Grounded For Life (2001) s04e11 Episode Script
313 - Been Caught Stealing
Yeah, that's right.
The cash register's completely empty.
Whoa! Whoa! What the hell happened here? We've been robbed.
They cleaned the whole place out.
Oh, my God.
Are you calling the cops? No.
I'm calling the robbers to congratulate them.
kidding me.
Come on.
Help us out here.
My father was on the force for 30 years! What the hell are you talking about? Shh-shh-shh! Okay, thanks.
Thank you.
We can never catch a break! Just when we were getting our heads above water.
Why couldn't they break in register was empty? You know what? This could be all right.
Ed, we built this place up from nothing before.
We can do it again.
Yeah.
You boys are gonna be fine.
Dad, don't do that.
The cops are coming.
I know, but you don't want the place to be all messy when they get here.
Whoa! Dad, hey! This is all evidence.
And I'm putting the evidence in a neat pile for them.
They said, "Don't touch anything.
" Oh, God, look at this! What kind of animal would do this to a defenseless jukebox? You gotta get inside their criminal minds, Sean.
Those guys are sending us a message.
We trashed the place and took all of their money.
What else can we do? Let's take the music from their lives.
[shattering glass.]
Those bastards! Whoa! What happened? We were robbed.
Oh.
Dad, we're gonna go to the mall.
Can I have some money? Did you just not hear me? We were robbed.
Okay.
I'll just take We don't have any money! Well, let me borrow your credit card.
Why don't I just bust open the pinball machine and you can take that? I don't want $30 in quarters! Come on, Brad.
Dad, what are you doing? It's filthy with smudges! They're called fingerprints! Hey, hey, guys.
Is this a setback? Yeah, sure.
But we're Finnertys.
And Finnertys never quit, right? Okay.
I'll take the quarters.
See? ** [theme.]
Your eyes are incredibly brown.
Shut up.
No, I'm serious.
They're like a beautiful brown ocean.
A brown ocean is nasty.
Henry, get out of here.
Sorry.
Oh, jeez.
Get a room.
Wait.
Scratch that.
Never mind.
Don't get a room.
Stay here, play Monopoly.
Whatever--whatever you do, just don't--don't get that room, okay? All right, let's think.
Who was in the bar last night at closing? There was Jeff and Ray, and Ray's girlfriend, uh What are you doing? [beeps.]
I'm imprinting the suspect's name into my LaunchLink.
Your what? My LaunchLink.
You gotta get one of these.
I type in the names, then I email them to myself, then later on, I can download them and print them out.
Oh, wow.
So it's like a really, really expensive pencil.
[chuckles.]
Ha ha! You made Dad laugh, Sean.
Ha ha! What does that tell you? Hi, guys.
What's going on? Hey, baby.
The bar got robbed last night.
My God, is everybody okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all fine.
It was after everybody left.
Yeah, and all the cops did was fill out the report and leave.
Oh, but don't worry.
Eddie's on the case.
He's fighting crime, and crime doesn't stand a chance.
How was your trip to hell? Cool.
Do you golf? Yeah.
How do you pay for the golf? My Visa.
Stop lying! Give us back the money! How are you doing today? Fine.
You're fine because you got all our money.
No.
I--I--I--I didn't steal your money.
You know what I hate more than a liar? A thief? Yeah.
And racists! You like boating, Ned? Yeah.
You like tennis? Yeah.
You like stealing from your employer? No.
So, Ron, when you delivered the kegs yesterday, you didn't notice anybody suspicious hanging around? No.
Nobody back in the alley? No.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Reggie, just tell me what I want to hear.
I can't, man.
Just tell me, and you can go home.
You promise? Yeah.
Okay.
I did it! I did it! I knew it! No! He didn't! You were in Hilton Head, South Carolina.
I picked you up from the airport this morning.
Sean, I just want to go home.
Don't leave town! He just got back into town! Okay.
You may not approve of my methods, but you can't argue with the results.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I mean, he's got confessions from 4 people so far.
Too bad none of them did it.
How much did they get? I don't know.
Like 1,500 bucks.
[Claudia.]
Whoa! Yeah.
We finally start making some money, and some low-life takes it from us.
You know what? I'm gonna write you a check.
Dad, you don't have to do that.
Oh, I insist.
I've got it, and I want you to have it.
Dad, you've got more important things to spend your money on.
Yeah.
Like your new lady friend.
Walt's got a new lady friend? Oh, he sure does.
[samba music playing.]
Hello.
Hi.
I'm looking for a man who likes to s-s-s-samba! I actually don't know how to-- I'll lead.
Okay.
Wow.
It wasn't like that.
Come on, Dad.
She was all up in your stuff.
Stop it! I don't even know where my stuff is.
[beeps.]
Is that a LaunchLink? Yeah.
It's great.
How can you afford to buy that? How can I afford not to buy this? It's got stock quotes, sports scores [beeps.]
Well, someone just sent me an email.
Oh.
Who is it from? Apparently someone's offering me discount Viagra.
Do you want it, Papa? Oh! Leave me alone! Ew! What? You guys are all over each other all the time.
It's gross.
Please, this is nothing! I watched you and Brad go at it on this couch for like 6 hours one day.
Dude, dude! Check out my new pants.
Oh, God.
Not the pants again.
Wait, wait, wait.
Check me out, all right? I'm walking down the street on a chilly day, right? Whoa! Wait a minute.
It's getting warm out.
I'm uncomfortable in these long pants.
[velcro rips.]
Yeah! They're shorts! Once again, I'm perfectly adapted to my enviroment.
Please don't ever do that in public.
But that's the beauty of the pants, Lil.
I was gonna wear them to the carnival tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
About that, we're going to Aunt Deirdre's.
What? Aunt Deirdre's? Yes.
She called this morning, and she wants us to bring pie.
That's cool.
Just give me a call when you get back.
Whoo! It's chilly outside.
Better put my pants back on.
Uhh! Well, Lily, it was awfully sweet of Aunt Deirdre to call us all the way from dead.
[groans.]
I know, I know.
It was a stupid lie, but I can't go with Brad tomorrow.
Sweetie, I'm sure if you ask him, he will wear other pants.
It's not just the pants, Mom.
Today we went to the mall, and things got complicated.
See? This one's cool.
It's got a vintage look.
Check this one out.
It's shiny.
It's tacky.
Don't worry.
I can pull it off.
No, you can't! Please, just try some of these cool shirts for me.
Fine.
Let me see if this is my size.
Uhh! Hey.
Hey.
Can I ask you something? Sure.
What do you think about this jacket? I love it.
You think it looks okay with these pants? Mm-hmm.
Well, what about jeans? Dark jeans or light jeans? Dark, definitely.
I don't think I've worn light jeans, like, forever.
Ha ha ha! Me neither.
They're so '90s.
Well, maybe I'll wear my jeans back here tomorrow and see how it looks.
That's a great idea.
Maybe I'll see you here tomorrow, then.
Uhyes.
Yes, I will be here.
I'll check you later.
Check ya laterskater.
How do you like me now? Ooh! Ooh-ooh-ooh! Uhh! Yeah! Uhh! Uh-uh-uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh-uh uh-uh! Mom, he wants me to meet him there tomorrow, and you don't understand-- he was so cool.
And so hot.
[giggles.]
He sounds pretty hot.
And possibly pretty gay.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No way.
This guy was totally straight.
No question.
And what about Brad? Well, this has nothing to do with Brad.
This is about me exploring all my options.
Oh, yes.
Exploring.
Exactly! It's just--it's a fact-finding mission.
Hmm.
I won't even touch the guy probably.
I mean, it wouldn't be fair to Brad if he were stuck with me and I was destined to be with somebody else.
So you're actually doing this for Brad.
Yes! Well, sweetie, I hope Brad cares enough to do the same for you.
That's not funny, Mom.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks, officer.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Well, the police still have no leads whatsoever.
Wow, that's frustrating.
You said that there was no sign of forced entry, right? Yeah.
Which means that whoever did it had access to the bar.
Yeah, that's right, but who? Do you know how much those LaunchLinks cost? Whoa! Whoa, you think Eddie did this? They're $500, Sean.
