Harry Wild (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

When Harry Met Fergus

1 It is most gratifying, I must say, to see such an impressive turnout.
I'm sure most of you are here to make sure I don't change my mind.
Almost rid of the old witch.
Those of you that will be happy to see the back of me, it'll probably be because I was hard on you over the years.
I want you to know that I was hard on you because you are arrogant little shits.
I see your type year after year.
You take this course because you think, "Oh, it's easy.
Only books.
" To you I say that you are shameful waste of skin and air.
Had you paid attention these last three years, you would know that the mathematicians and scientists tell us how we are here.
Historians can tell us when, but only literature can tell us why.
Those of you who did pay attention I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
You've made this all worthwhile.
And now I have a little surprise for all of you.
Hip-hip Hooray! Hip-hip-hip Hooray! Hip-hip-hip - Hooray! - Whoo-hoo! Ah! You're making a huge mistake.
Don't be ridiculous.
I never make mistakes.
What are you gonna do with yourself in retirement? I don't know.
All the things I never had time for.
Sort out the attic.
Do some gardening.
Write that great novel.
Oh! I may even spend some time with my granddaughter.
You don't like children.
Well, she'll be interesting in a year or two, hopefully.
Unless she takes after her mother.
Did you invite Charlie tonight? God, no! I'm planning on getting shit-faced and snogging the new archaeology professor.
History prof.
Made almost the same speech at his retirement.
That he wanted to snog the new archaeology professor? No.
I think he wanted to spend more time caravanning or something else similarly wretched.
Yeah, I remember.
So Six months later -- dead.
And this, Graham, is why you're not invited to more parties.
To Harry.
To Harry! Concerns are growing for Kayleigh Connor, the wife and mother who vanished in the Crumlin area of Dublin Aliens, I bet.
Sorry? It's an abduction, isn't it? Aliens.
It's just a theory.
I could be wrong.
I'm Glenn.
You a friend of Harry's? - From the college, yes.
- Oh.
I always thought about going to college back in Wales, but, uh, in the end, decided it wasn't for me.
It's not for everyone.
I've got one of the highest IQs if not the highest IQ in the world.
Never been tested or nothing, but I can answer pretty much all the questions on "Pointless.
" Right.
So, uh, what do you do? Oh, bit of this, bit of that.
Work in a phone repair shop part time.
I'm not much of a drinker, actually.
One can't hurt.
Go on.
Is that the sound of our hearts beating? It's better if you don't talk.
What have we got, Vics? No ID.
Been here a day.
Two at the most.
Furniture's been moved.
Marks on the floor.
Whoever did this wanted to direct our eye.
When Catherine returns from Thrushcross Grange, she is a very different Catherine to the one who left.
Heathcliff, who has pined for his soul mate, is unnerved by this new and -- Uh, Fergus what are you doing? Just cutting out the middle man, sir.
I was gonna take myself to Mr.
Ellis' office, 'cause that's where you're gonna be sending me in about 30 seconds.
Look, I'll be honest.
It's way too hot in here, and I haven't heard a word you've said about Pride and thingy all lesson.
It's "Wuthering Heights.
" That's exactly my point! Look.
You're gonna tell me to sit down.
I'm going to politely decline, and you're gonna tell me that I'm too cocksure.
So I'll say, "I am very sure of my cock, sir.
Thanks for noticing.
" You'll tell me to stop being so filthy.
I'll say, "That's not what your wife said last night," and that'll make the tick in your eye start up -- like so.
So I'll make a make a joke about you giving me the wink, eh, say, "I'm not really into you like that, sir.
Can we just be friends?" And you'll tell me to get out of your class, so I will.
I just thought I'd save us both some time and unnecessary aggravation.
All right? Okay, fella.
Oh! Oh, God.
Vicky, I want to keep you on motive.
Just dig up financials, relationship -- whatever we can get on the guy.
So, I hear you have an ID on your victim.
Take it away, Jordan.
Leonard Walsh, sir.
Did a stint in the Midlands for child sex abuse.
He came back here after he was released.
He was on the streets within a year.
Gonna be a long list of people who wanted to harm a man like that.
Good work.
Charlie, a word.
I'm sorry to do this, but I'm gonna have to move a couple of your people over to the Kayleigh Connor case.
Of course.
Uh, I understand.
It's my mother.
She's been assaulted.
What's wrong? That was your father.
Your granny's coming to stay.
Oh, Harry.
Are you okay? Look.
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna fuss.
I'm afraid you've missed Lola.
She's staying at a friend's.
I'm quite tired.
I might just go to bed if that's all right.
Of course.
Um I'll bring your case in.
Shout if you need me.
Is she okay? She'll be fine.
You know my mother.
I couldn't hear her.
I've got a meeting first thing, but I can always -- That's not necessary.
Hi, Granny.
Are you okay? Yes, dear.
I'm fine.
Look, I don't want you all rearranging your lives.
I-I'll be okay on my own.
You can piss right off, you little shit! Oh, that was delicious.
I've eaten too much.
Well, I told you not to have thirds.
Actually, uh, Harry, we don't allow smoking in the house.
Why do you have an ashtray, then? Uh, we don't.
Yeah, you do.
Over there.
Lola made that in infants! So, feeling good, then? It's "well," dear, not "good.
" Unless you're inquiring about the state of my morality rather than my health.
If you're that keen to get rid of me Of course not.
Just asking.
Well, I-I'm not gonna lie.
This whole thing's been very stressful.
Actually, Lola, you might be able to help.
Your school's a little rough, isn't it? I'm sure you can get your hands on some decent weed.
- Mother.
- Oh.
Don't they call it weed anymore? You can't ask your granddaughter to buy you drugs.
Oh, God.
Of course.
You're a copper.
You must know much better dealers than a 12-year-old.
- I'm 14.
- Are you sure? Harry, you can't bring narcotics into my house.
But it relaxes me.
And I forgot my vibrator.
I don't really want any weed.
I just wanted to see his face.
Very uptight, your parents.
Tell me about it.
How well do you remember your Elizabethan playwrights? Oh, Jesus.
Not now, Harry.
I'm running really late.
Edmund Porter -- Do you remember him? Well, I'd be surprised if you did.
He was a contemporary of Shakespeare and Marlowe, friend of the latter, um, always lived in their shadow.
Love, have you seen my phone? Oh, yeah.
It's by the toaster here.
This can't be a coincidence.
What can't? "Calabras," his best-known work -- although that's not saying much.
In Act 2, Scene 3, the painter kills his father.
Now, I'm not saying that yours is the son or a painter -- although it might be -- but the way the body was lying, with the head bashed in with the candles all around Are you talking about -- Did you read my casebook? Well, I couldn't sleep last night, so I -- Harry, you can't do that! Don't you raise your voice at me.
It's an official bloody document.
It's not for anyone to just flick through when the mood takes them.
I am just trying to help you.
- You are missing a crucial -- - Do not touch my work for any reason whatsoever.
Is that clear? Well, sod you! I'm just trying to help you.
Well, I'm not going to stay here and be spoken to like this.
I expect an apology next time I see you.
Don't hold your breath.
Oh, dear.
Oh, bugger.
It's Harry.
I, uh, need you to get me something a little a little unusual.
Kayleigh is a lovely mam, a terrific wife, and a great actress.
Our little girl, Kylie-Marie really wants her mam home.
If anyone has any information That was Kevin Connor.
You're sure about this, Harry? It's an automatic five-year sentence if you get caught with one of these.
I was crapping myself coming over here.
Give it over, then.
What's your Charlie gonna say, eh? Glenn.
All right.
All right.
I've said my piece.
It's fully charged, so be careful, okay? Wrist strap's a safety feature.
It's got to be on your wrist for it to work.
Someone tries to grab it off you, this pin will pop out, and it'll be useless.
Just means someone can't turn around and zap you.
You press this and this and This type, you've got to touch it to the person who's attacking you.
You push it up against 'em and press the buttons like I showed you.
It won'tkill them, though, will it? I don't know.
It's not my field.
I just know a bloke who knows a bloke.
It's got different settings, though -- low, medium Hi! What's that you've got, Harry? A book, is it? No, Glenn.
It's a flamingo.
I can see it's a book.
Looks old.
What's it about? It's about a painter who kills an actor, his own wife, and his father.
Sounds like my place at Christmas.
What's he do that for, then, murder all those people? Not right in the head, I'd say.
His wife was having an affair with the actor and the father.
His own father? Dirty old bastard.
First he hangs the actor, makes it look like suicide.
Then he drowns the wife in the bathtub, chops her up, and bakes her into a pie -- straight out of "Titus Andronicus.
" And then he bashes his father's brains in.
If I wanted to kill someone, you know what I'd do? I'd strangle 'em with a belt and put bondage porn on their computer, make it look like that auto-exotic fixation.
What happens in the end, then? Pigs get him, do they? FBI swoop in? This was written 430 years ago, Glenn.
Actually, he does get away with it.
The father is due to be remarried.
The painter steals away the father's bride, boards a boat to Bohemia, never to be seen again.
They were stealing women away back then.
They're still doing it today.
Should be a law against it, I say.
Well, there is a law against it.
It -- Are you talking about the woman on the news? Kayleigh Connor.
Maybe she's on a slow boat to Bohemia.
Why didn't I see this? Oh, my God.
You bloody beauty, Glenn.
Mm! I'll get it.
Someone else joining us, Charlie? Didn't invite anyone else.
We have to talk.
It's urgent.
- Charlie.
- This is your mother? Ray Tiernan.
Heard a lot about you.
Well, I've heard absolutely nothing about you.
Don't even know who you are.
- Charlie, we've got to talk now.
- Charlie.
Why does she keep saying your name? Is she having a stroke or something? Now is not a good time.
We have guests.
Really? So you've solved all the crime, then.
Well, that's a relief.
Vivian Mitchell-Tiernan.
Uh, no idea what you just said.
My name.
I'm assistant commissioner.
Please hold that thought.
Um Sorry.
You can't continue to do this.
Can you not just be normal? Would you just shut up? The play that I'm telling you about the killer doesn't get punished.
He gets rewarded.
The father was due to be married, and he gets the father's bride, Delilah.
She was an actress, star of the show.
Look, whoever bashed in Leonard Walsh's head kidnapped Kayleigh Connor.
- She's his Delilah.
- This has to stop! Kayleigh Connor's not a star.
She works in the bloody chipper.
But on the news, her husband said she was an actress.
Well, she's not.
She's part of some crappy little am-dram group who've never even put on a performance.
There's no connection! I am trying to tell you the connection.
The -- The killer has been twisting the play to suit his own sick desires.
He knew her.
He coveted her.
And how do we covet? Do we seek things out to covet? That's a-a quote, right? From, uh, Cicero or someone.
Hannibal Lecter, "Silence of the Lambs.
" - But don't you see? - No, I don't! You have no experience investigating a crime.
You're just seeing what you want to see.
But the candles.
There was no electricity in the house -- simple as that.
You can't be that obtuse.
I gave birth to you.
The first murder in the play was a hanged man made to look like a suicide.
And beside his body -- a peacock feather.
Surely you can look into those things.
I can check the feather log.
It's just like talking to your father.
- Don't say that.
- I just want to help you.
- Goodbye, Harry.
- No.
- You -- - Goodbye, Harry.
I just -- Glenn, it's Harry.
I need you to get an address for Kayleigh Connor's house.
Glenn, I've got to call you back.
Fergus! Fergus, look at me! Whoa, whoa, whoa, little stinker.
What you doing up there? Geez! What you trying to do? Give me a heart attack? Down you get.
Wah! You know not to get so high up without your big brother around, hey, smelly belly? Come on.
Let's go.
Only after bath time, though.
- Aww! - See? Oh, little stinker.
You know it's always bath time first.
Bath time, then TV, then some snacks if we're lucky, eh? Yeah.
Do we have any popcorn? Hmm.
Do we have any popcorn? You know, I think your older brother might find some popcorn for you in the cupboard there.
What's your favorite kind? Sweet and salty, eh? Yeah.
Boss, we've got something.
Damian Murphy is one of the kids Leonard Walsh abused 12 years ago.
He works at a homeless shelter on Pearse Street now.
He's got a record -- assault, always older men.
Bloody brilliant, Jord.
- Take Vicky.
Go pick him up.
- Boss.
Vivian Mitchell-Tiernan, assistant commissioner.
Just a courtesy call, see how you're holding up.
Family liaison officer was just here.
- She didn't say you were coming.
- Oh, came on a whim.
Heard you on the news.
It moved me.
I wanted to reassure you -- We will find Kayleigh.
Thank you.
You don't know how good that is to hear.
Leslie, the liaison officer, said you lot don't like making promises you can't keep.
Oh, this is one we will keep.
Trust me.
Tell me about Kayleigh.
She was an actress? Yeah.
It's a bit of an exaggeration.
It's her dream.
Always has been.
She joined an am-dram group, but it folded before it started.
The theater they hired was shut down by the bank, and only four of them turned up -- Kayleigh, Gwen -- she's 80-odd and deaf as a tree -- and Maurice and Bernie, a gay couple who started it.
I heard they immigrated to Canada.
"Emigrated" when they go, "immigrated" when they come.
It's -- It's not important.
What was the name of that theater? Uh, just out of interest.
Oh, that must be Leslie.
She just nipped out for some bread.
Leslie? Yeah.
The family liaison officer? Probably not a good idea if she sees me here.
It's a little bit against protocol, me coming like this.
You -- Do you have a back door? - Yeah.
- Oh.
Thank you.
Where did you say that am-dram group used to meet? Might be important.
You never know.
The Gantry in Dún Laoghaire.
Chin up, Mr.
We'll get her back lickety-split.
Is someone here? Who are you?! Aah! What the bloody hell was that?! Is this your theater? Feck off out of it, you mad bitch.
Yes, this is my theater.
Or was until the bank foreclosed.
Do you know who Kayleigh Connor is? No.
Should I? She was part of an am-dram group.
- They used to rehearse here.
- Oh.
I remember them.
They only came here a few times.
I never even met them.
Lloyd, the stage manager, used to let them in.
- Lloyd? Can I talk to him? - No.
Took the closure far worse than the rest of us.
Hung himself.
- Hanged.
- Huh? Pictures are hung, people hanged.
Anyway, he was the stage manager? Not an actor? Primarily, he was an actor but he was just a better stage manager.
Would anyone else have met them? Not really.
I mean, Colin would've been here.
He's my, uh, set designer who was working on, uh, our next production.
Colin who? Fountain.
Colin Fountain.
Oh! Lovely bloke.
Loved baking.
Always bringing in little pies and samosas.
All we needed was a few more weeks.
The next production would've been a game changer.
What was it called? "Calabras" by Edmund Porter.
You've probably never heard of it.
Where does Colin live? Ugh.
Now is not a good time.
I know who killed Leonard Walsh and has Kayleigh Connor.
- Get a pen.
It's someone who -- - Harry, it's over.
We've got the person who killed Leonard Walsh.
It was nothing to do with the play or Kayleigh.
It was something from his past.
No! No.
That's not right.
Well, it is, so now you can drop it, yeah? Go and get on with your retirement.
Take up knitting, maybe think about a cruise or buy a cat.
Find old-lady stuff to do.
Libby's swimming's coming along.
She can almost put her face under.
Dad said he might come up and see you soon.
I wouldn't get your hopes up, though.
You know what he's like.
I'll let you know if he is coming, though, give you time to do your hair and stuff.
Your grandmother? Yeah.
Nice of you to bring her flowers.
They were her favorite.
No, they weren't.
Carnations aren't anyone's favorites.
Grandmothers just say that because they don't cost so much.
She also told me not to talk to strange women, so Unusual for a boy to visit his dead granny.
Close, were you? Yeah.
Yeah, we were.
I wonder what she'd think about you mugging old ladies, then.
What are you on about? - Haven't gone anywhere near you.
- Oh, not today.
But last week in Dún Laoghaire, you shoved me.
You stole my wallet.
I wonder what little old dead Granny would say about that.
You must have me mixed up with someone else.
Well, we both know I don't.
Well, if I did it'd be pretty stupid, you coming here.
I mean, look around.
We're all alone, hey? So why don't you piss off, yeah? - Aah! - That's just the low level.
I could turn it up if you like.
Yeah -- I mean no.
I remember, all right? What the hell was that?! That really hurt.
- Good.
- What do you want from me? I want to figure you out.
You're a little shithead, but I've seen how you look after your sister.
And you tend your grandmother's grave.
These two sides of you don't go together.
Maybe I don't want to be figured out.
What did you do with my money? Hookers and coke.
There -- There was only 30 euros.
They weren't very good hookers and coke.
That wallet has sentimental value, you shithead.
My son's a guard.
I am going to keep an eye on you, Mr.
You mug anyone else, and I am going to give him all your info.
Got it? Bollocks.
His alibi checked out.
Ran 'cause he was dealing pills.
Gave him a caution.
Sent him on his way.
Never mind.
Tomorrow's another day.
Ray, where are we with Kayleigh? Nowhere.
It's like she vanished off the face of the earth.
No chance her abduction could be connected to Leonard Walsh's murder, is there? Uh, never mind.
Just something my mam -- someone said.
Forget it.
I was so sure we had him.
Come here.
You've been here before.
You'll find who it is.
You know that.
Just as long as Harry doesn't find out we had the wrong man.
I'll never hear the bloody end of it.
I can feel those knots.
What the bloody hell are you doing here? Sod off! Go! You said it had sentimental value, okay? I just Most of the money's there.
Almost half.
I'll never come here again.
How do you know where I live? Driving license.
Smart, huh? How would you like to earn some of that money back? Okay.
Whose house is that? My son the guard is looking for a killer and a kidnapper -- the same person who's done both.
And? Wait.
Are you saying the killer's over there? Well, I'm 90% sure.
So call your son! Okay, 75%.
But I have to be certain.
Here's Charlie's number.
If I'm not out in 15 minutes, I want you to call him, tell him what I've done, and tell him the killer's name is Colin Fountain.
He worked at the theater where Kayleigh Connor's am-dram group rehearsed.
The woman on the news, the one who's missing? That's who he's kidnapped? Well, if I'm right, she's in there now.
You will call him, won't you? I ain't calling him.
"I'm not calling him.
" Yeah.
Me neither.
"Hello, Mr.
Guard, sir.
You don't know me, but last week I mugged your ma, and now she's gone into a murderer's house, and she's not come out.
" Yeah, that doesn't end well for anyone.
How do you know he's not in there? I'm just gonna knock on the door, and -- and if he answers, I'll just say I've got the wrong address.
I'm just a harmless old woman.
You bleedin' well aren't.
Well, now we know he's not there.
What am I doing? Nope.
Don't tell me.
- Lasagna again.
- Kayleigh.
Oh, my God.
Who are you? It's all right.
I'm here to help you.
Oh, God.
You've got to get me out of here.
He's bloody nuts! I'm going to.
Are you hurt? No.
He -- He hasn't hurt me.
Well, come on.
We've got to leave before he gets back.
Oh, yeah.
Like it didn't occur to me to leave.
The key's on a chain around his neck.
Oh, shit! I'm gonna have to find tools or something.
But -- Is anyone else coming? Have you called the guards? Don't worry.
I'll be right back.
Look out! How long have I been here? Not long.
About 10 minutes.
Where is he? Oh, good.
You're awake.
Don't worry, my darling.
This is for her, not you.
I've got questions.
You can ask all the questions you like.
It's over for you, Colin.
Who are you? Inspector Wild.
Bit long in the tooth to be a guard, now, aren't you? And you sound English.
College employee.
I'm working for the guards.
How did you find us? My son's Inspector Wild.
He's the one in charge of the Leonard Walsh murder.
I saw his case notes.
I I spotted the similarities to "Calabras.
" He asked me to advise.
Some of what you said is true -- I think but you're still lying.
W-We've -- We've entered the theater.
We've already talked to your old boss.
We know you killed Lloyd, the stage manager.
Made it look like suicide.
And we know what you did to your wife.
Did you feed her to the theater people? They couldn't get enough of those samosas.
I actually planned to do some pasties, too, but, um she wasn't a big woman.
What was in those lasagnas? No.
I ran out of her long before you came.
They're just Lidl.
We know it all, Colin.
Look away, Delilah.
I don't want you to see this.
Wait! Wait.
There's one thing you've forgotten.
What about the rascal? The -- The who? The rascal.
He foils the painter.
There's no rascal in "Calabras.
" Y-You must have read the abridged version.
In Porter's preferred text, the old crone keeps the painter talking so that the rascal could come up behind him and And what? And do this.
Aah! The band! The band! It has to be around your wrist! - Kayleigh! - Oh! Oh! Kevin.
Oh! Ma.
- Are you okay, Ma? - I'm fine.
Well, in that case, that was a mad stupid thing to do.
Well, I wouldn't have had to do it if you'd listened to me.
You're the one who called? - Who are you exactly? - My student.
- Your what? - What? You told me to find something to occupy my time.
I'm a teacher.
Fergus needed extra tuition.
You should thank him for saving your mother's life.
Aw, you're all right, fella.
Extra tuition? - What are you on about? - You're a good kid.
You're intelligent but stupid with it.
To be honest, I didn't think you'd stick around.
Well, to be honest, I almost didn't.
Well, you did, and that's what matters.
So in return, I'm going to make a man of you.
I already am a man.
No, you're not.
But you will be when I'm finished.
I've taught for 24 years.
I'm never wrong about these things.
Must be tough to never be wrong.
Oh, I'm telling you, Fergus.
It's a pissing burden.

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