Gravity s01e05 Episode Script

Love At First Suicide

Previously on "Gravity" Oh, you want to race.
Go! Hot out of the oven.
I put pot in it.
We have prepared a scene.
I love it! Go for it! As long as you can say "almost," you might as well live.
I'm sorry, Miller.
You're not to know the source of the funds.
Why? But I'll give you a hint.
Suicide is a sin! My "night night cat" panties were my favorite.
"I like Robert 'cause he's an eye doctor.
" "I told you I want to be Robert's girlfriend "and have little Robert eye-doctor babies.
"cause he's handsome, and you're fat.
You're a fat fuck.
" "I'm a little Robert and Lily eye-doctor baby.
" Surprised you called.
How long you been boxing? On and off for 20 years.
I actually do more yoga now.
Oh, yeah? I've always wanted to try yoga.
Yeah.
You'll come with me.
Sure.
Uppercut.
I know you're an eye doctor, But you know, like, basic medical shit About, like, general stuff, right? Yeah.
Why? What's up? Well, I was fingering my ass this morning in the shower, And it just felt really uncomfortable.
It was like I bumped up against A fucking organ or something up in there.
Is that even possible? Never happened before.
It felt really weird.
Why why was your finger in your behind? I was jerking off.
I like to spice it up sometimes.
You know how, like, when you use your left hand, It's like somebody else is jerking you off? Well, use the finger of your left hand up your ass, And it's like somebody else's finger up your Ass.
You're very open about personal things, huh? Well You're a doctor.
It's confidential, right? Yes.
But I get the feeling you'd talk to me about it If I was the janitor.
Good call.
Probably would.
Hooks.
Hooks.
That doesn't sound like anything I'd be worried about.
Are are you urinating more often than usual? No.
Any blood in the urine or lower-back pain? No.
I wouldn't worry about it, then.
Great.
Thanks, man.
I admire how you just let it all hang out.
I mean, not necessarily the the content, But the ability to be so forthcoming Not that I disapprove of the content.
You know, to each his own.
Oh, I'm not afraid of getting judged.
I mean, everybody has their thing, right? I think most people, I mean, Even those who admit to themselves their particular Less-than-mainstream interests, They don't usually discuss it with other people.
No, they just fucking die of stomach cancer All in their fucking guts and intestines 'cause they don't fucking talk about shit Their whole fucking life! You're, like, 100% sure That I don't have stomach cancer, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
But, look, if you if you're worried, get it checked out.
No.
No, thanks.
I fucking hate Doctors! Hey.
Whoa, there, cassius clay! Right! Left! Body blow, body blow, knockout! Okay, I get it you have a penis.
I have an 18 dollars latte.
Yeah, why don't you use a no-spill top, like normal people? They burn me, you can't see how much coffee's in there, And too much rushes through the hole.
I hate them.
Why is Miller there every time I look up? He's your guardian angel.
Or my stalker.
Well, this time, it's not all about you, hotshot.
He dropped me off afterBoxing.
You guys boxed together? Yeah.
He called you? Yeah.
What, are you guys, like, "bromancing" now? Maybe.
Seriously, I will knock you out! Stop bouncing! Sorry.
Okay.
So, the good news is, you guys were great.
The seniors had a wonderful time.
But dosing people with drugs Isn't a terribly considerate thing to do, Even if it is a fairly mild drug, like pot.
Mm, gateway drug Very dangerous.
Pot leads to heroin.
Everyone knows that.
I'm sorry.
While the staff at the senior citizens home were none the wiser, We don't want to get the reputation as hooligans.
You just got beat down by the Dogg, bitch! That's right! You got beat down, bitch! Now you eat that Dogg meat! Oh, no, you will come back here, bitch! - You're gonna get punked, bitch! - Wait, wait, wait, no! Yeah, it's time for the little bitch to get fucked.
Yeah, that's it! You got a male Dogg, yeah.
Look, look, look, okay.
- Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! - Okay.
See, that's a lesson We all must be vigilant and continue to work on.
Now, another thing that concerns me I discourage dating among members in the group, For obvious reasons.
It can confuse a delicate balance, And we're dealing with life and death here.
But if it's going to happen, We need to be open and honest about it.
So is there anyone here who has anything to say? Yeah, I think Shawna is Dead sexy, And I'd like to hit that nine ways to Sunday And maybe even date.
So You want to get some pancakes? Sure.
After you, milady.
Hola.
