I Love Lucy (1951) s04e16 Episode Script

Ethel's Home Town

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Listen, where's Fred and Ethel? I want to get going.
Well, Ethel went down to call her father in Albuquerque to tell him that we're arriving late this afternoon.
Hi.
Oh.
Oh, there they are.
Oh, here they are.
Hi, Rick.
I'll go get the car.
Okay.
Well, Ethel, did you talk to your father? For 20 minutes.
Oh, he was so thrilled.
Gee, I haven't talked to Daddy for so long, hearing his voice made me cry.
Hearing the amount of that phone bill's gonna make me cry.
Now, Fred.
Gee, I'm anxious to meet him.
Oh What's he like? Well, let me put it this way.
With him in Albuquerque, I'm surprised they don't have another Indian uprising.
Now, Fred! Fred and Daddy never did see eye to eye.
Daddy didn't want us to get married.
Oh? Fred, he's all over that by now.
He's forgiven us for eloping.
I haven't forgiven him for not stopping us.
Now, listen, smart aleck, you've forgotten that while we're visiting Daddy, the room and the meals will be free.
Oh, on to Albuquerque.
Okay, the car's ready.
FRED: Great.
Long-distance, please.
What are you doing? I'm calling Mother.
But you called her yesterday.
Well, yesterday was a whole day ago.
I want to find out how the baby is.
Operator, would you give me New York City? This is long-distance.
It costs a lot of money to call long-distance.
Yes, dear, I will.
She calls every day like we was in the next-corner drugstore or something.
Hello, Mother.
Hello.
This is Lucy.
Lucy! Lucy Ricardo.
We have a bad connection.
With your mother, it's always a bad connection.
Mother, Mother, this is Lucy, your daughter.
Lucy Ricardo! No, no, dear, no message.
I know she's on her way to California.
This is me! Mother, it's your daughter, Lucille McGillicuddy.
Hello, mother.
How are you? Now that she knows who you are, hang up.
Uh, how's the baby, dear? Oh, I'm fine.
Yeah, well, give the baby my love, will you? And Ricky's love.
Well, all right, Mickey's love.
Yeah, and, uh, Aunt Ethel's love and Uncle Fred's love.
Now that everybody loves everybody, hang up.
All right, all right.
Mother, I have to g Mother? Mother! What happened? Were you cut off? Well, what's going on, honey? This is long-distance.
Well, she went to get the baby so I could tell him myself.
Ay-ay-ay.
Well, I want to hear the baby's voice.
Hello? Hello, darling.
He said "hello"! Good.
You say good-bye.
No, look, see if he'll say "hello" to you.
Hello, son.
He said it! Ethel, Fred, come here! Listen to this! He said "hello"! At these prices, you're going broke.
Oh, never mind that.
He said it clear as a bell.
Little Ricky, say hello to, to Uncle Fred and Aunt Ethel now.
Say hello.
Hello, Ricky.
Hi, Ricky.
LITTLE RICKY: Hello.
He said it! Yeah, I heard it! You hear him? Yeah.
How do you like that? What a kid.
What a conversationalist.
Only two years old, he's talking halfway across country.
Halfway across country! Good-bye, son! Come on, now.
Let's hit the road, huh? On to Albuquerque.
Come on, let's go.
I'll take that big case.
(doorbell buzzing insistently) (knocking at door) Ah! Oh! Daddy, oh! My little Ethel Mae! I'm so glad to see you! I can't believe it's you! I thought we'd never get here.
My, my, you're a sight for sore eyes.
Oh Daddy you remember Fred.
Huh? Oh, yeah.
Hiya, curly.
And, uh, these are my best friends, the Ricardos.
How do you do, Mr.
Potter? How do you do? You must be Lucy.
Now, there's a shrewd piece of deduction.
And Ricky! Yes, sir.
?Como esa? ?Como esta? Very good.
Oh, I've heard a lot about you.
Really? Yes.
Well Thank you.
Well, let's all sit down, get the load off our feet.
Okay, sure.
You sit there, Fred.
You sit anyplace you want to and you sit right by me.
All right, honey.
Oh, I thought we'd never get here from Amarillo.
Oh, it's been such a long day.
Ethel, is this you? Yep.
That's my baby when she was the flower of Albuquerque-- the most popular girl in town.
Why, they even elected her Miss Albuquerque of 19 Daddy.
Huh? She was pretty popular, huh, Mr.
Potter? Popular? Ha! She was so popular, the boys used to buzz around her like bees around honey.
(Lucy laughing) She could have had her pick of any fella in town.
And when I stop to think how she Oh, what's the use of going back? Well, how come, with all the bees around her, I was the one that get stung? Stung? Now, look here, you Daddy, Daddy Fred, please don't.
.
Mr.
Potter, uh, uh, this is the first time that we've been around this part of the country, you know.
Yes.
We've never been down-- even around Albuquerque at all.
Really? Yeah.
You know very well she was popular.
Why, she could have married the best of them.
There was that Deke, Deke What's his name? Deke Arledge.
Yeah, and Hank Spear and Bill Hackett.
Oh, say, he's the editor of the paper now.
He is?! Oh, I almost forgot.
He's coming over.
He'll be here in a few minutes.
Billy Hackett? Yeah, Billy Hackett.
Oh Yes, sir.
When I told him that you were coming through town with the Ricardos, nothing would do but that he'd come over and get an interview.
(laughing): Really? Yeah.
Oh, the whole town's in an uproar over this visit.
Is that so? I even got so excited, I didn't go to the store this morning.
I run a little sweetshop and soda fountain.
Yeah, our slogan is, "You can lick our cones, but you can't beat our sodas.
" (all guffawing) Yeah, it isn't every day when we get a celebrity that comes to our town.
(chuckling): Oh, well I hope that they're not gonna make, uh, too much of a fuss about it.
I hope they don't go overboard.
Yeah.
POTTER: Oh, yes, they but they're all going all out.
Oh, they, Really? they're going all out.
How about that? Sure.
They even wanted to know if you'd put on a show.
A show?! Sure.
How about it, Ricky? Oh, that would be fun.
Let's do it.
All right.
Ha, ha, ha! I already told them you would.
(laughing) It's all set up for tomorrow night.
Oh.
Oh, you ought to see the marquee on the little theater.
You haven't any idea what it says.
What does it say? "Ethel Mae Potter: We never forgot her.
" "Ethel Mae Potter"? That's, uh that's all it says? Yeah.
Why? Oh, nothing.
It's just, you know, when you said, uh, "celebrity," you know, I figured that maybe Oh, well, Ethel Mae is very big here in Albuquerque.
She's big everywhere.
Now, Daddy, you're exaggerating.
Why, I haven't done anything to speak of since I was in vaudeville.
Oh, yeah? Well, how come you're on your way to Hollywood to star in a movie? Uh Star in a movie? Uh, Daddy, you misunderstood.
Ricky's going to be in the picture.
Oh, you're gonna be in it, too? Well, I wouldn't exactly put it that way.
Aw, now, don't you worry.
If Ethel says that you're gonna be in her picture, you're gonna be in her picture.
That's nice.
Oh, Daddy, you got it all wrong.
Well, that's what you wrote.
No, what I meant was, Ricky is the star.
I'm just a oh, a There's my daughter for you: modesty personified.
She hasn't changed a bit.
No, sir, she always was a shrinking violet.
(coughs) Now, honey, never mind the false modesty.
Go ahead, tell us about your picture.
Yeah, Ethel, tell us about your picture.
Yeah.
Um If Billy Hackett's coming over, I want to freshen up just a little.
I'll fix my hair up a little Uh Oh, Ethel Mae, take your old room.
We haven't touched it since you left.
It must be a nice dusty mess by now.
Say, if you folks will just make yourselves at home I'm going to run to the candy store and tell everybody how wonderful Ethel Mae looks.
Okay.
(door closes) Hmm.
Ethel Mae's picture.
How do you like that? Oh, come now, what difference does it make if her father thinks it's her picture? Why, she didn't even try to deny it.
Well, she didn't want to make her father look bad.
Why not? Everybody knows he's full of baloney.
Oh, come on now.
Promise me one thing.
When the man from the newspaper gets here to interview you, you make Ethel look good.
You tell him that she's gonna be in the picture, too.
Well (doorbell buzzing) There he is.
Now, remember, mention Ethel as much as you can.
All right.
And, honey, when he takes your picture, you insist that Ethel be in it, too.
Okay, dear.
Okay.
Hello.
Hello.
I'm Billy Hackett of the Chronicle.
How do you do? I'm Lucy Ricardo.
How do you do? This is Ricky Ricardo and Fred Mertz.
How do you do? How are you? Well, I've wanted to know you for a long time.
Thank you.
Yes, sir, I've always wanted to shake the hand of the man who married Ethel Mae.
Well, you, uh you got the wrong fella.
That's him over there.
Oh, you're the winner! Yeah, I'm the winner.
And you're Ricky Ricardo! That's right.
Well, I've got a lot of questions I want to ask you.
Oh, certainly.
Sit down.
Anything you want to know.
All right.
How long have you known Ethel Mae? Well, now, let me see, um ETHEL: Billy Hackett! Ethel Mae! Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Oh, this is wonderful.
My daddy told me you were coming over.
Oh, it's been so long.
Ethel Mae, you were never prettier.
I can't argue with that.
I'd like to get a few pictures.
Oh, fine.
Would you stand right over there? Right over there where, uh, Mr.
Ricardo is.
Yes.
Get a nice informal shot of you.
Now, just relax there and let me have a little Mr.
Ricardo, would you mind moving just a little bit to your right, please? Sure.
BILLY: Yeah.
Thank you.
Now, sm I'm sorry, Mr.
Ricardo, but you're still in the picture.
All right, now smile.
Got it! Oh, good.
Hey, how about getting that group of us? I've always wanted a good picture of all of us together.
Oh, that's fine.
Right here.
Here? Everybody gather around Ethel Mae, huh? You just stand where Billy tells you to.
Now, just get Put your arms around her.
Get all close together, you know.
You fix 'em.
Very informal.
Right around me.
Put your arms around Ethel Mae, please.
Right there.
Thank you very much.
There we are.
Now (shutters clicking) BILLY: Got it! Oh, that ought to be a good one.
Now, for the big story.
Sit down, Ethel Mae.
Local girl makes good.
Ethel Mae Potter reaches stardom in Hollywood.
Now, I want to know the story, the human story in back of this.
How did you get there? How did it happen? Uh, was it a tough road and was it worth it? Now, those are the things that your friends from Albuquerque are waiting to hear.
Yeah, your friends from New York are waiting to hear it, too.
Yeah.
Well, tell me, Ethel Mae, and I'll put your story on the front page tomorrow.
Um Go ahead, Ethel Mae, tell him your story.
FRED: Yeah.
Well, uh Oh Um "My Story," by Ethel Mae Potter.
You people who remain here in this lovely, quiet, peaceful town of Albuquerque leading your dreary, uneventful lives, little do you know the heartache, the heartbreak, the hard work, the frustration that I went through to get where I am today.
(coughing) When I was a small tot playing around the yard of the Albuquerque Grammar School, little did I know that I was destined to become the star of three continents.
That's wonderful! And it gives me a great idea.
I am gonna make a series of pictures of you all over town.
We'll take them in the, in the schoolyard where you once played and one in back of the counter of your, of your father's sweetshop Oh, that's wonderful.
And then we'll top it off with a, with a big close-up shot of the little theater marquee.
Oh, that'll just be great! Well, come on, let's do it! Right now? Why, certainly.
Oh, fine.
(laughing) See you later, dears.
Isn't she something? I think she's blown her top.
What do you suppose got into her? I don't know, but somewhere along the line, shrinking violet got sanforized.
Why, she's raving mad.
We'd better get out of this joint before she starts foaming at the mouth and bites somebody.
Yeah, we'll leave tomorrow night right after the show.
You mean we're still gonna do the show? You're darn right we're gonna the show.
I'm not gonna leave this town with everybody thinking that I'm Ethel Mae's chauffeur.
Now, I tell you what we're gonna do What? I'll do an opening number, and then you do something.
Then I'll sing "Babalu," then you do something.
Then I'll sing "Grenada," then you and Fred (playing "Chopsticks") Hey, Liberace.
Where is Ethel? I want to start rehearsing.
Oh, she went out with the mayor to cut the tape on a new road into the Indian Reservation.
Ay-ay-ay.
LUCY: Ricky! Yeah, honey? Fred! Yeah? Listen to this.
What? "Glamorous star visits here on way to film capital.
" Well, what did you expect after yesterday's interview? I'll bet she doesn't even mention us.
Oh, yes, she does.
"Ethel Mae Potter who has been called to Hollywood to star "in a wide-screen color spectacle is motoring to the coast with friends.
" That's us.
How do you like that? Oh, that's nothing.
Try this on for size.
"This evening Miss Potter will appear at the little theater in a solo recital of songs and readings.
" Solo?! Boy, she's really flipped.
Yeah, well, there's more.
Remember the picture taken of all of us, the one with our arms around Ethel? Yeah.
Hello.
We were cut out! Yeah.
Either that, or Ethel's grown five more hands.
ETHEL: see you tonight at the show! Oh, here comes our shrinking violet now.
Yeah, the little shrinker.
How.
(bass notes sounding) They made her an Indian chief.
What's your name, Big Chief Hog-It-All? What do you mean? "What do you mean?" We read the paper, dear.
Wasn't that write-up a lulu? And what a lulu.
Yeah.
I especially liked the picture: "Ethel and her trained hands.
" Yeah, thanks a lot for mentioning my name.
Now, just a minute.
I can't help what Billy Hackett put in the paper.
Freedom of the press, you know.
Freedom of the press, yes, but there wasn't a word of truth in it.
I beg your pardon.
There might have been a slight exaggeration here and there.
Oh, Ethel! Ethel, what's come over you? "Solo performance.
" Are you crazy or something? Now, I can explain.
Everybody wanted me to do something special-- something that I became famous for.
So, what with one thing and another, (ostentatiously): there just wasn't room for all of you.
(mimicking Ethel) You know, you might have insisted that we be in the show.
Yes, I might have but I didn't want to.
That's it! All right, come on.
We're leaving for California right now.
That suits me.
Now, just a minute! I can't leave now.
Oh, that's right.
You have a show to do, haven't you? Well, we'll see you on the coast.
Yeah.
How do I get out there? Well, call your studio.
Maybe they'll send a special train for a big star like you.
Oh, I think you're all horrid! Now, just a second, folks.
I'm sorry if Ethel Mae is so popular, there's no room for you, but, gosh, there must be something we can figure out you can do.
Yeah, maybe we could be ushers in the theater.
Maybe we can put on aprons and sell your candy in the lobby.
Say Oh, no.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I think we should stay.
What?! What?! Well, now, after all, this is Ethel's hometown, and we should help her make a good impression.
Now, just a minute.
What's the matter We'll stay, Ethel, and when you're on that stage tonight, remember, you've got us right behind you.
Well, now, that's very nice of you.
Thanks, Lucy.
Yeah, thanks.
Ethel Mae, get up and change your clothes.
We've got to go over to the sweetshop.
I'm naming a sundae after her.
Yeah, well What's the matter with you? Have you lost your mind? What did you want to say that for? Now, fellas, I just got to thinking about our dear Ethel Mae.
Now, You know, it's very hard to carry a whole show all by yourself even if you're as big a star as she is.
She really needs somebody to back her up, and that's where we come in.
We'll be right behind her, on the stage.
(applause) Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, you don't know what a thrill it is for me to be on this stage tonight-- this stage where I got my start-- and I want you all to know that no matter how famous I become, I will never forget you or Albuquerque.
(sniffling) But enough of the sentiment.
On with the show.
For my first number tonight, I have chosen a number that all of you love to hear me sing.
I had many requests for your favorite and mine: "Short'nin' Bread.
" (lilting piano intro playing) Put on the skillet Put on the lid Mammy's gonna make a little short'nin' bread That ain't all she's gonna do Mammy's gonna make a little coffee, too Mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread Mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread Two little babies lyin' in bed Two of 'em sick and the other 'most dead Sent for the doctor The doctor said Feed those babies on short'nin' bread Oh, mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread Mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread I slipped to the kitchen I slipped up the lid I slipped to the kitchen for short'nin' bread I stole the skillet I stole the lid I stole the gal that makes the short'nin' bread Oh, mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread Mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread They caught me with the skillet They caught me with the lid They caught me with the gal makin' short'nin' bread Mammy's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves short'nin' bread Mammy's little baby Loves short'nin', short'nin' Mammy's little baby loves Short'nin' bread.
(applause) Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(applause continuing) Would you like for me to sing another song? (applause) Oh! Thank you.
I'll be very happy to.
Now, I think we should have a change of pace, don't you? So, I'd like to sing an operatic song that I used to do: "My Hero," from The Chocolate Soldier.
(slow piano intro playing) Come, come I love you only My heart is true Come, come, my life is lonely I long for you (audience laughing) Come, come (singing muffled by laughter) Look at me face you My arms are aching (raucous laughter) Long to embrace you My heart is thine Come, come, I love you only My hero (audience laughing) (off-key): Come Come I love you only My (screeching): Hero.
(applause) Ethel Mae! Ethel Mae, you were wonderful.
And that comedy routine is sensational.
Ethel Mae, that's the funniest show I've ever seen on or off Broadway.
I want to get a picture.
Lucy, Fred, Ricky, come on out here! I want to get a picture.
Get the stool, will you? Ricky, you stand in the middle.
You here.
Just a little bit over here, honey.
That's it.
That's it.
That's fine.
Now let me see.
Here, give me the stool.
See if that looks all right.
Yes, that's fine.
Now come on.
You sit down here, right in the middle.
That's it.
That's the picture I want.
Ethel Mae Potter and Company.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) ANNOUNCER: Mr.
Potter was played by Irving Bacon and Bill Hackett was played by Chick Chandler.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.