High Fidelity (2020) s01e04 Episode Script

Good Luck and Goodbye

One down, four to go.
If you need answers, you need to go to the source.
And I need to know: why am I doomed to be left? Why am I doomed to be rejected? So, I'm gonna ask them.
All of them.
Next ex on the big ex list is Kat Mon [FOLKSY GUITAR PLAYING IN CAFE.]
What are you doing in there? What? I'll come in.
I'll come in.
Excuse me.
What's up, dude? Nothing's up.
I'm just just getting a coffee beverage.
I'm sorry, have have you been body-snatched? I just thought I would try it out.
But we hate this place.
Yeah, I don't know.
They have oat milk.
This is Mumford & Sons? Yeah.
It's probably.
So, um, check it out.
I talked to Kevin Bannister's mom last night Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Kevin-who's-mom? Bannister.
- My first boyfriend? - Oh Okay.
Number One on my "Top Five All-Time Heartbreak" list? Left me for Hannah Shepherd? I've told you this.
You Top Five-d your All-Time Heartbreaks? Yeah.
Should we maybe wait till after I have coffee to go wherever this is going? Yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure.
Do your thing.
Do your thing.
I've already had three.
He married her.
Hannah Shephard is now Hannah Bannister.
Isn't that incredible? - It's incredible.
- I mean, this whole time I thought he rejected me.
But no.
It was fate.
- Well, there you have it.
- I feel fucking liberated, man.
- That's great.
- Which is why I'm reaching out to everyone else on the list.
- Everyone else? - Yeah.
There are more lessons to be learned here, dude.
I mean, like "that it was just fate and none of it was your fault"? Can you take this seriously, please? I, I'm doing my best.
Okay, so my plan was to go chronologically, but since you're here, Simon, I'm hoping you can help me understand: why I'm doomed to be left? Why I'm doomed to be rejected? You're asking me? Hold on.
Do you think I rejected you? Rob, have you forgotten that I'm homosexual? Yeah, but did you know that when we got together, though? Wait a minute, I'm one of your Top Five Heartbreaks? That's why you always closed your eyes when we had sex? What can I get for you two? I'll have the, uh, currant-forward Ethiopian, please.
With a splash of oat milk.
I'm good.
It's $8.
Besides the fact that I have a vagina, are there other things about me, any traits you think that could have factored into us not staying together? - Rob.
- Yeah.
I still make you mix tapes, all right.
I say I like your outfit even when I don't, at all.
I even let you pop pimples on my back, whenever you want.
- I'm sorry, what's your point? - My point is, Rob, this is how we acted and I treated you when we were in a relationship, and this is what I continue to do now.
We're still together.
Okay? I never left.
You get it? Yes.
I get it.
Thank you.
- It's great.
- Hey.
- Yeah.
- Take me off your goddamn list.
- Please.
- Done.
Got a currant-forward Ethiopian.
Thank you.
ROB: That's fucking great! All right.
Two down, three to go.
So you're really gonna talk to all of them? - Yeah.
- Every single one of them.
Even Yes.
Every single one.
Okay, dude? I have to say it: I think this is crazy.
Uh no.
50 for a coffee is crazy.
This is fuckin' genius.
- - I've been trying so hard To make ya see The love in me, baby [HUMMING.]
ROB: Open the window.
SIMON: What is she You're here early.
Yeah, well, you know, somebody got to pick up the slack around here, you feel me? Oh, and, uh, we got that order in, Bee Tee Dubs.
I handled it.
- You handled the order.
Oh, my God.
CHERISE: I am on my shit today.
Is she taking out the trash? ROB: [LAUGHING.]
She's taking out the trash.
Where, uh - It's the one on the - You're taking out the trash? - One on the right.
- Yeah.
ROB: Just go out of that door and go to the right CHERISE: Your right or my right? Uh, both of our rights.
It's the side where it's We're on the same right.
The big black square one? - ROB: Yes.
- SIMON: That one.
- Oh! - What's going on? Uh, pssh it must be full moon.
Okay, now, Kat Monroe.
I'm not totally sure I'm ready for this, but [EXHALES FORCEFULLY, THEN CLEARS THROAT.]
They say I'm different 'cause I'm a piece of sugar cane [LINE DISCONNECTS.]
OPERATOR: The number you dialed is not in service.
Changed her number.
That's okay.
Important people do that.
I should resign myself to the idea that Kat might be hard to track down.
She's a myth, she's a legend, she's on goddamn Instagram! Every mornin' I'd have to slop the hogs And they'd be gettin' off humpin' to John Lee Hooker They say I'm different Hey.