Where does he get money like that? Oh, no way, baby! He's my brother! And he's my partner! Why would he steal half of what's his? Uh, I don't know.
To make it all his? No.
No! No way! Okay, maybe he spent on one extravagance, but he did not steal the money from the bar! How long is the flight to St.
Thomas? Would I be uncomfortable in coach? You're going to St.
Thomas? Yeah.
I can book my airline tickets on this thing.
Do I want a rental car? Yes, I do want a rental car.
You did it! You! You stole the money from the bar! What? You don't deny it! I do deny it.
What are you talking about, Sean? We're both victims here.
Take it easy.
Yeah, but one of us victims has all the money.
Just calm down.
Calm down? Baby, you were right! Ed is the only one who could have done it! Oh, thanks a lot, Claudia.
I just said it was a possibility.
Well, I think Sean's a possibility.
How about that? Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well, who's buying tickets to the Virgin Islands? Well, who bought a coffee pot? Oh, my--you are a thief and a liar! Okay.
I'm out of here.
Good.
Bye-bye.
I mean it.
I'm gonna leave.
Well, less talk and more walk.
Okay, that's it.
That's it.
All right.
Yeah? Yeah? Well, have fun spending my money! Oh, I will! Oh, so you admit it! No.
I just said that out of anger.
[door slams.]
Jimmy, get off her! [thud.]
Dad, I miss Uncle Eddie.
Well, Henry, Uncle Eddie's not gonna be coming around for a while.
But you always tell me and Jimmy that brothers should love and forgive each other.
I know, I know.
Henry, it's complicated.
For crying out loud, Dad.
How long do you plan on holding this cockamamie grudge? I got it.
Dad! Henry, I told you you could paraphrase.
Dad, quit taking Eddie's side on this thing.
I don't take sides when it comes to my sons.
Well, you should, and it should be my side, because Eddie ripped me off! It all makes sense.
So, they just broke in and cleaned out the whole place.
We're both victims.
That's good.
What kind of animal would smash a defenseless jukebox? [shattering glass.]
He wouldn't have done it.
He would, and he did.
At least invite him over so you can apologize for what you said.
Dad, what part of that is "at least"? I'll give you the money.
Then you two can make up.
No, Dad.
I will not apologize to Eddie, ever.
And I cannot have him back in my house.
[doorbell rings.]
[Henry.]
Hey, Uncle Eddie's here! Okay, I invited him over so you could apologize.
Dad Seanie, please.
You two are the only family I've got! I can't stand to see you fight like this.
No! Sean.
Ed.
I'll leave you two alone.
Afterwards, steak dinners for everybody on me! Yum? Okay.
I'm going.
All right, Sean.
Whenever you want.
What? My apology.
I'm ready to hear it.
Okay, I'm really sorry that I'm so mad 'cause you stole my money.
That's not a sincere apology.
Oh, okay.
You're right.
I sincerely apologize that I'm pissed because someone broke into our bar, trashed the place and smashed the jukebox, and that someone was you! All right.
I came over here because I was told that you were gonna apol-- [LaunchLink ringing.]
hold on for a second.
Hello.
Yeah.
How expensive is it? Oh, what? That thing's a phone, too? Yeah.
Well, make it the-- the leather one.
[hangs up.]
How much did that thing cost? Enough! Well, I want half of it! What, are you gonna snap it in two? Oh, wow.
Hey, look.
I'm 63 feet above sea level.
Cool.
Oh, whoa! I'm 66! You're right.
This thing is indispensable.
Are Jimmy and that girl at it again today? Yeah.
It's gross.
I'm glad it's not me.
Why? I don't want to kiss Jimmy.
Oh.
Hi, Walt.
You're looking spiffy.
Are those new pants? What? Can't a grown man buy new pants? Sure.
His girlfriend can take him shopping.
* Grandpa's got a girlfriend * Stop it! * Grandpa's got a girlfriend * Stop that! Hey, Lil, how'd it go at the mall? I don't want to talk about it.
He didn't show? If only he hadn't.
Hey.
Hey.
You're here.
Great.
[laughs.]
Told you I would be.
Ooh, here's that jacket.
Thank you.
[clears throat.]
So, how does it look? It goes great.