Give me one, please.
Gracias.
Listen How old are you? ¿Como cumpleaño usted? Like 50, 55? Sí, sí, sí, sí.
Do you pee a lot? Like, more than you used to when you were young? - Like, more than your friends? - Qué? ¿En baño… Pee… …Más than when you were young? How do you say como se dice joven! When you were when su joven, Did you baño less or more con su amigos than ahora? You know what? It means that your prostate es muy macho… está bien.
Muy macho.
Macho.
Gra ¿Que pasa? Hi.
Pardon me.
Selma Jones, I'm detective Miller.
Can I have a word with you, please? What's this about? Have you ever seen this woman before? Nope.
It wouldn't have been recently.
It would have been at least 28 years ago Maybe at Mr.
Champagne's house.
Who is she? She's my mother.
You know, he was a devoted family man, And he never quite got over his wife's death.
I've never so much as seen him Speak to another woman, friend or otherwise, for years.
Well, does he have any enemies This saint that you work for? There's an ex-business partner.
Things ended badly some years ago.
Peter Peter Springs is his name.
Thank you very much.
And I'd appreciate it if this stays between us, okay? You are 18? Oh, God.
Are you even 18? 17 and legal in new york.
Ageofconsent.
Com.
Mm-hmm.
How is this my life? Shawna rollins life coach.
Hello, nancy.
Yes, we are on for tomorrow.
No, don't call leo.
Just get an activity.
Get your mind off him.
Well, chelsea piers, kickboxing, Hit some golf balls, read a book.
Okay.
Good job.
Bye.
Life coach? A teenager? Oh, come on, try and tell me That you haven't been thinking about me Life coach.
Do you know how completely fucked up I am? That's exactly what attracted me to you in the first place Life coach.
Okay, let's talk about age.
Look, I don't see age.
What I see is the hottest, sexiest, most intriguing woman that I have whacked off to since Kate Beckinsale.
Okay.
One date.
Make it fucking good, or I'm out.
Forgive me, father, for I have sin Okay, just get to it.
That's a little rude, even for you, father.
Look, I don't have time for your ramblings today.
I got a satellite tournament at A.
C tonight.
Winner gets a free ride at the world series of poker, baby.
Ah, feel the power of God.
Praise his name.
Is that really the use of power God wants his priests to invoke his name to provide? What are you? I'mAn ophthalmologist.
No, you're a sinner.
And I am a priest.
And I know about the use of God's power.
And what do you know about? Astigmatism? No.
Sinning.
So, what is your sin? Well, I told you about this girl That I met that I like, and You know, I told you the last time you were here That my patience for your arrogance is wearing thin.
Why won't you let me talk? What is the condensed essence of your sin, Robert? If your sin were A TV commercial, What would the product be? I don't know what you're talking about.
Have courage.
Life is so short, and you are wasting so much precious time.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
I tried to commit suicide.
Father Anthony? I just missed her so much.
I know.
You're forgiven.
Now go and sin no more.
Hey, that's my ride! The world series of poker! How long did you work with Mr.
Champagne? Oh, I'd say about 15 years.
And why did your business end badly? Well, B.
C.
is about money, and money only.
He'd buy you a boat before he'd say "good job".
I like a more human touch in my business.
Did you ever see this woman when you were working with him? Nope.
I wish.
But, no.
B.
C.
was faithful.
I mean, he he loved Emily and was crushed when she died.
I think Lily always suffered a little unduly at the hands of his misplaced blame for her death.
But I'll tell you this If he knew that woman, there's a trail of money somewhere that leads to her.
Listen, I got to go back to work.
- I appreciate your time.
- Oh, anytime! - Thank you, sir.
- All right.
Bye-bye.
I don't quite know how information is disseminated up there, so I don't know if you know, but I tried to kill myself to be with you.
Just couldn't take it anymore without you.
And I know you said that I should move on and live my life Meet someone Have a family.
And you weren't gonna be mad, but You also tried to convince me that you love football, so Could you just let me know? Just tell me.
'cause I really need to know Before I can let the idea of us for eternity go.
Hello? I can't believe she just suddenly died like that.
That's what old people do.
You must have made quite an impression on her.
She made quite an impression on me.
You never told me what your tattoo means.
You have plans today? To the bat vines, Robin.
Okay.
Hey, go up there.
All right.
Oh, my God! You baby! Boxing apparently used muscles never before used.
Well, man up and be quiet! I'm in.
