I Hate Suzie (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

Shock

(MOVING PIANO MUSIC)
(GIRL SINGS) I'll say this
I miss you more every day
Daylight, it leads me
Back your way
Falling
Into my arms again ♪
(APPLAUSE)
I'll say this
I miss you more
My friend. ♪
(WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
MAN: OK.
How old are you?
MAN: And what did you say
your name was, sweetheart?
Suzie Pickles.
MAN: OK, well, that's the last time
anyone's gonna ask you that, Suzie,
'cause you are gonna be a star.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Fuck off!
-Fucking You're fucking joking.
-WOMAN ON PHONE: No, no, I'm not.
-No, I'm not! No, I'm not!
-They offered it?
Yes! (LAUGHS)
Oh, my God! I'm gonna
be a Disney Princess!
Send me a confirmation email.
Send it to me!
I'm gonna call you back in a sec.
I'm gonna call you back.
(SQUEALS) Oh, sorry, Lorraine.
Sorry, Kate.
Hi, Lorraine! Hi, Lorraine's dog!
It's a beautiful morning!
(LIGHT MUSIC)
Hello, little man!
Mummy is gonna be a princess.
A princess!
Do you want some breakfast?
Good morning, Pete!
Breakfast? Breakfast? Breakfast?
Come on, come on!
-(CHICKENS CLUCK)
-SUZIE: Good morning, girls!
Good morning! Hey.
(LIGHT MUSIC CONTINUES)
(SIGHS) Hey.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Suz,
it's come through officially.
-SUZIE: No way. You're joking.
-Yeah, I just got an email.
Can you forward it to me
just so I can see?
OK, doing it now.
(SUZIE SQUEALS)
-Love you, babe.
-Oh, I love you too.
Never had any doubt.
Oh, don't be weird.
(THEME MUSIC)
(GLASS SMASHES)
(LOW CHATTER ON RADIO)
You're not gonna believe this.
They offered me the Disney gig.
-(LAUGHS)
-Are you kidding?!
-I'm not.
-What?
I thought there was
no way this could happen.
-I know!
-Are you sure?
I mean, is there paperwork?
II thought that you were too old.
I know. Well, apparently
that's the joke, but
-Oh.
-Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
Like, I thought it was all villains
from now on, you know?
-Hello, superstar!
-Wait. Hang on, hang on. Let's not
-(SINGSONGS) Superstar!
-Suz, let's not tell Frank just yet.
Isn't it filming really far away
and, like, incredibly soon?
-(SUZIE CHUCKLES)
-Oh, wow! OK.
Jolly good. Right. Uh, when does it
start shooting, then?
Uh, in about a month.
Oh, come on. Let's celebrate,
let's celebrate.
Where's that bottle of champagne
I got from the TV show?
-Bye-bye, TV!
-Does champagne go off, doesn't it?
Well, we shall find out!
-Yeah, I dunno. Maybe not right now.
-No, no. Come on.
-At 9:00 in the
-So I'm just gonna drink on my own?
Genuinely, I'm fine
at 9:00 in the morning.
-Oh, my gosh! OK.
-Oh! Yay.
Sorry. Oh.
OK, Mummy made a mess.
-What do we think, huh?
-I made a mess.
-When we make a mess
-I'll just clean up.
..we clean up!
I'll do it later. It's fine.
We'll just do it later.
Silly of me.
Silly Mummy!
MAN: It's great, though.
Hey, no, it's great.
Well done. Great job.
-(SIGHS)
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
Oh, my God! That's the cleaner.
The cleaner!
Wait. We've got those people coming.
Why didn't you cancel?
Hi, Claudia. How are you?
I'm fine. How are you?
Yeah.
SUZIE: Oh, yeah, sorry. Shoes.
CLAUDIA: OK.
Cob, can we just generally
get things off surfaces so she can
Isn't everything on a surface?
I thought that was Newton's law
of things and other things.
CLAUDIA: Where's the bleach?
-Thank you!
-(CLAUDIA MUTTERS)
(HUMS)
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
(CONTINUES HUMMING) Oh!
(PHONE BUZZES)
(YAWNS)
Hmm
(HUMS CASUALLY)
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
(QUIRKY MUSIC STOPS)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(UNEASY MUSIC)
(SNUFFLES)
(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)
(EXHALES SHAKILY)
(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
(PLAYFUL MUSIC ON iPAD)
(CHATTER CONTINUES ON TV)
(FRANK PROTESTS)
COB: Suz?
REPORTER ON RADIO: ..about how Boris
Johnson summed up last night's
('MI GENTE' BY J BALVIN
AND WILLY WILLIAM PLAYS)
(J BALVIN SINGS IN SPANISH)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
('MI GENTE' CONTINUES IN DISTANCE)
(PEOPLE CHATTER OUTSIDE)
(TRUCK SIGNAL BEEPS OUTSIDE)
(BREATHES SHAKILY)
-Hey!
-SUZIE: Hiya.
Hey, I'm Dory,
assistant editor at 'Esquire'.
-Yeah, you won't remember but
-WOMAN: Hey.
..I asked you a question
from the audience
on that show 'How Come?',
that kids' show in the noughties?
-Oh, yeah. Um, I remember.
-WOMAN 2: Hi. Sorry.
-MAN: Morning.
-The show, not you. Maybe you.
-WOMAN 3: Excuse me.
-What's your name again?
Dory. Weird to call a kids' show
'How Come?' You wouldn't now.
-Yeah, I love your house.
-Thank you.
I mean, it's a nightmare,
but it's great.
DORY: I haven't been out this far
since I visited my parents.
Oh, this is Clive, photographer.
-SUZIE: Hey.
-This is very, very cool.
-Thank you for this, Suzie.
-Oh, yep.
-Belinda's on costume.
-SUZIE: Uh-huh. Hiya.
-Harry on sound.
-Oh, I thought it was just stills.
Yeah, but, um Yeah, we'll be
doing this vlog thing online.
-I can tell you what to say.
-Yeah.
And we got Brian and Em moving things
about if we need things moved about.
-Christ! Ow!
-MAN: Watch yourself.
And this is
-Morning.
-EM: Barry.
-Barry.
-SUZIE: Hello.
I don't know
what the fuck Barry does.
OK. Oh, wow!
DORY: Yeah, amazing, aren't they?
-Yeah, we emailed about the dogs.
-Well, I don't remember that email.
-Oh, yeah, I want to sayNatalie?
-SUZIE: Naomi.
Naomi said that
that was definitely an option.
-But, yeah, we'll play with it.
-Alright, um
-DORY: Yeah, OK!
-WOMAN: Careful of the walls!
Oh, OK, um
-Does anyone want a cup of tea?
-WOMAN: Oh, yes, please!
-WOMAN 2: Tea! We want some tea.
-MAN: Yeah, lovely.
OK, raise your hands
if you want a tea.
Have you got any 'exspresso'?
Where are the other mugs?!
-(PEOPLE CHATTER)
-(AGITATED MUSIC)
COB: How was
Oh, is glasses a good idea?
Yeah, well,
they can't share, can they?
Oh, fuck.
-Fuck! Uh
-COB: Yeah.
-That's basically what I thought
-Where's the Where's
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God!
Out the way, out the way. Oh!
It's OK.
(DORY SHOUTS IN DISTANCE)
Can everyone listen to me?
-All this furniture out
-OK, there we go.
COB: I just wondered
-Oh, my gosh!
-Whoa! Jesus Christ!
Are you dyspraxic?
-EM: Want me to take those for you?
-No, no, no. They're really hot.
-But you're holding them.
-Yes.
EM: OK.
MAN: 4G isn't working.
Can we get any wi-fi?
-(PEOPLE CHATTER BUSILY)
-(MOBILE RINGS REPEATEDLY)
They just need another plug
Why does Naomi
keep calling you on my phone?
Um, I don't know.
I think there's probably
something wrong with my phone.
-It's been a bit weird.
-Right, you
NAOMI: Suz?
-Listen, something's happened.
-SUZIE: Mm-hm.
You know?
Mm-hm.
-OK, can you not talk?
-Mn-mn.
There's a lot of stuff online saying
you're one of a bunch
of hacked photos going up.
I think they're circulating
on smaller Nazi sites.
Sounds good.
Are you aware of any images of you
and Cob basically beinghaving
Like, of you sucking him off?
Laugh if you are.
(LAUGHS UNNATURALLY) Sort of.
OK, and are they photos
that belong to you?
-Laugh if yes.
-Can I just say yes?
-Yeah.
-Yes.
OK, and what were they on?
Say when I say it. Laptop? iPad?
-Phone? External
-When.
-Sorry, sorry. Which one?
-Phone!
Oh, my gosh. Should I smash it?
Should I smash it?
What? Why? I don't know. Shit!
Maybe. No, no.
OK, I sort of need you
to take control right now.
I'm on my way to the train. I'm gonna
come around, get everyone out.
Don't do that. By the time you
get here, they'll all be finished.
I really have to speak to Cob.
They've announced who it is
in advance,
like it's 'Strictly' or something.
Maybe it's bollocks, but I think
it's a brace-yourself thing.
OK. I've gottaI've gotta go.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
-(EXHALES)
-What's wrong?
What? I don't know. I just
I'm just feeling
a bit, um, not great.
-No, what's wrong with your phone?
-It's doing something weird.
It was making this
really weird sound like
I don't I think
there was something wrong it.
Some upgrade I did or didn't do.
I don't know.
But you might want to, um, look out
for using yours at the moment.
Whatwhat do you want Frank to do
if he doesn't have his iPad?
I don't know, Cob. Pretend
it's like the '40s or something.
Oh, oh, right, OK. Yeah, cool.
I'll just beat him with a switch
and get him evacuated, obviously.
No, look, look! He's playing with
the dogs over there. That's really
Are they safe? Does anyone know
if those dogs are safe?
-Right.
-DORY: Suzie?! Suzie!
OK, we've got lots of things to wear.
We've got a couple of coats.
THIS is the coat.
We have another coat, but this
is the one for dog-matching reasons.
BELINDA: Where do you want to change?
Oh, it's so nice out here, isn't it?
-Is this where you live all the time?
-Yeah.
Pay for it with the low ceilings,
though, don't you?
Still, that's the dream -
place in the country, place in town.
We didn't have a place in town.
I was so pleased to see
you're still doing stuff.
Yeah, I mean, it's
it's a really good show.
It's just, you know,
it's so many shows.
Oh, exactly. That's what I say.
TV's not really my thing. Hi, Chloe!
Just wondering what
we're doing make-up-wise.
Yeah, hair first
and then we were thinking,
like, a Cruella de Vil-y look?
-(HISSES)
-It's quite horror-y, isn't it?
-Sorry, I haven't seen the show.
-That's Don't worry.
-I mean, how can there be so much TV?
-There can't.
You'd have to tell me it's the best,
best, best thing you'd ever seen
and even then I probably
won't watch it.
Right, so you did this look
back in 2000 and I loved it.
Have you got
the wi-fi password, darling?
Oh, hang on.
I've got 3G, so all good.
-Let's have a look.
-(MOUTHS WORDS)
DORY: What? What?
Excuse me.
DORY: What? What, what, what, what?
CHLOE: Hang on. Shh, shh.
-BELINDA: Chloe, what is it?
-I'll show you in a second!
DORY: What? Oh, my God!
(CREW CHATTERS)
(PHONE DINGS)
(CREW CHATTERS AND LAUGHS)
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
Somebody's made a friend.
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
WOMAN: Look at that.
I'm allergic to dogs,
otherwise we'd
No!
Yeah.
Are you alright?
Yeah.
Listen.
(WHISPERS) Do you know?
You've got great skin.
Thanks.
COB: Suzie?
Excuse me.
-(PHONE TRILLS)
-What is going on?
CHLOE: That's you done, darling.
What, sorry?
-Do you know what I'm talking about?
-Um
Yeah. No. I mean,
what are you talking about?
There's been some sort of
hack thing online.
I've had, like, 20 texts from people.
Even my fucking brother's texting me.
Is that what it is?
That's what Naomi
That's what I meant about my phone.
Have you been hacked?
-Oh, my God.
-Well, fuck, what did they get?
You don't even have to think
about it, OK?
-What?
-Don't think about it.
-That's what they want.
-I am somewhat thinking about it.
It's probably just a hoax.
We're just thinking about
the shot at the moment.
We love the fur coat.
We wanna use the coat.
-(PHONE TRILLS)
-But it is real fur.
And your agent said that
It's fine.
-Exactly, 'cause it's vintage. Huh.
-Yeah.
CLIVE: We gotta be prepared
Just!
DORY: OK, over we come. There.
Right, dogs are the last thing we do.
No pre-emptive dogs.
(CREW CHATTERS BUSILY)
DORY: Thank you. Right, out. Thanks.
-Hello, Suzie.
-Hi.
We don't know what
we're looking for right now.
We're just gonna cycle through
some feelings and see where we are.
-OK.
-Yeah?
SONG: Don't look
into the light ♪
CLIVE: We're here, yeah?
You're here with me right now.
Run the other way
Gotta keep your nerve, baby ♪
CLIVE: You've done this before.
Powerful stuff, yeah.
To live another day ♪
CLIVE: Lovely, Suzie, Sorry.
Remarkable, Suzie.
Defiant, Suzie. Yeah, impressive,
Suzie. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
-I'm drifting out of sight ♪
-DORY: Such a great face.
At a thousand miles an hour ♪
CLIVE: Whatever's going on right now,
yeah, no, don't shy away from me.
Go with it. It's really powerful
stuff. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(MUSIC RISES)
(CLIVE CONTINUES GIVING DIRECTIONS)
CLIVE: OK, maybe raise
an eyebrow or something
just to sort of mix it up a bit.
Yep, yep, yep. (CHUCKLES)
Gorgeous.
-Absolutely gorgeous.
-Ah ah
Ah ah ♪
-Yep, straight down the barrel.
-I'm sorry.
-Ah ah ♪
-CLIVE: Ooh, OK.
Ah ah
Ah ah ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
SUZIE: Thank you. Can you
can you just give us a minute?
Yeah.
Thanks.
This is literally
on the internet now.
-Oh, my God.
-You haven't seen this?
Well, Ihave now.
-Where's it from? When is it from?
-I don't know.
I don't know. I don't
Sorry. I'm just
I'm just a bit freaked out.
-What the fuck is going on?
-I don't know! I
Are you sure it's on the
And not just on your phone?
What? Can you get them to go, please?
I Please, I don'tI don't
know what this is. I don't know.
They're only gonna be another
half an hour at the most.
-(STAMMERS)
-All their stuff's here now.
Who gives a shit
that their stuff's here?
-DORY: Suzie?
-Yeah!
-Can we chat?
-Yeah, justjust
-Now, please. Now!
-I don't know!
I really have to go to the
Cob, Cob, I need the loo.
I have to go like that.
I need it like that! Please.
-Oh
-Jesus Christ!
Just the coat,
it's looking quite glamorous.
CLIVE: Yeah, which we don't think
that we wanna do.
We wanna use it,
but we want to undermine it.
So, uh, yeah, Rob's gonna
go get some red paint,
like, fake blood to put on it
and the dogs.
-Can we put paint on the dogs?
-I don't know.
-Probably. You can paint sheep.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-CLIVE: Are you good with that?
-Yeah.
'Cause it's important to me
that anyone that sits for me
in whatever capacity
OK, I'm just I'm so sorry.
I'll be out in a minute.
Sorry. Can I just
-Yeah? Yeah.
-Yes!
(HYPERVENTILATES) Oh, my God
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
(SPLATTERING AND SPLASHING)
(PANTS)
(PEOPLE CHATTER OUTSIDE)
Don't get shit on the coat.
-(TOILET FLUSHES)
-(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Oh, no, no, no! Claudia,
please don't come in here.
-Um, actually, you can go.
-You don't want me to finish?
No, no, no, it's fine.
We'll pay you, but you can go.
-I'd rather finish the job.
-Brilliant, but just not in here.
(SIGHS)
(WHISPERS) Everyone's seeing it now.
I'm being made a fucking a prick of,
aren't I?
-(PHONE TRILLS)
-Yeah, OK.
(CREW CHATTERS)
OK! Everybody out.
We're done here.
I'm sorry, but it is time
for you to leave, OK?
(SILENCE)
You, budget Hemsworth,
I need you to get everyone
the fuck out of my house.
Right. Where is she? Mamma's here.
-Amazing. Christ!
-No, no, just me.
-I'm leaving.
-I've got this. Hey.
Oh, good, you've touched my arm.
Everything's alright now.
Right, I need you guys
to get these people out of my house
or I swear I'm gonna
get my air rifle
-You OK?
-..pick them off one by one.
It's gonna be a fucking
hipster bloodbath in here!
-That feels very aggressive.
-WOMAN: Dory, we need you!
Hiya, I just want to say
they're a bit worried
they might have made a mess
in your kitchen.
-Um
-SUZIE: Oh, my God!
No! Oh, my God, no! I'll do that!
Let me do that. You go.
Come on. You go, you go.
NAOMI: OK, I need everyone
to give Suzie some space
and stop her doing
whatever the fuck she's
God, is that blood?
Babe, babe, get up.
I'm Naomi Jones, Suzie's manager.
-I spoke to someone on the phone.
-DORY: Oh, yeah, me.
-I did say dogs, didn't I?
-OK, can you actually give us a sec?
Yeah, of course.
I just want to say One sec.
I do this thing about women online.
I have a site, Feminazi -
obviously ironic.
-But I actually run it.
-Right.
I am doing this thing about consent
and I would never forgive myself
if I didn't ask you,
with everything going on
What do you want?
Do you want them out?
-I don't know.
-(BOTH SPEAK SIMULTANEOUSLY)
It's just they're here now and I just
don't want to cause any trouble.
(DOGS BARK, PEOPLE CHATTER)
(GROANS)
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
Please don't do that thing where
you act all professional, OK?
I genuinely do not have the energy
to pretend to respect you.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
It's bad enough without you.
I'm sorry the world's seen your dick,
but also fuck off slightly.
You haven't seen
the pictures, have you?
-What, have they just gone up?
-Mm-hm.
Oh, yeah.
(MUSIC RISES)
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(COB EXHALES)
-(DOGS BARK)
-DORY: Let's get the dogs in.
Great. OK, ladies,
you go in for your checks. Amazing.
-WOMAN: Hello, darling.
-WOMAN 2: Come on.
CHLOE: Alright, Clive's
gonna do the blood in post
'cause they just keep licking it off.
Yeah, alright. Yeah.
(LOW CHATTER)
DORY: OK, everyone happy
with final checks?
-CHLOE: She's ready, Dory.
-DORY: Happy?
CLIVE: Alright,
let's get the big one.
(COB SHOUTS) Fuck!
CLIVE: Wow. This is superstar stuff.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
CLIVE: Suzie, this way.
-Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
-Sorry.
Wonderful. Look up. Thank you.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
CHLOE: Is someone at the door?
Cob?!
(CAMERA CLICKS)
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-Right, sorry, I've gotta
-CLIVE: No, please Oh.
-CHLOE: I've got dog!
-I've got a dog!
-Sorry.
CHLOE: Yeah, I'll grab
this and this. Thank you.
-Here you are, my dear.
-WOMAN: Thank you.
(CREW CHATTERS)
Hello Oh, my God.
What have I interrupted?
Hello. What's this?
-Oh, God. Am I in a movie?
-Hello?
He said it was an emergency.
Is the big man around?
Hi, Colin. How you doing?
We'll start with this door, please.
Uh, hang on. Sorry. What's going on?
We're getting
the locks changed, right now.
Uh, no, I don't
I don't think we are.
Oh, no, we are.
Um, no, it's fine. Colin, thank you.
-You can go.
-No.
We really are getting
the locks changed, Suzie.
Do you want to explain to our
good friend Colin why or shall I?
Um, yeah, wewe were burgled.
Yeah, we That's We were just
-Yeah.
-So what's this, then?
Yeah, those guys are just
dusting for prints, Colin.
(COLIN CHUCKLES)
Right, none of my business.
-What was stolen?
-Uh, nothing. Nothing really.
Yeah, we thought we'd been burgled,
but we hadn't actually.
But we do think
they got a copy of the key.
That's what we think they got.
So obviously we need
to change the locks.
-Ah, OK.
-CLIVE: Suzie-floozy?
Wow. That is amazing.
That wasthat was
genuinely beautiful.
-It really is a sight to behold.
-CLIVE: We need to do something.
The dogs are getting
a little bit feral.
Mmm, excuse me.
DORY: Right, wonderful! She's back.
Right, do we need more blood,
do you think? No?
CHLOE: Yeah, no, she looks great.
I'm happy with that.
-DORY: Let's do this. Let's go.
-CLIVE: Straight down, yeah.
Chin down a little bit, please. Yeah.
Fantastic, that. Light's good.
-(DRILL WHIRRS)
-CLIVE: OK.
No, no, no. Seriously?
Can we, um We need to
shoot some video, please.
So we need to cut the sound.
No, can we just do
the fucking photo, alright?
Just get it done.
Just do the fucking photo. Do it!
(DRILL WHIRRS)
(CREW CHATTERS)
-SUZIE: Do you need to
-MAN: Yep.
OK, can someone help her with that
so she doesn't
-WOMAN: Who does this belong to?
-Thank you, thank you.
-WOMAN 2: Yeah, she's here right now.
-Very good.
Please, please, just
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter!
-You good? Thanks.
-Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
Ooh! Can you just watch my walls?
MAN: Oh, shit.
-Is that it?
-WOMAN: Just the last thing.
Yeah, cheers. Thanks.
-Oh, great, fantastic.
-WOMAN: Great.
'Bye. Oh, 'bye, Colin.
-Oh, Cob's got the new keys.
-Yeah, yeah, great.
DORY: Don't you want the guys
to hoof this back in?
It's fine.
Obviously, we're big and strong.
-DORY: Really? OK.
-Yeah, yeah.
-'Bye, then.
-Alright, 'bye.
-Oh, are you keeping the coat?
-Um
-I mean, can I?
-It's fur, though.
-Oh, no, then.
-That'll wash out.
-Well, thenyeah. 'Bye.
-CHLOE: Come here, Dory.
-'Bye.
-'Bye!
(ENGINE STARTS)
-'Bye. (QUIETLY) Fucking go.
-CHLOE: See you later!
DORY: 'Bye!
-(HORN TOOTS)
-'Bye!
-Cob!
-NAOMI: Cob, let her in.
COB: Double-locked!
Cob!
-NAOMI: Cob, let her in!
-(THUDS ON DOOR) Cob!
-What?
-What are you doing?
When? When?!
I don't know!
What are you talking about?
I don't even know
what you're talking about!
Just stop!
Alright, I want Frank, then!
Suz, he's crazy. He's insane.
Letlet's just talk about it,
whatever it is that I
-I don't even know
-Go to the back door!
-NAOMI: Oh, my God! Oh, Cob!
-Cob!
-Cob!
-Give me the key!
-Give me the key. Cob!
-You want it? Take it.
Give me the fucking key! Hey!
Right, I want my fucking phone, then.
-NAOMI: I swear to God
-He has my phone!
Cob, you fucking child!
Give me my son and my fucking phone!
NAOMI: Are you three years old?
Go and look for Mum's phone.
For Mummy's phone upstairs.
Upstairs. Good boy.
NAOMI: Bravo.
So clever. Fucking hell.
Suz? It's not opening.
For fuck sake
-There's no key. Where's the key?
-There?
-There?
-Are they painted shut?
-There?
-No, there's no key.
Oh, fuck's sake, Cob!
Yes! Yes, give it to Mummy.
Give it to Mummy. Good boy.
Good Ooh! Good.
COB: You are very much mistaken.
(NAOMI AND COB CONTINUE BICKERING)
Oh, no.
Charger!
NAOMI: Can I please
just go to my friend?
(NAOMI AND COB CONTINUE BICKERING)
-Thank you!
-Well done!
Thanks.
(SNIFFS)
(BIRDSONG)
Oh
I just need a charger.
I just need
a charger.
Have you got a charger, mate?
You.
Ehh
Got a charger, mate?
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
I hate this. I hate this.
I hate you and I hate you.
I hate this fucking place.
SUZIE: I hate the dark.
I hate the stars.
You shouldn't be able
to see so many stars.
I hate the church.
Alright?
I hate that stranger for
being so rare. I hate the pub.
SUZIE:
It's cheap. It's too cheap.
You know that's suspiciously cheap
for a wine?!
I hate the way people always
leave their doors unlocked.
It's not normal.
Lock your houses. Lock your houses.
These people aren't nice.
They're just already rich.
I hate their distress
at losing PizzaExpress.
I mean, I fucking hate this place.
(LAUGHS)
(MUSIC RISES)
(SINGS) I hate seein'
the stars at night
I miss the smog
and the rising crime
Oh, my
Fuck this life. ♪
(PANTS)
Where am I even going?
(BIRDSONG)
(LOUD VOICES ON TV)
(APPLAUSE ON TV)
NAOMI: He's watching 'Pointless'
aggressively loud.
(SIGHS)
Sorry.
So obviously it's not your
husband'spenis in the photos.
(GROANS)
Your highlights in the shot
are gold, not blonde,
so that's only from
about three months ago.
It's not your bedroom. I know that.
And you just look really happy.
(SWITCH CLICKS)
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC)
SONG: Just across the way
I saw you yesterday
Plugging holes in the day
As the sunshine ran away
Take a walk with me
Tell me your dreams
The things that you believe
That no-one else sees
I'll lose myself to you
Run, run, run, run ♪
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