H8R (2011) s01e02 Episode Script

Scott Disick & Eva Longoria

(Screaming) But every star has at least one Hater.
I think he's arrogant.
Little prissy-boy jerk.
He's just an all-around (bleep).
I hate that man.
Hate him, hate him, hate him.
But these haters are about to get the surprise of their lives when they're confronted by the stars they love to hate.
I wanna show you the camera right here.
Oh, my God.
What? Oh, my God! (Laughs) Your job is to go out there and act out the image that she hates.
Hidden cameras capture a hater's true feelings with celebrities secretly watching from our control room.
He wouldn't be looking through all that.
She's not a celebrity.
She is d-list.
I have nothing but disdain for him.
Aw! Hey, you wanna play that game you were just talking about? But what will happen when the celebrity confronts the hater face-to-face? So you're calling me a douche bag and a (bleep)? Yeah, I did.
Do you like me? You're an ass.
You've got kind of a bad attitude.
Makes no (bleep) sense.
What?! You want to say something?! Say something! No, guys! Guys, no! Oh, my gosh! (Camera shutters clicking) Tonight we've got Scott Disick from "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" I don't think I'm the most modest man around.
(Chuckles) And Eva Longoria.
I've been listening to everything you've been saying.
They'll get their chance to set the record straight.
And just, like-- you're not really gonna talk (bleep) about me now, are you? No, I am.
It's all coming up tonight Wow.
On "H8R.
" Captioned by closed captioning services, inc.
I'm Mario Lopez, and this is "H8R.
" Now you probably know Scott Disick from "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," where his belligerent, booze-filled rages have been fodder for tabloid gossip for years.
Over here! You guys! You guys! Look! This privileged east Hampton socialite claims he's curbed his old ways upon his entry into fatherhood.
(Engine revving) Well, he's gonna have a chance to prove that today, as he comes face-to-face with one of his haters.
Everybody, everybody get down, get down So, Scott, have you ever met a hater before? Are you kidding me? Try every day.
(Chuckles) What is it they hate about you? My arrogance kills people.
My cockiness kills people.
I've had one or two girls slap me in my day.
(Slaps) How worried or nervous are you about meeting this hater? I'd like to say I-I'm not, but I am, because, you know, I have a family.
I have a son that I'm raising, so in the last few years, I've really turned my life around, and I wish and I hope that other people would see that, but it seems like no matter what I do, there's still a hater out there.
Don't be a hater unh-unh hater unh-unh don't be a hater unh-unh hater don't be a hater All right, Scott, so your hater Dayla has no idea I'm showing this to you.
She thought she was auditioning for a show about celebrity gossip, and we asked her about you.
Here's your hater.
Scott Disick-- he's, like, this arrogant man that tries to dress well, and he could dress well, if he wasn't such an (bleep).
That's hysterical.
He walks and looks at people like they're much lower than him.
He treats people like they're much lower than him.
He's kinda greasy a little bit.
He gets this look on his face, where you just kinda want to slap him and, like, get it off of his face.
Oh, this is whenever some very attractive guy's an (bleep), arrogant, they're automatically put into the Scott pile.
He's just an all-around (bleep).
Scott Disick is wack.
Man, I-I had no idea I pissed people off this much.
She doesn't think you're genuine.
I don't think I'm the most modest man around.
(Chuckles) But it seems like she has a legit passion of hatred towards me.
It was coming from somewhere, that heat, and it seems like every time she goes on a first date, she puts 'em into a Scott or a non-Scott category.
(Chuckles) In my mind, she's almost mildly obsessed with me.
One part of me feels like she almost loves to hate me but could possibly be in love with me deep down.
(Chuckles) I love that.
(Chuckles) Have to get it, get it get it, get it now what? what's that? What's that? You ready to meet your hater? Sure am.
Let's do it.
What? What's that? All right, Scott, so here is the deal.
We're sitting outside of Rocksugar restaurant, and inside Dayla is gonna show up with Brianna, who's our accomplice.
Aah! Aah! How are you? I'm good.
(Laughs) Good.
Okay, look.
There is your hater now.
So the girl with the braids, obviously, is Dayla, your hater.
Okay, she thinks she's here to have lunch with her friends.
That's her friend over there, Brianna.
She's in on this, and eventually she's gonna leave.
And then Ashley is the other girl.
She's the actress playing Brianna's friend right.
Helping set up this whole scenario.
Everyone in the restaurant is in on it, including the hostess Can we see a menu? Absolutely.
And we have hidden cameras set up everywhere.
And then you're gonna come in with your friend, bribe the hostess, and get seated before them, and, uh, we'll see what she has to say.
It's gonna be hysterical.
All right, man.
All right.
Good luck to you.
Go do your thing.
I'll see you in a second.
You guys can look through that while you're waiting, okay? Thank you.
I'm so hungry.
Are you starving? (Chuckles) Yeah.
I am, too.
How long did you say? 'Cause we had a reservation.
You know what? They're just clearing it off now, so it'll be just one second, okay? I mean, in the end he told me that it was (Laughs) Oh, my gosh.
In the end he told you what? He told me that it was, um (Chuckles) He told me that it was, um In the end he told me, it was his ex-girlfriend, s How ya doin'? Um hi.
Did you call in a no.
Uh, for Scott.
For Scott.
Welcome to--for Scott.
What's the last name? Disick.
All right.
Scott's going in.
He's gonna get seated before them and really tick 'em off.
Oh, you know what? I can't even accept that That's fine.
But let me check in a second.
Did I really need to call? You won't take my money? Like, is it not good here? Can I just sit? Who cares about the money? You can in just a moment.
We--we have money, too.
We want to eat.
I'm sorry, sir.
I don't understand what-- we're both here starving, and we've been, like, waiting.
(Laughs) Like, are you really serious, honestly? All right.
Do you--I mean What is your name? I didn't hear it.
I just told you.
Scott Disick.
Oh, goodness, from "The Kardashians.
" (Speaks indistinctly) I just want to be seated.
Just take this.
I mean, this is ridiculous.
I don't think that matters.
We were here first.
(Chuckles) He just gave me $100.
(Laughs) We're all eating.
Okay, gentlemen, follow me.
Sorry about that.
Are you serious right now? That's ridiculous.
Like, do I have bring out some money? Like, is that-- just look at his Wait a minute.
It's fine.
You've got to be kidding me.
It's fine.
Just come on.
Like, it's not that big of a deal, but I'm hungry, and I don't like him.
She is actually, like, really, really hungry, and she gets super grumpy when she's hungry.
We're gonna get it.
Like, it if was anyone else, I wouldn't care, but (Laughs) Look, just--hey, just-- just look at the menu.
Great job, De Niro.
Hysterical! Did you have fun? Yeah, it was hysterical.
Well, she's ripping you a new one now.
(Laughs) I'm sure.
I would, too.
Scott is the (bleep) boyfriend of Kourtney Kardashian.
He's kind of, like--every time you see him on the show or whatever he's doing, he's kind of always acting like a douche, a "higher above everybody" attitude.
Because he has money and has this big (bleep) huge following.
He thinks he's, uh, the ultimate celebrity.
He's--he's not a musician.
He's just an (bleep).
Whenever we meet someone that's like that, we call them a Scott.
An (bleep) douche bag.
No respect.
The ultimate douche.
"Ultimate douche.
" (Chuckles) She doesn't seem like she's already in a good mood.
All right, Scott, so here's the deal.
Go back in there.
Go to your table, and once Dayla sits down and Brianna leaves, our actress Ashley is gonna make her way over to you and ask you for an autograph, and you're gonna give her the Scott Disick that she thinks she knows.
So really spice it up a little bit? Really spice it up.
Scott Disick is the ultimate douche bag.
Does somebody step in if she tries to kill me or anything? We've got security.
All right, man.
All right.
Good luck to you.
Go do your thing.
See you in a second.
(Speaks indistinctly) All right.
He's going in now.
It should get good.
Well, my apologies.
Follow me.
We'll get you seated.
Go, go go on, give it to him go, go go on, give it to him (Chuckles) (Lowered voice) What's he doing back there? I know.
Like, what can we do? Don't think I'm crazy.
What? I really want to get his autograph.
Are you serious? Yeah.
But what does he do? I just moved out here.
He's on a show.
But you don't-- Are you serious? (Chuckles) He's famous.
My sister-- I know my sister watches, like, "The Kardashians," and I want to get it for her.
Do you want me to get one for you, too? No.
All right.
Let's-- hopefully he's gonna be nice.
(Singsongy) All right.
Do you have, like, your book that you carry around? (Laughs) That's cute.
(Giggles) Um What? Hey.
I-I was just wondering if we could have your autograph.
I got--just--can you just-- like, when I leave or something? It's such a pain in the ass.
I mean-- like, I came here 'cause I didn't think there would be anybody here, so You don't have to be mean to her.
I-I, you know, I'm bothered by you everywhere.
Okay, wait.
Your food's not even here.
I will-- it'll take a second to just, like, sign your name.
So I'll do it when I leave! Like, it--it's just better-- like, I don't need to be bothered with this.
Take her-- when I leave! I want to eat, Benny.
Your food's not even here.
Is it bothering you? I want to just relax! I came here for privacy.
It doesn't matter.
There's people--I'm here.
She's here.
Just, like, sign her autograph for her sister.
Will you please sign? Like, how hard can it be? I-I make money for (bleep) Like this.
I don't need to be bothered.
It's not hard for me to be an obnoxious (bleep).
I've done it before, so I do have experience, but today I'm gonna really take it over the top, hopefully drive her crazy.
I totally would have thought it would have been totally different than just, like-- you're not really gonna talk (bleep) about me now, are you? No, I am.
I mean, she's legitimately pissed, and she's standing up to me.
I mean, it's working out great.
This girl despises me.
Coming up (Beeps) "The Scott"? The Scott.
It's better than "the douche.
" But that's kinda what it means, so, um I think we should do something that a normal person does.
A bathroom? You want me to clean a bathroom? Is that too low for you? Yeah.
(Bleep) that.
(Chuckles) Oh, my goodness.
And later Eva Longoria is racist against herself.
She just doesn't like being Latina.
(Bleep) that.
I hate you, Eva.
I've been listening to everything you've been saying.
Oh, my God.
(Chuckles) Welcome back to "H8R.
" Madness is going on right now with Scott Disick.
I would-- totally would have thought it would have been totally different than just, like-- are you--are-- you're not really gonna talk (bleep) about me now, are you? No, I am.
I am.
I saw the rant Dayla went on, and she seems like she has a real passion for hating me I think you're an (bleep).
Am I--for what reason? You don't even know me.
Are you serious right now? And I realized, if I'm gonna make this work, I've really gotta step up the obnoxious game.
She came to you to ask for a simple autograph.
It's--it would've took you three seconds.
If you lived the life I live, then maybe you would understand that I'd like some privacy for once in my life.
Okay, well, you should've-- Do you know what it's like to be private? Are you a private person? I am, but you should've sat by yourself.
You don't have to be an (bleep), especially when you're in front of other people.
You should've told them to move you.
I'm a big star.
I don't need to be dealing with you peasants like this.
Peasants? (Chuckles) Oh, yeah.
" Peasants.
We're peasants, apparently.
She's, like, pissed and mesmerized all at the same time.
It hasn't gotta be like-- I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
I think you're mildly attracted to me.
It seems like you guys tried to get me riled up, to get into a confrontation, hoping that somewhere (Chuckles) You guys would probably get my phone number, so here it is, ladies.
Here's your shot.
You want some? Is that it? Like, leave me alone.
Like, this is ridiculous.
(Laughs) Ben, am I right? You're so rude.
Don't get him started again.
Get me two double vodkas with a lime.
I cannot--I really can't Two double vodkas? Agree with that statement.
(Chuckles) I'm not-- Get me a drink.
A lime drink! Drink, drink, drink! Did he just throw a drink at him? Unbelievable! And he (Chuckles) What the hell? Are you really throwing drinks? I'm sorry.
You're gonna get them drinks before-- just get me a drink.
Two vodkas, double, like I said.
Two vodkas, double.
Okay, so now you know how we feel about being sat before us.
You're the one that's trying to attack me from the get-go, just 'cause you're in love with me.
Are you serious? 'Cause I'm in love with you? Are you? I felt it.
Because I'm pretty sure I would have said that.
I'm pretty sure I can feel the body language.
That's kinda something really drastic.
You came all the way over here.
You sat next me, and now you're here.
I'm sorry, but come on.
Why are you leaving? Really? Yeah, have a good day.
Nice meeting you.
This is why I will not come to a public restaurant.
I appreciate your time.
Then don't.
Eat at home.
Oh, my God.
Good job.
Well, at least he's gone.
Was it good? It was great, dude.
We were howling back here.
Don't be an (bleep).
That's so lame.
So we're going in for the big close right now.
See, she--she-- Do we both go in? You're gonna go in first and ask her and say--say, "Listen, I heard all the things that you were saying about me.
Not very nice.
What if people said all these unkind things about you?" And just keep going.
Don't reveal it's a show yet, 'cause I will come in at that point.
Stay in character, though, okay? Perfect.
And I'll be in to reveal in a second.
All right.
So I'll see you.
All right.
Didn't affect him, so I'm sorry.
And he's still here.
I gotta be honest with you.
Do you mind? You mind? No.
Go ahead.
A second? (Chuckles) Go ahead.
I'm not looking for somebody that doesn't know me to hate me like this.
I mean, you're calling me a douche bag, an (bleep) Yeah, I did.
A lowlife.
I did not call you a lowlife.
Do you--do you really think all of these things are really true about me? I'm just saying, is there anything that you'd love to get across-- I'm here-- that you said when I wasn't here? Do you want to say it? Say it now, 'cause it's the one time you're gonna see me.
I said, you're the ultimate douche.
What does that mean to you? It means that you're an (bleep).
The ultimate douche? Yes.
It means that you're an (bleep).
Then you don't what it's like to be a big-time celebrity.
I never said I did.
Those words never came out of my mouth.
Hi, Dayla.
How are you? Oh, my God.
(Laughs) What the hell? Mario.
Very nice to meet you.
You are on a show called "H8R," my dear oh, my God.
And there are hidden cameras all over this place Oh, my God.
(Laughs) And you're on this show because we know that you're a Scott Disick hater.
So Mario comes in.
Girl's totally surprised, taken back.
She doesn't really know what's going on.
Scott has been, uh, pretty much playing up the image that you think he is.
(Laughs) The exact image that I don't want everybody to think.
It's actually not as easy as I thought to be a completely obnoxious (bleep), and it's kinda scary to think that this is really what this girl thinks of me.
Spend a little time with Scott If you'll give me the chance.
You don't have to.
No pressure.
To give him an opportunity to--for you to get (Chuckles) To know him a little bit, and then afterwards maybe you can, uh, give your opinion and judge him then.
Maybe you won't be a hater after all.
What do you think? (Sighs) I wouldn't mind.
I'll try.
Oh, good.
You wouldn't mind spending a little time? Deal? Yeah.
All right, Dayla.
I don't know.
I can't take your word for it.
We've got a deal.
I gotta see it in action.
We've merged a deal.
Your attitude was just kinda--it--it sucked ultimately.
It just sucked.
The ultimate douche? Yes.
This girl's got some (bleep) To look me in my face and call me the ultimate douche.
To witness what I just witnessed, it kinda just adds to everything that I thought about you.
I can't lie to you.
I think I definitely have a chance at turning her around, because there's a possibility this girl's got a crush on me deep down, so we'll see where it takes us.
Coming up I think we should do something that a normal person does.
Can Scott prove he's a regular guy? This is so tedious.
We always got bathrooms.
A bathroom? You want me to clean a bathroom? (Speaks indistinctly) Yeah.
(Bleep) that.
(Chuckles) Oh, my goodness.
Will it be enough? All right, so there is a question I have to ask you.
Are you still a hater? Mm I live that rock star life that rock star life paparazzi cameras in sight everywhere I go I live that rock star life Really? (Alarm chirps) It goes with the thing.
Are you serious right now? So Scott picks me up in this ridiculous Lamborghini-- bright yellow, so everyone can see it.
(Engine revving) These are not made for comfort.
I mean, really? Is this what you're using to make me not be a hater, because that just kinda doesn't-- it d-- it didn't work at all.
(Engine revving) So is this, like, your everyday car? No.
I usually drive, like, a rolls.
(Chuckles) I'm just kidding.
I mean, I do, but I'm just kidding.
No, I have a-- You're not kidding.
I know you're not kidding.
No, no.
(Laughs) But, uh, in my defense, I don't drive tacky cars for other people to look at me.
I actually have loved cars, like, since I was a little kid.
(Sighs) You're not too into the flashy (bleep), huh? I mean, uh, whatever floats your boat.
Dayla has her mind made up, and I think she has some decent reasons to hate me, but I really, really want to kinda open her eyes and make her understand that I'm not all bad.
Mario thought it would be the right move to go bowling, and I think everybody can relate to that.
A decent place to talk, get to know one another, have a little fun, so we're here, and we'll see where it takes us.
(Clicks) (Clatter) You're gonna be on Lane 23.
Lane 23? Yeah.
Do you have socks? This is (Speaks indistinctly) (Beeps) Is that cool? I mean, you know "The Scott"? The Scott.
It's better than "the douche.
" It could've-- but that's kinda what it means.
You know it's all about them dollars boy, don't make no sense so tell 'em what's up so tell 'em what's up what's up Uh-oh.
Oh, you're trying to hustle me.
Definitely the ball.
Definitely the ball.
You know, I think Dayla had her mind set with hating on me.
I definitely don't think she's an easy girl to crack, but I'm gonna try to really show her the real side of me and hopefully win her over.
I'm trying.
You did okay.
Scott--he's being okay.
Like, he bowled with me, and I'm kinda--kinda feeling it a little bit more, but I still have a few questions for him.
So what do you do? Like-- for a career? Yeah, like, what do you do for-- I'm in the vitamin business.
I still want to know if he moved up in life.
Did he work, start at the bottom like most people? Are you, like, what, like the c.
? Would he stoop down to our "peasant" level and, um, and basically do what everyone else does? Have you ever had, like, a real--like, a job job? Like, maybe make-- you know, most people-- did I ever start from, like, the bottom? Yeah, did you, like, what-- or did you just automatically I would say I was always interested in trying to do whatever I could to make things as easy as possible, and I kinda succeeded in that, but I do work every day and, you know, try my best.
So you've never, you know, had to Work for anything to-- see these hands? Not a hard day of labor, baby.
(Chuckles) Ohh.
Well, I think we should, um, you know, do something that a normal person does.
Like example? I think maybe since we're at the bowling alley, let's, like, try to Work with what we got.
We're having what I thought was a decent game bowling, and all of sudden she wants to ask me if I've done any hard labor and this and that.
It's, like, come on, lady.
You don't care that much about my upbringing, so it seems pretty (bleep) pointless.
Let me see you be like us.
There's nobody here.
Well, I just feel like, we drove all the way here, can't we just enjoy the bowling? I mean, we can, but I'm trying to understand, like, who you are as a person.
I--'cause, I mean, I, personally, you know, I've had to work for everything that I have.
Come on.
Talk is cheap.
Show me.
What do you have to offer to show me that you're not this douche bag? I want to know.
I really want to know.
Do you mind? Can we come back here and work a little bit? We always got cleaning, so, um, I've got some shoes here.
Let's clean the shoes.
All right.
I'll clean some shoes.
Spray the gum remover (Spritzes) And let it dry for a minute.
Then you scrape it off.
This is just exactly what interests me.
I mean, people do it, right? They gotta make a living.
No, I hear you.
You gotta make money.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
Look, I-I don't know what kind of (bleep) you're into (Chuckles) Oh, I'm-- But, like I'm just asking you to try see, uh-- but do you really think, like, that's actually gonna be able to, like, get to know the real me, is cleaning gum off a shoe? Well, I mean, you could've been the ultimate douche, like I think you are, and totally said no.
You still do? Oh, my goodness.
I mean, come on, people.
I'm not saying, I'm above anybody else, but I'm not a shoe cleaner.
(Scraping) You gotta put some elbow grease.
Like, what is up? This is so tedious.
You know, these people do this every day.
They get paid for this.
And I thank God every night that I'm not one of them.
When Scott agreed to clean off the shoes, I was really surprised.
He could've easily said no, but he went with it.
This just sucks.
But I still think Scott is a little bit afraid of manual labor.
I got a bathroom that's kinda--kinda-- oh, well, is that-- Can you do that? A bathroom? You want me to clean a bathroom? Is that too low for you? Yeah.
(Bleep) that.
(Chuckles) Oh, my goodness.
Look, I want to try to win her over the best I can, but there's only so much I can take.
I mean, now everybody's getting carried away here.
We can do-- I mean, that's just disgusting.
People do it.
I tried to get him to clean a bathroom, but he wasn't having it.
Uh, I don't know if I would have had it, so I cannot hate him for that.
(Laughs) You know, that's-- that's pretty normal.
Coming up But, you know-- have you ever been hated by anybody like you've hated me? No.
You're gonna tell me nobody's ever hated somebody who sits on her fat ass talking (bleep)? I'll tell you who hates you.
I (bleep) hate you.
With a passion.
And later Eva Longoria-- she just doesn't like being Latina.
(Bleep) that.
I hate you, Eva.
I've been listening to everything you've been saying.
Oh, my God! See that? Yeah.
I'm a gentleman to you.
So I got Scott to do a little manual labor.
He wasn't really working too hard with it, but he was doing it, so I kind of saw a little bit of non-douchiness in Scott, but I still feel like, that I need to get to know Scott a little bit more before I can actually know whether or not I'm still a hater.
I'm not gonna try to put any kind of act on and make you right.
Think of me a certain way.
I mean, I am who I am.
I'm not exactly what you think I am.
I'm not the guy screaming at all times.
That whole arrogant attitude.
I'm not throwing water at waiters, you know? So that whole "I'm above everyone else" attitude kinda--it's not-- well, I'll be honest with you.
It's not really who you are, or are you-- No, I definitely think there's certain people that I'm above.
But not people because of what they do or their work ethic mm.
But just genuinely because of the kind of person they are.
Like, if I see a guy treating his son poorly, I immediately say, "(Bleep) that guy.
I'm better.
" Well, of course.
But I don't want you to think that I look at classes of money or anything to that-- so it's not like a prejudgment, things like that? No, I mean, trust me.
At one point in my life, I totally thought I was better than people.
I was obnoxious.
I was rude, and then I-- so that whole attitude was completely--that was you? Oh, yeah.
Okay, so I was right? Like, I w-- hell, yeah.
You know, I've looked back, and, you know, I've had some pretty low points in my life.
I got a lot of anger issues.
My father was angry for, like, a point in my life, you know? I broke my whole entire hand.
I had to have hand surgery and all my tendons were torn, because I was drunk and punched a mirror.
You know, it was-- at the time, it felt like it didn't mean anything to me, and then I realized that it was like, I can't go on with my life like this.
I-I have a kid.
Something's bigger than me.
You know, I do have to set a good example now, and family.
You are a father.
It would be hard for me to ever imagine my son hearing bad things about his father, and, you know, there's things that I had to change, and I know that, and, you know, I see a therapist and whatnot.
I can't please everybody, but Mm-hmm.
The close people to me are happy.
You know what I mean? Right.
That's true.
You know I mean, what really matters is that you're trying to change, 'cause, I mean, when I saw you earlier, I was really, really I I hated you.
When me and Scott started talking, he admitted to me that he was this ultimate douche in the past, and now he's trying to just recreate himself and show people that he's not this person anymore.
He wants to change.
He wants people to see that he is a human being, so I kinda commend him on that, that he is trying to change it up and be a better person.
All right, so there is a question I have to ask you.
Are you still a hater? Huh, mm (Sighs) You know, I I have to say that I'm not a hater anymore.
That's surprising.
And I have to say that it barely changed about five minutes ago.
(Laughs) I definitely-- I do have a different take on you.
I'm It's, you know, I'm--I'm glad.
I think I kinda was going more towards you still being a douche bag right.
But when you kind of ad-- yeah.
Admitted to me yeah.
That you were this person and that you are changing and that you are, you know, trying to be a totally different person, especially when it comes to your family yeah.
It helped me, of course.
That was the whole point.
Have you ever been hated by anybody like you've hated me? Like, hate? Like-- Yeah.
I've never given anyone a reason to hate me, I don't think.
You know, I-I try to treat-- nobody in your life has ever hated you? No, I try to-- I try to treat people with as much r-- What are you, Mother Teresa? No, not at all, but I try to treat people with respect.
(Bleep) respect.
Someone's hated you before.
Want to be respected.
For your "above all" mentality-- You're telling me, never in your life did you ever hear that somebody said something really unkind about you to somebody you know? No.
Never? Never.
My God.
You're an amazing person, huh? No, or I just never-- I never heard it.
It never got back to me that someone-- Did you get homeschooled? You know (Chuckles) There's only so far I can go with being a nice guy.
Never gotten into a fight with a best friend? I've never gotten into a fight with anyone.
You've never been in a fight with anybody? I've never gotten into a fight with someone.
Ever? No.
When she's getting into, nobody's ever hated her in her life and this and that, you're gonna tell me, nobody's ever hated somebody who sits on her fat ass watching reality shows, talking (bleep) about every (bleep) person on there, and no one's hated her? My ass.
I'll tell you who hates you.
I (bleep) hate you with a passion.
You wanna finish the bowling game? Yeah, I'm gonna win.
You know, I wish I could say that it felt like a million bucks to change her attitude, but I think of her as less than nothing at this point, so it was a fun experience to see that I could turn a hater around, and she turned me around, and now I hate the hater.
The hater has been hated.
I mean, you should come out and do this on a regular basis.
It's always fun.
Bring your friends.
Bring your family.
Next time I see Mario Lopez, I plan to put rat poisoning in his next Margarita, because this was straight torture.
Look, I'm a nice guy to the people that are important to me, but for somebody I don't know that's just gonna judge me, I do not have the time to win them all over.
I did it today.
I'm appreciative that I got the opportunity, but I sure as (bleep) won't be doing it again any time soon.
I've got better things to do, like drive my yellow (bleep) Lamborghini.
I get to drive the Lambo, right? No.
No, really.
Like, can I drive? (Chuckles) I'd rather get kicked in the face with a golf shoe.
Coming up Eva Longoria is no true Latina.
It's Eva Longoria's hater, caught on hidden camera.
That's like being racist on yourself.
But what will the hater say to her face? Hi, you guys.
Oh, my God.
(Chuckles) (Chuckles) I've been listening to everything you've been saying.
Wow! Hey.
I'm Mario Lopez, and this is "H8R.
" Now you may know her as Gaby on "Desperate Housewives.
" That's hardly all Eva Longoria is known for.
This golden globe-nominated actress is a tireless activist in support of Latino causes, even earning "The Hollywood Reporter's" philanthropist of the year award.
(Camera shutters clicking) So with all that goodwill, who the heck could hate on Eva? So sitting with me is Eva Longoria And we're cruising down Hollywood boulevard right now (Horn honks) About to meet her hater.
Have you ever met a hater of yours before? I didn't know I had haters.
What is your biggest concern, like, meeting, uh, a hater? That they're mean, 'cause there's different kinds of haters.
I think a hater sometimes is jealous.
There's a jealous one, who just wants your life.
Um, there's some crazy ones that are just crazy.
It's the mean that I am scared of.
Is this person mean? Well, we're gonna find out.
Meet your hater.
Your hater Christian doesn't know I'm showing this to you.
He thought he was auditioning for a different reality show, and we asked him about you.
With Eva Longoria, I just have this little twig that's on "Desperate Housewives" that doesn't even, like, speak Spanish to me.
Well, Eva Longoria, I think, is, uh, racist against herself.
She just doesn't like being Latina.
(Bleep) that.
What's wrong with being brown? Why you gotta hate on us? Wow.
She's skinny.
What the hell? What Latina's skinny? That's so wrong.
I'm offended.
(Chuckles) He hasn't seen my ass.
Bitch can't even (bleep) dance salsa.
(Claps hands) Eva Longoria, you need to take some notes from my girl J.
I hate you, Eva.
Get over it.
(Gasps) Oh, my God.
M-my jaw is on the floor right now.
This person's obviously uneducated about what I do in the Latino community.
The core of who I am is Mexican, and that's (Inhales deeply) It's offensive for somebody to not see that, that it pours out of every pore of my body.
All right, Eva.
We're outside your place, Beso Hollywood.
We've got Christian, your hater (Beeps) Who thinks his friend is bringing him to the restaurant for a private tasting.
What he doesn't know is that his friend is also our accomplice (Beeps) And the girl at the bar is an actress working for us.
(Beeps) When the accomplice leaves, the hater will be alone with our actress, who will get him to talk about you, and we have hidden cameras set up everywhere.
All right, we're gonna go hang out upstairs, watch what's going on, and then at one point you will confront him and see if he, uh, has the courage to say what he had to say to your face.
To hate on me while I'm in his face? Hate on--hate in your face.
We'll see.
All right.
All right.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Let's do it.
So--and I'll invite you back, okay? Oh, my God.
I'm so nervous.
Have you been here before? No.
I've never been.
It's really nice.
I know.
I think the hostess said that, like, somebody famous owns this place.
Oh, I-I don't know who-- Oh, it's Eva Longoria.
Eva Longoria.
That's what it is.
Doesn't she, like, not like being Latina? Like, doesn't she not-- What? (Gasps) Yeah, right? I was like, "Ohh.
" Eva Longoria is no true Latina.
One, she's too skinny.
Two, she can't even dance salsa.
If she's saying she doesn't want to be considered Latina, like, what the hell is that? She's ignoring her roots, you know what I mean? She's ignoring La raza familia.
Like, come on.
What the--what's up with that? That's like being racist on yourself.
I hate when people think they're all that, coming up with, uh, a little snooty, uh, attitude.
It's, like (Scoffs) Yeah, and I'm thinking, like-- who are you? It's like exactly.
I'm sorry.
Don't I watch you? Don't you get paid 'cause I watch you? (Laughs) You're welcome.
You should be like, "Thank you.
" You don't even like being brown, and you're playing somebody? What the hell is that? All right, Eva, so Christian doesn't think you're Latina enough.
Are you gonna tell him what's up? (Laughs) Yeah.
I'm gonna go Latina on him.
All right.
(Chuckles) Okay.
You know what? Probably she doesn't like being Latina, because they're always like, "Oh, they're curvaceous," and she's not as curvaceous, but I think she should just eat something.
Like, skinny people are always mean.
Being a Latina requires you to have a little, you know, Booty, a little, you know, sassy, a little extra, you know? Unh! Some work there, and (Sighs) She's like a toothpick.
You need to go? Hi, you guys.
Hey! Oh, my God! (Chuckles) I saw you guys sitting over here.
Oh, my God! Can I sit? Hello.
Oh, my God.
(Chuckles) (Chuckles) How are you? I'm good.
I'm Eva.
I'm Christian.
Christian, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
I've been listening to everything you've been saying, and I was wondering Wow! Wow! If you could say any of that to me? Yeah.
Well, wow.
Oh, my gosh.
It's nice to meet you.
How are you? (Chuckles) Muy bien.
ÿAsi habla Español? Si.
Claro que yo hablo Español.
No sabia.
Yo-- I--but, you know, antes-- ÿno sabia? Yeah.
Yo--yo escuche antes que tu no queria ser Latina, or no que--no tienes eso-- so you thought--you thought that I wasn't Latina.
Yeah, or, like, that you wouldn't claim it.
Like, what's up with that? Why would you think that? I--that's what I read, so just-- well, you know, what's so funny is, I never-- Nothing ever bothers me.
I don't care if people don't like my acting.
I don't care if people don't like me.
What stirred me up is that Go.
Let's get out there.
The essence of who I am is Latina and Mexicana, and so I want to-- I wanted to confront you, because I feel like you were hating on me without knowing me, and that is a judgment that should never happen unless you know somebody.
And it's the one thing you can't say, is that I'm racist against my peeps.
(Laughs) How are you doing, Christian? Hey.
Oh, my-- Mario.
Nice to meet you, man.
Nice to meet you.
Christian, you are on a show called "H8R.
" I want to show you the camera right here.
Oh, my God.
Where's (Gasps) Oh, my God! (Laughs) Oh, my God.
(Chuckles) Oh, my God! Coming up all right.
Get over here.
Things get spicy in the kitchen.
You're showing me you're Latina by yelling at me.
You're cabezon.
You're stubborn.
You said that I'm too skinny That's right.
But did you see how big my ass is? No, I did not.
Do you think my ass is big enough? No.
(Laughs) How are you doing, Christian? Hey.
Oh, my-- Mario.
Nice to meet you, man.
Nice to meet you.
Christian, you are on a show called "H8R.
" I want to show you the camera right here.
Oh, my God.
Where's (Gasps) Oh, my God! (Laughs) Oh, my God.
(Chuckles) Christian, I gotta say Oh, my God! I was even bothered, because you were saying some unkind things about my dear friend, and it's not really cool, you know, to kinda judge people like that hate on people.
Hate on people without knowing them, right? So if you wouldn't mind, Eva is gonna be so cool as to want to spend a little time with you (Chuckles) So you can judge her fairly after that.
We set up something really cool, and if, uh, if you like it, then, uh, you know I-- we'll, uh-- we'd be good to go.
Oh, my God.
Well God.
I'm so embarrassed that she heard, but that's okay.
I still have got to man up, and I still have got to talk to her about it.
Well, every good Latina knows how to cook, so I'm gonna--I'm-- Yeah, the good ones.
The good ones (Laughs) And I'm gonna show you how to cook, and you're gonna help me.
What did you think before about me cooking? I honestly didn't think you could cook.
No? No.
How long have you been cooking? Since I was 5.
All right, this is gonna be a chili rub skirt steak.
I already put the chili on it, so you're-- What did you put? I put Chile.
It's, like, uh, you know, Chile.
Mexicans--I'm Mexican Okay.
So we like to eat a lot of Chile and limon on everything, so we put Chile over it, and we're gonna put a little salt, and then we're just gonna throw that on the grill.
(Laughs) Got it.
There you go.
Now we're gonna make guacamole.
All right.
Get over here! Coming.
You're gonna have the bowl.
Wow, you're showing me you're Latina by yelling at me.
I know.
(Laughs) So far, so good.
So I'm gonna chop this, and then you're gonna scoop that and put that in the bowl.
All right.
Throw that in there.
Is this your guacamole or what? This did you make this? Is a family recipe.
I grew up on a farm.
Where? In Texas.
Then we have some tomatoes and jalapeño, because I love spice.
We love the spice.
We love the spice.
Now you can mix that all together.
How many brothers and sisters do you have? I have three sisters, and, you know, my-- Are you the oldest? I'm the baby.
I'm the oldest.
Oh, you're the oldest? Of three.
This is why you're cabezon, you're stubborn.
So why do you think it's okay to hate on people? You know, if people are gonna put themselves out on a public forum, they should be able to understand that everyone's gonna ring in and say something.
As negative as it could be, it is the truth.
Right, and I agree with that, 'cause sometimes there's celebrities that go, "I hate being famous," and I think that there's a responsibility that you take, being in the public eye, to be able to confront people like this, is because not everybody's gonna agree on-- Right.
On what they think of you, and not everybody's gonna like you.
I'm very proud of who I am and how I was raised.
I have very beautiful Mexican parents.
I have very beautiful sisters.
We're very proud of our culture.
It has always been the root of why I'm good at what I do, is because I'm so grounded in who I am and where I come from.
These are our famous steak tacos, and you put the guacamole on top of it.
Of course.
Christian, you seem like such an intelligent guy.
Thank you.
I don't understand why you would be a hater of anything, because you seem like you would do the research and go, "That's somebody leading in our community.
Let me find out if that's true.
" So why would you-- why would you hate? It's the--it's the-- it is the proud-- the Latino in me that, like, you--you set me off, I'm like a firecracker, you know? I, like, I attack, so it's good to know that you are actually making a difference for Latinos everywhere, because, like, we do need that positive--uh, you c-- uh, everybody needs a positive influence in life, you know, and we have tons of, like, bullying happening right now, like, with gays-- well, you know that hating-- hating is that.
Is a form of bullying.
It is.
It is.
I was--I was bullying you Mm-hmm.
And wow.
And now you're feeding me.
You said that I'm too skinny, but did you see how big-- how big my ass is? No, I did not.
Do you think my ass is big enough? No, I think you need to eat some more, Eva.
(Chuckles) All right.
Get the corn tortilla chips.
Let's be real.
I'm having him work in the kitchen.
I know.
Already yelling at me.
Work in the kitchen.
(Laughs) Wow, you're good.
Get to work.
Put the guac on that one.
Yes, ma'am.
God, you know, you hate when they burst your bubble.
Even if it's in a good way, it's still, "God, you popped my bubble!" And she did.
Coming in, I thought she was a pure coconut, you know-- Brown, maybe a little hairy on the outside, all white on the inside.
But then she's actually cooking.
She's, you know, making her guacamole, yelling at me and telling me what to do.
Total Latina.
Oh, she's just like my mom.
It's good to, like, meet you in person, 'cause, you know, when you hear things and you just, like, go off of that, it is good to--or it's-- It's great to know that(Chuckles) You know, you shouldn't always listen to that.
It's humbling to see that someone is putting that much effort in showing that, you know, "I am a proud Latina.
" Like, I do want people to know that they can grow up and be proud of who they are, of where they come from, of loving their family.
And it's good to hear that coming from you, being, you know, on the--on the, um, on the podium that you're on.
So I-I've gotta ask, are you still a hater? I'm a lover now.
(Chuckles) (Laughs) I love you.
Oh, my gosh.
Very good.
Oh, my gosh.
(Laughs) It was nice to get to know Christian.
He's actually really, really intelligent, so it surprised me that he had such a strong opinion about me, based on, uh, on misinformation just told to him through hearsay, and so it was nice to know that he is capable of change, and he did, in fact, change his perception of me.
I'm glad I got to change your perception, and I think it's-- it's your job to help change other people's perceptions to not judge so quickly.
Yeah, not to judge a book by its That's your job.
Yes, ma'am.
I'm on it.
(Laughs) Good.
She really proved to me that she is a nice, down-to-earth Latina from the South.
She's got her family.
She's got her roots.
She loves who she is, and she's cool with that, and it was so awesome to see that and hear that right in front of me.
We have to go salsa dancing.
I'll show you.
We should bring Mario, too.
I'll show you right now.
Oh, my gosh.
(Laughs) (Salsa music playing) Yeah.
(Chuckles) Get it.
Where did you learn salsa? My dad's Peruvian.
Just because she doesn't wear it on her sleeve, doesn't mean she's not Latina.
She's really down about that, and--and it was cool to hear that, 'cause now I know, all I need to do is live my life good, you know, be a good example for others.
That is enough to show that you're a good Latino.
Oh, wait.
Now you gotta dip me.
Oh, I don't really know how to do it.
Aah! That's aah! (Laughs) Next time on "H8R" Kim Kardashian-- I hate her ass.
Her ass is not real.
This is real.
Oh! Come on.
(Bleep) hate Kim K.
One of the biggest names in reality TV confronts her hater.
Is Tina here? And then why are you even breathing my air and taking up my space? Pig, pig, pig boy.
Pig boy.
"Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis feels the hate.
You are every mom's worst nightmare.
Can he prove he's an average Joe? I wanna see if I can turn my hater into a lover.
Mirrors aren't on the ceiling now, Becky, right? Or will he reveal too much? (Camera shutter clicking) It's a real "Girls Gone Wild" photo shoot.
What do you think?