I Didn't Do It (2014) s02e01 Episode Script
Slumber Partay!
Huh.
"Under new management.
" Oh, so the old manager dude's name I never learned isn't here anymore.
I wonder what happened to I didn't learn it either.
I love what they've done with the place, which seems to be nothing.
Welcome to the new and improved Rumblejuice.
What's new about it? Me.
The name's Betty Lebow.
That's why I'm wearin' the bow.
If you forget the name, look at "le bow.
" If you have a problem with me, you can "le go.
" That's not a joke.
Great.
I'm gonna have to find a new safe place.
So Betty, have you always been in the smoothie business? No.
Retired military.
I was in the Coast Guard.
Coast Guard.
What do they do exactly? They guard the coast.
Oh, boy, that's a thinker.
Now I'm pursuing my dream.
Your dream is to make smoothies? My dream is to drink smoothies.
Care to make my dream come true? You must be the sassy one.
- Betty likes sassy.
- Thanks.
But only when it's coming from Betty.
So, ladies, what are you doing this Saturday night? I'll tell you what you're doing.
My house, slumber party, who's with me? Okay, we're gonna try this again.
My house, slumber party, who's with me? Linds, I don't know.
I'm gonna have a ton of homework this weekend.
Yeah, and I can't come because One second, let me find my list of excuses.
Oh, oh, here's one.
My weasel's gonna be sick.
Okay, I get it.
Some of my slumber parties haven't been the best.
Some? How about all? Remember the one when we were ten, you gave us both head lice.
Hey, that was not my fault.
I got it from Logan.
- Got it from Garrett.
- Got it from Delia.
- Got it from Jasmine.
- And I got it from you.
And I got it from Logan.
Oh, no, we already went around once.
Remember the one when we were eleven? Pineapple pizza.
Trampoline, barf.
Or the year after that.
Veggie chili, trampoline, barf.
You'd think we would've learned.
That's enough barf talk for me.
Wanna head out? Yes.
Hey, if Lindy's having a slumber party this weekend, can I stay at your house? Sure.
My parents will be out of town, so we can go nuts.
Within reason.
What's it like to be ruled by fear? Fear doesn't rule me.
Just makes very strong suggestions.
Even if I wanted to come to your lame slumber party, I can't.
My AP Bio teacher scheduled a big test for Monday.
That's not fair.
I know.
Mr.
Jenkins does it all the time.
He's the meanest teacher ever.
That's why I'm in choir.
There's no homework in choir.
Wait, there is some.
Done.
Jazz, come on, you can study on Sunday.
And I promise you, this party will be the one to end the streak.
Come on! Say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
All right, just because you're dancing doesn't mean Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
No dancin'.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
No finger dancin' either.
Okay, girls, off with the cleansing strips.
Eww! My pores are so dirty.
My turn, my turn.
Eww! So disgusting.
Huh.
I thought that was a freckle.
Eww.
Let's see what's next on Lindy's list o' fun.
We have done manis, pedis, facials, and now, it's time to talk about boys.
Deels, crushin' on anyone right now? A few guys, actually.
They all wear matching tank tops and shorts, and hang around the gym a lot.
The basketball team? Yeah.
Them.
How about you, Jazz? Crushin' on anyone? Logan.
I don't like Logan.
Why would you say that? 'Cause he just came in the room.
Oh, right.
Of course.
I knew that.
Lindy, I'm headin' over to Garrett's.
I took the cover off the trampoline, so let the puking begin.
No, not this year, because this party is rockin', right, girls? I lost a freckle.
Congratulations.
Should I tell Garrett you said hi? - Yeah.
- Whatever.
- That was funny.
- What was funny? You thought I was crushin' on Logan, but he was just walkin' in the room behind me, and you were just sayin' his name, like you would when somebody walks into a room.
I think Jasmine's cleansing strip took a couple of brain cells.
I'll grab you a sleeping bag.
Great, thanks.
What's with all the dog pics? You know my mom shows Great Danes.
I talk about it all the time.
Don't you listen? I'm sorry, what? That's where my parents are this weekend, a dog show.
Hey, so where are your parents this weekend? Um, Garrett? He's Mom's first champion.
That is such an honor.
She named him after you.
Actually, it's the other way round.
- You were named after a dog? - He was a champion.
That's Garrett one.
Oh, so you're Garrett two.
Actually, I'm three.
Oh.
Oh, here's the sleeping bag under this bar bell.
You can sleep on the couch.
So your dad's hittin' the weights? No, my mom.
Seven days a week.
Can't get enough of it.
She can still carry me in from the car when I fall asleep.
Oh, your old game player.
Remember this? Time Traveling Caveman Adventures.
Our first video game.
I remember that one day I got to level six, and had brunch with Eleanor Roosevelt.
Why did we like this game? Because it's the only game you had.
I made friends with you mostly because you had this.
I hope this wasn't the only reason.
No.
You had lots of cool stuff back then.
You wanna play? We can plug it into that old TV over there.
Sure, let's do it.
I wish your mom was here.
That was so sweet, and so sad.
- Funny movie.
- What? No, it wasn't funny.
She went all the way around the world just to find her true love when he was right next door.
It's too bad she didn't go the other direction.
Then it could've been a two-minute movie.
Jazz and I liked it, right, Jazz? Jazz? What are you doing? Just taking a little break from all the fun.
You're studying, in the middle of my slumber party? I have to.
If I don't ace this AP Bio test, then I won't get into AP Physics next year.
That means I won't get into MIT for undergrads, or grad school at Stanford.
Then I won't get to do important medical research while meeting a brilliant, gorgeous guy, and having 2.
5 fashion-forward children with silky, manageable hair.
And that is more important than my slumber party? Jazz, you know you can take this test right now and ace it.
Come on, we're gonna go watch that movie again, and you're gonna cry with me.
The dude of her dreams is the guy next door.
Spoiler alert! Wait, was I supposed to say "spoiler alert" first? Okay, movie's out.
What's next on the list? Let's see.
We have done manis, pedis, facials, talked about boys, watched sad movie Oh, man.
We should've staggered our fun.
Maybe we should just call it a night.
What? No, no, it's only 10:00.
If we go to bed now, it won't be a great slumber party.
Don't overreach and worry about throwing a great slumber party.
You threw a good to average slumber party.
Look, we had three really good hours.
That's more than you've ever done by three hours.
Can we at least make shadow monsters on the ceiling with our flashlights? - You really wanna end with that? - No.
Come on, come on.
You're not really a time traveling caveman if you never get out of the cave.
I am trying, okay, but this square wheel is useless.
Here's a tip.
Make it round.
Oh! That works better.
Yes, yes.
I'm out of the cave.
And eaten by a T-rex.
All right, your turn.
- I'm gonna go get us a snack.
- Okay.
Why, yes, Mrs.
Roosevelt, I'd love a scone.
- What happened? - There's something out there.
- It attacked me.
- What is it? I don't know.
It was big and scary, and I'm pretty sure it's not your mom.
You were attacked by what, a wild animal? I don't know.
It was dark.
Maybe it was a bear.
A bear in Chicago? Haven't you ever heard of the Chicago Bears? That's a football team.
Where do you think they got the name? Not from my backyard.
Why would a bear attack me? Maybe, I don't know, you were attacked by a tree branch.
That makes no sense.
Everyone knows that when trees attack, they throw apples at you.
There's nothing out there.
I'm gonna go get us some snacks.
All right, but you need something to protect yourself.
Here.
What am I supposed to do with this? Well, you can hit the thing with this end, and if that doesn't work, you can use it this end to mop up your blood.
Ooh, it's 11:11.
I love it when it does that.
All those ones.
I should wake up the girls and show them.
They don't wanna miss great! Now it's 11:12.
I guess three hours of a good slumber party is pretty good, right? Wrong.
I can do better.
And besides, I'm tired of talking to myself.
Wake up, wake up, everybody up! This slumber party is not over.
I just had a very long talk with myself, it was 11:11 and Oh, the ones.
I love that.
So fun, right? Why are we up? Because we are goin' out.
- To do what? - I don't know, but I'm thinkin' maybe something big and crazy.
I don't remember that being on the list.
Oh, I got it.
Let's go rattle some trash cans, get some dogs and cats all worked up.
No, we're not gonna mess with animals.
We're gonna mess with people.
Yeah, people.
They got it comin'.
- I know, let's TP someone.
- Do you know who deserves it? Mr.
Jenkins, for making me study all weekend.
That's a great idea.
I didn't mean we should actually do it.
Come on, Jazz, you're always telling me to loosen up, now I'm telling you to loosen up.
Why don't you ever tell me to loosen up? You're already loose.
I am loose, aren't I? I still don't think we should do it.
Come on, get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
I'm not falling for that.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
- Get up, say whee - Sh! My parents.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
You don't think the bubble wrap is overkill? Nope.
You'll be safe in the yard, and can be shipped anywhere around the world.
I'll be right back.
All right, if you run into any trouble, I'll be in here.
You were right.
Definitely not a branch.
Hook shot.
Whoo! Scoop shot.
Whoo! I ran out of toilet paper.
Please tell me that was you going "whoo whoo.
" No, no.
Sure is quiet out there.
My phone just died.
We have no way to communicate with the outside world.
This must be what it was like to be alive in the '80s.
At least that thing is outside.
We'll just stay in here where we're safe.
There's something under the tarp.
- It's inside! - Quick, get in the cage! No, we can't.
My mom told me to never go in there.
- That's Garrett's room.
- You're a Garrett, too.
No, I'm three! Excuse me, officer.
I'm Lindy, and you are? Writing up your arrest report.
I'll just call you officer.
Anyhoo, uh, cute story.
I've been throwing these slumber parties for a while now, and they've always been, well, less than successful.
But tonight, three hours of my party were pretty good, and I should've been happy with that.
But I wasn't.
I got greedy.
- Is this going somewhere? - I sure hope so.
Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is, if anybody should take the blame, it should be me.
- Sounds good.
- Works for me.
You all TP'd, you're all getting in trouble.
Um, officer, did you ever have a teacher you didn't like? Someone who just made your life miserable? Who made you study every weekend? Who put flower stickers on your spelling tests? I think I've lost the thread.
Picking it back up, the kind of teacher whose mission in life was just to make you unhappy.
You ever have a teacher like that? I got a sergeant like that.
He once made me work a double shift on my birthday.
Didn't even bother to sign the card.
Then I just tell you happy belated birthday.
Someday, I'd love to give him a piece of my mind.
That is all we were doing here, officer.
Just giving Mr.
Jenkins a piece of our mind.
Is there any chance we could I don't know, forget this whole thing? Well, if I arrest you, there is a lot of paperwork.
And I did wanna do some online shopping.
I'm gonna let you off with a warning, if you promise never to do this again.
- We promise.
- Never again.
Good.
I'll give you a ride home.
Girls, check it out.
It's 12:12.
Don't you love that? I'm kinda thirsty.
Is this for anyone? Knock yourself out.
Don't wanna fill up.
Hey, can I ask you something? I'm not goin' anywhere.
Back when we were kids, did you really only like me for my stuff? Because I'd hate to think our friendship is only based on that.
It's not.
I liked you for a lot of reasons.
- Like what? - Well You know what? Never mind.
No, I was thinking about it.
Sorry, I didn't make that clear.
Okay, here's something.
Happened on the first day we met.
We were in the lunch line at school, it was pizza day.
Remember those big square pizzas that came on those giant trays? Who could forget? - And I was hoping for a corner piece.
- Double crust.
The jackpot of elementary school pizza.
But then the lunch lady with the giant mole handed me my plate, it was a lousy middle piece.
- Ooh, tough break.
- Yeah.
So I sat down with my stinkin' middle piece, and I'm almost in tears, when this goofy kid came up and said, "Here," and handed me his corner piece.
I could tell you needed it more than I did.
And that's just one of the reasons I liked you.
There's a lot more where that came from.
Thanks, man.
So, uh you wanna tell me something you liked about me? Maybe some other time.
When I can't feel your heartbeat.
Garrett.
Garrett, wake up.
You gotta see this.
A squirrel? We spent the night in a cage because of a squirrel.
Oh, he's cute.
Hey, little guy.
You know, someday, this is gonna be a funny story.
Or we could keep this to ourselves, and never tell another living soul.
That's better.
And you thought it was a bear.
Yeah, that was pretty stupid.
Hang on, I forgot my phone.
Oh, hey, bear.
Bear! Hey, why are you wearing your old glasses? I must've left my other ones at your house.
I had no idea my head has gotten so big.
- Oh, hey, Sassy.
- Hi, Betty.
I was thinkin' I'd come over your house later and put my feet up on your furniture.
And what are you lookin' at? Nothin'.
Just enjoying the friendly atmosphere.
Oh, Sassy's got a sister.
- Hey, how'd your test go? - Aced it.
- All right.
- You're da man.
Get up, say yes, I aced my test.
Get up, say yes We're done with that now.
And you totally broke your bad slumber party streak.
- That was the most fun ever.
- Can't wait for the next one.
And the best part is, we broke some rules and no consequences.
Hello, ladies.
Hi, Mr.
Jenkins.
Um, great test today.
Think I did pretty good, just sayin'.
My career is complete.
Oh, by the way, my house got TP'd on Saturday night.
You three wouldn't know anything about that, would you? - Not a thing.
- I don't even know where Elm Street is.
It's just that somebody dropped their glasses on my front lawn.
I thought perhaps they might belong to one of you.
- Not me.
- I don't wear glasses.
As you can see, I'm wearing mine.
BTW, tiny glasses are in.
Oh, well, I guess I'll never get to catch the culprits.
Oh, "BTW," I want to invite you to my classroom after school tomorrow.
I'm showing a little movie entitled Three girls get detention.
Courtesy of the security cameras I have in my front yard.
Eight different angles, and it's playing every day for the next two weeks.
Hook shot, whoo! Hey, we're in a movie.
Whoo! Whoo! Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posey.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Is that a plastic owl? Yeah, people put those up to scare away rodents and birds and stuff.
He's got a whole bunch of 'em.
Oh, I thought it was a camera.
It better not be, or else Mr.
Jenkins can see us doing this.
And this.
"Under new management.
" Oh, so the old manager dude's name I never learned isn't here anymore.
I wonder what happened to I didn't learn it either.
I love what they've done with the place, which seems to be nothing.
Welcome to the new and improved Rumblejuice.
What's new about it? Me.
The name's Betty Lebow.
That's why I'm wearin' the bow.
If you forget the name, look at "le bow.
" If you have a problem with me, you can "le go.
" That's not a joke.
Great.
I'm gonna have to find a new safe place.
So Betty, have you always been in the smoothie business? No.
Retired military.
I was in the Coast Guard.
Coast Guard.
What do they do exactly? They guard the coast.
Oh, boy, that's a thinker.
Now I'm pursuing my dream.
Your dream is to make smoothies? My dream is to drink smoothies.
Care to make my dream come true? You must be the sassy one.
- Betty likes sassy.
- Thanks.
But only when it's coming from Betty.
So, ladies, what are you doing this Saturday night? I'll tell you what you're doing.
My house, slumber party, who's with me? Okay, we're gonna try this again.
My house, slumber party, who's with me? Linds, I don't know.
I'm gonna have a ton of homework this weekend.
Yeah, and I can't come because One second, let me find my list of excuses.
Oh, oh, here's one.
My weasel's gonna be sick.
Okay, I get it.
Some of my slumber parties haven't been the best.
Some? How about all? Remember the one when we were ten, you gave us both head lice.
Hey, that was not my fault.
I got it from Logan.
- Got it from Garrett.
- Got it from Delia.
- Got it from Jasmine.
- And I got it from you.
And I got it from Logan.
Oh, no, we already went around once.
Remember the one when we were eleven? Pineapple pizza.
Trampoline, barf.
Or the year after that.
Veggie chili, trampoline, barf.
You'd think we would've learned.
That's enough barf talk for me.
Wanna head out? Yes.
Hey, if Lindy's having a slumber party this weekend, can I stay at your house? Sure.
My parents will be out of town, so we can go nuts.
Within reason.
What's it like to be ruled by fear? Fear doesn't rule me.
Just makes very strong suggestions.
Even if I wanted to come to your lame slumber party, I can't.
My AP Bio teacher scheduled a big test for Monday.
That's not fair.
I know.
Mr.
Jenkins does it all the time.
He's the meanest teacher ever.
That's why I'm in choir.
There's no homework in choir.
Wait, there is some.
Done.
Jazz, come on, you can study on Sunday.
And I promise you, this party will be the one to end the streak.
Come on! Say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
All right, just because you're dancing doesn't mean Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
No dancin'.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
Get up, say yay to the slumber partay.
No finger dancin' either.
Okay, girls, off with the cleansing strips.
Eww! My pores are so dirty.
My turn, my turn.
Eww! So disgusting.
Huh.
I thought that was a freckle.
Eww.
Let's see what's next on Lindy's list o' fun.
We have done manis, pedis, facials, and now, it's time to talk about boys.
Deels, crushin' on anyone right now? A few guys, actually.
They all wear matching tank tops and shorts, and hang around the gym a lot.
The basketball team? Yeah.
Them.
How about you, Jazz? Crushin' on anyone? Logan.
I don't like Logan.
Why would you say that? 'Cause he just came in the room.
Oh, right.
Of course.
I knew that.
Lindy, I'm headin' over to Garrett's.
I took the cover off the trampoline, so let the puking begin.
No, not this year, because this party is rockin', right, girls? I lost a freckle.
Congratulations.
Should I tell Garrett you said hi? - Yeah.
- Whatever.
- That was funny.
- What was funny? You thought I was crushin' on Logan, but he was just walkin' in the room behind me, and you were just sayin' his name, like you would when somebody walks into a room.
I think Jasmine's cleansing strip took a couple of brain cells.
I'll grab you a sleeping bag.
Great, thanks.
What's with all the dog pics? You know my mom shows Great Danes.
I talk about it all the time.
Don't you listen? I'm sorry, what? That's where my parents are this weekend, a dog show.
Hey, so where are your parents this weekend? Um, Garrett? He's Mom's first champion.
That is such an honor.
She named him after you.
Actually, it's the other way round.
- You were named after a dog? - He was a champion.
That's Garrett one.
Oh, so you're Garrett two.
Actually, I'm three.
Oh.
Oh, here's the sleeping bag under this bar bell.
You can sleep on the couch.
So your dad's hittin' the weights? No, my mom.
Seven days a week.
Can't get enough of it.
She can still carry me in from the car when I fall asleep.
Oh, your old game player.
Remember this? Time Traveling Caveman Adventures.
Our first video game.
I remember that one day I got to level six, and had brunch with Eleanor Roosevelt.
Why did we like this game? Because it's the only game you had.
I made friends with you mostly because you had this.
I hope this wasn't the only reason.
No.
You had lots of cool stuff back then.
You wanna play? We can plug it into that old TV over there.
Sure, let's do it.
I wish your mom was here.
That was so sweet, and so sad.
- Funny movie.
- What? No, it wasn't funny.
She went all the way around the world just to find her true love when he was right next door.
It's too bad she didn't go the other direction.
Then it could've been a two-minute movie.
Jazz and I liked it, right, Jazz? Jazz? What are you doing? Just taking a little break from all the fun.
You're studying, in the middle of my slumber party? I have to.
If I don't ace this AP Bio test, then I won't get into AP Physics next year.
That means I won't get into MIT for undergrads, or grad school at Stanford.
Then I won't get to do important medical research while meeting a brilliant, gorgeous guy, and having 2.
5 fashion-forward children with silky, manageable hair.
And that is more important than my slumber party? Jazz, you know you can take this test right now and ace it.
Come on, we're gonna go watch that movie again, and you're gonna cry with me.
The dude of her dreams is the guy next door.
Spoiler alert! Wait, was I supposed to say "spoiler alert" first? Okay, movie's out.
What's next on the list? Let's see.
We have done manis, pedis, facials, talked about boys, watched sad movie Oh, man.
We should've staggered our fun.
Maybe we should just call it a night.
What? No, no, it's only 10:00.
If we go to bed now, it won't be a great slumber party.
Don't overreach and worry about throwing a great slumber party.
You threw a good to average slumber party.
Look, we had three really good hours.
That's more than you've ever done by three hours.
Can we at least make shadow monsters on the ceiling with our flashlights? - You really wanna end with that? - No.
Come on, come on.
You're not really a time traveling caveman if you never get out of the cave.
I am trying, okay, but this square wheel is useless.
Here's a tip.
Make it round.
Oh! That works better.
Yes, yes.
I'm out of the cave.
And eaten by a T-rex.
All right, your turn.
- I'm gonna go get us a snack.
- Okay.
Why, yes, Mrs.
Roosevelt, I'd love a scone.
- What happened? - There's something out there.
- It attacked me.
- What is it? I don't know.
It was big and scary, and I'm pretty sure it's not your mom.
You were attacked by what, a wild animal? I don't know.
It was dark.
Maybe it was a bear.
A bear in Chicago? Haven't you ever heard of the Chicago Bears? That's a football team.
Where do you think they got the name? Not from my backyard.
Why would a bear attack me? Maybe, I don't know, you were attacked by a tree branch.
That makes no sense.
Everyone knows that when trees attack, they throw apples at you.
There's nothing out there.
I'm gonna go get us some snacks.
All right, but you need something to protect yourself.
Here.
What am I supposed to do with this? Well, you can hit the thing with this end, and if that doesn't work, you can use it this end to mop up your blood.
Ooh, it's 11:11.
I love it when it does that.
All those ones.
I should wake up the girls and show them.
They don't wanna miss great! Now it's 11:12.
I guess three hours of a good slumber party is pretty good, right? Wrong.
I can do better.
And besides, I'm tired of talking to myself.
Wake up, wake up, everybody up! This slumber party is not over.
I just had a very long talk with myself, it was 11:11 and Oh, the ones.
I love that.
So fun, right? Why are we up? Because we are goin' out.
- To do what? - I don't know, but I'm thinkin' maybe something big and crazy.
I don't remember that being on the list.
Oh, I got it.
Let's go rattle some trash cans, get some dogs and cats all worked up.
No, we're not gonna mess with animals.
We're gonna mess with people.
Yeah, people.
They got it comin'.
- I know, let's TP someone.
- Do you know who deserves it? Mr.
Jenkins, for making me study all weekend.
That's a great idea.
I didn't mean we should actually do it.
Come on, Jazz, you're always telling me to loosen up, now I'm telling you to loosen up.
Why don't you ever tell me to loosen up? You're already loose.
I am loose, aren't I? I still don't think we should do it.
Come on, get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
I'm not falling for that.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
- Get up, say whee - Sh! My parents.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
Get up, say whee, 'cause we're gonna TP.
You don't think the bubble wrap is overkill? Nope.
You'll be safe in the yard, and can be shipped anywhere around the world.
I'll be right back.
All right, if you run into any trouble, I'll be in here.
You were right.
Definitely not a branch.
Hook shot.
Whoo! Scoop shot.
Whoo! I ran out of toilet paper.
Please tell me that was you going "whoo whoo.
" No, no.
Sure is quiet out there.
My phone just died.
We have no way to communicate with the outside world.
This must be what it was like to be alive in the '80s.
At least that thing is outside.
We'll just stay in here where we're safe.
There's something under the tarp.
- It's inside! - Quick, get in the cage! No, we can't.
My mom told me to never go in there.
- That's Garrett's room.
- You're a Garrett, too.
No, I'm three! Excuse me, officer.
I'm Lindy, and you are? Writing up your arrest report.
I'll just call you officer.
Anyhoo, uh, cute story.
I've been throwing these slumber parties for a while now, and they've always been, well, less than successful.
But tonight, three hours of my party were pretty good, and I should've been happy with that.
But I wasn't.
I got greedy.
- Is this going somewhere? - I sure hope so.
Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is, if anybody should take the blame, it should be me.
- Sounds good.
- Works for me.
You all TP'd, you're all getting in trouble.
Um, officer, did you ever have a teacher you didn't like? Someone who just made your life miserable? Who made you study every weekend? Who put flower stickers on your spelling tests? I think I've lost the thread.
Picking it back up, the kind of teacher whose mission in life was just to make you unhappy.
You ever have a teacher like that? I got a sergeant like that.
He once made me work a double shift on my birthday.
Didn't even bother to sign the card.
Then I just tell you happy belated birthday.
Someday, I'd love to give him a piece of my mind.
That is all we were doing here, officer.
Just giving Mr.
Jenkins a piece of our mind.
Is there any chance we could I don't know, forget this whole thing? Well, if I arrest you, there is a lot of paperwork.
And I did wanna do some online shopping.
I'm gonna let you off with a warning, if you promise never to do this again.
- We promise.
- Never again.
Good.
I'll give you a ride home.
Girls, check it out.
It's 12:12.
Don't you love that? I'm kinda thirsty.
Is this for anyone? Knock yourself out.
Don't wanna fill up.
Hey, can I ask you something? I'm not goin' anywhere.
Back when we were kids, did you really only like me for my stuff? Because I'd hate to think our friendship is only based on that.
It's not.
I liked you for a lot of reasons.
- Like what? - Well You know what? Never mind.
No, I was thinking about it.
Sorry, I didn't make that clear.
Okay, here's something.
Happened on the first day we met.
We were in the lunch line at school, it was pizza day.
Remember those big square pizzas that came on those giant trays? Who could forget? - And I was hoping for a corner piece.
- Double crust.
The jackpot of elementary school pizza.
But then the lunch lady with the giant mole handed me my plate, it was a lousy middle piece.
- Ooh, tough break.
- Yeah.
So I sat down with my stinkin' middle piece, and I'm almost in tears, when this goofy kid came up and said, "Here," and handed me his corner piece.
I could tell you needed it more than I did.
And that's just one of the reasons I liked you.
There's a lot more where that came from.
Thanks, man.
So, uh you wanna tell me something you liked about me? Maybe some other time.
When I can't feel your heartbeat.
Garrett.
Garrett, wake up.
You gotta see this.
A squirrel? We spent the night in a cage because of a squirrel.
Oh, he's cute.
Hey, little guy.
You know, someday, this is gonna be a funny story.
Or we could keep this to ourselves, and never tell another living soul.
That's better.
And you thought it was a bear.
Yeah, that was pretty stupid.
Hang on, I forgot my phone.
Oh, hey, bear.
Bear! Hey, why are you wearing your old glasses? I must've left my other ones at your house.
I had no idea my head has gotten so big.
- Oh, hey, Sassy.
- Hi, Betty.
I was thinkin' I'd come over your house later and put my feet up on your furniture.
And what are you lookin' at? Nothin'.
Just enjoying the friendly atmosphere.
Oh, Sassy's got a sister.
- Hey, how'd your test go? - Aced it.
- All right.
- You're da man.
Get up, say yes, I aced my test.
Get up, say yes We're done with that now.
And you totally broke your bad slumber party streak.
- That was the most fun ever.
- Can't wait for the next one.
And the best part is, we broke some rules and no consequences.
Hello, ladies.
Hi, Mr.
Jenkins.
Um, great test today.
Think I did pretty good, just sayin'.
My career is complete.
Oh, by the way, my house got TP'd on Saturday night.
You three wouldn't know anything about that, would you? - Not a thing.
- I don't even know where Elm Street is.
It's just that somebody dropped their glasses on my front lawn.
I thought perhaps they might belong to one of you.
- Not me.
- I don't wear glasses.
As you can see, I'm wearing mine.
BTW, tiny glasses are in.
Oh, well, I guess I'll never get to catch the culprits.
Oh, "BTW," I want to invite you to my classroom after school tomorrow.
I'm showing a little movie entitled Three girls get detention.
Courtesy of the security cameras I have in my front yard.
Eight different angles, and it's playing every day for the next two weeks.
Hook shot, whoo! Hey, we're in a movie.
Whoo! Whoo! Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posey.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Is that a plastic owl? Yeah, people put those up to scare away rodents and birds and stuff.
He's got a whole bunch of 'em.
Oh, I thought it was a camera.
It better not be, or else Mr.
Jenkins can see us doing this.
And this.