Grown-ish (2018) s02e07 Episode Script
Messy
1 I'm sorry.
Do you know where the library is? Hey, you guys go on ahead, okay? - ZOEY: For those of you who don't know, - I'm Zoey.
- this is Cash Mooney.
- I'm Cash.
Cal U student, my ex-boyfriend [Camera shutter clicking.]
superstar basketball player and the dude who was responsible for creating one of the biggest uproars in Cal U history.
Stare out the window And I'm not talking about the time he posted about my virginity.
Jaded, I'm waiting Cash, what the hell?! How could you put my business out there like that? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
- [Record needle scratches.]
- Wait, I should probably break this down.
Reel it in, I got the bag Like most college stories, it started with a party.
I'm the new CNN Yeah, reel it in I got the bag, tell her friend She got some bring it in I'm the new CNN - Yeah - Hey! Drippin' Rollie got the tick tock missing It's pimpin' Broke got me livid You Jordan, I'm Pippen I'm Kobe, I'm never gon' dish it, or miss it But the night really became interesting when Cash came through, and, of course, he was celebrated like only a future first-round NBA draft pick could be.
[Camera shutter clicks.]
So, he met a girl She got some bring it in - I'm the new CNN - they shared some drinks.
.
- Reel it in - and they shared a lot more drinks.
She got some bring it in I'm the new CNN Yeah, yeah And then they shared a night.
The next morning, she shared the story with her friend.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi.
It happened.
Cash and I hooked up.
Oh, no! Uh, uh, give me the deets.
Was it legendary, epic? Uh, yeah.
I I think.
Who cares? It was Cash Mooney.
Cash Mooney.
Yeah, I swear to God.
She said they were faded.
Bad luck for dude, though, and the team.
Totally blacked out, like, completely unconscious.
- Dude's a monster.
- He's disgusting.
Oh, my God.
Did you guys hear about Cash Mooney? - Yeah, that's crazy.
- Man, that's whack.
So, a bad game of telephone mixed with our current sociopolitical climate threw our university into an uproar.
When, as a result, a new policy was implemented campus-wide.
[Indistinct chatter.]
What the hell's Enthusiastic Sober Consent? Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out, world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown [Groans.]
Looks like your boy really messed up on this one.
He didn't mess up.
And he's not her boy.
Look, did you even read the article? I mean, the girl who hooked up with Cash said it was a huge misunderstanding and that they're cool.
Hey.
Hey.
I just wanted to check in.
This is all so crazy.
Yeah, I know.
Look, I'm so sorry if I misread the situation.
You didn't.
To be clear, I mean, we had some drinks, but that night was completely consensual.
So, how did this all blow up? I mean, I had a conversation with my friend.
He got things twisted, and then it all got out of control.
This is such a nightmare.
Yeah, it it is.
Again, I'm really sorry.
Well, I'm glad they're cool, because the rest of the school is screwed.
I mean, this whole Enthusiastic Sober Consent thing is some bull.
What does Enthusiastic Sober Consent even mean? Mutual, voluntary consent, communicated clearly before and during any sexual activity.
It basically means that when you're hooking up, you have to ask for permission every stage of the game.
Like, "Oh, can I kiss you? Can I rub you? Can I touch your boobs?" It's too much.
Okay, first off, it's "May I?" Nothing's a bigger bonerkiller than bad grammar.
Except maybe correcting bad grammar.
Can I finish? I don't know.
May you finish? Okay, look, nobody's gonna be finishing with this massively unsexy policy.
Isn't it just about safety, though? I mean, first day of freshman year, we had the seminar about protecting ourselves against sexual assault, and even, like, think about our group dynamics.
We have the buddy system.
We never leave our drinks unattended.
Why is that? I think this policy's just an extension of that, and I don't see what the problem is.
Really? You don't get how unsexy it is to stop and double check between hand and mouth stuff? I get how unsexy it is hearing you talk about hand and mouth stuff.
Can we forget about how not-sexy something is for a second? I mean, women are and continue to be assaulted on campuses everywhere, and just because it wasn't the case this one time between Cash and the girl doesn't mean it's not happening constantly.
Absolutely.
And I for one think consent can be pretty sexy.
[Speaking Spanish.]
I don't know what you just said, but whatever it was, it's an enthusiastic "hell yes.
" ZOEY: So, then that means you're in on the policy.
- Hell no.
- I, uh, I think I'm with Vivek on this one.
I mean, it's gonna decimate our entire college experience.
We came here to meet new people, get trashed with them, and then have sex with them.
- Yes.
- Bingo.
Well, the university would just prefer if you do those things one at a time.
It's supposed to help us have positive sexual experiences.
What is more positive than drunk and sloppy sex? Church? Get on board.
- Amen.
- Whatever.
I don't need I don't need the school telling me how to behave when I drink.
- Well, some people do.
- Yeah, like creepy-ass Cash.
No, I'm talking about Ana.
You just gonna let her call you out like that? I do get sloppy.
Why you keep playing games with me, Burt? Where are we going? We're just gonna get some fresh air.
No! I don't need fresh air.
[Breathing shakily.]
Chloe? Ms.
Torres, I'd really just like to get my chicken strips, please.
Whatever.
I feel safer with this policy in place.
Yeah, me too.
I feel like it's gonna be a really good thing.
Well, I mean, yeah, of course you do, because it's designed to protect you, not me.
Okay, Aaron.
You know that this policy is not meant to keep the man down.
It's meant to protect all students.
How? I don't see dudes out here getting assaulted.
False.
I know some dudes that have been assaulted.
By women? Hmm? [Scoffs.]
Nah, that's ridiculous.
Uh, not really.
It's actually a lot more common than you think.
Yeah, like poor Wade.
Who is Wade? Just one of my boys who happened to be at a party one night and found himself in a compromising sexual situation with two women.
What? Dude, that's not an assault.
That's called the dream I had last night.
- It's wonderful.
- No, man.
I'm serious.
It was at the end of the night.
He was at a party, these two chicks are pressuring him to get down, and he wasn't into it.
But he didn't want to say no and get called a punk, so he let them do mouth stuff to him.
So I'm supposed to run a charity 5k for your boy that got domed up by two chicks? Okay, let's be clear.
Vivek is out of his mind.
We know that.
But, devil's advocate, how is his homie's scenario any different if the gender roles were reversed? Because women have a huge physical disadvantage compared to guys.
Yeah, and I highly doubt that punk-ass Wade felt physically threatened by two girls.
And this kind of talk is exactly why Wade felt he had to get domed up.
No, this kind of talk is why dude felt like he couldn't say anything in the first place, and the fact that we're legit sitting here joking about it is super problematic.
Okay, fair, but how is this policy even enforceable? I mean, who here's actually gonna stop drinking and hooking up? Well, I could see Oh, wow, okay, so the two biggest supporters of this thing aren't even gonna follow it.
You see, this is what I'm saying.
Who is this even for? I'll tell you who the university.
If something goes down, they want to be able to wash their hands of it and say, "We had a rule.
" - Mm-hmm.
- Absolutely, as usual, the administration is just covering its own ass.
But honestly, who cares, because if this policy stops one incident from happening, I'd say it's worth it.
Well, dude doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
What are you talking about? Check the Shade Room.
Cash is leaving school.
What? Boom.
How do you like your policy now, Freshman? Huh? Mm, mm, mm.
Poor little Cash.
While my crew and I were trying to get our heads around Cal U's new Enthusiastic Sober Consent policy, a new problematic twist in my ex-boyfriend Cash's story added to the confusion.
Okay, so, it says that Cash is leaving Cal U to play ball in Europe.
He probably left because he wanted to.
Or 'cause he looks mad Sus.
Like, I don't know, he can only get girls when they're, uh when they're super faded.
Hold on, now, okay.
Some of us need a little alcohol to help with our game.
All right? If Cal U won't let me drink while I hit on a girl, I might as well transfer.
I mean, you saw me at the party that night.
Hey, it's flu season.
Have you ladies gotten your shots? Run up on a show 'em what I am Pull up in a Benz with that laser sight Money all day, money all night [Imitates siren.]
Somebody call wine-one-one? I could very clearly argue that alcohol hurts your game tremendously.
Like you never use booze to help with the ladies.
Unlike you, Vivek, I don't need help, right? My game has just naturally evolved.
I'm sorry I'm not evolved enough to use the "ThotFax.
" I'm sorry.
A "ThotFax"? You know, um, well [Clears throat.]
it's just like, you know, you don't bring a car home unless you check the CarFax.
You don't bring a girl home unless you check the ThotFax.
[Ding.]
Odd that you didn't just call it the "GirlFax.
" - Yeah.
- Look, before I even go to a party, I've already got my homies giving me Intel about which girls are at the party, so that way, by the time I'm at said party, I'm just Robocopping the room.
I wanna rock, she wanna Right now, I want some top I wanna rock, let's smoke dis She's so high right now I wanna rock I wanna, I wanna rock I wanna rock, I wanna rock right now Right now, right now I wanna rock I wanna rock right now, right now, right now I wanna rock, she wanna suck on this I want some top Ay Look at this drip, look at this sauce Look at her walk, Gucci on me, oh, my gosh Hmm, interesting.
So Michelle Obama types are your thing.
Not always.
Now that is some sexist bullshit right there.
Girl, you know we do it, too.
It's how you figure out who the Dirty D.
Derek - of the world are.
- Mmm I wanna rock, she wanna Right now, I want some top I wanna rock I wanna rock, I wanna, I wanna rock I wanna rock I wanna rock right now, right now, right now I wanna rock, I wanna rock right now Right now, right now Look, the point is, I don't need alcohol, okay? I rely on my ThotFax, my charisma, and, you know, my turn-up moves on the dance floor.
ZOEY: Mm! No, mnh-mnh-mnh.
Pause, I have seen you on the dance floor, and that turn up needs to be turned, like, - all the way down.
- All the way.
What? Thinking of ways Bring out the best in you I'm on a wave Come get a lesson Thinking of ways Like, legit, your moves blocked the hall to the bathroom.
Yeah, you know girls got UTIs 'cause they didn't want to get, like, kicked in the face.
Those girls got UTIs.
I got Y-E-S's.
All right, but all those "yes's" you're getting, how do you know that they're enthusiastic? What? Why would a girl dance with me if she didn't want to dance with me? Uh, we do a lot of things we don't want to do because we're "supposed to be nice and polite.
" - Mm-hmm.
- And, news flash, it happens on the dance floor and in the bedroom.
No women are in my bed to be polite.
Trust.
No one is in your bed period, trust.
[Laughter.]
No, but I know lots of girls who get with a guy, they start making out, and then, you know, things start to happen, and then, you know, it gets to a point where stopping would just make it awkward or messy, and you just go through with it.
Wait.
So, wait, wait, wait.
So you're telling me that you're having sex just to be polite? I haven't.
What I'm saying is it does happen.
Like Like, uh, when you order food at a restaurant, and you change your mind.
No one ever wants to be that person to send it back.
- Seriously? - What? Please, I've sent back plenty of food.
And dicks.
Guys, this literally sounds insane.
Men are not mind-readers.
If she doesn't say anything, how am I supposed to know how she's feeling? Eh, he does kind of have a point.
Okay, fine.
I will concede to his if he concedes to mine that this policy is really important.
It's weird, though, that you support this policy so much, just 'cause on the night of the party, technically you would've been busted.
I was sober that whole night.
Well, you might've been, but hipster dude with that bolo tie you brought home definitely wasn't.
- Bolo tie? - Ooh, yeah, he was gone.
Thinking of ways To bring out the best in you I'm on a wave Come get a lesson You want to get out of here? Where's my bolo tie? It's around your neck, sweetie.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come get a lesson Oh.
Oh, so bolo ties are your thing? Not always.
The point is, Ana, even though you soberly consented, Mumford & Sons could not.
- [Chuckles.]
- So congrats on violating your beloved policy.
- She isn't wrong.
- Nope.
Yeah, you know, you would know.
You're always in violation.
Luca is never sober.
Facts.
Okay, but we're in a relationship.
So? The policy does not care.
No, it definitely does not.
People in relationships, dudes with no game, girls with [inhales sharply.]
bad taste, and dudes who have no self awareness on the dance floor, it screws everyone.
All right, look, I-I get that this policy has its flaws, but if it makes people slow down and think, that's a good thing.
I mean, if we had it last week, maybe Cash and that girl would have stopped and slowed down, and her credibility wouldn't be called into question and Cash would still be here.
- Still be here? - Yeah.
So this is about dude? What? Explains why you've been riding for this policy so hard.
Whatever.
On that note, I think I'm out.
VIVEK: Oh, dude.
Okay.
Wow.
It isn't about dude for me, but apparently, it is for him.
Dude, hello! What began as a group debate of a new policy at Cal U had suddenly turned into a fight for me and Luca.
Why are you making this whole thing about Cash? Mm, pretty sure you're making it about Cash.
What? When? You know, we're in there discussing the policy, and it's not like I'm on dude's side.
Really? 'Cause the other night, you really seemed like you were Team Cash.
[Loud music plays, indistinct conversations.]
- CASH: What's up?! - ZOEY: Oh.
Oh, hey.
It's the curly-headed cup Uh, they don't call me that anymore! So, how you doing? Good, good.
Seriously? That's why you're so pressed? Well, I wasn't gonna talk about your little "reunion" - My reunion? - but now you want to sit up here and defend dude, talk about how you wish he was still here, so First of all, that's not what I said, and second of all, you're being delusional because nothing happened that night.
[Loud music plays, indistinct conversations.]
What's up? - Oh! - It's the curly-headed cup Um, actually, they don't call me that anymore.
Such a lie.
Five people have called me "cup bitch" tonight.
So, uh, how you doing? Good, good.
Um you look good.
Thank you.
I see you over there with your boy.
You look happy.
We are.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
Thank you.
Well, it was really good to see you.
Yeah, same.
So You know what? That's That's on me.
Yeah.
You know what? It is.
Zoey, I'm sorry.
All right, well, why don't you consider talking to me next time rather than treating me like I'd ever be disloyal? You can go somewhere with that.
Oh, honey.
Watching "Rizzoli and Isles" is not gonna make you feel any better.
It really isn't.
[TV turns off.]
Look, you and Luca are gonna be fine.
Everybody knows that you don't care is Cash is leaving.
That's not what I'm upset about.
[Sighs.]
It's this whole "Enthusiastic Sober Consent" thing.
Like, on the surface, Luca thought that he saw me and Cash doing something wrong, and when we dug in deeper, he understood that it was a harmless situation.
And it just feels like the policy is kind of the same.
Like, on the surface, it's super simple.
It's here to protect us, which is such a no-brainer.
But when you dig in deeper, you understand that it it has its flaws, and I-I-I don't know.
Like, maybe you're right.
Maybe we don't need this whole thing.
Yeah, or maybe I'm not.
She's definitely not.
No, look, do I want people to feel safe? Of course I do.
I just I worry that the policy's too black and white.
Okay, yeah, fine.
I-It doesn't solve everything, but look.
It's making us talk and think about stuff.
Really uncomfortable stuff, and my worry is, like, what is just talk actually going to change? Okay, well, hopefully it makes us more aware so that we can protect ourselves.
And, you know, at the very least, be 100% accountable with each other.
Yeah, true.
[Knock on door.]
Don't worry, she'll get it.
Hey.
Hey.
Just wondering, uh, if I could make things up to you.
Maybe split these bottles of extremely, extremely non-alcoholic Mexican sodas? Can I come in? May you come in.
Wh Why is she like that? I don't know.
[Chuckles.]
Um look.
I'm sorry.
I trust you.
I should've trusted you enough to talk to you about it.
May I come in? Sure.
I'm gonna need you to say that with a little more enthusiasm.
[Sighs.]
I can't do this without alcohol.
Yes, you can.
You got this, okay? You're just in your head.
We both can do this.
No booze for you, no dancing for me.
We don't even need it.
We fi Oh, this is my jam.
No, no.
You said we got this.
- I don't got a damn thing.
- Like a red nose Li-li-li-li-like a red nose Yeah, me neither.
Like a red nose - Ugh.
