I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (2019) s03e04 Episode Script

1
Can't believe this place
was near the office all that time
and none of us knew.
Yeah, my salad is lights out.
This is so my new spot.
- Oh my God, you hear about Jenna?
- What happened?
She took her mom to a play this weekend
and her mom fell coming out the theater.
- [gasps]
- Oh God, is she okay?
She's fine. She's just on bedrest
for three weeks in Jenna's living room.
- Oof.
- Christ, that's awful.
Yeah. I would not
wanna be Jenna right now.
- Me either.
- I wouldn't wanna be Jenna either.
- Now Jenna has to take care of her mom
- I'd wanna be Mike.
Just 'cause Mike
has the best friend group.
Yeah. Totally.
Jenna's not coming in at all this week.
She has to prep at home without her team.
- Man, that is rough.
- That's why I wanna be Mike.
His friend group has a smooth rhythm,
all orchestrated perfectly by Mike.
Yeah, it's a good group of guys.
Yeah, my friend group
is a good group of guys too.
It's 200 guys.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
So I'm thinking about
going over to Jenna's
and seeing if her and her mom need food.
- That's nice.
- I just feel bad.
I think the main problem
of my friend group
is I have to pay to be in it.
- You have to pay to be in your group?
- Like a service. I was second tier.
But then I was annoying at a party
so now I'm paying the most.
- What'd you do?
- Thought it'd be funny
to be a wild man in the pool.
- What do you mean?
- I was fighting everybody
and trying to splash water
in their mouths.
- So now I pay more.
- Stuart.
- Should not have to pay for being
- Crap! One of my friends!
- Did he see what I was eating?
- Are you in trouble?
Come here right now, Stuart!
[tense music playing]
[ominous instrumental flare]
- Hey.
- How many friend parties
did you go to this week?
- Three.
- And how many parties
are you allowed at your tier?
- Two.
- Then why, oh, why, Stuart,
were you at a third party?
- I rented the house for the party!
- Hey! We don't yell at me.
You're right. You're right.
What were you eating over there?
Nothing. It was something healthy.
Let's take a little walk.
I wanna talk to your buddies.
- I'm gonna ask for myself.
- Okay.
Hi. How are ya?
I'm Stuart's friend.
Can you guys tell me what he ate?
- I really didn't notice.
- Don't know.
Can you do me a huge favor?
Make sure he doesn't eat too much.
See, Stuart's a lot more annoying
when he's heavier.
- Not really our business.
- Just a favor.
Just a little favor.
- [ominous instrumental flare]
- Whoa! Who are you?
You have friends?
- I do.
- You do?
No. You don't have friends.
- I do.
- They good friends?
How would you like 200 friends?
Just like this!
- [dishes clatter]
- [gasps]
- Oh my God.
- Sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay. You're okay.
Everyone farts. It's just
when I slammed my two hands down,
I squoze and farted.
You're okay. You'll be fine.
- It's just really bad.
- I know.
I know it is. It's okay.
- Want a little drink of water? All right.
- No.
Thank you, Stuart.
I want you.
[theme music playing]
Ever since I was a kid,
I've always loved love.
- I love celebrating each part.
- Will you marry me?
That's why I opened Pacific Proposal Park.
The perfect place to propose.
Gardens and gardens of flowers,
bubbling brooks,
lighted gazebos,
rose arches,
as well as a special spongy soft soil
perfect for the most perfect kneel
of your life.
And unfortunately, the perfect place to
slam Jerry "the Jet" Jones to the ground.
Will you marry me?
- [grunting]
- Oh my God!
These fuckin' wrestlers keep coming in
and practicing slams on proposal ground!
I accidentally built the perfect ring.
[groaning]
I built this for love. Now, Toilet Truck
made someone pretend he's a truck!
You're a truck!
[gravelly] Vroom!
[imitates truck horn]
You can't be here, Toilet Truck!
[yelling]
- No!
- Fuckers!
Please, stop!
I was excited to propose to my girlfriend
of three years
on Proposal Park's soft lawn.
When I kneeled, Baby Duff
came out of a bush and bit me on the leg.
Worst is Toilet Truck and Baby Duff.
I hope Toilet Truck dies.
I honestly hope he dies.
I hope Toilet Truck dies.
I hope Baby Duff dies.
I hope somebody finds them and kills them.
[rapid gunfire]
Another thing. King Larry
is also Scarecrow.
Saw him change into Scarecrow
in his car.
I saw his whole penis.
And it was redder than hell.
That's what I'm looking at.
A guy's penis that's about to pop.
I don't think he washes himself.
So please come and have the most
beautiful proposal of your life.
- Come on, King Larry. You gotta go.
- All right.
[soft snapping]
Did your penis just pop?
["Got to Give You Up"
by Ronnie Whitehead plays]
- [gentle acoustic music plays]
- [chatter]
[exhales softly]
Self-conscious about your hair loss?
Yeah.
I don't know what to do.
Like as soon as I hit 40,
it started thinning.
I had the same problem.
- You did?
- Yeah.
Then I tried Gelutol.
After three weeks,
I saw significant growth.
After five weeks, I almost had
my whole full head of hair back.
After just five weeks?
Yes. It works. Trust me.
And it's the only non-topical
hair-replacement product
that doesn't use IDL benzyl.
- Hey. You guys talking about Gelutol?
- No.
- What are you talking about then?
- Don't tell him. Nothing.
- What was he saying to you?
- Don't tell him.
- What were you talking about?
- Sex.
After five weeks,
you'll have a full head of hair.
- Why didn't you tell him?
- Don't like him.
I don't want him to have hair.
So take one of these every day.
In two weeks, you'll start to see results.
Thank you.
[announcer] Gelutol.
Enjoy a healthy head of hair
that looks like you never lost it.
- You talking shit about me?
- What? No.
What were you talking about?
- Were you really talking about sex?
- Yeah.
- Fingering.
- Really?
- Not gonna tell you anything.
- Why?
You're not cool at all. You're a dick.
Leave us alone.
- Gonna tell him something he can't tell.
- Fuck do I care?
- What'd he say?
- "Fingering."
What are you doing?!
[announcer] Results vary,
but in laboratory studies
hair growth began in under two weeks.
- Shh! Here he comes.
- What were you talking about?
Get out of here.
About my wife?
'Cause she's not wearing green?
She had a green jacket. Took it off.
She got hot.
Go away from me right now.
He thinks we're talking about his wife.
- Gotta put this on.
- Why?
Right now. St. Patrick's Day.
I'm so hot.
Drink water.
- [jaunty Irish folk music plays]
- [mutters]
I think I want you to have curly hair.
- My hair grows in straight.
- You could curl it.
I gave you the stuff. Don't you think
I should have a little say in how it is?
Bobby! [growls]
[announcer]
In a controlled study of men ages 40-65,
over 85% of participants experienced
partial to complete hair restoration.
Women who are or may
potentially be pregnant
must not use or handle broken tablets.
- Who is that?
- Guy who has that car.
- What are you talking about?!
- Getting killed!
- I'm gonna go blast the heat.
- Why?
His wife. Making her wear a coat
so she doesn't get pinched.
What were you talking about?
- The hell?
- What were you talking about?
- Don't remember.
- Goddammit, I asked you.
Just tell me yes or no.
- Was it about me?
- A little bit.
Ha! First clue! I know something.
Fuck!
What'd you do?
- Nothing!
- Said he knows something!
Don't understand why you can't tell.
Not like you need to give it to him.
Doesn't know what it's called.
He's been saying Gelutol.
Not called Gelutol.
I been saying it wrong.
- It's not called Gelutol?
- No.
[gleeful giggle]
[discordant, unsettling notes play]
You did exactly what I asked you.
You actually might end up being
a nice little soldier.
You come see me in a few weeks
when you got them curls.
You pay for the seeds,
you get to look at the trees.
Doink, doink, doink, doink,
doink, doink, doink, doink
Baby, baby, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
Oh, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
Summer love ♪
[announcer] With Megan saving Alexander,
it was time to say goodbye to Ronnie.
[tender electric guitar music plays]
Move!
Losers! Move!
[intense and emotional
electric guitar solo continues]
[shrill ending note, guitar slide]
["Young Girl" by Frank Lynch plays]
[soft murmur of overlapping chatter]
Oh, Rachel.
Hi, Melissa! Look how cute this is!
I know. Haven't been in the auditorium
since kindergraduation.
Oh, I'm so sorry, this is Flynn's mom.
Hey. Nice to finally meet you.
Nice to meet you.
This is my husband, Richard,
and my parents, Barb and Shane.
Hi.
Hey, look at that.
We got the same shirt on.
Shirt brothers.
- Yeah, I guess we do.
- Yeah. Absolutely.
Hey, hey, shirt brother. Nice to meet you.
- [all chuckling]
- I like this guy. Shirt brother.
He's got good taste.
[gentle piano intro
to "Meet Me in St. Louis" plays]
Meet me in St. Louis, Louis ♪
Meet me at the fair ♪
Don't tell me the lights are shining ♪
Any place but there ♪
- We will dance the hoochie coochie ♪
- [crowd chuckles]
I will be your tootsie wootsie ♪
in my flying machine
Going up she goes ♪
Up she goes ♪
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam ♪
In the air she goes ♪
Up a little bit higher ♪
Oh my, the moon is on fire ♪
Shirt brother, you gotta help me.
I'm in deep fuckin' trouble here.
- Come on, shirt brother.
- What're you talking about?
- Come on, let's go. I need you now.
- Okay. All right.
- Come on.
- Excuse me.
- I fucked up, man. I fucked up.
- [suspenseful music plays]
I fucked up really bad.
I'm glad you're here, shirt brother.
- The hell's going on, Shane?
- You'll see.
Okay. Here we go.
[suspenseful music continues]
[music fades]
What the hell did you do?
I went crazy in here.
[inhales]
I ripped everything off the walls.
What happened?
I stepped out to drain my lizard.
And I was on my way back,
I started checking doorknobs
to see if any were open.
But they were all locked.
Then this one was open.
So I was just like,
"What if I just trash this place?"
You know, just fuckin' go nuts in here.
I started spinning around,
going nuts,
moving my head all around.
I tried to rip the Wright brothers
off the ceiling, brother.
Well,
what should we start with first?
- What do you mean?
- We gotta clean this up.
- Don't know who you are.
- Flynn's grandpa.
What the hell you talking about?
I didn't do any of this.
I'm not helping you with anything, okay?
You're the only person I can talk to here.
All right. Maybe I can try and help you.
Can you tell me why you really did this?
[inhales sharply]
I've been listening to this new song.
- What?
- I've been listening to this new song.
By this band I never heard before.
And they're saying there's no rules.
You think that's true?
I I'm not sure.
I'm not either.
This thing has got me all fucked up.
- Okay. Well, can I just hear the song?
- Here.
Play that. Press play on there.
Okay. All right.
[upbeat song plays]
There really are no rules!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
What are you doing?
Turn it off then!
[song stops]
God, I love that fuckin' song, man.
I just don't know if any of it's true.
Look, Shane, I've
I've felt this way before.
You go through life
and everything starts to feel really flat.
Then you read something
or you see something
and you wake up, you feel inspired.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think there just might be no rules.
Yeah.
Well, I think we should
get back to the concert.
Hey, hey, hey, shirt brother, promise me
you'll do everything in your power
to never do anything that's a rule again.
I don't I can't promise that.
Promise me a million times
that you will never do another rule.
[gentle piano music plays]
[sighs]
We travel 'round the world ♪
Every single town we know
We know, oh-oh-oh, we ♪
[Shane] You go back.
Listen to your daughter's solo.
It's too late for me. I'm awake now.
- Go on.
- What are you gonna do?
[tearfully] I don't know.
[upbeat pop-punk song plays]
[vocalist]
I've been asleep for too long ♪
My eyes are opening ♪
Don't want to be a puppet ♪
Just hanging on a string ♪
Not gonna play by the rules ♪
I'm done with listening ♪
Everything you know
It's all just for show ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
The suits and ties feed me lies ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
Okay, all right
Everything's great, everything tonight ♪
Wanna feel a fright
All right, don't grow tired ♪
Wanna be great, gotta be good
Do it now in the neighborhood ♪
[vocalist] Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
Everything you know
It's all just for show ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
The suits and ties feed me lies ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
Everything you know, everything you know
Everything you know ♪
- [music stops abruptly]
- [silence]
[screaming]
Everything you know, everything you know
Everything you know ♪
It's all just for show ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
The suits and ties feed me lies ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
I don't wanna go on listening ♪
Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
Everything you know
Everything you know ♪
[music ends]
[robotic voice] Zanin Corp.
[chuckles]