You guys have a bathroom? Nah.
Customers only.
You can't make an exception? Nah, I can't.
'Cause, you know, if I let, if I let you go, I gotta let everybody else go to the bathroom.
And I can't do that.
So But I'm the only one here But, dude, can you just go to the coffee shop, please.
They got one there.
I can see the bathroom right there.
CHERISE: Motherfucker, just walk straight, go up the steps, make a left, walk two blocks, turn left, and you found it.
Okay, bye-bye.
Don't forget to vote.
- ROB: Hey, Cherise.
Yeah, Rob? What does it mean when someone has a blue check mark next to their name? What are you talking about, a blue check That.
What is that? Oh, damn, you stalking Kat Monroe? - What's wrong with you? - I'm not stalking her.
- Wait, how do you know Kat? - Uh, 'cause I own my own cellular device.
Oh, shit.
Is she in your Top Five All-Time Boo-Hoo list? - Simon! - She's very intuitive.
No, listen.
For real, for real, no judgment.
I'm here for you.
You know what I mean? If you want to take a vision quest and go into your past and sort some shit out, that's dope.
Matter of fact, you want some DMT? What does it mean, Cherise? Now, listen to me, because I know a guy Cherise, what does the fucking check mark mean? It means she's verified, dude.
She is internet royalty.
She's been anointed a public figure by the Instagods.
I heard she helped The Carters pick out their art collection.
You sure you really dated her? - Yeah.
- And you slid into her DMs? I guess.
Oooh! She left it on seen.
You can see she saw it? [SNICKERS.]
She is an evil petty bitch, and I fuckin' love her! [CHERISE LAUGHING.]
WOMAN: All right, you brilliant idiots.
I am thrilled to bring out the last comic of the night.
Give it up for Justin Kitt.
ROB: Justin, on the other hand, was very easy to get a hold of.
He still has the same Microsoft Paint website.
And he still does Thursday nights at the same shitty West Village comedy club.
All right.
Some of you gave me the look ROB: If this all sounds terribly unsexy, I guess it's because it is.
Or he is.
Or was.
I think.
There's actually a lot about this relationship I don't really remember.
- Huh.
- See, I acknowledge my male privilege, so you know I'm woke.
And I acknowledge my aforementioned acknowledgement, so you know I'm self-aware.
I got this.
Hey, you.
Dating apps.
Who's swiping? Anybody? Rob Brooks.
- I thought that was you.
- In the flesh.
Still drinking whiskey neat like a tough guy? Still drinking vodka soda like a little bitch? You got that? [ROB CLEARS THROAT.]
So what brings you in? Um all right.
- Bear with me here, okay? - Okay.
- I'm kinda doing this - [CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
- Oh, shit, hang on one sec.
- Oh, yeah.
No, I told you I'm doing a late set tonight.
Oh, shit.
I'm really sorry.
Put him on the phone.
Hey, Spider-Man.
Listen, Daddy's gonna be home a little bit late tonight, okay? Spider-Man? Hel Hey.
No, he didn't say anything.
Yes, Sheila.
I did the Spider Hello? [SIGHS HEAVILY.]
You have a kid? I got a kid and a baby mama.
And I don't think either of them like me too much.
- I'm sorry.
- It's all right.
It's just a bit of a rough patch.
She thinks I drink too much.
- Do you? - Of course.
Sheila doesn't respect me, she certainly doesn't love me, I got no idea how to talk to the kid.
- I mean, I go home - I don't think I have the heart to launch into the whole "why did you reject me" thing.
This dude is sad.
Anyway, it's really good to see you, Rob.
Yeah, you too.
I know I was a real jerk and a mess when we were together.
- Oh - No, but listen, honestly, afterwards, I just, pff, I got a whole lot worse.
I mean, I'm not trying to make it sound like things haven't been okay since you broke up with me.
It's not like that, but they haven't been great - Oh, my God, he's right.
- JUSTIN: You know how it goes I broke up with him.
I rejected him! God, this is great! Why didn't I do this years ago? Sorry to hear that, man.
Told you in the jam that we can get down Now let's knock the boots like the group H-Town You got BBD all on your bedroom wall But I'm above the rim and this is how I ball A gritty little something on the New York street This is how I represent over this here beat Talking 'bout you Yo, I took you out But sex was on my mind for the whole damn route You know, I'm not totally sure that the placement is the problem.
And I'm not totally sure skinny jeans is your look, but you don't see me all up in your goddamn ass, do you? I'm just trying to help.
All right, go ahead, what is it? I just think that there's, that there's not much to latch onto.
The fuck are you talkin' about? Everybody thinks that they're a bad-ass.
Everyone thinks they're unapologetic and a visionary.
Everybody thinks that.
Yeah, but I actually am though.
I get that.
But just, just, just be like, just a little bit more specific, that's all.
- CHERISE: A little bit? - SIMON: That's it! Just, like, show people where you're coming from, who you are.
- I am a badass.
- Understandable.
You gotta show 'em where you're coming from.
Right? Like, badass is like a big thing, but you need someone to see something like, I'm into "Ooh!" and they're like, "Oh, that.
I wanna be a part of that.
That's it.
Then you can put this shit wherever.
And then people will come.
People will come? They will.
If you build it.
They will come? Ha, ha, ha! Yes.
I'm sorry, can I, can I move these out of the way for you? Oh, yeah, please.
Thank you.
Get that out the way.
Drrr-oo! Du-du! [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
- Championship.
- WOMAN: Hi, is this Rob? - Speaking.
- Hi, it's Kat.
Um hey hey! Ho how are you? Sorry I didn't call sooner.
I was at this awful silent retreat in Bali, no internet service, the most temperamental monks.
Just plain awful.
Anyway, how've you been the last nine million years? What's the damage? Tell me everything.
This is seriously how she talks.
I mean, what is this, a John Hughes movie? Um, yeah, I'm, I'm good.
I'm good.
That's really great, Rob.
Makes me so happy to hear that you're doing so well.
Didn't say I was doing so well, but Isn't it funny to think that we used to spend hours just dreaming about the lives that we would lead 10 years down the line and now here we are living them? It's so I don't know Remarkable.
KAT: Remarkable.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it is.
KAT: So, are you in or you out, Rob? I'm sorry, am I, am I what? Well I received a spate of these "ex calls" recently.
It's probably the downside of being vaguely whatever on the internet.
And everyone just seems to be going through these "what-does-it-all-mean?" trips.
Remember Caitlin? I went out with her after you? Ka Um, vaguely.
Yeah, yeah.
So, she called me up recently, and she was trying to rehash the past.
And was I up for it? No, I wasn't.
But I am open to being pals, Rob.
So if you're around for a time, I'd love to, I'd love to see you and catch up.
Oh, well, uh [CHUCKLES.]
I'm not trying to rehash anything.
I, uh, I hate rehashing.
Rehashing sucks.
You should stop by mine tonight.
If you're in.
So are you? Tonight.
Let me just check my, um, calendar real fast.
Let me just check my Uh yeah, you know, I have something, but I can, I can move it.
- So, yeah, I'm in.
- KAT: Cool.
I don't like this.
Take it.
That is exactly right.
New York is full of people who make you feel not enough.
There's always someone more successful or richer or prettier than you.
- Kat made me feel not enough.
She also made me feel special.
Until she left me.
After which I felt especially not enough.
You wearing lipstick? - No.
- That's lipstick.
Shut up.
It wouldn't be till Mac that a person made me feel both special and enough.
And if you find that person in this fuckin' city, you're crazy if you let them go.
Turns out I'm crazy.
- Rob.
- Hey, Kat.
How are you? - Mmm! - KAT: Oh! Are you still smoking? Yeah, a little.
WOMAN: Kat! - You need to tag me in the pictures.
- KAT: Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Am I, am I crashing? What? No, no.
Not at all.
I told you it'd be a time.
A time, right.
That's a lot of people.
Wow, this Oh! Hmm.
Got a got a little - Can I? - Yeah.
I got a little lipstick on.
This is cool? This is - You got some swings.
- Yeah.
Just throw your shit everywhere Oh, yeah, cool.
Oh, I, um, I bought a little Oh, my God! Dude! Oh, my God! Do you remember the time when we just drank the cheapest beer, - and nobody gave a shit? - Yeah.
So young and free.
Yeah, I thought it would be funny to bring it.
You know, I got the cutest jacket today.
And I think, I think you might be the only person here who could just pull it off.
Trust me, just try it on.
- I think, I'm fine.
It's - Trust me.
Might be a little hot for this, no? Mm, no.
It's breathable.
God! Okay.
You're fucking remarkable.
Oh, my God.
Hi, baby! - Pretty good, right? - Yeah, this is.
Oh, hey.
Um, I'll be right back.
- Mingle.
- Oh Okay.
Hey, can you help me with a photo real quick, over there? Oh, I'm, I'm not really good at that.
Maybe you wanna ask someone No, no, no, you don't have to be good.
Like, you just come here.
Like, make it look very fucked up and vibey, okay? - Just - Oh, okay.
All right.
All right.
- Wait.
Turn the flash on, please.
- Oh, sorry.
- Is it on? - Yeah.
ROB: Hot.
Does it look real? Uh, yeah, looks, looks real.
Does it look fucked up and vibey? - Um - Wait, can you see the can? Yeah, the can's in the photo.
Looks pretty fucked up.
Oh, sick.
Thank you very much.
Dinner time! Come on.
That's when I told her, no, you can't come to my birthday party.
'Cause Beyoncé might be there and you fucking bit her.
Kat tells me you own a record store? - Mm-hmm.
- That's so dope.
I've always been shy about my musical preferences for, like, fear of judgment.
Most of it comes down to just blind conviction.
Like, do men feel the need to justify everything? No.
- They just take up space, exist.
- Right.
It's so bad-ass for you to not only occupy but freaking own such a historically masculine space.
Yeah, I guess it is kind of bad-ass.
I should hate these people.
And I think I do, but just give me a second.
So how do you know Kat? Um we used to date.
But now I guess we're pals.
How about you? Well, to be honest, we've actually never met IRL.
But I've followed her for months.
Actually, this is the first time meeting anyone here.
- What? - Don't get me wrong, I'm usually averse to doing these Instagram Influencer meet-ups.
But we're getting paid so much to hawk this Soju shit.
Korean money runs deep.
Take a selfie.
I hate these people.
They're awful.
And the most awful of the awful? Fucking Kat Monroe.
KAT: Nobody in this world is making ROB: She doesn't listen to anyone, she says terrible stupid things that mean absolutely nothing, and she totally gets away with it, because no one here cares what you say as long as your selfies are lit right.
Oh, my God.
Yes! Yes, I will see you soon.
Call me, okay? - WOMAN: Thank you.
- KAT: Say hi to Alberto.
- KAT: Bye.
Oh, fuck.
Hi, Rob.
Hey, Kat.
What? That was quite the production.
Oh, my God, I know.
I mean, it's, it's all a bit ridiculous, but, you know, it's opening doors and the sponsorship pays.
Plus these Soju dudes were just so eager.
I just felt bad for them, you know? You were great, by the way.
Yeah, so, Kat, why'd you leave me for Caitlin? Oh, my God.
Fuck! I fuckin' knew it! I fuckin' knew, motherfucker.
I knew that you were going through one of those "what-does-it-all-mean?" things! I fuckin' knew it, I'm telling you.
- Shit! - I am.
I am.
Very much so.
It's okay, I can take it.
I mean, of course I thought that you were charming and thoughtful.
And I just, I adored the way that you just got consumed by all of the things that you loved.
But I just felt that I was dragging you a bit? And Caitlin was less hard work? Like, a little bit sunnier.
Like, a little bit more sure of herself? Okay.
All right.
Thank you, that's really helpful.
And you just always seemed like, how do I put this, in search of yourself? Like, looking for constant purpose and validation? - Is that it? - You could also be a bit obsessive, like, um, a little too in touch with your feelings.
- Okay.
- I hope it's not hurtful.
You seem like you're doing great now, if it's, you know any consolation.
Oh, fuck.
We gotta go.
I need to be out by 10 or I'm screwed.
- What do you mean? - Oh, my God.
You thought that I live here? Fuck, you're funny.
Honey, this is an events rental.
Come on.
Let's go.
Oh, shit.
Da-da-da-da-da! Read it to me! Okay.
"Front woman looking for a band.
"Once in a generation soul samurai front woman "(Aretha-meets-Ann Wilson-meets-Wilson Pickett- "meets-Cree Summer-meets-Prince, - but taller and not such a weirdo)" - Weirdo.
seeks galactic cowboy supergroup.
" Read my motherfuckin' influences.
"Influences must include: - "Stevie Wonder '66-'77 only - Stevie Wonder! James Brown, Live at the Apollo 1963 (mostly side A).
" Mostly side A "King Crimson, but not so prog.
Dungen but more Nordic.
"Cream, but only Ginger and Jack.
"The tambourine on While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
"The tambourine on Edwin Starr's War.
"Think Brian Eno producing Beyoncé fronting Soul Coughing "but with Daniel Ash on guitar.
See Cherise in store for more info.
" That's definitely more specific.
SIMON: You look like a high fashion Ninja Turtle.
No, it doesn't! Yo, I could have told you that lady is the motherfuckin' worst.
Bro, she livestreams her workouts every morning.
It's the ultimate hate-watch.
You know she told me I was obsessive and too in touch with my feelings.
- Those are not the words I would use - What? No.
Not at all.
Fuck her.
- Yeah.
- CHERISE: That is crazy.
Yeah, she said some really fuckin' hurtful shit.
I am yeah, I'm done with this this whole thing.
I'm done.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know, it's weird and stupid.
I'm glad you finally realized that.
- Although - Fuck me! Why should I care what a person like that thinks about me, anyway? - Exactly.
- You should not.
- She sucks.
- She sucks.
I should want to be rejected by someone like that.
How the fuck did you get from that to this? - What kind of mentality is that? No.
- ROB: Yes.
- Yes.
Yes! - CHERISE: Are you serious? Oh, my God.
Freedom! The lessons.
The lessons.
This idea is so fuckin' baller.
You're gonna end up with your ex's ballers on your face, if you keep up with this list shit, all right? Now, you gonna sit here and lie to me and tell me you ain't fucked none of them exes? No.
This is about the truth, Cherise.
SIMON: Exactly.
Which is why you need to quit while you're ahead.
What do you mean? Just stop.
Quit before you get to the one that broke your heart.
Mac is next.
SIMON: Yeah.
Just don't do it.
I'm doing it.
Four down.
One to go.
Yo, what is the probability that she gonna fuck Mac.
What's pleasing to The eye In the delusion of my sight Is not what I find When I reach into the light I have lost my mind [CHUCKLES.]
"What are you doing, Rob? Why are you here?" Yeah, fuck that.
MAC: Hey.
Hey! Rob.
Surprise! What's up? Nothin'.
Oh, what's up? Why am I out here? Um, yeah, I was, uh, I was just over at the bar with Simon and Cherise, and we were talking and I was gonna walk home and then I remembered that you live near here now, so I thought, um, maybe I would stop Rob.
- ROB: Yeah? - Do you want to come up for a sec? Yeah.
That'd be great.
You want a drink? Uh, yeah.
I think I've got some of that tea you like.
- Maybe something stronger.
- Yeah.
- Definitely.
- Yeah.
Oh, hey, Marco.
What's up, little dude? - [MEOWS.]
You got your own.
Yeah, you trained me well.
Computer speakers will never sound the same.
Need to work on your record collection though.
That is pitiful, my friend.
I know.
Nice digs, dude.
Very nice.
Thank you.
You still rocking the jacket.
Yep, yep, I am.
I, I tried switching it up recently but 'twas not the groove.
Don't do that.
That's your look.
Hey, I'm really sorry about the late night playlist thing.
That was, um, not my finest hour.
Yeah, it was a weird move.
I just said that.
Yes, I'm sorry.
That's what I'm trying to say.
It's cool.
I'm sorry, I know I should have replied No, no, no, it's totally fine.
It's dope though.
I've been listening.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- In order? - Do you think I'm a crazy person? I learned my lesson many moons ago, Rob: thou shalt not shuffle the lady's playlists.
I'm just saying it's like that for a reason.
There's a story there, man.
Oh, I get it.
It's good to see you, Rob.
Yeah, you too.
I'm sorry we never really talked after everything went down, you know.
Me too.
The whole "moving across the Atlantic" thing didn't really give me a "let's talk about it" vibe.
So Yeah, well.
You know, I tried to talk to you, Rob, I tried over and over, but you don't listen, you never listened.
Oh, I, I never listened? I nev I nev Okay.
All right.
Lily, she's a, she's a good listener? - Oh, Jesus Christ! - What? No, no, I just wanna know.
She understands you? She nods at all the right times and stuff? What do you want, Rob? I I want you to I want you to tell me that it's not serious between you two.
I want you to tell me that you haven't proposed yet.
And I want that to be the truth.
Uh I can't do that, Rob.
Why couldn't I just ask him? I asked all the others.
I mean, that's what I went there to do, right? And I fucking choked.
Instead, I ask him if he's engaged? And he's engaged.
When you climb to the top of the mountain Look out over the sea What am I trying to figure out? That I'm doomed to die alone, and it's my fault? Or it's not, and it's fate? Either way, I'm alone.
Either way, there's no Mac.
Either way strange things circulating round All the people have got their problems That ain't nothing new It's happening.
It's happening.
Well, thanks for tuning in, folks.
Next week on the Sad Lady show, we're gonna team up and fight the loneliness together with cats and cigarettes and reruns of Murder, She Wrote.
This was a terrible idea.
It ain't easy It ain't easy It ain't easy to get to heaven When you're going down Well, all the people have got their problems That ain't nothing new But with the help of the good Lord We can all pull on through We can all pull on through Get there in the end Sometimes it'll take you right up And sometimes down again It ain't easy It ain't easy It ain't easy to get to heaven When you're going down
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