Good.
Maybe I'll wear it out tonight, then.
Oh, really? Where's out? Dinner.
Maybe a movie.
That sounds great.
So So Do you wanna Yes? ring this up? He thought I worked there.
[laughs.]
Stop laughing! I'm not laughing.
[laughs.]
Oh, come on.
You have to admit, it-- So, what did you do? What could I do? Will that be cash or charge? Uh, cash.
Okay.
[beeps.]
Ahem! Hey! Get away from there.
Stop trying to steal my commissionLydia.
[long beep.]
I'm going on my break.
Come on, Lil, I know you're embarrassed, but I think maybe you realize something.
You have a really good thing going with Brad.
Yeah.
He's really sweet.
He is.
And let's face it, you're gonna have a really hard time finding another guy who's as big a dork as you.
You are not a nice woman.
[laughs.]
per week that you mooched off me, times 52.
And that brings a grand total of Wait a second.
How do you total this thing up? I don't know.
You're entering into the datebook.
All right.
Forget it, then, all right? Let's just say 10 grand and we call it even.
How about you get out of my face? How about you get out of my house? How about you get out of my life? Gladly! Stop it! Stop it, the both of you! It wasn't Eddie.
Oh, yeah, Dad.
It couldn't be Eddie.
He's my brother.
He'd never stoop to that level.
No! I know he didn't do it! 'Cause it was me.
What do you say you and I go a little crazy? [samba music playing.]
Well, I guess I could go medium crazy.
Ha ha! Walt Uhh! let down your hair, Walt.
Uhh! Uhh! Maybe this will loosen you up.
Oh! Sh--sh--should I get a blanket or something? I don't think I could do this standing up.
No.
Not just yet.
First, there's a little something I want to show you.
I picked this up from my stay in Guam.
Well, I guess Guam is a U.
S.
territory.
Whoa! Louise, what are you doing? You should put that back.
Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh! But-- This was fun, Walt.
Louise, I-- Say ta-ta, Walt.
But--Louise! Bye-bye! No! I don't want to play anymore! Say bye-bye! But--but--but-- Whoa! I mean, you know, these things happen.
I've never been so ashamed.
How did the place get all smashed up? Well [grunts.]
[shattering glass.]
Uhh! Aah! [clatter.]
[samba music playing.]
And you, shut up! [shattering glass, grunting.]
Uhh! [jukebox music dying.]
I'm sorry, boys.
Your dad's a pervert.
Oh, come on, Dad.
You're not a pervert.
You are perverted.
Yeah, it's all right.
You're retired.
You need a hobby.
Okay.
Now that I've been utterly humiliated, apologize, Sean.
You're right.
Ed, I'm sorry.
All right.
It's a little late, but I'll take it.
Wow.
You guys are being civil.
Hey, Claudia, guess what? Eddie didn't do it.
What? "What?" I didn't do it! You know, I'm sorry.
I don't even know why I listened to her in the first place.
Me? I was throwing out ideas! That's all I was-- Claudia, don't you think you've done enough? Huh? Hey, Dad, how about those steaks? Sounds good.
Just wait a minute.
If Eddie didn't do it, who did it? Well, the cops say it was some punk teenager.
Oh, man! Teenagers! They have no respect! It's okay.
This guy is very ashamed.
Very, very.
Well Eddie, I guess I I really owe you an apology.
Yeah.
You do.
I know.
That's what I was just saying.
All right.
And I'm agreeing with you.
Okay.
Would you just be gracious about it? I forgive you.
I do.
How about a hug? No! Ooh! Brad, thanks for coming over! Oh! I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt Deirdre.
Oh, yeah.
You know, a long, happy life.
Blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
I got you something.
Oh, my God! You got me the shirt! Yeah.
Awww! I thought you'd like it.
Oh, you know me so well.
Check 'em out.
Been there done that! Hey, Jimmy, your girlfriend's kind of cute.
Oh, thanks.
You and Lily seem to be getting along well.
Oh, yeah.
We should all hang out sometime.
Yeah.
That would be cool.
Enjoy it while you can, boys, 'cause you know how it ends? What do you mean? Sooner or later, she'll cuff you to a bar and steal your pants.
It's a figure of speech.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA
The cash register's completely empty.
Whoa! Whoa! What the hell happened here? We've been robbed.
They cleaned the whole place out.
Oh, my God.
Are you calling the cops? No.
I'm calling the robbers to congratulate them.
kidding me.
Come on.
Help us out here.
My father was on the force for 30 years! What the hell are you talking about? Shh-shh-shh! Okay, thanks.
Thank you.
We can never catch a break! Just when we were getting our heads above water.
Why couldn't they break in register was empty? You know what? This could be all right.
Ed, we built this place up from nothing before.
We can do it again.
Yeah.
You boys are gonna be fine.
Dad, don't do that.
The cops are coming.
I know, but you don't want the place to be all messy when they get here.
Whoa! Dad, hey! This is all evidence.
And I'm putting the evidence in a neat pile for them.
They said, "Don't touch anything.
" Oh, God, look at this! What kind of animal would do this to a defenseless jukebox? You gotta get inside their criminal minds, Sean.
Those guys are sending us a message.
We trashed the place and took all of their money.
What else can we do? Let's take the music from their lives.
[shattering glass.]
Those bastards! Whoa! What happened? We were robbed.
Oh.
Dad, we're gonna go to the mall.
Can I have some money? Did you just not hear me? We were robbed.
Okay.
I'll just take We don't have any money! Well, let me borrow your credit card.
Why don't I just bust open the pinball machine and you can take that? I don't want $30 in quarters! Come on, Brad.
Dad, what are you doing? It's filthy with smudges! They're called fingerprints! Hey, hey, guys.
Is this a setback? Yeah, sure.
But we're Finnertys.
And Finnertys never quit, right? Okay.
I'll take the quarters.
See? ** [theme.]
Your eyes are incredibly brown.
Shut up.
No, I'm serious.
They're like a beautiful brown ocean.
A brown ocean is nasty.
Henry, get out of here.
Sorry.
Oh, jeez.
Get a room.
Wait.
Scratch that.
Never mind.
Don't get a room.
Stay here, play Monopoly.
Whatever--whatever you do, just don't--don't get that room, okay? All right, let's think.
Who was in the bar last night at closing? There was Jeff and Ray, and Ray's girlfriend, uh What are you doing? [beeps.]
I'm imprinting the suspect's name into my LaunchLink.
Your what? My LaunchLink.
You gotta get one of these.
I type in the names, then I email them to myself, then later on, I can download them and print them out.
Oh, wow.
So it's like a really, really expensive pencil.
[chuckles.]
Ha ha! You made Dad laugh, Sean.
Ha ha! What does that tell you? Hi, guys.
What's going on? Hey, baby.
The bar got robbed last night.
My God, is everybody okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all fine.
It was after everybody left.
Yeah, and all the cops did was fill out the report and leave.
Oh, but don't worry.
Eddie's on the case.
He's fighting crime, and crime doesn't stand a chance.
How was your trip to hell? Cool.
Do you golf? Yeah.
How do you pay for the golf? My Visa.
Stop lying! Give us back the money! How are you doing today? Fine.
You're fine because you got all our money.
No.
I--I--I--I didn't steal your money.
You know what I hate more than a liar? A thief? Yeah.
And racists! You like boating, Ned? Yeah.
You like tennis? Yeah.
You like stealing from your employer? No.
So, Ron, when you delivered the kegs yesterday, you didn't notice anybody suspicious hanging around? No.
Nobody back in the alley? No.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Reggie, just tell me what I want to hear.
I can't, man.
Just tell me, and you can go home.
You promise? Yeah.
Okay.
I did it! I did it! I knew it! No! He didn't! You were in Hilton Head, South Carolina.
I picked you up from the airport this morning.
Sean, I just want to go home.
Don't leave town! He just got back into town! Okay.
You may not approve of my methods, but you can't argue with the results.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I mean, he's got confessions from 4 people so far.
Too bad none of them did it.
How much did they get? I don't know.
Like 1,500 bucks.
[Claudia.]
Whoa! Yeah.
We finally start making some money, and some low-life takes it from us.
You know what? I'm gonna write you a check.
