Impractical Jokers (2017) s03e25 Episode Script

In Poor Taste Buds

coming up, what's got sal making a racket? oh! Making a racket? oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
why is joe showing off the [ laughter .]
why is joe showing off the goods? why is joe showing off the goods? [ laughter .]
Goods? [ laughter .]
and which joker will feel [ laughter .]
and which joker will feel uncomfortably numb in tonight's And which joker will feel uncomfortably numb in tonight's punishment? Uncomfortably numb in tonight's punishment? oh! Oh! Punishment? oh! Oh! prepare for something oh! Oh! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
larry! [ laughter .]
today, we're at [ laughter .]
today, we're at bethpage tennis center, teaching today, we're at bethpage tennis center, teaching tennis lessons like the pros.
Bethpage tennis center, teaching tennis lessons like the pros.
except, unlike the pros, Tennis lessons like the pros.
except, unlike the pros, we'll have to do and say what except, unlike the pros, we'll have to do and say what the other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.
Anything, you lose.
fore! fore! that's golf.
sal, you know what this outfit shows off really well? Outfit shows off really well? what? what? your collection of lame your collection of lame tattoos from calf down.
Tattoos from calf down.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
will you look? Will you look? defined.
defined.
look at how muscular his look at how muscular his calves are.
Calves are.
You think what you're gonna see You think what you're gonna see is schwarzenegger.
Is schwarzenegger.
And then, what do you see? And then, what do you see? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
hey! hey! hi.
hi.
what is your name? what is your name? Flo.
Sal.
Flo.
Sal.
sal, before you start the sal, before you start the lesson, buddy, why don't you try and sell her on turquoise Lesson, buddy, why don't you try and sell her on turquoise jewelry? And sell her on turquoise jewelry? oh, yeah.
Jewelry? oh, yeah.
It's like a pyramid scheme, oh, yeah.
It's like a pyramid scheme, right? It's like a pyramid scheme, right? no, no.
Right? no, no.
It's a legit business.
no, no.
It's a legit business.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a legit business.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
I also do this other thing.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
I also do this other thing.
I don't know if you've heard of I also do this other thing.
I don't know if you've heard of it.
I don't know if you've heard of it.
Like, it's turquoise It.
Like, it's turquoise jewelry-making.
Like, it's turquoise jewelry-making.
okay.
Jewelry-making.
okay.
okay, so, it's excellent.
okay.
okay, so, it's excellent.
It's an excellent opportunity.
okay, so, it's excellent.
It's an excellent opportunity.
And I always just tell people, It's an excellent opportunity.
And I always just tell people, if they're looking to make a And I always just tell people, if they're looking to make a little extra money, I send you, If they're looking to make a little extra money, I send you, like, a block of real turquoise, Little extra money, I send you, like, a block of real turquoise, you know? Like, a block of real turquoise, you know? okay.
You know? okay.
and then you push the product okay.
and then you push the product out, and then I send you a and then you push the product out, and then I send you a percentage.
Out, and then I send you a percentage.
oh.
Percentage.
oh.
it's really a simple process.
oh.
it's really a simple process.
okay.
it's really a simple process.
okay.
you can make dozens and okay.
you can make dozens and dozens of dollars a month.
you can make dozens and dozens of dollars a month.
[ laughter .]
Dozens of dollars a month.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
Okay, so, we'll just volley a Okay.
Okay, so, we'll just volley a little bit.
Okay, so, we'll just volley a little bit.
So, real quick -- what color is Little bit.
So, real quick -- what color is my headband? So, real quick -- what color is my headband? turquoise blue.
My headband? turquoise blue.
you're damn right it is.
turquoise blue.
you're damn right it is.
Think about those opportunities.
you're damn right it is.
Think about those opportunities.
[ laughter .]
Think about those opportunities.
[ laughter .]
sal, grunt every time you hit [ laughter .]
sal, grunt every time you hit the ball.
sal, grunt every time you hit the ball.
Grunt really loud.
The ball.
Grunt really loud.
oh! Grunt really loud.
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
Aah! [ laughter .]
ooh! [ laughter .]
ooh! There it is, flo.
Ooh! There it is, flo.
Ooh! There it is, flo.
Ooh! [ laughter .]
Ooh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! "flo, watch you[bleep.]
up oh! "flo, watch you[bleep.]
up shoulder.
" "flo, watch you[bleep.]
up shoulder.
" [ laughter .]
Shoulder.
" [ laughter .]
flo, just be careful of your [ laughter .]
flo, just be careful of your [bleep.]
up shoulder.
flo, just be careful of your [bleep.]
up shoulder.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna blame that one on your [bleep.]
up shoulder.
I'm Your [bleep.]
up shoulder.
I'm I'm gonna blame that one on your I'm I'm gonna blame that one on your [bleep.]
up shoulder.
I'm gonna blame that one on your [bleep.]
up shoulder.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
up shoulder.
[ laughter .]
hey, you know what's easy on [ laughter .]
hey, you know what's easy on your shoulders? hey, you know what's easy on your shoulders? you know what's easy on the Your shoulders? you know what's easy on the shoulder? you know what's easy on the shoulder? shipping and selling your own Shoulder? shipping and selling your own turquoise jewelry.
shipping and selling your own turquoise jewelry.
[ laughs .]
Turquoise jewelry.
[ laughs .]
shipping and selling your own [ laughs .]
shipping and selling your own turquoise jewelry.
shipping and selling your own turquoise jewelry.
[ laughter .]
here we go.
Here she comes, ready to learn Here she comes, ready to learn some tennis.
Some tennis.
yeah.
yeah.
hey.
How are you? hey.
How are you? yeah, just have her follow yeah, just have her follow you around.
You around.
keep circling the net.
keep circling the net.
Keep circling the net.
Keep circling the net.
all right.
Okay.
all right.
Okay.
Right over here, sarah.
Right over here, sarah.
Yeah, we'll be all right, right Yeah, we'll be all right, right here.
Here.
It's a little It's a little [ laughter .]
you're going the wrong way, [ laughter .]
you're going the wrong way, buddy.
you're going the wrong way, buddy.
okay.
Buddy.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
All right, you go that side.
Okay.
All right, you go that side.
I'll go on this side.
Okay.
All right, you go that side.
I'll go on this side.
Okay.
[ laughter .]
I'll go on this side.
Okay.
[ laughter .]
tell her to come close.
[ laughter .]
tell her to come close.
all right, come here.
tell her to come close.
all right, come here.
We're gonna do a little exercise all right, come here.
We're gonna do a little exercise to help you out.
We're gonna do a little exercise to help you out.
raise your racket in the air.
To help you out.
raise your racket in the air.
raise your racket in the air.
raise your racket in the air.
raise your racket in the air.
and then wave it like you raise your racket in the air.
and then wave it like you just don't care.
and then wave it like you just don't care.
[ laughter .]
Just don't care.
[ laughter .]
now wave it like you just [ laughter .]
now wave it like you just don't care.
now wave it like you just don't care.
There you go.
You don't care.
Don't care.
There you go.
You don't care.
somebody say, "hey-oh!" There you go.
You don't care.
somebody say, "hey-oh!" somebody say, "hey-oh!" somebody say, "hey-oh!" somebody say, "hey-oh!" hey-oh! somebody say, "hey-oh!" hey-oh! [ laughter .]
hey-oh! [ laughter .]
all right, let's get back to [ laughter .]
all right, let's get back to it.
all right, let's get back to it.
All right, I'm gonna serve to It.
All right, I'm gonna serve to you now, and then you just All right, I'm gonna serve to you now, and then you just return it.
You now, and then you just return it.
yeah.
Return it.
yeah.
now serve as hard as you can.
yeah.
now serve as hard as you can.
[ laughter .]
keep going, buddy.
Rapid fire.
tell her to put some hustle Rapid fire.
tell her to put some hustle in it.
tell her to put some hustle in it.
there you go.
In it.
there you go.
Put some hustle in it.
there you go.
Put some hustle in it.
Put muscle in it.
You got this.
Put some hustle in it.
Put muscle in it.
You got this.
you can't serve fast enough.
Put muscle in it.
You got this.
you can't serve fast enough.
you got this, you got this, you can't serve fast enough.
you got this, you got this, you got this.
you got this, you got this, you got this.
You got it, you got it.
You got this.
You got it, you got it.
"stop playing like a girl.
" You got it, you got it.
"stop playing like a girl.
" [ laughs .]
"stop playing like a girl.
" [ laughs .]
all right, stop playing like [ laughs .]
all right, stop playing like a girl.
Come on.
Yes.
Yes.
take two or three balls at a time and hit them at the same take two or three balls at a time and hit them at the same time.
Time and hit them at the same time.
all right, you're killing it.
Time.
all right, you're killing it.
You're killing it.
all right, you're killing it.
You're killing it.
You got it.
You're killing it.
You got it.
Like, just pick one.
You got it.
Like, just pick one.
There you go.
Two.
Like, just pick one.
There you go.
Two.
Three.
There you go.
Two.
Three.
q, just stop and walk away.
Three.
q, just stop and walk away.
Say, "okay, that's it.
Bye.
" q, just stop and walk away.
Say, "okay, that's it.
Bye.
" bye.
Say, "okay, that's it.
Bye.
" bye.
[ laughter .]
bye.
[ laughter .]
just walk out.
Walk out.
[ laughter .]
bud, you ever play tennis? I played tennis in hawaii against my grandmother, who was I played tennis in hawaii against my grandmother, who was Against my grandmother, who was My fat grandmother -- you My fat grandmother -- you remember her? My fat grandmother -- you remember her? yeah.
Remember her? yeah.
frannie.
I was 16.
yeah.
frannie.
I was 16.
I was, like, in my prime.
frannie.
I was 16.
I was, like, in my prime.
She wiped the floor with me in I was, like, in my prime.
She wiped the floor with me in hawaii.
She wiped the floor with me in hawaii.
[ laughs .]
hey, man.
What's your name? Andrew.
Joey.
Andrew.
Joey.
How's everything? How's everything? good.
good.
you doing all right? you doing all right? I've been teaching for about I've been teaching for about five years.
Five years.
I just got into the teaching I just got into the teaching part of it.
Part of it.
And then I played -- And then I played -- no, I was, like, semi-pro.
No, I was, like, semi-pro.
I went to -- you know wimbledon? I went to -- you know wimbledon? Yeah, I had great seats to that.
[ laughter .]
Yeah, I had great seats to that.
[ laughter .]
all right, so, let's get [ laughter .]
all right, so, let's get started.
All right, so, let's get started.
start trash-talking your Started.
start trash-talking your student.
start trash-talking your student.
let's do it, polo.
Student.
let's do it, polo.
That's too high.
You suck.
let's do it, polo.
That's too high.
You suck.
[ laughter .]
That's too high.
You suck.
[ laughter .]
lift your knees up as high as [ laughter .]
lift your knees up as high as you can as you run.
lift your knees up as high as you can as you run.
High knees.
You can as you run.
High knees.
We need higher knees.
High knees.
We need higher knees.
[ laughter .]
We need higher knees.
[ laughter .]
come on, you mother[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
come on, you mother[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
come on, you mother[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
take that [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
take that [bleep.]
try to do some mc hammer.
Take that [bleep.]
try to do some mc hammer.
hit it.
try to do some mc hammer.
hit it.
[ laughter .]
hit it.
[ laughter .]
you can't touch this.
[ laughter .]
you can't touch this.
ho, ho, ho, ho, ho you can't touch this.
ho, ho, ho, ho, ho I was semi-pro in australia.
[ laughter .]
yeah, I'm ranked dead last.
yeah, I'm ranked dead last.
they go from 1 to 500 in the country.
they go from 1 to 500 in the country.
I was dead last.
Country.
I was dead last.
[ laughs .]
I was dead last.
[ laughs .]
remember, andy, you want to [ laughs .]
remember, andy, you want to put some stank on the ball.
remember, andy, you want to put some stank on the ball.
andy, you want to get some Put some stank on the ball.
andy, you want to get some stank on that ball, yeah.
andy, you want to get some stank on that ball, yeah.
[ laughter .]
Stank on that ball, yeah.
[ laughter .]
loft it up.
Stankiewicz.
[ laughter .]
loft it up.
Stankiewicz.
There you go.
Loft it up.
Stankiewicz.
There you go.
here we go, stank sinatra.
you want to do it your way, stank sinatra? Stank sinatra? Stanks and beans.
Stanks and beans.
[ laughs .]
there you go.
[ laughs .]
there you go.
try and touch his crotch there you go.
try and touch his crotch subtly with the racket.
try and touch his crotch subtly with the racket.
what Bring it in a sec.
You're a lefty, right? Okay, yeah.
You're a lefty, right? Okay, yeah.
So, you want a continental, so Okay, yeah.
So, you want a continental, so when you bring it back, you want So, you want a continental, so when you bring it back, you want to go right in.
When you bring it back, you want to go right in.
get him again.
Get him again.
To go right in.
get him again.
Get him again.
see where the thumb is? get him again.
Get him again.
see where the thumb is? Great.
Bring it back.
see where the thumb is? Great.
Bring it back.
Great.
And then up.
Great.
Bring it back.
Great.
And then up.
[ laughter .]
Great.
And then up.
[ laughter .]
he's covering himself.
[ laughter .]
he's covering himself.
when you do a return, you he's covering himself.
when you do a return, you just want to bring it in.
when you do a return, you just want to bring it in.
And boop! There you go.
Just want to bring it in.
And boop! There you go.
[ laughter .]
oh, wow.
She looks ready to go.
She looks ready to go.
hi.
I'm james.
hi.
I'm james.
james? yes.
james? yes.
karen.
yes.
karen.
karen.
So nice to meet you.
karen.
karen.
So nice to meet you.
I recently moved here.
karen.
So nice to meet you.
I recently moved here.
I was a tennis teacher in I recently moved here.
I was a tennis teacher in singapore.
I was a tennis teacher in singapore.
I recently moved here.
Singapore.
I recently moved here.
I came back from singapore, I recently moved here.
I came back from singapore, actually.
I came back from singapore, actually.
I was a tennis teacher there for Actually.
I was a tennis teacher there for a number of years.
I was a tennis teacher there for a number of years.
I taught teens.
A number of years.
I taught teens.
I taught teens, mostly.
I taught teens.
I taught teens, mostly.
I called it teenis.
I taught teens, mostly.
I called it teenis.
I I called it teenis.
I [ laughter .]
I [ laughter .]
I called it teenis.
[ laughter .]
I called it teenis.
[ laughs .]
I called it teenis.
[ laughs .]
just say, "I see great evil [ laughs .]
just say, "I see great evil in you.
" just say, "I see great evil in you.
" I see great evil in you.
In you.
" I see great evil in you.
[ eerie music plays .]
I see great evil in you.
[ eerie music plays .]
let's do this.
[ eerie music plays .]
let's do this.
[ laughter .]
Let's do this.
[ laughter .]
we'll take it -- we'll just warm [ laughter .]
we'll take it -- we'll just warm up a little bit, okay? We'll take it -- we'll just warm up a little bit, okay? okay, when you serve, make Up a little bit, okay? okay, when you serve, make explosion noises.
okay, when you serve, make explosion noises.
And when she hits, make fart Explosion noises.
And when she hits, make fart noises.
And when she hits, make fart noises.
[ laughs .]
Noises.
[ laughs .]
[ imitates explosion .]
[ laughs .]
[ imitates explosion .]
pbht! [ imitates explosion .]
pbht! [ imitates explosion .]
Pbht! [ imitates explosion .]
pbht! [ imitates explosion .]
pbht! [ laughs .]
Pbht! [ laughs .]
so stupid, so effective.
[ laughs .]
so stupid, so effective.
[ imitates explosion .]
So stupid, so effective.
[ imitates explosion .]
pbht! [ imitates explosion .]
pbht! [ laughs .]
Pbht! [ laughs .]
all right, call her in to the [ laughs .]
all right, call her in to the net.
all right, call her in to the net.
come on in.
Net.
come on in.
Okay, couple quick things.
come on in.
Okay, couple quick things.
how about we play a game Okay, couple quick things.
how about we play a game of how about we play a game of how about you and I play a Of how about you and I play a quick game of how about you and I play a quick game of Strip tennis.
Quick game of Strip tennis.
[ laughter .]
Strip tennis.
[ laughter .]
say it, buddy.
[ laughter .]
say it, buddy.
Regular old tennis.
Say it, buddy.
Regular old tennis.
[ laughter .]
Regular old tennis.
[ laughter .]
game, set, match for murr.
[ laughter .]
game, set, match for murr.
He's first up on the loser game, set, match for murr.
He's first up on the loser board.
He's first up on the loser board.
today, we're in the park, Board.
today, we're in the park, playing one of our favorite today, we're in the park, playing one of our favorite games -- "now.
" Playing one of our favorite games -- "now.
" at any point during our Games -- "now.
" at any point during our conversation with strangers, the at any point during our conversation with strangers, the other guys can yell the word Conversation with strangers, the other guys can yell the word "now.
" when you hear the word "now," you have to do whatever weird You have to do whatever weird task was assigned to you.
Task was assigned to you.
if you can't do the weird if you can't do the weird task when you hear the word Task when you hear the word "now," you lose.
"now," you lose.
when are we playing? when are we playing? now! now! hey, murr.
hey, murr.
yeah? yeah? I just want to point out that I just want to point out that I'm rooting for you today, I'm rooting for you today, buddy.
Buddy.
thanks, buddy.
thanks, buddy.
like, I'm in.
like, I'm in.
I got the shirt.
I'm a fan.
.
I got the shirt.
I'm a fan.
.
he's on your team.
he's on your team.
Just because they were on clearance.
Just because they were on clearance.
All of ours were sold out.
Clearance.
All of ours were sold out.
[ laughter .]
All of ours were sold out.
[ laughter .]
it was the only one in stock.
[ laughter .]
it was the only one in stock.
[ laughter .]
it was the only one in stock.
[ laughter .]
he was in a tight spot.
[ laughter .]
he was in a tight spot.
He needed the extra 35% off.
he was in a tight spot.
He needed the extra 35% off.
[ laughter .]
He needed the extra 35% off.
[ laughter .]
okay, bud.
[ laughter .]
okay, bud.
all right, here we go, here okay, bud.
all right, here we go, here we go.
"right here, peter"? What is that? What is that? right here, peter.
right here, peter.
right here, peter.
right here, peter.
I have to just keep saying, I have to just keep saying, "right here, peter"? yeah.
He's meeting you.
"right here, peter"? yeah.
He's meeting you.
He's meeting you on the yeah.
He's meeting you.
He's meeting you on the beautiful day in the park.
He's meeting you on the beautiful day in the park.
yeah.
Beautiful day in the park.
yeah.
you know what street this is yeah.
you know what street this is by? you know what street this is by? This is 23rd street? By? This is 23rd street? yeah, I think so.
This is 23rd street? yeah, I think so.
I'm supposed to meet my buddy yeah, I think so.
I'm supposed to meet my buddy here for lunch, and he's walking I'm supposed to meet my buddy here for lunch, and he's walking around the park.
Here for lunch, and he's walking around the park.
He's not from new york.
Around the park.
He's not from new york.
now.
He's not from new york.
now.
right here, peter! now.
right here, peter! [ laughter .]
right here, peter! [ laughter .]
where you from, bud? [ laughter .]
where you from, bud? I'm from asheville, Where you from, bud? I'm from asheville, north carolina.
I'm from asheville, north carolina.
oh, really? North carolina.
oh, really? yeah.
Yeah.
oh, really? yeah.
Yeah.
really? Asheville.
yeah.
Yeah.
really? Asheville.
I've never been there.
really? Asheville.
I've never been there.
I've been to, um I've never been there.
I've been to, um now.
I've been to, um now.
right here, peter! now.
right here, peter! [ laughs, mumbles .]
right here, peter! [ laughs, mumbles .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs, mumbles .]
[ laughter .]
oh, god.
[ laughter .]
oh, god.
You're from asheville, you said? Oh, god.
You're from asheville, you said? I'm from asheville, yeah.
You're from asheville, you said? I'm from asheville, yeah.
you live here now? I'm from asheville, yeah.
you live here now? now.
you live here now? now.
right here, peter! now.
right here, peter! [ laughter .]
right here, peter! [ laughter .]
you see him over there? [ laughter .]
you see him over there? He keeps You see him over there? He keeps walking that way? He keeps walking that way? yeah, he keeps walking around walking that way? yeah, he keeps walking around looking for me.
yeah, he keeps walking around looking for me.
He can't -- you know, whatever.
Looking for me.
He can't -- you know, whatever.
now.
right here, peter! [ laughing .]
should we wave? [ laughing .]
should we wave? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
you know, the scarsdale one just You know, the scarsdale one just moved to newport news.
now.
Moved to newport news.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
And it's really interesting.
right here, peter.
And it's really interesting.
now.
And it's really interesting.
now.
structure like this -- right now.
structure like this -- right here, peter.
structure like this -- right here, peter.
now.
Here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
now.
right here, peter.
[ laughter .]
right here, peter.
[ laughter .]
there you are.
[ laughter .]
there you are.
hey, bud.
there you are.
hey, bud.
[ laughter .]
hey, bud.
[ laughter .]
you found me.
[ laughter .]
you found me.
I was looking for you.
You found me.
I was looking for you.
good work, team murr.
all right, joe.
Here you go, bud.
Here you go, bud.
all right, fellas.
all right, fellas.
"present your crotch in a grand "present your crotch in a grand fashion.
" Fashion.
" you're presenting it as a you're presenting it as a gift.
Gift.
all right.
all right.
Let's get grand out here.
now! Let's get grand out here.
now! [ laughs .]
now! [ laughs .]
so weird.
[ laughs .]
so weird.
Just staring at him.
so weird.
Just staring at him.
hey, bud.
Just staring at him.
hey, bud.
now.
hey, bud.
now.
[ laughs .]
now.
[ laughs .]
you look like an idiot.
[ laughs .]
you look like an idiot.
I feel like an idiot.
you look like an idiot.
I feel like an idiot.
all: Now.
[ laughing .]
oh, my god.
we will not stop until you get everyone in this park.
we will not stop until you get everyone in this park.
Now.
Get everyone in this park.
Now.
now.
Now.
now.
now.
now.
now.
Now.
now.
Now.
now.
Now.
now.
[ laughter .]
now.
[ laughter .]
he jumped! He jumped! [ laughter .]
he jumped! He jumped! this is my life.
what do you got? Paper time.
Here goes team murr.
Here goes team murr.
"put a piece of gum in your "put a piece of gum in your mouth," boys? Mouth," boys? yes.
yes.
every time we say "now.
" every time we say "now.
" I don't have any gum.
I don't have any gum.
I do.
[ laughs .]
I do.
[ laughs .]
of course.
[ laughs .]
of course.
seven packs of bubble gum.
of course.
seven packs of bubble gum.
[ laughs .]
seven packs of bubble gum.
[ laughs .]
I want to show you how big [ laughs .]
I want to show you how big each piece of gum is.
I want to show you how big each piece of gum is.
This is a massive -- this is not Each piece of gum is.
This is a massive -- this is not like This is a massive -- this is not like How much will you give me if I Like How much will you give me if I eat that? How much will you give me if I eat that? Aah! Aah! Eat that? Aah! Aah! I'm done.
Aah! Aah! I'm done.
aah! It's in my mouth! do you know what they're putting together over here? Putting together over here? Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
It's always some sort of art It's always some sort of art installation.
Installation.
But isn't that nice, though? But isn't that nice, though? now.
now.
would you like a piece of would you like a piece of gum? Gum? Oh, you're not a big gum person? Oh, you're not a big gum person? I'm not a big gum person, I'm not a big gum person, either.
Either.
you are now.
you are now.
oh, yeah? oh, yeah? [ muffled .]
this gum's really [ muffled .]
this gum's really good.
Good.
It's really good.
It's really good.
now.
now.
your jaw's gonna break.
your jaw's gonna break.
it's worth the trip.
it's worth the trip.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
you could say that.
You could say that.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
how's that gum, buddy? how's that gum, buddy? I can't get enough.
I can't get enough.
Most people don't Most people don't don't know about it.
don't know about it.
most people don't know most people don't know about About you sound like you're doing you sound like you're doing an impression of yourself.
An impression of yourself.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ mumbling .]
oh, my god.
Look at his mouth! Look at his mouth! it looks like you have a full it looks like you have a full orange in your mouth.
Orange in your mouth.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
sit next to that girl.
sit next to that girl.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
is this taken? is this taken? Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
take out that old slip of take out that old slip of paper.
Paper.
there you go.
there you go.
oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
yeah, there you go.
I can't do this.
this is like now we're strip club, that's all.
this is like now we're strip club, that's all.
but what do you mean like I'm Club, that's all.
but what do you mean like I'm in a strip club? but what do you mean like I'm in a strip club? you know, like you present a In a strip club? you know, like you present a dollar.
you know, like you present a dollar.
yeah.
Dollar.
yeah.
it's a thank you.
yeah.
it's a thank you.
It's a thank-you tip.
it's a thank you.
It's a thank-you tip.
sal, I've seen you in strip It's a thank-you tip.
sal, I've seen you in strip clubs before.
sal, I've seen you in strip clubs before.
Just tip a dollar.
Clubs before.
Just tip a dollar.
no.
No, you haven't.
Just tip a dollar.
no.
No, you haven't.
I've never been to one.
no.
No, you haven't.
I've never been to one.
[ laughs .]
it's nice today.
now.
now.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
this is tough.
this is tough.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
well, we didn't make it easy.
well, we didn't make it easy.
my name is sal, by the way.
my name is sal, by the way.
Aino? Aino? we've said "now," so that we've said "now," so that means now.
Means now.
It's not soon.
It's now.
It's not soon.
It's now.
it's not later.
it's not later.
it's not when you're ready.
it's not when you're ready.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
it's now.
it's now.
it's your first day in it's your first day in new york? New york? yeah.
yeah.
from where? from where? Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
all right, we'll change the all right, we'll change the name of the challenge to Name of the challenge to "eventually.
" "eventually.
" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
have you been here before? have you been here before? now.
now.
hand her a dollar bill.
hand her a dollar bill.
do it or you lose, bud.
do it or you lose, bud.
I have -- this -- that's a I have -- this -- that's a dollar there.
Dollar there.
Oh, you know, you're working Oh, you know, you're working hard, and Hard, and Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
now.
now.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
there you go.
there you go.
there you go.
there you go.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
"thank you so much.
" "thank you so much.
" all: Uh all: Uh Now! Now! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
look at this.
look at this.
now.
now.
yeah! yeah! there you go.
there you go.
now.
now.
all: Now.
all: Now.
[ laughs .]
there you go.
[ laughs .]
there you go.
all: Now.
all: Now.
you're taking them all.
you're taking them all.
There you go.
It's for you.
There you go.
It's for you.
now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now! Now, now, now, now, now, now! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
get ready, murr.
get ready, murr.
Your punishment starts now.
all right! Murr lost! Your punishment starts now.
all right! Murr lost! that's right! all right! Murr lost! that's right! and for your punishment, that's right! and for your punishment, buddy, we came to the and for your punishment, buddy, we came to the downtown conference center, Buddy, we came to the downtown conference center, where you'll be playing a Downtown conference center, where you'll be playing a culinary expert presenting foods Where you'll be playing a culinary expert presenting foods from around the world.
Culinary expert presenting foods from around the world.
okay.
From around the world.
okay.
except you're not gonna be okay.
except you're not gonna be able to taste anything.
except you're not gonna be able to taste anything.
In fact, you're not gonna be Able to taste anything.
In fact, you're not gonna be able to say anything, either.
In fact, you're not gonna be able to say anything, either.
[ laughter .]
Able to say anything, either.
[ laughter .]
because we're gonna shoot up [ laughter .]
because we're gonna shoot up your mouth and your chompers because we're gonna shoot up your mouth and your chompers with tons of novocaine.
Your mouth and your chompers with tons of novocaine.
what?! With tons of novocaine.
what?! [ laughter .]
what?! [ laughter .]
wait.
Is this dangerous? [ laughter .]
wait.
Is this dangerous? For real.
wait.
Is this dangerous? For real.
You can't just inject a drug in For real.
You can't just inject a drug in my body.
You can't just inject a drug in my body.
it's going to be completely My body.
it's going to be completely painless, I promise.
it's going to be completely painless, I promise.
[ laughter .]
Painless, I promise.
[ laughter .]
all right! [ laughter .]
all right! here we go.
all right! here we go.
this distinguished gentleman here we go.
this distinguished gentleman is our friend dr.
Dan sullivan.
this distinguished gentleman is our friend dr.
Dan sullivan.
oh, yes.
Is our friend dr.
Dan sullivan.
oh, yes.
he's gonna be pumping your oh, yes.
he's gonna be pumping your mouth-hole full of the 'caine.
he's gonna be pumping your mouth-hole full of the 'caine.
[ laughter .]
Mouth-hole full of the 'caine.
[ laughter .]
what is the legal amount that [ laughter .]
what is the legal amount that you can give? what is the legal amount that you can give? whatever the legal limit You can give? whatever the legal limit is -- whatever the legal limit is -- 2 plus 5.
Is -- 2 plus 5.
Here we go.
2 plus 5.
Here we go.
my god.
Here we go.
my god.
just be careful, doc, because my god.
just be careful, doc, because his blood boils like acid.
just be careful, doc, because his blood boils like acid.
[ laughter .]
His blood boils like acid.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, my god.
oh! Oh! Oh! It's so weird to see this! oh! Oh! Oh! It's so weird to see this! oh, my god! It's so weird to see this! oh, my god! Oh, my god! It's so gross! oh, my god! Oh, my god! It's so gross! I can't take it from just Oh, my god! It's so gross! I can't take it from just watching.
I can't take it from just watching.
what are we doing? Watching.
what are we doing? What are we doing? what are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing to ourselves? What are we doing? What are we doing to ourselves? god! What are we doing to ourselves? god! why are we doing this to god! why are we doing this to ourselves? why are we doing this to ourselves? [ laughs .]
Ourselves? [ laughs .]
how you feeling? [ laughs .]
how you feeling? uh, weird.
how you feeling? uh, weird.
[ laughter .]
uh, weird.
[ laughter .]
that's so disgusting.
[ laughter .]
that's so disgusting.
You already spit with every word that's so disgusting.
You already spit with every word you say.
You already spit with every word you say.
Your mouth's gonna be like a You say.
Your mouth's gonna be like a super soaker.
Your mouth's gonna be like a super soaker.
[ laughter .]
hello.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome, everyone.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome, everyone.
My name Welcome, everyone.
My name [ laughs .]
My name [ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
this is brilliant.
[ laughter .]
this is brilliant.
my name is james murray.
this is brilliant.
my name is james murray.
[ slurring .]
and I'm -- I'm a my name is james murray.
[ slurring .]
and I'm -- I'm a food enthusiast.
[ slurring .]
and I'm -- I'm a food enthusiast.
[ laughter .]
Food enthusiast.
[ laughter .]
I'm very excited today to be [ laughter .]
I'm very excited today to be presenting to you foods from I'm very excited today to be presenting to you foods from different continents that I've Presenting to you foods from different continents that I've traveled to around the world.
Different continents that I've traveled to around the world.
Okay.
Traveled to around the world.
Okay.
This is a traditional italian Okay.
This is a traditional italian dish of spaghetti and meatballs.
This is a traditional italian dish of spaghetti and meatballs.
what is it? What is it? Dish of spaghetti and meatballs.
what is it? What is it? spaghetti and meatballs.
what is it? What is it? spaghetti and meatballs.
[ laughter .]
spaghetti and meatballs.
[ laughter .]
oh, and, of course, to [ laughter .]
oh, and, of course, to complement it, we have Oh, and, of course, to complement it, we have cabernet Complement it, we have cabernet [ laughter .]
Cabernet [ laughter .]
we have a delightful glass of [ laughter .]
we have a delightful glass of cabernet -- cabernet sauvignon.
We have a delightful glass of cabernet -- cabernet sauvignon.
[ laughter .]
Cabernet -- cabernet sauvignon.
[ laughter .]
so, now, most people get [ laughter .]
so, now, most people get spaghetti and meatballs in a so, now, most people get spaghetti and meatballs in a bolognese sauce.
Spaghetti and meatballs in a bolognese sauce.
most people get spaghetti and Bolognese sauce.
most people get spaghetti and meatballs in a bolognese sauce.
most people get spaghetti and meatballs in a bolognese sauce.
[ laughter .]
Meatballs in a bolognese sauce.
[ laughter .]
and, of course, let's not [ laughter .]
and, of course, let's not forget a good, garlicky pesto.
and, of course, let's not forget a good, garlicky pesto.
and let's not forget a good, Forget a good, garlicky pesto.
and let's not forget a good, garlicky pe and let's not forget a good, garlicky pe P-p-pesto sauce.
Garlicky pe P-p-pesto sauce.
[ laughter .]
P-p-pesto sauce.
[ laughter .]
I also like [ laughter .]
I also like I also like I also like I also like Shrimp scampi.
I also like Shrimp scampi.
[ laughs .]
Shrimp scampi.
[ laughs .]
ShrimpScampi.
[ laughs .]
ShrimpScampi.
you know who I heard makes a ShrimpScampi.
you know who I heard makes a stupendous shrimp scampi.
you know who I heard makes a stupendous shrimp scampi.
[ groans .]
Stupendous shrimp scampi.
[ groans .]
you know who I heard makes a [ groans .]
you know who I heard makes a stupendous shrimp scampi.
You know who I heard makes a stupendous shrimp scampi.
susan sarandon.
Stupendous shrimp scampi.
susan sarandon.
aah! susan sarandon.
aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
susan -- susan sarandon makes [ laughter .]
susan -- susan sarandon makes a great shrimp scampi.
susan -- susan sarandon makes a great shrimp scampi.
he sounds like sean connery.
A great shrimp scampi.
he sounds like sean connery.
[ laughter .]
he sounds like sean connery.
[ laughter .]
say "welcome to the rock.
" [ laughter .]
say "welcome to the rock.
" welcome to the rock.
say "welcome to the rock.
" welcome to the rock.
[ laughter .]
welcome to the rock.
[ laughter .]
I can't wait to dig in.
[ laughter .]
I can't wait to dig in.
Let me try some of this I can't wait to dig in.
Let me try some of this spaghetti.
Let me try some of this spaghetti.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna -- I'm gonna sample all [ laughter .]
All [ laughter .]
I'm gonna sample all the food.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna sample all the food.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna sample all the food.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna sample all the food I'm sorry.
I'm gonna sample all the food here.
I'm gonna sample all the food here.
I didn't expect that.
Here.
I didn't expect that.
But I'm gonna dig right in and I didn't expect that.
But I'm gonna dig right in and show you a little bit of the But I'm gonna dig right in and show you a little bit of the flavor of these foods.
Show you a little bit of the flavor of these foods.
Okay, let's try some spaghetti.
Flavor of these foods.
Okay, let's try some spaghetti.
Oh, man.
Okay, let's try some spaghetti.
Oh, man.
[ laughter .]
Oh, man.
[ laughter .]
mmm! [ laughter .]
mmm! [ laughter .]
Mmm! [ laughter .]
it's delicious.
[ laughter .]
it's delicious.
you have spaghetti on your It's delicious.
you have spaghetti on your left you have spaghetti on your left [ laughter .]
Left [ laughter .]
it's perfection.
It's great.
[ laughter .]
it's perfection.
It's great.
go to another cuisine, buddy.
it's perfection.
It's great.
go to another cuisine, buddy.
this is a soft-shell taco.
go to another cuisine, buddy.
this is a soft-shell taco.
I find when you put beef in this is a soft-shell taco.
I find when you put beef in the taco, it's best to braise I find when you put beef in the taco, it's best to braise it.
The taco, it's best to braise it.
I find that when you put beef It.
I find that when you put beef in a taco, it's best to braise I find that when you put beef in a taco, it's best to braise it.
In a taco, it's best to braise it.
braised beef It.
braised beef braised beef braised beef braised beef Is brilliant.
braised beef Is brilliant.
Is Is brilliant.
Is Braised b Is Braised b Braised beef is b Braised b Braised beef is b [ laughter .]
Braised beef is b [ laughter .]
braised beef is brilliant.
[ laughter .]
braised beef is brilliant.
[ laughter .]
Braised beef is brilliant.
[ laughter .]
I've said it once.
[ laughter .]
I've said it once.
I'll say it again.
I've said it once.
I'll say it again.
I've said it once.
I'll say it again.
I've said it once.
I'll say it again.
I've said it once.
I'll say it again.
Braised beef is b I'll say it again.
Braised beef is b Braised beef is brilliant.
Braised beef is b Braised beef is brilliant.
you know who taught me how to Braised beef is brilliant.
you know who taught me how to make these tacos? you know who taught me how to make these tacos? you know who taught me how to Make these tacos? you know who taught me how to make tacos? you know who taught me how to make tacos? bobby flay.
Make tacos? bobby flay.
[ laughs .]
bobby flay.
[ laughs .]
bobby flay.
[ laughs .]
bobby flay.
did any of you here read his bobby flay.
did any of you here read his cookbook? did any of you here read his cookbook? did any of you here read his Cookbook? did any of you here read his cookbook? did any of you here read his cookbook? it was called Cookbook? it was called "bringing you the flavor" it was called "bringing you the flavor" ugh! "bringing you the flavor" ugh! [ laughter .]
ugh! [ laughter .]
"from the backyard [ laughter .]
"from the backyard barbecue.
" "from the backyard barbecue.
" it was called "bringing you Barbecue.
" it was called "bringing you the flavor from the backyard it was called "bringing you the flavor from the backyard barbecue.
" The flavor from the backyard barbecue.
" [ laughter .]
Barbecue.
" [ laughter .]
drink that sweet tea, buddy.
[ laughter .]
drink that sweet tea, buddy.
this is a sweet tea.
drink that sweet tea, buddy.
this is a sweet tea.
Let's try it.
this is a sweet tea.
Let's try it.
finish the whole thing.
Let's try it.
finish the whole thing.
[ laughter .]
finish the whole thing.
[ laughter .]
it's just like a faucet is [ laughter .]
it's just like a faucet is spraying him in the mouth.
it's just like a faucet is spraying him in the mouth.
[ laughter .]
ahh! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
all right, buddy.
all right, buddy.
all right, you did it.
all right, you did it.
yeah! yeah! there we have it -- some there we have it -- some foods from around the world.
Foods from around the world.
and, as I like to say, and, as I like to say, arrivederci.
Arrivederci.
and, as they say in Italy, and, as they say in Italy, arrivederci.

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