- Hey! What - Like a red nose - Hey, you ladies want some shots? Li-li-li-li-like a red nose Like a red nose Like a Like a Like a red nose
Do you know where the library is? Hey, you guys go on ahead, okay? - ZOEY: For those of you who don't know, - I'm Zoey.
- this is Cash Mooney.
- I'm Cash.
Cal U student, my ex-boyfriend [Camera shutter clicking.]
superstar basketball player and the dude who was responsible for creating one of the biggest uproars in Cal U history.
Stare out the window And I'm not talking about the time he posted about my virginity.
Jaded, I'm waiting Cash, what the hell?! How could you put my business out there like that? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
- [Record needle scratches.]
- Wait, I should probably break this down.
Reel it in, I got the bag Like most college stories, it started with a party.
I'm the new CNN Yeah, reel it in I got the bag, tell her friend She got some bring it in I'm the new CNN - Yeah - Hey! Drippin' Rollie got the tick tock missing It's pimpin' Broke got me livid You Jordan, I'm Pippen I'm Kobe, I'm never gon' dish it, or miss it But the night really became interesting when Cash came through, and, of course, he was celebrated like only a future first-round NBA draft pick could be.
[Camera shutter clicks.]
So, he met a girl She got some bring it in - I'm the new CNN - they shared some drinks.
.
- Reel it in - and they shared a lot more drinks.
She got some bring it in I'm the new CNN Yeah, yeah And then they shared a night.
The next morning, she shared the story with her friend.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi.
It happened.
Cash and I hooked up.
Oh, no! Uh, uh, give me the deets.
Was it legendary, epic? Uh, yeah.
I I think.
Who cares? It was Cash Mooney.
Cash Mooney.
Yeah, I swear to God.
She said they were faded.
Bad luck for dude, though, and the team.
Totally blacked out, like, completely unconscious.
- Dude's a monster.
- He's disgusting.
Oh, my God.
Did you guys hear about Cash Mooney? - Yeah, that's crazy.
- Man, that's whack.
So, a bad game of telephone mixed with our current sociopolitical climate threw our university into an uproar.
When, as a result, a new policy was implemented campus-wide.
[Indistinct chatter.]
What the hell's Enthusiastic Sober Consent? Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out, world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown [Groans.]
Looks like your boy really messed up on this one.
He didn't mess up.
And he's not her boy.
Look, did you even read the article? I mean, the girl who hooked up with Cash said it was a huge misunderstanding and that they're cool.
Hey.
Hey.
I just wanted to check in.
This is all so crazy.
Yeah, I know.
Look, I'm so sorry if I misread the situation.
You didn't.
To be clear, I mean, we had some drinks, but that night was completely consensual.
So, how did this all blow up? I mean, I had a conversation with my friend.
He got things twisted, and then it all got out of control.
This is such a nightmare.
Yeah, it it is.
Again, I'm really sorry.
Well, I'm glad they're cool, because the rest of the school is screwed.
I mean, this whole Enthusiastic Sober Consent thing is some bull.
What does Enthusiastic Sober Consent even mean? Mutual, voluntary consent, communicated clearly before and during any sexual activity.
It basically means that when you're hooking up, you have to ask for permission every stage of the game.
Like, "Oh, can I kiss you? Can I rub you? Can I touch your boobs?" It's too much.
Okay, first off, it's "May I?" Nothing's a bigger bonerkiller than bad grammar.
Except maybe correcting bad grammar.
Can I finish? I don't know.
May you finish? Okay, look, nobody's gonna be finishing with this massively unsexy policy.
Isn't it just about safety, though? I mean, first day of freshman year, we had the seminar about protecting ourselves against sexual assault, and even, like, think about our group dynamics.
We have the buddy system.
We never leave our drinks unattended.
Why is that? I think this policy's just an extension of that, and I don't see what the problem is.
Really? You don't get how unsexy it is to stop and double check between hand and mouth stuff? I get how unsexy it is hearing you talk about hand and mouth stuff.
Can we forget about how not-sexy something is for a second? I mean, women are and continue to be assaulted on campuses everywhere, and just because it wasn't the case this one time between Cash and the girl doesn't mean it's not happening constantly.
Absolutely.
And I for one think consent can be pretty sexy.
[Speaking Spanish.]
I don't know what you just said, but whatever it was, it's an enthusiastic "hell yes.
" ZOEY: So, then that means you're in on the policy.
- Hell no.
- I, uh, I think I'm with Vivek on this one.
I mean, it's gonna decimate our entire college experience.
We came here to meet new people, get trashed with them, and then have sex with them.
- Yes.
- Bingo.
Well, the university would just prefer if you do those things one at a time.
It's supposed to help us have positive sexual experiences.
What is more positive than drunk and sloppy sex? Church? Get on board.
- Amen.
- Whatever.
I don't need I don't need the school telling me how to behave when I drink.
- Well, some people do.
- Yeah, like creepy-ass Cash.
No, I'm talking about Ana.
You just gonna let her call you out like that? I do get sloppy.
Why you keep playing games with me, Burt? Where are we going? We're just gonna get some fresh air.
No! I don't need fresh air.
[Breathing shakily.]
Chloe? Ms.
Torres, I'd really just like to get my chicken strips, please.
Whatever.
I feel safer with this policy in place.
Yeah, me too.
I feel like it's gonna be a really good thing.
Well, I mean, yeah, of course you do, because it's designed to protect you, not me.
Okay, Aaron.
You know that this policy is not meant to keep the man down.
It's meant to protect all students.
How? I don't see dudes out here getting assaulted.
False.
I know some dudes that have been assaulted.
By women? Hmm? [Scoffs.]
Nah, that's ridiculous.
Uh, not really.
It's actually a lot more common than you think.
Yeah, like poor Wade.
Who is Wade? Just one of my boys who happened to be at a party one night and found himself in a compromising sexual situation with two women.
What? Dude, that's not an assault.
That's called the dream I had last night.
- It's wonderful.
- No, man.
I'm serious.
It was at the end of the night.
He was at a party, these two chicks are pressuring him to get down, and he wasn't into it.
But he didn't want to say no and get called a punk, so he let them do mouth stuff to him.
So I'm supposed to run a charity 5k for your boy that got domed up by two chicks? Okay, let's be clear.
Vivek is out of his mind.
We know that.
But, devil's advocate, how is his homie's scenario any different if the gender roles were reversed? Because women have a huge physical disadvantage compared to guys.
Yeah, and I highly doubt that punk-ass Wade felt physically threatened by two girls.
And this kind of talk is exactly why Wade felt he had to get domed up.
No, this kind of talk is why dude felt like he couldn't say anything in the first place, and the fact that we're legit sitting here joking about it is super problematic.
Okay, fair, but how is this policy even enforceable? I mean, who here's actually gonna stop drinking and hooking up? Well, I could see Oh, wow, okay, so the two biggest supporters of this thing aren't even gonna follow it.
You see, this is what I'm saying.
Who is this even for? I'll tell you who the university.
If something goes down, they want to be able to wash their hands of it and say, "We had a rule.
" - Mm-hmm.
- Absolutely, as usual, the administration is just covering its own ass.
But honestly, who cares, because if this policy stops one incident from happening, I'd say it's worth it.
Well, dude doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
What are you talking about? Check the Shade Room.
Cash is leaving school.
What? Boom.
How do you like your policy now, Freshman? Huh? Mm, mm, mm.
Poor little Cash.
While my crew and I were trying to get our heads around Cal U's new Enthusiastic Sober Consent policy, a new problematic twist in my ex-boyfriend Cash's story added to the confusion.
Okay, so, it says that Cash is leaving Cal U to play ball in Europe.
He probably left because he wanted to.
Or 'cause he looks mad Sus.
Like, I don't know, he can only get girls when they're, uh when they're super faded.
Hold on, now, okay.
Some of us need a little alcohol to help with our game.
All right? If Cal U won't let me drink while I hit on a girl, I might as well transfer.
I mean, you saw me at the party that night.
Hey, it's flu season.
Have you ladies gotten your shots? Run up on a show 'em what I am Pull up in a Benz with that laser sight Money all day, money all night [Imitates siren.]
Somebody call wine-one-one? I could very clearly argue that alcohol hurts your game tremendously.
Like you never use booze to help with the ladies.
