Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e18 Episode Script
May the Best Cat Win/Comedy Cats
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GAME
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE A MYSTERY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FINDING EACH CALAMITY
THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
O-O-OH OH
OH-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- HEY, LOOK, MARCY.
SOMEONE'S MOVING INTO
THE OLD MAXFIELD HOUSE.
- MUST BE SOMEONE
WITH A LOT OF MONEY.
THAT'S THE BIGGEST HOUSE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- HI. MY NAME'S
IGGY NUTMEG,
AND THIS IS
MY FRIEND MARCY.
- GEE, HE'S LOVELY.
- [RRMMEOWWW]
- BUT HE'S NOT VERY FRIENDLY.
- POINDEXTER DOESN'
HAVE TO BE FRIENDLY.
HE'S A CHAMPION.
I'M GOING TO ENTER HIM
IN THE WESTMINSTER
CAT SHOW.
- I'VE GO
A CHAMPION CAT, TOO.
HE'S WON ALL SORTS
OF RIBBONS.
- I'M SURE.
- YOU DO?
- YEAH, SURE I DO.
IN FACT, I'M GOING
TO ENTER HIM
IN THE WESTMINSTER
CAT SHOW, TOO.
- I WOULDN'T BOTHER,
IF I WERE YOU.
POINDEXTER IS CERTAIN
TO WALK OFF WITH
FIRST PRIZE.
- OH, YEAH?
WELL, MY CAT IS PRETTY
HOT STUFF HIMSELF.
- SUIT YOURSELVES.
- WHO IS THIS CA
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?
- YOU KNOW,
HEATHCLIFF.
- HEATHCLIFF?!
- HEATHCLIFF!
- HEH HEH HEH HEH.
- [SNORES]
- RISE AND SHINE, SPIKE.
- YEOW!
AAH!
- [HUMMING]
- AAH!
[CRASH]
HUH? WHO GOES THERE?
I'LL MURTLIZE HIM.
- HEY, UH, LOOKIN'
FOR ME, SPIKE?
IN PERSON.
[KISS]
- AAH!
[BOTTLES JIGGLE]
- MMM. MILK.
[JIGGLING]
YOO-HOO.
- YEOW!
- HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
WASTE NOT, WANT NOT.
[GLUG GLUG GLUG]
- GET HIM!
- UH, SORRY, GUYS,
BUT I HAVE A DATE.
OH, SO YOU STILL
WANNA PLAY.
FORGOT TO SAY
"MAY I?" YOU LOSE.
- HIYA, SONJA.
- HI, SONJA.
- HI, BOYS.
- I HAVE TO DELIVER
THIS MILK.
ULP.
- HEATHCLIFF!
- YEOW!
AHH. OOH. AHH. OOH.
- OH, THERE YOU ARE,
HEATHCLIFF.
[KISSES]
- [BURP]
- LISTEN, THERE'S THIS NEW CA
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND I'M GONNA ENTER YOU
AGAINST HIM IN THE CAT SHOW.
I'M TELLIN' YOU,
THIS CAT IS GONNA
RUIN YOUR REPUTATION
IF YOU DON'T WIN.
AW, COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
- OH, MY BEAUTY.
ONE GLANCE AT YOU,
AND MY HEAR
SKIPS A BEAT.
- WELL, WELL, HEATHCLIFF.
THERE'S THAT NEW CAT NOW.
- HEY, WHAT'S THA
GONNA PROVE, HEATHCLIFF?
THAT YOU'RE TOUGHER?
- YEAH.
- WHAT WE HAVE TO PROVE
IS THAT YOU'RE BETTER.
AND THAT'S WHY I'M ENTERING YOU
IN THE WESTMINSTER CAT SHOW.
COME ON, NOW, HEATHCLIFF.
IT'S FOR
THE GOOD OF THE SHOW.
- HO HO HO HO HO HO.
HOW RIDICULOUS.
HO HO HO. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
SOAP AND WATER.
HO HO HO HO HO HO.
- WELL, I GUESS
IT'S THE BEST WE CAN DO.
- HEY, GUYS,
CHECK THIS OUT.
HEATHCLIFF SMELLS
LIKE A SISSY.
HA HA HA HA HA.
- UH-OH.
HEATHCLIFF, NO.
- [GRRR]
- YO!
- OH, MY GOSH!
- I HOPE THEY HAVE
A CATEGORY FOR SLOBS.
- WELCOME TO
THE WESTMINSTER CAT SHOW.
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR CA
IS PROPERLY ENTERED
AND IN HIS RIGHT BOOTH.
GOOD LUCK,
AND THE GRAND PRIZE
IS A LOVE BOA
CRUISE FOR TWO.
- BOY, THERE SURE ARE SOME
GOOD-LOOKING CATS AROUND HERE.
- YEAH. DID YOU SEE THAT REALLY
WELL-GROOMED CAT IN 31?
- YEAH. HE COULD
BE A REAL THREAT.
- HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.
MARMALADE CAT, EH?
I'LL FIX THAT.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
UH, PSST. HEY,
GOOD LOOKIN'.
- HI.
- COME CLOSER.
I'VE, UH,
SOMETHIN' FOR YA.
- FOR ME?
- WOW! DID YOU SEE THA
GREAT-LOOKING PERSIAN
IN NUMBER 12?
- ONE PERSIAN COMING UP.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
[MOTOR RUNS]
- YEOW!
- MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
- UH-OH. HERE COME
THE SNOBS.
GOSH, THAT POINDEXTER
LOOKS GREAT.
HEATHCLIFF
I'M AFRAID IT DOESN'
LOOK GOOD FOR US.
- HEY, UH, SPIKE.
COME HERE AND TAKE
YOUR LICKIN' LIKE A MAN,
YOU DOG.
- NOTHIN' DOIN'.
NO, SIREE.
- COME ON BACK HERE,
YOU LILY-LIVERED COWARD.
COME ON, FIGHT.
[BAWKS LIKE A CHICKEN]
- NO, I MUSTN'T.
- YOU SHOULD
BE ASHAMED
TO CALL YOURSELF
A DOG, YOU DOG.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE?
- OW!
[GRRR]
- MUCH BETTER.
NOW LET'S FIGHT.
- NO.
I WILL NOT FIGHT.
- NOT EVEN NOW?
- [GRRR]
[GRRR]
AAH!
AAH!
- ALL RIGHT!
- AND FOR FIRST PLACE
IN THE WESTMINSTER CAT SHOW--
[SPIKE GROWLING]
- POINDEXTER, COME BACK!
- HEY, WHERE WERE YA?
THE JUDGES CAME BY.
- NEVER MIND.
IT MIGHT NO
BE TOO LATE.
- DID YOU GET A LOOK
AT THAT GORGEOUS CAT?
- YEAH. HE'S SURE TO WIN.
- YOU SURE BLEW I
THIS TIME, HEATHCLIFF.
- HMM. AHH.
[HORN BLOWS]
[KISS]
- HEY, MUNGO.
- UNH.
- GEE, MUNGO, YOU GOTTA
BE MORE CAREFUL THAN THAT.
YOU COULDA BEEN
SERIOUSLY HURT.
- WHEN YOU HIT YOUR HEAD,
IT SOUNDED LIKE LEAD.
- HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HECKY,
IS THAT A GROWTH
ON YOUR NECK,
OR IS IT YOUR HEAD?
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO.
- YEOW!
- HEY, WORDSWORTH, I WOULD
LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT.
- HELP ME OUT?
- SURE. JUST TELL ME
WHICH WAY YOU CAME IN.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
- HEY, GUYS,
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
YOU SHOULD SEE MUNGO.
- YEAH, HE'S, LIKE, CHANGED.
HE HIT HIS HEAD
ON THE TRUNK OF A CAR,
AND HE'S, LIKE, DIFFERENT.
- DIFFERENT? HOW CAN
HE BE DIFFERENT?
- HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
- SEE WHAT WE MEAN?
OK, RIFF RAFF.
HOW MUCH LONGER
DO YOU THINK MUNGO
WILL FEEL LIKE THIS?
- I DON'T KNOW, HECTOR,
BUT IT BETTER NO
BE TOO MUCH LONGER.
- SAY, FELLAS, DO YOU KNOW WHY
A CAT SCRATCHES HIMSELF?
'CAUSE HE'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO KNOWS WHERE IT ITCHES.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HEH HEH HA HA HO HO HO.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
- THAT'S THE FUNNIES
THING I EVER SEEN.
BOY, MUNGO'S
TERRIFIC.
WHEN DID HE LEARN
TO BE FUNNY?
HE'S GREAT.
- YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?
- ARE YOU KIDDIN'?
WHY, HE'S EVEN BETTER
THAN THE GUY
THEY HAD AT LAST YEAR'S
JUNKYARD DOG CONVENTION.
- GOSH.
- HA HA HA. YOU SEE
WHAT I MEAN?
THAT'S FUNNY STUFF.
GEE, I WAS REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD
TO THIS YEAR'S
CONVENTION ON SATURDAY.
BUT I HEAR THEY
CAN'T FIND ANYONE
TO ENTERTAIN.
IT JUST WON'
BE THE SAME.
- SAY, LEROY, MAYBE WE CAN
HELP YA OUT HERE.
- YOU DON'T MEAN--
- WHAT?
- NO WAY.
- ARE YOU KIDDIN',
LEROY BABY?
YOU THINK I'D
LET DOWN A PAL?
I LOVE YA. I'LL BE THERE
TO ENTERTAIN FOR YA.
I'LL KNOCK 'EM DEAD.
HA HA HA HA.
- GREAT. ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS GO SEE MAX.
HE'S THE HEAD OF THE
ENTERTAINMENT COMMITTEE.
- LET'S GET GOIN', SWEETHEART.
YOU GUYS ARE GREA
PERSONAL FRIENDS OF MINE.
I LOVE YA. I LOVE YA.
COME ON, WE'LL DO LUNCH.
- [CATS MEOWING]
- UNH.
[CRASH]
- [GRRRR]
- HOW YA DOIN'?
- WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M GONNA MURTLIZE YOU.
- EXCUSE ME, MAX.
- I'LL BE WITH YA
IN A MINUTE, LEROY.
SOON AS I PULVERIZE
THIS WISE GUY.
- SAY, I SEEN
BETTER HEADS THAN YOURS
ON A GLASS OF ROOT BEER.
- HEY, MAX,
THE CAT'S WITH ME.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THE CAT'S WITH YOU?
YOU TURNIN' INTO
A CAT LOVER OR SOMETHIN'?
- NO, MAX, I AIN'
NO CAT LOVER.
I JUST BROUGHT HIM OVER
SO YOU COULD HIRE HIM
FOR THE JUNKYARD DOG
CONVENTION. HE'S FUNNY.
- FUNNY, HUH? OK, FATBOY.
MAKE ME LAUGH.
HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
I CAN'T SEE.
- IT'SSHOW TIME.
- [GRRR]
HUH?
- TA-DA.
- HA HA HA.
YOU WERE RIGHT, LEROY.
HE IS GOOD.
AND YOU BETTER BE GOOD
SATURDAY NIGHT.
- HEY, NO PROBLEM.
HE'LL BE FANTASTIC,
BUT FIRST, WE GOTTA
DISCUSS HIS FEE.
- [GRRR]
YOUR FEE IS THA
I DON'T PULVERIZE
YOUR FUNNY FRIEND OVER THERE
INTO THE GROUND
AND YOU OTHER CATS WITH HIM.
- THAT SOUNDS FAIR.
- [GRRR]
- GOSH, RIFF RAFF,
THAT GUY MEANS BUSINESS.
WHAT IF MUNGO
ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE
ON SATURDAY?
- RELAX, HECTOR.
MUNGO WILL BE FINE.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
- YEAH, MAN.
LIKE A BANK
FULL OF MONEY,
MUNGO IS FUNNY.
- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
MUNGO WILL DO FINE.
I GOT NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
RIGHT, MUNGO?
- UNH.
- I SAID,
RIGHT, MUNGO?
MUNGO.
- UH-OH.
- MUNGO! MUNGO!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
SAY SOMETHING FUNNY.
WHEW. FOR A MINUTE THERE,
I THOUGHT WE WERE IN TROUBLE.
- UH, WHERE ARE WE?
- UH, YOU REMEMBER,
MUNGO.
WE WENT DOWN TO SEE
THE DOGS, AND--
- THE DOGS?!
WHERE ARE THEY?
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE THEY COME BACK.
- HA HA HA. THAT'S THE
FUNNIEST ONE YET, MUNGO.
- I GOT A BAD FEELING
HE ISN'T JOKING THIS TIME.
- UH-OH. THOSE DOGS
WILL TURN US INTO PUTTY
IF MUNGO'S NOT FUNNY.
- COME ON, MUNGO,
YOU'VE GOTTA REMEMBER.
CAN'T YOU REMEMBER
ANY JOKES AT ALL?
- UH, YEAH,
I KNOW A JOKE.
THESE 2, UH, DOGS
WAS WALKIN'
DOWN THE STREET.
ONE DOG TURNS
TO THE OTHER,
UH
- NO, NO, MUNGO.
NEVER MIND.
- MAYBE WORDSWORTH AND ME
CAN MAKE HIM REMEMBER.
- HEY, YOU GUYS
ARE GOOD.
THEY SHOULD
BE ON TV.
- IT'S NO USE.
WE'RE DOOMED.
- OK, PUSSYCATS,
IT'S SHOW TIME.
AND YOU BETTER
BE GOOD, CAT,
'CAUSE MY FELLOW
JUNKYARD DOGS
GOT NO RESPECT FOR
AN UNFUNNY COMEDY CAT.
- DOGS?
JUNKYARD DOGS?
RIFF RAFF!
- DON'T WORRY, MUNGO.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YA.
- [MURMURING]
- WE WANT THE SHOW!
WE WANT THE SHOW!
WE WANT THE SHOW
- YOU HAVE NO CHOICE,
MUNGO.
YOU HAVE TO
GO OUT THERE.
- BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO BE FUNNY.
THEY'LL HATE ME.
- DON'T WORRY, MUNGO.
RIFF RAFF WILL THINK
OF SOMETHING.
- DON'T DESPAIR.
GO OUT THERE
AND RAISE SOME HAIR.
RIFF RAFF WILL GET YOU
OUT OF THE SNARE.
- YEAH, MUNGO.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.
JUST STALL 'EM
FOR AWHILE.
- WANT THE SHOW!
- UH, THESE 2 DOGS
WERE WALKIN' DOWN,
UH, THE STREE
WHEN ONE DOG SAYS,
"HOW ARE YOU D-D-D-D-DOIN'?"
- [AROOO]
- [WHISTLES]
[BOOING]
- HERE. TAKE THESE.
DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE
DOING JUST FINE.
[BOOING CONTINUES]
- HE STINKS.
LET'S GET HIM.
- I'M NOT GOIN'
BACK OUT THERE,
RIFF RAFF.
THEY'RE BEING
MEAN TO ME.
[SOBS] I TOLD YOU
THEY WOULDN'
LIKE ME.
- MUNGO STINKS.
NOW WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO, SMART GUY?
- IT'S NOT WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
IT'S WHAT YOU'REGONNA DO.
- YEOW!
- BREAK A LEG, GUYS.
[BOOING CONTINUES]
- GET THESE GUYS
OUTTA HERE.
- THESE CATS ARE IN
BIG TROUBLE NOW.
- GULP.
- [SNORES]
HEY, WHAT AM I DOIN' HERE?
THERE'S A SHOW TO DO.
[BOOING]
TEE HEE HEE HEE.
HA HA HA HA HA.
- THAT'S MY BOY.
- [CHEERING]
- NOW THAT'S
MORE LIKE IT.
- DOGS?
WHAT AM I DOIN' HERE?
- OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
- UH, 2 DOGS WERE WALKING DOWN
THE, UH, UH, UH, STREET.
- UH-OH.
GOTTA THINK FAST.
HEH HEH HEH.
I GOTTA BORROW THESE
FOR A SECOND.
- [GRUMBLING]
[LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
- WHY, YOU.
- HA HA HA.
- COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
- WE WERE DYIN'
TILL THE PIES
STARTED FLYIN'.
- ALWAYS LEAVE 'EM LAUGHING.
BUT LEAVE 'EM.
- THIS IS A CAT CARRIER.
WHENEVER THE NUTMEGS TAKE ME
TRAVELING BY CAR,
THEY TRY TO PUT ME
IN THIS CARRIER.
THEY MAKE SURE THERE'S PLENTY
OF VENTILATION.
THEY EVEN MAKE SURE I CAN STAND
COMFORTABLY IN THIS THING.
THERE'S NO WAY
I'M GONNA BE COOPED UP.
WHAT THE--
- LOOK AT THIS.
HEATHCLIFF IS ALL SE
FOR THE TRIP.
HE'S EVEN IN HIS CAT CARRIER.
I WONDER HOW HE GOT IN THERE.
- MEOW!
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THE GAME
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE A MYSTERY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GAME
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE A MYSTERY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FINDING EACH CALAMITY
THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
O-O-OH OH
OH-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- HEY, LOOK, MARCY.
SOMEONE'S MOVING INTO
THE OLD MAXFIELD HOUSE.
- MUST BE SOMEONE
WITH A LOT OF MONEY.
THAT'S THE BIGGEST HOUSE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- HI. MY NAME'S
IGGY NUTMEG,
AND THIS IS
MY FRIEND MARCY.
- GEE, HE'S LOVELY.
- [RRMMEOWWW]
- BUT HE'S NOT VERY FRIENDLY.
- POINDEXTER DOESN'
HAVE TO BE FRIENDLY.
HE'S A CHAMPION.
I'M GOING TO ENTER HIM
IN THE WESTMINSTER
CAT SHOW.
- I'VE GO
A CHAMPION CAT, TOO.
HE'S WON ALL SORTS
OF RIBBONS.
- I'M SURE.
- YOU DO?
- YEAH, SURE I DO.
IN FACT, I'M GOING
TO ENTER HIM
IN THE WESTMINSTER
CAT SHOW, TOO.
- I WOULDN'T BOTHER,
IF I WERE YOU.
POINDEXTER IS CERTAIN
TO WALK OFF WITH
FIRST PRIZE.
- OH, YEAH?
WELL, MY CAT IS PRETTY
HOT STUFF HIMSELF.
- SUIT YOURSELVES.
- WHO IS THIS CA
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?
- YOU KNOW,
HEATHCLIFF.
- HEATHCLIFF?!
- HEATHCLIFF!
- HEH HEH HEH HEH.
- [SNORES]
- RISE AND SHINE, SPIKE.
- YEOW!
AAH!
- [HUMMING]
- AAH!
[CRASH]
HUH? WHO GOES THERE?
I'LL MURTLIZE HIM.
- HEY, UH, LOOKIN'
FOR ME, SPIKE?
IN PERSON.
[KISS]
- AAH!
[BOTTLES JIGGLE]
- MMM. MILK.
[JIGGLING]
YOO-HOO.
- YEOW!
- HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
WASTE NOT, WANT NOT.
[GLUG GLUG GLUG]
- GET HIM!
- UH, SORRY, GUYS,
BUT I HAVE A DATE.
OH, SO YOU STILL
WANNA PLAY.
FORGOT TO SAY
"MAY I?" YOU LOSE.
- HIYA, SONJA.
- HI, SONJA.
- HI, BOYS.
- I HAVE TO DELIVER
THIS MILK.
ULP.
- HEATHCLIFF!
- YEOW!
AHH. OOH. AHH. OOH.
- OH, THERE YOU ARE,
HEATHCLIFF.
[KISSES]
- [BURP]
- LISTEN, THERE'S THIS NEW CA
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND I'M GONNA ENTER YOU
AGAINST HIM IN THE CAT SHOW.
I'M TELLIN' YOU,
THIS CAT IS GONNA
RUIN YOUR REPUTATION
IF YOU DON'T WIN.
AW, COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
- OH, MY BEAUTY.
ONE GLANCE AT YOU,
AND MY HEAR
SKIPS A BEAT.
- WELL, WELL, HEATHCLIFF.
THERE'S THAT NEW CAT NOW.
- HEY, WHAT'S THA
GONNA PROVE, HEATHCLIFF?
THAT YOU'RE TOUGHER?
- YEAH.
- WHAT WE HAVE TO PROVE
IS THAT YOU'RE BETTER.
AND THAT'S WHY I'M ENTERING YOU
IN THE WESTMINSTER CAT SHOW.
COME ON, NOW, HEATHCLIFF.
IT'S FOR
THE GOOD OF THE SHOW.
- HO HO HO HO HO HO.
HOW RIDICULOUS.
HO HO HO. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
SOAP AND WATER.
HO HO HO HO HO HO.
- WELL, I GUESS
IT'S THE BEST WE CAN DO.
- HEY, GUYS,
CHECK THIS OUT.
HEATHCLIFF SMELLS
LIKE A SISSY.
HA HA HA HA HA.
- UH-OH.
HEATHCLIFF, NO.
- [GRRR]
- YO!
- OH, MY GOSH!
- I HOPE THEY HAVE
A CATEGORY FOR SLOBS.
- WELCOME TO
THE WESTMINSTER CAT SHOW.
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR CA
IS PROPERLY ENTERED
AND IN HIS RIGHT BOOTH.
GOOD LUCK,
AND THE GRAND PRIZE
IS A LOVE BOA
CRUISE FOR TWO.
- BOY, THERE SURE ARE SOME
GOOD-LOOKING CATS AROUND HERE.
- YEAH. DID YOU SEE THAT REALLY
WELL-GROOMED CAT IN 31?
- YEAH. HE COULD
BE A REAL THREAT.
- HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.
MARMALADE CAT, EH?
I'LL FIX THAT.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
UH, PSST. HEY,
GOOD LOOKIN'.
- HI.
- COME CLOSER.
I'VE, UH,
SOMETHIN' FOR YA.
- FOR ME?
- WOW! DID YOU SEE THA
GREAT-LOOKING PERSIAN
IN NUMBER 12?
- ONE PERSIAN COMING UP.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
[MOTOR RUNS]
- YEOW!
- MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
- UH-OH. HERE COME
THE SNOBS.
GOSH, THAT POINDEXTER
LOOKS GREAT.
HEATHCLIFF
I'M AFRAID IT DOESN'
LOOK GOOD FOR US.
- HEY, UH, SPIKE.
COME HERE AND TAKE
YOUR LICKIN' LIKE A MAN,
YOU DOG.
- NOTHIN' DOIN'.
NO, SIREE.
- COME ON BACK HERE,
YOU LILY-LIVERED COWARD.
COME ON, FIGHT.
[BAWKS LIKE A CHICKEN]
- NO, I MUSTN'T.
- YOU SHOULD
BE ASHAMED
TO CALL YOURSELF
A DOG, YOU DOG.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE?
- OW!
[GRRR]
- MUCH BETTER.
NOW LET'S FIGHT.
- NO.
I WILL NOT FIGHT.
- NOT EVEN NOW?
- [GRRR]
[GRRR]
AAH!
AAH!
- ALL RIGHT!
- AND FOR FIRST PLACE
IN THE WESTMINSTER CAT SHOW--
[SPIKE GROWLING]
- POINDEXTER, COME BACK!
- HEY, WHERE WERE YA?
THE JUDGES CAME BY.
- NEVER MIND.
IT MIGHT NO
BE TOO LATE.
- DID YOU GET A LOOK
AT THAT GORGEOUS CAT?
- YEAH. HE'S SURE TO WIN.
- YOU SURE BLEW I
THIS TIME, HEATHCLIFF.
- HMM. AHH.
[HORN BLOWS]
[KISS]
- HEY, MUNGO.
- UNH.
- GEE, MUNGO, YOU GOTTA
BE MORE CAREFUL THAN THAT.
YOU COULDA BEEN
SERIOUSLY HURT.
- WHEN YOU HIT YOUR HEAD,
IT SOUNDED LIKE LEAD.
- HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HECKY,
IS THAT A GROWTH
ON YOUR NECK,
OR IS IT YOUR HEAD?
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO.
- YEOW!
- HEY, WORDSWORTH, I WOULD
LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT.
- HELP ME OUT?
- SURE. JUST TELL ME
WHICH WAY YOU CAME IN.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
- HEY, GUYS,
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
YOU SHOULD SEE MUNGO.
- YEAH, HE'S, LIKE, CHANGED.
HE HIT HIS HEAD
ON THE TRUNK OF A CAR,
AND HE'S, LIKE, DIFFERENT.
- DIFFERENT? HOW CAN
HE BE DIFFERENT?
- HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
- SEE WHAT WE MEAN?
OK, RIFF RAFF.
HOW MUCH LONGER
DO YOU THINK MUNGO
WILL FEEL LIKE THIS?
- I DON'T KNOW, HECTOR,
BUT IT BETTER NO
BE TOO MUCH LONGER.
- SAY, FELLAS, DO YOU KNOW WHY
A CAT SCRATCHES HIMSELF?
'CAUSE HE'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO KNOWS WHERE IT ITCHES.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HEH HEH HA HA HO HO HO.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
HA HA HEH HEH HO HO HA.
- THAT'S THE FUNNIES
THING I EVER SEEN.
BOY, MUNGO'S
TERRIFIC.
WHEN DID HE LEARN
TO BE FUNNY?
HE'S GREAT.
- YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?
- ARE YOU KIDDIN'?
WHY, HE'S EVEN BETTER
THAN THE GUY
THEY HAD AT LAST YEAR'S
JUNKYARD DOG CONVENTION.
- GOSH.
- HA HA HA. YOU SEE
WHAT I MEAN?
THAT'S FUNNY STUFF.
GEE, I WAS REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD
TO THIS YEAR'S
CONVENTION ON SATURDAY.
BUT I HEAR THEY
CAN'T FIND ANYONE
TO ENTERTAIN.
IT JUST WON'
BE THE SAME.
- SAY, LEROY, MAYBE WE CAN
HELP YA OUT HERE.
- YOU DON'T MEAN--
- WHAT?
- NO WAY.
- ARE YOU KIDDIN',
LEROY BABY?
YOU THINK I'D
LET DOWN A PAL?
I LOVE YA. I'LL BE THERE
TO ENTERTAIN FOR YA.
I'LL KNOCK 'EM DEAD.
HA HA HA HA.
- GREAT. ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS GO SEE MAX.
HE'S THE HEAD OF THE
ENTERTAINMENT COMMITTEE.
- LET'S GET GOIN', SWEETHEART.
YOU GUYS ARE GREA
PERSONAL FRIENDS OF MINE.
I LOVE YA. I LOVE YA.
COME ON, WE'LL DO LUNCH.
- [CATS MEOWING]
- UNH.
[CRASH]
- [GRRRR]
- HOW YA DOIN'?
- WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M GONNA MURTLIZE YOU.
- EXCUSE ME, MAX.
- I'LL BE WITH YA
IN A MINUTE, LEROY.
SOON AS I PULVERIZE
THIS WISE GUY.
- SAY, I SEEN
BETTER HEADS THAN YOURS
ON A GLASS OF ROOT BEER.
- HEY, MAX,
THE CAT'S WITH ME.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THE CAT'S WITH YOU?
YOU TURNIN' INTO
A CAT LOVER OR SOMETHIN'?
- NO, MAX, I AIN'
NO CAT LOVER.
I JUST BROUGHT HIM OVER
SO YOU COULD HIRE HIM
FOR THE JUNKYARD DOG
CONVENTION. HE'S FUNNY.
- FUNNY, HUH? OK, FATBOY.
MAKE ME LAUGH.
HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
I CAN'T SEE.
- IT'SSHOW TIME.
- [GRRR]
HUH?
- TA-DA.
- HA HA HA.
YOU WERE RIGHT, LEROY.
HE IS GOOD.
AND YOU BETTER BE GOOD
SATURDAY NIGHT.
- HEY, NO PROBLEM.
HE'LL BE FANTASTIC,
BUT FIRST, WE GOTTA
DISCUSS HIS FEE.
- [GRRR]
YOUR FEE IS THA
I DON'T PULVERIZE
YOUR FUNNY FRIEND OVER THERE
INTO THE GROUND
AND YOU OTHER CATS WITH HIM.
- THAT SOUNDS FAIR.
- [GRRR]
- GOSH, RIFF RAFF,
THAT GUY MEANS BUSINESS.
WHAT IF MUNGO
ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE
ON SATURDAY?
- RELAX, HECTOR.
MUNGO WILL BE FINE.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
- YEAH, MAN.
LIKE A BANK
FULL OF MONEY,
MUNGO IS FUNNY.
- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
MUNGO WILL DO FINE.
I GOT NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
RIGHT, MUNGO?
- UNH.
- I SAID,
RIGHT, MUNGO?
MUNGO.
- UH-OH.
- MUNGO! MUNGO!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
SAY SOMETHING FUNNY.
WHEW. FOR A MINUTE THERE,
I THOUGHT WE WERE IN TROUBLE.
- UH, WHERE ARE WE?
- UH, YOU REMEMBER,
MUNGO.
WE WENT DOWN TO SEE
THE DOGS, AND--
- THE DOGS?!
WHERE ARE THEY?
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE THEY COME BACK.
- HA HA HA. THAT'S THE
FUNNIEST ONE YET, MUNGO.
- I GOT A BAD FEELING
HE ISN'T JOKING THIS TIME.
- UH-OH. THOSE DOGS
WILL TURN US INTO PUTTY
IF MUNGO'S NOT FUNNY.
- COME ON, MUNGO,
YOU'VE GOTTA REMEMBER.
CAN'T YOU REMEMBER
ANY JOKES AT ALL?
- UH, YEAH,
I KNOW A JOKE.
THESE 2, UH, DOGS
WAS WALKIN'
DOWN THE STREET.
ONE DOG TURNS
TO THE OTHER,
UH
- NO, NO, MUNGO.
NEVER MIND.
- MAYBE WORDSWORTH AND ME
CAN MAKE HIM REMEMBER.
- HEY, YOU GUYS
ARE GOOD.
THEY SHOULD
BE ON TV.
- IT'S NO USE.
WE'RE DOOMED.
- OK, PUSSYCATS,
IT'S SHOW TIME.
AND YOU BETTER
BE GOOD, CAT,
'CAUSE MY FELLOW
JUNKYARD DOGS
GOT NO RESPECT FOR
AN UNFUNNY COMEDY CAT.
- DOGS?
JUNKYARD DOGS?
RIFF RAFF!
- DON'T WORRY, MUNGO.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YA.
- [MURMURING]
- WE WANT THE SHOW!
WE WANT THE SHOW!
WE WANT THE SHOW
- YOU HAVE NO CHOICE,
MUNGO.
YOU HAVE TO
GO OUT THERE.
- BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO BE FUNNY.
THEY'LL HATE ME.
- DON'T WORRY, MUNGO.
RIFF RAFF WILL THINK
OF SOMETHING.
- DON'T DESPAIR.
GO OUT THERE
AND RAISE SOME HAIR.
RIFF RAFF WILL GET YOU
OUT OF THE SNARE.
- YEAH, MUNGO.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.
JUST STALL 'EM
FOR AWHILE.
- WANT THE SHOW!
- UH, THESE 2 DOGS
WERE WALKIN' DOWN,
UH, THE STREE
WHEN ONE DOG SAYS,
"HOW ARE YOU D-D-D-D-DOIN'?"
- [AROOO]
- [WHISTLES]
[BOOING]
- HERE. TAKE THESE.
DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE
DOING JUST FINE.
[BOOING CONTINUES]
- HE STINKS.
LET'S GET HIM.
- I'M NOT GOIN'
BACK OUT THERE,
RIFF RAFF.
THEY'RE BEING
MEAN TO ME.
[SOBS] I TOLD YOU
THEY WOULDN'
LIKE ME.
- MUNGO STINKS.
NOW WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO, SMART GUY?
- IT'S NOT WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
IT'S WHAT YOU'REGONNA DO.
- YEOW!
- BREAK A LEG, GUYS.
[BOOING CONTINUES]
- GET THESE GUYS
OUTTA HERE.
- THESE CATS ARE IN
BIG TROUBLE NOW.
- GULP.
- [SNORES]
HEY, WHAT AM I DOIN' HERE?
THERE'S A SHOW TO DO.
[BOOING]
TEE HEE HEE HEE.
HA HA HA HA HA.
- THAT'S MY BOY.
- [CHEERING]
- NOW THAT'S
MORE LIKE IT.
- DOGS?
WHAT AM I DOIN' HERE?
- OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
- UH, 2 DOGS WERE WALKING DOWN
THE, UH, UH, UH, STREET.
- UH-OH.
GOTTA THINK FAST.
HEH HEH HEH.
I GOTTA BORROW THESE
FOR A SECOND.
- [GRUMBLING]
[LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
- WHY, YOU.
- HA HA HA.
- COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
- WE WERE DYIN'
TILL THE PIES
STARTED FLYIN'.
- ALWAYS LEAVE 'EM LAUGHING.
BUT LEAVE 'EM.
- THIS IS A CAT CARRIER.
WHENEVER THE NUTMEGS TAKE ME
TRAVELING BY CAR,
THEY TRY TO PUT ME
IN THIS CARRIER.
THEY MAKE SURE THERE'S PLENTY
OF VENTILATION.
THEY EVEN MAKE SURE I CAN STAND
COMFORTABLY IN THIS THING.
THERE'S NO WAY
I'M GONNA BE COOPED UP.
WHAT THE--
- LOOK AT THIS.
HEATHCLIFF IS ALL SE
FOR THE TRIP.
HE'S EVEN IN HIS CAT CARRIER.
I WONDER HOW HE GOT IN THERE.
- MEOW!
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THE GAME
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE A MYSTERY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU