Green Eggs and Ham (2019) s01e06 Episode Script


1 Hey, guitar player Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How to laugh and dance Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man We still got a whole lot left to learn If you only knew If you only knew We'll do something new Start a snowball fight in June If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How the game has changed You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains But take any advice With a grain of salt If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Our heroes' cover was blown when Jenkins ran free, all because of one tiny, little flea.
They're onto us, Sam! We're done for! Don't worry.
We'll be miles out of town before the news gets out.
Did you see anything?! Oh! This is the Seuss News Network.
I'm Loretta Mums, and you've entered The Panic Room.
Start panicking.
Breaking news on the baby-eating monster running loose on the streets of Prinz Pazookle.
The Chickeraffe did not escape from the Glurfsburg Zoo.
It was stolen! The suspects are at large and might be under your bed! One is described as short, slight, red-hatted, bright-eyed with a smile that just makes you feel great about life.
Clearly, the brains of the operation.
- She pretty much nailed it.
- Sam! The other suspect is obviously some kind of goon or flunky.
He wears a brown hat, sour expression, and an almost tangible aura of failure.
They've got us pegged.
We need disguises.
Boop! Switching hats is not a disguise.
For more on day one of Chickeraffe Hysterimaniaterrogate, let's go to Joaquin Furmano, our man on the street.
Thank you, Loretta.
Excuse me, sir? Do you have a moment to answer some questions about the Chickeraffe heist? Absolutely.
How would you characterize the thieves? I'd say they're two men who delight in each other's company and clearly share a very special bond.
Would you say they're best friends? Oh, yeah.
The vibe was unmistakable.
Oh, what a great person.
I mean, who could possibly find anything bad to say about him? I hate that Sam.
Since we last saw our BADGUYS, they've had quite a trek.
A bird's nested on Gluntz, and he's pecking her neck.
Shoo! While McWinkle was bit by a poisonous snake, he sprained both of his knees, and stepped on a Huh.
I was gonna say "shovel.
" I'd better cool you off, sir.
You're looking pretty surly.
We're back on their trail! We better hurry.
It's gone public.
The Bigman won't be happy.
I am not happy! It's gone public! Every Tom, Dick, and Glaffy is going to be after my Chickeraffe.
- I could be arrested.
- Yes, Mr.
- I could lose my company.
- Yes, Mr.
But most importantly, I could be embarrassed in front of my Cronies.
Oh, yes, Mr.
Rescind all the invitations to the SnerzDay Gala.
Sir, I'm afraid everyone has already RSVP'd.
"I'll be there.
" "Can't wait, X.
" Oh, yes, yes.
"Wouldn't miss your humiliation for the world.
" Fine.
"Yum, Chickeraffe.
" We're not eating it! Flizzapajimbit! There's no way out of this.
I need that Chickeraffe.
This is nice.
Driving in the car, just two gals on the road to Meepville.
Really? What's gotten into you? N-Nothing.
You're just more fun than I thought.
Well, speaking of fun, I was thinking we should stop at this really fun place coming up on the road.
Are you serious? I am not serious, because we're talking about fun.
In fact, we're almost there.
No way! We're going to that World's Smallest Thermometer? Can you believe they made one that small? I can't even see it.
You gotta really look for it.
Because that's the fun part.
I can't even see it! See? Look at this.
It's the hottest spot in town.
You were right, honey.
Tons of parking over here! No one wants to come see this thing.
Carnival, here we come! - Yes! - Whoa, that was awesome! Now remember, kids, have extra fun today! We only get to go to the carnival four times a week! Oh, please! Who wants to go to a carnival? I do.
Because carnivals are fun, and there's one right across the road.
But you're ignoring it, because you have no idea what fun is.
Because you're no fun! Ooh! E.
wished she could pop the words back into her mouth.
Her mom's happy smile was now pointing south.
I'm sorry, Mom.
I didn't mean it.
Those three words, "You're no fun," they rang out like a gong.
She was left with no choice but to prove E.
You did mean it.
But it's not true, E.
I am fun.
I am super fun.
And we're gonna have fun together.
We are? That's right.
I'm more fun than you can handle! You just don't know it yet.
Oh, okay.
Are you sure? We're gonna go across that street, and we're gonna have a great time! What? We're boxed in.
Cops! Cops! Yeah! We're cops! - We're cops! - We're cops! - Cops! - Cops! - Cops! - Cops! Cops are coming.
Really? Are you sure? Sam, they are literally saying We're cops! Relax.
We've got our disguises.
Switching hats will never fool the Hmm.
- We're cops! - Cops! - Cops! - Cops! - We're cops! - Cops! - Cops! - We're cops! Unbelievable.
You're stupid hat idea actually worked.
You know, red is really your color.
But we're still wanted men, and you spent all our money.
It'll be fine, Guy.
Things always work out in the end.
Oh, yeah, for you.
You do whatever you want, and everything always turns your way.
Even your police sketch! Looks amazing! - Thank you.
- Tell me, how does it feel to be so yipping lucky? You, sir, are about to find out.
Can you feel that? How about now? What are you doing? It's happening! Ooh.
My luck is rubbing off on you.
Sure it is, Sam.
We need money to reach Meepville, and it's not as if two jobs - are about to fall out of thin air.
- Why aren't you two working? It's Dave and Randy, isn't it? Right.
I'm not paying you 19 bruckles a day to stand around, am I, Dave and Randy? - No, sir.
Absolutely not.
- Dave and Randy love to work! Good! Follow me.
See that? Today is your lucky day! Money for Meepville! What can I get you? Information.
With a side of facts.
And a skinny half-caf latte, please.
The men who did this.
What do you know? Chickeraffe guys.
Oh, yeah, they were just a couple of ordinary Garys.
Could barely afford the half-off menu.
One had a half oatmush and other had green eggs and nothing.
Half-off menu.
What does that tell you? They're watching their weight! Ah, Gluntz.
It means they're broke.
And where would someone go to make money in this town? Here we are! What's first on our fungenda? Oh, a petting zoo.
Touchy, touchy! Let's put a pin in that.
Oh! A magic show! Oh! Oh.
Uh, baby steps, Mom.
How about some fun food? Look, they've got cotton candy, flannel candy, nylon candy.
Yeah, well, okay.
Ooh! Flannel candy! Flannel candy! No.
No flannel candy.
I knew you couldn't handle this.
For a second, I thought we were gonna actually have some fun.
What? No.
We are.
And you know what's fun? That invisible thermometer? No! No, no, no, no, no.
Nobody wants to see that thing.
What's fun is rides.
Big, crazy, scary rides! Come on! It goes like this.
First, we get the job.
Then, we get the money.
Sam! Then we get the tickets to Meepville, sonny! - Going to the M to the - Sam! There's something wrong with Mr.
What does he spy? Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock.
A dozen Chickeraffes? Had Jenkins found his flock? He's probably restless.
He needs a soothing pat pat.
No, don't let him out.
Jenkins, come on.
We have to keep you safe.
Guy, it's fine.
Look, he blends right in.
What happens when some child hits those bottles and wins a real, live, wild Chickeraffe? Oh, you sweet, sweet, naive soul.
These games are all rigged.
I once spent my whole allowance trying to win a big Pigorangutoad.
Three hours later, my mom convinced the carny to give it to me.
What a lady.
The point is, nobody ever wins the big prize.
- Eh? - Hey, Dave and Randy, get your goldbrickin' behinds over here! I don't think this is such a good idea.
He'll be fine.
Stay, Mr.
Dave, you got the Wheel of Insanity.
Randy, you're on the Relaxation Station.
Now get to it! Huh.
That job sounds surprisingly nice.
Maybe your luck really did rub off on me.
It was worth the chafing.
This is a nice job.
Whoa! This is not nice! Ah.
This is nice.
My knees! My neck! You're the best! Whoo! Yeah! Oh, you feel that? The targets are here, Gluntz.
I can taste it.
Oh! This is so good! Flannel candy! Oh, oh, oh, oh! McWinkle! McWinkle! I told you that stuff was gonna make you hyper.
No, no, no, no.
Look, look, look, look, look! Son of a Yip! - Give us that Chickeraffe, carny! - Here we are! Come and knock down my milk bottles.
Three tries for a bruckle.
I'll only need one.
Here we are.
The rides! Oh.
Oh! Uh! You are a fun mom.
Craziest ride at the carnival.
Are you ready to feel the Wheel of Insanity? Seriously? You don't have to do this.
Why don't we try something more your pace? Like the Merry-Go-Still.
Are you kidding? Whoo-hoo! I am so pumped up for the Wheel! Um, Mom, can you come back to me now? I'm here, E.
You know where I'd rather be? The Wheel.
We're gonna have fun on that ride, even if it kills us! Mom! This isn't you! Uh-huh.
Hey, CB, Carnival Buddy.
Is everything okay? You're looking a little gooey there.
I wanna switch jobs.
Let's do it.
You're gonna love this one.
How's the Relaxation Station? Very relaxing.
Anything I need to know about this? Nah.
Just surrender to the rhythm! We're doing this, E.
We're doing it! "Oh, no!" Guy thought.
"What is she doing here?" She wouldn't be thrilled with his new, fake career.
Whoo-hoo! So he turned to the machine to select the right gear, and right about then, his face filled with fear.
Oh, no.
Hands up! The whole time.
Everybody, my hands are gonna be up the whole time.
'Cause you know what? I trust that Oh, where's the seat belt? There's no safety poofs? Welcome back, Mom.
Now, come on.
Let's get you out of Oh, no.
Stay close.
Hold on tight, E.
Whoa! Whoa! Oh.
I'm sorry I brought us on this! I'm sorry I pushed you into it! I think these games are rigged, Gluntz.
Then we just need to even the odds.
Flannel candy! Dunk me, Dominic.
I feel it.
This is the one.
This is the one.
Aw! That was so close.
Jenkins! Are we dead, Mom? I don't think so.
Oh! Your hair.
My hair? Oh, your hair.
Wow! Whoa! Now that was legit fun.
It was.
Here, go get some fabric candy.
Get a little bit of everything.
Cotton, nylon, flannel, even the poly rayon blend.
By myself? Mm-hmm.
But I'll be watching you the whole time.
It's good to have you back.
Guy stood there holding her hat in his hand.
So much to say, but would she understand? That he truthfully wasn't a dangerous guy.
Might Sam's luck have rubbed off? He gave it a try.
I love your hair.
I probably should've led with "hello.
" So you work at the carnival now? Because I thought you were Guy, the exploding inventor.
No, wait.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's Guy, the Paint Watcher, am I right? No, no, wait a second.
No, I forgot.
You're Guy, the wild animal smuggler.
Is your name even really Guy? - Yes.
My name is - Randy! You're fired! You and that Dave made a mess of everything! Randy? What kind of a con artist are you anyway? Sorry.
That's a tickling fish.
Long story.
The truth is Well, all of it's true.
I was an inventor, and and now I really do want to be a Paint Watcher.
I'm not a felon, I swear.
I I jaywalked once, but I'm just trying to ensure that poor animal is safe.
The animal is not safe! Goodbye, Randy.
Excuse me! Coming through! Love your dress.
I told you not to leave him alone.
Jenkins was stunned.
Jenkins was shocked! So many Chickeraffes! He's about to get flocked! Find it! We're not losing that animal.
Huh? Yes, sir.
They're adorable, sir.
You're safe, Mr.
Now we can get you back to your real flock.
How are we supposed to do that when we don't have any money? This job was our last hope.
It'll work out.
I know it.
Sam? No, it won't.
Sam! Guy! Mr.
Jenkins! I knew you would take care of him.
I'm not so sure about that.
We don't have enough bruckles to get to Meepville.
Take it.
No, E.
B, that's yours.
- We can't.
- You have to.
I know you need it.
I can't stand the thought of Mr.
Jenkins being without his family.
These drifters, what were their names? Dave and Randy.
It's a shame.
They came highly recommended, for drifters.
Sam! We need to move now! Thank you.
We're gonna get him home.
I promise.
You better! Now run! Hmm? Roll out, Gluntz.
How are we supposed to afford to travel with just this? It's barely enough to buy a stamp! Genius! Pardon.
How far might this get us? To the next town.
We're just about to send the truck out.
They're almost here.
Hurry! This looks like a lovely box for two.
Return to sender Address unknown No such number Truck going out! - Follow that truck.
- Eh, sure.
It's gonna be a couple hours.
McWinkle! Pop, pop.
Pop, pop, pop.
How annoying is this bubble wrap? Can you imagine two hours of this? Green eggs and ham on a stick? Bestest carnival food ever.
Wanna try? They're really good in a box.
No, I will not eat them in a box.
Wait a minute.
How did you pay for them? I didn't.
I struck up a conversation with the vendor, and he gave them to me for free.
Why wouldn't they be free? Stuff always turns out fine for Sam.
You do wrong and win.
I do right, and it all blows up in my face! When her hat landed in my hands, I really thought your luck rubbed off on me.
That I received some of that special Sam-I-Am mojo.
But what happens to me? I end up doused, and soused, and fished, and flattened.
And when I try to be honest, suddenly, I'm Randy.
I thought you were Dave.
Never mind! I'm through with you.
Ow! Ow! Whoo-hoo! All right! Mission accomplished.
Look at this.
This is a cute town.
I feel like I could just settle down here and never leave.
Just kind of like, I bet I bet a lot of people's grandparents live here.
It's just a comfortable place.
- Sam! Watch out.
- What? Genuine convict! Sam was pinched.
He was caught.
His luck had run dry.
His only hope was his good old friend Guy-Am-I.
Oh, such a dilemma! What will Guy do? Save Sam or himself? And the Chickeraffe, too.
Hey, guitar player Mmm New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic