I Love Lucy (1951) s04e24 Episode Script

Hollywood Anniversary

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Oh! You won another game.
You're certainly hot tonight.
Ah, it's just the cards, you know.
Come on, Lucy.
Hey, what are you doing out there? Oh, I'm just enjoying this sensational California weather.
Imagine a night like this at this time of year.
If we were back home where it's cold, do you know what we'd be doing right now? Yeah, pounding on the pipes for you to give us more heat.
Baloney.
I mean, if we were back in New York, we'd be out shoveling snow.
You mean I'd be out shoveling snow.
Oh, now, honey, but I only let you shovel the snow because I had to keep an eye on the furnace.
Yeah, to be sure that nobody put any coal in it.
To hear you talk, you'd think I Oh, all right now, you two.
I don't want to start anything.
I just want to make sure that we all appreciate California while we're here.
Yeah.
Hey, Ethel, you know something? What? We're gonna get to celebrate our wedding anniversary in California.
What's the matter, Ricky? Th-The cards are very slippery.
Th-They get out of your hands.
It's hard to shuffle them.
Lucy, I didn't realize you had a wedding anniversary coming up so soon.
From the look on his face, neither did Ricky.
What are you talking about? I knew we had a wedding anniversary coming up so soon.
You did, huh? I knew it was coming up.
I was just talking to myself the other day, you know, and saying that how much fun it'd be to celebrate the wedding anniversary here in California.
How about that? Wouldn't that be fun? (chuckling nervously) When is it? "When is it?" (forced laughter) That's a ridiculous question, "When is it?" (laughing harder) I made four spades-- double.
Come on, honey.
Ricky, what day is it? What day is it? It's Monday.
Yesterday was Sunday; today is Monday.
Monday.
You know what I mean.
Oh, oh.
Oh, you know, what day is our anniversary on? Yeah.
Oh, well, uh, our anniversary Hello.
Oh, Mother, darling! How are you, sweetheart? So glad to see you, Mother.
Well, you've never been this happy to see me before, Mickey.
"Mickey.
" Isn't she a doll? (laughing): Mickey.
(baby crying) Honey, now look, you woke up the baby.
I'm sorry.
(door closes) Ethel, when is it? I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know? You were there at our anniversary party last year.
So were you.
Fred, you remember? Oh, uh, how about May 3? That date sticks in my mind for some reason.
Ah, no, no.
Oh, no, no, that's the day I fell down and broke my leg.
Or was that the day I got the gout? Fred, for your information, May 3 is our wedding anniversary.
Well, I knew it was tied in with some painful memory.
Stop the stale jokes, will you? Help me think of this.
Let's see.
You know what they ought to do? They ought to declare a national holiday and let everybody celebrate their anniversary on the same day.
Yeah.
How about April 1? Yeah.
Honestly.
(whistling) Uh, Mrs.
McGillicuddy, honey Yes? Do you remember when Lucy got married? Certainly.
When was it? Years ago.
No, I mean, uh, what was the date? Date? Oh, uh, I'm no good at dates, but, um, it was sometime in the spring.
Thanks a lot.
Looking for something? (gasps, then mutters) Ohhh.
We-we-we got to talking about marriages and everything and I was looking at my beautiful ring.
Well, don't bother.
We didn't have them engraved.
Ricky Ricardo, you have forgotten the date of our anniversary, haven't you? Certainly not.
All right, then, when is it? Say, uh, you keep asking me that question a lot of times, uh, I bet that you've forgotten.
I have not.
We were married on Ah.
Oh, no, you don't.
You're not gonna trick me into telling you.
I don't have to trick you into telling.
I know.
You do not.
Oh, yes, I do.
As a matter of fact, uh, I have a whole, uh, party planned at the Mocambo for that night.
Oh, but how can you, Rick, when you don't Deal the cards, Fred! You have a party planned for what night, Ricky? Uh, for the night of our anniversary.
And what night is that, Ricky? Well, darling, if you don't know when your own anniversary is, I'm certainly not going to tell you.
(whispering): Hello.
Give me Western Union, please.
Western Union? I want to send a wire to Greenwich, Gonnecticut, to the head of the License Bureau.
That's right.
Look.
Here's the message.
"Wire me the information of the date "of the marriage of Lucille McGillicuddy and Ricardo Alberto Fernando Ricardo y Acha.
" Ricardo.
Yeah, yeah.
As in "Montalban," yeah.
Alberto.
Alberto.
A-l You know, like "Albert.
" Put an "o" at the end.
"Alberto," yeah.
"Fernando.
" Yes.
As in "Lamas," yes.
Ricardo y Acha.
Acha, Acha.
Thank you, but I'm not sneezing.
That's a name.
Well, it's not funny to me.
And sign it "Ricky Ricardo, Beverly Palms Hotel.
" Thank you.
Sheesh! Uh, this is Ricky Ricardo.
Look, have you got a wire for me? Will you please look? It's on its way up? Thank you.
What's on its way up? Uh Breakfast? Yeah! Yeah! About time.
I ordered it a half an hour ago.
Why were you whispering? My throat.
What's the matter with your throat? (doorbell buzzing) Honey, honey, will please get me some cough medicine? I think I'm catching a cold.
Well, honey, you're not coughing.
Oh, I've been coughing (coughing): all morning.
Okay.
All right, honey.
I'll get it.
You should have your bathrobe on.
If you think you're catching a cold, you shouldn't run around without your bathrobe.
Yeah, that's right.
You're right, honey.
You're right, you're right.
Why don't you think of those things? Yes, darling, yes.
Good morning, Mr.
Ricardo! There we are.
You know anything about a wire for me? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
I'm sorry.
Ricky, where is your bathrobe? Uh Oh, here it is.
I got it.
Here.
Put this on.
Lovely breakfast.
Okay.
Thank you.
Here you are.
Take this.
What's that? Cough medicine.
I don't want any cough Come on! Oh, now, look what you made me do.
I got enough of it.
Shh! Come on, let's have breakfast.
All right.
There.
You sit over there, darling.
Come on.
Oh, honey, I don't want to sit there.
Come on, let's sit down here where we're comfortable.
Those seats No, those chairs are too low.
I'm I just Yesterday I almost broke my back trying to You get the silverware.
Napkins.
Put them down there.
It's much more comfortable over here, honey.
Put them down over there.
There we are.
It's much better here.
Okay.
Boy, I'm hungry.
Whoa! They look good this morning.
Lucy! What? Lucy I was very, very disappointed with the way you acted last night.
The way I acted? Yes.
Thinking that I've forgotten our wedding anniversary.
Well, now, honey All right, when is it? Now, honey, don't you know that I love you? Well, yes, but Look, there's just one way you can prove you remember.
All right.
All right, I'll tell you.
But, uh, first give me a hug, huh? Why? As a vote of confidence.
(chuckling): All right.
That's my baby.
How could you possibly think that I'd forgotten our wedding anniversary? Well, you wouldn't tell me.
Well, darling, I've known all my life that our wedding anniversary has always been on the 7th.
Oh, then you did know.
Yes.
Oh, you're wonderful.
Well, I feel much better now.
So do I.
Wait a minute, I'll be right back.
I want to tell Ethel.
Yes, darling.
She said you were just like all other husbands.
Oh, she did, huh? Yeah.
Hey, is that party still on? Yeah, oh, yes! Mmm! Yes, sir! Yeah.
The party oy.
Uh, g-g-give me MGM, please.
(chair rattling) Ross Elliott's office.
(phone ringing) Hello.
Hello, Ross.
Look, this is Ricky Ricardo.
I want you to plant a news item for me.
You see, I forgot the date of our wedding anniversary.
Well, that's not news.
All right, all right.
Now, look, I forgot the date of our wedding anniversary.
So, I told Lucy that I have a big party planned at the Mocambo for that night, the night of the 7th.
Now, can you put something in the paper that, you know, makes it look like the invitations have been out for a couple of weeks or something? Sure, Ricky, I'll have it in tomorrow morning's paper.
Good.
Of course in order to get it in at this late notice, I'll, I'll have to make it sound important.
That's all right.
Whatever you have to do, Ross.
Thank you very much.
Da da dee Da ba da Well, I told Ethel you were just kidding.
You knew the date all along, that the party is on.
Good girl! Come on.
Let's have our breakfast, huh? Okay.
Ricky? Yes, darling.
I love you, honey.
I love you, sweetheart.
(sighing) Mother, do you have anything that should go to the cleaners? No.
Honestly, the way this stuff piles up.
Well, you certainly made the headlines.
What do you mean? Well, it's right here on the movie page.
It tells all about the anniversary party Mickey's giving for you at the Mocambo tonight.
No kidding.
Mm-hmm.
Listen.
"Ricky Ricardo" Hmm, how do you like that? They spelled Mickey's name wrong.
"is hosting a 15th anniversary party "for his wife Lucy at the Mocambo tonight.
"Invitations went out last week "to such notables as Esther Williams and Ben Gage, "Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Wilding, Robert Taylor and Ursula Thiess" For heaven's sake! All those movie stars coming to my party? Let me see.
"Van and Evie Johnson, "Cary and Betsy Grant, June Allyson and Dick Powell" Oh, Mother, isn't it exciting? Oh! Oh, you great, big wonderful doll, you! Say, what's all this? My party at the Mocambo.
It's written up in the paper.
Oh, really? And to think that I doubted you.
It says right here in the paper that the invitations were sent out last week.
You know, Mickey, in spite of all my predictions, I think you're going to turn out all right.
Thanks.
And, honey, the guest list.
Guest list? Well, I think almost every star in Hollywood is gonna be there.
Yeah.
Yeah? (muttering) Geesh.
I guess Lassie couldn't make it.
Honey, when you first told me about the party, I never dreamed it would be anything like this.
Neither did I.
I mean, you know, once I got started, I figured I'd go all the way, you know.
Nothing is too good for my baby and her 15th wedding anniversary.
I'm going right over and tell the Mertzes all about the party, honey.
And I'm going down and get another paper and show it to that snooty Mrs.
Anderson.
She thinks her daughter is such a much.
Oh, ha, ha.
(phone ringing) Hello.
Hi.
What did you think of that spread in the paper this morning? Yeah, well, that was wonderful, Ross, but, uh, didn't you overdo it a little? This thing is liable to cost me a fortune.
How many of those people are coming? None.
None?! No, I just printed the names of the people I knew would be out of town.
Oh.
Wait a minute, boy.
This is worse.
What am I going to tell Lucy? Uh Thank you very, very much for calling.
Yes, sir, I'll call you.
Good-bye.
They must be out having breakfast or something.
Gee, I can hardly wait to tell Ethel about all the movie stars.
Well, now, honey Oh, here they are.
Ethel! Don't go too overboard, honey.
You-you never know what might happen.
Ricky, you go over and talk some sense into the Mertzes.
They make me so mad.
What's the matter? They think they're not invited to my party.
Aw, come now, of course they're invited.
Well, that's what I tried to tell them, but they want to know why they didn't get their invitations last week.
Oh.
Uh I told them they were family.
They weren't expected to get a formal invitation, for heaven's sake.
Good.
I mean, that's true, yeah.
And then they wanted to know why their name wasn't in the paper.
Yeah, well, uh I'll go, I'll go and talk to them.
Sure they're invited.
Mira que quiere decir que no estan invitados.
Ricky! Yeah? Just a minute.
What's the meaning of this? Uh No hablo ingles.
You come back here.
You hablo plenty of ingles and you'd better start "habloing" right now.
Tengo que irme.
Adios, muchacha.
Come back here, or I'll adios your muchacha.
All right.
All right.
I forgot the date.
I admit it.
Is that a crime? Yes! Oh, now, honey, now, I-I don't blame you for being a little upset, but aren't you being unreasonable? No! Aw, come now, honey.
You forgot the date of our anni if you forgot the date of our anniversary, how could you have sent those invitations out last week? Yeah, well, uh that's another thing.
Uh There, there, there were no invitations.
None of those peoples are coming.
None of those peoples are coming? No.
You see, uh that was Ross' idea.
He-he-he thought he would, uh, put it in the paper for publicity.
Publicity! Now, look, honey, we'll, we'll have our party at the Mocambo.
You and I and the Mertzes will go there You have your party.
I'm not going! What do you mean? Just what I said, I'm not going.
Aw, come now, honey, you-you don't mean that you're not going to go to your anniversary party with me? That's just what I mean.
No, no, you don't mean that.
Don't tell me what I mean! Now, look, I'm going to start getting mad pretty soon, too, you know.
I'm going to give you your last chance.
Now, are you going to go to your anniversary party with me or not? No, I am not! All right.
Then I'll go by myself.
Go ahead.
All right.
All right.
Okay! Okay! Okay.
All right! Yeah! Happy anniversary to Oh, keep quiet! What's the matter? Oh, you're always singing! Now, Lucy, this is not funny anymore.
Now, for the last time, are you going to go to your anniversary party with me or not? What am I supposed to do with these? (doorbell buzzing) I'll be right with you.
Now, look, Lucy, the Mertzes and I are going to the Mocambo.
It is your anniversary party.
We would love to have you with us.
Gin.
All right.
I'm going to tell you something.
I'm going to go out of that door and when I go out of that door, I'm not coming back here.
Are you going to let me go? That does it.
Ooh, he makes me so mad! Imagine, going nightclubbing on his anniversary while he leaves his poor wife sitting home alone.
Yeah.
You're not gonna let him get away with it, are you? I certainly am not.
I'm gonna I'm What do you mean, I'm not gonna let him get away with it? It's your anniversary just as much as it is his.
Call the Mocambo, reserve a table and have your own anniversary party.
Well, that won't be much fun just sitting there alone.
Look at it this way.
With you there, it will completely louse up his evening.
Yeah.
Oh, no, I couldn't go by myself.
Will you go with me? Sure.
Mrs.
Anderson will sit with the baby.
Good.
Uh, yeah.
Maybe we can get a couple of fellas.
What? How would it look for two women to walk into a nightclub alone? Oh, that's right.
We'll need an escort.
Well, now, let's see, who do we know? (doorbell buzzing) Come in! Here's your evening paper.
(orchestra playing "La Vie En Rose") ("La Vie En Rose" playing) (song ends) Ladies and gentlemen, we have the unexpected surprise for you tonight: Mr.
Ricky Ricardo.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen and thank you very much, Harold.
Thank you very much.
You see, uh, I-I really asked to be brought up here because tonight is my 15th wedding anniversary.
(audience applauds) Thank you very much.
But I'm in a little bit of a problem.
Uh you see, I forgot the date of my anniversary and my wife is not speaking to me.
That's the very lovely redhead over there.
I tried to tell her today that I was sorry and everything, but she won't budge.
And then I had an idea and I hope that this will does it.
Come on, fellas.
(piano plays) Tonight is our night And here we are But it's not the way that I planned I told you I'm sorry You know how I feel Darling, say You understand Tell me I may always dance The anniversary waltz With you Tell me this is real romance An anniversary dream Come true Let this be the anthem To our future years To millions of smiles And a few little tears Tell me I may always dance The anniversary waltz Come on, honey.
(applause) With you ("Anniversary Waltz" instrumental) Let this be the anthem To our future years To millions of smiles And a few little tears Tell me I may always dance The anniversary waltz Mm-hmm.
(applause) ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) ANNOUNCER: Harold Stern and His Violins appear through the courtesy of the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas.
Others in the cast were Kathryn Card, Ross Elliott and Bobby Jellison.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

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