Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s02e04 Episode Script
Dr. Heathcliff and Mr. Spike/Time Warped
1
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
Grandpa:
WHERE'S HEATHCLIFF?
YUCCH!
I'VE GOT HIS
BREAKFAST.
HEATHCLIFF'S STILL
SLEEPING, GRANDPA.
HE JUST DOESN'T SEEM
TO HAVE ANY ENERGY.
I'VE GOT JUS
THE THING FOR HIM.
I GOT THESE VITAMINS
AT THE PET STORE.
I'LL SLIP IT IN HIS
FOOD, SO HE WON'T KNOW
HE'S TAKING IT.
YOU KNOW HOW HEATHCLIFF
HATES TO TAKE PILLS.
I'MSOTIRED.
HEATHCLIFF!
HEATHCLIFF.
HEATHCLIFF,
WAKE UP!
YOUR BREAKFAST'S
READY!
[SNORING]
[YAWNS]
Iggy: HEATHCLIFF,
WAKE UP!
OH, I'M REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE
YOU TO THE VET TODAY
FOR A CHECKUP.
VET?!
OK, OK!
I GET THE MESSAGE.
JUST COME AND EA
YOUR BREAKFAST.
Both:
HEATHCLIFF, WAKE UP!
[SPLAT]
FORGET IT, IGGY.
HE'S OUT COLD.
I KNOW HOW
TO WAKE HIM.
[CRASH]
MEOW!
WORKS EVERY TIME!
NOW, EAT YOUR
BREAKFAST.
THAT WILL MAKE
YOU FEEL BETTER.
PTOO!
AW, COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
IT'S JUST A VITAMIN.
IF IT'S JUST A VITAMIN,
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SNEAK
IT INTO MY FOOD? HMM
IT WILL GIVE
YOU ENERGY.
YEAH, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU'VE BEEN AWFULLY
TIRED LATELY.
WELL, I GUESS I HAVEN'
BEEN MYSELF LATELY.
I GUESS
IT COULDN'T HURT.
[HICCUP HICCUP]
THERE.
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
JUST ONE OF THESE DOGGIE
VITAMINS EVERY DAY, AND--
DOGGIE VITAMINS?!
AAH! DOG?!
WHOA!
DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC.
IT WAS A SIMPLE MISTAKE.
IT WON'T HURT YOU.
HUH?
ARRGH!
YECCH!
DOGGIE VITAMINS.
WELL, I GUESS GRANDPA'S RIGHT.
WHAT COULD HAPPEN? WOOF!
HEY! WOOF! WOOF!
IT'S THE MILKMAN!
WOOF!
OH, NO!
IT'S HEATHCLIFF!
WOOF!
NO!
I THINK THESE BELONG--WOOF!
TO YOU--WOOF!
HEATHCLIFF?!
WOOF! RRRR!
WHAT CAME OVER ME?
Man: HI, HEATHCLIFF.
HOW YOU DOING?
I'VE GO
A FULL LOAD TODAY.
I KNOW THAT MAKES
YOU HAPPY.
HEY!
HEATHCLIFF!
W-WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?!
RRR!
HEATHCLIFF!
GIVE ME BACK
MY SHOE!
YEOWCH!
WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO THAT CAT?
OH!
WHAT AM I DOING
OUT HERE?
EH, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
IT'S CHOW TIME!
I KNOW I SHOULD BE GOING
IN HERE, BUT, UM
SOMEHOW FISH DOESN'T SOUND
GOOD TO ME ANYMORE.
I'M HAVING THE
STRANGEST CRAVINGS,
BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WANT!
THAT'S IT!
THAT'S WHAT I WANT!
WHY, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HIT YOU, SPIKE.
ACCEPT MY
APOLOGIES, PAL.
PAL?
WHAT AM I SAYING?
L-LOOK, HEATHCLIFF.
I-I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.
COME ON, SPIKE. I JUS
WANT TO BE FRIENDS.
IT'S A TRICK!
Y-YOU'RE GOING
TO HURT ME!
SOMETIMES IT'S SO HARD
TO BE FRIENDLY.
COME ON, SPIKE!
LET'S BE BUDDIES!
HI!
SPIKE, CAN'T WE--
WHATEVER YOU'RE
PLANNING, HEATHCLIFF,
JUST DO IT!
G-GET IT OVER WITH!
I'M NOT PLANNING
ANYTHING.
I CAN'
TAKE IT ANYMORE!
OWW!
OWW!
THIS IS WHAT YOU
WERE PLANNING TO DO!
OR MAYBE YOU WERE
GOING TO DO THIS!
I GOT IT!
IT MUST HAVE BEEN--
[CRASH]
THERE!
NOW ARE YOU HAPPY?!
[BABBLING]
DOGS SURE ARE STRANGE!
[SIREN]
[HOWL]
I BETTER GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE ANYONE SEES ME
ACTING LIKE THIS!
OH, THIS IS TOO MUCH.
I GOT TO GO THE PET SHOP AND
GET SOME SUPER CAT VITAMINS
TO COUNTERACT THESE
DOGGIE VITAMINS! WOOF! WOOF!
WELL, THIS IS
THE PLACE.
THESE OUGHT TO
DO THE TRICK!
Parrot:
SQUAWK! STOP, THIEF, STOP!
POLLY WANT A BIG
FIST IN THE MOUTH?
SQUAWK! YOU PU
THAT BACK!
PUT WHAT BACK?
THESE!
WHERE DID THA
COME FROM?
YIKES!
NOW, STAY AWAY!
WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO?
[HOWLS]
THAT CAT OUT THERE
IS MAKING FUN OF US
BECAUSE WE'RE LOCKED UP
AND HE'S FREE.
LET'S BREAK OU
OF THIS JOIN
AND TEACH HIM
A LESSON!
[BANGING AND RATTLING]
WHAT IS ALL THIS?
HIM AGAIN!
HERE, TAKE THE VITAMINS.
JUST GET OUT OF HERE,
YOU'RE DRIVING
THE DOGS CRAZY!
AT LAST!
THE ANTIDOTE!
UHH!
JUST AS I SUSPECTED.
CHILD-PROOF TOP.
ALL I NEED IS A CHILD!
IGGY!
AHEM!
THERE! THAT OUGH
TO FIX YOU UP.
THERE ARE SOME ADVANTAGES
TO HAVING HUMANS AROUND.
HA HA HA!
RUFF! RUFF!
MEOW!
NOW, THOSE ARE
GREAT VITAMINS!
MEOW! MEOW!
THAT'S MY
HEATHCLIFF!
[SNORING]
HEY!
WHAT'S THAT?
YEOW! WHA--
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OOF!
HUH?
OK, OK!
YOU MISERABLE JUNKYARD CATS
STAY AWAY FROM THIS STUFF.
HEAR ME? IT'S DANGEROUS.
COME FROM THE LABORATORY
OF SOME WEIRD PROFESSOR
NAMED CRAZYLOON.
A LOT OF WORK FOR
NOTHING. IT'S JUS
A BUNCH OF JUNK.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY
THEY SENT I
TO A JUNKYARD.
OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
Hector: WHAT IS IT?
Mungo: I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT SURE LOOKS NEAT!
Riff Raff: LOOKS LIKE AN
ENGINE, A POWERFUL ENGINE.
YEAH! MAYBE IT WILL FI
IN THE CADILLAC.
NOT BAD!
IT FITS JUST FINE.
GUESS WE OUGHT TO
GIVE IT A SPIN.
IT'S A MEAN MACHINE FROM
PROFESSOR CRAZYLOON.
SOUNDS LIKE
A ROCKETSHIP,
HEADING FOR THE MOON!
MUNGO!
THIS WAS
YOUR IDEA--AAH!
YOU CRAZY CA--
All: YOW!
OOH! OWW! YOW!
PLLEH! WHERE ARE WE?
UH, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHA--
All: WHOA!
Wordsworth: SOMEHOW TIME
IS TOTALLY MESSED,
WE ENDED UP
IN THE WILD WEST!
WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE
THE SAME WAY WE GOT HERE!
Crazyloon: YOU ARE NOW PAR
OF PROFESSOR CRAZYLOON'S
GREATEST INVENTION:
THE TIME MACHINE!
ACCORDING TO THE PRESEN
TIME MODE, YOU SHOULD BE
IN THE OLD WEST.
YOU HAVE EXACTLY 8 HOURS
BEFORE THE MACHINE
RETURNS AUTOMATICALLY
TO THE PLACE
WHERE YOU STARTED.
OF COURSE, THIS TIME
MACHINE ISN'T GUARANTEED
TO RETURN AT ALL.
SO, YOU MAY BE STUCK,
BUT THANKS FOR BEING
MY GUINEA PIGS.
BETTER HIDE THE CADILLAC.
AS LONG AS WE'RE STUCK
HERE FOR A WHILE,
LET'S DO A LITTLE
INVESTIGATING.
WOW! WE REALLY ARE
IN THE OLD WEST.
Man:
HEY, YOU! WAIT!
HOLD IT!
COME BACK!
HA HA HA! NO WAY!
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE!
All: WHOA!
YOW!
YOW!
I DON'T KITTEN MUCH
TO CATS THAT GE
IN MY WAY, YOU HEAR?
YES, SIR!
W-WHATEVER YOU SAY, SIR!
DON'T ANY OF YOU ALL
GET IN MY WAY AGAIN,
'CAUSE IF YOU DO,
I'LL TOSS YOU ALL IN
JAIL AND THROW AWAY
THE KEY, YOU HEAR?
All: YES, SIR!
WHATEVER YOU SAY, SHERIFF!
[DOOR OPENS]
HOWDY! WELCOME TO
THE CAT-TOWN GENERAL STORE.
GREAT TARNATION!
WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE
SISSY-LOOKING OUTFITS?
AND WHEELS ON YOUR BOOTS?
HUH? THIS?
Man: HOLY MACKEREL! I NEVER!
HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
HEY, COME BACK!
COME BACK HERE,
YOU VARMINT!
Both: YOW! OOH! WHOA!
Riff Raff:
I THINK WE'RE IN TROUBLE!
I'M GOING TO GE
THE SHERIFF AFTER YOU
SISSY-DRESSED VARMINTS
FOR BEING IN CAHOOTS
WITH THE THIEF!
[PANTING]
Crazyloon: I'LL BET YOU'RE
HAVING FUN IN THE OLD WEST,
BUT ONLY 6 HOURS LEFT!
HASN'T BEEN MUCH
FUN YET!
BUT IT'S
ABOUT TO BE!
PRETTY BRAVE MOUSE,
WALKING UP TO A CAT.
OUT OF MY WAY, YOU
SISSY-DRESSED GREENHORN!
YOW!
YOW!
[DRAWLING]
NOW, MAYBE WE'LL
GET SOME RE-SPECT!
[PIANO PLAYING]
[CHEERING]
Man: WELL,
OUT OF MY WAY!
All: YOW! WHOA!
ONE MILK,
SMOOTH AS SILK!
YA-HOO, MAKE THAT TWO!
LEAVE THE
BOTTLE.
MIND IF I SIT IN?
HIYA, STRANGER.
I'M MISS KITTY.
YOU MUST BE NEW IN
THESE HERE PARTS.
WELL, NO
Riff Raff:
ACE OF SPADES!
ALL MINE! ALL MINE!
WHY DON'T WE GO OU
TO LOOK AT THE
SUNSET?
BUT IT'S STILL
MORNING.
Hector: YOU KNOW, YOU GO
BEAUTIFUL CAT'S EYES.
I DON'T LIKE
YOUR LOOKS, PARDNER!
AND I DON'T LIKE
YOUR LOOKS LOOKING
AT MY GIRL.
LOOK, MR. POLECAT, SIR,
I'M NOT LOOKING AT--
OHH!
SO, LOOKY-HERE,
YOU INTERLOPING LOOKER!
WE'LL BE LOOKING FOR YOU
AT THE KITTY-CAT CORRAL.
HIGH NOON, MY GANG
AGAINST YOUR GANG.
HEY, POLECAT! COME LOOK
AT THE GREAT WAGON I FOUND!
SURE, BILLY THE CAT!
BE RIGHT THERE!
Hector: YEOW!
Polecat: BILLY! THIS IS
THE BEST WAGON WE EVER TOOK!
BUT THAT'S OURS!
HA HA HA!
NOT ANYMORE!
Crazyloon:
ONLY ONE HOUR LEFT.
HAVE FUN!
WE'RE RUNNING
OUT OF TIME.
Man: JUST FOLLOW
THE DIRECTIONS I GAVE YOU,
AND YOU'LL HEAD STRAIGH
FOR POLECAT'S HANGOUT.
AFTER YOU'RE DONE,
JUST CUT THE HORSES LOOSE.
THEY KNOW THE WAY BACK.
AND LEAVE THIS OLD WRECK
IN THE JUNKPILE.
THANKS FOR THE LOAN.
ANYTHING I CAN DO TO
HELP PUT THAT ORNERY
POLECAT IN HIS PLACE.
HOLD UP! THEY
HELD UP THE BANK!
COME ON, POSSE!
I KNEW THOSE SISSY
GREENHORNS WERE TROUBLE!
GUYS, THERE'S A BUNCH
OF GUYS YELLING.
MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP!
Crazyloon: ISN'T THE
OLD WEST EXCITING?
ONLY 30 MINUTES LEFT!
NO TIME TO STOP
AND CHAT, MUNGO!
[SNIFF SNIFF]
WHOA! WHAT'S
THAT SMELL?
[SNIFF SNIFF]
SKUNKS! THEY'RE
SHOOTING SKUNK WADS!
LOAD UP YOUR
SKUNK WADS, BOYS!
WE'LL MAKE THOSE
VARMINTS SMELL LIKE
THE SKUNKS THEY ARE!
Riff Raff:
THERE'S THE CADILLAC.
HECTOR, YOU AND WORDSWORTH
SEE IF YOU CAN GET IT STARTED.
NOW!
WHOA!
[COUGHING]
BETTER GET ON THE TRACK,
OR WE WON'T BE GOING BACK!
WE GIVE UP!
THE STINK IS TOO MUCH!
THEY BETTER GET THE
CADILLAC STARTED SOON!
Crazyloon: ONE MINUTE
TO RETURNUH, MAYBE.
N-NOTHING'S HAPPENING!
IT WON'T START!
Crazyloon: 10, 9, 8,
7, 6,
5, 4, 3,
2, 1!
BLASTOFF!
All: WHOA! AAH! OOH!
--ATS!
BOY, YOU GUYS
DRESS SILLY!
Crazyloon: NOW, TELL THE TRUTH.
DIDN'T YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
All: GRRR!
WE'LL SHOW YOU!
WE'LL SHOW YOU!
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY A CAT ALWAYS
LANDS ON HIS FEET.
EVEN IF HE FALLS OFF THE EMPIRE
STATE BUILDING.
CATS ARE VERY WELL BALANCED,
MOST OF THE TIME.
BUT CATS ARE MADE OF FLESH AND
BONE, JUST LIKE YOU KIDS.
AND ONCE IN A LONG WHILE
ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.
EVEN TO THE BEST OF US.
IF YOU THINK YOUR CAT HAS A
BROKEN BONE,
TAKE HIM OR HER TO THE VET.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL
AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
Grandpa:
WHERE'S HEATHCLIFF?
YUCCH!
I'VE GOT HIS
BREAKFAST.
HEATHCLIFF'S STILL
SLEEPING, GRANDPA.
HE JUST DOESN'T SEEM
TO HAVE ANY ENERGY.
I'VE GOT JUS
THE THING FOR HIM.
I GOT THESE VITAMINS
AT THE PET STORE.
I'LL SLIP IT IN HIS
FOOD, SO HE WON'T KNOW
HE'S TAKING IT.
YOU KNOW HOW HEATHCLIFF
HATES TO TAKE PILLS.
I'MSOTIRED.
HEATHCLIFF!
HEATHCLIFF.
HEATHCLIFF,
WAKE UP!
YOUR BREAKFAST'S
READY!
[SNORING]
[YAWNS]
Iggy: HEATHCLIFF,
WAKE UP!
OH, I'M REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE
YOU TO THE VET TODAY
FOR A CHECKUP.
VET?!
OK, OK!
I GET THE MESSAGE.
JUST COME AND EA
YOUR BREAKFAST.
Both:
HEATHCLIFF, WAKE UP!
[SPLAT]
FORGET IT, IGGY.
HE'S OUT COLD.
I KNOW HOW
TO WAKE HIM.
[CRASH]
MEOW!
WORKS EVERY TIME!
NOW, EAT YOUR
BREAKFAST.
THAT WILL MAKE
YOU FEEL BETTER.
PTOO!
AW, COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
IT'S JUST A VITAMIN.
IF IT'S JUST A VITAMIN,
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SNEAK
IT INTO MY FOOD? HMM
IT WILL GIVE
YOU ENERGY.
YEAH, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU'VE BEEN AWFULLY
TIRED LATELY.
WELL, I GUESS I HAVEN'
BEEN MYSELF LATELY.
I GUESS
IT COULDN'T HURT.
[HICCUP HICCUP]
THERE.
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
JUST ONE OF THESE DOGGIE
VITAMINS EVERY DAY, AND--
DOGGIE VITAMINS?!
AAH! DOG?!
WHOA!
DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC.
IT WAS A SIMPLE MISTAKE.
IT WON'T HURT YOU.
HUH?
ARRGH!
YECCH!
DOGGIE VITAMINS.
WELL, I GUESS GRANDPA'S RIGHT.
WHAT COULD HAPPEN? WOOF!
HEY! WOOF! WOOF!
IT'S THE MILKMAN!
WOOF!
OH, NO!
IT'S HEATHCLIFF!
WOOF!
NO!
I THINK THESE BELONG--WOOF!
TO YOU--WOOF!
HEATHCLIFF?!
WOOF! RRRR!
WHAT CAME OVER ME?
Man: HI, HEATHCLIFF.
HOW YOU DOING?
I'VE GO
A FULL LOAD TODAY.
I KNOW THAT MAKES
YOU HAPPY.
HEY!
HEATHCLIFF!
W-WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?!
RRR!
HEATHCLIFF!
GIVE ME BACK
MY SHOE!
YEOWCH!
WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO THAT CAT?
OH!
WHAT AM I DOING
OUT HERE?
EH, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
IT'S CHOW TIME!
I KNOW I SHOULD BE GOING
IN HERE, BUT, UM
SOMEHOW FISH DOESN'T SOUND
GOOD TO ME ANYMORE.
I'M HAVING THE
STRANGEST CRAVINGS,
BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WANT!
THAT'S IT!
THAT'S WHAT I WANT!
WHY, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HIT YOU, SPIKE.
ACCEPT MY
APOLOGIES, PAL.
PAL?
WHAT AM I SAYING?
L-LOOK, HEATHCLIFF.
I-I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.
COME ON, SPIKE. I JUS
WANT TO BE FRIENDS.
IT'S A TRICK!
Y-YOU'RE GOING
TO HURT ME!
SOMETIMES IT'S SO HARD
TO BE FRIENDLY.
COME ON, SPIKE!
LET'S BE BUDDIES!
HI!
SPIKE, CAN'T WE--
WHATEVER YOU'RE
PLANNING, HEATHCLIFF,
JUST DO IT!
G-GET IT OVER WITH!
I'M NOT PLANNING
ANYTHING.
I CAN'
TAKE IT ANYMORE!
OWW!
OWW!
THIS IS WHAT YOU
WERE PLANNING TO DO!
OR MAYBE YOU WERE
GOING TO DO THIS!
I GOT IT!
IT MUST HAVE BEEN--
[CRASH]
THERE!
NOW ARE YOU HAPPY?!
[BABBLING]
DOGS SURE ARE STRANGE!
[SIREN]
[HOWL]
I BETTER GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE ANYONE SEES ME
ACTING LIKE THIS!
OH, THIS IS TOO MUCH.
I GOT TO GO THE PET SHOP AND
GET SOME SUPER CAT VITAMINS
TO COUNTERACT THESE
DOGGIE VITAMINS! WOOF! WOOF!
WELL, THIS IS
THE PLACE.
THESE OUGHT TO
DO THE TRICK!
Parrot:
SQUAWK! STOP, THIEF, STOP!
POLLY WANT A BIG
FIST IN THE MOUTH?
SQUAWK! YOU PU
THAT BACK!
PUT WHAT BACK?
THESE!
WHERE DID THA
COME FROM?
YIKES!
NOW, STAY AWAY!
WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO?
[HOWLS]
THAT CAT OUT THERE
IS MAKING FUN OF US
BECAUSE WE'RE LOCKED UP
AND HE'S FREE.
LET'S BREAK OU
OF THIS JOIN
AND TEACH HIM
A LESSON!
[BANGING AND RATTLING]
WHAT IS ALL THIS?
HIM AGAIN!
HERE, TAKE THE VITAMINS.
JUST GET OUT OF HERE,
YOU'RE DRIVING
THE DOGS CRAZY!
AT LAST!
THE ANTIDOTE!
UHH!
JUST AS I SUSPECTED.
CHILD-PROOF TOP.
ALL I NEED IS A CHILD!
IGGY!
AHEM!
THERE! THAT OUGH
TO FIX YOU UP.
THERE ARE SOME ADVANTAGES
TO HAVING HUMANS AROUND.
HA HA HA!
RUFF! RUFF!
MEOW!
NOW, THOSE ARE
GREAT VITAMINS!
MEOW! MEOW!
THAT'S MY
HEATHCLIFF!
[SNORING]
HEY!
WHAT'S THAT?
YEOW! WHA--
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OOF!
HUH?
OK, OK!
YOU MISERABLE JUNKYARD CATS
STAY AWAY FROM THIS STUFF.
HEAR ME? IT'S DANGEROUS.
COME FROM THE LABORATORY
OF SOME WEIRD PROFESSOR
NAMED CRAZYLOON.
A LOT OF WORK FOR
NOTHING. IT'S JUS
A BUNCH OF JUNK.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY
THEY SENT I
TO A JUNKYARD.
OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
Hector: WHAT IS IT?
Mungo: I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT SURE LOOKS NEAT!
Riff Raff: LOOKS LIKE AN
ENGINE, A POWERFUL ENGINE.
YEAH! MAYBE IT WILL FI
IN THE CADILLAC.
NOT BAD!
IT FITS JUST FINE.
GUESS WE OUGHT TO
GIVE IT A SPIN.
IT'S A MEAN MACHINE FROM
PROFESSOR CRAZYLOON.
SOUNDS LIKE
A ROCKETSHIP,
HEADING FOR THE MOON!
MUNGO!
THIS WAS
YOUR IDEA--AAH!
YOU CRAZY CA--
All: YOW!
OOH! OWW! YOW!
PLLEH! WHERE ARE WE?
UH, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHA--
All: WHOA!
Wordsworth: SOMEHOW TIME
IS TOTALLY MESSED,
WE ENDED UP
IN THE WILD WEST!
WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE
THE SAME WAY WE GOT HERE!
Crazyloon: YOU ARE NOW PAR
OF PROFESSOR CRAZYLOON'S
GREATEST INVENTION:
THE TIME MACHINE!
ACCORDING TO THE PRESEN
TIME MODE, YOU SHOULD BE
IN THE OLD WEST.
YOU HAVE EXACTLY 8 HOURS
BEFORE THE MACHINE
RETURNS AUTOMATICALLY
TO THE PLACE
WHERE YOU STARTED.
OF COURSE, THIS TIME
MACHINE ISN'T GUARANTEED
TO RETURN AT ALL.
SO, YOU MAY BE STUCK,
BUT THANKS FOR BEING
MY GUINEA PIGS.
BETTER HIDE THE CADILLAC.
AS LONG AS WE'RE STUCK
HERE FOR A WHILE,
LET'S DO A LITTLE
INVESTIGATING.
WOW! WE REALLY ARE
IN THE OLD WEST.
Man:
HEY, YOU! WAIT!
HOLD IT!
COME BACK!
HA HA HA! NO WAY!
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE!
All: WHOA!
YOW!
YOW!
I DON'T KITTEN MUCH
TO CATS THAT GE
IN MY WAY, YOU HEAR?
YES, SIR!
W-WHATEVER YOU SAY, SIR!
DON'T ANY OF YOU ALL
GET IN MY WAY AGAIN,
'CAUSE IF YOU DO,
I'LL TOSS YOU ALL IN
JAIL AND THROW AWAY
THE KEY, YOU HEAR?
All: YES, SIR!
WHATEVER YOU SAY, SHERIFF!
[DOOR OPENS]
HOWDY! WELCOME TO
THE CAT-TOWN GENERAL STORE.
GREAT TARNATION!
WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE
SISSY-LOOKING OUTFITS?
AND WHEELS ON YOUR BOOTS?
HUH? THIS?
Man: HOLY MACKEREL! I NEVER!
HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
HEY, COME BACK!
COME BACK HERE,
YOU VARMINT!
Both: YOW! OOH! WHOA!
Riff Raff:
I THINK WE'RE IN TROUBLE!
I'M GOING TO GE
THE SHERIFF AFTER YOU
SISSY-DRESSED VARMINTS
FOR BEING IN CAHOOTS
WITH THE THIEF!
[PANTING]
Crazyloon: I'LL BET YOU'RE
HAVING FUN IN THE OLD WEST,
BUT ONLY 6 HOURS LEFT!
HASN'T BEEN MUCH
FUN YET!
BUT IT'S
ABOUT TO BE!
PRETTY BRAVE MOUSE,
WALKING UP TO A CAT.
OUT OF MY WAY, YOU
SISSY-DRESSED GREENHORN!
YOW!
YOW!
[DRAWLING]
NOW, MAYBE WE'LL
GET SOME RE-SPECT!
[PIANO PLAYING]
[CHEERING]
Man: WELL,
OUT OF MY WAY!
All: YOW! WHOA!
ONE MILK,
SMOOTH AS SILK!
YA-HOO, MAKE THAT TWO!
LEAVE THE
BOTTLE.
MIND IF I SIT IN?
HIYA, STRANGER.
I'M MISS KITTY.
YOU MUST BE NEW IN
THESE HERE PARTS.
WELL, NO
Riff Raff:
ACE OF SPADES!
ALL MINE! ALL MINE!
WHY DON'T WE GO OU
TO LOOK AT THE
SUNSET?
BUT IT'S STILL
MORNING.
Hector: YOU KNOW, YOU GO
BEAUTIFUL CAT'S EYES.
I DON'T LIKE
YOUR LOOKS, PARDNER!
AND I DON'T LIKE
YOUR LOOKS LOOKING
AT MY GIRL.
LOOK, MR. POLECAT, SIR,
I'M NOT LOOKING AT--
OHH!
SO, LOOKY-HERE,
YOU INTERLOPING LOOKER!
WE'LL BE LOOKING FOR YOU
AT THE KITTY-CAT CORRAL.
HIGH NOON, MY GANG
AGAINST YOUR GANG.
HEY, POLECAT! COME LOOK
AT THE GREAT WAGON I FOUND!
SURE, BILLY THE CAT!
BE RIGHT THERE!
Hector: YEOW!
Polecat: BILLY! THIS IS
THE BEST WAGON WE EVER TOOK!
BUT THAT'S OURS!
HA HA HA!
NOT ANYMORE!
Crazyloon:
ONLY ONE HOUR LEFT.
HAVE FUN!
WE'RE RUNNING
OUT OF TIME.
Man: JUST FOLLOW
THE DIRECTIONS I GAVE YOU,
AND YOU'LL HEAD STRAIGH
FOR POLECAT'S HANGOUT.
AFTER YOU'RE DONE,
JUST CUT THE HORSES LOOSE.
THEY KNOW THE WAY BACK.
AND LEAVE THIS OLD WRECK
IN THE JUNKPILE.
THANKS FOR THE LOAN.
ANYTHING I CAN DO TO
HELP PUT THAT ORNERY
POLECAT IN HIS PLACE.
HOLD UP! THEY
HELD UP THE BANK!
COME ON, POSSE!
I KNEW THOSE SISSY
GREENHORNS WERE TROUBLE!
GUYS, THERE'S A BUNCH
OF GUYS YELLING.
MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP!
Crazyloon: ISN'T THE
OLD WEST EXCITING?
ONLY 30 MINUTES LEFT!
NO TIME TO STOP
AND CHAT, MUNGO!
[SNIFF SNIFF]
WHOA! WHAT'S
THAT SMELL?
[SNIFF SNIFF]
SKUNKS! THEY'RE
SHOOTING SKUNK WADS!
LOAD UP YOUR
SKUNK WADS, BOYS!
WE'LL MAKE THOSE
VARMINTS SMELL LIKE
THE SKUNKS THEY ARE!
Riff Raff:
THERE'S THE CADILLAC.
HECTOR, YOU AND WORDSWORTH
SEE IF YOU CAN GET IT STARTED.
NOW!
WHOA!
[COUGHING]
BETTER GET ON THE TRACK,
OR WE WON'T BE GOING BACK!
WE GIVE UP!
THE STINK IS TOO MUCH!
THEY BETTER GET THE
CADILLAC STARTED SOON!
Crazyloon: ONE MINUTE
TO RETURNUH, MAYBE.
N-NOTHING'S HAPPENING!
IT WON'T START!
Crazyloon: 10, 9, 8,
7, 6,
5, 4, 3,
2, 1!
BLASTOFF!
All: WHOA! AAH! OOH!
--ATS!
BOY, YOU GUYS
DRESS SILLY!
Crazyloon: NOW, TELL THE TRUTH.
DIDN'T YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
All: GRRR!
WE'LL SHOW YOU!
WE'LL SHOW YOU!
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY A CAT ALWAYS
LANDS ON HIS FEET.
EVEN IF HE FALLS OFF THE EMPIRE
STATE BUILDING.
CATS ARE VERY WELL BALANCED,
MOST OF THE TIME.
BUT CATS ARE MADE OF FLESH AND
BONE, JUST LIKE YOU KIDS.
AND ONCE IN A LONG WHILE
ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.
EVEN TO THE BEST OF US.
IF YOU THINK YOUR CAT HAS A
BROKEN BONE,
TAKE HIM OR HER TO THE VET.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL
AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION