I Hate Christmas (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

Come in un presepe

[upbeat Christmas music playing]
Miss, help us look for baby Jesus.
"Let's save Christmas."
They think finding baby Jesus
and putting him back in the Nativity scene
can make everything revert.
I have news for you. Baby Jesus is dead.
He's gone. Finished. Not coming back.
Forty-eight hours until Christmas,
and, shall I say it?
Don't give a damn.
I've been trying to call for two days.
I know. Sorry, but I'm in a bit of a rush.
I have to go to work.
Let's talk tonight then.
We can take the boat and help out
with the search for baby Jesus.
What do you say?
Just me and you, like the good old times.
Do you mean like before I found out
you were cheating on Mum?
- Gianna
- I can't pretend nothing has happened.
I know Mum has her faults, but
But you
You've always been the perfect man for me.
When I was little,
I used to think,
"When I grow up, I'll marry him."
Well, I'm not marrying you any more.
[phone ringing]
- Yes? Yes, speaking.
- [phone ringing]
- Hello?
- What do you mean, a fire?
- What?
- We're on our way.
We're on our way.
[sombre music playing]
What happened?
Marta? Marta!
Mama! How are you?
I was at the counter.
I saw that smoke, and
- Thank goodness they came right away.
- I'm sorry, Mama.
For everything.
[funky music playing]
I got my style ♪
Hmm. Typical Christmas call-out.
I call it "Nativity scene bulimia".
You start with a little house,
and you end up with a blaze.
Were there any non-standard lights,
by any chance?
Uh, no. Um
My friends and I
wanted to create a waterfall.
- With rapids.
- Hmm.
We'll draw up a report
for the insurance company,
but apart from the smoke,
I don't think there's damage, hmm?
Come with me.
Let's go and sign the statement. Come on.
I knew it.
I get distracted for one moment,
and disaster strikes.
Then she gave me a lift on her bike,
said her usual things.
"I knew it. It's my fault."
"I knew it was dangerous
to put the Nativity scene in the window."
"Do you want me to die?" [sighs]
And then she got straight to the point.
I know what you're thinking.
That I'm 35.
I'm a good mum, a good little wife,
and then I slept with a 27-year-old barman
who looks like a little boy.
- No, I don't think that.
- You hate me!
Tell me you hate me, then we can
get this whole thing over with.
It's always the way.
You do the right thing your whole life.
You help your parents with their shop.
You get married
to your high school sweetheart.
You have two children.
You raise them on your own,
and then just one fuck up, and it's enough
to make everyone forget your sacrifices.
No, Margherita, it's not like that
I would've liked to have found
my dream job as well, you know?
Travel around the world, go wild.
- I haven't exactly gone wild!
- I've always had to be the older sister.
With Mum and Dad always at the shop,
and then the whole thing with Mum leaving.
I've always tried to keep you all safe.
I know.
Well, thanks for bringing me here.
You used to, when I was little.
It's your fault
I've got these shitty calves!
- [laughing] You don't have shitty calves!
- I'm sorry.
Having to be a mum
is turning me into ours.
No, you're right, actually.
Love only lasts a second,
and everything else is just
bills and betrayal,
so you might as well stay grounded
and look for the right man.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yes. See you.
See you.
[light music playing]
- [Matilde] Is that for me?
- Mm-hmm.
It's beautiful. Thank you.
If you need a house,
even though it's a bit burnt,
you know where to find me.
So what are your plans
for Christmas dinner?
Are you invited anywhere? Any guests?
I don't know. Your husband's driver?
[laughing] Oh, him?
I can't even remember his name!
He'll be an old man, too, by now.
What am I supposed to do
with an old man? No, no!
I'm going to stay here, in peace.
I'm going to watch a bit of TV, then
You know, darling, when
When you get old
and you don't have children
or even a husband any more,
well, you usually spend the holidays
on your own.
And you don't mind?
No, no. I'm quite happy
with the choices I've made.
Do you want to know something really nice?
There's nothing better
than smoking a nice cigarette in bed,
without having to ask anyone's permission.
[both laugh]
[tender music playing]
[uplifting music playing]
I'll get old, spend Christmas on my own,
and I won't even be able to smoke
a cigarette without annoying anyone
because I don't know how to smoke!
- [elevator dings]
- That's right. That's right.
- See you later. Yeah.
- See you later.
- [man 2] Well, I'll see you soon.
- [Didi] Thanks. Thanks very much.
- Do you know him?
- No, I was looking for you.
He was very kind.
Well, everyone is kind to you.
Shall we eat together?
Then you can tell me about the fire.
Yeah. There's not much to say.
Your boyfriend went overboard
with the waterfall.
He caused a short circuit and risked
setting my parents' shop and home on fire.
So if you're going
to sleep with crazy guys,
try and keep them
away from flammable sources, okay?
Well, firstly, Mario's not my boyfriend.
And, secondly, at least I'm trying.
Not like you, waiting around for the man
of your dreams to just magically appear.
And the only one you actually like
isn't even old enough
to vote in the Senate.
If the thing with Mario annoys you,
you can calm down because it's over.
He invited me to his house for Christmas,
but I don't want to spend the evening
sat across from his mother,
who will be judging me
and thinking that my top is too low-cut
or that I'm not the right woman
for her son.
That's when I should've started
to understand,
but I wasn't really
in the right frame of mind.
[drum riff]
[funky Christmas music playing]
[man] They'll find it this time.
- [woman] Let's hope so.
- [man] Did you find it?
- [woman 2] Oh well! Let's go.
- Bye!
I didn't call her a slut.
No, I just said that she has no problem
with sleeping with crazy guys. [laughs]
Hmm. So?
I'd just seen Dad cheating on Mum.
I was shaken.
I'd like to see you in my place.
Yes, but it's not cheating.
Mum knows.
What do you mean, Mum Mum knows?
Yeah, she knows. She knows.
She actually is cheating on Dad
with someone from her Pilates class.
Oh, Gianna. Gianna!
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
Mum and Dad have been going through
a rough patch for two, three years.
They've actually given themselves
until Christmas as
As their last
As their last?
As their last chance.
And if this last chance doesn't work,
what are they gonna do?
And why do you know all this and I don't?
Mum told me.
She didn't say anything to you
because she knew you'd react like this.
How am I supposed to react?
They might get divorced.
Come on.
Lots of people get divorced.
Yes, I get that, but we're not
talking about lots of people.
- We're talking about my parents.
- Gianna.
They're mine as well.
And I'm your big sister,
so I should be the wise one.
Yeah, I'm not wise though.
I just want to cover my arse.
I've had to learn to mind my own business!
Come on.
Let's go and get the last few presents,
and let's not talk about all this
until Christmas.
[Gianna] Hmm, that's easy to say.
This was the second clue,
and I started to understand, more or less.
- Oh! No, sorry. Oh
- Sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
No, no, no. You saw it first.
- Really. It's only fair.
- No, don't worry.
They'll have other copies.
My mum used to read it to us
in the evening to get us to go to sleep.
So did mine.
The Road to Nowhere is my favourite.
"And that instead, for those who hope,
leads to the most beautiful place
in the world."
That's exactly the one.
You know, after my accident,
I thought of all the roads I hadn't taken,
of all the things I hadn't done.
I felt like an idiot.
I told myself
that nothing would stop me any more.
That's why I took you
to the seaplane base.
No, no, no, but I was wrong because
Because everyone
flies in their own way.
That was a very beautiful thing to say.
You are beautiful.
[Giulio] Gianna, are you ready?
[Gianna] Yes. Ready.
Ah, hi.
Good morning. Hi.
So are you not going to introduce us?
Of course! Carlo, Giulio. Giulio, Carlo.
Nice to meet you.
- You're Carlo Terrinoni, aren't you?
- Yes.
I've been
to one of your wineries in Milan.
- A masterpiece! Well done!
- No!
Yes, yes, yes.
We'll go together some time if you want.
No, no. It's one of the worst ones.
I'm about to sell it.
Merry Christmas, Gianna.
Merry Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
[ethereal music playing]
He's He's my brother! We're not
We're not
You looked like my boyfriend!
I'll call him and explain. [sighs]
Okay, then. I'm going.
So see you tomorrow night?
[Gianna] See you tomorrow.
The twins are going crazy with excitement
to sit next to their spinster auntie!
- You're so funny! Bye.
- [Giulio] Mm-hmm. Bye!
- Gianna, wait!
- Hey.
Hi. I heard about the fire.
Oh. Yeah, well, it was nothing serious
in the end. Lots of smoke, but
Someone could've been hurt, and it could
have ended in tragedy. It's all my fault.
What do you mean, your fault?
The other day, when I saw
Margherita and Thomas in bed together,
I went down to the shop
to go and light a candle
and ask for the grace
not to hate your sister too much.
the fire was caused by your candle,
and not by Mario's waterfall.
I swear to you,
I thought I'd blown it out,
but it was a prayer candle,
and they're stubborn!
Don't worry.
[sighs] Well, did it work at least?
Not really, but I'm working on it.
Anyway, I don't know,
I do try and have faith
and keep believing,
but what if this love that lasts forever
doesn't exist?
[melancholy music playing]
I'll be having a word
with Margherita this time.
It's not Margherita's fault.
Thomas wasn't the one,
otherwise he wouldn't have slept with her,
would he? Right?
Well, I can't argue with that.
My heart wants to. [laughs softly]
Do you know what I liked
about the origami?
They look like sculptures,
but they're fragile, just like people are.
That's why you have
to treat everyone equally with kindness.
How do you manage to always be this nice?
[laughs] I'm not nice.
I've just set fire to your shop!
That is true.
[both laugh]
That's when everything was clear.
I'm not the only unlucky one
among people who have perfect lives.
My friends, my parents, even my brother,
they've all got imperfect lives.
But that's the nice thing, hmm?
Christmas isn't mad at me.
I'm the one who doesn't understand
the real meaning of Christmas.
Is there anything I can do
to make it up to you?
What size do you wear?
So what does this mean?
It means I'm an idiot.
And I'm sorry.
The fire wasn't Mario's fault.
It was Caterina's fault. She told me so.
This is Caterina's.
If you want something to wear for dinner
with Mario that his mother might like
Even though that's not the problem.
You know that.
Apology accepted. Now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to read my book.
I was jealous!
I wasn't jealous of Mario. I was jealous
of you because you're my best friend.
I know you won't be able
to live here forever,
obviously, but it's the first time
I've seen you like a guy this much,
and I'm scared. There!
I'm scared too.
It took me a lot of time
to get to who I am.
I like my life.
I like
how I am. I like being one.
I like the sound of my heels
on the parquet.
The sound of heels on parquet
is wonderful.
It's just that now I like Mario too.
And it's all a mess
because I know how to manage one, not two.
How do you know?
Maybe that's the good thing, hmm?
What if he dumps me?
What if
if I trust him and then he leaves?
I'll cut his micro-penis off.
Guys like him always have a micro-penis!
- He doesn't have a micro-penis!
- Yes!
And he won't dump you.
Santa will heal
All the scars in my soul ♪
And to make me feel better ♪
That's the real meaning of Christmas.
Not the thing about micro-penises.
You can forget about that.
The real meaning of Christmas
is that we're all looking for love,
all of us.
But the only way to receive it
is to give it.
And it's all right to do crazy stuff
if you're doing it with people
who are happy to do it with you.
Do we have to get on that contraption?
It's very safe.
Carlo was very generous to lend it to me.
You dumped him with no explanation.
I wouldn't trust
his generosity too much, hey.
Come on, honey, let's leave it.
I don't want to die on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, you'd be stealing baby Jesus's
limelight, too, and that's not nice.
You've been good at stealing
other people's things recently.
You bitch.
Cati, in a way,
I sacrificed myself for you.
I told you
it wasn't Thomas leaving you the origami.
Yes, at least a hundred times.
Don't worry. Everything's fine.
But just to be sure,
don't sit too near me on the plane.
My head's one thing,
and my instinct is another.
[Didi] Gianna, are you sure?
I mean, a phobia is a phobia.
["Edamame" by BBNO$ (ft. Rich Brian)
I'm sure.
Balls hanging low
While I pop a bottle off a yacht ♪
Chain swinging, clang, clang
And it cost a lot ♪
Bitch, I'm always after guala ♪
[Margherita] Help!
Badass B keep on goin'
Till you hit the spot ♪
Whoa! I'm a big ♪
[Caterina] Ready?
She gonna fall for daddy, that's a no ♪
Okay, remember
what the instruction manual said.
If you're feeling scared, close your eyes,
take a deep breath, and remember a time
when you felt really safe.
I don't need to close my eyes.
Hey, little mama ♪
Yeah, you heard about me
I'mma pop you like a pea ♪
Yeah, edamame ♪
Yeah, feels so hot, like I'm chillin'
On the beach, yeah baby ♪
In the sun like the Teletubbies ♪
Balls hanging low
While I pop a bottle off a yacht ♪
Chain swinging, clang, clang
And it cost a lot ♪
Bitch, I'm always after guala, yeah
And you're not ♪
Badass B keep on goin'
Till you hit the spot ♪
I'm a big bag hunter with the bow ♪
She a got a big bad dumper
Drop it low ♪
Mama called me
And she happy with the grow ♪
Never ever fall for daddy, that's a no ♪
[Margherita] I'm telling you, I'm fine.
My blood pressure just dropped.
You fainted, you fell down the stairs,
and you even bumped your head.
- Go on, put some ice on it.
- Yes, but I didn't die.
Do you realise
how important this moment is?
Something bad just happened,
then it passed.
Well, get checked out for me.
I need to wrap all the presents,
get the children's clothes together
Leave it to Guido, hmm?
- You're resting today, okay?
- [sighs]
I'm going upstairs to say you're here.
It's not true
that love only lasts a second.
And even if it did, it's still worth
looking for because then you miss it.
I miss it so much.
[sombre music playing]
[woman] You need to take this in a while.
There you are, finally!
I've been looking for you for an hour.
Sorry. I'm really sorry.
I'm a bit late, but I'm just going
How many years
have you worked on Christmas Eve now?
Um, well, since I started here,
so maybe all of them! [laughs]
Go home this year.
- I'll cover your shift.
- Hmm.
- I'm doing it for me.
- Um
That way, I don't have to have dinner
with my sister-in-law.
Are you sure?
Get out of here, before I change my mind.
Okay. [laughs]
Cathy. Hi. Listen.
That Christmas cake, have you got some?
You couldn't bring it to me here
at the hospital?
I'm going to my parents'
for dinner tonight.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.
- Hi!
- Hi.
I heard that you are not working tonight.
No, that's right.
I'm going for dinner with my parents.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Just, uh, five minutes?
I mean one minute.
Of course. Do you want Shall I Okay.
Are you happy about your free evening?
Well, yes! [laughing]
It's the first after three years.
That's great then. [clears throat]
Oh, I mean, not great.
I mean, three years of
I mean, your free evening.
No, of course. [chuckles]
See, I can't even talk properly
when I'm near you.
Did I Did I do something wrong?
No, no, no, no, no, no. No!
- Uh
- [Umberto] No, nothing.
It's [inhales]
Uh, I like you.
[clears throat] There.
A lot. [laughs]
Actually, I think I may be
a little bit in love with you.
Well, I don't think so
because I know so, and
I'm not telling you
because I want something.
I'm telling you
I mean, I wanted you to know because
Well, to be honest,
that's not exactly true either.
I'd like to know what you think.
What I think about
Yes, because I think
you're fantastic, and
I mean, in addition to
I mean, you're really beautiful, you know?
- And
- Thank you. [laughs]
[phone buzzing]
Your phone's ringing.
Excuse me for a second.
One second. Caterina?
Yes, I'm a bit busy at the moment.
Yes, the one with the chestnuts.
Exactly. That one.
Yes. Bye-bye. See you.
Here I am. Sorry.
You were saying that you
That you're talented, Gianna.
You see people.
You see patients,
even when they wouldn't want you to.
When they need a hand
but aren't able to ask for one.
So I was wondering if
you could find it in yourself
to also see me?
[Gianna] Uh
[alarm blaring]
- The patient is in respiratory arrest.
- [Gianna] Patrick!
[Umberto] We need to intubate him.
Tell intensive care.
- I'm coming too.
- No. Gianna, go home. Go!
[equipment beeping]
Thank you.
Patrick, the
the guy who had the endocarditis,
he got much worse.
And it was tonight that his girlfriend was
coming to see him, and he
had decided to get off drugs for her.
It's not fair.
All the love that is [sniffles]
forever lost.
[Gianna] "The love you give
will always come back to you."
Love Actually, right? [chuckles]
Isn't it? [chuckles]
That's my favourite film!
[laughing] Yes!
["Niente è come sembra" by Colombre
Hey! There you are.
This is the last one,
so make sure you put it in the fridge,
or it'll be ruined.
[Gianna] Yes, thanks. Um
I'd like you to meet
This is Diego. He works at the hospital.
- Hi.
- Diego is deaf, and
Hi. My name's Caterina.
You know sign language?
Sorry, but how
I'm Diego.
I understand!
- I'm a Scout. [laughs]
- [Gianna] Ah!
[Gianna and Caterina laugh]
I make the origami you've been finding.
[Gianna] I'm going.
- Bye.
- [Gianna] Bye.
So you make the origami?
The morning I arrived in Chioggia,
I was unhappy.
You came out of the bar,
put some flowers on the table,
even though it was raining.
And I knew it was you.
You were what brightened up my days.
["Niente è come sembra" continues playing]
[church bell ringing]
Oh my! Oh my! I must say,
Malvasia d'Ischia is much better.
- Well, at least it's hot.
- Hmm.
This is good though.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Genny, Gabriella's boyfriend.
Yes, I know. Very nice to meet you.
I heard about the Nativity scene.
I'm sorry.
But if you want,
I have some spare shepherds?
Oh, yes?
Yes. I don't know if you need
a wise man, uh, or an ox!
- [laughing] An ox! Maybe!
- I have them all.
Razzullo, Sarchiapone,
and the little sheep.
Do you need any little sheep?
Oh, I also have the gypsy, the one you put
in front of the cave with a mirror.
[light Christmas music playing]
- Well
- All right. Well, Merry Christmas.
- Maybe I'll see you on Boxing Day.
- [Gianna] Happy Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you too.
- Merry Christmas, dear. Merry Christmas.
[mum] Ah, Gianna!
With everything that has happened,
I didn't manage to make the panettone.
- I'll keep it a secret.
- [both laugh]
Thank you.
Gianna, wait.
When I left, 25 years ago
it wasn't because
I didn't love your father.
I was very young.
I thought I'd done something stupid.
I felt like my life had been lost.
I went to an ex-university friend's house,
but I missed everything.
I missed your father's breathing.
And imagine, I even missed your crying!
I know I haven't had a perfect marriage,
but I've never ever regretted
coming back home.
And I'm sure you'll find a home too.
[sombre music playing]
Come on. Let's go.
Your siblings have already arrived,
and, uh
Gianna, sorry,
but that elastic I bought you
that keeps your shoulders straight,
you do wear it, don't you?
Yes, yes.
I'll start wearing it from tomorrow.
She'll never change.
It's called "Christmas", not "miracle".
Children! Come and sit at the table!
[Margherita] Next to Mummy.
Margherita, isn't your husband here yet?
Uh, no. Guido, he he can't come tonight.
Guido has an important work thing.
He actually asked me to sit in his place.
- Oh.
- [mum clears throat]
So, Gianna,
is this mystery boyfriend coming?
Well, let's just say
I'm waiting for someone important,
someone who has taught me
that we're often a bit
full of preconceptions
and that we should all have
a bit of poetry in our lives.
- [dad] Good.
- [mum] Good.
[doorbell rings]
There we are. Excuse me.
- A big moment.
- Yes.
Mama, Papa,
this is Diego.
- Ah!
- [Giulio] Hi, Diego.
Diego, how lovely. What a pleasure!
- Please sit down.
- And Caterina. You already know her.
[dad] Hi, Caterina.
I thought it was only right that,
for once,
she eats something nice here
and we take care of her.
Yes, Diego and I
work together at the hospital.
I'm Silvia. Nice to meet you.
Good. Well, if that's all of us,
I'll go and get the roast.
- Yes.
- [doorbell rings]
Gianna, are you expecting someone else?
Yes. It's someone I've known
for some time,
but in the past few days,
I've realised how important she is to me.
She's someone
who has really broadened my horizons.
Oh, great.
Excuse me.
This is Matilde.
[Matilde] Hey, such lovely people!
Oh Lord, maybe I have the wrong house?
- Is this a funeral?
- [Gianna laughing] No!
I've never seen
this many sad people all together!
[all laugh]
[sighs] Here we are, all together!
- [Gianna] Great.
- [Matilde] Hello, sweetheart.
[doorbell rings persistently]
Who is it?
- [Matilde] Another guest? [laughs]
- No. Excuse me.
- [doorbell rings]
- No, no, no, no.
- Busy night.
- Yes.
I don't think your doorbell's working
very well. I'll fix it for you tomorrow.
[dad] Yes, thank you.
Uh, this is Mario.
- This is my family, and welcome.
- Merry Christmas.
[all] Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
He had an argument with his mother.
Really nice lady.
- Ah, okay.
- Hi, everyone.
- Didi!
- Hi, Didi. Merry Christmas.
- Two more plates!
- [Margherita] I'll get glasses.
Oh, what a lovely table,
with lots of beautiful people. [laughs]
Once, at Christmas, I was on holiday
in Finland with my third husband.
[chuckles] And when dinner finished,
the host stripped off naked,
and five minutes later,
we were all outside
rolling about in the snow, naked!
What a hoot! [laughs]
Oh God!
I won't tell you how it ended because
Yes, maybe not in front of the children.
What's her name?
Uh, Silvietta. She's my brother's wife.
Silvietta, babies are born naked.
[scoffs] They definitely won't be shocked
by a bit of nudity. [chuckles]
True, little ones, eh?
Good. Well, if that's
really all of us? Everyone?
- Hmm, everyone.
- [mum] I'll go and get the roast.
- [dad] Good.
- I'll help you, Mama.
- [Matilde] Time to eat!
- Let's have more wine!
[Didi] Wine! Yes!
- [baby crying]
- [Matilde] What's the matter?
- [Didi] Thank you.
- [Matilde] Merry Christmas, everybody!
[all] Merry Christmas! Cheers!
[Matilde chuckles]
["Bianco Natale Cha Cha Cha"
by The Flippers playing]
This is for you and Papa, from me.
Thank you, Gianna. How nice!
[laughs awkwardly] Thank you, Gianna.
I hope you'll continue
to keep each other warm.
Thank you.
Gianna, what do you say? Shall we get
the panettone Mum made?
- They're lovely.
- [mum] Yes, it is, isn't it?
[Matilde] Not quite sure what that is!
Papa, I'm sorry if
I got really cross with you.
I spoke to Giulio, and he told me
about the whole situation with Mama.
You don't have to apologise.
Maybe that's why I cared so much
about the Nativity scene.
It could have been
my last one here with you.
- I'm sorry.
- [Gianna sighs]
There is no Nativity scene, Papa.
[sombre music playing]
[guests talking and laughing]
Yes, there is.
[indistinct conversations]
[Giulio] I'm so glad you like it.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, no, no, don't look at me.
I've finished with my guests, I swear.
- Wait. So it does work?
- Mario, enough about the doorbell!
[laughs softly]
[light Christmas music playing]
I'm not telling you who it was.
Not today, at least. It's not important.
I mean, actually, it's really important.
He's actually coming to pick me up soon
because we're going to celebrate.
But first, I wanted to show you something.
Look who's come back to us.
Holy cow, it's Christmas already ♪
Rejoice ♪
The bells ♪
The gifts ♪
But I ♪
I just hate it ♪
Santa will heal
All the scars in my soul ♪
And to make me feel better
He'll sing ♪
Merry Christmas.
[man vocalising]
Does it break all the snow? ♪
It makes everything waken ♪
But I will ♪
Just like the snow ♪
Holy cow, my heart is unsteady ♪
It's come undone ♪
So what should I be allowed to forget? ♪
[song ends]
[funky Christmas music playing]
[woman vocalising]
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