Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e05 Episode Script

- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE OUTDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE OUTDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- IT'S SO EXCITING GETTING
TO MEET A REAL MOVIE STAR!
- HE'S SO HANDSOME!
- WALLY THE WONDER CA
IS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.
- WHAT ABOUT HEATHCLIFF?
- HEATHCLIFF IS--
IS TOO IMMATURE FOR ME.
- [PANTING]
- OH!
- OH! OOH!
- DUM DUM DUM DUM
DUM DUM DUM
- HEY, YOU TWO!
COME BACK HERE!
NO, WAIT!
DON'T TOUCH THOSE CANS!
- HE SHOULD TAKE
HIS OWN ADVICE! HEE HEE!
- OH! IT'S WALLY!
- HERE HE COMES!
- AAH!
- OH! I'M GOING TO DIE!
- I LOVE YOU, WALLY!
- OHH!
- HE'S GORGEOUS!
- WALLYYY!
- CALM DOWN, GIRLS.
CALM DOWN.
WELL, HELLO, MY DEAR.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- SONJA.
- SONJA. THAT IS
A BEAUTIFUL NAME.
TELL ME, SONJA.
DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
- I, UH
I, UHNO, I DON'T.
I MEAN, HE'S JUS
A LOCAL GUY--
NOT VERY MATURE,
KIND OF BORING.
- OOH HOO HOO HOO!
OOH HOO HOO HOO!
- OH!
NYAH NYAH NYAH
NYAH NYAH NYAH ♪
OOH OOH!
[WHIMPERING]
YIIIKES!
- OUCH!
- ASPARAGUS
- YEEOWW!
- SHAVING CREAM
CAT.
- YEEOWW!
- NYAH NYAH NYAH
NYAH NYAH NYAH ♪
[WHIMPERING]
YEEOWW!
UHH
- SO LONG, SPIKE.
DON'T FORGET TO WRITE.
- HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
COME TO THE MOVIE SE
WHERE I'M SHOOTING
MY NEW EPIC,
CAT MONSTERS
FROM OUTER SPACE?
- OH, I'D JUST LOVE TO!
- THAT'S GREAT.
YOU KNOW, SONJA,
YOU'RE THE KIND OF GIRL
A GUY COULD GE
REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT.
- OH, WALLY!
- HUH?
- NOW, YOU'RE SURE
YOU'RE NOT SPOKEN FOR?
- SONJA!
OHH!
- IS THIS YOUR
BOYFRIEND, SONJA?
- SONJA, WHO IS THIS CREEP?
- HE'S NOT A CREEP.
HE'S A MOVIE STAR.
- SO HE'S A MOVIE-STAR CREEP.
- I SAY, AREN'T YOU
A LITTLE RASCAL?
- QUIET, PRETTY BOY, OR I'LL
GIVE YOU ANOTHER NOSE JOB.
- HEATHCLIFF,
NOW STOP THAT.
HEATHCLIFF, THIS IS
WALLY THE WONDER CAT.
- I DON'T CARE IF HE'S
FREDDY THE FRISKY FELINE.
YOU'RE MY GIRL,
AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE
HANGING OUT WITH HIM.
- WELL, MAYBE I'M NO
YOUR GIRL ANYMORE.
MAYBE IT'S TIME I STAR
SEEING A MATURE CAT.
- A MATURE CAT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'M MATURE. ASK ANYBODY.
ANYBODY SAYS I'M NOT MATURE,
AND I'LL CLOBBER THEM.
SHE WANTS MATURE, HUH?
I'LL GIVE HER MATURE.
IF SHE THINKS THAT WEARING
FLASHY CLOTHES LIKE
WALLY THE WONDER WIMP
MAKES A GUY MATURE,
I'LL SHOW HER THAT I CAN
LOOK LIKE THAT, TOO.
- [BARKING]
[GROWLING]
- PIPE DOWN!
MATURE, HUH?
MATURE'S MY MIDDLE NAME--
HEATH MATURE CLIFF.
MATURE. HUH! LOOK UP "MATURE"
IN THE DICTIONARY,
AND IT SAYS,
"SEE HEATHCLIFF."
NOW, THAT'S
WHAT I CALL A RUG.
ONE MATURE FELINE
COMING UP.
THERE'S NO ESCAPING THE FAC
THAT I'M ONE HANDSOME CAT.
- IT'S THE CAT MONSTER
FROM OUTER SPACE!
WE'RE DONE FOR!
- RROOWW!
- IF ONLY WALLY
THE WONDER CAT WAS HERE.
- MEOW!
RREOWW!
- YEAH.
- CUT! CUT! CUT!
BEAUTIFUL, WALLY, BABY.
BEAUTIFUL!
OK, EVERYBODY.
THAT'S IT FOR TODAY.
THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE SITTING
IN MY CHAIR, SONJA.
- I'M SORRY, WALLY.
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
- WHY DON'T YOU RUN
AND GET ME A CAVIAR SANDWICH?
- OF COURSE, WALLY.
AND, WALLY, I THINK
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
- YOU HAVE EXCELLEN
TASTE, SONJA.
- HIYA, BABE.
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I'M JUST A MATURE KIND OF GUY,
AND YOU HAPPENED
TO CATCH MY EYE.
- YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE.
- WELL, THAT'S WHA
THEY TELL ME.
- HEY, HEATHCLIFF,
WHO DOES YOUR HAIR--
LADY GODIVA?
- HEATHCLIFF, IS THAT YOU?
HEATHCLIFF, DON'T FIGHT.
IT'S--IT'S IMMATURE.
- I WON'T FIGHT THEM.
I'LL JUST CHASE THEM.
- BUT WHAT HAPPENS
IF YOU CATCH THEM?
- HA HA HEE HOOO!
- HE'S NOT ONLY IMMATURE,
HE'S IMPOSSIBLE.
- UHH!
- UH-OH.
- OOH!
- I MAY NOT BE
A RICH MOVIE STAR,
BUT WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM GRUESOME HERE,
I CAN STILL GET SONJA
SOME MATURE GIFTS.
[CRASH]
- WHOA!
- OHH!
- YOU'VE GO
A LOT OF POTENTIAL.
STICK WITH ME, KID,
AND I'LL MAKE YOU A STAR.
- WHOA!
AAH!
- I LIKE YOUR STYLE.
- HI, HEATHCLIFF.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I GOT YOU A COUPLE
OF NICE GIFTS.
- THAT'S VERY SWEE
OF YOU, HEATHCLIFF,
BUT WALLY JUST GOT ME THIS.
- A FISHING BOAT?
WELL, I, UH,
ALSO GOT YOU THIS.
- MILK?
WELL, GEE, HEATHCLIFF,
WALLY ALREADY GOT ME THAT.
SO, YOU SEE, I DON'
REALLY NEED ANY MILK.
- UH, YEAH. YEAH, SURE.
- OK, WALLY, BABY.
IN THIS SCENE,
ZE MONSTER ATTACKS YOU,
UNDYOUR RAY GUN FAILS,
SO YOU BEAT IT UP
WITH YOUR PAWS.
CAMERAS ROLLING, ACTION.
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THIS THING?
- AAAH! HELP!
OOF!
- OH!
- OH!
- OHH!
- GRRR!
- [TEETH CHATTERING]
- SAVE ME, SONJA!
- DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO
I'VE NEVER MET A CA
THAT'S NOT A SUCKER
FOR A BALL OF YARN.
- OH, HEATHCLIFF.
WHEN THAT TERRIBLE
CAT MONSTER ATTACKED US,
WALLY ACTED LIKE
SUCH A BABY,
WHILE YOU WERE SO--
SO MATURE.
- THAT'S MY MIDDLE NAME.
HMM
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THIS
WILL COME IN HANDY.
- [SLURPING]
- OH!
- OH! ISN'T THIS THE LIFE?
- [GASPING]
- ENJOY YOURSELF WHILE YOU CAN,
MR. RIFFRAFF.
SOON AS I DEVISE A PLAN,
EVEN YOUWILL BE
WORKING FOR ME--
CLAUDE THE DISGUISER!
WHOA!
[THUD]
- OH, WHAT'S THE USE?
WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF MOO JUICE.
- RIFF, HI!
I GOT SOME MILK,
RIFFRAFF.
YOUR PLAN
WORKED REAL GOOD,
LIKE, UH, LIKE, UH,
GREASED THUNDER.
- NATCH.
AS A REWARD FOR A JOB WELL DONE,
YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE EMPTIES
FOR YOUR COLLECTION.
- GEE, THANKS, RIFF!
YOU'RE A REAL PAL.
- I FOUND THIS BOTTLE
IN THE YARD,
A GIFT WITH MY REGARD.
- I'M GOING TO PUT I
WITH THE OTHERS RIGHT NOW.
WHOA! OOH!
OW!
- HOO HOO! YOU RUBBED?
- YEAH, WHO--WHO ARE YOU?
- HOO HOO HOO!
- JUST CALL ME HARRY WITH
THE LIGHT BROWN JEANS.
- HUH?
- SIMPLY BY RUBBING
THAT BOTTLE, YOU SUMMONED ME
AND WILL BE GRANTED
3 WISHES
- NO FOOLING?
- JUST BY SAYING
THE WORDS "I WISH"
AND THEN TELLING ME
WHAT IT IS YOU WANT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?
- WELL, UH, I WISH
MY HEAD DIDN'T HURT.
- HMMTHAT'S ONE.
- WOW. OK.
SO NOW I WISH MY 3--
- BEEP BEEP BEEP!
WHOA THERE, FELLA!
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING
THE BIG PICTURE HERE.
- YOU DON'T WAN
TO WASTE YOUR WISHES, DO YOU?
- UH-UH.
- THEN DON'T BE
SO WISHY-WASHY. THINK BIG.
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
HO HO! WHAT A WASTE.
- UH, I WISH I COULD
THINK OF SOMETHING.
I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!
- THAT'S TWO.
LOOK, MY HEAD'S
STARTING TO HURT.
- YEAH, IT MUST BE
GOING AROUND.
- WHY DON'T I
GET BACK TO YOU
AFTER YOU'VE THOUGH
ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE?
THERE'S NO HURRY,
LIKE MAYBE A THOUSAND YEARS?
TALK IT OVER
WITH YOUR FRIENDS,
BUT DON'T TELL THEM
ABOUT ME.
WHEN YOU WANT ME,
JUST RUB 3 TIMES.
HA HA HA!
BUT DON'T RUB ME
THE WRONG WAY.
- OKEY-DOKEY.
- IT IS NOW CLEAR.
THE JUNKYARD
IS SMALL POTATOES.
WHEN I GET MY PAWS
ON THAT BOTTLE,
THE WORLD WILL BE
MY OYSTER.
- HI, FELLAS.
I WAS JUST THINKING.
- THINKING?
I'VE BEEN WORKING YOU
TOO HARD.
TAKE THE RES
OF THE DAY OFF.
- GEE, THANKS.
WHAT I WAS THINKING WAS,
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING
IN THE WHOLE WORLD,
WHAT WOULD YOU WISH FOR?
- SINCE YOU'RE ASKING,
FOR STARTERS, A TON
OF FRESH FISH,
AND THEN
- OH, NO!
- DOH DEE DOH DOH
DOH DEE DOH DOH
NOW, WHERE
DID I PUT IT?
OH, YEAH.
HERE IT IS.
YOO-HOO! HARRY!
ANYBODY HOME?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU STUCK?
- YEEEHOO HOO!
- DUH, HI, HARRY.
- TURN IT OVER, PLEASE!
- DOES YOUR HEAD STILL HURT?
- IT WAS STARTING
TO GO AWAY.
SO IS THERE ANYTHING
ON OR IN YOUR MIND?
WISH AWAY.
- UH, I WISH I HAD
A TON OF FRESH FISH.
- SO YOUR LAST WISH
IS A TON OF FRESH FISH?
- YEAH. OH, HI, GUYS.
THIS IS HARRY.
HE'LL GRANT ME ONE WISH
FOR ANYTHING I WANT.
- I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TELL THEM!
- OH, YEAH. I FORGOT.
- WELL, SINCE WE'RE
ALL FRIENDS NOW,
HOW ABOUT GRANTING ME
A WISH OR 12?
- MM-MMM. THAT'S
AGAINST THE RULES.
HE'S MY ONLY MASTER
FOR ONE MORE WISH.
- THIS TIME,
NO ONE CANSTOP ME.
- DUH, I'M REALLY CONFUSED.
- HMM HMM! I'LL BET IT'S
THE VERY FIRST TIME.
- I WISH I KNEW WHAT TO--
MMPPH!
- MUSTN'T WASTE
MY ONLY WISH.
- WHO SAID IT WAS YOURS?
- RREOWW!
- OH, WELL, TWO'S COMPANY,
AND FIVE'S A BORE.
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU DECIDE.
- HEY! WHERE DID
THE BOTTLE GO?
- HEY. LOOK.
THE GARBAGE
IS TAKING HARRY OUT.
- I DON'T THINK IT'S TRASH
THAT'S MAKING THE DASH.
- THAT'S CLAUDE
THE DISGUISER!
QUICK! FOLLOW THAT CAT!
- OH, NO!
- GO! GO! GO!
- I--I--I WISH
TO RULE THE WORLD!
HEY! WHAT GIVES?
I SAID I WISH--
- I CAN ONLY HAVE
ONE MASTER AT A TIME,
AND RIGHT NOW,
MUNGO IS HIM.
NYAH NYAH NYAH
NYAH NYAH NYAH ♪
I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
- PUT A CORK IN IT, HARRY.
- COME ON.
YOU CAN DO IT.
- WHOAHH!
- HELP! WE'RE IN HERE!
- IF I CAN JUST GET OUT OF HERE
WITH THIS GENIE,
MY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE.
- AAH!
[ECHOING]
YEOWW!
- HARRY. YOU IN THERE,
HARRY?
RAAAH!
[GURGLING]
[THUD]
- HEY. CHECK IT OUT.
- WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S HARRY?
YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME!
-YEAH?
I SURE WISH I KNEW.
- TA-DA!
HERE'S HARRY! HO HO!
OH, THAT'S 3 WISHES,
AND YOU'RE OUT.
- NOW IT'S MY TURN.
- MMM, GUESS AGAIN,
SARDINE BREATH.
- AFTER 2,000 YEARS
AND 6, 000 WISHES
WITHOUT A WEEKEND OFF,
I'M TAKING A VACATION.
I'M TIRED OF BEING
BOTTLED UP.
- WHAT ABOUT MYWISHES?
- HAR DEE HAR HAR!
WHY DON'T YOU DISGUISE
YOURSELF AS A ROCK
AND GO JUMP IN THE LAKE?
- WHAT IF I RUBBED
YOUR BOTTLE?
- THEN YOU WOULD BE MY MASTER,
BUT FIRS
YOU GOT TO FIND ME.
HOO HOO! ALOHA!
- I'M SORRY I BLEW
THE LAST WISH, FELLAS.
- WELL, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,
WE MAY AS WELL HAVE SOME MILK.
- [GLUG GLUG GLUG]
- SO LONG, MUNGO.
- YEAH. HAVE A NICE
VACATION, HARRY.
- MAY ALL YOUR WISHES
COME TRUE!
- YOO-HOO! HARRY!
COME OUT, COME OU
WHEREVER YOU ARE.
I KNOW YOU'RE
IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
[THUNDERCLAP]
- NOW, I PROBABLY
DISLIKE DOGS MORE
THAN ANYONE YOU KNOW,
BUT EVEN I WOULDN'T LEAVE
A DOG OUT UNPROTECTED
IN WEATHER LIKE THIS.
I'LL JUST LEAVE HIM OUT THERE
UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS
HOW HIS DOG MUST HAVE FEL
IN THIS WEATHER.
IT WORKED!
HE REALIZES THAT PETS
NEED TO BE PROTECTED
FROM BAD WEATHER, TOO.
IF YOUR PET HAS TO STAY OUTSIDE
IN BAD WEATHER,
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOME KIND
OF SHELTER FOR HIM.
HE'LL BE HAPPIER
AND HEALTHIER IF YOU DO.
- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE OUTDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE OUTDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU