Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e04 Episode Script

- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
[WATER SPLASHING]
- HUH? SOUNDS LIKE
THE BOYS ARE HAVING A PARTY.
- TRACER, HUH?
WHAT A STUPID NAME.
- DIDN'T YOUR MAMA TELL YOU
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS?
[LAUGHTER]
- I'M NOT SCARED
OF YOU ALLEY CATS.
YOU DON'T LOOK SO TOUGH TO ME.
- NOT SO TOUGH, HUH?
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, SHORTY,
I'M THE BOSS
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
- DID SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT BEING BOSS?
- HEY, YOU KNOW,
WE WAS JUST HAVING SOME FUN.
- THAT'S WHAT I PLAN ON DOING--
JUST HAVING SOME FUN.
RAAARR!
[SHRIEKING AND SQUEALING]
SEE? NOW WASN'T THAT FUN?
- WOW!
I THINK YOU'RE THE TOUGHEST CA
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THINK?
- YOU WERE REALLY
SOMETHING OUT THERE.
SO, WHAT'S UP NEXT?
- I ALREADY TOLD YOU
I WORK ALONE.
- FROM NOW ON, WE'RE A TEAM.
I'M STICKING TO YOU LIKE GLUE.
I WANT TO BE
JUST LIKE YOU WHEN I GROW UP.
- DON'T TRY TO ACCOMPLISH
SO MUCH IN ONE LIFETIME.
HUH?
OH, WELL, IT'S BEEN FUN.
BUT DON'T CALL ME.
I'LL CALL YOU.
[HORNS HONKING]
NOOO!
OHHH!
- SPEAK TO ME.
SAY ANYTHING!
- HOW ABOUT YOU GOT ONE SECOND
TO GET YOUR PAWS OFF OF ME?
YEEOWW!
- HEY, YOU LOOK FUNNY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU KNOW WHA
I DON'T UNDERSTAND?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO
WITH THE GARBAGE TRUCK
ONCE YOU HAVE IT?
- OHH!
AT LEAST I WON'T HAVE TO
DEAL WITH THAT LITTLE
MONSTER IN MY OWN HOUSE.
HELP!
- HEATHCLIFF,
LOOK AT WHAT WE FOUND.
ISN'T HE ADORABLE?
- I WONDER WHERE HE CAME FROM.
- ISN'T THAT CUTE?
THEY'RE FRIENDS ALREADY.
LITTLE ONE,
YOU CAN STAY FOR DINNER.
HEATHCLIFF, LITTLE ONE,
DINNERTIME!
- WOW!
- WHOA!
- NOW, YOU BOYS
HAVE A GOOD MEAL.
- HA HA HA!
- WELL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL EAT.
HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!
- OH, MY GOSH!
DID I EAT THE WRONG BOWL?
SORRY, BOSS. REALLY.
- FORGET IT. I'M USED
TO DISASTERS HAPPENING
WHENEVER YOU'RE AROUND.
- HEATHCLIFF!
YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
EATING ALL YOUR FOOD
AND THEN TAKING FOOD
OUT OF THE MOUTH OF
A DEFENSELESS LITTLE KITTEN!
AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL
YOU LEARN SOME MANNERS!
- DON'T WORRY.
IF THAT LITTLE CAT STAYS,
I MAY NEVER COME BACK!
I THINK I'LL GO VISIT SONJA.
SEEING HER ALWAYS
MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
A LITTLE WARMUP,
AND I'LL BE READY.
MEE MEE MEEOWW
AH, PERFECT.
WHAT A VOICE.
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
[ECHOING]
MEOW!
[CRASH]
GRRR!
- NOW WATCH THIS.
BOP A DOO BOP BOP
BOP SHOOWOP ♪
BOPPIDEE DOO WOP YEAH
- OH, TRACER!
YOU'RE TOO MUCH!
[BUZZING]
- HUH?
GRRR!
THAT'S IT!
THIS MEANS WAR!
- THANK YOU SO MUCH, TRACER.
I DON'T REMEMBER
HAVING A BETTER TIME.
- WHOEVER'S DOING THIS, YOU'RE
GOING TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE
WHEN MY FRIEND
HEATHCLIFF FINDS OUT.
- I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.
HEE HEE!
I THINK A LONG TRIP IS JUS
WHAT THIS LITTLE GUY NEEDS.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
UH-OH.
WRITE WHEN YOU GET WORK!
NOW TO GET OFF THIS TRAIN
AND BACK TO A NICE, WARM BED.
- MEOW! HELP!
MEOW! HELP!
- OH, GREAT.
THE KID'S IN TROUBLE AGAIN.
WELL, THIS TIME,
HE'S ON HIS OWN.
- YOU CAN'T LEAVE
YOUR LITTLE FRIEND IN TROUBLE.
YOU MUST GO BACK AND HELP HIM.
- DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
THAT TRACER'S BEEN
NOTHING BUT A PAIN
SINCE THE MOMENT HE SHOWED UP.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
- IF YOU LEAVE TRACER NOW,
YOU'LL REGRET IT FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
- WELL, UH
- YEAH, AND IF YOU HELP HIM,
HE'LL STICK WITH YOU FOREVER.
HE'LL KEEP DRIVING YOU CRAZY
TILL YOU'RE OLD AND GRAY.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
- BUT HE LOVES YOU, HEATHCLIFF.
- OH, I CAN'T TAKE THAT CRYING.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK OF LOVE?
- GOOD. NOW GO HELP YOUR FRIEND.
- I KNOW I'M GOING TO HATE
MYSELF FOR THIS IN THE MORNING.
- YOU--YOU BETTER
LEAVE ME ALONE.
- AWW! DOES THAT MEAN
THE BABY WANTS HIS MAMA?
- HEY, GOOD ONE, MUSCLES.
GOOD ONE! HA HA!
- I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU.
AND WHEN MY FRIEND
HEATHCLIFF FINDS ME,
YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO BE
REAL SORRY.
[LAUGHTER]
- HEATHCLIFF?
WHAT A STUPID NAME.
- YEAH. STUPID.
HEY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M SHAKING ALL OVER.
- HEY, STRING BEAN, DIDN'T YOU
RESERVE A PRIVATE CAR?
- HUH? OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
PRIVATE. PRIVATE CAR.
- OH, OK, NOW.
ON 3.
1, 2, 3!
- I KNEW YOU'D COME!
I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN.
- JUST SIT TIGHT, KID.
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF.
- OH, GOOD. ANOTHER
LITTLE KITTY CAT TO PLAY WITH.
- YEAH, ANOTHER KITTY CAT.
BOY, ARE YOU FUNNY, MUSCLES.
- YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?
YOU OUGHT TO LOOK IN A MIRROR.
- HEY, YOU CAN'
TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.
OH!
WHY, I OUGHT TO
OW! OW! OW!
OW! OW! OOH! OOH!
I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU
IN THE NEXT TOWN, MUSCLES!
- HA HA!
NOW THAT'S FUNNY.
- GOTCHA!
- PPPLLLL!
- GRRR!
[THUD]
- WELL, THAT WAS EASY.
- WHERE IS HE?
WHERE IS HE?
AHA!
- OH, GREAT.
HE WANTS TO PLAY TRAPEZE.
- OH, NO!
OH, NO, STOP!
OH, HO HO!
YOU GOT TO STOP!
OH, I CAN'T TAKE IT.
OH, NO FAIR.
OH, HO HO!
- HEATHCLIFF, YOU'RE THE BEST,
THE GREATEST, THE TOUGHEST CA
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
A LOT SMARTER THAN I THOUGHT.
HE'S STARTING TO LOOK
REAL TIRED.
WITH ANY LUCK,
HE'LL LEAVE TODAY.
HEY, YOU MISSED A SPOT.
- I HAVEN'T SEEN COUSIN
LULABELLE IN A LONG TIME.
THANKS FOR THE RIDE TO HER FARM.
- NO TROUBLE AT ALL.
IT'S GOOD TO GET SOME FRESH AIR.
[SNIFFING]
- WHAAAHH
[AH-CHOO]
- LOOK! THERE'S THE FARM.
- DROP ANCHOR.
- AYE AYE, SKIPPER.
- I MEAN, YOU SHOULD
DROP IT IN THE WATER.
- OH.
- I'M GLAD CLEO ONLY PACKED
FOR A 2-DAY VISIT.
- THE SAILBOAT SUNK.
WHY NOT THE TRUNK?
- WHAT IS IN THIS LITTLE BOX
THAT WEIGHS SO MUCH?
- JUST MY ROCK COLLECTION.
- OHHH!
[CROW CAWS]
[COWS MOOING]
- PYUWW!
- YUCK.
- WHOA!
- UGH!
- YECCH!
- GROSS!
- P.U.!
- HEH HEH HEH!
I WOULDN'T DO THA
IF I WERE YOU.
- NO?
- UH-UH.
- UH-UH?
- BUT WE'RE HERE
TO VISIT LULABELLE.
I'M HER COUSIN--CLEO.
- MAYBE YOU IS,
AND MAYBE YOU AIN'T.
- YOU CAN'T STOP US.
- I GOT THIS HERE
ELECTRIC FENCE.
[ELECTRICITY HUMMING]
KEEPS THE COWS IN
AND KEEPS THE STRANGERS OUT.
- BUT WE'RE NOT STRANGERS.
- YEAH. I KNOW RIFFRAFF
AND HIM AND HIM, UH
BUT I DON'T KNOW HER.
- LULABELLE! YOO-HOO!
LULABELLE!
- CLEO?
- UHH!
- WELCOME, COUSIN CLEO.
I SEE YOU BROUGHT FRIENDS
MEN FRIENDS.
HELLO.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- HIYA.
- AFTERNOON.
[HUMMING]
- OH, NO!
EYE CONTACT.
- WELL, Y'ALL BETTER
COME IN AND SET A SPELL.
- YEAH. WELL, WHERE
DO YOU WANT THE LUGGAGE?
- WHY, YOU SMOOTH TALKER.
YOU TRYIN' TO
SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET?
- YEOW!
- WHOA!
- I DO BELIEVE
YOU GOT A CRUSH ON ME.
[BOING]
- HOWDY, LULABELLE.
I BROUGHT YOU OVER A PRESENT.
- THANKS.
I'LL OPEN IT LATER.
THIS HERE'S ORVILLE
FROM THE FARM NEXT DOOR.
- HOWDY.
- HOWDY!
- WE ARE JUST FRIENDS.
- WELL, SEEING AS HOW
YOU GOT COMPANY,
I RECKON I BETTER BE MOSEYIN'.
I GOT ME SOME CHORES TO DO.
[THUD]
- THAT MUNGO IS
A HUNK OF DREAM ANGEL,
BUT I DON'T THINK HE LIKES ME.
- MAKE HIM YOUR
PRIZE-WINNING CAKE RECIPE.
ONCE HE TASTES IT,
HE'LL BE ALL YOURS.
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- WELL, JUST TAKE A LOOK.
THE QUICKEST WAY
TO A FELLA'S HEAR
IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH.
FOR MUNGO, IT'S CERTAINLY NO
THROUGH HIS BRAIN.
- AND THEN MUNGO
WILL BE MY BEAU.
[GIGGLING]
- IF THAT CAKE GETS MADE,
IT'S "GOOD-BYE, ORVILLE."
BUT SHE CAN'T MAKE
THAT CAKE IF SHE DOESN'
GET THE INGREDIENTS.
I'LL SHOW HER SHE CAN'
TREAT ME LIKE TRASH.
YEP. I GOT A PLAN
ALL WORKED OUT.
I'LL TAKE THE FLOUR, MILK,
EGGS, AND HONEY.
THEN LULABELLE CAN'T MAKE
THE CAKE FOR MUNGO,
AND I'LL BE HER BEAU AGAIN.
- WE'LL STAR
THE GUIDED TOUR HERE.
THIS IS WHERE WE GRIND
THE WHEAT INTO FLOUR.
I'LL JUST GET SOME FLOUR NOW
SO I CAN MAKE A CAKE
FOR MY MUNGO.
THAT'S FUNNY.
THE FLOUR'S ALL GONE.
- THIS VACUUM TOOK OU
EVERY BIT, CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
[WHISTLING]
- IT'S CERTAINLY
PECULIAR, INDEED.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
MUNGO, DARLIN'?
- DUH
- WELL, I THINK SOMEBODY'S
STOLEN OUR FLOUR.
- STOLEN, HUH?
DON'T ANYONE MOVE.
FREEZE!
- HEY!
- WHAT?
YEOUCH!
- WHOA!
- WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
OH!
- YOUR TURN, MISS CLEO.
- LAY A PAW ON ME,
AND YOU'RE DOG MEAT.
I DIDN'T STEAL ANY FLOUR.
- I'LL ALWAYS TAKE
A LADY'S WORD.
- GOT TO GET OU
THROUGH THE WINDOW.
- HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
- HUH?
- OH, NO!
MUNGO!
- [AH-CHOO]
[SMACK]
- MY HERO!
- UH-AWW.
- HEY, HOW DO I
GET OFF THIS THING?
[GURGLING]
THAT'S HOW.
- LUCKY WE'RE HERE
TO HELP YOU, HUH?
- YEP. WHOOPEE.
LUCKY ME.
COME ON. MOVE IT OUT.
LET'S GO.
- I THINK HE'S STARTING
TO LIKE US.
- I GOT TO GET THOSE EGGS.
BAWK BAWK BAWK
BAWK BAWK BAWK.
BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK.
- HEY, WAIT.
- BAWK BAWK--OH, NO!
- HERE.
YOU FORGOT ONE.
- THANKS.
BAWK BAWK BAWK!
[SQUEAKING]
HMM
MOOO!
- [WHISTLES]
- MOOO!
[SNORTING]
MOOO!
- OLE.
- OH!
- UH!
- I MESSED UP ON FLOUR AND MILK.
I'VE GOT TO GET THIS HONEY.
RIGHT NOW, THE BEES
ARE OFF GATHERING HONEY,
SO THIS HIVE IS EASY PICKINS.
[WHISTLES]
[BUZZING]
- YEOWW!
YEOWW!
UH-OH!
WHOA!
- ORVILLE!
ORVILLE!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, HONEY?
- HONEY? WELL, WHAT ABOUT MUNGO?
- WHEN I SAW YOU ALL
TIED UP LIKE THAT,
I KNEW YOU WERE
MY ONLY TRUE LOVE.
SORRY, MUNGO, BUT THAT'S
THE WAY THE CAKE CRUMBLES.
- YEAH, OK.
WHEW!
- WELL, RIFF, YOU DID IT AGAIN.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- PIECE OF STRAW?
- NO. TRYING TO QUIT.
- AS DOGS GET OLDER,
THEIR SENSES AREN'
WHAT THEY USED TO BE,
AND THE BEST WAY TO MAKE SURE
THEY'RE NOT HUR
IS TO KEEP THEM ON A LEASH.
NOT ONLY DOES AN OLDER DOG
HAVE DULLER SENSES,
BUT HIS REACTION TIME
WILL BE SLOWER, TOO.
- LET ME AT THEM.
- KEEPING HIM ON A LEASH
PROTECTS HIM FROM THINGS LIKE
DOG FIGHTS, CARS, AND BICYCLES.
- I COULD'VE TAKEN THEM.
- SURE, YOU COULD'VE, OLD BOY.
- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU