Gremlins: Secrets of the Mogwai (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

Always Buy a God a Drink First

This is Fengdong?
What a dung hole.
Sorry, Giz, but after all of us almost
dying to get here, I expected more.
Grandpa did call Fengdong
"the Ghost City."
And it's only
a quick stop on the way
to finding the key
to The Valley of Jade,
which is hopefully labeled
somewhere amongst all these ruins.
Aw, your dog caught
a scent.
Again, he's a mogwai,
not a dog.
And Gizmo,
you've been here before?
No clue what you just said,
but you said it with confidence.
So, lead on, Gizmo.
The fabled Ghost City
of Fengdong.
Off to it, my new
According to that old man
I swallowed,
the key to the Valley of Jade
is somewhere in this city's ruins.
We just need to find it.
Okay. But you don't see
the confusion?
You're named radish.
And he is a radish.
Right, because we're a family.
Well, we're here now, Gizmo.
What next?
Hello, I love you.
That is what
your kid siblings turned into?
Because they ate
after midnight?
Whoever made your rules
is so mean.
Why are they here?
How are they here?
Why are they so scaly?
Did they take the train
all the way from Shanghai?
I have so many questions.
And if they're here,
Greene might be here, too.
This is so many kinds of bad.
So, do we run at them
or away from them?
I only know how to hide.
- Oh, we're running away.
- For now.
If the mogwai rules so apply,
they'll have to leave at sun-up.
Right, Gizmo?
We should follow Gizmo.
He does seem to know where he's going.
We have done so many
stupid things to get this far.
What's one more?
Your kind
has been here before.
Any idea where I might
find this key?
Sam has Dad's notebook,
so maybe he's here too.
If only I could turn my head
to look and see.
I just want to move
my leg.
No, no, no, no.
I hate magic.
Um, Gizmo. Nice song, lovely melody.
But is this the time?
Fortunes! Get your fortunes here.
Oh! Bad omen.
You will die today.
No, Jade or valleys?
No, we're still
looking for the key to The Valley of Jade,
which I'm guessing
is hidden here.
I got keys.
Key to happiness,
key to wealth,
key to invulnerability.
Key to never feeling gross
when you eat too much.
Yeah, this place
isn't any less creepy than the last place.
You're telling me, doll.
The name's Theodora.
You're talking
outside my head.
Wow! Who's that?
Oh, pardon me.
I speak both tongues.
And the individual you seek is
as always at the tavern.
May I escort you there?
It's been a long time
since the spirit market has seen your kind.
You are a mogwai. Yes.
Beat it, fur coat.
I can spot a con anywhere.
Oh, no, I assure you,
my lip-licking is due to an unrelated disorder.
It is a mogwai!
What the large,
gentle creature said to you
Wants to eat our mogwai. Yes.
Got that from context clues. Thanks.
Don't just stand there!
Yikes! This place is a lot more intense
than my hole in the ground.
Get used to it, sonny.
Why, hello there, stranger.
What are you doing?
Haven't you ever been chased in the streets before?
Only once! By you!
Lesson one.
Make a mess.
Put me down!
Everything here talks?
Why wouldn't we?
Am I old enough to be in here?
Hey, pal,
it's not polite to stare.
How do you think
I lost my head?
No one messes
with my mogwai.
Thank you,
Gizmo's snake lady warrior friend.
I am Nuwa,
Goddess of Creation.
You don't smell like a goddess.
You are certain this is how my mogwai
opened the gate?
Again, sing
and with gusto this time.
Wait! One of you
screamed on key.
There you are!
You have a gift.
Use it. Or else.
Yes, yes!
Ah, ah, ah!
Humans first.
A bottle of baijiu.
My favorite fuzzy fella
is visiting.
How'd you even get here?
Is The Valley of Jade okay?
You've got
a human infestation?
These humans are with you?
As pets.
- Pets?
- Actually, we're Gizmo's friends.
Gizmo? Who's Gizmo?
- Your name is
- Gizmo!
Gizmo is close enough.
You always
were soft on their kind.
You can understand
Gizmo's words?
To hear the mogwai,
one has only to listen.
Also, I created all words.
Again, Goddess of Creation.
Cool. Then I'll skip
to the end.
We need to get to
The Valley of Jade.
Already with the favors!
Buy a god a drink first.
Speaking of Hmm.
Come on. We came all this way
so that you could go home.
Sam can help his family,
and I can rescue all that treasure I deserve.
She is right.
Why waste time
when we can resolve this quickly?
I'm not sending humans
to The Valley of Jade.
You guys ruin everything.
I'm still not over
what you did to lobsters.
How could you possibly think
it's supposed to be food?
The whole animal has, like,
two bites of meat,
which I hid inside a rock.
Then what did you create
lobsters for?
Um, I forget.
Now you, my dear mogwai,
of course I'll send you
back to the valley.
But never humans.
No, you should go, Gizmo.
Can't leave
without a hug, Giz.
Ruins everything.
That's what your wink meant?
Normally I detest
this world, but just this once
Oh, it was my bad omen.
I hate spoiled mogwai.
Your excitement
is understandable.
But remember, while in my employ,
you represent me.
So, decorum.
Ooh! That is not what I
Actually, drink up.
Only one way to learn
which potions are poison.
The rest of you,
find my mogwai!
That's Sam's "not a dog."
So, this is
your family business.
Three generations.
Um, new new friends?
We have to go
warn my old new friends.
Oh! You'll make a fine pendant.
what the creature is saying,
underneath its thick
third-coat-of-Hell regional accent,
is that he's only tiny
because the goddess, Nuwa,
caught him trying to eat a furry mogwai.
My mogwai and Goddess Nuwa.
And you gained the ability
to speak the Queen's English.
Well, technically, I drank
a potion that granted me the gift
of understanding
and speaking all languages,
but from your limited
lingual perspective, sure.
I am a fan of Nuwa's work,
but if she has my mogwai
Mr. Claw!
Oh! I simply assumed you're all
Um, never mind.
Miss Claw, I have a new task
for you and your kin.
Oh, when you run at
hopping vampires,
poor Gizmo races
into a Ghost City,
oh, all of a sudden
you're heroes.
- But when I rush into something
- Your wink was very confusing.
Go through the portal.
Are you kidding?
Because I invented humor.
And I am not finding this funny.
The only safe place for you anywhere
is The Valley of Jade.
So, now that I've
leashed up your pets
You would give up the valley
for these two?
You heard them yourself.
She's in it for treasure.
And he only cares
about his family.
Ah! Trust me, as their creator,
there is not more to them.
Humans are incredibly
shallow and selfish.
Maybe we are.
You know whose fault that is?
It's yours.
You don't think I blame myself
for humans?
For what they did to him?
To Gizmo?
What did people do to you?
Don't act like you don't know.
You really don't know?
Bartender, a fresh bottle.
Centuries ago,
after we made your world
you're welcome, by the way.
My brother, Fuxi and I
were arguing
about one species
Fuxi saw you as ants.
Amusing from afar.
But when they get too close,
a nuisance to be squashed.
But I saw humanity
as mostly good.
To see who was correct,
Fuxi and I came up with a test.
The Mogwai.
If humanity could preserve
the Mogwai,
it would prove that
they're ultimately good.
I created him,
while Fuxi crafted his rules
to make our test fair.
Never get him wet
never expose him
to bright light,
and never feed him
during the hours
when the moon is at
its highest point in the sky.
Of course humanity shortened
that last rule.
But more on
human stupidity in a moment.
The stakes were high.
The losing God
would quit creating life.
The city of Fengdong
was chosen to represent humanity.
We tasked them with the caring
for this gift from the gods
by obeying its three rules.
I was certain I would win.
How could anyone
ever hurt my mogwai?
I was wrong.
The humans
loved this mogwai so much
that they all wanted one,
so they broke one rule.
And the other two rules
soon followed,
not knowing Fuxi
had cursed the mogwai's spawn
to spend the first century of their lives
as destructive tricksters.
Soon, chaos blossomed
and people died.
So I stopped the test
before the rest of China
was destroyed.
I reverted the corrupted mogwai
to their original states
and brought them
to a new safe home
The Valley of Jade.
It was my last creation since, well,
since I bet on humanity
and lost.
I hung up my clay knife
and said goodbye.
Since I didn't want to hear
"I told you so" for eternity,
I've been avoiding my brother
in this tavern ever since.
Except one day a year
where I travel to Shanghai for dumplings.
So now that you know, tell me,
would you send dumb,
destructive humans to The Valley of Jade?
My dear, sweet, adorable,
"too kind-hearted for this or any world" mogwai,
stop it!
There is not one word
you can say that will make me
Wait. Is that
Did you dummies
break the rules?
Not all of them.
Of course. And, as always,
I'm the one who cleans up your mess.
Uh, you're going to
clean it up with rhythm?
Why isn't this working?
But who poisons a goddess?
Greetings, Goddess Nuwa!
And other mortals
of little importance.
Oh, no.
Anyone but him right now.
My associates
have you surrounded.
Hand over the mogwai
and I shall grant you safe passage,
as well as an antidote
to the poison in your veins.
Refuse and, If I may be blunt,
you will die!
Very intimidating delivery, sir.
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