Dad, you don't have to do that.
Oh, I insist.
I've got it, and I want you to have it.
Dad, you've got more important things to spend your money on.
Yeah.
Like your new lady friend.
Walt's got a new lady friend? Oh, he sure does.
[samba music playing.]
Hello.
Hi.
I'm looking for a man who likes to s-s-s-samba! I actually don't know how to-- I'll lead.
Okay.
Wow.
It wasn't like that.
Come on, Dad.
She was all up in your stuff.
Stop it! I don't even know where my stuff is.
[beeps.]
Is that a LaunchLink? Yeah.
It's great.
How can you afford to buy that? How can I afford not to buy this? It's got stock quotes, sports scores [beeps.]
Well, someone just sent me an email.
Oh.
Who is it from? Apparently someone's offering me discount Viagra.
Do you want it, Papa? Oh! Leave me alone! Ew! What? You guys are all over each other all the time.
It's gross.
Please, this is nothing! I watched you and Brad go at it on this couch for like 6 hours one day.
Dude, dude! Check out my new pants.
Oh, God.
Not the pants again.
Wait, wait, wait.
Check me out, all right? I'm walking down the street on a chilly day, right? Whoa! Wait a minute.
It's getting warm out.
I'm uncomfortable in these long pants.
[velcro rips.]
Yeah! They're shorts! Once again, I'm perfectly adapted to my enviroment.
Please don't ever do that in public.
But that's the beauty of the pants, Lil.
I was gonna wear them to the carnival tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
About that, we're going to Aunt Deirdre's.
What? Aunt Deirdre's? Yes.
She called this morning, and she wants us to bring pie.
That's cool.
Just give me a call when you get back.
Whoo! It's chilly outside.
Better put my pants back on.
Uhh! Well, Lily, it was awfully sweet of Aunt Deirdre to call us all the way from dead.
[groans.]
I know, I know.
It was a stupid lie, but I can't go with Brad tomorrow.
Sweetie, I'm sure if you ask him, he will wear other pants.
It's not just the pants, Mom.
Today we went to the mall, and things got complicated.
See? This one's cool.
It's got a vintage look.
Check this one out.
It's shiny.
It's tacky.
Don't worry.
I can pull it off.
No, you can't! Please, just try some of these cool shirts for me.
Fine.
Let me see if this is my size.
Uhh! Hey.
Hey.
Can I ask you something? Sure.
What do you think about this jacket? I love it.
You think it looks okay with these pants? Mm-hmm.
Well, what about jeans? Dark jeans or light jeans? Dark, definitely.
I don't think I've worn light jeans, like, forever.
Ha ha ha! Me neither.
They're so '90s.
Well, maybe I'll wear my jeans back here tomorrow and see how it looks.
That's a great idea.
Maybe I'll see you here tomorrow, then.
Uhyes.
Yes, I will be here.
I'll check you later.
Check ya laterskater.
How do you like me now? Ooh! Ooh-ooh-ooh! Uhh! Yeah! Uhh! Uh-uh-uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh-uh uh-uh! Mom, he wants me to meet him there tomorrow, and you don't understand-- he was so cool.
And so hot.
[giggles.]
He sounds pretty hot.
And possibly pretty gay.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No way.
This guy was totally straight.
No question.
And what about Brad? Well, this has nothing to do with Brad.
This is about me exploring all my options.
Oh, yes.
Exploring.
Exactly! It's just--it's a fact-finding mission.
Hmm.
I won't even touch the guy probably.
I mean, it wouldn't be fair to Brad if he were stuck with me and I was destined to be with somebody else.
So you're actually doing this for Brad.
Yes! Well, sweetie, I hope Brad cares enough to do the same for you.
That's not funny, Mom.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks, officer.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Well, the police still have no leads whatsoever.
Wow, that's frustrating.
You said that there was no sign of forced entry, right? Yeah.
Which means that whoever did it had access to the bar.
Yeah, that's right, but who? Do you know how much those LaunchLinks cost? Whoa! Whoa, you think Eddie did this? They're $500, Sean.
Where does he get money like that? Oh, no way, baby! He's my brother! And he's my partner! Why would he steal half of what's his? Uh, I don't know.
To make it all his? No.
No! No way! Okay, maybe he spent on one extravagance, but he did not steal the money from the bar! How long is the flight to St.
Thomas? Would I be uncomfortable in coach? You're going to St.
Thomas? Yeah.
I can book my airline tickets on this thing.
Do I want a rental car? Yes, I do want a rental car.
You did it! You! You stole the money from the bar! What? You don't deny it! I do deny it.
What are you talking about, Sean? We're both victims here.
Take it easy.
Yeah, but one of us victims has all the money.
Just calm down.
Calm down? Baby, you were right! Ed is the only one who could have done it! Oh, thanks a lot, Claudia.
I just said it was a possibility.
Well, I think Sean's a possibility.
How about that? Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well, who's buying tickets to the Virgin Islands? Well, who bought a coffee pot? Oh, my--you are a thief and a liar! Okay.
I'm out of here.
Good.
Bye-bye.
I mean it.
I'm gonna leave.
Well, less talk and more walk.
Okay, that's it.
That's it.
All right.
Yeah? Yeah? Well, have fun spending my money! Oh, I will! Oh, so you admit it! No.
I just said that out of anger.
[door slams.]
Jimmy, get off her! [thud.]
Dad, I miss Uncle Eddie.
Well, Henry, Uncle Eddie's not gonna be coming around for a while.
But you always tell me and Jimmy that brothers should love and forgive each other.
I know, I know.
Henry, it's complicated.
For crying out loud, Dad.
How long do you plan on holding this cockamamie grudge? I got it.
Dad! Henry, I told you you could paraphrase.
Dad, quit taking Eddie's side on this thing.
I don't take sides when it comes to my sons.
Well, you should, and it should be my side, because Eddie ripped me off! It all makes sense.
So, they just broke in and cleaned out the whole place.
We're both victims.
That's good.
What kind of animal would smash a defenseless jukebox? [shattering glass.]
He wouldn't have done it.
He would, and he did.
At least invite him over so you can apologize for what you said.
Dad, what part of that is "at least"? I'll give you the money.
Then you two can make up.
No, Dad.
I will not apologize to Eddie, ever.
And I cannot have him back in my house.
[doorbell rings.]
[Henry.]
Hey, Uncle Eddie's here! Okay, I invited him over so you could apologize.
Dad Seanie, please.
You two are the only family I've got! I can't stand to see you fight like this.
No! Sean.
Ed.
I'll leave you two alone.
Afterwards, steak dinners for everybody on me! Yum? Okay.
I'm going.
All right, Sean.
Whenever you want.
What? My apology.
I'm ready to hear it.
Okay, I'm really sorry that I'm so mad 'cause you stole my money.
That's not a sincere apology.
Oh, okay.
You're right.
I sincerely apologize that I'm pissed because someone broke into our bar, trashed the place and smashed the jukebox, and that someone was you! All right.
I came over here because I was told that you were gonna apol-- [LaunchLink ringing.]
hold on for a second.
Hello.
Yeah.
How expensive is it? Oh, what? That thing's a phone, too? Yeah.
Well, make it the-- the leather one.
[hangs up.]
How much did that thing cost? Enough! Well, I want half of it! What, are you gonna snap it in two? Oh, wow.
Hey, look.
I'm 63 feet above sea level.
Cool.
Oh, whoa! I'm 66! You're right.
This thing is indispensable.
Are Jimmy and that girl at it again today? Yeah.
It's gross.
I'm glad it's not me.
Why? I don't want to kiss Jimmy.
Oh.
Hi, Walt.
You're looking spiffy.
Are those new pants? What? Can't a grown man buy new pants? Sure.
His girlfriend can take him shopping.
* Grandpa's got a girlfriend * Stop it! * Grandpa's got a girlfriend * Stop that! Hey, Lil, how'd it go at the mall? I don't want to talk about it.
He didn't show? If only he hadn't.
Hey.
Hey.
You're here.
Great.
[laughs.]
Told you I would be.
Ooh, here's that jacket.
Thank you.
[clears throat.]
So, how does it look? It goes great.
Good.
Maybe I'll wear it out tonight, then.
