Hellfjord (2012) s01e06 Episode Script
Episode 6
Is that a cow?
Dad gave it to me in
my sixth grade.
Load up the sea serpent.
Heard he talked about a sea serpent,
I thought maybe I'd pay her a visit.
Mewling quim!
It's no sea serpent.
I think it's a submarine
Bosse has smuggled loads of drugs.
-Is he dead or not?
-Not quite.
Let's raidiate!
-Salamander?
-Yes?
It's Fiks.
What's up?
I must return to Oslo.
This is Salmanders voicemail.
Can't reply, leave a message after the beep.
Hi Salmander, this is Johanne.
AUNTIE COZY
Why didn't you tell me?
About you
-Don't know.
-Only being here for 3 months, that you
had been fired and stuff?
Because it was embarrassing.
I was going to
I thought
in my stupidity, that
If I did a fantastic job up here
as a policeman, then
they'd hire me again.
And
Now it's all over.
Now they'll surely send up a
new boyfriend.
A new new policeman
who can
take over.
Salmander, we're so close
to solving this whole case.
You have done a fantastic job here.
You have to inform your boss about
everything we've investigated and found out.
Tell him, and I'm sure
you'll get your job back.
No, I
I don't know.
Don't know.
I've really
never
ever
Go back to Oslo
and meet up with your boss,
report what you've seen here,
and ask him to send you back.
OK.
-OK?
-OK.
Good.
-Good.
-You
OK.
I seem to remember saying
that I never wanted to see you again.
-It's about Hellfjord.
-Loose the gum!
-So, Hellfjord?
-I must go back as policeman.
You're no longer a policeman.
-I think something is happening up there.
-Oh yeah?
Well, you've got
-One minute.
-Yes.
Starting now!
When I came up there, we saw
a man killed with a cellphone.
He
There's a sea serpent there.
Well, not a sea serpent,
but a submarine disguised as one.
But anyway, at the fish plant,
a Swede is working there,
they're boiling pigs bones,
and there's blood everywhere.
And Bosse Nova, he's one of those
heroin guys. He's done this before.
From the plant, a guy came and
attacked me at home with a knife,
-a knife from the fish plant.
-Right. Salamander?
-Yes?
-Not a word more!
There is someone in this room
who has read too much Donald Duck.
This is all true.
-And you can prove it?
-Yes, Kobba. Just call the bent old man.
You can see that
I see a desperate loser doing anything to
get a job by telling ridiculous tall tales.
-Cactus lice.
-What?
Boxes of cactus lice outside the fish plant.
Can you explain that?
-Cactus lice?
-And under the deceased's nails.
Cactus lice? That proves nothing.
It's very common.
They use cactus lice in
in candy, sweets, gelatin.
It's being used in lots of things,
it's very common.
Salmander, I'll confide something to you.
Know what I've found out?
The shopping mall has
a vacancy as restroom watch.
Throw, it in the lavatory.
At the mall.
Fish cake?
It's quiet here without Salmander.
Yes, it was, until you started yakking.
So
You don't miss him at all?
Miss him?
One misses the good conversation.
It's not as if
you have much to offer.
You can bake and fire a pistol and
fuck and cook and
wash and vacuum and clean.
Walk the dog,
and make a damn good bacalao.
Cut my nails and
Sew.
Otherwise, you don't even speak Norwegian.
No.
I can not speak Norwegian.
Have some.
What did you put in?
Are they made from vomit?
Yes, come on, people!
Hurry up, hurry up!
Sure, it's under control.
Yes, he's gone.
Next delivery ..ill be as planned,
it'll be a huge one.
No, they're working really hard down there,
doing their best.
Fuck.
THE BIG BLUE
I'll have cod with potatoes
and a glass of ice water.
Oh my god.
Of course.
Do you know that in Iran
they cut thieves' fingers off?
And what do they do
with drug felons?
I don't know, actually.
But I wanted to say something cool, cause
"Uncle Buck, you know what?" wasn't scary.
Take her along.
HEROIN IN FISH EYES
Something wrong with the fish?
You forgot to pay.
I didn't eat anything.
That's the wrong way.
Hey!
-What the hell are you doing?
-Checking the fish.
-In English, motherfucker.
-I'm a fish inspector, inspecting the fish.
I'm looking at the sex of your fish,
male and female, and I'm satisfied.
Well, OK, I'm going to go now.
Thank you.
You're not going until
I find out what you're doing.
Thank you for the hug.
OK.
Look! Ben Johnson!
Shouldn't be doing that alone.
Shit!
-You're gonna die!
-Yes, you are!
-What is that?
-I won't say anything.
In English, motherfucker!
What is this?
This is no fucking fish eye.
Gelatin.
This option is not available now.
Please try again later.
You're quite
nosy, little lady.
Found out some things
about you, Bosse Nova.
I see.
But this time
you're going to die
because you are a nosy parker.
You've reached Johanne's voicemail.
Hi, call when you can,
I've phoned you lots of times.
I've found out about Bosse
and what he's up to.
I'm coming up north as soon as I can.
Call me back. Bye.
You know hat?
This community ..as a quiet,
peaceful, harmonious place
until you and your 'friend" poked your noses
into our little, delicious fruit salad.
Hopefully it will return to that
when you disappear.
Hi, this s Kobba.
Sorry, I cant answer the phone
right now, so just
Shut up!Silence!Be quiet!
Riina! Get that mongrel out
before I shoot her in the head.
I know how you distribute the heroin.
But how do you get it to Hellfjord?
Yes, of course I will explain that
NOT!
I've seen far too many James
Bond movies to let me Yes.
What you don't know
can
hurt you.
Fuck it, what
Riina, where's the phone booklet?
Right in front of me, let's see
Change the dust bag
Vacuum
Well, fuck that, let's forget
this nonsense. Jan. Thomas.
Take her down to the sea.
Chop off an arm, a leg and throw her in
Blame the sea serpent.
You know what?
Next week I'll win the Hellquiz.
Killevippen.
so just leave a message after the beep
Kobba, it's Salmander.
Call me back.
I've phoned you several times.
Get a new reply message, a brief one. Bye.
Help!
No!
Dad gave it to me in
my sixth grade.
Load up the sea serpent.
Heard he talked about a sea serpent,
I thought maybe I'd pay her a visit.
Mewling quim!
It's no sea serpent.
I think it's a submarine
Bosse has smuggled loads of drugs.
-Is he dead or not?
-Not quite.
Let's raidiate!
-Salamander?
-Yes?
It's Fiks.
What's up?
I must return to Oslo.
This is Salmanders voicemail.
Can't reply, leave a message after the beep.
Hi Salmander, this is Johanne.
AUNTIE COZY
Why didn't you tell me?
About you
-Don't know.
-Only being here for 3 months, that you
had been fired and stuff?
Because it was embarrassing.
I was going to
I thought
in my stupidity, that
If I did a fantastic job up here
as a policeman, then
they'd hire me again.
And
Now it's all over.
Now they'll surely send up a
new boyfriend.
A new new policeman
who can
take over.
Salmander, we're so close
to solving this whole case.
You have done a fantastic job here.
You have to inform your boss about
everything we've investigated and found out.
Tell him, and I'm sure
you'll get your job back.
No, I
I don't know.
Don't know.
I've really
never
ever
Go back to Oslo
and meet up with your boss,
report what you've seen here,
and ask him to send you back.
OK.
-OK?
-OK.
Good.
-Good.
-You
OK.
I seem to remember saying
that I never wanted to see you again.
-It's about Hellfjord.
-Loose the gum!
-So, Hellfjord?
-I must go back as policeman.
You're no longer a policeman.
-I think something is happening up there.
-Oh yeah?
Well, you've got
-One minute.
-Yes.
Starting now!
When I came up there, we saw
a man killed with a cellphone.
He
There's a sea serpent there.
Well, not a sea serpent,
but a submarine disguised as one.
But anyway, at the fish plant,
a Swede is working there,
they're boiling pigs bones,
and there's blood everywhere.
And Bosse Nova, he's one of those
heroin guys. He's done this before.
From the plant, a guy came and
attacked me at home with a knife,
-a knife from the fish plant.
-Right. Salamander?
-Yes?
-Not a word more!
There is someone in this room
who has read too much Donald Duck.
This is all true.
-And you can prove it?
-Yes, Kobba. Just call the bent old man.
You can see that
I see a desperate loser doing anything to
get a job by telling ridiculous tall tales.
-Cactus lice.
-What?
Boxes of cactus lice outside the fish plant.
Can you explain that?
-Cactus lice?
-And under the deceased's nails.
Cactus lice? That proves nothing.
It's very common.
They use cactus lice in
in candy, sweets, gelatin.
It's being used in lots of things,
it's very common.
Salmander, I'll confide something to you.
Know what I've found out?
The shopping mall has
a vacancy as restroom watch.
Throw, it in the lavatory.
At the mall.
Fish cake?
It's quiet here without Salmander.
Yes, it was, until you started yakking.
So
You don't miss him at all?
Miss him?
One misses the good conversation.
It's not as if
you have much to offer.
You can bake and fire a pistol and
fuck and cook and
wash and vacuum and clean.
Walk the dog,
and make a damn good bacalao.
Cut my nails and
Sew.
Otherwise, you don't even speak Norwegian.
No.
I can not speak Norwegian.
Have some.
What did you put in?
Are they made from vomit?
Yes, come on, people!
Hurry up, hurry up!
Sure, it's under control.
Yes, he's gone.
Next delivery ..ill be as planned,
it'll be a huge one.
No, they're working really hard down there,
doing their best.
Fuck.
THE BIG BLUE
I'll have cod with potatoes
and a glass of ice water.
Oh my god.
Of course.
Do you know that in Iran
they cut thieves' fingers off?
And what do they do
with drug felons?
I don't know, actually.
But I wanted to say something cool, cause
"Uncle Buck, you know what?" wasn't scary.
Take her along.
HEROIN IN FISH EYES
Something wrong with the fish?
You forgot to pay.
I didn't eat anything.
That's the wrong way.
Hey!
-What the hell are you doing?
-Checking the fish.
-In English, motherfucker.
-I'm a fish inspector, inspecting the fish.
I'm looking at the sex of your fish,
male and female, and I'm satisfied.
Well, OK, I'm going to go now.
Thank you.
You're not going until
I find out what you're doing.
Thank you for the hug.
OK.
Look! Ben Johnson!
Shouldn't be doing that alone.
Shit!
-You're gonna die!
-Yes, you are!
-What is that?
-I won't say anything.
In English, motherfucker!
What is this?
This is no fucking fish eye.
Gelatin.
This option is not available now.
Please try again later.
You're quite
nosy, little lady.
Found out some things
about you, Bosse Nova.
I see.
But this time
you're going to die
because you are a nosy parker.
You've reached Johanne's voicemail.
Hi, call when you can,
I've phoned you lots of times.
I've found out about Bosse
and what he's up to.
I'm coming up north as soon as I can.
Call me back. Bye.
You know hat?
This community ..as a quiet,
peaceful, harmonious place
until you and your 'friend" poked your noses
into our little, delicious fruit salad.
Hopefully it will return to that
when you disappear.
Hi, this s Kobba.
Sorry, I cant answer the phone
right now, so just
Shut up!Silence!Be quiet!
Riina! Get that mongrel out
before I shoot her in the head.
I know how you distribute the heroin.
But how do you get it to Hellfjord?
Yes, of course I will explain that
NOT!
I've seen far too many James
Bond movies to let me Yes.
What you don't know
can
hurt you.
Fuck it, what
Riina, where's the phone booklet?
Right in front of me, let's see
Change the dust bag
Vacuum
Well, fuck that, let's forget
this nonsense. Jan. Thomas.
Take her down to the sea.
Chop off an arm, a leg and throw her in
Blame the sea serpent.
You know what?
Next week I'll win the Hellquiz.
Killevippen.
so just leave a message after the beep
Kobba, it's Salmander.
Call me back.
I've phoned you several times.
Get a new reply message, a brief one. Bye.
Help!
No!