Helluva Boss (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

Loo Loo Land

Mommy, Daddy!
Mmmm, 'Via's calling us Stella.
You get up.
'Via? What troubles you my owlette?
Daddy. Daddy!
I had a dream.
A really, bad dream!
A nightmare.
I was looking all over the palace-
I couldn't find you anywhere!
You weren't there!
There there, 'Via. It's okay. You're okay.
When you're scared And
you don't know where I am.
You must remember-
No matter what happens to
me, I will never be far away-
From my special little starfire.
It always seems more quiet ♪
In the dark ♪
It always feels so stark ♪
How silence grows under the moon ♪
Constellations gone so soon ♪
I used to think that I was bold ♪
I used to think love would be fun ♪
Now all my stories have been told ♪
Except for one ♪
As the stars start to align ♪
I hope you take it as a sign ♪
That you'll be okay ♪
Everything will be okay ♪
And if the seven rings collapse ♪
Although the day could be my last ♪
You will be okay ♪
When I'm gone you'll be okay ♪
And when creation goes to die ♪
You can find me in the sky ♪
Upon the last day ♪
And you will be okay ♪
I can't believe you slept with an imp!
In our fucking bed!
It wasn't expected! I didn't
have time to go to a motel.
A motel? Like a fucking plebian?
My world is burning down around me ♪
You want to fuck this one too?
No! Of course not!
You are a goddamn embarrasment!
I'm not spending another moment
looking at your pathetic, imp sucking face!
Oh fucks sake! All your useless shitty p—
Good morning, Octavia!
Did you sleep well, my owlette?
Is that a serious question?
What's that your listening to?
This song is called "My World
is Burning Down Around Me."
It's by "Fuck You Dad".
It's a band.
Oh. How charming.
So are you two done screaming for the day?
You know what I havent
done in a long, looong time?
I haven't taken you to your
favorite place in all of Hell!
Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land!
I'm not five anymore.
You always were so happy
when I took you to Loo Loo Land
What do you say we go there again-
Have a day, just the two of us.
I'd rather kill myself.
There we go. Anything
but staying in this house.
Now. I'll arrange our security.
Security for a theme park?
We're rich, and we're hot.
People want our money, and our bodies.
Our money maybe
Speak for yourself princess.
Now, I'm calling the only
man who can fuck me!
Who can protect me, us!
Being part of the Goeshia
family is rather valuable-
You know.
Oh, Blitz you're such a good boss!
Yeah, I really want you sir!
Me too!
Lets three way!
Well hello my big dicked Blitzie.
Language! Everyone!
I have a special request.
Ah, gah-look I just had a chemical peel
So you'll have to find someone
else's face to plant that feathered ass.
It's for my daughter
Ah, well make sure she washes it.
Oh! No, no no no.
I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land-
And I was hoping you brave
little imps will accompany us!
We're assasins, not bodyguards. Kay?
Don't invite us to shit
unless someone's gonna die.
I'll pay you
Pay me what?
M&M Get in here! We're
going to Loo-Loo Land!
Loo Loo Land?
Loo Loo Land!
Loo Loo Land!
Shut the fuck up!
Now remember, this is work. And work only.
Me and my crew are not here to
satisfy your perverted bird needs, Alright?
Hey, dad do we have to-
Okay, yeah yeah hold
on there little sweetie-
If you try fucking my little
ass in that park, I swear-
You. Are so cute, when you are serious.
I'm literally gonna be sick.
Oh crumbs, I knew today
would be a lot. Whaddya need?
Antacids? Ibuprofen? Morphine?
That was figurative, old man.
Oh right, heheh.
That she said it was literal-
Wow I haven't been to
this place since I was a tot!
It hasn't changed a bit!
Oh! Look! It's big woobly!
That is deeply upsetting.
Oh come on it's fun-
You've never been here?
No. Theme parks always disturbed me.
Especially the mascots.
Well hey there!
I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land!
If yall get hurt here just try and sue us!
(Gasp!) Look, dear! It's Loo Loo!
I have a question.
Well ask away little girlie.
Ahya, Ahya, Ahya, Ahya.
Is it true this park is just a
really shameless spin-off of-
Of Lucifer's far more
popular "Lu Lu World"?
This place reeks of
insecure corporate shame.
Why don't we go check out the rides?
That chicks creepy huh?
Yeah, wait 'til her dad
tries to diddle your holes.
What's that mean-
Don't talk to me. I know
you're a pervert under there.
You really like this place huh-
I love this place!
My parent's would bring me and my
siblin's here when they could swing it-
Yeah The prices do seem rather criminal.
I mean, that much for a novelty
cup that you use one time?
'Cause it's Loo Loo Land!
Listen to your ho Moxx.
How about I take first watch
while you two have a little fun?
Oh! We gotta do my favorite ride!
Oh yeah? W-which one?
Oh crumbs.
You know, it's quite thrilling
to see you on the job Blitzie.
Save it, bitch. I'm working.
You both need to get a room.
Hey I am not a day hooker.
What? I just said I'm not one, prude.
Oh look, 'Via!
You used to cry such
tears of joy at this show!
Oh no.
(Both) I hate that fuckin' clown.
Oh Blitzie, I need my bodyguard please!
Hey, hey, hey, implings!
It's me! The robotic Fizzaroli!
Shipped from Higozzie's factory
To bring you a wonderful show celebrating
Loo Loo Land (spelled with "o's")
To avoid lawsuits. Hit it!
Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land ♪
Everybody sing along
with the Loo Loo band ♪
Every boy, every girl ♪
Every woman, every man ♪
Loves Loo Loo Land! (Ba dum ba dum) ♪
Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land ♪
Everything is beautiful in Loo Loo Land ♪
Ugly children holding hands ♪
In Loo Loo Land! ♪
Everybody's friendly ♪
And nobody is mean ♪
No copyright infringements ever seen! ♪
I have a dream (He has a dream) ♪
I'm here to tell (He's here to tell) ♪
About a magical, fantastic place ♪
Called Loo Loo Land! (Ba dum ba dum) ♪
Hello! Hello.
Step right up and win a thing.
(Gasps) Oh look Moxxie! A thing!
Oh. You like that thing?
Yeeeeeeeees. I don't really know what
that thing is But I want that thang!
Ah, finally some Thing. I can handle.
Okay, one game. Puh-lease.
Ow, strike one little man!
But I hit it?
Mmm, I don't know what to
tell you buddy. The target see-
It didn't go down.
So yeah. No go, bro.
- the heaven's wrong with this thing?
Oh man, a real shame I
tell ya. Waah, waaaaah.
Gotta sing along with the Loo Loo Band ♪
Every boy, every girl. ♪
Every woman, every man! ♪
Loves Loo Loo Land! ♪
Wahahahaha ha- ha ha
Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho, how delightful!
Oh, my what good aim you have Blitzie.
Ugh, I can't do this anymore!
Wait, eh. Octavia!
Mm hahahaha ha oh.
Is that Blitzo my sensors spot up there?
I guess the kiddies are still
runnin' away from you huh?
The "o" is silent now.
Awwwwww, just like your audience always
was when you told your lazy jokes here.
Bitch I make more money killing people-
Than you do being a cheap ass
robo-ripoff of an overrated sellout jester!
Oh, someone's salty! Real
or not though, people love me!
Does anybody love you-
No. But I'm really good
with guns now. Dance bitch!
Torches! I say, I say. Get
your inconvenient torches here!
Ow! I say. Ow!
Wow. Man you're really
starting to make this sad.
Ya know. If ya suck, ya suck!
Guess you wont win
your hottie here a prize
Let me try!
Oh! Look at that. Lucky shot, baby.
Are you kidding me?
You, you, you charlatan.
Hey uh, get lost pipsqueak.
I'm talkin' to the lady.
Oh hey guys! You should probably
go uh make sure Stolas is okay-
I got some unfinished
business to take care of.
Oh what a mouth.
Goddamnit Nathan, you ruined another
bloody photo! Why were you even born?
Just leave me alone.
Um, I think I'm supposed
to be bodyguarded right now.
Ugh, that's better. Where is Blitzie?
He's my night in shining
armor not you littler ones.
He's uhh
Busy- being a fool
What kind of fool?
The "Everything is now on fire" kind.
I take it you are-
Not having fun.
I didn't even want to come here.
I'm sorry sweetie, I-
I thought you loved it here.
When I was a kid and my
parents didn't hate each other-
When my dad didn't flirt with some
weird red dickhead the entire time.
I'm sorry, 'Via. I'm sorry for
Everything happening right
now. I know it's A lot. I
I should've listened.
I just wanna go home.
But home doesn't even
feel like home anymore.
You ruined it.
You need to understand.
Your mother and I
I just-
I felt-
She's always been-
I haven't been, ha-
We weren't in
I'm sorry, I-I-I don't have the words.
Are you gonna run off with him-
And leave me behind?
Go away where-
I can't find you?
No, no never.
I'd never do that.
I think it's time to leave
this place. You were right.
You are too old for it anyway.
So. What would you like to do now?
Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult?
They sell weird taxidermy there.
Hmmm Okay?
Thanks, dad.
You're okay sometimes.
Thank you 'Via.
Thank you.
Way to ruin another good thing, sir.
Worth it!
That slutty toy clown had it comin.
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