Hot Streets (2016) s02e08 Episode Script

The Black Box

You know what? I love this job.
What the [Muffled screams.]
Why isn't this chloroform working? Bloroform? Ugh, that's what I get for shopping at the 79-cent store.
[Grunts, groans.]
[Exhales sharply.]
Now to get what I came for.
[Grunts.]
[Alarm blares.]
[music.]
Jet Jr.
's black box! That's my key to take him down.
Now to leave a present for Jet Jr.
[Grunting.]
Ow! Geez.
That was small, hard, sharp.
Looks like an arrowhead.
Not your best, Soo.
An extremely hard and sharp blood-soaked arrowhead was left on my desk.
Forensics matched the DNA to former assistant director Soo Park.
- [Gasps.]
- Her message is clear She wants to assassinate me and steal my black box.
You have a black box? All jets have an indestructible black box.
Think of it as our brains, brains that see and record everything.
Hot Streets secrets, nothing more valuable.
I must erase the Hot Streets files from my black box in case Park gets to me.
The only way to do this is to travel to my hometown.
Your Hot Streets mission is to protect me while I achieve my objective.
If we come across Soo Park, we must shoot to kill.
Why would Soo want Hot Streets secrets? Why would she want to kill you? French, we must follow his orders without question.
I can always count on you, Branski.
Chubbie Webbers, you're in charge of Hot Streets while I'm gone.
Jen: I don't think Chubbie is the right candidate.
- He's a dog! - Listen to me.
This job has a way of changing a man.
Besides, all you have to do is to protect my collection of vintage champagne.
For the rest of you, with me.
We're teleporting to my home.
You know, this could be nice, my old stomping grounds, see all my old friends.
Bet it's a fun place.
[Zapping.]
[Screams in distance.]
- Whoa! - Jesus! - Did we come to the right place? - [Sighs.]
Yes.
And it's exactly as I remember it.
Exactly.
[screaming.]
I read about this place in one of my favorite books, The Bible.
- Is this Hell? - Don't be ridiculous.
- This is Death World.
- That's a relief.
Jet Jr.
: I suppose everybody's hometown seems like hell to someone.
But we're a lot more modern than you think.
A word of caution about Death World Nobody looks anybody in the eye unless you want to get your ass chopped.
- Yurgh! Yurgh! - I looked! I looked! Help me! I can't stop looking! Yurgh! Yurgh! Yurgh! [Munching.]
- What the hell just happened? - Interesting! Every creature in this world has a black box, a brain that can be swapped body to body.
Hot Streets, this must be our Sherpa.
That's right.
I'm John Jacobs.
I'm a Sherpa, I'm a man, and I have an average-sized penis.
- A real man's man.
- My black box can only be erased at a place called the Secretorium by the acid volcano.
Our average-sized-penis-ed Sherpa will guide us.
It's a perilous 2-day journey through Ghoul Country to get there.
Ghouls, nature's fools.
[music.]
[Phone beeping, rings.]
Meanie, you want to get [bleep.]
up? Wuh.
Screamers for sale.
Get your ghoul repellent here! We'll take one.
These little guys scream at a frequency that can repel ghouls, the monsters that wander the Badlands.
It will be essential for our survival.
Shh! It's me, Soo Park.
Don't tell anybody.
- Soo Park! - Soo Park? - Is not here.
- Wonderful.
- Soo, why are you doing this? - For Hot Streets.
Haven't you noticed anything strange or out of place with Jet Jr.
? A lot of things.
I mean, he left a dog in charge.
It all fits with my theory that Jet Jr.
is corrupt.
I have a plan.
I'll tell you more later.
Sit tight and tell nobody, including Branski.
- You have to trust me.
- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah! - This is the one! Be warned.
This particular screamer has no field experience.
Neither did I when I joined Hot Streets, and look at me now.
I don't have eyes.
- We'll take little Screamy here.
- Yeah! Jet Jr.
: I still think we'd go faster if you'd all paddle with your hands.
- The river is acid.
- And? Jet doesn't seem to care much for his friends.
Remember when he left us to die all those times? Do you ever wonder if he's really on our side? How dare you! He's our leader, a man of integrity.
Listen up.
Death World is making me horny.
Now stick your hands in the acid for God's sake so we can move a little faster.
Whoa! Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoa! [Both laugh.]
Meanie: [Grunts.]
Wha Wha [Laughs.]
[Laughs.]
Soo: The ghouls come out at night, so we must be cautious.
Screamy here will protect us while we sleep.
Yeah! [music.]
Psst! So what's your plan, Soo? When Jet Jr.
thinks we're deleting the Hot Streets secrets, we're going to read them instead.
This is the path to the Secretorium.
In here, there are two statues.
One erases black-box secrets, but this one reveals black-box secrets.
Are you with me? Donald, if we take his black box together, - we can find the truth! - Aah! [Growling.]
[Grunting.]
Screamy, help us! Scream! [Growling.]
[Roars.]
Scream, you piece of shit! Scream! [Grunts.]
[Zaps.]
[music.]
I just turned that ghoul into a tiny crystal.
As you all know, I can turn people into crystals.
It's one of my favorite abilities.
And as you know, I can only do it once every 8 hours.
I didn't know about the 8 hours part.
That ghoul didn't have a black box, just an open slot.
Creatures without brains eventually turn into ghouls and haunt the badlands of Death World searching for black-box brains.
That's the thing about Death World.
Nobody dies here.
[Ghouls growling.]
[music.]
Here is your second chance, Screamy! Scream! Scream! Hey! What the? Sir, you have to scream.
Crah.
See, French? Jet Jr.
saved us.
You know, where I'm from, we have a thing called friends who help each other in times of need.
What? Do you want us to die? Yeah! I'll have to stay in Screamy's disgusting body to fight off ghouls.
Sherpa, lead the way to the Secretorium so we can get this over with.
[music.]
Jet Jr.
: The Secretorium.
All secrets live or die here.
[music.]
Okay.
Let's purge my confidential secrets so we can get back to Hot Streets.
Sherpa, you know what to do.
You're taking me to the wrong statue, dummy.
Time to learn the truth! French? The Korean Judas herself.
Wait! Let's hear Soo out! Mark, Jet Jr.
is sabotaging Hot Streets.
I have it all worked out in my head, and I can prove it to you now.
That's ridiculous.
I have nothing to hide.
Go ahead.
Put me in the wrong statue, you fool.
Tell us, statue of knowledge.
What is Jet Jr.
's evil plan? There is no evil plan.
Just as I thought, the statue has been compromised! Yeah, it proves my point! - Soo? - No more funny business.
What is Jet Jr.
's darkest secret? Jet Jr.
is attracted to Asian women.
Aha, see? He's got an Asian fetish! - Enough, Soo.
- I think I've proven my point enough.
By destroying this box, I'll be reinstated as assistant director and save Hot Streets.
Branski, I order you to shoot her.
As a black box, I'm only vulnerable to acid.
She can't get me.
This isn't what Hot Streets is about! [Screams lightly.]
Ohh! Aah! Fuck! [Gunshots.]
[music.]
She's gonna toss Jet Jr.
's brain into the acid volcano! - Screamy, you want to help us? - Yeah! You've learned the meaning of friendship - and want to guide us? - Yeah! Should we put you inside that cat - and ride you up the volcano? - Yeah! Yeah! [music.]
[Gunshots.]
Screamy, in the tree! [music.]
Soo's at the top! We'll never make it! - Can you get there, Screamy? - Yeah! - Yeah! - Screamy is the man, Jen.
Yeah! Have you been ventriloquist-ing this whole thing? Yeah! Jet Jr.
: Wait.
Let's think about this, Soo! I can offer you an entry-level job at Hot Streets.
Screamy: Yeah! - Come to your senses, Soo! - I'm doing this for you, Donald! I'm doing this for Hot Streets! [music.]
Wait! Of course.
It all makes sense now! Everyone, I'm so sorry.
I made a huge mistake.
[Gun cocks.]
- You sure did.
- Mark.
[Gunshot.]
[Rumbling.]
I'm back.
[rumbling.]
Ghouls! [Helicopter blades whirring.]
Flank to the left! Form a perimeter around the survivors! What? What? What? What? What? [Gunfire.]
[music.]
This job has a way of changing a man.
Good call, Branski.
Your bullet deleted Soo's little black box, so I didn't have to delete mine.
- You killed Soo Park.
- I didn't kill anyone.
I didn't.
- Branski, you killed Soo Park.
- I didn't kill her.
I didn't.
She just stepped out.
She stepped out.
[thinking.]
Branski killed Soo Park.