Graves (2016) s02e02 Episode Script

1 WOMAN: Previously on Graves: (SCREAMS) President Graves, thank you for this interview.
I, Margaret Graves am declaring my candidacy for the United States Senate.
I want this to work.
But this isn't how I do family.
What do you mean, family? I'm pregnant.
Chuy, I'm out.
The night before the election, you should be out there, knocking on doors, pleading with people to vote for you.
Thanks for coming.
That's the furthest I'd come for a second date so Suddenly, because I'm not available 24-fucking-seven anymore my girlfriend tells me - you're not what I signed up for.
- Fuck! Mom and Dad, Isaiah.
Isaiah, Mom and Dad.
What happened to them? Car versus truck.
Car lost.
That's horrible.
- Hey, bro.
- (GUN BLAST) Agents Hill and Leary, ma'am, FBI.
We have a couple questions about Arturo del Rey.
Ta-dah! That's very intense.
I did this myself.
I had these made.
There's your name, baby.
We need to get the big guy back here.
If the president isn't at your side when you accept the win over Nash tomorrow night, it's all anyone's gonna talk about.
I think we should drive up there and go and get him I'll do it.
I'll go up there and I'll bring the President back.
He'll listen to me.
It's been two months.
You never even called.
I'm so sorry, really.
(PEOPLE CHEERING) ("ONLY IN AMERICA" BY JAY & THE AMERICANS PLAYING) Only in America Can a guy from anywhere Go to sleep a pauper And wake up a millionaire Can a kid without a cent Get a break and maybe Grow up to be president Only in America Land of opportunity (IN DISTORTED VOICE) My baby.
Oh, my baby.
(IN DISTORTED VOICE) Ma? Only in America (GUN BLAST) - Mmm.
- (GUN BLAST) Sir? Rise and shine, Alice, we're going hunting.
The shot, oh, my God, sir, I don't think I can do that.
Oh, don't think.
That's what this whole day is about, not thinking.
Not thinking? The further one gets into the wilderness, the greater is its lonely freedom.
Roosevelt? Sir, that's really not fair, quoting Teddy R.
when I'm this vulnerable.
You know, I invaded Panama in '89.
Noriega wasn't as big an asshole as you.
Now go in and get dressed.
OK, all right, well, I guess we could go for a few hours and still have plenty of time to get back to Mrs.
Graves before the polls close.
(SCOFFS) Fuck that.
I'm not going back.
(PEOPLE CHEERING) Mrs.
Graves? Mrs.
Graves? How do you feel about the election today? I feel wonderful.
There's no other way to be.
Today, the people get to have their say.
Thank you.
Mrs.
Graves, where's the President? Olivia and Jeremy, why aren't they with you? Oh, they'll be by my side tonight, trust me.
And no matter what, at least I know I have four votes, right? Thank you.
Thank you.
OK, so get out the vote radio phoners for what? An hour? Mm-hmm, until the only voice you have left is for your acceptance speech.
Deep breaths, from the diaphragm.
Nothing from Izaiah.
They better be on their way.
(CROWD CHEERS) Just look around you, Izaiah.
Nothing in nature is random.
(FLY BUZZES) Uh, don't shoot the messenger, sir, and I couldn't mean that more, literally.
It is imperative that we get you home for Mrs.
Graves big acceptance speech tonight.
See, look.
Like it or not, the real world won't just wait for you, sir.
Fuck the real world.
This is what's real.
Us, in the middle of nowhere.
I sure hope you know where you're going.
To find Stonewall Jackson.
What? An old, angry bastard of an elk.
First time I saw him was 15 years ago.
Seen him a few times since.
But he always disappears.
He always slips away.
So keep up.
(CHUCKLING) And let's get a little lost.
Lost? Sounds perfect.
(CELL PHONE RINGING) Hey, I love that you're calling me right now.
Hey, what are you doing? Being judged.
I swear, Sammy, I cannot wait until my bump looks like an actual bump and not just, "Fatty needs to drop that doughnut.
" Well, do you want to hang out later? Because I don't have work until tonight.
And I could just come meet you somewhere.
Oh, I'm actually headed home.
Phoenix is coming over.
We're talking all things umbra.
You OK? Yeah.
No.
I don't know.
My aunt just died.
Oh, my God.
Sammy, I'm so sorry.
Were you guys close? No, I mean, we haven't talked in like ten years, but I just got this big envelope full of shit from some lawyers that she wanted to send me.
Why don't you just come over then? I mean, I could use the company, to be honest.
Pregnant party of one is already getting very old.
Yeah, but is Isaiah gonna be there? Because I haven't seen you since that night and I don't really feel like an awkward run-in.
No, he's in Taos, picking up Daddy from day camp.
OK, well, I will see you in a little bit.
OK.
Bye.
(BLUESY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) JEREMY(SOBBING): What the fuck! He's crying.
Again.
JEREMY: Fuck.
I mean, you didn't even give me a fucking chance.
- (CELL PHONE RINGS) - We fucking connected, you know.
I thought she cared about me and I guess she just didn't 'cause she's so stupid.
Your phone's ringing.
(SIGHS) Fuck.
Hello.
(CHUCKLING) Sounds like somebody's night was a hell of a lot better than mine.
Hey, Doug.
Whoa, bud, you sound like your dog died.
Did you kill a dog? What? No.
Fuck, Doug, no.
I will bury bodies for you.
(SIGHS) Hey, man, can this wait? I'm kind of going through some shit right now.
Listen, my angry acolyte, guess who's show just went from weekly to nightly? Spoiler alert.
It's you.
Wait, what? Are you serious? As serious as the infection you're gonna have in three to seven days.
We're shooting a promo with you to announce our new lineup with Laura Wolf, who we just signed, a huge fucking get.
There's a plane to LA in an hour, be on it.
(TURNS OFF PHONE) I gotta go.
"Dr.
Timothy McCall.
" I chose him very carefully for you, doll.
Yeah, and your secret shame, Olivia, fits rather neatly into my wheelhouse.
You know, I was doing alternative facts long before they were alternative.
Mm.
Oh, that's nice.
He was a real pediatrician.
He was just days away from his Doctors Without Borders mission when he met you, Olivia, on a stopover in Albuquerque and following a carnal and passionate weekend, you fell hopelessly in love.
Your subsequent pregnancy being really the only evidence of that blissful weekend.
But he was lost in Afghanistan.
Dr.
Timothy McCall, driven by love, felt compelled to leave to be back with you and your unborn child.
And it was there, on his last day, that Dr.
McCall tragically died just after stepping on a landmine in Jalalabad.
Jalala-sad.
(SOBS QUIETLY) It breaks my heart every time.
Uh - I - Mm.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) Right? - Look, I - You can call him Tim.
Call him Tim.
- Or Timmy.
- Nope.
No, I can't do this.
Sorry, Mom.
(MARGARET CHUCKLES) Oh, my goodness.
Just have to give her a minute.
She's a process.
(SNIFFS) Your friends are here.
Thank God.
- You would not believe.
- What? What's going on? They're trying to turn my life into an ABC Afterschool Special.
Oh, God, I loved those.
Rosanna Arquette's performance in Mom and Dad Can't Hear Me literally changed my life.
That means "Mommy needs more cigarettes.
" - I'm kind of obsessed with you.
- I know.
Olivia, honey, I need you to work with me here.
- I didn't know you had guests.
- Well, you know Sammy.
Yes, we met at the hospital.
Hi.
How you doing, Mrs.
Graves? OK, um, Mom, promise you won't say anything until I'm finished.
OK, Olivia, oh, my God, I can't deal with this now.
For Christ's sake, it's my election.
Maggie, please.
I'm asking for a safe space to be heard.
Can you receive that? What's wrong with you? Respectfully, I am rejecting your birth plan and I am considering a home birth, right here, naturally, no meds, no hospitals.
Just a midwife and nature.
Like women have been doing since the dawn of the uterus.
Now please say hello to Phoenix.
He's my birth companion.
It is an honor.
I hope you'll allow me to call you Nani, Ma.
That's the Hindi term for grandmother.
No, darling, never do that.
As you wish.
(RECEDING FOOTSTEPS) (SIGHS) Well, that went well.
So, Mr.
President, I prepared for you today a simple scramble with the most beautiful mushrooms from around the cabin.
We also have some lightly grilled root vegetables with just a touch of char for texture.
Hmm.
Ahh.
I'm good.
OK, your loss then.
So, sir, this book you're writing, what is the purpose? (DEEP GUTTURAL EXHALE) Answers.
Who I am.
Who I became.
How can someone start life being open to the world only to grow up and destroy it? Everything I get near turns to shit.
Disappearing felt like a public service.
I came to write a book.
Give me that.
I just can't remember who I was before.
I've barely written a damn word.
(EATING LOUDLY) OK, this is really fucking delicious.
- It's the mushrooms.
- Mmm.
WOMAN ON TV: As our body - does the work nature intends - (QUIET MOOD MUSIC PLAYING) the cervix widens providing passage of the miracle.
And here we go.
We're crowning.
(WOMAN MOANS) Oh, my God.
Why isn't she screaming? Well, because she's experiencing the most joyous thing a woman can do.
Oh, yeah, said the guy with no vagina.
I encourage a quiet birth.
Wherein the room remains silent for the duration of the labor so as to introduce the child into a chaos-free world.
What's happening to that woman's hoohah, that's chaos.
Shh.
(WOMAN ON TV MOANS) And the mother bears down into the warm, temperature-controlled water of the birthing pool.
And the child slides through the birth canal into a world they will one day make a better place.
OK, all right, smoke break.
No.
No, it's not the video.
The video's fucking awesome.
I'm just gonna We'll watch it again when I get back.
(BABY CRIES ON TV) Isn't it fun? (DRAMATIC NEWS MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: Graves, Wolf, spinning the truth, now five nights a week.
(SNORTING) Oh, yeah.
- (SNORTS) - Let me tell you something.
This network better not be - a pile of P-O-O-P.
- Mm-hmm.
Not with the shit-ton of money they're paying me.
Why did you spell "poop" but then say "shit"? - I have no fucking idea.
- (CHUCKLES) I hardly even know where the hell we are.
(CHUCKLES) - (SOBBING) - Jesus Christ, Graves.
This sad shit is sucking the snow right out of my nose! Regroup.
Help me help you.
Martin Treadwell tried to kill your father.
Not that I don't get where he's coming from.
But why the hell didn't you try to get him out of that fucking nuthouse? I don't fucking know! I don't know! Goddamn it! OK, um, OK, Laura, you've gotta listen to me, OK? Just listen to me.
'Cause I am like five feet away from a major fucking free fall right now.
I just gotta get some of this shit straight in my head.
Um I mean, the world's gone to shit, you know! You get that, right? 'Cause Tasha didn't seem to fucking get that, you know? 'Cause she made it all about me being fucking different now.
So now, not only am I a shitty boyfriend, I'm also a shitty fucking person.
How fucking shitty is that?! Full disclosure, I don't give a shit.
I've had hot flashes that lasted longer than this relationship.
Forget the girl! You've got bigger things happening! - Right.
Yeah.
- Focus on you.
Shake shit up! Fuck yeah.
You know, you're right.
This is like a blessing, actually.
There you go.
I'm like acquitted.
Zero baggage, zero fucks.
I give two shits now, one for me and the other one - I'm fucking saving for me! - Amen! Whoo! (EXHALES DEEPLY) Whoo.
MARGARET: I'm really not OK now.
Isaiah's not answering his voicemail.
- He's not answering any of my texts.
- That's no good.
Olivia, I don't know what she's trying to do to me with this home birth.
- Home birth.
- And Jeremy, who the hell knows where he is.
Richard's gone.
All on my election day, of all the fucking days.
Oh, my God, stop that! - Stop following me.
- It's exhausting, isn't it? All of this overthinking.
It's exhausting.
You're gonna win this thing.
You're gonna win this thing.
And you're gonna need to take all the white noise that is your family and reframe it, can you reframe it? Just make your point.
Point, home births are good.
Point, they're very relatable to low-income voters who don't have health insurance.
Point, they're real, they're human.
Look, I'm not trying to malign your family, but this senate run is gonna require a perspective shift that I'm not sure you're ready or willing to pull into focus.
So can you can you just take your lens and just (WHISPERING) adjust it with me.
What your lens is not seeing is that my family is not a family.
We are an institution.
I feel like you didn't adjust your lens.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Mrs.
Graves.
OK, OK, what the hell are you doing? Well, I'm skirtling, sir.
Small quick footsteps to mimic animal footsteps masking those of a human.
I usually only use this technique when I'm bird watching, but, you know, in this case, I don't want to spook your elk.
(INSECTS BUZZING) Oh, damn it.
(INDISTINCT MUTTERING) These bugs are everywhere.
Fucking mosquitoes.
Oh, yes, mosquito repellent.
Lay it on me.
Thank you so much.
I'm getting eaten up alive.
My God! What the hell is that?! Female deer urine.
Female what? Deer urine.
Attracts the males.
That is certainly, absolutely an ask first type of thing.
(GAGGING) OK.
This is the day, Stonewall.
This is the day.
Mrs.
Graves Sir, she's gonna be so upset.
She really needs you.
RICHARD: Trust me, Isaiah.
Maggie's fine.
Enrique Ramirez, AKA Chuy, Ramirez is an associate of the Del Rey Cartel.
We arrested him last night crossing the border and believe he was involved in the murder of Arturo Del Rey.
Do you know Enrique, Miss Graves? Nope.
I've never seen this man.
He's not talking.
Hasn't said a word since we picked him up.
Last thing, the photos we found of you and Mr.
Del Rey, on the cell phone we seized, the ones you said were taken here - on this property.
- Uh-huh.
Just to ask again, are you sure you've never seen him anywhere else? I'm sure.
So listen, folks, y'all have come into my home to question my daughter without her lawyer, questions she's already answered.
I'm beginning to think that this is a fishing expedition to malign my family.
So fuck off.
What she said.
You know coming out here's helped me heal.
When I got shot it was my therapy.
Which, of course, makes no sense.
The bigness of it makes all the things that happen to you in life feel small.
(ANIMAL SCREECHING) Oh, my God.
- Stonewall.
Stonewall Jackson.
- Oh, my God, sir.
I've never seen anything like it in my life.
Shh.
He's beautiful.
The majesty.
I mean, I can't think of another word to describe it, he's majestic.
Shut the fuck up.
You're gonna scare him away.
Well, don't don't shoot him, sir.
He looks healthy.
He's still strong.
No, he's so beautiful, sir.
Please, don't.
You can't You can't do that.
RICHARD: He's outlived his natural lifespan.
You can't shoot a living thing like that.
(CHUCKLING) The old boy is still alive and kicking.
I'm so glad.
What, this whole hunting thing, you weren't ever gonna shoot? No.
Good Lord, kid.
I just like coming out here and seeing him every once in a while.
That's funny.
I do, uh, I do feel, you know, I don't know, I feel a little relieved, a little lighter.
(CHUCKLING) A lot lighter.
Why are you still here, Isaiah? With me in this fucking job? Why wouldn't I be? (CHUCKLING) Well, I can think of a million reasons.
How do you still not understand that you're my example, sir? Did you stop being the President when you got shot? No, you didn't.
And I totally understand why now.
Busy is what I need, sir.
Busy is good.
Just don't get me lost, sir.
I know what that feels like now.
Just keep me busy.
OK, kid.
Let's get the hell out of here.
- Really? Home? - Sure.
Bags are packed, it's Maggie's big night.
All right, yes, sir.
- (GUN BLAST) - (ELK HOWLS) (THUD) Oh, Stonewall.
I'm so sorry, sir! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! Clean shot.
Hell of an aim.
Never knew what hit him.
(SOBS) WOMAN: The polls getting ready to close, former First Lady Margaret Graves leads by a considerable margin over the wildcard Thomas Nash.
- Hey, Bill.
- Hey.
(SIGHS) (SNIFFS) (GROANS) When was the last time you showered? Any particular reason you crawled up my ass 30 seconds after I walk in the door? - Hormones.
- (SIGHS) Jesus, Jeremy, you're fucking high! What? (SNIFFS) - Where's Tasha? (GASPS) - Don't.
Jer.
Oh, God, you finally blew it, didn't you? Did she dump your ass? Did she? Need I remind you there's only one Graves kid sitting here with a Mexican bastard in her belly? - (GASPS) - Too soon? - Sorry.
- God.
- Jeremy? Oh, sweetheart.
- Mom.
(CHUCKLES) The polls are about to close and I'm up but - you just never know till it's over.
- Yep.
Oh, Olivia, would you please reconsider this home birth craziness.
Why is everything that I do for myself considered crazy? Home what? Your sister wants to have a medieval birth on my new Berber carpet.
- Are you hungry, sweetheart? - Oh, yeah, a little.
OK, done.
Signed.
Decided.
I'm terrified to have this baby, Mom, but making the decision to have it here is the best I have felt about anything for months.
I just I need to do something that seems impossible.
Well, this certainly qualifies.
By the way, Tasha dumped Jeremy.
Also, he's high.
Cocaine is my guess.
- (GASPS) - So please, worry about him for once.
Don't.
NEWSCASTER ON TV: For tonight's election news, decision night in America.
With 85 percent of the precincts reporting in what can only be described as a crushing landslide, Margaret Graves is projected to win the Republican party's nomination for Senate.
She'll face Democratic incumbent Jerry North in the General Election.
(WHISPERING) Oh, my God.
I fucking won.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.
Maggie.
(CHUCKLING) Congratulations, dear.
Richard.
Oh, my God, you look like Santa Clause just got out of prison.
I I I wouldn't come too near.
I haven't had a bath since Isaiah pretended he was shot.
- What? - Richard.
Now listen, honey.
Tell me everything that's been going on, OK? Well, your son is saying the most unspeakable things on TV and he's high on God knows what.
Olivia has decided she wants to give birth in our living room in a blow-up pool.
Ramona quit.
I just won the Republican primary election.
And I missed you.
Missed you too.
I'd have never done this to you, Richard, left you to stand alone.
You should've been here.
I know that, Mags.
I'm sorry.
I know.
Ramona quit? (GROANS) Speak to our children and get cleaned up.
- You smell like a urinal, my God.
- Yes, ma'am.
I want all of you beside me tonight.
It's deer urine, by the way.
It's not well, his.
(VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING ON VIDEO) Our little Samantha.
Amazing.
She's wonderful.
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY) Mom.
(SOBS QUIETLY) Is that you? (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) ("YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A LADY" BY APRIL WINE PLAYING) (CHEERING) (CHANTING) Could have been all right Could have been here tonight Could have been sweet As wine Could have been a lady Could have been all right Could have been here Tonight Could have been sweet As wine Could have been a lady Hello, Santa Fe.
I hope you're ready.
Because she's back! (CHEERING) From the great state of New Mexico, Margaret Graves! (APPLAUSE) They all want you I'd be surprised if you Realize where you're going to Could've been all right Could've been here tonight Thank you, New Mexico! (SIGHS) You vote? Yeah, me neither.
(SNIFFS) Could've been here tonight Could've been sweet as wine Could've been a lady