
BUT IT'S TIME TO GO.
I HEAR THOSE
CUPPYCAKES A-CALLIN'!
DOOMED TO BE A DWEEB.
C'MON, MAX-O.
YOU CAN'T HIDE IN
YOUR GARAGE FOREVER.
LOOK, PJ,
THE WORLD IS DIVIDED
INTO TWO GROUPS--
THE COOL GUYS
AND EVERYBODY ELSE.
BUTCH IS COOL,
I'M EVERYBODY ELSE.
AT LEAST NOTHING STUPID
CAN HAPPEN TO ME HERE, RIGHT?
YIKE!
MAX, ARE YOU ALIVE?
YEAH, I'M O.K.
I, UHUHUH
HEY, WHATCHA
LOOKIN' AT?
IT'S JUS
AMOTORCYCLE!
A REAL MOTORCYCLE!
[BOTH]
COOL!
NEVER SEEN MAX
SO DOWN IN THE DUMPS.
GOTTA CHEER HIM UP.
WHOA!
DAD? DAD!
OH, DAD!
AH-HYUCK!
CHEERED UP ALREADY.
[THUMPS]
A MOTORCYCLE!
WE FOUND
A MOTORCYCLE!
IN OUR GARAGE!
THAT OLD THING?
ALMOST FORGOT I HAD IT.
CAN PJ AND I
WHEEL 'ER OUT, HUH?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WE'LL CLEAN HER UP
SHINY AS NEW.
IT'S NOT A TOY,
YOU KNOW.
IT'LL LOOK SO CHOICE.
OHO.K.
[BOTH]
YES!
BUT YA GOTTA PROMISE
YA WON'T RIDE IT.
WON'T LEAVE THE DRIVEWAY.
GOOF'S HONOR.
BUTCH THINKS HE'S COOL?
WAIT'LL HE CATCHES ME
ON THIS BAD BOY.
WE'RE TALKIN' SUBZERO.
UH! DREAM ON.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
I WON'T FORGET YOU
WHEN I'M COOL.
COOL, HUH?
WHA--?
WHOA!
[PJ]
HA HA! RIDE 'EM,
COWBOY!
HA HA HA HA!
OH, GREAT!
OH, PJ
AT YOUR SERVICE.
YOU CAN RUN,
BUT YOU CAN'T STAY DRY.
O.K., O.K. I GIVE.
THE WATER BLASTER--
SILENT, LETHAL,
GETS THE JOB DONE.
[BOTH]
WAY COOL!
WELL, HMM
MM-HMM
NICE WORK, BOYS.
THANKS, DAD.
'COURSE,
IT'LL NEVER RUN.
AND WHY NOT--
UH, SIR?
WAKE UP AND SMELL
THE AXLE GREASE, GOOFER.
TRANSMISSION'S GONE.
LOOKS REAL PRETTY
THOUGH.
YOU BOYS WANT TO
WASH MY CAR NEXT?
HA HA HA HA HA!
UH, WHAT'S
A TRANSMISSION?
[PJ]
THIS IS HOPELESS.
HEY, KEEP LOOKIN'.
THERE'S GOTTA BE
A WHATCHAMACALLIT--
TRANSMISSION.
RIGHT.
--IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS, MAX.
HEY, WHAT DOES A WASHER
NEED A TRANSMISSION FOR?
IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
HAMMER.
SLIP JOINT PLIERS.
3/16's OR 7/8's?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
THEY'RE YOUR DAD'S TOOLS.
CONTROL KNOB.
NASTY!
OPERATION'S A SUCCESS.
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOU
ALL THESE EXTRA PARTS,
MAN?
WHO NEEDS 'EM?
THEY'RE JUST SPARE STUFF.
HEY, WHAT'S
THE BIG IDEA?
GOTTA LOOK COOL.
NOW, LET'S SEE HOW
THIS PUPPY WORKS.
BUT YOUR DAD SAID--
WHAT'LL IT HURT JUS
TO START IT, PJ? COME ON.
123!
[ENGINE STARTS, DIES]
CLOSE. TRY AGAIN.
[SCREECHING]
WHOOPS.
MY MISTAKE, KITTY.
HUH? OH, MAX'S
VIDEO GAME. AH-HYUCK!
OH, THINK YOU
CAN BEAT ME, HUH?
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE STARTS]
WE DID IT!
GAWRSH!
IT SOUNDS REAL.
AH-HYUCK!
P-P-PURRS
LIKE A K-K-KITTY.
WHOA!
WOW!
IS THIS COOL OR--WHOA!
GOTTA KILL THE ENGINE!
ACK!
GOTTA
KILL THE DRIVER.
LAY OFF!
I'M GETTIN' IT.
UMPH
ISN'T THA
A FEDERAL OFFENSE?
WHOA, DAGGER!
LOOK OUT!
MAX, DO YOU KNOW
WHO WE JUST SQUASHED?
HUH?
THE ROAD HOGS!
YA SEE THOSE GUYS?
YEAH,
WE SEE 'EM, BOSS.
- THOSE TWO GUYS?
- YEAH, YEAH, TWO GUYS
OVER THERE, YEAH.
GO GRIND THEM INTO MEAT.
- GRIND 'EM UP, BOSS.
- WHAT KIND OF MEAT?
LUNCH MEAT, SALAMI.
JUST GRIND 'EM UP!
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE WE CAN
SETTLE THIS PEACEFULLY?
NEXT TIME, I STEER!
WE'RE TRAPPED!
WE'RE GONNA DIE!
MAX! DO SOMETHING!
UH-OH.
SHOW OFF, LAME-O.
AAAH!
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT ME?
ARE YOU GONNA GE
A LIMO, BOSS?
HE SAID LAME-O.
YOU'RE BOTH LAME-OS!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
PEEJ, I THINK
WE LOST 'EM.
BUT THEY
DIDN'T LOSE US.
AAH!
GREA
HIDING PLACE, MAX.
SMELL TAKES
SOME GETTIN' USED TO,
BUT IT WORKS FOR ME.
[DAGGER]
THE ROAD HOGS
WILL BE AVENGED.
YOU HEARD DAGGER.
THE ROAD HOGS
WILL BE REVENGED.
NO, HE SAID "AVENGED."
I HEARD HIM.
I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT HE SAID.
SHUT UP, WILL YAS?
SORRY, BOSS.
WHOA! THAT SKULL.
THE SILVER SKULL!
THIS CHOPPER
BELONGS TO--
MY DAD!
IT'S MY DAD'S.
HIS DAD'S THE SKULL?
OH, MAN,
THIS IS TOO WILD.
CAN'T BEAT HIM TO A PULP.
HE'S THE SON OF A LEGEND.
YOU O.K., LIL' SKULL?
OH, YEAH, BU
MY DAD'S NO LEGEND.
HEY, EVERY BIKER'S
HEARD OF THE SKULL.
ONE BAA-AD HOMBRE.
OH, THE SKULL.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID SCHOOL.
YEP, THAT'S MY OLD MAN.
TAUGHT ME HOW TO
LIVE FAST AND RIDE HARD.
GOT MY FIRST WHEELS
BEFORE I COULD WALK.
DAD'S GONNA KILL ME!
NOT TO WORRY,
LIL' SKULL.
FIX 'ER RIGHT UP.
BE AN HONOR.
BE A MIRACLE.
IT'S TOTALED.
BEAST HAS A REAL
DELICATE TOUCH.
THERE. ROAD-READY.
OUTSTANDING!
IT WOULD BE
A REAL RIGHTEOUS RIDE
TO HANG WITH
THE SON OF THE SKULL.
WELL, UH,
BEATS ICING CUPCAKES
I THINK.
[ENGINE REVVING]
CLUTCH!
TRY THE CLUTCH!
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRUISE.
I'M THE BIKER LEGEND HERE.
AAH!
JUST LET ME--
HEY, WHERE'D THEY GO?
KILLER.
THE LITTLE DUDE
HAS DEFINITELY GO
THAT SKULL MAGIC.
AS HEAD HOG,
I OFFICIALLY
DECLARE YOU
ROAD HOGS.
US?
WELCOME
TO THE CLUB.
GLAD WE'REHERE.
SUIT UP,
HOGLETS.
JACKETS ARE YOURS
FOR LIFE, NOW.
LIFE?
IS THIS
MONDO-BEYONDO COOL
OR WHAT, PEEJ?
I'M LEANING
TOWARDS "WHAT"
MYSELF.
LET'S GO HOME.
YEAH, YEAH, O.K.
AFTER WE MAKE
ONE STOP.
HUH?
CLUTCH! CLUTCH!
I'M CLUTCHING!
WHOA!
OOH!
GOOFBALL?
YOU'RE A ROAD HOG?
THEY CALL ME
"LIL' SKULL."
WHOA!
OOH!
YEP. GO
MOTOR OIL RUNNING
THROUGH MY VEINS.
I AM THE
ULTIMATE MENACE
ON TWO WHEELS.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE ULTIMATE MENACE
ON TWO WHEELS, DAG.
HUH, DAG? RIGHT, DAG?
IS THAT RIGHT, DAG?
HUH, DAG?
YA GET MY DRIFT,
"MILD RIDER"?
I'M OUTTA HERE.
JUST DON'T FORGE
WHO'S THE BADDES
BIKER AROUND!
YEAH, WELL,
I GOT A GOOD MEMORY,
AND I'M THE BADDES
BIKER AROUND!
YOU THINK MAYBE
YOU OVERDID IT?
MAYBE.
YOU HAVE
CHALLENGED ME,
LIL' SKULL.
HUH?
ME CHALLENGE YOU?
NO, SIR.
ACCORDING TO
SACRED HOG TRADITION,
THERE'S ONE WAY
TO SETTLE THIS--
A BIKER'S DUEL.
[ALL]
OOH.
[BANGING]
PJ! YOU IN THERE?
BORROWIN' MY TOOLS
I'LL TEACH HIM.
I'LL TIE HIS FINGERS
INTO KNOTS.
[CRASH]
[CAT YOWLS]
ALL RIGHT,
WHERE'S MY KID?
WHERE'S PETE JUNIOR?
WHAT? I WAS WINNIN'.
GOOF!
OH, HIYA, PETE.
TV's ON THE FRITZ.
FORGET THE BLASTED TV.
I'M LOOKING FOR PJ.
PJ? OH.
WHERE IS HE?
GEEWELL, LAST TIME
I SAW HIM HE WAS OVER--
THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING
TO FIND OUT FROM YOU!
RUG RAT TOOK MY TOOLS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
BOYS WERE WORKIN'
OUT IN THE DRIVEWAY.
MY LITTLE BOY.
27-PIECE RATCHE
SET WITH MY
INITIALS ENGRAVED!
CAN'T PU
A PRICE TAG ON THIS
KIND OF HARDWARE.
DON'T SEE MAX AND PJ
OR MY OLD CHOPPER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU LET OUR BOYS
PLAY WITH
A MOTOR-SICKLE?
WHAT KIND OF FATHER
ARE YOU, ANYWAY?
GAWRSH, MAX
PROMISED HE WOULDN'
RIDE THE CHOPPER.
WAKE UP AND SMELL
THE BURNT RUBBER, GOOF.
THEY'RE GONE!
WOW, DEADMAN'S RIDGE.
WHEN YOU PLAY CHICKEN,
YOU GOTTA STOP
RIGHT BEFORE
THE GUARDRAIL,
OR ELSE.
OR ELSE NOTHIN'!
YOU'RE THE SON
OF THE SKULL!
THEY DON'T CALL IT CHICKEN
FOR NOTHIN', PJ.
WHAT AM I
GONNA DO?
END UP
AS ROAD PIZZA?
PERFECT.
PERFECT! PIZZA!
GOTTA MAKE
A QUICK CALL,
FELLOW HOGS.
WHAT?
JUST ORDERING
SOME VICTORY PIZZA.
WAY I SEE IT,
I'M GONNA WAN
TO CELEBRATE
WHEN I WIN.
AHEM. PRIVATE CALL.
NOTHIN'S PRIVATE
BETWEEN HOGS.
C'mon, Dad,
answer the phone.
[GOOFY]
HELLO?
DAD?
ER, DAD'S PIZZA?
SORRY.
WRONG NUMBER.
DON'T HANG UP!
I'D LIKE TO ORDER
A PEPPERONI PLUS TO GO.
YOU DO DELIVER
TO DEADMAN'S RIDGE,
DON'T YOU?
PEPPERONI RIDGE?
HUH?
BEEN WORKIN' UP
AN APPETITE.
TOOK THE OLD CHOPPER
OUT FOR A CRUISE
by accident, Dad.
We're talkin' a freak
one in a million
kind of thing.
YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL BACK
AFTER THE DUEL.
READY, LIL' SKULL?
YEAH.
[THINKING]
I'M HISTORY.
STOP!
IT'S HIM
THE SKULL!
YAAH!
HEH HEH HEH.
THAT'S THE SKULL?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
AH-HYUCK!
HOWDY, BOYS.
DAD, YOU MADE IT!
YUP. YOU FELLAS
ARE COMING HOME,
WHERE YOU BELONG.
THESE FELLAS
ARE ROAD HOGS NOW.
MAX?
SORRY, DAD.
WE WERE JUST--
THEY GOTTA LIVE BY
THE CODE OF THE ROAD,
AND THE CODE SAYS
THERE'S GONNA BE A DUEL.
WHOA.
MAYBE THE SKULL HERE
WANTS TO TAKE YOU ON,
DAGGER.
HA HA HA!
HEY! OOF!
DAD! YOU CAN'T!
IF YOU WIN,
THE BOYS GO HOME.
IF I WIN, THEY'RE
HOGS FOR LIFE. GOT IT?
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS AIN'T NO WAY
TO SOLVE A PROBLEM.
WAHOOOAAA!
DOESN'
STAND A CHANCE.
- DAD, LOOK OUT!
- MR. G!
WHOA, IT'S
GETTIN' DARK EARLY.
YAAHAA-WAHOOWIE!
DAD!
THAT GEEK
SURE HAD GUTS.
YEAH.
A REAL TRAGEDY.
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
CHOPPER.
WHOA!
I'M COMIN', BOYS!
YAAAHOOO!
OH, DAD!
WAY AWESOME,
MR. G.
AH-HYUCK! OL' CHOPPER
HASN'T LET ME DOWN YET.
HE BEAT ME.
NOBODY BEATS ME.
I MEAN NOBODY
BEATS ME UNLESS
UNLESS THAT GOOF
REALLY IS THE SKULL.
WHO WOULD'VE
THOUGHT. HAA!
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW MUCH TROUBLE
THIS DUMB CHOPPER
GOT ME INTO.
HEY, DAD,
DID THEY REALLY USED TO
CALL YOU THE SKULL?
YUP. SURE DID.
NUMSKULL. AH-HYUCK!
[DAGGER]
THE GREATEST BIKER
OF ALL TIME.
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