Green Eggs and Ham (2019) s01e07 Episode Script


1 Hey, guitar player Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How to laugh and dance Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man We still got a whole lot left to learn If you only knew If you only knew We'll do something new Start a snowball fight in June If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How the game has changed You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains But take any advice With a grain of salt If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic [narrator.]
Though he was in trouble, Sam's first thought was his friends.
Guy! Mr.
Jenkins! If you can hear me, flee! Save yourselves! [narrator.]
But it looks like their stories will have separate ends.
- [Mr.
Jenkins squawking.]
- [sighs.]
I know, pal.
But I need to get you to Meepville.
Poor Sam! Off to jail! This doesn't seem right! After you, sir.
But lucky for him, this cop was polite.
No, after you.
No, please, after you.
No, please, after you.
Oh, please, I insist.
I insist that I insist.
Well, thank you kindly.
I'm sorry to take advantage of your kindness, but I have a best friend and a defenseless animal who need me.
What a nice young man! I admire your loyalty, but I'm afraid I still have to apprehend you! [Sam.]
I admire your sense of duty! [grunts.]
[clicks tongue.]
Hey, please stop! Apologies! [chuckles.]
Whoa! Ha! Hold the door, please! - [Sam.]
Here you go! - [grunts.]
- ["Pomp and Circumstance" plays.]
- [clears throat.]
My fellow students - [grunts.]
- Ooh! [thuds.]
[person coughs.]
- [clears throat.]
- [feedback.]
Oh, the places you'll go! Hopefully, not jail.
The end! [graduates cheering.]
Guy! Mr.
Jenkins! Can you hear me? If you can hear me, wave! - [blows.]
- [squeaking.]
[Sam gasps.]
Guy! Yes! I knew I'd find you! [laughs.]
- Don't move! I'll be right there.
- Taxi! No! Guy! Hey! Over here! No, hey! No, wait, Guy! [panting.]
I'm sorry, but I really do need to arrest you now.
Did you find your friends? No.
I lost them.
May I arrest you now? Yeah.
You're a really good hugger.
[McWinkle grunts.]
Surrender or eat net, fools! [train whistle blows in distance.]
No fools in sight.
Um, McWinkle, look.
- [dog barking.]
- [McWinkle groans.]
We're supposed to be in South Shvizelton.
- [grunts.]
- [gasps.]
You know what? It's not funny now, but later we're gonna laugh.
[owl hoots.]
Welcome to Shvizelton jail.
Enjoy your stay.
Oh, and you're entitled to one call.
Okay, one call.
Guy! [sniffs.]
Ugh! What is that smell? Oh, uh, a green egg and ham burrito.
Or-or maybe it's my green egg and ham air freshener.
Or-or-or maybe, my green egg and ham scented seat covers.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Please, just put on the radio.
- Okee flokey.
- [switches on radio.]
[country song plays.]
[Sam singing.]
Please come back My heart's all muddy You're my best friend And my travel buddy So, come back Guy! [announcer on radio.]
That was "Guilt Trip" by Sam, featuring DJ Please Don't Leave Me.
- Turn it off! - [turns off radio.]
Jeez, I love Sam.
I thought everybody loved Sam.
Jenkins squawks and whimpers.]
We're doing the right thing.
How's it going? - Oh, hello! - [laughing.]
Hello, happy man! [giggles.]
Right side! Wrong side! Amazing! Stupid! Rainbows! Barf! [man.]
Hey! Hello, strangers! Welcome to South Shvizelton! Cut the pleasantries.
What's the word on the street about the Chickeraffe Bandits? [chuckling.]
Oh, no.
Here in South Shvizelton, we don't like to gossip.
How about in North Shvizelton? [cat yowls.]
They caught one of those Chickeraffe boys.
Got him locked up in jail.
Also, my neighbor Phyllis says her fruit loaf is homemade, but it's really store-bought.
Ooh, that felt good.
Looks like we found our target.
Yes, Phyllis will finally be exposed.
The Chickeraffe is within our grasp.
The Bigman can finally relax.
[alarm ringing.]
The Chickeraffe isn't gonna make it in time! - Hurry up! Yes Man, move it! - Yes, Mr.
Gotta get out before the Cronies find out! - I got it! - You call that moving? - Moving, moving.
- Come on! - Move! - [grunting.]
Hurry up! Hurry up! Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta go! Got to go! Come on! If I go down, you go down with me.
- [grunts.]
- Look at Snerz.
He's skipping town, creating a whole new identity as a completely different, yet equally impressive person.
[telephone rings.]
[clears throat.]
Uh [in Cockney accent.]
'Ello? Winsor T.
Aruba speakin'.
[in normal voice.]
Oh, really? [chuckles.]
Thank you.
Yes! [chuckling.]
Yes! Chickeraffe delivery imminent.
Orchestra, danceable celebration song now! [orchestra plays "Jump in the Line".]
[humming along.]
Yes Man, put it all back! [Yes Man.]
Sure thing, Mr.
I love me! Yes! [laughs.]
[Sam singing.]
I met my fate in dear old Shvizelton [mimics harmonica.]