I'm in.
I never got to touch them.
Not even before they were in the cases? Nope.
My father said there was no need.
You want to see something else? Sure.
You see, I used to measure The distance between me and my father.
3/8 of an inch equals 2 feet in this one.
2 inches equals 4 feet in this one Because it's further away.
I loved my pencils.
I used to hold my favorite pencil, And I would try to erase the space Between me and my father.
And sometimes I would Try to draw my mother in the empty space.
I love to sketch.
It was like I could draw The things that I wanted in my life.
If I could have drawn my own tattoo, I would have.
The day I got it, I was 16.
I came home with my hair in a ponytail.
I'm sure my father saw it.
I suppose I wanted him to see it and get angry.
Any emotion would have worked.
He never wanted me.
He never even wanted to touch me.
And to keep up appearances, he would give me things That he thought made him seem more loving, But It just made me feel even more empty.
I wish I knew you back then.
Me too.
So I'm happy to see that Adam has made a new friend.
I know you from somewhere.
She's more than just a friend, mom.
Oh? Yeah.
Well, we're friends, and, yes, Mr.
Rosenblum, You've probably seen me on TV.
Yeah, see, my girlfriend was a famous spokesmodel.
Yeah.
Hey, do that the tampon commercial That you did for my dad.
My dad just loves tampon commercials.
I remember! I remember.
The new tampon mini you can even put them in your pocket and no one will ever know the new tampon mini.
What are you doing with my son? Honey, sometimes it's not the most perfect timing To get straight to the point.
If we got to the point more often, We could have avoided thisTrunk situation.
So, you refer to your son's suicide attempt as "the trunk situation"? So How did you two meet? In in group.
You're a counselor.
No, I sit next to Adam.
Oh, tell them, honey.
No, you tell them, honey.
Okay.
It was a Wednesday.
I remember because It was my birthday.
The phone rang.
Hello? It was my agent.
Hi, Michael.
VH1 wanted to do a "Where are they now?" special on me.
What? No! I love hearts.
That was Practically verbatim.
Love at first suicide.
That's it.
Okay.
And how did you find me, again? - I'm a cop, okay? I heard about you.
Don't worry about it.
- Okay.
Can you break into that account and find out who's funding it? - How long has it been open? - I don't know when it was opened, but I've been receiving money from it since 1990.
Okay, okay.
Well, it depends.
There there are sort of a lot of variables.
But I can kind of just get into the work, And then I'll give you my prognosis, if that works.
You're a bottom, right? Excuse me? Let me ask you a question When you get fucked with a dick that's like I don't know, like Like that size or maybe a little bigger If a dick that big goes up your ass, does that hurt you? Does it I mean, does it, like, Bump up against any, like, organs or your prostate Or something in a in a in a way that That feels like it could injure you? Hopefully.
Just let me know about the money as soon as you know, okay? Sure thing.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll getRight on this.
Where are you going Robert? We're really near the cliffs that you drove off, aren't we? Yeah.
So, take me there.
No, I yes.
So Was our first date everything you imagined? Well, I never thought I would say this To a guy whose crotch I had my hand on all night, But why are you grounded? I started a company.
I'm a twitician.
It's like a twitter mortician.
I tweet what people would say if they could when they die.
I mean, they pay me before they die, And then I put it online for them after they die.
My parents thought it was morbid.
Well, they're right.
I mean, you're a genius, but They're right.
Be my life coach.
Be my twitician.
Okay.
What last words would you like me to tweet? I think when you're done being grounded, You should come to my apartment, And we'll see what will happen if we're both naked.
You are the best life coach I've ever had.
Night.
She went to the doctor for a routine checkup Before we were gonna start trying to have a baby.
Stage 4 ovarian cancer.
We tried everything the west and the east had to offer Chemo, fasts, herbs, ice-water baths Surgery, of course.
It was brutal.
Drawn-out.
She really wanted to stay here.
I'm sorry.
We parked here on our second date.
I tried to get her to park here on the first date, But she was a nice catholic girl.
So we made out at her parents' house instead On the first one.
I asked her to go steady here.
I proposed to her here.
Do you still think of going to her? Less and less.
Do you still think about going to him? Less than no.
This is where I had The only real connection of my entire life.
And he was a ghost.
Well, I assure you I'm very real.
More than real.
Oh, he's got her on the ropes.
He's giving her a left.
He's giving her a right.
And another left.
Shut the fuck up, you moron.

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