Grounded For Life (2001) s04e12 Episode Script

Excuse me.
Oh, I'm gonna need to see some ID.
Who are you? Who are you? I'm Sean Finnerty.
I own this bar.
You're not on the list.
This is ridiculous.
Hey! Oh, God! Okay.
Okay.
Eddie! Eddie! Oh, hey, hey.
He's cool.
He's cool.
Go ahead, sir.
What the hell's going on? That's Raul.
He's our new bouncer.
What do we need a bouncer for? Crowd control.
Okay, Ed, no.
No, you can't do this.
You can't just go hire people without consulting me first, okay? I own half this bar.
You go around making a lot of decisions without consulting me, okay? Like yesterday.
Oh, you mean when I ordered more beer 'cause we ran out? Yeah, that's right.
What if I had wanted to go a different way? [phone ringing.]
Red Boot.
Hey, Sean, what time-- Tell him I can't do it.
Will you hold on a second? [shouts.]
I can't do it! Honey, I need you to watch the boys tonight.
Come on, Mom.
I don't need a babysitter.
I'll baby-sit Jimmy.
Oh, no, baby, tonight's no good.
The Sex Pistols are playing over at Roseland.
Well, I'm sorry, honey, but I'm meeting my study group tonight.
God, baby, did you hear me? The Sex Pistols! You cannot ask me to miss the band that killed disco.
Look, I hate disco as much as you do, babe, but I don't know what else to do.
God, why--why can't you just study at home? I've already tried that.
Wait, wait! Let me get a pen.
Ow! Oh! What? I'm trying to study.
Mom, I'm on the phone.
[door opens.]
Oh, man! Oh, man! You idiot, what were you thinking? You did it too.
But I didn't light mine.
Guys, I'm trying to study.
[pounding on door.]
[Man.]
I know you're in there! Crap! Honey, just--just give me five minutes.
I only need two.
Claudia, please do not ask me to miss this concert, okay? I promised myself if I ever had the chance to see the Sex Pistols again, I would not pass out this time.
Look, I think there are more important things in life then having Johnny Rotten spit on you.
Wow.
I don't even know who you are anymore.
I am a college student, Sean.
What do you want me to do, leave the boys alone? Uh, okay.
Come on.
It's not "the boys", it's a boy, and a teenager, all right? I don't need a babysitter anymore.
This is humiliating.
Sounds like somebody needs a nap.
Come on, Sean, this is a really big test.
I mean, you knew when I started college there were gonna be sacrifices.
I know, I know that we would have to make sacrifices.
Yes, because my education is important.
I know, but can't Lily watch the boys? I don't know.
Let me ask her.
No, no, no, no.
Lily, can you watch the boys tonight? No, no, no! I don't think she can.
Brad and I have a science project due tomorrow.
It's due tomorrow! Sorry, babe.
'Kay.
Okay, babe.
Oh, okay, baby.
Baby, I gotta go.
Uh, Eddie Uh, Eddie! [sports on television.]
Honey, I'm--I'm sorry.
Would you mind turning the game down just a little bit? Okay.
Just a little bit more.
Little more.
Baby, I can hardly hear it.
Well, why don't you put on the closed caption? I don't want to read.
Honey, I'm sorry, I just have a lot of stuff to learn before my exam.
All right.
[apple crunches.]
[laughs.]
Honey, come on.
The chewing? Oh, God.
You know, I'm just gonna go chew in the kitchen where a man can let loose.
God.
Uh, excuse me, what are you doing here? Hey, just go on about your business.
Looks okay in here, boss.
Eddie, why are you sneaking through the back door with the bouncer? Just horsing around.
Playing a game with the kids.
You're it.
What? Tag.
You're it.
Raoul, chase him.
Oh, please don't hurt me! Hey, hey! Hey! God, what--why? Why? Why is that guy here and not over at the bar? All right, all right.
Because he's not a bouncer.
He's a bodyguard.
What are you doing with a bodyguard? It's complicated.
You know my friend Stan, with the beach house in Jersey, he took us to that Knicks game? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Nice guy.
The other night he chased me down the street with a hatchet.
What? Why? We were arguing about money.
And he says, "Eddie, you owe me two grand.
" I said, "Stan, what's with the hatchet?" Look, wait, wait.
You're gonna live like this forever? Well, I'm working to resolve the situation.
Okay, just do it fast, all right? I don't feel comfortable with my kids playing with your stupid bodygu-- Oh, sorry, sir, I was talking about someone else.
Hey, Lil, how was school? Great.
Great? How can it be great? I've been giving you the silent treatment.
Really? Yeah, I've been doing it all day.
How could you not notice? I don't know, you were being so quiet.
That's the point of the silent treatment.
Okay, does the silent treatment have to be so loud? I'm sorry, Mrs.
Finnerty.
Okay, what's going on, guys? Well, my lab partner and I had a paper due today on the structure of DNA.
I know, that's why she had to go study at the college library last night.
Which I did.
Yeah, for a nanosecond.
[pen tapping.]
Okay, on page four, I think we should use a diagram showing polypeptide bonds.
Yeah, that'll jazz it up.
[phone ringing.]
Hello? Hey, Sarah.
No, I can talk.
I'm at the college library.
[in unison.]
Shh! Sorry.
Where are you? Seriously? Which dorm is it? No, no, that sounds like so much fun, but I have to write my dumb paper.
[in unison.]
Shh! [shouting.]
I said I have to write my dumb paper.
Shut up! Shh! Okay, I gotta go.
Some people are being very rude.
[in unison.]
Shh! All righty.
Ribonucleic acid.
Ribonucleic.
Ribo, ribo, ribo.
Ribo! Brad, can we take a quick study break? ** [rock.]
Lily, listen, I can't do this.
Okay, that paper's due tomorrow and I'm gonna go and finish it right now, with or without you.
Oh, thank you so much, Brad.
Ow! Dude, you mind if I hit that? Yes, I do.
Oh.
I know, Brad, but you were having so much fun with all the DNA and the double helixes and all that andI felt like I was holding you back.
You were at a party? WellI know what you're thinking.
Okay, don't worry, I wasn't drinking.
No, no, no, no, no, I was thinking that you weren't studying.
Okay, you're right.
Yes, I am right, and I'm sorry, but you are grounded.
What? Yes.
Really? You know, you should use your mother as an example.
She, unlike you, takes her studying seriously.
Okay, Daddy, I will try.
Yeah, do you know that that poor woman was out 'til 2:00 in the morning last night studying? Okay, I got it, Dad.
I got it.
And while you're gallivanting around town--woo!-- Partying down, she is trying to better herself.
You should use her as a role model-- A role model? Okay, Dad, there is something you should know.
You mother was there? Yep.
But she was just passing through with her books on the way somewhere else, right? On the way to the keg.
I see.
Wait, wait, wait! You didn't hear it from me.
Claudia? Baby, I don't want to interrupt your homework, but I just thought you might want to know that Lily, she, uh--she wasn't studying last night.
She wasn't? No, no.
And it gets worse.
She went to a party.
Wow.
Are you sure? Yeah, I didn't want to believe it, either, but Brad told me.
But you know, look, don't worry about it.
You just go back to your work.
I'm gonna go get the whole story out of her.
No, no, no, no.
No, let me talk to her 'cause I am so mad.
Oh, well, hey, yeah, you're preaching to the choir, because, I mean, what kind of person, you know, would say, hey, I have a big emergency study thing and then leave me to baby-sit.
What kind of person would do that to another human being that they say they care about? We had a deal! He was gonna ground me! [screams.]
That's right, missy, now you are grounded.
[Lily.]
What? You're both grounded! You can't ground me! Well, okay, I guess I can't, but I should because you were supposed to be with your study group last night! I was! We were studying at a dorm.
Which is for college students, not for high school juniors.
Or their mothers.
I am a freshman! Neither of your two should have been there last night.
I went there to study! But you know how I need the right environment, and studying in the dorm was a very bad idea.
** [rock.]
Okay, so the underlying principles of a free market economy are-- Is it just me, or is that music incredibly distracting? They do it all the time.
Well, this is great.
Can't study at home.
Every time I turn around, something's gotta be cooked, cleaned, folded, or punished.
Can't study here at a college 'cause we gotta listen to that crap coming through the walls.
'Eh, whaddya gonna do? I'm gonna go tell those idiots to turn it down.
What are you doing here? Studying? Me, too.
Deal.
Listen, I just needed to blow off some steam.
So I had a couple beers.
Yeah, yeah, and there's always room for Jell-O.
You know what? You don't even understand.
There is a lot of pressure.
With this test coming up, and then there's-- No, no, no, no, no.
You are right, baby.
I can't understand.
How can I understand? I'm not the big ol' college student.
No.
Sean, I went downstairs-- No, no, no, you're right, baby.
Party on with Sigma Chi, mama.
Busted.
[sports on television.]
Hey, Sean, is the game almost over? Uh, yeah, this one is, babe.
This one? Yeah, next they're showing the '93 Super Bowl on Classic Sports.
You know, I think the Bills just might take it this time.
Honey, since it's not the Super Bowl, would it be too much to ask for you to turn it down just a little bit? You know, it would, and here's why: I've been watching a lot of silent games around here lately, but in light of recent revelations, I think this volume is just about right.
I'll just study in the kitchen.
Well, I can turn it up if you want to hear it in there.
Great.
I'll let you know.
Why is the TV so loud? Uh, Claudia lied to me, so I'm being an ass.
Hey, good news.
You know that guy, Stan, who thought I slept with his wife? That's all taken care of.
Wait, I thought you owed him money.
Naw, they found the car.
What car? We could go around and around with the car and the money and the wife and the ivory in the trunk.
The point is, my life's no longer in danger.
Oh, soRaoul? Huh? Raoul watch the front door.
Walk with me.
Now, listen, you know, I thought about what you said about, um about us being partners and about sharing responsibilities and I think I was wrong to not include you on a process so I'm gonna let you fire Raoul.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Because you're scared to.
Well, he knows where I live.
Yeah, he is where I live.
Yeah, but, you know, you're so much better at these things than I am, and, you know, he respects you.
Oh, he does, does he? Oh, yeah, he talks about you all the time.
He says, "Sean this" and, "Sean that" and, "I hope that Sean's the one who, you know, tells me if there's ever any bad news.
" Okay, I'll do this.
I'll do this on one condition: then you stand here and admit in front of me and God right now that you are a coward.
I am a coward.
Thanks.
God Hey, Lily? Oh, geez! Ah! Hey, you want me to take care of him, boss? I don't want to be taken care of.
Naw, let him go.
He's a friend.
My windpipe! Can I still talk? Can you hear me? Yes, Brad.
Brad, you're all right.
Okay, Raoul, can I talk to you for just a moment? Is that okay, boss? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
He's your boss, too.
Y'know, whatever he says, that's fine by me.
You know, even if I disagree with it, it's fine.
Are you all right, Brad? No, we need to talk.
I got the grade on our report.
And? B+.
Holy crap! I know! That's awesome! That sucks! B+ is awesome? What world do you live in? In this world, where I suck at science.
Okay, Lily, there's no easy way to say this, but, um you and me, it's just not working out, okay? We want different things.
Oh, my God! Are you breaking up with me? No, no! No! Are you breaking up with me? No! Don't scare me like that.
What were you saying? I just don't want to be your study partner, anymore.
Oh! Okay, I I'm the laughing stock of the Sciencenauts! But Brad, you always help me.
I haven't paid attention in science since, like, ninth grade.
Lily, you'll do fine, okay? Maybe someday you'll thank me.
Okay, okay.
I guess you're right.
All right, cool.
Um, later tonight my parents are going out, so if you wanna maybe come over Are you kidding? Now I've gotta study my butt off tonight.
Agh! And so that's when I stabbed him.
Wow, yeah, well, I mean, it was either him or you, right? No.
That's-- [laughs.]
That's a really funny story.
That's a really amusing story.
You know, um-- Yeah, wow.
Was that what you wanted to talk to me about? No.
Uh-- There's a little other thing.
Raoul, please.
You have been doing a great job.
I mean-- A great job.
And the way you handled Brad out there, that was something to see.
I mean, that was incredible, the way you manhandled him, but, you know, I don't have to tell you about the economy.
You know, and now that the threat to Eddie's life is over, it just seems that we probably don't really need your services anymore.
Severance pay.
I'm sorry.
It's completely fair of you to ask for that.
I just, uh-- Yeah, sure.
Uh, severance pay? How 'bout, uh-- Uh, fif--uh $50? Would that be good? Hmm? Oh, okay.
Yeah, okay.
Let's just make it an evenuh $56? How does that sound, huh? Okay, and uh-- phew! Pleasure knowing you, and good luck.
I'm gonna need next Thursday off.
Yeah, you can have every day off.
No, just next Thursday.
I have to go to a wedding.
Okay.
Enjoy the wedding.
I'll see you Friday.
Bright and early, huh? What the hell, man? What? I coulda given him Thursday off.
Yeah, well, this guy, he was telling me some story, he stabbed a baboso in the neck just for looking in his cell, man! So what? I don't even know what a baboso is! Uh, Sean, I really hesitate to ask, but-- uh, Thursday night I have my Econ class, and I didn't know if you'd be home to baby-sit.
I'm sorry, what was that? Did you say class, or all night rager? Yeah, that's kind of what I was expecting.
Ha ha.
Oh, you know what? I can lend you my key chainbottle opener.
Yes, I would need that if I were going to a party.
But I said, "class.
" Or one of those hats, with, uh With the straws and the beer.
Yeah, woo-hoo! Party all the time! It's been two days.
Can we give it a rest? I could, baby, if I was a bigger person.
Come-- I just need to know if I need to get a babysitter.
Okay, stop saying I need a babysitter, all right? I don't need a babysitter.
Well, well, it sounds like somebody's a little cranky.
Listen, Jimmy, we know you're responsible.
We just feel better knowing there's an adult around.
[sigh.]
Well, I couldn't possibly have done worse than the babysitter we had the other night.
What are you looking at? The naked lady on your arm.
That's my mother.
Sorry.
I'm telling you, if you find the car, you'll find the ivory.
Whoa.
Where are you going? To the bathroom.
Go to the bathroom down here.
Uh, we don't have a bathroom down here.
Improvise.
I don't want to improvise.
I just want to pee.
Boss told me to keep an eye on you.
That's what I'm doing.
Uncle Eddie? Listen to you babysitter! You let Raoul baby-sit? No, I let Eddie baby-sit! I didn't know he was gonna bring Shawshank! You were supposed to be babysitting! I don't need a babysitter.
Okay, you know what? You win, Jimmy.
All right, take Henry upstairs and just baby-sit.
You're mine.
Sean, where were you the other night? I think we both know the answer to that question.
** [punk.]
[spits.]
After all the grief you gave me about studying, you-- I-- [in unison.]
went to the Sex Pistols concert.
How long are you gonna harp on that, woman? I just found out.
Aw, God, just grind it into the ground, why don't ya? I want to let you know something.
I have already forgiven you for the Jell-O shots.
When I left this house, I actually went to do something worthwhile.
Oh, my God.
There you go again.
What? Yeah, playing the college card.
Right, because anything I do, no matter how unimportant it is to you, yeah, you just think it's nothing because you've gotta study.
Well, I'm sorry.
School is important.
Yeah, I know, but I do important things, too, baby.
Okay? Like when I uh God, I can't think of 'em right now, 'cause of the pressure I know.
I know you do important things.
It's You Okay, I'm drawing a blank.
But we agree they exist.
Absolutely, it's just listen, this college thing is really tough.
I mean, you know, I always regretted missing out on the college experience, y'know.
But now that I'm there, I realize I missed out on a lot of the fun stuff, too.
Baby, I'm glad you're getting the whole package.
And maybe I'm just a little jealous, but I'm really proud of you for going back to school.
Thank you.
Oh, my God, yes! I take out the trash! Yes! Yes! That's important! Very important! There's garbage piling up right now! I'm on it, baby! Thank you for the opportunity.
Good luck to you.
Eddie, all right.
I'm pretty proud of you, man.
You know, I can be strong when I have to be.
Mr.
Finnerty? Armando, let him by.
So, uh, so What are we gonna do about Armando, then? Um, I dunno.
We'll figure something out, you know? Hey, Armando, Sean wants to have a word with you.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R.
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Burbank, CA