When they tossed me In their great big priselton [mimics harmonica.]
What would my mom think of me now? [mimics harmonica.]
Locked up tight in this hoosegow - [clanging.]
- Oh, sorry, friend.
We have a "no blues" policy here.
But I'm very blue.
It's so lonely in here.
Will I ever be getting a cellmate? Good news! You've already got one.
Hey there, little guy.
What are you in for? Did you commit a little mouse crime? [rousing music plays.]
[in French accent.]
My only crime was being a husband and a father at a time when there is more hunger than mercy in this world.
I lived a life of humble joys My wife and child were my salvation It was a time of poverty That starved both man and mouse across The nation And so, I roamed the wretched streets And sought to make an honest living But each boutique was fully staffed Each propriétaire was unforgiving [squeaking.]
[mouse singing.]
My day was spent in vain Not a centime did I gain But still my heart commanded "You cannot go home empty-handed" All I could afford to pay Was an homage But my family Really needed that fromage Aha! J'accuse! Squeak! Le freeze.
S'il vous plaît, man.
It is for my family.
I don't care.
[mouse singing.]
If love's a crime, I've no regrets Stealing cheese, it does not haunt me But the dream of my old life That's the reverie That ever taunts me [squeaking.]
I understood none of that, but I'm gonna call you Squeaky.
- [squeaks.]
- Yoo-hoo! Sam-I-Am, you have a visitor.
And who might you be? It's me, Guy.
With a mustache.
Nice to meet you Guy-With-A-Mustache.
I'm Sam-With-A-Jail-Hat.
What can I do for you, perfect stranger? No, you It's Guy with a mustache.
- [exclaims.]
- I knew you'd come back! - [grunting.]
- I saw you get into that cab, but I knew you couldn't abandon your best friend.
Believe me, I tried.
- [grunts.]
- And you still couldn't do it.
All right, what's the plan to bust you outta here? Hmm.
Feels like a two-man job to me, if you know what I mean.
You mean eh-eh? Uh-huh.
[both laughing.]
Guy knew what Sam meant by that mischievous wink.
He had to get caught and thrown into the clink.
Pardon me, Officer.
I am turning myself in.
Okay, great! [chuckles.]
Uh, a-and who might you be? It's me.
- See? - [chuckles.]
This isn't you.
This guy's way too attractive.
Finally! - Uh, check this into evidence, please.
- [Mr.
Jenkins squawks.]
One briefcase.
Huh? [humming.]
Hey, Guy, what a big surprise! Oh, oh! Guess what they serve here! Green eggs and ham.
- Try some? - Ugh, no! They're surprisingly good with the mouse.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
- [gulps.]
- I'm fine with oatmush.
I don't want to eat them with you either, you filthy son of a - [squeaking.]
- [giggles.]
So, what's the plan? Plan? I don't have a plan.
But the thing where you were like, "Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha, ha!" And I was like, "Ah, ha, ha, ha.
" [laughs.]
Oh, yeah.
That was funny.
Good times.
You said you had a plan.
Two-man job.
Do you remember that? [chuckles.]
Yeah, two-man jobs are way more fun than one.
But no plan.
Any ideas? [groans.]
I was free.
Jenkins and I would've been halfway to Meepville by now.
But no, I had to turn around and save you.
- What was I thinking? - [Sam giggles.]
Yeah, what were you thinking? [grunts.]
Ah-ha! Excuse me.
Uh, who are you? Well, first and foremost, I'm an optimist.
And my partner here is No one to be trifled with.
The Chickeraffe thief, is he here? Oh, yeah.
Sweet man.
Ordered the green eggs and ham.
You question the target.
I'll search the evidence room for anything that squawks.
Yes, sir! Okay.
Bright side, people in jail get in really good shape.
[grunting and straining.]
One This couldn't be any worse.
The Chickeraffe thieves are just down here.
Good! Because Gluntz takes no prisoners, even when they're already prisoners.
The BADGUYS! We're trapped! Only, we are not! For I have a plan! Which after 17 years of careful preparation is finally ready to be executed! Step one, gird your loins, for this will require courage that few men possess.
- You follow any of this? - Nope.
But have you ever seen anything more adorable in your entire life? Where you going, little guy? Step two, tear down this wall, which is not a wall! [laughs.]
Follow that mouse.
You may not want to watch this, toots.
It won't be pretty.
Okay, gentlemen, time to talk.
Oh, so that's how you're gonna to play it, huh? Well, just know, I will break you, even if it takes all night.
[Guy grunting and groaning.]
Wonderful, yeah.
Let's follow the mouse.
Step eight, reclaim what it rightfully ours.
[McWinkle grunting.]
I know you're in here, Chickeraffe.
Huh? Mr.
Jenkins! [sniffs.]
Ah, bittersweet agony.
It is aged to perfection.
- [brick scraping.]
- Huh? [grumbles.]
- [cart squeaking.]
- [humming.]
[squeaking angrily.]
Sam, wait! [humming.]
Jenkins squawking.]
[squawking and warbling.]
- Whoa! [grunts.]
- [warbles.]
Hey! [grunts.]
- Come back here! - [panting.]
Whoa! [screams.]
Whoa! [squeaking.]
[Sam and Guy grunt.]
- [Sam.]
Whoa! - [Guy screams.]
[Sam and Guy grunt.]
- [chuckles.]
- [laughs.]
I don't believe it.
We made it! Yeah, well, Squeaky knows what he's doing.
The mouse earned their trust.
- Their fate was his to determine.
- [grunts.]
Who would have thunk it? Saved by a vermin.
- [gasps.]
- [narrator.]
Sorry! Rodent? - [scoffs.]
- [narrator.]
We'll stick with mouse, even if it kills the rhyme.
Step 47, follow quickly behind me now, for it is our gateway to liberty! [squeaking.]
And there's the hitch in this ingenious plan.
It was made for a mouse and not for a man.
I should not have had that green eggs and ham back there.
And I shouldn't have followed you.
Follow me.
Where? To freedom! [groans.]
Okay, tough guys.
You're good at this.
I'll give you that.
I'm gonna give you one last chance before I have to introduce you to Bad Gluntz.
You don't wanna meet Bad Gluntz! Where's the Chickeraffe? Uh, ma'am? Not now! They're about to crack.
Aren't you, boys? - Um, it's just - Wha I'm sorry.
What did I just say to you? I am putting a lot of effort into this.
Can you not see the roll I'm on? Now, spill the beans! Those are just hats.
Yeah, duh! [scoffs.]
We've got an escape! Sound the El-Llama! [gasps.]
[trumpeting loudly.]
The bunny goes around the tree, hops up, down the hole.
The bunny goes around the tree, hops up, down the hole.
The bunny goes [gasps.]
Uh, Guy, I think Jenkins ate the last bunny.
- [Mr.
Jenkins squawks.]
- We're at the end of our rope.
- [whimpers.]
- [Sam.]
However, we're just a short hop to that pipe.
Very jumpable.
That is insane.
You are the world's worst judge of jumpability.
We can make it.
Just let go.
"Two-man job!" I should've left while I had the chance.
One two three! - Why aren't you jumping? - Sam! [screams.]
See? Totally jumpable.
Guy! Guy, we're home free! - [wind blowing.]
- Come on, buddy! Jump! It's no use.
Save yourself before they put you away forever.
I don't care! I'll go back to jail for ten forevers before I'd leave my best friend behind.
When guy had the chance, he abandoned poor Sam.
And here was his buddy, refusing to scram.
- There he is! - This ends now! Go, Sam, while you still have a chance.
They're gonna catch me.
Not if I catch you first! [hyperventilating.]
A friendship like Sam's is super contagious.
It gives you the guts to do something outrageous.
[both grunt.]
[Sam straining.]
I don't believe it! We did it! You did it! Sam, I just wanna say [screams.]
That was so touching.
Wup! Whoa! [screaming.]
Whoo! [laughing.]
Whoa! [gasps.]
Wow! Guy? [grunts.]
Ugh! I thought you loved oatmush.
To eat.
- Which way now? - Mkay, let's see.
Follow me to freedom! Whoo-hoo! [narrator imitating Morgan Freeman.]
Sam and Guy crawled through five fuzzball fields off funk.
And they finally made their way out.
[in normal voice.]
Who'd have thunk? [groaning.]
Oh! [laughs.]
Oh, classic two-man job! [groans.]
- Smells like - Freedom? I was gonna say green eggs and ham, but yeah, that too.
[thunder crashes.]
Do you feel that rain, Guy? [Mr.
Jenkins squawking.]
That sweet, cleansing rain! - [squawking.]
- Yeah, I do.
It's wet.
Blech! We need to find a place to stay.
[pipe rumbling.]
Step 117, return to the bosom of my family if I can cheat death.
- [squeaking.]
- [chuckles.]
Such a happy little fella! Where does that pipe lead? Uh, due south.
[growls happily.]
Before splitting off in 17 different directions.
[chuckles nervously.]
There's no way to know which way they went.
Uh, they are, uh, completely lost.
Um [clears throat.]
Is he okay? Oh, I'm sorry.
Is aging against the law now? He's fine! I love the salt-and-blueberry look, sir.
Very distinguished.
I underestimated these two.
They're a couple of masterminds.
Kapoosh! Splishy splash.
Whoo! [gulping.]
I miss jail.
Hey, look! [thunder crashes.]
Shelter! People! Let's go say hi.
Uh, no.
Okay, we could also say, "Hello," "Sup," or, "What it do?" Sam, we are fugitives.
We have no idea who is in there.
Come on, a warm cabin.
You said it yourself: you're cold and wet.
Bet they have hot cocoa, just waiting for us.
[thunder rumbles.]
I hope they have marshmallows for the hot cocoa.
Do you think they use real chocolate? [slurps.]
Hot cocoa.
[thunder rumbles.]
There's no one like Sam for inspiring hope.
- [gasps.]
- [laughs.]
See how perfect this is? [narrator.]
But unfortunately this time, the answer was nope.
[thunder crashes.]
[thunder crashes.]
Hey, guitar player Mmm New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic