How to Sell Drugs Online: Fast (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

Nerd Today, Boss Tomorrow

1 [birds chirping] [man speaking over radio] [electric drill whirrs] [whirring continues] [indistinct yelling] [youth] A guy who sells drugs on the Internet.
[policeman] He's gone! [Moritz] That's probably how you imagined it.
But I'm sorry to disappoint you.
That petty criminal there isn't me.
[groans] [youth] But rather one of my many copycats.
[man] What did the boy do? [youth] Let's see.
He didn't adequately secure his shop's database from investigators' injection attacks.
And he was constantly bragging about his "part-time job" as a flirting tactic.
Not ideal.
If you're selling large quantities of drugs on the Internet, there's one thing you should never do tell total strangers about it.
[director] Okay, cut.
Unless, of course, Netflix calls and tells you - they want to do a series about your life.
- [laughter] - [sings] Ba-dum - [Netflix sting plays] Good morning! - [Dad] What's that book? - [Moritz] My welcome-back gift.
[Marie] "Moritz: Skype later?" - [Dad] Marie! - "Lisa: No, I can't.
" Is this your whole WhatsApp history? Yes.
From the year that she was gone.
- [Marie] How creepy is that? - [phone beeps] FLIGHT LANDING IN 10 MINS [signal beeps] [pilot in English over P.
A.
] Ladies and gentlemen, once again the captain speaking.
Local time in Dusseldorf is 6:50 AM.
We apologize for the delay and say thank you and bye-bye.
[signal beeps] [passengers murmuring] [toothbrush whirrs] [gurgles] [rings] CONNECTING CALL [computer voice in English] Not available.
Not available.
MORITZ AND LISA - [Lisa laughs] - [Moritz chuckles] [Moritz singing in English] Happy birthday to you [Moritz] Goodbye, come back safe.
RINGING [German national anthem playing] Hey! Welcome back to the land of limited opportunities! - [Lisa] Thanks.
- Wow, you look wrecked.
Same old Moritz.
Thank you! [customs official] Please, no phones here.
If I'm gone, they've found the bomb.
Yeah.
I just wanted to ask when I can give you your welcome-home present? Moritz, our connection's really bad.
Can we just talk later? Wait.
Okay.
Now it's better.
I was going to give it to you at the airport, but - [official] So, young lady, hello? - [Moritz]since the flight was delayed, - I thought - Wait a second.
We have to look in here, too.
Here.
Have fun.
[Lisa] There's nothing inside.
[Moritz] Is everything okay? I wanted to talk about this later in person, but Please end the conversation now.
Please, this is really important! Well [man speaking over P.
A.
system] You know [indistinct chatter] I think I need some time to myself right now.
It has nothing to do with you, I It's just, I'm more scared now of coming back than I was of leaving a year ago.
So I[sighs] maybe for now, could we take a break? [official] Hang up and close the suitcase.
[Lisa] Sorry.
CALL ENDED ["You & Me" playing] Gonna be you and me Gonna be everything You ever dreamed Gonna be you and me LISA NOVAK HAS UPDATED HER COVER PHOTO.
IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU 1 MUTUAL CONNECTION LOG OU PASSWORD LOG IN [sighs] A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES [theme music playing] [Moritz] Hi, I am Moritz Zimmermann.
I'm 17 years old and this is my generation.
- [images whirring] - [Moritz] Generation Z.
Everyone here has the entirety of mankind's knowledge in their pockets.
They could become famous with a single click, or change the world without leaving their bedroom.
Limitless technological possibilities.
And what do we do with it? - Face swap! - [laughing] No one tries to be special anymore.
And why should they? Online, you can pretend you have the most exciting life in the world, - when in reality - [student] Shit! [Moritz] Well and because I don't go along with it, I'm an outsider.
Fine with me.
After all, everyone successful used to be a nerd.
Guys like us, who everyone saw as losers until eventually it clicks, and they prove everyone wrong.
[in English] Not today, but tomorrow.
Are you coming? This, by the way, is the day it clicked for me.
If I log in to her account, that means we don't trust each other anymore.
You tell your best friend that your girlfriend dumped you only after hours of cross-examination, and you're talking about trust? We're just taking a break! Google says that "taking a break" is breaking up for cowards.
Maybe you should just forget about her for a few months.
- Are you even listening to me? - Yes.
[boy yells] Now we can finally really bust our asses for MyTems.
Then when we're millionaires, Lisa will come running back.
That's how women are.
Yeah, maybe.
[faint laughter] Or she has someone new.
[laughing] - [Moritz] Who's that? - Dan? Dan, the guy who supplies half the school with drugs.
The brother of Melanie, with the tits.
You know Melanie with the tits, right? Since when does Lisa hang out with guys like that? Tall, handsome, popular.
[chuckles] Yeah, not really her type.
[Lenny] Right.
[Moritz] "Daniel Riffert.
Goes by 'Dan.
'" Eighteen years old.
Goes around shirtless, even in April.
What a dipshit.
His father played for the national team - for about two seconds.
- [crowd voices cheering] His mom manages the Rinseln Savings Bank.
Typical rich kid.
But his parents want him to earn his own money like they did.
The perfect family.
He spent six weeks in South America last summer.
Of course he did.
Super intense time.
Life-changing experiences.
Does Capoeira and goes jogging five times a week.
But not as fast as you'd think.
He's gluten intolerant, uses too many emoticons, - and likes realgrumpycat - [cat meows] and the national team on Facebook.
What an asshole.
And Fucking Rinseln.
No reception again.
Let's just focus on the pitch, okay? Otherwise, I'll want to "take a break," too.
- [Gerda] Hey, Moritz.
- Ta da ta da-aa [Dan] We're sitting over there.
[Lenny] Moritz? Hello? - What? - I spent 689 hours programming what is likely the most advanced, most secure, and hottest online shop system in the world.
So? It has the password stored for the MyTems shop and everything else on my server.
In case I [Moritz] In case he dies.
That's the thing about Lenny.
According to his doctors, he should be dead by now.
So he stopped asking his doctors about it.
[signal chimes] The PIN is the date we first had the idea for MyTems.
- [Moritz] Okay.
- What do you mean, "Okay"? I give you the key to my Sistine Chapel, and you just say "Okay"? - [Moritz] Okay.
- This pitch is really important to me! Don't fuck it up! [ticking] Just so I understand correctly, there are people who pay real money for computer game swords? [Lenny] Obviously! How else would you kill a Level 100 Blood Elf Paladin? It's true.
One billion people across the globe play online games such as World of Warcraft League of Legends, or Fortnite.
And that's our big opportunity.
We're the eBay for online gamers.
The eBay for online gamers! Wow! INNOVATION COMPETITION Yes.
Until now, if you wanted to trade rare items or successful accounts for online games, you had to go into shady Darknet forums somewhere between drugs, real weapons, and freak sex.
We proudly present [both] MyTems! "Trade game items online.
" Looking for a chromatic sword? Only a total moron would pass that up.
[timer rings] [teacher] Sorry.
That was your time.
Thank you very much.
Wait a second, please.
We'll take a quick photo, okay? [teacher] Next will be "I love Rinseln," 7B.
[woman] And smile! [camera shutter clicks] Great.
Keep it up! And breathe! [girl] Has he already contacted you? [indistinct chatter] [whistle tweets] [boys whooping] [faint clicking] LOG IN LOADING PHOTO ALBUMS, VIDEOS, USA, PRIVATE PRIVATE [Moritz] This happens to be the expression you make when you realize that you don't know your own girlfriend anymore.
For those of you who, like me at that point, don't have a clue what those pills are, and what's in them, put your phone down and listen to Lenny's mother.
It will be important later.
Everyone else can press the "skip" button.
Methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine, or MDMA for short, is the main psychoactive agent in the party drug ecstasy.
The pills come in all shapes and colors.
And they all have different additives and MDMA contents.
In the best case, it keeps you up all night, in the worst case, it lands you in the emergency room.
[Ms.
Sander] The effects set in after about 20 minutes.
Your brain releases huge quantities of serotonin, noradrenaline and dopamine, which means, your body produces pure bliss.
Your blood pressure rises, you're awake, attentive and extremely empathetic.
You experience every feeling more intensely.
Freedom, tenderness, love.
And the downside? How do you think you'd feel the next morning after your brain has blown its entire supply of happiness hormones? - [gasps] - [fingers snap] - Hmm? - Do you maybe want to dip your toes in, or is it your time of the month again? Say hi to Lenny.
I can give you two a ride home, by the way.
What are you two doing here? Get moving.
LISA'S CHATS LISA: YOU'RE OFFICIALLY INVITED TO MY PARTY.
DAN: YEAH - WHEN AND WHERE? DAN:? LISA: SORRY; ONLY JUST READ IT.
LISA: NO.
13 WURZELBUSCH AVENUE LISA: TODAY, 8 P.
M.
LISA: THE PILLS ARE YOUR TICKET TO GET IN.
[Ms.
Sander] Okay, last few minutes! One, two, three.
Hey, I just messaged you.
[panting] [Dan] I'll get some.
I'm meeting my secret source today anyway.
Well, it's the only source in Rinseln.
Lisa, can we talk a second? - Hi.
- Hey, I'm Dan.
- Yes, I know.
- And you are? Moritz.
- [Dan] Ah.
- Lisa's boyfriend.
Wow, crazy.
I thought you were [Lisa, Moritz] We're taking a break.
- Can we talk? - [whistle tweets] [Ms.
Sander] Okay, everyone get changed! I gotta go, sorry.
See you later.
Yeah, okay.
See you around, Maurice! [Moritz] Yes, I know.
The swimsuit is distracting.
But can we concentrate on the facts for a moment? My girlfriend is throwing a welcome-back party I'm not invited to.
And she didn't ask me, but rather the good-looking school dealer, to get drugs for everyone.
And to keep an eye on them! [in English] Fuck! [electronic trilling, beeping] [chatter] It's annoying, you have to re-calibrate and heat the printing bed every time.
- Why? - [boy mutters] Because of warping, men! [Lenny] You're totally clueless! When you're done, put the 3D-printer back.
And when you want to use it again, ask the man with the magic key, okay? [indistinct chatter] Lenny? I need your help.
Just on a scale of one to ten, how little does it matter to you that you drove MyTems off a cliff because all you could think about was Lisa? - [panting] - Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.
You ran here? I guess it really is important to you.
- I have a cramp! - Lift your arms.
- [boy] What a pussy! - Hey! You just focus on your dick.
It's about Lisa.
I really need your help.
If it doesn't work out, I'll never mention her again.
I promise.
[keyboard clicking] We'll figure it out with MyTems.
- [in English] Deal? - [in English] Deal.
Okay, pick me up at my house with your car in two hours.
What's the plan? [Moritz] Good question, Lenny.
The plan to win back my girlfriend by making sure that Daniel Riffert shows up at the party empty-handed.
[thunder rumbling] - [Lenny] That's your plan? - [Moritz] Yes.
Okay, Moritz.
How sure are you? [Moritz] Fifty-five.
You're only 55 percent sure that Daniel buys his drugs here? Look, Lenny.
Daniel posts all his jogging results.
He always runs at five p.
m.
, the same route every time.
But on Mondays, he stops at this pizzeria Cavalli for about one hour.
- Yeah.
Maybe he goes riding here.
- Riding? There's not a single horse on his Instagram.
Moritz, it's a pizzeria.
Carbs! - [In English] Cheat day.
- That's what I thought at first, too.
But after that, he runs for 45 minutes at eight miles an hour.
Then he picks it up here and eats it later.
Cold pizza? After running through half of Rinseln with it? Besides, he lives by Pinocchio Pizza, and it has five stars on Yelp.
Okay, "Sherlock.
" And that's enough for you to go in there and order a pizza a la MDMA? Wait.
I'm not finished.
Daniel fucking Riffert, Mr.
Perfect, is allergic to gluten.
Hmm? Okay, good point.
And if anything goes wrong, I have something of a Plan B.
[door bangs] Hello? [faint whinnying] Okay, all set.
[birds chirping] [horse neighing] [bangs] [pops] - [tools clatter] - [door creaks] - [Moritz] Hi.
- Can I help you? Where is that in Italy? - That's Albania! - Nice.
[sighs] I actually Everything on the table is one euro.
I heard that you - that you sell ecstasy.
- Hmm? - [inhales] That you sell ecstasy.
- Fuck off.
Yeah, okay.
I'd really like to buy some from you.
[gulps] Let's just say I had what you want.
Give me one reason why I should sell it to you.
Because for one [grunts] And secondly, I don't know you.
- So, it's - And third you don't look like someone who's ever had any fun in his life.
[pops] [crunches, chuckles] My girlfriend Lisa ahem just came back from a year in the US.
And she's totally changed.
Maybe it's the tap water over there.
I've heard they pump it full of hormones.
- [crunches] - Anyway, now she's back and she wants a break from our relationship.
She's suddenly into party drugs and a guy who's way better-looking than me.
- Not that Lisa cares about that, but - [faint rumbling] it does make you think as a young man.
So I thought as a welcome-back gift, I could get her some ecstasy.
To show her that now I'm open to all kinds of fun.
And because I'm convinced that it's the best way to win her back.
Right? How much do you want? All of it.
I wish I were invited to that party.
Here.
That's all I got.
But I'll need another five of those bills.
Would it be okay if I brought the rest of the money later? - No problem.
- Yeah? - Sure.
- Really? Of course not! Now fuck off.
Go back to Mommy.
EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE? PLAN B [clicking] Are you fucking insane? - Did you just? - [Moritz] It's too late.
- [phone clatters] - The photo's already on the cloud.
[faint beeping] [beeping continues] IMAGE WILL BE SENT TO CONTACTS [beeping continues] - [gun hammer clicks] - [Moritz gasps] If I'm not out of here in two minutes, that photo will be sent to all my Facebook friends.
[beeping continues] Including the GPS coordinates and an explanation of how you earn your living here.
- [in English] Bullshit.
- [timer trills] You have 100 seconds.
[beeping resumes] You just made a big mistake.
A very big mistake.
[beeping continues] You have to understand, this is an absolute emergency.
I'll pay you the rest of the money very soon.
Promise.
- [thumps] - [groans] [music playing on radio] [beeping continues] He believed that? I didn't know you were such a good liar.
- I could have programmed it for real.
- Sure.
But you don't have any Facebook friends.
[Lenny] So, Mr.
Zimmermann, did you shoot anyone yet this week? [chuckles] No, not this week, for a change.
[sighs] But you know, police work is like fishing, actually.
They're always biting for one guy DAN: LOOKING FORWARD TO I but for the other guy they don't bite.
DAN: HAD SOMETHING LEFT Moritz.
[Dad] But the thing is that the fish don't bite for one guy so that the other guy can catch them.
DAN: TICKETS! CHECK.
Do you understand? [Dad] No one really knows what's going on under the water.
[Dad] Marie! Are you coming? LIVE - 6 VIEWERS So, boys what's going down this evening? You know your son.
We're going to Lisa's party.
We'll supply all the drugs, and a bus full of hookers is coming at midnight.
[laughs] Lenny, you're such a character.
I HAVE SOME INFORMATION Moritz, that's enough.
- What did we say? - [Marie] No phones at the table.
Exactly.
- [Marie] I don't want linguine! - [phone ringing] You know what? Let it ring.
We're eating dinner.
- What if it's important? - [Marie] We never get important calls! - Answer it! - Answer it yourself! [phone beeps] [automated voice] Text message received.
Hello, Mr.
Zimmermann.
I have some interesting information for you.
We don't know each other but Daniel Riffert sells ecstasy to students here at our school.
He's carrying drugs on him right now.
He is currently doing Capoeira training at No.
12, Witt Street.
Wow, he's really hot! - received on Monday - [Moritz] Don't you have to go there? "Imminent danger" or whatever? To be honest, I didn't understand where it is.
Capoeira.
It's a martial art.
- Twelve Witt Street.
- Go get him, Dad! Finally, a bite! Ute, we just got an anonymous tip.
[Dad] Violation of the Narcotics Act.
[distant dog barking] [faint voices overlapping] [Lenny] Are you sure you want to give that as a gift? And where did you even get the money for it? - [doorbell rings] - Moritz, I asked you a question! - From our project account.
- What? [Moritz] From the MyTems account.
I'll pay it back.
- Dude, are you insane? - [Moritz] Hi.
- Lenny! [laughs] - Hi, Fritzi.
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
Moritz! What are you doing here? Hi! [laughs] ["You & Me" playing] And me Gonna be everything you You ever dreamed Gonna be you and me [Gerda] Moritz? Hey.
- Aren't you and Lisa? - What's Daniel doing here? Same thing he always does.
Look good, talk, and hand out drugs.
He's been bragging all night that he was almost arrested.
But they couldn't prove anything.
He even sent around a selfie he took with a cop.
Look.
But they only found four pills on him.
[girl] I already saw that.
Gonna be you and me Gonna be everything [Moritz] So that you can understand how important all this is to me, ever since the day my mother left me sitting here in Rinseln, Lisa has been the only woman in my life that means something to me.
[pings] [murmurs] Mo, hi! Feel my skin, it's really soft.
[chuckles] - Feel it, really.
- [Dan snorts, chuckles] Um, can you come with me? Forget that jerk for a second.
I brought you something.
- Relax, okay? - Here.
Hey! [clattering] - [Dan] Come on.
- Hey! I'm responsible for them.
Your negative vibes will give them a bad trip, and I'll have to clean up the mess.
Hmm? Yeah.
What would we do without him? Daniel Riffert.
With his protein shakes and his stupid Capoeira, and his constant shirtless photos and 1,764 Instagram followers, half of which are bought.
Yeah, what are you looking at? Namaste to all the Riffert fans at the click farm in India! But you know what? Hmm? We smart people aren't impressed by that.
[Dan] What's your point, eh? Lisa and I are going to the US after we graduate.
[Dan] Wow.
[Moritz] To study.
Together.
And start careers.
[scattered chuckling] And you know what happens to super-popular guys like you? What? In a few years, you'll be collecting dry cleaning for guys like me.
[snickering] Asshole.
[sighs] What makes you think that you, of all people will ever achieve anything? If I understood her properly, it wasn't just your own mother who left you.
Even your girlfriend has realized that you don't have any balls.
[crowd groans] Oh, right, I mean your [whispers]ex-girlfriend.
[Dan] Okay, people, the party continues.
- [screams] - [grunts] [youth] Whoa! [windshield wipers whirring] [radio beeps, music playing] [radio beeps, music stops] [Moritz] Yeah, I know.
Right now I look like the guy who will pick up the dry cleaning for Daniel.
[tires screeching] [Lenny] Let me know next time you use our money to buy drugs for your girlfriend! - I thought we were a team! - [Moritz] Hey! The money will be back on our account in three days! I promise! ["Being Special" playing] I was told I had a funny way Of walking hours during the rain But my shoes are only pretty If they're walking towards you Underneath the tilted overtree In a nutshell you're defined You have been there for a while now So I'll keep that place in mind All the people on the train are tired FOR THE "FRESHLY BAKED" MYTEMS CEO LOVE, MOM Being busy makes you pretty At least that's what the doctor said - [grunts] - [rain pattering] [Moritz] But like I said [in English] "Not today, but tomorrow.
" I've been here many times before Fell from upstairs To the bottom of the door "Being lonely makes you special But being special Makes you lonely too" Said the girl on the television news I was wondering, "Is she talking about me?" SEARCH [sniffles] [Moritz] And click.
["Being Special" resumes] "All of us will go insane Everybody will just blow up In flames" Said the girl on the television news I was wondering, "Is she talking about me? Is she talking about me? Is she talking about me? Is she talking about me?"