I Love Lucy (1951) s04e19 Episode Script

Lucy Gets in Pictures

("I love Lucy" theme song playing) Honey, I'm going downstairs to get the New York papers.
Can I get you anything? Oh, will you mail my postcards for me? Are you still writing postcards? You must have written a hundred of those since we got out here.
Well, I want to share our trip with everybody.
We're having so much fun, I want our friends in New York to have sort of a secondhand thrill.
Well, that's nice, dear.
Uh, honey? Yeah? Do you feel all right? Sure.
Why? Come here.
Let me look at you.
I'm afraid maybe you're getting a cold.
Stick out your tongue.
What's the big idea? Well, I've stamped so many cards, I'm all out of lick.
Here you are.
Now, remember, don't read them.
Why not? Because it's not nice to read other people's postcards.
Well, you and Ethel do it at home all the time.
Not until after they're mailed.
It's illegal to read them before they're postmarked.
Oh, I see.
All right, I won't read them.
The rules you two have.
What? What do you mean by writing this to Lillian Appleby? You read them.
Yes, and it's a good thing I did.
What do you mean telling Lillian Appleby that you're going to be in a movie? I can't get over it.
You stood right here and said you wouldn't read them.
Honestly, you just don't know who you can trust anymore.
For heaven's sake, a man who will read a postcard after he said he won't will do anything.
Never mind all that.
I want to know all about this movie you're gonna be in.
I refuse to discuss anything with a sneak.
A snick? All right, a snick.
Why did you told Lillian Appleby that you were going to be in a movie? Because I had to told her.
Or she'd be mad if I told Marian Strong first.
Did you tell all these people that you were going to be in a movie? No.
I didn't mention it to little Ricky.
I don't understand it.
I don't see how you can say something that is not true.
How do you know it isn't true? It's true until it's untrue.
After all, Hollywood's looking for new faces.
Well, your face is not new.
It is to them.
They've never seen it before.
Well, it finally happened.
Ever since we've been out in Hollywood, I've been waiting for you to try to get into the movies.
What took you so long? I was lulling you into a false sense of security.
Well, now that you brought the subject up, let me tell you something.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Is this gonna be the one about how I'm a wife and mother and my place is in the home? No.
Is it about one member of the family in show business being enough? No.
Oh, well, don't tell me you're gonna use that ridiculous one about my not having any talent.
Oh, you have a new one? Well, go ahead.
Here you are.
Here you are in pretty, sunny California.
Hundreds of people all over the world would give their right arm just for the opportunity to visit here.
And what do you want to do? You want to go to a studio and work from morning till night six days a week.
Well, I It's a beautiful climate.
There's hundreds of things to do.
Hundreds of places to go.
You got your best pals, the Mertzes, here with you to go wherever you want to go.
You got a brand-new, beautiful Pontiac to take you there.
This could be one of the most wonderful and exciting experiences of your whole life.
Well, gee, I But what do you want to do? You want to go to work.
I wished you'd used the one about my not having any talent.
This one's tough to fight.
Why, sure, honey.
Why don't you forget all about being in the movies and have fun, enjoy yourself? Well Ethel and I did want to go to Catalina next week.
Sure! And maybe Pismo Beach.
Yes? And then there's always Palm Springs.
Palm springs! Even the president vacations there.
That's true.
(knock at door) RICKY: Hi.
Come in.
LUCY: Hey.
Are we gonna have fun? I was just planning some big trips for us.
I'm afraid they'll have to wait a while.
Why? Tell them, Ethel.
Well, we were just down in the coffee shop and we ran into a fella who used to be in vaudeville with us, Jimmy O'Connor.
And he's a producer at your studio now, Ricky, and guess what.
What? He gave us parts in his new picture.
FRED: And we start tomorrow.
Isn't that exciting?! That's great! Whee.
What's the matter with you? I thought you'd be happy for us.
I am.
Well, you don't sound happy.
Now, look, honey, this won't change anything.
The Mertzes would probably only be in the picture a day or two.
Oh, no.
It's for two whole weeks.
ETHEL: What's the matter with her? Well, just before you came in, I talked her out of wanting to get into the movies and convinced her that she could have a lot more fun just taking trips with you two.
Oh, dear.
Oh, now, don't you worry.
Lucy, we'll take lots of trips together.
Just as soon as we wrap up our picture commitments.
Oh, sure.
We'll still want to see those places.
Well, we got to go over to wardrobe and get fitted for our costumes.
Hey, listen, I got to go over to the studio, too.
I'll drop you off.
Oh, fine.
Aw, honey, don't be blue.
Come on.
See you later, huh? Well, see you later.
So long, Lucy.
Bye, dear.
ETHEL: Imagine us in the movies.
(knock at door) Come in.
Hi, Mrs.
Oh, hello, Bobby.
I brought up your cleaning.
Would you hang it in the bedroom for me, please? Yes, ma'am.
Enjoying your stay in Hollywood? Yech.
Hey, you, uh, you got the red eight on the red nine.
I thought it might spice up the game if I cheated a little.
Uh, Mrs.
Ricardo, you won't be seeing me for a few days.
Oh, you going on a trip? No, I got a part in a picture.
You have? Yeah.
Remember last time I was only a stooge? Uh-huh.
This time I got a line to read.
A whole line! Yeah.
Oh, it's a very dramatic scene.
See, I play a hospital orderly.
Now, this woman comes rushing in.
Her hair is messed up 'cause she's very upset 'cause her husband's been in an accident.
Now, she sees me and she says, "What room is my husband in?" Then I say, "423.
" (sobbing) Sort of gets you right here, doesn't it? (sobbing louder) Boy, I got more talent than I thought.
No, you don't understand, Bobby.
You see, my husband is starring in a picture, and today my best friends, the Mertzes, told me that they got parts in a picture and now you tell me you got a part.
I just feel left out.
I feel like an ugly duckling.
Well, that's ridiculous! You're prettier than any of us.
And talented, too! Oh, can-can you act? Can I act? Can I act?! What room is my husband in? Thank you! See? Hey, you're great.
Yeah, well, thanks a lot.
I'm afraid my light's always gonna be hidden under a bushel.
What about your husband? Can he help you get in pictures? You mean, Ricky Ricardo, the Cuban bushel? Well, you'll just have to go out and let somebody else discover you.
How? Oh, a lot of people get discovered.
Why, there was there was Champ Butler.
He was discovered parking cars.
And then there was Dorothy Lamour.
She was discovered running an elevator.
And then there was Lana Turner.
She was discovered at a soda fountain, sitting on a stool.
Well, I don't think I'd be very good at parking cars, and elevators make me dizzy, but I do know how to sit.
Well, great.
Why don't you give it a whirl? What soda fountain was it? The one at Schwab's Drugstore up on Sunset Boulevard.
Schwab's? Schwab's.
Thanks a lot.
(knock at door) Come in.
Oh, hi! How did everything go? Oh, Ricky, it was just wonderful.
We got the cutest gay '90s costumes you ever saw.
The funniest thing happened in Wardrobe.
Oh, now, Fred, I didn't think that was very funny.
It was pretty funny.
What happened, Fred? Well, we had tried on our costumes and were all rest up in our own clothes ready to leave.
Now, Fred.
And the head of Wardrobe accused Ethel of trying to sneak out with one of his bustles.
(guffawing) Oh, that's very funny.
(laughing harder) How's Lucy? I don't know.
She wasn't home when I got here, and I'm beginning to worry about her a little bit, you know.
She was so blue when I left.
Oh, she's probably just gone sightseeing.
Oh, here she is.
Oh, here she is.
Hi, Lucy.
Hiya, honey.
Where you been? I was beginning to worry about you.
Well, I've been out not getting in the movies.
What are you talking about? Well, after you three abandoned me today, I went and sat in Schwab's Drugstore so I could be discovered like Lana Turner.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I sat there all afternoon.
Well, what happened? You look kind of funny.
Yeah, well, you'd look kind of funny, too, if you'd just had three chocolate malts, two hot fudge sundaes, a pineapple soda and a banana split.
You ate all that? I had to.
It was the only way I could keep my place at the counter.
They have a rule: "No eat, no seat.
" Aw and nobody did any discovering? Well, only me.
About an hour ago, I discovered I was getting green.
Well, at least she's not blue anymore.
Oh, Fred.
Oh, dear.
Why don't I give up? The only way I'll ever get in the movies is to buy a ticket.
Oh, now, honey.
I just can't go back to New York and face my friends.
As soon as I get to feeling a little better, I'm gonna kill myself.
Now, look, don't you talk like that.
Listen, if it means that much to you, well, maybe there's something that I can do.
What? Well, if you just want to say that you were in a picture, maybe I can call one of the directors at Metro-- I got a couple friends in there-- and see if they can give you a little part or something, you know.
Ricky, would you? Well, I can't promise you anything, but I can try.
Oh, thank you, honey.
I'll call tomorrow morning and see what they say.
Thank you.
Hey, Frank.
Oh, hi, Ricky.
Where's your wife? Oh, she's just coming out of Wardrobe.
She'll be here in a minute.
She is so excited about doing this part in this picture, you wouldn't believe it, and when she found out that she gets to die in the scene, she almost did.
Oh, well, it really isn't anything.
Well, she thinks she's playing Camille.
She's been practicing how to die all day long.
(chuckling) RICKY: Oh, here she is.
Come over here, honey.
Come on, I want you to meet your director.
Frank, this is my wife, Lucy.
Frank Williams, the director.
How do you do? How do you do, Mrs.
Ricardo? How do you do? I'm glad to have you with us.
Well, thank you.
It certainly is nice to be here.
I sure hope I do a good job for you, sir.
Oh, I'm sure you will.
Now, here's what I'd like you to do.
You're the star of this nightclub sequence.
The star? Now, as our scene opens, you're discovered at the top of the steps with these four girls.
On the cue music, you come about halfway down, a shot rings out, you clutch your heart and you drop.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, I'm pretty excited, but I'm sure I can do it.
That's how simple, honey, huh? Yeah.
You can handle that.
I'm sure I can.
Now, just be calm, and good luck to you.
Okay, dear, bye.
I got a date with Mr.
Minnelli, so I got to go.
See you later.
Good-bye, honey.
See you, Frank.
Don't worry, now.
You'll be all right.
Uh, Nick Nick, would you get that headdress on her, please? Oh, boys, no! That spot-- no.
I don't want that there.
NICK: Here you are, Mrs.
Is that for me? Uh-huh.
I'm afraid it's kind of heavy.
Oh, well, that's all right.
I'll be able to manage it.
Can I let go now? Yeah, that's all right.
Thank you.
Well, just a minute.
Just a minute.
Oh, dear.
Yeah, well.
All right now? There we are.
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Have you ever worn one of these before? Well, no, sir, but I-I'm sure that I can handle it.
It's quite a trick.
It's just getting used to balancing it.
How's that? Just getting used to balancing it.
Oh, yes, I'll be able to! Thanks.
All right.
All right, places, girls! Get into positions! FRANK: Line up at the top of the steps, please.
Ricardo, would you like What? Take your position at the top of the steps, please, Mrs.
Oh yes, sir! Thank you.
Don't go up too far.
That's it.
Now, Would you mind turning around, please, coming towards the center? A little more to your A little more to your left, please.
Your left.
Your left, Mrs.
That's it.
Thank you very much.
Now, would you tilt your head a little bit? How's that? Tilt your head a little bit, please.
That's fine, that's fine.
Yes, that way.
Now, would you drop your arms very grace gracefully.
That's it.
Kind of put your foot out a little bit, like on your toe Fine.
Do you feel comfortable? No, sir-- yes, sir.
That's it.
Now smile, everybody.
All right.
Hit the music, Harry.
(piano playing "A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody") Mrs.
Ricardo, what seems to be the trouble? Well, sir, the headdress was just a little heavy and it sort of tilted forward.
I'm-I'm sorry, sir.
I'll be able to manage it.
Well, I-I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
Perhaps I'd better give it to a bigger girl.
Oh, no, sir.
I'm big enough.
Thank you.
I can do it.
All right, all right, let's try it once again.
Now let's rehearse it this time.
All right, fine.
Now, that's it.
Now, same positions now.
Remember, smile.
The hands see? That's right.
Tilt the head a little bit, girls.
Lots of life.
All right, music.
(piano playing "A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody") It's all right.
Ricardo! Now, what seems to be the problem? Well, my train is caught, sir.
It's a nail.
I'll get it.
Yes, sir.
There, that's clear.
All right.
Here we are.
You know, I I'm afraid perhaps this headdress is a little too much for you.
Oh, no, sir, no, sir.
Now, Mr.
Williams, my train just got caught.
That could happen to anyone, sir.
Well, I-I'd feel much better if it was handled by a girl who could really handle it.
Oh, I can, I can handle it, sir.
I'm sure I can.
Annette, would you kindly switch headdresses, please? Oh, no, sir, Mr.
Williams! Mr.
Williams! Yes? Isn't the girl who wears that the one who gets killed? Yes, that's right.
Would you put this on, please? Well, I I don't really think that that's very fair, Mr.
I I didn't really get a chance, you know.
Williams All right, all right, now, look, now you take Mrs.
Ricardo's place in the center.
You'll be the lead girl now.
Thank you.
Ricardo, would you mind standing over there by the rail? Thank you very much.
You're doing very well.
Very well, very well.
Now let's have a nice walk- through this time, girls.
No stops, like go all the way through, right up by the rail, please.
Thank you.
I'd like to try another run-through now, only this time I'd like you to come down the stairs a little faster.
(piano playing "A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody") Ah! Mrs.
Ricardo, just what do you think you're doing? Well, you said you wanted us to come down a little faster.
I'm sorry I tripped on my train.
It was sort of a train trip.
You like to try it once more, please? Mr.
Williams, are you sure you don't want me to be the girl who gets killed? Please, Mrs.
Wouldn't you like to see me die? Don't tempt me.
Well, I-I certainly wish I could be the girl who dies, Mr.
Williams, because it means so much to me, you know.
I Mrs.
Ricardo I have rehearsed it a lot.
I know what Mrs.
Ricardo I'm sure that if you could see me do it, Mrs.
Ricardo you'd appreciate that I'd probably do it better than any of the girls.
Would you please let me get a word in edgewise? Yes, sir.
I just felt that you should know how I feel about it, you know.
Yes, I certainly do.
Ricardo, would you please get up to the top of the stairs there? We'll try it once more.
Just once more, please.
I'd like to rehearse it.
Thank you very much.
You're doing very, very well.
Doing beautifully.
Uh, could we hurry it a little? You see, we're a little behind on schedule.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Are we all set now? All right, remember, girls, now, smile.
Smile pretty.
That's it.
(piano playing "A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody") (gunshot) Mrs.
Ricardo, just just what do you think you're doing? That shot was supposed to be for the other girl.
Well, he missed.
Look, Mrs.
Ricardo, you just don't seem to understand.
You see, I-I-I'm the director on this picture.
Yes, sir, I know that.
See, I make all the decisions.
I say what happens on this set.
I understand that, sir.
You understand that.
You know, one more thing like this, and you won't be in this picture at all.
Oh, well, look, Mr.
Williams, I-I just feel that I just have to be the girl who dies.
You see, you don't understand.
I-I couldn't go back to New York and face my friends.
I've told them that I'm going to be in a picture, and I, and I can't just let it be walk-on-and-off, you know.
This is my big chance.
Yeah, so I understand.
Yeah, well, you see, all right, Mrs.
I've told them for months and months and months, you know, and I Yes, Mrs.
Ricardo and then when I got this, I figured it was going to be a really big thing, you know.
I really understand-- believe me, I feel for you-- but you've got to understand my situation, too.
Well, you know how friends back home are, you know.
Oh, yes, I know how friends are, but, you see, I have a problem, too.
I know, but the problem is I'd like to get this picture done before the end of this year.
I understand that.
Thank you.
I understand that.
So, you can be the girl who dies.
Oh! Oh, thank you, sir.
Thank you.
I'd like that headdress, please.
Oh, hold it! No, no, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I-I-I've got an entirely new concept for this scene.
Much more dramatic.
Oh? Yes.
You are going to be discovered dead as the scene opens.
I'm already dead? Already dead.
Oh, uh, but Oh, no, no, no, no-- no buts.
You just lie down here, Mrs.
Just lie down.
Thank you very much.
Just lie down.
Uh face down.
Face down?! Face down.
But Mr.
Williams, I've seen lots of pictures, and when people die, they don't usually die face down.
They die face up into the camera.
Okay, okay, we'll do it another way.
Oh, thank you.
Uh, boys, will you bring in the stretcher, please? This will work very, very well.
It's very dramatic, too.
Would you lie down on the stretcher, please? Thank you very much.
Face up? Face up.
Yes, sir.
All set? All set.
There we are.
All right, now, girls, as we start this scene now Mr.
Williams how will my friends know it's me? Your feet will be showing.
Oh, swell.
All right, now, boys, will you change the setup now? I'll be right back.
And, girls, I'd like Where are you going now? I'm going to powder my feet.
All right, girls, will you gather round here, please? In this setup here Hi! Oh, hi, Ricky.
How's Lucy? Oh, she's fine.
I'm a nervous wreck.
What happened? Something went wrong? Oh, no, no, no, everything's fine.
Oh, good.
Okay, sir, we're ready to go.
Are the attendants ready? Yes, sir.
All right, well, where's the dead woman? LUCY: Here I am.
Oh, Mrs.
Would you excuse me a moment, Ricky? Sure.
We'll get on with this scene.
Will you just lie down here, please? Yes.
Thank you very much.
Pick up the sheet, please.
I'll just put your dress up here nicely.
There we are.
All right, there.
Could you cover her? Oh, that's beautiful.
Now, remember, this is a very dramatic scene.
You're very sad.
You're very upset.
Lots of emotion.
Let's get this scene done this time.
Not a word from anyone.
Ready? Roll 'em.
FRANK: Action! (all sobbing) Cut! Print it! Thanks! That's beautiful! All right, boys, you can take it away now.
Oh, girls, that was just wonderful.
Just wonderful.
Just wonderful.
Lucy, what happened? Nothing.
Well, that's not the way that they explained the scene to me, nobody will know who you are.
Oh, well, I'm not too unhappy.
That's show business, you know, darling.
I'm sorry, Ricky, but Well, that's all right.
At least you got in the picture.
That's right.
Excuse me, sir, but, uh What? Mrs.
Ricardo Yeah, well, let's go, Ricky.
May I see your feet, please? Certainly.
You know what I mean.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) ANNOUNCER: The director was Lou Krugman, the bellboy was Bobby Jellison, Dick was Louie Nicoletti and the showgirl was Onna Conners.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.