Unlike you, Vivek, I don't need help, right? My game has just naturally evolved.
I'm sorry I'm not evolved enough to use the "ThotFax.
" I'm sorry.
A "ThotFax"? You know, um, well [Clears throat.]
it's just like, you know, you don't bring a car home unless you check the CarFax.
You don't bring a girl home unless you check the ThotFax.
[Ding.]
Odd that you didn't just call it the "GirlFax.
" - Yeah.
- Look, before I even go to a party, I've already got my homies giving me Intel about which girls are at the party, so that way, by the time I'm at said party, I'm just Robocopping the room.
I wanna rock, she wanna Right now, I want some top I wanna rock, let's smoke dis She's so high right now I wanna rock I wanna, I wanna rock I wanna rock, I wanna rock right now Right now, right now I wanna rock I wanna rock right now, right now, right now I wanna rock, she wanna suck on this I want some top Ay Look at this drip, look at this sauce Look at her walk, Gucci on me, oh, my gosh Hmm, interesting.
So Michelle Obama types are your thing.
Not always.
Now that is some sexist bullshit right there.
Girl, you know we do it, too.
It's how you figure out who the Dirty D.
Derek - of the world are.
- Mmm I wanna rock, she wanna Right now, I want some top I wanna rock I wanna rock, I wanna, I wanna rock I wanna rock I wanna rock right now, right now, right now I wanna rock, I wanna rock right now Right now, right now Look, the point is, I don't need alcohol, okay? I rely on my ThotFax, my charisma, and, you know, my turn-up moves on the dance floor.
ZOEY: Mm! No, mnh-mnh-mnh.
Pause, I have seen you on the dance floor, and that turn up needs to be turned, like, - all the way down.
- All the way.
What? Thinking of ways Bring out the best in you I'm on a wave Come get a lesson Thinking of ways Like, legit, your moves blocked the hall to the bathroom.
Yeah, you know girls got UTIs 'cause they didn't want to get, like, kicked in the face.
Those girls got UTIs.
I got Y-E-S's.
All right, but all those "yes's" you're getting, how do you know that they're enthusiastic? What? Why would a girl dance with me if she didn't want to dance with me? Uh, we do a lot of things we don't want to do because we're "supposed to be nice and polite.
" - Mm-hmm.
- And, news flash, it happens on the dance floor and in the bedroom.
No women are in my bed to be polite.
Trust.
No one is in your bed period, trust.
[Laughter.]
No, but I know lots of girls who get with a guy, they start making out, and then, you know, things start to happen, and then, you know, it gets to a point where stopping would just make it awkward or messy, and you just go through with it.
Wait.
So, wait, wait, wait.
So you're telling me that you're having sex just to be polite? I haven't.
What I'm saying is it does happen.
Like Like, uh, when you order food at a restaurant, and you change your mind.
No one ever wants to be that person to send it back.
- Seriously? - What? Please, I've sent back plenty of food.
And dicks.
Guys, this literally sounds insane.
Men are not mind-readers.
If she doesn't say anything, how am I supposed to know how she's feeling? Eh, he does kind of have a point.
Okay, fine.
I will concede to his if he concedes to mine that this policy is really important.
It's weird, though, that you support this policy so much, just 'cause on the night of the party, technically you would've been busted.
I was sober that whole night.
Well, you might've been, but hipster dude with that bolo tie you brought home definitely wasn't.
- Bolo tie? - Ooh, yeah, he was gone.
Thinking of ways To bring out the best in you I'm on a wave Come get a lesson You want to get out of here? Where's my bolo tie? It's around your neck, sweetie.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come get a lesson Oh.
Oh, so bolo ties are your thing? Not always.
The point is, Ana, even though you soberly consented, Mumford & Sons could not.
- [Chuckles.]
- So congrats on violating your beloved policy.
- She isn't wrong.
- Nope.
Yeah, you know, you would know.
You're always in violation.
Luca is never sober.
Facts.
Okay, but we're in a relationship.
So? The policy does not care.
No, it definitely does not.
People in relationships, dudes with no game, girls with [inhales sharply.]
bad taste, and dudes who have no self awareness on the dance floor, it screws everyone.
All right, look, I-I get that this policy has its flaws, but if it makes people slow down and think, that's a good thing.
I mean, if we had it last week, maybe Cash and that girl would have stopped and slowed down, and her credibility wouldn't be called into question and Cash would still be here.
- Still be here? - Yeah.
So this is about dude? What? Explains why you've been riding for this policy so hard.
Whatever.
On that note, I think I'm out.
VIVEK: Oh, dude.
Okay.
Wow.
It isn't about dude for me, but apparently, it is for him.
Dude, hello! What began as a group debate of a new policy at Cal U had suddenly turned into a fight for me and Luca.
Why are you making this whole thing about Cash? Mm, pretty sure you're making it about Cash.
What? When? You know, we're in there discussing the policy, and it's not like I'm on dude's side.
Really? 'Cause the other night, you really seemed like you were Team Cash.
[Loud music plays, indistinct conversations.]
- CASH: What's up?! - ZOEY: Oh.
Oh, hey.
It's the curly-headed cup Uh, they don't call me that anymore! So, how you doing? Good, good.
Seriously? That's why you're so pressed? Well, I wasn't gonna talk about your little "reunion" - My reunion? - but now you want to sit up here and defend dude, talk about how you wish he was still here, so First of all, that's not what I said, and second of all, you're being delusional because nothing happened that night.
[Loud music plays, indistinct conversations.]
What's up? - Oh! - It's the curly-headed cup Um, actually, they don't call me that anymore.
Such a lie.
Five people have called me "cup bitch" tonight.
So, uh, how you doing? Good, good.
Um you look good.
Thank you.
I see you over there with your boy.
You look happy.
We are.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
Thank you.
Well, it was really good to see you.
Yeah, same.
So You know what? That's That's on me.
Yeah.
You know what? It is.
Zoey, I'm sorry.
All right, well, why don't you consider talking to me next time rather than treating me like I'd ever be disloyal? You can go somewhere with that.
Oh, honey.
Watching "Rizzoli and Isles" is not gonna make you feel any better.
It really isn't.
[TV turns off.]
Look, you and Luca are gonna be fine.
Everybody knows that you don't care is Cash is leaving.
That's not what I'm upset about.
[Sighs.]
It's this whole "Enthusiastic Sober Consent" thing.
Like, on the surface, Luca thought that he saw me and Cash doing something wrong, and when we dug in deeper, he understood that it was a harmless situation.
And it just feels like the policy is kind of the same.
Like, on the surface, it's super simple.
It's here to protect us, which is such a no-brainer.
But when you dig in deeper, you understand that it it has its flaws, and I-I-I don't know.
Like, maybe you're right.
Maybe we don't need this whole thing.
Yeah, or maybe I'm not.
She's definitely not.
No, look, do I want people to feel safe? Of course I do.
I just I worry that the policy's too black and white.
Okay, yeah, fine.
I-It doesn't solve everything, but look.
It's making us talk and think about stuff.
Really uncomfortable stuff, and my worry is, like, what is just talk actually going to change? Okay, well, hopefully it makes us more aware so that we can protect ourselves.
And, you know, at the very least, be 100% accountable with each other.
Yeah, true.
[Knock on door.]
Don't worry, she'll get it.
Hey.
Hey.
Just wondering, uh, if I could make things up to you.
Maybe split these bottles of extremely, extremely non-alcoholic Mexican sodas? Can I come in? May you come in.
Wh Why is she like that? I don't know.
[Chuckles.]
Um look.
I'm sorry.
I trust you.
I should've trusted you enough to talk to you about it.
May I come in? Sure.
I'm gonna need you to say that with a little more enthusiasm.
[Sighs.]
I can't do this without alcohol.
Yes, you can.
You got this, okay? You're just in your head.
We both can do this.
No booze for you, no dancing for me.
We don't even need it.
We fi Oh, this is my jam.
No, no.
You said we got this.
- I don't got a damn thing.
- Like a red nose Li-li-li-li-like a red nose Yeah, me neither.
Like a red nose - Ugh.
- Hey! What - Like a red nose - Hey, you ladies want some shots? Li-li-li-li-like a red nose Like a red nose Like a Like a Like a red nose