Oh, really? Where's out? Dinner.
Maybe a movie.
That sounds great.
So So Do you wanna Yes? ring this up? He thought I worked there.
[laughs.]
Stop laughing! I'm not laughing.
[laughs.]
Oh, come on.
You have to admit, it-- So, what did you do? What could I do? Will that be cash or charge? Uh, cash.
Okay.
[beeps.]
Ahem! Hey! Get away from there.
Stop trying to steal my commissionLydia.
[long beep.]
I'm going on my break.
Come on, Lil, I know you're embarrassed, but I think maybe you realize something.
You have a really good thing going with Brad.
Yeah.
He's really sweet.
He is.
And let's face it, you're gonna have a really hard time finding another guy who's as big a dork as you.
You are not a nice woman.
[laughs.]
per week that you mooched off me, times 52.
And that brings a grand total of Wait a second.
How do you total this thing up? I don't know.
You're entering into the datebook.
All right.
Forget it, then, all right? Let's just say 10 grand and we call it even.
How about you get out of my face? How about you get out of my house? How about you get out of my life? Gladly! Stop it! Stop it, the both of you! It wasn't Eddie.
Oh, yeah, Dad.
It couldn't be Eddie.
He's my brother.
He'd never stoop to that level.
No! I know he didn't do it! 'Cause it was me.
What do you say you and I go a little crazy? [samba music playing.]
Well, I guess I could go medium crazy.
Ha ha! Walt Uhh! let down your hair, Walt.
Uhh! Uhh! Maybe this will loosen you up.
Oh! Sh--sh--should I get a blanket or something? I don't think I could do this standing up.
No.
Not just yet.
First, there's a little something I want to show you.
I picked this up from my stay in Guam.
Well, I guess Guam is a U.
S.
territory.
Whoa! Louise, what are you doing? You should put that back.
Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh! But-- This was fun, Walt.
Louise, I-- Say ta-ta, Walt.
But--Louise! Bye-bye! No! I don't want to play anymore! Say bye-bye! But--but--but-- Whoa! I mean, you know, these things happen.
I've never been so ashamed.
How did the place get all smashed up? Well [grunts.]
[shattering glass.]
Uhh! Aah! [clatter.]
[samba music playing.]
And you, shut up! [shattering glass, grunting.]
Uhh! [jukebox music dying.]
I'm sorry, boys.
Your dad's a pervert.
Oh, come on, Dad.
You're not a pervert.
You are perverted.
Yeah, it's all right.
You're retired.
You need a hobby.
Okay.
Now that I've been utterly humiliated, apologize, Sean.
You're right.
Ed, I'm sorry.
All right.
It's a little late, but I'll take it.
Wow.
You guys are being civil.
Hey, Claudia, guess what? Eddie didn't do it.
What? "What?" I didn't do it! You know, I'm sorry.
I don't even know why I listened to her in the first place.
Me? I was throwing out ideas! That's all I was-- Claudia, don't you think you've done enough? Huh? Hey, Dad, how about those steaks? Sounds good.
Just wait a minute.
If Eddie didn't do it, who did it? Well, the cops say it was some punk teenager.
Oh, man! Teenagers! They have no respect! It's okay.
This guy is very ashamed.
Very, very.
Well Eddie, I guess I I really owe you an apology.
Yeah.
You do.
I know.
That's what I was just saying.
All right.
And I'm agreeing with you.
Okay.
Would you just be gracious about it? I forgive you.
I do.
How about a hug? No! Ooh! Brad, thanks for coming over! Oh! I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt Deirdre.
Oh, yeah.
You know, a long, happy life.
Blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
I got you something.
Oh, my God! You got me the shirt! Yeah.
Awww! I thought you'd like it.
Oh, you know me so well.
Check 'em out.
Been there done that! Hey, Jimmy, your girlfriend's kind of cute.
Oh, thanks.
You and Lily seem to be getting along well.
Oh, yeah.
We should all hang out sometime.
Yeah.
That would be cool.
Enjoy it while you can, boys, 'cause you know how it ends? What do you mean? Sooner or later, she'll cuff you to a bar and steal your pants.
It's a figure of speech.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA