Helluva Boss (2019) s01e06 Episode Script

Right there!
This was the first sighting.
They are definitely from hell.
They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world.
They seem to be killing specifically targeted people.
But why?
They always attack at random. All over the country.
There is no way to predict where they will show up next.
Ah, well, that's convenient.
Shh, remember, we can't be seen.
Pardon my words, sir, but you're currently being the loudest.
I said shush your dick-sucking lips, Moxxie!
Loona! Close it!
Wait, no!
Moxxie!
I smell colors.
Back off, you tuxedo-wearing fucks!
Haha! I'd like to see the suits at corporate calling us losers now.
That was pretty bad-ass.
- Super bad-ass.
Shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
You uh, you okay there?
What are you doin' sittin' there? The boys are in trouble!
Open it again!
Blitz was total of zero euphemisms, innuendos or swears.
That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until
Open the fucking portal now!
They aren't here!
It smells like they went this way.
Come on, let's find the dumb-ass twins.
Finally awake, huh, little fella?
Your partner has been for a while now.
Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright?
I took a fuckton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of.
Also I've been strapped nipple-first to a car battery, so - ah, oh, okay.
Tell us demon scum, who do you work for - Satan?
- How did you get to our world from the afterlife?
Why are yous killing humans?
- When did you show up here?
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there bitch.
First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock.
And I'm still feeling fucking woozy, so I'm gonna request you batch us some coffee before we get into this.
I mean everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with a scene like this, am I right?
I want something iced, bitch. Moxx?
I'll have a neapolitan cappuchino - more cappu than chino - make sure it's got no
more than four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise.
And make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup; they always put Foxxie or Roxxie - I hate that.
If you can't handle that, I'll have a venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk with two blonde shots, avocado -and- ristretto!
I'd also love three vanilla puffs at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then add
Enough! We aren't getting yous coffee!
- Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Moxx! Congrats.
If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers outta you nasty hellbeasts!
When you say torture, do you mean physical or psychological?
Physical seems counterproductive we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain,
and you would have no way to knowing what was true.
Or, we might like it too much, and then you've got a whole new thing to deal with.
What do you mean by that?
Ah, you're stupid, huh? I could work with stupid.
Daddy likey dummy.
Good one, sir! Daddy likey!
- You better stop laughing at us!
Yeah! You are the ones at our mercy!
It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry.
I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied her for what - hours?
And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are.
What are you?
- I'm a Virgo.
Hah!
- Ooh, smart guy, huh?
One more quip outta you and we'll shut you up!
- Ooh, gettin' kinky!
Aah! We aren't playing any vile demon kinks.
- I mean, that's what it sounded like back there, you sickos.
Please don't give them ideas, sir!
- Why not? I know the shit you're into.
Aah! We are NOT getting kinky with yous!
- Calm down one! Don't let these monsters get to you!
Hey! Aren't we going to get our phone call, bitch?
- Well that entirely depends: who are you gonna call, hmm?
Your fat mom, thanking her for a bad time!
Nice try, demon! His fat mom is DEAD!
Here's where they ended up?
- I think so. Fuck, this looks intense, how are we going to get in?
Lift me up to that vent.
Throw me!
Damn! You're pretty agile for an old lady.
- I'm like five years older than you.
Stop insulting my mother! She's dead!
- Hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking.
Don't worry Moxx, if we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out.
Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works.
Hmmm, so the demons want to play games, huh?
Well we could play games.
Heh! Yeah
I'm just worried about Millie. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure.
- Oh, she'll be fine Moxxie. It would take a roided up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.
We've never dealt with the human government before. She's in danger!
Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?
It's always oh how's Millie, I can't tonight I'm hanging with Millie, I'm so worried about Millie.
And she's always five fucking feet away from you, it's pathetic!
That was oddly personal.
- You're right. I don't know why I just let my guts spill like that.
Sir! They're filling this room with something!
- Fuck! What the hell is this?
I think it's some kind of airborne truth-telling serum.
- Oh, you just guessed that's what it is?
Well, eh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.
- Okay. Eh, does Millie ever peg you?
Sometimes. Wait! Ew! Fuck! Why that?
- Heh, I knew it.
Well your suit is tacky! Fuck, I'm sorry!
- How fucking dare you! You have shitty taste in music! I'm sorry.
Shit taste? You said you liked that musical I recommended to you.
I lied! I left halfway through.
- You you said you loved it!
It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly horny cats!
Oh god Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you!
Hah! This is gonna be a good night.
Damn it Moxxie, this is all your fault!
- How is this my fault?
Blitz? I can't see you.
God, this smells awful. What's that music?
Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear th
It is no prank, bitch!
- Hey! Why do you sound like that?
Because you, my precious little bitch-boy
- Stop it sir!
- are tripping balls!
No! What? How could this be?
I've never tried acid, shrooms or DMT.
It's a bad trip! Oy, gevalt!
Of course Blitz, this would be your fault!
My lungs are full of honesty. Would you promise me that you won't judge?
- Yes bitch.
Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep so first of all Fuck you!
- What?
This is just typical, well two can play at this game of dismay.
'cause if you're here causing frustration, I'm torturing you in your hallucination!
I've simply followed your orders.
It isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a suntanning bed left out on the cornering porch of a fresh apil shower.
Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?
I am simply speaking Satan's plain English. Perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime.
And then maybe you could understand half of the frivolous things I drone on and on about [fades out]
Shut up!
Why do you hurt me so?
- I know. I push my friends away.
- Why must you push your friends away.
Why does it seem like a recurring thing that you alienate with your toxic routine.
- I don't know, eventually everyone goes.
- 'cause you're thoughtless and cruel and will end up alone!
My dear boss, you don't know what you're doing half of the time.
And you depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy.
I don't need you! I could do this shit on my own SO easily!
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo!
You tried the solo work, it didn't work out so well! Whahaha!
But you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you for being a selfish shit, sick fuck.
Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?
I think your subconsious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but also crave it as well.
It's rather unfortunate sir, considering it's awful how you treat those who stand by you, such as myself.
Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?
- Stop fucking talking, all of you!
You're going to die alone, Blitzo!
You're going to die alone, Blitzo!
You're going to die alone, Blitzo!
Why Moxxie, why - have you held your true feelings inside.
- I am scared of rejection!
Why, Moxxie, why - do you have Millie put it in your butt?
- It gives me an erection. Hey!
No need to hide, we accept your true feelings so promise me to be true.
- That I can do, to be true.
The world is your anus so peg it with honesty.
- Ehh
I've been a jackass it's true.
- You've been a jackass, it's true.
But soon as we're back as ourselves, I will be a better friend than I was before.
- I will be a better friend than I was before.
Be better at speaking my mind and
- together, we can begin to become fine!
Try one.
Do you remember what you said to me, after my first day with the company?
- Not really.
I remember. You told me I did a good job, and that you were proud to work with me.
I feel like you wanted to say something more judgemental, but you said that because I needed it. And it helped.
Look, I'm hard on you because I know what you're capable of, Moxx.
You care too much about what everyone thinks -
Except for, me, because, you know, my opinion is correct, but, just
keep doing a good job, okay?
You shoot and kill good, you escape things easy, you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to
There's my Millie!
- Impressive work Mills! How'd you get here all by yourself?
Loony!
- Get your asses our here before more fuckers show up!
Okay, I've had one too many emotions for today.
Guys, let's fuck these fuckers up!
Moxx! Cover me!
- Yes sir!
Die, motherfuckers! what?
- I'm just so damn proud of you, Loony! Bye sweetie!
Look out!
Hey Mills!
- Hey Blitz! Just one sec.
Do you need a gun or anything?
- Nah, I'm good!
How about some water?
- Sure!
Thanks Blitz!
- No problemy Millie-billy!
Now who wants some quality time with Daddy?
Fore!
Why, god, why are we only using weapons from Japan's Edo period?
Hey! The Edo period was bad-ass and you know it!
- Damn correct.
- Look out!
Bitches!
- Hey Moxx! Oh wow, really going for the dick there ain'cha?
Here I got it for ya. Now hold this.
Oh yeah gettin' hard holding this motherfucker! Hahahahaha!
Oh crumbs. Is everyone okay?
- Whooo! How's THAT for demon scum?
Oh shit. Come on fam, let's blow this cocksicle joint.
Hey!
Quick! The book!
- Shit! I can't I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see dick!
Well shit, looks like we milked this weapon dick dry and now we're all out of bad-assery.
Hah! You demons aren't going anywhere now! Ah!
Who dare threathen my impish little plaything?
- Who said that?
Agent Two!
What's the matter, demonhunter?
Never seen a real demon before?
Stola-? What hold on, how did you know that we needed help?
- I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?
Ugh, I'm fine Stolas.
- Good. How the FUCK did you get caught by humans?
Are you little creatures not being careful up here?
You know if YOU get in trouble, I get in trouble.
WE don't want that!
They caught us off-guard, your highness.
- Yeah, you can unclench your birdpuss Stolas, not gonna happen again, okay?
Luckily for you, most don't believe the word of the demon-obessed lunatics.
They are seen as cooks.
giggles ♪
Cooks! Such a silly word!
Now! Let us all return!
- Yes please, I'd like to get back to the correct hell-hole as soon as possible.
Am I going to get any thank-you for the rescue Blitzy?
- Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?
Very much so.
- Alright. But you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps.
Ooh, please do.
So what now?
- What now?
We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!
Nobody at corporate is ignoring this! Hehehehehe!