Home Improvement s08e07 Episode Script

Not-So-Great Scott

Welcome back to Tool Time on location.
We're here in Melvindale.
That's right, Heidi.
We're doing a special renovation - on the home of Marcy Miller.
Say hi.
- Hello.
Marcy's recently taken up one of America's fastest-growing hobbies, collecting fine wine.
Now, for most of us, the collection of fine wines has been associated with rich, snooty people.
Lovey, don't waste the Bordeaux on Gilligan.
But not anymore.
Lots of people are collecting wine.
And to help Marcy out, we're converting her whole butler's pantry into a wine locker.
Now, our first step is to take out the old cabinets and shelves here.
Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute.
The first step is to get rid of the old butler.
Excuse me.
Jeeves, walk yourself to the curb, but leave the silver here.
You nut.
Okay, we've finished gutting our room, now it's time to create a moisture barrier.
This allows us to control the climate regardless of outside conditions.
To start, we've covered our walls with 3-mil plastic sheeting.
Shields moisture out, locks freshness in.
Okay, the guys have just finished installing our climate-control system.
This is a combination refrigerator/humidifier, which will allow Marcy to keep the room at 55 degrees with 65% humidity.
And a 10% chance of showers.
Well, we've put in our redwood racks.
Now, if you're on a limited budget, you can substitute PVC pipe for the redwood.
There's Marcy right now.
Marcy, what do you think of your new wine room? Oh, it looks terrific.
But these shelves are so tall.
- Are you sure they won't tip over? - Not a chance.
I fastened these to the walls and floors with seven-inch bolts myself.
Added some extra weight here for stability.
Good thinking, Tim.
Well, I love it.
And to commemorate the occasion, I'm going to add this rare '56 Mouton Rothschild.
Now, because of the added weight, we've also taken the precaution of reinforcing the floor.
- We did? - Didn't we? I didn't.
I can't thank you enough for re-jetting the carburetor for me.
Hey, no problem.
No problem.
Now, what should I do with all these leftover parts? (GRUNTING) Oh, no! I'm just kidding you, buddy.
Just kidding you.
You really know your stuff.
I'm really happy Heidi married a car guy.
Well, she said you'd have fired her if she didn't.
I really like your wife.
She's a great gal.
I'm a lucky guy, too.
(DOOR OPENING) Just in time.
Mark's doing a video on the family.
Scott and I just finished re-jetting the carburetor on the Nomad.
Well, actually, Scott did it.
I watched.
Anyway, we're all finished.
Week three.
Dad claims he's finished with the Nomad.
The delusion continues.
Oh, ye of little faith.
Okay, let me put it this way.
The Nomad is done, finished.
Finito! Unless we slap a blower on her.
(GUFFAWING) This thing would run like a scalded cat! - Yeah.
- Yeah? If you would like to learn more about obsessive-compulsive behavior, please consult your local library.
There's room for a blower right over here.
Put nitrous on those, you'd get about 200 extra horses out of this.
Sweetheart, we should get going.
He just got here.
Can't he stay for the test drive? No, and he can't sleep over, either.
Heidi and I are having our own slumber party.
A slumber party? Yeah.
They finally got a night to themselves.
Her mom's got the baby.
And I got my baby.
Hey, hey, hey! We're in a garage.
(INHALES) Any and all affection must be directed towards the car.
You know, Tim and I were talking about the four of us doing something together.
That would be great.
I haven't had any time for fun lately.
What should we do? Why don't we go to dinner? Oh, that sounds fun, but we were thinking about a wrestling match.
We'd kill you.
Channel 8 gave us sportswriters free tickets.
That's right.
To see Screaming Steve Sanchez versus The Exterminator.
Channel 8's tickets are so close, you'd be wiping sweat off your foreheads.
I got it.
I got it.
We'll go out to dinner, and you two can wrestle over the check.
So, Wendy, why don't you tell me a little about why you decided to start therapy? Well, work is going great.
And I am in love with the most wonderful man in the world.
I can see how that would be a problem for some women.
The problem is he's married.
I'm sorry.
- How did all of this get started? - We used to work together.
But we always had this great mental chemistry.
Do you know what it's like when you and a man that you are crazy about are on the same intellectual wavelength? No.
But go on.
Well, one night last spring, I was at the TV station where I used to work, Channel 8, and Scott and I were both stuck there late, writing extra sports columns Hold on a second.
Did you say Scott? Yeah, Scott.
Well, anyway, it was late, and we got hungry I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just I wanna make sure that I heard you correctly.
You did say Channel 8, the TV station? Yeah, the TV station.
Anyway, it was The only reason I ask is that sometimes, if a patient's under stress, they'll get their facts confused, you know? Like they might say TV station when really what they mean is a train station or a bus station.
Are you under stress? No! No, no.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Go on.
Anyway, it was late, and Scott and I were really hungry, so we ended up going out for dinner and drinks and Then, the next thing you know You slept together.
Well, he was a little hesitant, but I just could not stop myself.
I mean, he is so sweet and so gorgeous.
And he has just got the greatest hair, I mean Yeah, blond, big shoulders, and that whole I'm just guessing.
Well, anyway, we had a great time together and Look what he surprised me with.
An owl? Well, do you think there's any significance to the owl? Well, perhaps in his mind, it represents a clandestine relationship taking place under the cover of darkness.
Or he just likes hooters.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You're going to have to assign another therapist to Wendy Reynolds' case.
Conflict of interest.
This affair affects somebody that my husband works with.
Thank you.
I really appreciate it, Doctor Gerringer.
What affair? I can't talk about it.
Come on.
Some affair at work? Let me guess.
Let me guess.
It's Al, isn't it? Huh? It's a classic case, psychologically.
He's way too close to his mom.
His house is too tidy.
He's gay, isn't he? It's not Al.
Don't ask me any more questions.
It violates my doctor/patient confidentiality.
I respect that, too.
It's Marv, the camera guy, right? It's not Marv, and the subject is closed.
- Milton! - Milton doesn't go in for that sort of thing! It's not me, is it? Heidi! She's cheating on Scott.
The guy just rebuilt my carburetor, for God's sake! It's not Heidi.
Heidi would never do anything like that.
Heidi wouldn't do anything like that? Oh, and you're suggesting Scott would do something like that? Oh, you know, it's always the man! You women get up on your high moral horse, you know? This guy would not do anything like that! He's a car guy! This car guy did do that.
I don't believe it.
He's a Chevy guy.
He's parking his Chevy in another garage.
- I don't believe it.
- Tim Look, this new patient came into my office today and told me that she was having an affair with a good-looking, married sportswriter named Scott who works at Channel 8.
"Good-looking, married sportswriter, named Scott who works at Channel 8.
" And you naturally assume it's the same good-looking, married sportswriter that works at Channel 8, named Scott, who's married to Heidi? Tim, it's the same Scott! He wined her, he dined her and then he surprised her with a wooden owl.
I've never heard it called that before.
It's a pin.
He bought her jewelry.
You can't listen to this woman.
I mean, she's in for therapy.
Obviously, she's a little off-kilter.
Probably desperate.
I mean, why else would she be going to a student therapist when she could get a real one? Because there's a lot of damn good ones out there, right? Yeah! What if the affair is still going on? What are we going to do about Heidi? Nothing! It's not the same Scott! How do you know? How can you be so sure? Honey, listen to me.
When you work on a car with a guy, you get to know him.
You share secrets.
I would have known.
Tim, I know you like to think the best of your car guys, but I'm absolutely certain it's him.
- You gotta talk to Heidi.
- I'm not talking to Heidi.
- You can't talk to Heidi.
- I can't talk to Heidi.
- It'll hurt her.
You gotta talk to Scott.
- I'm not talking to Scott.
- No, you can't talk to Scott.
- I can't, no.
And it violates my doctor/patient confidentiality with Wendy.
- There's one more thing.
- What? It's not the same Scott.
- You're in denial! - I am not.
- Are, too! - Are not! - Are, too! - Are not! Are, too! For more information on marital stress, please consult a licensed counselor.
I'm so glad we're finally able to get together.
This is fun.
Not big, greasy men body-slamming each other.
We'll save that for our anniversary.
Isn't there supposed to be a celery stalk or pickle in the Bloody Marys? Sometimes in life, we do not get everything we want.
You know, we've been coming to this restaurant for 10 years.
When are we going to get something other than the attitude? When you go to another restaurant.
You know, guys, we should order soon 'cause I gotta get back to the station by 10:00.
- Are you working late again tonight? - Yeah.
A lot of guys named Scott work late.
Well, I'm interviewing that wrestler, The Exterminator.
I'd like to know if he really has a metal plate in his head.
Just take a magnet with you.
Will you guys stop talking about work? Let's just enjoy this time while we have it, shall we? Look at Heidi's chest.
Okay, you just noticed? The pin.
- My pin? Do you like it? - TIM: Yes.
This was a gift from Scott.
I love it.
You know what? I'm gonna go call the sitter and check on Amy.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Let's see Well, the specials look good.
See? I told you it was the same Scott! What are you hitting me for? Scott's the one cheating on his wife.
What'd you say? We're just talking about the pin.
What, do you buy those things by the gross? Tim? When you want to go back to work, do you mean you're going back to work on Wendy? Will you shut up? - What are you talking about? - That was confidential information.
What'd you tell me in the first place for? I was upset for Heidi.
I needed somebody to talk to about it.
I didn't know that you would blurt it all out.
Once again, you underestimate me.
So you guys know about Wendy.
I don't know what to say.
Well, I bet you know what to say when you're working on Wendy's float bowls.
Wendy? Wendy Reynolds.
Scott, what's going on with you and Wendy? I'm guessing he's stuffing the cannoli.
I'll give you two more minutes to decide.
You slept with Wendy Reynolds.
It was months ago before she left the station, when you and I were separated.
Scott, we were separated three weeks! I didn't know what I was doing.
I was lonely.
I was miserable.
I was lonely.
I was miserable.
But do I jump in the sack with Tim? The veal looks good.
Yeah, you know, when I was younger, I used to call that "veal parma-gain-ia.
" Heidi, it was the biggest mistake of my life.
And I'm really, really sorry.
I thought we had an open and honest relationship.
And now I'm finding out this whole thing has been just a big lie.
It's not a lie.
Guys, I think we should leave.
Here's some money for the drinks.
I made a mistake.
Honey, that's way too much.
We just had two drinks.
- Tim! - I love you so much! - Hold on a minute.
- I don't believe you! Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Do you have change for a $20? - Tim! I'm sorry that we have to leave.
I hope you found the free dinner rolls to your satisfaction.
Actually, they were a tad yeasty.
- Got it.
- Me, too.
Hey, what do you think you're doing? Doing a little sequence on disgusting family habits.
Oh, really? Why don't you come upstairs? I'll show you what I can do with a Q-tip.
I feel so terrible.
So do I.
I spent 20 bucks on two drinks.
I'm talking about Scott and Heidi.
I thought we agreed not to say anything about this! I snapped.
I just can't believe he'd do that to my good friend Heidi.
Oh, I know.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
It's totally my fault.
I should've known if I told you, you wouldn't be able to keep your big yap shut.
How come when it's your fault, it winds up being my fault? No, no, no.
I should never have betrayed my patient's confidence.
What I did I disgraced the entire psychology profession.
You think you got it bad? Because of what Scott did, it's a dark day for all Chevy guys.
(BUBBLING) Wilson, what smells so good? Well, I'm making cider for the Hamtramck Apple Festival.
It's my second try.
You know, it's amazing how one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.
Tell me about it.
I just single-handedly destroyed the whole psychology profession.
(LAUGHING) Well, that's very impressive for a student.
Can you imagine the damage you can do when you actually get a license? - I don't know that I deserve one.
- WILSON: What? (SIGHS) I had a patient come in and tell me that she'd had an affair with Heidi's husband.
Heidi found out about it because I broke confidentiality and told Tim.
Now you're telling me.
Oh, my God! I did it again.
I can't believe it! I'm completely hopeless.
You know, I'm just lucky that my supervisor never found out what I did.
Well, you are right because she could've lost her license, and you could've been kicked out of the master's program.
- Really? - Oh, really.
Also, the school could've been sued, and you might've been written about in textbooks for future generations to study.
Wilson, you're not making me feel any better.
Well, excuse me! Why do I always have to be Santa's little helper? Well, I mean, I have wants.
I have needs.
I have issues.
But does anyone ever come to the fence and say, "Wilson, do you have a problem?" I mean, no! It's just "Me, me, me, me!" Wilson, of course you're right.
I'm so sorry.
Well, I'm sorry, neighborette, but, I guess, even I sometimes need somebody to open up to.
Well, you can open up to me any time.
Of course, I don't know why you'd want to.
Jill, if I wasn't comfortable talking to you, I couldn't have snapped the way I did.
- Really? - Really.
You know, you're a very good listener.
I think you'll make a very fine therapist.
Thank you, Wilson.
I still feel bad about Heidi, though.
Well, why don't you take her a peace offering of some nice apple cider? This is a secret family recipe.
- It smells so good.
What's in it? - Yeah, like I'd tell you.
(PHONE RINGING) Would you grab that please, Brad? If it's Scott, tell him I don't want to talk to him.
You want me to tell him you're washing your hair again? Just tell him I'm working on my car with somebody else.
Hello? Hey, Scott.
How're you doing? No, no.
He's actually not here right now.
Oh, really? You have tickets to the Lions game.
Fifty-yard line? No, no.
I'm afraid my dad's not interested.
No, but you know I am, right? All right, cool.
All right, I'll see you Sunday then.
All righty.
Well, you sure showed him, huh? What's that? Oh, it's just some apple cider that Wilson gave me.
He's acting kind of peculiar.
You have any idea why? Mmm-hmm.
Try some of that cider.
(DOORBELL RINGS) - Heidi? - Hi.
Come on in.
- Hi, Tim.
- TIM: Hi, Heidi.
Can I talk to you guys for a second? Yes.
Please, do.
I'm so glad that you came.
We wanted to come and find you.
We both feel just terrible about what happened yesterday.
Yeah, well, it was pretty embarrassing to find out about Scott's affair in front of my friend and my boss.
And the waiter.
The truth is, in all that awkwardness, I'm really glad it came out.
You are? Thanks to you guys, Scott and I ended up having a huge fight.
Glad we could help.
First we yelled and then, we cried, but then we really started to examine our whole relationship.
Tim and I have found that fighting really helps our relationship.
In fact, if we don't fight for awhile, we really start to miss it.
I don't miss it.
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, the important thing is that you and Scott are on the right track.
No, I don't.
I think Scott and I are going to be able to work through this.
And Tim can start taking Scott's calls again.
- Great.
I'm really glad.
- HEIDI: Yeah.
You do, you know? - No, I don't.
- Do.
- No, I don't.
- Do.
- Don't.
- Do.
Someone's having an affair at Tool Time?Tell me! I'll guess! I'll guess! - I don't have the pan.
- Well, I can't help you there.
Hold on a minute.
Hold that thought.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Wendy? Wendy Reynolds? Scott, what's going on with you and Wendy? I'm guessing he's hiding the rigatoni.
You know your stuff.
You know, and I can't tell you how important it is for me to have you a car guy because I just don't know the line.

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