Helluva Boss (2019) s01e07 Episode Script


Whoo! That was a fuck-ton of lumberjacks.
Oh! I'm still so jazzed up! Hahahaha!
Well you better stay jazzed. Acha
Babe, because guess where I'm taking you tonight!
Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie.
Besides, drinks are on me tonight.
Let's hit up the new dive down the street.
Actually, sir, it's our one-year marriage anniversary.
So I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!
Ozzie's? No way!
That place is always booked!
Yeah, well, I've been planning it for quite a while.
Ugh Can you two not?
I'm sorry, sir. Maybe another time.
Oh, it's fine! I can come with the two of you.
Help you celebrate your boring-as-fuck monogamy.
Uh, no.
The reservation is for us.
Just us.
Without you there.
Explicitly without you there.
I'll wear something nice.
It's a big deal, after all.
See you love-bugs later!
Relax, sweetie. Don't let him get to you today.
Let's just go home and clean this blood off.
Elevator 666, departing for Lust. In five minutes
Yeah, it's Loona.
Whoever you are, go for it.
Hey Loony, just wanna let you know
I'm not gonna be home until real late.
I got something important tonight.
Whoa there, buddy.
You got a reservation?
Oh yeah, I'm with those two.
This club is for couples only.
- It's what?
No date, no reservation, no entry.
You know, you have really nice eyes
You fucking prude!
Ay, why won't you love me, Alejandro?
That's a mood, Gabriella.
Hello? Hello, Blitzy!
Stolas! Hey, you uh shit you busy tonight?
Um why do you ask?
I was wondering if you want
to come with me to a club tonight.
Are you
asking me on a date, Blitzy?
Yes, I suppose that is what's happening.
How fast can you get down to Lust?
I can be ready in twenty!
Alright, fantastic. See you soon.
I'll see you, Blitzy.
Come on, come on, come on!
Oh, Blitzy!
I'm here.
That's a bit overkill, don't you think?
W-Well, I just wanted to
look a little nicer for you.
This is our first real date, after all.
Oh yeah, I guess this is, huh?
You again? Beat it, shithead!
Ahem. Do we have a problem?
Oh, uh, shit!
My apologies, your highness!
Please, go right in.
(gasps) Oh my.
Oh, no. No but yes!
Oh, Blitz. How romantic is this?
What made you choose such a place to bring me?
Oh, it just sounded like- I just thought
have a blast here, you know?
Oh, Blitz, what are you looking at?
I'm looking at nothing. How about that?
Can I get you two off?
I mean start you two off with some drinks?
Yes um perhaps some wine to share.
Do you prefer red wine or white, Blitz?
Or perhaps some champaign?
Yeah, whatever.
(laughs forcefully) Perhaps all three.
Why not?
So, Blitz, how was your day?
Huh? Oh, uh, good, I guess.
We killed a bunch of beardos.
That sounds fun.
How did you kill them?
"How?" I mean there was the lot of them
so, I don't- bullets?
Right, right.
So what made you decide
to ask me out after all this time?
Ladies and gentlemen!
I see some sexy faces around here tonight!
Welcome, welcome to Ozzie's!
Lust Ring's number 1 place for
all kinds of sick, twisted fantasies.
Put on display for all you sleaze and sleazettes!
The gem joint of Asmodeus himself!
Come on, give him some love!
Did he just say Asmodeus?
- Oh, no fucking way.
Not him!
I am the one-and-only Fizzarolli.
Some of you might recognize this dashing clown face
from my numerous toy-botic
replicas across the rings of Hell.
Gloriously designed by the big man himself,
and, uh, ribbed for your pleasure tonight.
We have a great lineup for you tonight.
Verosika Mayday,
Wet Dream,
and The Squirterz!
But as everyone's waming up, I got a funny one for y'all.
Did any of you hear about the
batshittery that happened at Loo Loo Land?
Hahaha. Oh, yeah. Wow.
I'll tell you what. I'd sure love to
shake hand the of crazy son of a bitch
who decided to burn down that off-brand shithole.
And then slap a fat subpoena in it
because I'm very much looking to sue.
That robo-me made us more money entertaining those kids
than the ones we sell to get you freaks off,
if you know what I mean. (laughing)
Oh! I know what you mean! I have four of them!
Okay keep that guy far away from me.
So, without wasting any more time,
our little opening act is a fresh one.
Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring,
give it up for Moxxie
with no creative stage name whatsoever.
Hello everyone.
Oh, ahem Hi.
Thank you for letting me be here. It's an honor to play.
H-hurry up bullet, and, sing, boy! I say I say!
This song is for my beautiful wife;
a surprise for our first anniversary.
I love you, Millie.
I love you
more than the brimstone loves the fire.
More than the Beelze loves her bub.
More than a maggot loves gangrenous stubs!
You make my spirit sing
You make me glad I live in Hell
Our love is a story sweet to tell
Yeah, you cast a special satanic spell over my heart
Love is a journey we decided to start
Yeah, our hope will never ever be apart
I love you I love you I love you
I love you I love you I love you
I love you
I love you I love you I love you
- I love you I love you I love you
I love you I love you I love you
You singing love songs in my lustful lounge?
Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds!
What'd you except from a proprietor like us?
Your demon host, Asmodeus,
The embodiment of lust
Give me a thrust
Yeah, show me some lust
From the groin to the bust
In desire we trust
In the house of Asmodeus
- Trumpet!
Little imp, you came here
to sing your serenade
Perform your feelings on a velvetous stage
Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts
- Only little bitches strum
the strings of their hearts!
You wanna hang around this lustful town?
Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around
Here we sing about wants and desires
- Depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fire
So gimmie a thrust
Show me some lust
From the groin to the bust
Little imp, you just must
In the house of Asmodeus
Come on, sing us a song
Make sure the subject is "getting it on"
Make it graphic and tactfully long
- Be sure to rhyme thong and schlong!
Go ahead, the mic's on.
I want to
- Yeah, what do you want?
Butt stuff? Piss play? Bondage?
Make gentle love to you.
Ugh, what a limp-dick imp.
You're really killing the vibe
Get a load of this dweeb
and his unsatisfied bride!
Hey now, I watched those two pork many times.
- What? Blitz?
And honestly, they make
missionary look relatively exciting.
That Blizto? So you're showing your face?
Hey, everybody! This guy's a total disgrace
Some nerve you've got to comment on a relationship
Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!
- Oh, Blitzo?
I used to date.
- Oh, Verosika, you're here.
I'd stroke him and I'd fellate him
Yeah, but when it was my turn
He did no reciprocatin'
A selfish imp in the sheets
And just as bad in the streets!
A wreckless heart-breaking freak
Who's that at your table?
Is your date a demon Prince?
Stolas, is that you?
Are you sleeping with an imp?
Whoo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall
You used to have a smoking
wife, a kid, you had it all
I hope you didn't give it up
so you and him could get it up
You sold your life for a thrust!
Now that's the spirit of lust!
Grab your groin or a bust
You better get your head mussed
Pretend you don't see that crust
Hump 'till your junk turns to dust
In the house of Asmode-
- I think you were trying to sing something for me, Mox
Yeah, I was.
I love us
I love us just the way we are
Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't
I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes
I'll never take you for granted
I'll always give you my best
And if you can offer the same
thing, fate will handle the rest
'Cuz I love you
'Cuz I love you
You know what? This was a mistake.
Alright? Let's just- let's just leave.
Oh. Right. Of course.
Aww, ain't that just such a happy display?
It sickens me
Get the fuck out.
Thank you for inviting me out tonight.
Despite everything that's happened,
I enjoyed spending time with you.
You know, I have some more wine in the house.
Octavia's with her mother this weekend, so we could
I'm not fucking you tonight, okay?
I'm really just I'm really not in the mood, Stolas.
We could talk
or watch a movie, or maybe cuddle?
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but
you wanting me to fuck you, okay?
You make that really clear all the time.
But I just can't do it tonight, 'kay?
I'm sorry.
Goodnight, Blitz.
- Night.
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