Impractical Jokers (2017) s03e23 Episode Script
The Lost Boy
narrator: Coming up Why is q trying to make a point? so, do you ever do ad sales? Why is q trying to make a point? so, do you ever do ad sales? [ laughter and applause .]
so, do you ever do ad sales? [ laughter and applause .]
narrator: What's got murr [ laughter and applause .]
narrator: What's got murr being a creeping tom? narrator: What's got murr being a creeping tom? [ laughs .]
Being a creeping tom? [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's taken to the mat in tonight's narrator: And which joker's taken to the mat in tonight's punishment? Taken to the mat in tonight's punishment? oh! Punishment? oh! prepare for something oh! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
hey, today, we're schmoozing it up at a networking event.
while we mingle with these It up at a networking event.
while we mingle with these business-savvy professionals, while we mingle with these business-savvy professionals, the other guys will be telling Business-savvy professionals, the other guys will be telling us what to say and do.
if you refuse to do anything, you can kiss your assets You can kiss your assets goodbye.
Goodbye.
I really hope somebody's I really hope somebody's hiring 'cause I want out, boys.
Hiring 'cause I want out, boys.
[ laughter .]
hi.
hi.
hi.
val.
Hi, I'm brian.
val.
Hi, I'm brian.
nice to meet you, brian.
nice to meet you, brian.
very nice to meet you.
How are you? very nice to meet you.
How are you? I'm well.
How are you? I'm well.
q, whenever she speaks, point I'm well.
q, whenever she speaks, point at her.
q, whenever she speaks, point at her.
you know, I'd love to talk to At her.
you know, I'd love to talk to you as a person.
you know, I'd love to talk to you as a person.
definitely.
You as a person.
definitely.
[ laughs .]
definitely.
[ laughs .]
it's really a great [ laughs .]
it's really a great opportunity.
it's really a great opportunity.
yeah.
Opportunity.
yeah.
point to yourself when you yeah.
point to yourself when you talk.
point to yourself when you talk.
and, actually, that was made Talk.
and, actually, that was made by me.
and, actually, that was made by me.
that's -- I mean, that's By me.
that's -- I mean, that's pretty awesome.
that's -- I mean, that's pretty awesome.
[ laughs .]
Pretty awesome.
[ laughs .]
and how long have you been [ laughs .]
and how long have you been there? and how long have you been there? [ laughs .]
There? [ laughs .]
three months.
[ laughs .]
three months.
three months ago.
three months.
three months ago.
yeah.
three months ago.
yeah.
oh, so you're new there.
yeah.
oh, so you're new there.
I've been doing "quindustries" oh, so you're new there.
I've been doing "quindustries" for about three years now.
I've been doing "quindustries" for about three years now.
okay, great.
For about three years now.
okay, great.
keep doing it.
okay, great.
keep doing it.
oh! keep doing it.
oh! [ laughter and applause .]
oh! [ laughter and applause .]
do you ever do ad sales? [ laughter and applause .]
do you ever do ad sales? no, but, you know, I'm do you ever do ad sales? no, but, you know, I'm interested in no, but, you know, I'm interested in yeah? Interested in yeah? yeah.
yeah? yeah.
maybe in the future.
yeah.
maybe in the future.
Yeah, we'll maybe in the future.
Yeah, we'll okay, yeah, all right.
Yeah, we'll okay, yeah, all right.
[ laughter and applause .]
okay, yeah, all right.
[ laughter and applause .]
go higher with the points.
[ laughter and applause .]
go higher with the points.
where are you from? go higher with the points.
where are you from? I grew up in where are you from? I grew up in westchester county.
I grew up in westchester county.
And you, yourself? Westchester county.
And you, yourself? staten island.
And you, yourself? staten island.
What is your background? staten island.
What is your background? polish and italian, so What is your background? polish and italian, so hey, all right.
polish and italian, so hey, all right.
So maybe I'd be like, "valski, hey, all right.
So maybe I'd be like, "valski, what's up?" So maybe I'd be like, "valski, what's up?" and I'd be like, "nothing, What's up?" and I'd be like, "nothing, really, brian.
" and I'd be like, "nothing, really, brian.
" [ laughter and applause .]
Really, brian.
" [ laughter and applause .]
I really like you.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter and applause .]
[ laughter and applause .]
joe.
What's up, man? joe.
What's up, man? How's everything? How's everything? You doing all right? You doing all right? Good, good.
Good, good.
so, what we do is we're a so, what we do is we're a digital-marketing agency.
digital marketing.
Digital-marketing agency.
digital marketing.
joe, play dice under the digital marketing.
joe, play dice under the table.
joe, play dice under the table.
[ laughs .]
Table.
[ laughs .]
okay.
[ laughs .]
okay.
web developers who know -- okay.
web developers who know -- with the web developers who know -- with the really? Right.
With the really? Right.
[ laughter .]
really? Right.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! keep playing dice under the oh, my god! keep playing dice under the table.
keep playing dice under the table.
can't you tell? Table.
can't you tell? I feel like it's energy.
can't you tell? I feel like it's energy.
There's an energy down there.
I feel like it's energy.
There's an energy down there.
[ laughter .]
There's an energy down there.
[ laughter .]
[ applause .]
[ laughter .]
[ applause .]
a little more pronounced, so [ applause .]
a little more pronounced, so he notices.
a little more pronounced, so he notices.
it's kind of hard to go.
He notices.
it's kind of hard to go.
right.
it's kind of hard to go.
right.
[ laughter .]
right.
[ laughter .]
and, then, also, what I'm [ laughter .]
and, then, also, what I'm trying to do is start a personal and, then, also, what I'm trying to do is start a personal website forHi-yyyow! Trying to do is start a personal website forHi-yyyow! [ laughter .]
Website forHi-yyyow! [ laughter .]
joe, get him to shake your [ laughter .]
joe, get him to shake your hand or you lose.
joe, get him to shake your hand or you lose.
I mean, you're one of the Hand or you lose.
I mean, you're one of the guys that I've learned the most I mean, you're one of the guys that I've learned the most from here tonight, man.
Guys that I've learned the most from here tonight, man.
I really appreciate that.
From here tonight, man.
I really appreciate that.
[ chuckles .]
I really appreciate that.
[ chuckles .]
yeah, it's a pleasure.
[ chuckles .]
yeah, it's a pleasure.
he won't shake his hand! yeah, it's a pleasure.
he won't shake his hand! He won't shake his hand! he won't shake his hand! He won't shake his hand! [ laughter .]
He won't shake his hand! [ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
yeah! how are you? hello.
I work in fashion.
hello.
I work in fashion.
okay, you work in fashion? okay, you work in fashion? yes.
What about you? me? yes.
What about you? me? yeah.
me? yeah.
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
yeah.
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ chuckles .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ chuckles .]
so, uh, so [ chuckles .]
so, uh, so [ laughter .]
So, uh, so [ laughter .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ laughter .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ laughter .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ laughter .]
a gynecologist.
[ laughter .]
a gynecologist.
A gynecologist.
a gynecologist.
A gynecologist.
a gynecologist.
A gynecologist.
a gynecologist.
dude.
a gynecologist.
dude.
I don't believe he said it! dude.
I don't believe he said it! perfect.
I don't believe he said it! perfect.
how are you? perfect.
how are you? netsanet.
how are you? netsanet.
oh, sal.
netsanet.
oh, sal.
sal, when you shake her hand, oh, sal.
sal, when you shake her hand, give her, like, a limp fish.
sal, when you shake her hand, give her, like, a limp fish.
sal.
Give her, like, a limp fish.
sal.
pleasure to meet you.
sal.
pleasure to meet you.
nice to meet you.
pleasure to meet you.
nice to meet you.
thank you very much.
nice to meet you.
thank you very much.
okay.
thank you very much.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
buddy, you find two other [ laughter .]
buddy, you find two other times to give her a limp-fish buddy, you find two other times to give her a limp-fish handshake.
Times to give her a limp-fish handshake.
what was it that you said Handshake.
what was it that you said that you did? what was it that you said that you did? well, right now, I just That you did? well, right now, I just started a website.
well, right now, I just started a website.
I mean, congratulations.
Started a website.
I mean, congratulations.
That's amazing.
I mean, congratulations.
That's amazing.
thank you.
That's amazing.
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
well, we haven't launched [ laughter .]
well, we haven't launched yet, and it's gonna be launching well, we haven't launched yet, and it's gonna be launching in April, so -- Yet, and it's gonna be launching in April, so -- you'll launch in April? In April, so -- you'll launch in April? That's unbelievable.
you'll launch in April? That's unbelievable.
Congratulations.
That's unbelievable.
Congratulations.
[ laughter .]
Congratulations.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
so nice to meet you.
thank you.
so nice to meet you.
nice to meet you.
so nice to meet you.
nice to meet you.
thank you so much.
nice to meet you.
thank you so much.
[ ding! .]
sir, how are you? All right! All right! Nice to meet you.
How are you? Nice to meet you.
How are you? good.
How are you doing? good.
How are you doing? hey, murray, misuse air hey, murray, misuse air quotes with this guy.
so, I'm here as a member of a Quotes with this guy.
so, I'm here as a member of a financing and accounting so, I'm here as a member of a financing and accounting consultancy.
Financing and accounting consultancy.
great.
Consultancy.
great.
what about you? great.
what about you? well, I work in pharmac-- what about you? well, I work in pharmac-- I work "in" pharmaceuticals.
well, I work in pharmac-- I work "in" pharmaceuticals.
[ laughter .]
I work "in" pharmaceuticals.
[ laughter .]
what I do is go around to [ laughter .]
what I do is go around to "different" hospitals.
What I do is go around to "different" hospitals.
Basically, "it's" a sales job.
"different" hospitals.
Basically, "it's" a sales job.
[ laughter .]
Basically, "it's" a sales job.
[ laughter .]
how long you been doing what you [ laughter .]
how long you been doing what you do? How long you been doing what you do? start air-quoting him.
Do? start air-quoting him.
so, we've been doing this for start air-quoting him.
so, we've been doing this for about four years.
so, we've been doing this for about four years.
[ laughter .]
About four years.
[ laughter .]
here in new york city for about [ laughter .]
here in new york city for about a year -- in las vegas before Here in new york city for about a year -- in las vegas before that.
A year -- in las vegas before that.
got it.
That.
got it.
[ laughter .]
got it.
[ laughter .]
don't say anything else and [ laughter .]
don't say anything else and just air-quote.
don't say anything else and just air-quote.
um -- Just air-quote.
um -- nah, no.
um -- nah, no.
No, stop talking -- air quote.
nah, no.
No, stop talking -- air quote.
Air quote.
No, stop talking -- air quote.
Air quote.
[ breathes sharply .]
Air quote.
[ breathes sharply .]
air quote.
Air quote.
[ breathes sharply .]
air quote.
Air quote.
[ sighs .]
air quote.
Air quote.
[ sighs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
dusta.
Nice to meet you.
hi, dusta.
dusta.
Nice to meet you.
hi, dusta.
Nice to meet you.
hi, dusta.
Nice to meet you.
what do you do? Nice to meet you.
what do you do? murr, convince this girl what do you do? murr, convince this girl you're an architect.
murr, convince this girl you're an architect.
[ laughter .]
You're an architect.
[ laughter .]
I'm an architect.
[ laughter .]
I'm an architect.
you're an architect? I'm an architect.
you're an architect? I am.
you're an architect? I am.
my father was an architect.
I am.
my father was an architect.
your father was an architect? my father was an architect.
your father was an architect? oh, that's serendipitous.
your father was an architect? oh, that's serendipitous.
ah.
oh, that's serendipitous.
ah.
your [bleep.]
is about to be ah.
your [bleep.]
is about to be called out.
your [bleep.]
is about to be called out.
designed the white house -- Called out.
designed the white house -- the fireplace in designed the white house -- the fireplace in the white house.
The fireplace in the white house.
your father designed parts of The white house.
your father designed parts of the white house? your father designed parts of the white house? [ laughter and applause .]
The white house? [ laughter and applause .]
so, your father went to [ laughter and applause .]
so, your father went to architecture school, too? So, your father went to architecture school, too? "you know what school I went Architecture school, too? "you know what school I went to?" you know what school I went to? To? there you go.
Good luck.
there you go.
Good luck.
[ laughter .]
the, uh, I went to united [ laughter .]
the, uh, I went to united architecture university the, uh, I went to united architecture university okay.
Architecture university okay.
Of ohio.
okay.
Of ohio.
Uaa [laughs.]
uaao -- have you Of ohio.
Uaa [laughs.]
uaao -- have you heard of it? Uaa [laughs.]
uaao -- have you heard of it? no.
Heard of it? no.
[ laughter and applause .]
no.
[ laughter and applause .]
tell her about what you [ laughter and applause .]
tell her about what you designed, buddy.
tell her about what you designed, buddy.
I did a -- I did a broom Designed, buddy.
I did a -- I did a broom closet at the guggenheim.
she goes to the guggenheim.
Wow.
[ laughter and applause .]
Wow.
[ laughter and applause .]
it's the -- the northwest [ laughter and applause .]
it's the -- the northwest corner of the guggenheim.
it's the -- the northwest corner of the guggenheim.
there's no corners -- it's a Corner of the guggenheim.
there's no corners -- it's a spiral, you idiot.
there's no corners -- it's a spiral, you idiot.
[ laughter .]
Spiral, you idiot.
[ laughter .]
"let me ask you one [ laughter .]
"let me ask you one question.
" "let me ask you one question.
" let me ask you one question.
Question.
" let me ask you one question.
"do you believe I'm an let me ask you one question.
"do you believe I'm an architect?" "do you believe I'm an architect?" and if she says "no," you lose.
Architect?" and if she says "no," you lose.
ohh.
no.
[ laughter .]
this turn didn't go as I [ laughter .]
this turn didn't go as I expected.
this turn didn't go as I expected.
[ laughter .]
Expected.
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Looks like joe and [ buzzer .]
narrator: Looks like joe and murr will be having a power narrator: Looks like joe and murr will be having a power lunch on the loser board.
Murr will be having a power lunch on the loser board.
today, we are teaming up to Lunch on the loser board.
today, we are teaming up to give a presentation on the art today, we are teaming up to give a presentation on the art of photography.
Give a presentation on the art of photography.
but the slides of the Of photography.
but the slides of the presentation have been made by but the slides of the presentation have been made by the other team.
at the end, we'll ask the class to raise their hands if Class to raise their hands if they found the presentation They found the presentation helpful.
Helpful.
whichever team gets the whichever team gets the fewest hands raised loses.
Fewest hands raised loses.
all: Cheese, mother [bleep.]
all: Cheese, mother [bleep.]
[ camera shutter clicks .]
hello.
Hi.
hi.
hi.
hey, how you doing? hey, how you doing? I'm brian.
This is sal.
I'm brian.
This is sal.
we're gonna give you a run-through on some beginner we're gonna give you a run-through on some beginner tips, tricks, and techniques.
Run-through on some beginner tips, tricks, and techniques.
Okay, so let's get going.
Tips, tricks, and techniques.
Okay, so let's get going.
the five rules of Okay, so let's get going.
the five rules of composition -- the five rules of composition -- Composition -- for me, that's where the for me, that's where the photo begins.
for me, that's where the photo begins.
2 -- fill the frame.
Photo begins.
2 -- fill the frame.
right.
2 -- fill the frame.
right.
3 -- frame the phil, which right.
3 -- frame the phil, which means, if you're taking a 3 -- frame the phil, which means, if you're taking a picture of phil, just make sure Means, if you're taking a picture of phil, just make sure you get him in there right.
Picture of phil, just make sure you get him in there right.
[ laughs .]
You get him in there right.
[ laughs .]
4 -- who framed phil? [ laughs .]
4 -- who framed phil? [ laughs .]
4 -- who framed phil? [ laughs .]
excellent question.
And 5 Phil's doing 5 to 15 for Phil's doing 5 to 15 for forgery.
Forgery.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
phil didn't forge anything.
Phil didn't forge anything.
well, someone framed phil.
who? Who framed phil? well, someone framed phil.
who? Who framed phil? phil's innocent, is what who? Who framed phil? phil's innocent, is what we're saying.
phil's innocent, is what we're saying.
right.
We're saying.
right.
so, how would you take a right.
so, how would you take a picture of him? so, how would you take a picture of him? Very light tones.
Picture of him? Very light tones.
[ laughing .]
what? Very light tones.
[ laughing .]
what? so, there's different types [ laughing .]
what? so, there's different types of photography, right? so, there's different types of photography, right? Night time photography.
Of photography, right? Night time photography.
[ laughter .]
Night time photography.
[ laughter .]
this is a picture of the [ laughter .]
this is a picture of the eiffel tower.
This is a picture of the eiffel tower.
[ laughs .]
Eiffel tower.
[ laughs .]
uh, all right, so, competing [ laughs .]
uh, all right, so, competing focal points -- what do your uh, all right, so, competing focal points -- what do your eyes see first, okay? Focal points -- what do your eyes see first, okay? okay, very good.
Eyes see first, okay? okay, very good.
Dumb baby.
okay, very good.
Dumb baby.
[ laughter .]
you noticed that it was a baby.
Baby.
Did you notice the -- Did you notice the -- [laughing.]
the old man from [laughing.]
the old man from "gremlins"? "gremlins"? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
you could buy a mogwai off this guy.
you could buy a mogwai off this guy.
[ laughter .]
This guy.
[ laughter .]
okay, so, print sizes -- do [ laughter .]
okay, so, print sizes -- do women care about the size of okay, so, print sizes -- do women care about the size of your megapixel? Women care about the size of your megapixel? [ laughter .]
Your megapixel? [ laughter .]
women care? [ laughter .]
women care? [ laughter .]
women care? [ laughter .]
women do care about the size of [ laughter .]
women do care about the size of the megapixel? Women do care about the size of the megapixel? [ laughter .]
The megapixel? [ laughter .]
okay.
Professional photos [ laughter .]
okay.
Professional photos we've taken.
okay.
Professional photos we've taken.
Uh.
We've taken.
Uh.
[ laughter .]
Uh.
[ laughter .]
uh, I mean, you -- you all [ laughter .]
uh, I mean, you -- you all can see what this is, right? uh, I mean, you -- you all can see what this is, right? I took a picture of my Can see what this is, right? I took a picture of my girlfriend's belly button.
I took a picture of my girlfriend's belly button.
that hairy belly is your Girlfriend's belly button.
that hairy belly is your girlfriend? that hairy belly is your girlfriend? [ laughter .]
that's a great question.
yeah.
Applying what we learned.
yeah.
Applying what we learned.
that's it? Applying what we learned.
that's it? You just flat-out ignored the that's it? You just flat-out ignored the question? You just flat-out ignored the question? [ chuckles .]
Question? [ chuckles .]
where's this guy going? [ chuckles .]
where's this guy going? oh, you got to -- you're where's this guy going? oh, you got to -- you're leaving? oh, you got to -- you're leaving? [ laughter .]
Leaving? [ laughter .]
he's leaving, too? [ laughter .]
he's leaving, too? I mean, the class has left.
he's leaving, too? I mean, the class has left.
class left.
I mean, the class has left.
class left.
[ laughs .]
class left.
[ laughs .]
so, by show of hands, you [ laughs .]
so, by show of hands, you would say you guys learned so, by show of hands, you would say you guys learned something in thisEven? Would say you guys learned something in thisEven? [ laughs .]
Something in thisEven? [ laughs .]
I think this might be the [ laughs .]
I think this might be the first time we got a negative, I think this might be the first time we got a negative, like a negative 2, because two First time we got a negative, like a negative 2, because two people left.
Like a negative 2, because two people left.
well, we appreciate your People left.
well, we appreciate your time.
well, we appreciate your time.
all right.
Time.
all right.
[ laughs .]
all right.
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
murray's standing there, [ buzzer .]
murray's standing there, telling me that he thinks he has murray's standing there, telling me that he thinks he has an advantage over us.
well, remember, joe's taken photography classes before.
Photography classes before.
photos by joe gatto -- photos by joe gatto -- gattography.
Com.
[ glissando plays .]
Gattography.
Com.
[ glissando plays .]
"gattography.
" [ glissando plays .]
"gattography.
" [ laughs .]
"gattography.
" [ laughs .]
you mashed your own name with [ laughs .]
you mashed your own name with "photography"? you mashed your own name with "photography"? that's neither here nor "photography"? that's neither here nor there.
that's neither here nor there.
As long as no one leaves, we There.
As long as no one leaves, we win.
As long as no one leaves, we win.
that's it.
Win.
that's it.
[ laughs .]
that's it.
[ laughs .]
I mean, that's what we're up [ laughs .]
I mean, that's what we're up against.
I mean, that's what we're up against.
[ chuckles .]
Against.
[ chuckles .]
they really got us there.
[ chuckles .]
they really got us there.
hi, everybody.
they really got us there.
hi, everybody.
hi, guys.
hi, everybody.
hi, guys.
how are you? hi, guys.
how are you? make yourself comfortable.
how are you? make yourself comfortable.
My name's james murray.
make yourself comfortable.
My name's james murray.
Nice to meet you all.
My name's james murray.
Nice to meet you all.
I am joe gatto.
Nice to meet you all.
I am joe gatto.
let's take it through some of I am joe gatto.
let's take it through some of our presentation.
let's take it through some of our presentation.
Tripod -- it lets you shoot at Our presentation.
Tripod -- it lets you shoot at higher speeds.
Tripod -- it lets you shoot at higher speeds.
It holds the camera more sturdy.
Higher speeds.
It holds the camera more sturdy.
helps to stabilize images.
It holds the camera more sturdy.
helps to stabilize images.
It reduces blur, of course, you helps to stabilize images.
It reduces blur, of course, you know, especially in darker, It reduces blur, of course, you know, especially in darker, lower-light situations.
Know, especially in darker, lower-light situations.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
the best backgrounds for portraits.
that'll make somebody pop Portraits.
that'll make somebody pop right out.
that'll make somebody pop right out.
mm-hmm.
Right out.
mm-hmm.
A black background -- very mm-hmm.
A black background -- very dramatic, very tense, very moody A black background -- very dramatic, very tense, very moody kind of feel.
Dramatic, very tense, very moody kind of feel.
[ guitar strums .]
Kind of feel.
[ guitar strums .]
mexican background.
[ guitar strums .]
mexican background.
a lot of fun.
mexican background.
a lot of fun.
It's like a fiesta.
a lot of fun.
It's like a fiesta.
and he also, heritage-wise, It's like a fiesta.
and he also, heritage-wise, has a mexican background, so and he also, heritage-wise, has a mexican background, so many layers.
Has a mexican background, so many layers.
[ laughter .]
Many layers.
[ laughter .]
okay, applying what we've [ laughter .]
okay, applying what we've learned -- what we're gonna do okay, applying what we've learned -- what we're gonna do is take you through some photos.
Learned -- what we're gonna do is take you through some photos.
[ chuckles .]
Is take you through some photos.
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
if you had to describe the [ laughter .]
if you had to describe the feeling here that I want to If you had to describe the feeling here that I want to evoke from the viewer, what Feeling here that I want to evoke from the viewer, what would it be? [ laughing .]
creepy? that's right -- creepy.
that's right -- creepy.
creepy? creepy? A peeping tom? A peeping tom? a peeping tom? Yeah.
a peeping tom? Yeah.
both: Skulking.
both: Skulking.
wow, murr.
wow, murr.
It's like they know you.
[ laughing .]
okay.
Okay.
It's like they know you.
[ laughing .]
okay.
Okay.
that one.
[ laughing .]
okay.
Okay.
that one.
okay.
that one.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
a couple things about this -- [ laughter .]
a couple things about this -- my mouth is wide open, a couple things about this -- my mouth is wide open, accentuating the multiple chins My mouth is wide open, accentuating the multiple chins that I have.
Accentuating the multiple chins that I have.
[ laughs .]
That I have.
[ laughs .]
my nose looks huge in it, [ laughs .]
my nose looks huge in it, with the light bouncing off and my nose looks huge in it, with the light bouncing off and keeping half my face in shadow.
With the light bouncing off and keeping half my face in shadow.
I've decided to keep one red Keeping half my face in shadow.
I've decided to keep one red eye, fix the other.
I've decided to keep one red eye, fix the other.
And you can clearly see my Eye, fix the other.
And you can clearly see my thinning hairline.
And you can clearly see my thinning hairline.
Most would call this Thinning hairline.
Most would call this embarrassing.
Most would call this embarrassing.
I just call it the way of life.
Embarrassing.
I just call it the way of life.
[ laughter .]
I just call it the way of life.
[ laughter .]
okay, so, what we like to do [ laughter .]
okay, so, what we like to do at the end here is, by show of okay, so, what we like to do at the end here is, by show of hands At the end here is, by show of hands dude, this isn't looking too Hands dude, this isn't looking too good for us, man.
dude, this isn't looking too good for us, man.
get up! Get up and leave! Good for us, man.
get up! Get up and leave! this is not looking good for get up! Get up and leave! this is not looking good for us.
this is not looking good for us.
how many of you feel you've Us.
how many of you feel you've learned something of value how many of you feel you've learned something of value today? Learned something of value today? [ laughing .]
seriously, no one? Today? [ laughing .]
seriously, no one? No one? [ laughing .]
seriously, no one? No one? [ laughter .]
No one? [ laughter .]
which really doesn't matter, [ laughter .]
which really doesn't matter, 'cause nobody left, right? which really doesn't matter, 'cause nobody left, right? you guys have been great.
'cause nobody left, right? you guys have been great.
yeah, yeah.
you guys have been great.
yeah, yeah.
ohh! yeah, yeah.
ohh! beats negative 2.
ohh! beats negative 2.
[ ding! .]
beats negative 2.
[ ding! .]
ohh! [ ding! .]
ohh! narrator: The results are ohh! narrator: The results are black-and-white.
narrator: The results are black-and-white.
Q and sal have officially joined Black-and-white.
Q and sal have officially joined the loser board.
Q and sal have officially joined the loser board.
Called "beat the clock.
" The loser board.
Called "beat the clock.
" we've only got 15 seconds to Called "beat the clock.
" we've only got 15 seconds to complete a crazy task given to we've only got 15 seconds to complete a crazy task given to us by the other guys.
Complete a crazy task given to us by the other guys.
if you can't complete the Us by the other guys.
if you can't complete the task by the time the shot clock if you can't complete the task by the time the shot clock hits zero, then you lose.
Task by the time the shot clock hits zero, then you lose.
joker vs.
Joker, q vs.
Murr.
Hits zero, then you lose.
joker vs.
Joker, q vs.
Murr.
no! joker vs.
Joker, q vs.
Murr.
no! [ buzzer .]
no! [ buzzer .]
when did that rule come in? [ laughs .]
all right, fellas.
all right, fellas.
here we go.
here we go.
All right, bud.
All right, bud.
15 seconds.
I got it.
15 seconds.
I got it.
15 seconds on the clock, my 15 seconds on the clock, my friend.
what do you got? Friend.
what do you got? all you need to do is polish what do you got? all you need to do is polish somebody's shoes without them all you need to do is polish somebody's shoes without them noticing.
Somebody's shoes without them noticing.
oh, that's hard.
Noticing.
oh, that's hard.
yeah.
oh, that's hard.
yeah.
they can't notice me yeah.
they can't notice me polishing their shoe? they can't notice me polishing their shoe? yeah, that's "without Polishing their shoe? yeah, that's "without noticing" means.
yeah, that's "without noticing" means.
right.
Noticing" means.
right.
[ laughs .]
right.
[ laughs .]
how? [ laughs .]
how? what -- what do you want -- how? what -- what do you want -- help from us? what -- what do you want -- help from us? [ chuckles .]
Help from us? [ chuckles .]
I don't have anything to [ chuckles .]
I don't have anything to polish with.
I don't have anything to polish with.
use your hands or your shirt.
Polish with.
use your hands or your shirt.
okay, okay.
Wait.
I got it.
use your hands or your shirt.
okay, okay.
Wait.
I got it.
sock? okay, okay.
Wait.
I got it.
sock? okay.
sock? okay.
the sock.
Sock's a move.
okay.
the sock.
Sock's a move.
oh, my god, that's gross.
the sock.
Sock's a move.
oh, my god, that's gross.
I wouldn't pay -- if I went oh, my god, that's gross.
I wouldn't pay -- if I went to get my shoes polished and the I wouldn't pay -- if I went to get my shoes polished and the guy took off his sock, I would To get my shoes polished and the guy took off his sock, I would say that's not a Guy took off his sock, I would say that's not a "I'm good, thanks.
" Say that's not a "I'm good, thanks.
" [ laughter and applause .]
and go! here we go.
here we go.
go.
Here we go.
go.
Here we go.
the clock is going.
the clock is going.
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
He's like a gazelle.
He's like a gazelle.
together: 65 together: 65 wow! He's going underneath! wow! He's going underneath! together: 321.
together: 321.
[ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughter .]
did he see me? [ laughter .]
did he see me? I got a good rub.
did he see me? I got a good rub.
he definitely noticed.
I got a good rub.
he definitely noticed.
So you have 15 seconds to bite he definitely noticed.
So you have 15 seconds to bite somebody on their arm.
So you have 15 seconds to bite somebody on their arm.
[ laughter .]
Somebody on their arm.
[ laughter .]
I have to bite someone on [ laughter .]
I have to bite someone on their arm? I have to bite someone on their arm? sure.
Their arm? sure.
[ bleep .]
sure.
[ bleep .]
sure.
Although she's not -- [ bleep .]
sure.
Although she's not -- aah! sure.
Although she's not -- aah! [ laughs .]
Aah! [ laughs .]
why would you do that? [ laughs .]
why would you do that? I win.
why would you do that? I win.
Ready, murr? Here we go.
I win.
Ready, murr? Here we go.
[ ding! .]
okay.
okay.
go! go! there he is.
there he is.
together: 65 together: 65 sir, how are you today? sir, how are you today? together: 432 together: 432 what is -- what is -- oh! oh! [ laughing .]
[ laughing .]
holy [bleep.]
holy [bleep.]
well, I'm so sorry.
[ laughing .]
it just looked so well, I'm so sorry.
[ laughing .]
it just looked so good.
[ laughing .]
it just looked so good.
Wow, that's weird.
Good.
Wow, that's weird.
Sorry about that.
Wow, that's weird.
Sorry about that.
Oh, wow.
Sorry about that.
Oh, wow.
wow.
Oh, wow.
wow.
how is he not getting punched wow.
how is he not getting punched in the [bleep.]
grille? how is he not getting punched in the [bleep.]
grille? good job, murr.
In the [bleep.]
grille? good job, murr.
[ ding! .]
good job, murr.
[ ding! .]
[ chuckles .]
this one's a walk in the park, bud.
Park, bud.
literally.
literally.
you got 15 seconds to get a you got 15 seconds to get a feminine product.
[ laughter .]
Feminine product.
[ laughter .]
boom! [ laughter .]
boom! [ laughter and applause .]
Boom! [ laughter and applause .]
here we go.
And go! [ laughter and applause .]
here we go.
And go! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! here we go.
And go! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What counts as a feminine wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What counts as a feminine product? What counts as a feminine product? a product a feminine uses.
Product? a product a feminine uses.
a product a feminine uses.
a product a feminine uses.
a product a feminine uses.
like a hairbrush? a product a feminine uses.
like a hairbrush? no.
like a hairbrush? no.
no.
no.
no.
no.
Sanitary.
no.
no.
Sanitary.
[ laughter .]
no.
Sanitary.
[ laughter .]
buddy, most women, [ laughter .]
buddy, most women, statistically, have it on them.
buddy, most women, statistically, have it on them.
yes, true.
Statistically, have it on them.
yes, true.
yeah, but -- but wait a yes, true.
yeah, but -- but wait a second.
yeah, but -- but wait a second.
Wait a second.
Second.
Wait a second.
It may take them longer than Wait a second.
It may take them longer than It may take them longer than purse.
purse.
you need more than Purse.
you need more than you need more than yeah, I need more than yeah, I need more than yeah, I need more than we'll give you 30 seconds.
we'll give you 30 seconds.
30 seconds.
we'll give you 30 seconds.
30 seconds.
that gives her plenty of 30 seconds.
that gives her plenty of time that gives her plenty of time yes.
Time yes.
To reach into the purse yes.
To reach into the purse and get it out.
To reach into the purse and get it out.
okay.
And get it out.
okay.
30 seconds coming at you.
okay.
30 seconds coming at you.
a lot can be done in 30 seconds coming at you.
a lot can be done in a lot can be done in I can do most things in I can do most things in I can do most things in I was conceived in I was conceived in I was conceived in [ laughter .]
operation t-pon.
Here we go.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
go! go! oh! All right.
oh! All right.
Boom! Boom! it's on.
You're on the clock.
it's on.
You're on the clock.
excuse me.
Excuse me.
excuse me.
Excuse me.
Um, do you have a, um Um, do you have a, um [ laughter and applause .]
[ laughter and applause .]
get someone else, bud.
get someone else, bud.
hurry up.
hurry up.
excuse me.
excuse me.
This is really embarrassing.
This is really embarrassing.
Do you have, um, a tampon for my Do you have, um, a tampon for my friend? Friend? You don't? You don't? ohh! ohh! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
uh.
Oh, come on.
uh.
Oh, come on.
I'll ask, honey.
I'll ask, honey.
I'll try.
I'll try.
I'll try.
I'll try.
This is embarrassing for me, but This is embarrassing for me, but do you guys, by any chance -- Do you guys, by any chance -- are you with them? Are you with them? Yeah, cool.
Yeah, cool.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Okay, not doing that in front of Okay, not doing that in front of their father.
Their father.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
you're done.
you're done.
ohh.
[ buzzer .]
ohh.
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter and applause .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter and applause .]
narrator: Q couldn't go with [ laughter and applause .]
narrator: Q couldn't go with the flow, so he's tonight's big narrator: Q couldn't go with the flow, so he's tonight's big loser.
The flow, so he's tonight's big loser.
all right! Loser.
all right! Here we go.
all right! Here we go.
Q is tonight's big loser.
Here we go.
Q is tonight's big loser.
okay, buddy, you're gonna Q is tonight's big loser.
okay, buddy, you're gonna have to go out there in front of okay, buddy, you're gonna have to go out there in front of a crowd of theatergoers, Have to go out there in front of a crowd of theatergoers, onstage, and join a musical A crowd of theatergoers, onstage, and join a musical already in progress.
Onstage, and join a musical already in progress.
while wearing that.
Already in progress.
while wearing that.
[ laughter .]
while wearing that.
[ laughter .]
so nice.
[ laughter .]
so nice.
yes, sir! so nice.
yes, sir! oh, that's awesome.
yes, sir! oh, that's awesome.
That's amazing.
oh, that's awesome.
That's amazing.
No -- no rehearsal for me, no That's amazing.
No -- no rehearsal for me, no line? No -- no rehearsal for me, no line? who needs lines when you got Line? who needs lines when you got the costume, bud? who needs lines when you got the costume, bud? you're gonna be "pan-tastic.
" The costume, bud? you're gonna be "pan-tastic.
" ohh.
you're gonna be "pan-tastic.
" ohh.
hey! ohh.
hey! what q doesn't know is that hey! what q doesn't know is that there's no musical.
what q doesn't know is that there's no musical.
no.
There's no musical.
no.
we are backstage at a no.
we are backstage at a professional wrestling event.
we are backstage at a professional wrestling event.
[ crowd ohhs .]
Professional wrestling event.
[ crowd ohhs .]
this is -- this is so stupid.
[ crowd ohhs .]
this is -- this is so stupid.
and he's gonna get the this is -- this is so stupid.
and he's gonna get the [bleep.]
beat out of him.
and he's gonna get the [bleep.]
beat out of him.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
beat out of him.
[ laughter .]
peter pan's about to have a [ laughter .]
peter pan's about to have a bad day.
peter pan's about to have a bad day.
[ cheers and applause .]
Bad day.
[ cheers and applause .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
all right, bud.
[ indistinct shouting .]
all right, bud.
here we go.
all right, bud.
here we go.
take your blindfold off and here we go.
take your blindfold off and go through that curtain.
take your blindfold off and go through that curtain.
all right, so I'm just gonna Go through that curtain.
all right, so I'm just gonna go out there and make a fool out all right, so I'm just gonna go out there and make a fool out of myself? Go out there and make a fool out of myself? buddy, it's showtime.
Of myself? buddy, it's showtime.
[ laughter .]
buddy, it's showtime.
[ laughter .]
[ whimsical music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ whimsical music plays .]
everything here is pretty [ whimsical music plays .]
everything here is pretty and true everything here is pretty and true from my friends in the forest And true from my friends in the forest to the ocean so blue from my friends in the forest to the ocean so blue my castle is flooded To the ocean so blue my castle is flooded in the daily sun my castle is flooded in the daily sun you're about to wrestle, In the daily sun you're about to wrestle, bitch! you're about to wrestle, bitch! yeah! Bitch! yeah! yes! yeah! yes! [ laughter .]
yes! [ laughter .]
good luck, petey.
[ laughter .]
good luck, petey.
the crowd's gonna kill him.
good luck, petey.
the crowd's gonna kill him.
oh, you're gonna get killed.
the crowd's gonna kill him.
oh, you're gonna get killed.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh, you're gonna get killed.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh, my god.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh, my god.
They want blood.
oh, my god.
They want blood.
They already want blood.
They want blood.
They already want blood.
he almost hurt himself just They already want blood.
he almost hurt himself just getting into the ring.
he almost hurt himself just getting into the ring.
take the mike.
Getting into the ring.
take the mike.
Get the mike.
take the mike.
Get the mike.
we have a little speech for Get the mike.
we have a little speech for you, buddy.
we have a little speech for you, buddy.
You ready? You, buddy.
You ready? hi.
You ready? hi.
[ indistinct shouting .]
hi.
[ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm cutie pie, and I came to [ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm cutie pie, and I came to tell you one thing.
" "I'm cutie pie, and I came to tell you one thing.
" all right, I'm -- I'm Tell you one thing.
" all right, I'm -- I'm cutie pie all right, I'm -- I'm cutie pie [ indistinct shouting .]
Cutie pie [ indistinct shouting .]
And I came to tell you one [ indistinct shouting .]
And I came to tell you one thing.
And I came to tell you one thing.
"I love to cuddle.
" Thing.
"I love to cuddle.
" [ laughter and applause .]
"I love to cuddle.
" [ laughter and applause .]
I love to cuddle.
[ laughter and applause .]
I love to cuddle.
[ feedback whines .]
I love to cuddle.
[ feedback whines .]
[ crowd boos .]
[ feedback whines .]
[ crowd boos .]
[ laughs .]
[ crowd boos .]
[ laughs .]
"everyone, yell out your [ laughs .]
"everyone, yell out your favorite scene from "everyone, yell out your favorite scene from 'the notebook.
'" Favorite scene from 'the notebook.
'" [ laughter .]
'the notebook.
'" [ laughter .]
everybody, right now, yell [ laughter .]
everybody, right now, yell out your favorite scene from everybody, right now, yell out your favorite scene from "the notebook.
" Out your favorite scene from "the notebook.
" [ crowd booing .]
"the notebook.
" [ crowd booing .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ crowd booing .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm gonna copy and paste my [ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word "I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word document" Opponent into a word document" I'm gonna copy and paste my Document" I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word document I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word document "And then delete it!" Opponent into a word document "And then delete it!" [ laughter and applause .]
"And then delete it!" [ laughter and applause .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter and applause .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
And then delete it! [ laughter .]
And then delete it! [ crowd booing .]
And then delete it! [ crowd booing .]
get out of the ring, you bum! [ crowd booing .]
get out of the ring, you bum! oh, wow.
get out of the ring, you bum! oh, wow.
They're turning on me.
[ indistinct shouting .]
[bleep.]
that's right, buddy -- it's [bleep.]
that's right, buddy -- it's time to shut up and wrestle.
that's right, buddy -- it's time to shut up and wrestle.
oh, he got tommy! Time to shut up and wrestle.
oh, he got tommy! oh! oh, he got tommy! oh! oh, my god.
oh! oh, my god.
[ crowd chants "tommy" .]
oh, my god.
[ crowd chants "tommy" .]
oh.
Oh, who's that? [ crowd chants "tommy" .]
oh.
Oh, who's that? That's just tommy dreamer, a oh.
Oh, who's that? That's just tommy dreamer, a That's just tommy dreamer, a to come out and wreck your to come out and wreck your [bleep.]
To come out and wreck your [bleep.]
come on.
[bleep.]
come on.
You're gonna get me killed.
come on.
You're gonna get me killed.
his leg muscle could crush You're gonna get me killed.
his leg muscle could crush you.
his leg muscle could crush you.
[ laughter and applause .]
You.
[ laughter and applause .]
he could die.
[ laughter and applause .]
he could die.
there you go.
He could die.
there you go.
you want to come out here, there you go.
you want to come out here, dressed like a jackass or you want to come out here, dressed like a jackass or peter pan, so maybe you don't Dressed like a jackass or peter pan, so maybe you don't know where you are, but you're Peter pan, so maybe you don't know where you are, but you're in the home of Know where you are, but you're in the home of house of hardcore! In the home of house of hardcore! [ cheers and applause .]
House of hardcore! [ cheers and applause .]
oh, he's getting mad, q.
[ cheers and applause .]
oh, he's getting mad, q.
How do you think this is gonna oh, he's getting mad, q.
How do you think this is gonna end, buddy? How do you think this is gonna end, buddy? you can leave through the End, buddy? you can leave through the people and die you can leave through the people and die [ indistinct shouting .]
People and die [ indistinct shouting .]
Or you can leave that way.
[ indistinct shouting .]
Or you can leave that way.
grab the mike and say, "make Or you can leave that way.
grab the mike and say, "make me.
" grab the mike and say, "make me.
" [ laughter and applause .]
Me.
" [ laughter and applause .]
say it.
Say it.
[ laughter and applause .]
say it.
Say it.
make me? Say it.
Say it.
make me? [ laughter and applause .]
make me? [ laughter and applause .]
oh, oh, oh, oh.
[ laughter and applause .]
oh, oh, oh, oh.
[ laughter .]
oh, oh, oh, oh.
[ laughter .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ laughter .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
please, no.
Oh, no! [ indistinct shouting .]
please, no.
Oh, no! Oho! please, no.
Oh, no! Oho! Oh, that hurts! Oho! Oh, that hurts! Oh, my god, guys, that hurts! Oh, that hurts! Oh, my god, guys, that hurts! oh, my god! dude, you don't have to do it.
ohh, my god! It.
ohh, my god! this is ohh, my god! this is oh, my god.
this is oh, my god.
I actually feel bad.
oh, my god.
I actually feel bad.
I actually feel bad.
I actually feel bad.
I actually feel bad.
[ indistinct shouting .]
I actually feel bad.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh! [ indistinct shouting .]
oh! ohh! oh! ohh! here it comes! Here it comes! ohh! here it comes! Here it comes! [ laughter .]
here it comes! Here it comes! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! wait a second.
oh, my god! Oh, my god! Don't do it! Oh, my god! Don't do it! Oh, my god, please! Oh, my god, please! he's tapping out! he's tapping out! [ groaning .]
[ groaning .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ coughs .]
[ coughs .]
he walked in there a little he walked in there a little boy.
Boy.
together: He walked out a together: He walked out a little girl.
Little girl.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
so, do you ever do ad sales? [ laughter and applause .]
narrator: What's got murr [ laughter and applause .]
narrator: What's got murr being a creeping tom? narrator: What's got murr being a creeping tom? [ laughs .]
Being a creeping tom? [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's taken to the mat in tonight's narrator: And which joker's taken to the mat in tonight's punishment? Taken to the mat in tonight's punishment? oh! Punishment? oh! prepare for something oh! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
hey, today, we're schmoozing it up at a networking event.
while we mingle with these It up at a networking event.
while we mingle with these business-savvy professionals, while we mingle with these business-savvy professionals, the other guys will be telling Business-savvy professionals, the other guys will be telling us what to say and do.
if you refuse to do anything, you can kiss your assets You can kiss your assets goodbye.
Goodbye.
I really hope somebody's I really hope somebody's hiring 'cause I want out, boys.
Hiring 'cause I want out, boys.
[ laughter .]
hi.
hi.
hi.
val.
Hi, I'm brian.
val.
Hi, I'm brian.
nice to meet you, brian.
nice to meet you, brian.
very nice to meet you.
How are you? very nice to meet you.
How are you? I'm well.
How are you? I'm well.
q, whenever she speaks, point I'm well.
q, whenever she speaks, point at her.
q, whenever she speaks, point at her.
you know, I'd love to talk to At her.
you know, I'd love to talk to you as a person.
you know, I'd love to talk to you as a person.
definitely.
You as a person.
definitely.
[ laughs .]
definitely.
[ laughs .]
it's really a great [ laughs .]
it's really a great opportunity.
it's really a great opportunity.
yeah.
Opportunity.
yeah.
point to yourself when you yeah.
point to yourself when you talk.
point to yourself when you talk.
and, actually, that was made Talk.
and, actually, that was made by me.
and, actually, that was made by me.
that's -- I mean, that's By me.
that's -- I mean, that's pretty awesome.
that's -- I mean, that's pretty awesome.
[ laughs .]
Pretty awesome.
[ laughs .]
and how long have you been [ laughs .]
and how long have you been there? and how long have you been there? [ laughs .]
There? [ laughs .]
three months.
[ laughs .]
three months.
three months ago.
three months.
three months ago.
yeah.
three months ago.
yeah.
oh, so you're new there.
yeah.
oh, so you're new there.
I've been doing "quindustries" oh, so you're new there.
I've been doing "quindustries" for about three years now.
I've been doing "quindustries" for about three years now.
okay, great.
For about three years now.
okay, great.
keep doing it.
okay, great.
keep doing it.
oh! keep doing it.
oh! [ laughter and applause .]
oh! [ laughter and applause .]
do you ever do ad sales? [ laughter and applause .]
do you ever do ad sales? no, but, you know, I'm do you ever do ad sales? no, but, you know, I'm interested in no, but, you know, I'm interested in yeah? Interested in yeah? yeah.
yeah? yeah.
maybe in the future.
yeah.
maybe in the future.
Yeah, we'll maybe in the future.
Yeah, we'll okay, yeah, all right.
Yeah, we'll okay, yeah, all right.
[ laughter and applause .]
okay, yeah, all right.
[ laughter and applause .]
go higher with the points.
[ laughter and applause .]
go higher with the points.
where are you from? go higher with the points.
where are you from? I grew up in where are you from? I grew up in westchester county.
I grew up in westchester county.
And you, yourself? Westchester county.
And you, yourself? staten island.
And you, yourself? staten island.
What is your background? staten island.
What is your background? polish and italian, so What is your background? polish and italian, so hey, all right.
polish and italian, so hey, all right.
So maybe I'd be like, "valski, hey, all right.
So maybe I'd be like, "valski, what's up?" So maybe I'd be like, "valski, what's up?" and I'd be like, "nothing, What's up?" and I'd be like, "nothing, really, brian.
" and I'd be like, "nothing, really, brian.
" [ laughter and applause .]
Really, brian.
" [ laughter and applause .]
I really like you.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter and applause .]
[ laughter and applause .]
joe.
What's up, man? joe.
What's up, man? How's everything? How's everything? You doing all right? You doing all right? Good, good.
Good, good.
so, what we do is we're a so, what we do is we're a digital-marketing agency.
digital marketing.
Digital-marketing agency.
digital marketing.
joe, play dice under the digital marketing.
joe, play dice under the table.
joe, play dice under the table.
[ laughs .]
Table.
[ laughs .]
okay.
[ laughs .]
okay.
web developers who know -- okay.
web developers who know -- with the web developers who know -- with the really? Right.
With the really? Right.
[ laughter .]
really? Right.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! keep playing dice under the oh, my god! keep playing dice under the table.
keep playing dice under the table.
can't you tell? Table.
can't you tell? I feel like it's energy.
can't you tell? I feel like it's energy.
There's an energy down there.
I feel like it's energy.
There's an energy down there.
[ laughter .]
There's an energy down there.
[ laughter .]
[ applause .]
[ laughter .]
[ applause .]
a little more pronounced, so [ applause .]
a little more pronounced, so he notices.
a little more pronounced, so he notices.
it's kind of hard to go.
He notices.
it's kind of hard to go.
right.
it's kind of hard to go.
right.
[ laughter .]
right.
[ laughter .]
and, then, also, what I'm [ laughter .]
and, then, also, what I'm trying to do is start a personal and, then, also, what I'm trying to do is start a personal website forHi-yyyow! Trying to do is start a personal website forHi-yyyow! [ laughter .]
Website forHi-yyyow! [ laughter .]
joe, get him to shake your [ laughter .]
joe, get him to shake your hand or you lose.
joe, get him to shake your hand or you lose.
I mean, you're one of the Hand or you lose.
I mean, you're one of the guys that I've learned the most I mean, you're one of the guys that I've learned the most from here tonight, man.
Guys that I've learned the most from here tonight, man.
I really appreciate that.
From here tonight, man.
I really appreciate that.
[ chuckles .]
I really appreciate that.
[ chuckles .]
yeah, it's a pleasure.
[ chuckles .]
yeah, it's a pleasure.
he won't shake his hand! yeah, it's a pleasure.
he won't shake his hand! He won't shake his hand! he won't shake his hand! He won't shake his hand! [ laughter .]
He won't shake his hand! [ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
yeah! how are you? hello.
I work in fashion.
hello.
I work in fashion.
okay, you work in fashion? okay, you work in fashion? yes.
What about you? me? yes.
What about you? me? yeah.
me? yeah.
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
yeah.
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ chuckles .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ chuckles .]
so, uh, so [ chuckles .]
so, uh, so [ laughter .]
So, uh, so [ laughter .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ laughter .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ laughter .]
I'm a [bleep.]
doctor.
[ laughter .]
a gynecologist.
[ laughter .]
a gynecologist.
A gynecologist.
a gynecologist.
A gynecologist.
a gynecologist.
A gynecologist.
a gynecologist.
dude.
a gynecologist.
dude.
I don't believe he said it! dude.
I don't believe he said it! perfect.
I don't believe he said it! perfect.
how are you? perfect.
how are you? netsanet.
how are you? netsanet.
oh, sal.
netsanet.
oh, sal.
sal, when you shake her hand, oh, sal.
sal, when you shake her hand, give her, like, a limp fish.
sal, when you shake her hand, give her, like, a limp fish.
sal.
Give her, like, a limp fish.
sal.
pleasure to meet you.
sal.
pleasure to meet you.
nice to meet you.
pleasure to meet you.
nice to meet you.
thank you very much.
nice to meet you.
thank you very much.
okay.
thank you very much.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
buddy, you find two other [ laughter .]
buddy, you find two other times to give her a limp-fish buddy, you find two other times to give her a limp-fish handshake.
Times to give her a limp-fish handshake.
what was it that you said Handshake.
what was it that you said that you did? what was it that you said that you did? well, right now, I just That you did? well, right now, I just started a website.
well, right now, I just started a website.
I mean, congratulations.
Started a website.
I mean, congratulations.
That's amazing.
I mean, congratulations.
That's amazing.
thank you.
That's amazing.
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
well, we haven't launched [ laughter .]
well, we haven't launched yet, and it's gonna be launching well, we haven't launched yet, and it's gonna be launching in April, so -- Yet, and it's gonna be launching in April, so -- you'll launch in April? In April, so -- you'll launch in April? That's unbelievable.
you'll launch in April? That's unbelievable.
Congratulations.
That's unbelievable.
Congratulations.
[ laughter .]
Congratulations.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
so nice to meet you.
thank you.
so nice to meet you.
nice to meet you.
so nice to meet you.
nice to meet you.
thank you so much.
nice to meet you.
thank you so much.
[ ding! .]
sir, how are you? All right! All right! Nice to meet you.
How are you? Nice to meet you.
How are you? good.
How are you doing? good.
How are you doing? hey, murray, misuse air hey, murray, misuse air quotes with this guy.
so, I'm here as a member of a Quotes with this guy.
so, I'm here as a member of a financing and accounting so, I'm here as a member of a financing and accounting consultancy.
Financing and accounting consultancy.
great.
Consultancy.
great.
what about you? great.
what about you? well, I work in pharmac-- what about you? well, I work in pharmac-- I work "in" pharmaceuticals.
well, I work in pharmac-- I work "in" pharmaceuticals.
[ laughter .]
I work "in" pharmaceuticals.
[ laughter .]
what I do is go around to [ laughter .]
what I do is go around to "different" hospitals.
What I do is go around to "different" hospitals.
Basically, "it's" a sales job.
"different" hospitals.
Basically, "it's" a sales job.
[ laughter .]
Basically, "it's" a sales job.
[ laughter .]
how long you been doing what you [ laughter .]
how long you been doing what you do? How long you been doing what you do? start air-quoting him.
Do? start air-quoting him.
so, we've been doing this for start air-quoting him.
so, we've been doing this for about four years.
so, we've been doing this for about four years.
[ laughter .]
About four years.
[ laughter .]
here in new york city for about [ laughter .]
here in new york city for about a year -- in las vegas before Here in new york city for about a year -- in las vegas before that.
A year -- in las vegas before that.
got it.
That.
got it.
[ laughter .]
got it.
[ laughter .]
don't say anything else and [ laughter .]
don't say anything else and just air-quote.
don't say anything else and just air-quote.
um -- Just air-quote.
um -- nah, no.
um -- nah, no.
No, stop talking -- air quote.
nah, no.
No, stop talking -- air quote.
Air quote.
No, stop talking -- air quote.
Air quote.
[ breathes sharply .]
Air quote.
[ breathes sharply .]
air quote.
Air quote.
[ breathes sharply .]
air quote.
Air quote.
[ sighs .]
air quote.
Air quote.
[ sighs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
dusta.
Nice to meet you.
hi, dusta.
dusta.
Nice to meet you.
hi, dusta.
Nice to meet you.
hi, dusta.
Nice to meet you.
what do you do? Nice to meet you.
what do you do? murr, convince this girl what do you do? murr, convince this girl you're an architect.
murr, convince this girl you're an architect.
[ laughter .]
You're an architect.
[ laughter .]
I'm an architect.
[ laughter .]
I'm an architect.
you're an architect? I'm an architect.
you're an architect? I am.
you're an architect? I am.
my father was an architect.
I am.
my father was an architect.
your father was an architect? my father was an architect.
your father was an architect? oh, that's serendipitous.
your father was an architect? oh, that's serendipitous.
ah.
oh, that's serendipitous.
ah.
your [bleep.]
is about to be ah.
your [bleep.]
is about to be called out.
your [bleep.]
is about to be called out.
designed the white house -- Called out.
designed the white house -- the fireplace in designed the white house -- the fireplace in the white house.
The fireplace in the white house.
your father designed parts of The white house.
your father designed parts of the white house? your father designed parts of the white house? [ laughter and applause .]
The white house? [ laughter and applause .]
so, your father went to [ laughter and applause .]
so, your father went to architecture school, too? So, your father went to architecture school, too? "you know what school I went Architecture school, too? "you know what school I went to?" you know what school I went to? To? there you go.
Good luck.
there you go.
Good luck.
[ laughter .]
the, uh, I went to united [ laughter .]
the, uh, I went to united architecture university the, uh, I went to united architecture university okay.
Architecture university okay.
Of ohio.
okay.
Of ohio.
Uaa [laughs.]
uaao -- have you Of ohio.
Uaa [laughs.]
uaao -- have you heard of it? Uaa [laughs.]
uaao -- have you heard of it? no.
Heard of it? no.
[ laughter and applause .]
no.
[ laughter and applause .]
tell her about what you [ laughter and applause .]
tell her about what you designed, buddy.
tell her about what you designed, buddy.
I did a -- I did a broom Designed, buddy.
I did a -- I did a broom closet at the guggenheim.
she goes to the guggenheim.
Wow.
[ laughter and applause .]
Wow.
[ laughter and applause .]
it's the -- the northwest [ laughter and applause .]
it's the -- the northwest corner of the guggenheim.
it's the -- the northwest corner of the guggenheim.
there's no corners -- it's a Corner of the guggenheim.
there's no corners -- it's a spiral, you idiot.
there's no corners -- it's a spiral, you idiot.
[ laughter .]
Spiral, you idiot.
[ laughter .]
"let me ask you one [ laughter .]
"let me ask you one question.
" "let me ask you one question.
" let me ask you one question.
Question.
" let me ask you one question.
"do you believe I'm an let me ask you one question.
"do you believe I'm an architect?" "do you believe I'm an architect?" and if she says "no," you lose.
Architect?" and if she says "no," you lose.
ohh.
no.
[ laughter .]
this turn didn't go as I [ laughter .]
this turn didn't go as I expected.
this turn didn't go as I expected.
[ laughter .]
Expected.
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Looks like joe and [ buzzer .]
narrator: Looks like joe and murr will be having a power narrator: Looks like joe and murr will be having a power lunch on the loser board.
Murr will be having a power lunch on the loser board.
today, we are teaming up to Lunch on the loser board.
today, we are teaming up to give a presentation on the art today, we are teaming up to give a presentation on the art of photography.
Give a presentation on the art of photography.
but the slides of the Of photography.
but the slides of the presentation have been made by but the slides of the presentation have been made by the other team.
at the end, we'll ask the class to raise their hands if Class to raise their hands if they found the presentation They found the presentation helpful.
Helpful.
whichever team gets the whichever team gets the fewest hands raised loses.
Fewest hands raised loses.
all: Cheese, mother [bleep.]
all: Cheese, mother [bleep.]
[ camera shutter clicks .]
hello.
Hi.
hi.
hi.
hey, how you doing? hey, how you doing? I'm brian.
This is sal.
I'm brian.
This is sal.
we're gonna give you a run-through on some beginner we're gonna give you a run-through on some beginner tips, tricks, and techniques.
Run-through on some beginner tips, tricks, and techniques.
Okay, so let's get going.
Tips, tricks, and techniques.
Okay, so let's get going.
the five rules of Okay, so let's get going.
the five rules of composition -- the five rules of composition -- Composition -- for me, that's where the for me, that's where the photo begins.
for me, that's where the photo begins.
2 -- fill the frame.
Photo begins.
2 -- fill the frame.
right.
2 -- fill the frame.
right.
3 -- frame the phil, which right.
3 -- frame the phil, which means, if you're taking a 3 -- frame the phil, which means, if you're taking a picture of phil, just make sure Means, if you're taking a picture of phil, just make sure you get him in there right.
Picture of phil, just make sure you get him in there right.
[ laughs .]
You get him in there right.
[ laughs .]
4 -- who framed phil? [ laughs .]
4 -- who framed phil? [ laughs .]
4 -- who framed phil? [ laughs .]
excellent question.
And 5 Phil's doing 5 to 15 for Phil's doing 5 to 15 for forgery.
Forgery.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
phil didn't forge anything.
Phil didn't forge anything.
well, someone framed phil.
who? Who framed phil? well, someone framed phil.
who? Who framed phil? phil's innocent, is what who? Who framed phil? phil's innocent, is what we're saying.
phil's innocent, is what we're saying.
right.
We're saying.
right.
so, how would you take a right.
so, how would you take a picture of him? so, how would you take a picture of him? Very light tones.
Picture of him? Very light tones.
[ laughing .]
what? Very light tones.
[ laughing .]
what? so, there's different types [ laughing .]
what? so, there's different types of photography, right? so, there's different types of photography, right? Night time photography.
Of photography, right? Night time photography.
[ laughter .]
Night time photography.
[ laughter .]
this is a picture of the [ laughter .]
this is a picture of the eiffel tower.
This is a picture of the eiffel tower.
[ laughs .]
Eiffel tower.
[ laughs .]
uh, all right, so, competing [ laughs .]
uh, all right, so, competing focal points -- what do your uh, all right, so, competing focal points -- what do your eyes see first, okay? Focal points -- what do your eyes see first, okay? okay, very good.
Eyes see first, okay? okay, very good.
Dumb baby.
okay, very good.
Dumb baby.
[ laughter .]
you noticed that it was a baby.
Baby.
Did you notice the -- Did you notice the -- [laughing.]
the old man from [laughing.]
the old man from "gremlins"? "gremlins"? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
you could buy a mogwai off this guy.
you could buy a mogwai off this guy.
[ laughter .]
This guy.
[ laughter .]
okay, so, print sizes -- do [ laughter .]
okay, so, print sizes -- do women care about the size of okay, so, print sizes -- do women care about the size of your megapixel? Women care about the size of your megapixel? [ laughter .]
Your megapixel? [ laughter .]
women care? [ laughter .]
women care? [ laughter .]
women care? [ laughter .]
women do care about the size of [ laughter .]
women do care about the size of the megapixel? Women do care about the size of the megapixel? [ laughter .]
The megapixel? [ laughter .]
okay.
Professional photos [ laughter .]
okay.
Professional photos we've taken.
okay.
Professional photos we've taken.
Uh.
We've taken.
Uh.
[ laughter .]
Uh.
[ laughter .]
uh, I mean, you -- you all [ laughter .]
uh, I mean, you -- you all can see what this is, right? uh, I mean, you -- you all can see what this is, right? I took a picture of my Can see what this is, right? I took a picture of my girlfriend's belly button.
I took a picture of my girlfriend's belly button.
that hairy belly is your Girlfriend's belly button.
that hairy belly is your girlfriend? that hairy belly is your girlfriend? [ laughter .]
that's a great question.
yeah.
Applying what we learned.
yeah.
Applying what we learned.
that's it? Applying what we learned.
that's it? You just flat-out ignored the that's it? You just flat-out ignored the question? You just flat-out ignored the question? [ chuckles .]
Question? [ chuckles .]
where's this guy going? [ chuckles .]
where's this guy going? oh, you got to -- you're where's this guy going? oh, you got to -- you're leaving? oh, you got to -- you're leaving? [ laughter .]
Leaving? [ laughter .]
he's leaving, too? [ laughter .]
he's leaving, too? I mean, the class has left.
he's leaving, too? I mean, the class has left.
class left.
I mean, the class has left.
class left.
[ laughs .]
class left.
[ laughs .]
so, by show of hands, you [ laughs .]
so, by show of hands, you would say you guys learned so, by show of hands, you would say you guys learned something in thisEven? Would say you guys learned something in thisEven? [ laughs .]
Something in thisEven? [ laughs .]
I think this might be the [ laughs .]
I think this might be the first time we got a negative, I think this might be the first time we got a negative, like a negative 2, because two First time we got a negative, like a negative 2, because two people left.
Like a negative 2, because two people left.
well, we appreciate your People left.
well, we appreciate your time.
well, we appreciate your time.
all right.
Time.
all right.
[ laughs .]
all right.
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
murray's standing there, [ buzzer .]
murray's standing there, telling me that he thinks he has murray's standing there, telling me that he thinks he has an advantage over us.
well, remember, joe's taken photography classes before.
Photography classes before.
photos by joe gatto -- photos by joe gatto -- gattography.
Com.
[ glissando plays .]
Gattography.
Com.
[ glissando plays .]
"gattography.
" [ glissando plays .]
"gattography.
" [ laughs .]
"gattography.
" [ laughs .]
you mashed your own name with [ laughs .]
you mashed your own name with "photography"? you mashed your own name with "photography"? that's neither here nor "photography"? that's neither here nor there.
that's neither here nor there.
As long as no one leaves, we There.
As long as no one leaves, we win.
As long as no one leaves, we win.
that's it.
Win.
that's it.
[ laughs .]
that's it.
[ laughs .]
I mean, that's what we're up [ laughs .]
I mean, that's what we're up against.
I mean, that's what we're up against.
[ chuckles .]
Against.
[ chuckles .]
they really got us there.
[ chuckles .]
they really got us there.
hi, everybody.
they really got us there.
hi, everybody.
hi, guys.
hi, everybody.
hi, guys.
how are you? hi, guys.
how are you? make yourself comfortable.
how are you? make yourself comfortable.
My name's james murray.
make yourself comfortable.
My name's james murray.
Nice to meet you all.
My name's james murray.
Nice to meet you all.
I am joe gatto.
Nice to meet you all.
I am joe gatto.
let's take it through some of I am joe gatto.
let's take it through some of our presentation.
let's take it through some of our presentation.
Tripod -- it lets you shoot at Our presentation.
Tripod -- it lets you shoot at higher speeds.
Tripod -- it lets you shoot at higher speeds.
It holds the camera more sturdy.
Higher speeds.
It holds the camera more sturdy.
helps to stabilize images.
It holds the camera more sturdy.
helps to stabilize images.
It reduces blur, of course, you helps to stabilize images.
It reduces blur, of course, you know, especially in darker, It reduces blur, of course, you know, especially in darker, lower-light situations.
Know, especially in darker, lower-light situations.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
the best backgrounds for portraits.
that'll make somebody pop Portraits.
that'll make somebody pop right out.
that'll make somebody pop right out.
mm-hmm.
Right out.
mm-hmm.
A black background -- very mm-hmm.
A black background -- very dramatic, very tense, very moody A black background -- very dramatic, very tense, very moody kind of feel.
Dramatic, very tense, very moody kind of feel.
[ guitar strums .]
Kind of feel.
[ guitar strums .]
mexican background.
[ guitar strums .]
mexican background.
a lot of fun.
mexican background.
a lot of fun.
It's like a fiesta.
a lot of fun.
It's like a fiesta.
and he also, heritage-wise, It's like a fiesta.
and he also, heritage-wise, has a mexican background, so and he also, heritage-wise, has a mexican background, so many layers.
Has a mexican background, so many layers.
[ laughter .]
Many layers.
[ laughter .]
okay, applying what we've [ laughter .]
okay, applying what we've learned -- what we're gonna do okay, applying what we've learned -- what we're gonna do is take you through some photos.
Learned -- what we're gonna do is take you through some photos.
[ chuckles .]
Is take you through some photos.
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
if you had to describe the [ laughter .]
if you had to describe the feeling here that I want to If you had to describe the feeling here that I want to evoke from the viewer, what Feeling here that I want to evoke from the viewer, what would it be? [ laughing .]
creepy? that's right -- creepy.
that's right -- creepy.
creepy? creepy? A peeping tom? A peeping tom? a peeping tom? Yeah.
a peeping tom? Yeah.
both: Skulking.
both: Skulking.
wow, murr.
wow, murr.
It's like they know you.
[ laughing .]
okay.
Okay.
It's like they know you.
[ laughing .]
okay.
Okay.
that one.
[ laughing .]
okay.
Okay.
that one.
okay.
that one.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
a couple things about this -- [ laughter .]
a couple things about this -- my mouth is wide open, a couple things about this -- my mouth is wide open, accentuating the multiple chins My mouth is wide open, accentuating the multiple chins that I have.
Accentuating the multiple chins that I have.
[ laughs .]
That I have.
[ laughs .]
my nose looks huge in it, [ laughs .]
my nose looks huge in it, with the light bouncing off and my nose looks huge in it, with the light bouncing off and keeping half my face in shadow.
With the light bouncing off and keeping half my face in shadow.
I've decided to keep one red Keeping half my face in shadow.
I've decided to keep one red eye, fix the other.
I've decided to keep one red eye, fix the other.
And you can clearly see my Eye, fix the other.
And you can clearly see my thinning hairline.
And you can clearly see my thinning hairline.
Most would call this Thinning hairline.
Most would call this embarrassing.
Most would call this embarrassing.
I just call it the way of life.
Embarrassing.
I just call it the way of life.
[ laughter .]
I just call it the way of life.
[ laughter .]
okay, so, what we like to do [ laughter .]
okay, so, what we like to do at the end here is, by show of okay, so, what we like to do at the end here is, by show of hands At the end here is, by show of hands dude, this isn't looking too Hands dude, this isn't looking too good for us, man.
dude, this isn't looking too good for us, man.
get up! Get up and leave! Good for us, man.
get up! Get up and leave! this is not looking good for get up! Get up and leave! this is not looking good for us.
this is not looking good for us.
how many of you feel you've Us.
how many of you feel you've learned something of value how many of you feel you've learned something of value today? Learned something of value today? [ laughing .]
seriously, no one? Today? [ laughing .]
seriously, no one? No one? [ laughing .]
seriously, no one? No one? [ laughter .]
No one? [ laughter .]
which really doesn't matter, [ laughter .]
which really doesn't matter, 'cause nobody left, right? which really doesn't matter, 'cause nobody left, right? you guys have been great.
'cause nobody left, right? you guys have been great.
yeah, yeah.
you guys have been great.
yeah, yeah.
ohh! yeah, yeah.
ohh! beats negative 2.
ohh! beats negative 2.
[ ding! .]
beats negative 2.
[ ding! .]
ohh! [ ding! .]
ohh! narrator: The results are ohh! narrator: The results are black-and-white.
narrator: The results are black-and-white.
Q and sal have officially joined Black-and-white.
Q and sal have officially joined the loser board.
Q and sal have officially joined the loser board.
Called "beat the clock.
" The loser board.
Called "beat the clock.
" we've only got 15 seconds to Called "beat the clock.
" we've only got 15 seconds to complete a crazy task given to we've only got 15 seconds to complete a crazy task given to us by the other guys.
Complete a crazy task given to us by the other guys.
if you can't complete the Us by the other guys.
if you can't complete the task by the time the shot clock if you can't complete the task by the time the shot clock hits zero, then you lose.
Task by the time the shot clock hits zero, then you lose.
joker vs.
Joker, q vs.
Murr.
Hits zero, then you lose.
joker vs.
Joker, q vs.
Murr.
no! joker vs.
Joker, q vs.
Murr.
no! [ buzzer .]
no! [ buzzer .]
when did that rule come in? [ laughs .]
all right, fellas.
all right, fellas.
here we go.
here we go.
All right, bud.
All right, bud.
15 seconds.
I got it.
15 seconds.
I got it.
15 seconds on the clock, my 15 seconds on the clock, my friend.
what do you got? Friend.
what do you got? all you need to do is polish what do you got? all you need to do is polish somebody's shoes without them all you need to do is polish somebody's shoes without them noticing.
Somebody's shoes without them noticing.
oh, that's hard.
Noticing.
oh, that's hard.
yeah.
oh, that's hard.
yeah.
they can't notice me yeah.
they can't notice me polishing their shoe? they can't notice me polishing their shoe? yeah, that's "without Polishing their shoe? yeah, that's "without noticing" means.
yeah, that's "without noticing" means.
right.
Noticing" means.
right.
[ laughs .]
right.
[ laughs .]
how? [ laughs .]
how? what -- what do you want -- how? what -- what do you want -- help from us? what -- what do you want -- help from us? [ chuckles .]
Help from us? [ chuckles .]
I don't have anything to [ chuckles .]
I don't have anything to polish with.
I don't have anything to polish with.
use your hands or your shirt.
Polish with.
use your hands or your shirt.
okay, okay.
Wait.
I got it.
use your hands or your shirt.
okay, okay.
Wait.
I got it.
sock? okay, okay.
Wait.
I got it.
sock? okay.
sock? okay.
the sock.
Sock's a move.
okay.
the sock.
Sock's a move.
oh, my god, that's gross.
the sock.
Sock's a move.
oh, my god, that's gross.
I wouldn't pay -- if I went oh, my god, that's gross.
I wouldn't pay -- if I went to get my shoes polished and the I wouldn't pay -- if I went to get my shoes polished and the guy took off his sock, I would To get my shoes polished and the guy took off his sock, I would say that's not a Guy took off his sock, I would say that's not a "I'm good, thanks.
" Say that's not a "I'm good, thanks.
" [ laughter and applause .]
and go! here we go.
here we go.
go.
Here we go.
go.
Here we go.
the clock is going.
the clock is going.
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
He's like a gazelle.
He's like a gazelle.
together: 65 together: 65 wow! He's going underneath! wow! He's going underneath! together: 321.
together: 321.
[ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughter .]
did he see me? [ laughter .]
did he see me? I got a good rub.
did he see me? I got a good rub.
he definitely noticed.
I got a good rub.
he definitely noticed.
So you have 15 seconds to bite he definitely noticed.
So you have 15 seconds to bite somebody on their arm.
So you have 15 seconds to bite somebody on their arm.
[ laughter .]
Somebody on their arm.
[ laughter .]
I have to bite someone on [ laughter .]
I have to bite someone on their arm? I have to bite someone on their arm? sure.
Their arm? sure.
[ bleep .]
sure.
[ bleep .]
sure.
Although she's not -- [ bleep .]
sure.
Although she's not -- aah! sure.
Although she's not -- aah! [ laughs .]
Aah! [ laughs .]
why would you do that? [ laughs .]
why would you do that? I win.
why would you do that? I win.
Ready, murr? Here we go.
I win.
Ready, murr? Here we go.
[ ding! .]
okay.
okay.
go! go! there he is.
there he is.
together: 65 together: 65 sir, how are you today? sir, how are you today? together: 432 together: 432 what is -- what is -- oh! oh! [ laughing .]
[ laughing .]
holy [bleep.]
holy [bleep.]
well, I'm so sorry.
[ laughing .]
it just looked so well, I'm so sorry.
[ laughing .]
it just looked so good.
[ laughing .]
it just looked so good.
Wow, that's weird.
Good.
Wow, that's weird.
Sorry about that.
Wow, that's weird.
Sorry about that.
Oh, wow.
Sorry about that.
Oh, wow.
wow.
Oh, wow.
wow.
how is he not getting punched wow.
how is he not getting punched in the [bleep.]
grille? how is he not getting punched in the [bleep.]
grille? good job, murr.
In the [bleep.]
grille? good job, murr.
[ ding! .]
good job, murr.
[ ding! .]
[ chuckles .]
this one's a walk in the park, bud.
Park, bud.
literally.
literally.
you got 15 seconds to get a you got 15 seconds to get a feminine product.
[ laughter .]
Feminine product.
[ laughter .]
boom! [ laughter .]
boom! [ laughter and applause .]
Boom! [ laughter and applause .]
here we go.
And go! [ laughter and applause .]
here we go.
And go! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! here we go.
And go! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What counts as a feminine wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What counts as a feminine product? What counts as a feminine product? a product a feminine uses.
Product? a product a feminine uses.
a product a feminine uses.
a product a feminine uses.
a product a feminine uses.
like a hairbrush? a product a feminine uses.
like a hairbrush? no.
like a hairbrush? no.
no.
no.
no.
no.
Sanitary.
no.
no.
Sanitary.
[ laughter .]
no.
Sanitary.
[ laughter .]
buddy, most women, [ laughter .]
buddy, most women, statistically, have it on them.
buddy, most women, statistically, have it on them.
yes, true.
Statistically, have it on them.
yes, true.
yeah, but -- but wait a yes, true.
yeah, but -- but wait a second.
yeah, but -- but wait a second.
Wait a second.
Second.
Wait a second.
It may take them longer than Wait a second.
It may take them longer than It may take them longer than purse.
purse.
you need more than Purse.
you need more than you need more than yeah, I need more than yeah, I need more than yeah, I need more than we'll give you 30 seconds.
we'll give you 30 seconds.
30 seconds.
we'll give you 30 seconds.
30 seconds.
that gives her plenty of 30 seconds.
that gives her plenty of time that gives her plenty of time yes.
Time yes.
To reach into the purse yes.
To reach into the purse and get it out.
To reach into the purse and get it out.
okay.
And get it out.
okay.
30 seconds coming at you.
okay.
30 seconds coming at you.
a lot can be done in 30 seconds coming at you.
a lot can be done in a lot can be done in I can do most things in I can do most things in I can do most things in I was conceived in I was conceived in I was conceived in [ laughter .]
operation t-pon.
Here we go.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
go! go! oh! All right.
oh! All right.
Boom! Boom! it's on.
You're on the clock.
it's on.
You're on the clock.
excuse me.
Excuse me.
excuse me.
Excuse me.
Um, do you have a, um Um, do you have a, um [ laughter and applause .]
[ laughter and applause .]
get someone else, bud.
get someone else, bud.
hurry up.
hurry up.
excuse me.
excuse me.
This is really embarrassing.
This is really embarrassing.
Do you have, um, a tampon for my Do you have, um, a tampon for my friend? Friend? You don't? You don't? ohh! ohh! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
uh.
Oh, come on.
uh.
Oh, come on.
I'll ask, honey.
I'll ask, honey.
I'll try.
I'll try.
I'll try.
I'll try.
This is embarrassing for me, but This is embarrassing for me, but do you guys, by any chance -- Do you guys, by any chance -- are you with them? Are you with them? Yeah, cool.
Yeah, cool.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Okay, not doing that in front of Okay, not doing that in front of their father.
Their father.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
you're done.
you're done.
ohh.
[ buzzer .]
ohh.
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter and applause .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter and applause .]
narrator: Q couldn't go with [ laughter and applause .]
narrator: Q couldn't go with the flow, so he's tonight's big narrator: Q couldn't go with the flow, so he's tonight's big loser.
The flow, so he's tonight's big loser.
all right! Loser.
all right! Here we go.
all right! Here we go.
Q is tonight's big loser.
Here we go.
Q is tonight's big loser.
okay, buddy, you're gonna Q is tonight's big loser.
okay, buddy, you're gonna have to go out there in front of okay, buddy, you're gonna have to go out there in front of a crowd of theatergoers, Have to go out there in front of a crowd of theatergoers, onstage, and join a musical A crowd of theatergoers, onstage, and join a musical already in progress.
Onstage, and join a musical already in progress.
while wearing that.
Already in progress.
while wearing that.
[ laughter .]
while wearing that.
[ laughter .]
so nice.
[ laughter .]
so nice.
yes, sir! so nice.
yes, sir! oh, that's awesome.
yes, sir! oh, that's awesome.
That's amazing.
oh, that's awesome.
That's amazing.
No -- no rehearsal for me, no That's amazing.
No -- no rehearsal for me, no line? No -- no rehearsal for me, no line? who needs lines when you got Line? who needs lines when you got the costume, bud? who needs lines when you got the costume, bud? you're gonna be "pan-tastic.
" The costume, bud? you're gonna be "pan-tastic.
" ohh.
you're gonna be "pan-tastic.
" ohh.
hey! ohh.
hey! what q doesn't know is that hey! what q doesn't know is that there's no musical.
what q doesn't know is that there's no musical.
no.
There's no musical.
no.
we are backstage at a no.
we are backstage at a professional wrestling event.
we are backstage at a professional wrestling event.
[ crowd ohhs .]
Professional wrestling event.
[ crowd ohhs .]
this is -- this is so stupid.
[ crowd ohhs .]
this is -- this is so stupid.
and he's gonna get the this is -- this is so stupid.
and he's gonna get the [bleep.]
beat out of him.
and he's gonna get the [bleep.]
beat out of him.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
beat out of him.
[ laughter .]
peter pan's about to have a [ laughter .]
peter pan's about to have a bad day.
peter pan's about to have a bad day.
[ cheers and applause .]
Bad day.
[ cheers and applause .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
all right, bud.
[ indistinct shouting .]
all right, bud.
here we go.
all right, bud.
here we go.
take your blindfold off and here we go.
take your blindfold off and go through that curtain.
take your blindfold off and go through that curtain.
all right, so I'm just gonna Go through that curtain.
all right, so I'm just gonna go out there and make a fool out all right, so I'm just gonna go out there and make a fool out of myself? Go out there and make a fool out of myself? buddy, it's showtime.
Of myself? buddy, it's showtime.
[ laughter .]
buddy, it's showtime.
[ laughter .]
[ whimsical music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ whimsical music plays .]
everything here is pretty [ whimsical music plays .]
everything here is pretty and true everything here is pretty and true from my friends in the forest And true from my friends in the forest to the ocean so blue from my friends in the forest to the ocean so blue my castle is flooded To the ocean so blue my castle is flooded in the daily sun my castle is flooded in the daily sun you're about to wrestle, In the daily sun you're about to wrestle, bitch! you're about to wrestle, bitch! yeah! Bitch! yeah! yes! yeah! yes! [ laughter .]
yes! [ laughter .]
good luck, petey.
[ laughter .]
good luck, petey.
the crowd's gonna kill him.
good luck, petey.
the crowd's gonna kill him.
oh, you're gonna get killed.
the crowd's gonna kill him.
oh, you're gonna get killed.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh, you're gonna get killed.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh, my god.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh, my god.
They want blood.
oh, my god.
They want blood.
They already want blood.
They want blood.
They already want blood.
he almost hurt himself just They already want blood.
he almost hurt himself just getting into the ring.
he almost hurt himself just getting into the ring.
take the mike.
Getting into the ring.
take the mike.
Get the mike.
take the mike.
Get the mike.
we have a little speech for Get the mike.
we have a little speech for you, buddy.
we have a little speech for you, buddy.
You ready? You, buddy.
You ready? hi.
You ready? hi.
[ indistinct shouting .]
hi.
[ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm cutie pie, and I came to [ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm cutie pie, and I came to tell you one thing.
" "I'm cutie pie, and I came to tell you one thing.
" all right, I'm -- I'm Tell you one thing.
" all right, I'm -- I'm cutie pie all right, I'm -- I'm cutie pie [ indistinct shouting .]
Cutie pie [ indistinct shouting .]
And I came to tell you one [ indistinct shouting .]
And I came to tell you one thing.
And I came to tell you one thing.
"I love to cuddle.
" Thing.
"I love to cuddle.
" [ laughter and applause .]
"I love to cuddle.
" [ laughter and applause .]
I love to cuddle.
[ laughter and applause .]
I love to cuddle.
[ feedback whines .]
I love to cuddle.
[ feedback whines .]
[ crowd boos .]
[ feedback whines .]
[ crowd boos .]
[ laughs .]
[ crowd boos .]
[ laughs .]
"everyone, yell out your [ laughs .]
"everyone, yell out your favorite scene from "everyone, yell out your favorite scene from 'the notebook.
'" Favorite scene from 'the notebook.
'" [ laughter .]
'the notebook.
'" [ laughter .]
everybody, right now, yell [ laughter .]
everybody, right now, yell out your favorite scene from everybody, right now, yell out your favorite scene from "the notebook.
" Out your favorite scene from "the notebook.
" [ crowd booing .]
"the notebook.
" [ crowd booing .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ crowd booing .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm gonna copy and paste my [ indistinct shouting .]
"I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word "I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word document" Opponent into a word document" I'm gonna copy and paste my Document" I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word document I'm gonna copy and paste my opponent into a word document "And then delete it!" Opponent into a word document "And then delete it!" [ laughter and applause .]
"And then delete it!" [ laughter and applause .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter and applause .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
And then delete it! [ laughter .]
And then delete it! [ crowd booing .]
And then delete it! [ crowd booing .]
get out of the ring, you bum! [ crowd booing .]
get out of the ring, you bum! oh, wow.
get out of the ring, you bum! oh, wow.
They're turning on me.
[ indistinct shouting .]
[bleep.]
that's right, buddy -- it's [bleep.]
that's right, buddy -- it's time to shut up and wrestle.
that's right, buddy -- it's time to shut up and wrestle.
oh, he got tommy! Time to shut up and wrestle.
oh, he got tommy! oh! oh, he got tommy! oh! oh, my god.
oh! oh, my god.
[ crowd chants "tommy" .]
oh, my god.
[ crowd chants "tommy" .]
oh.
Oh, who's that? [ crowd chants "tommy" .]
oh.
Oh, who's that? That's just tommy dreamer, a oh.
Oh, who's that? That's just tommy dreamer, a That's just tommy dreamer, a to come out and wreck your to come out and wreck your [bleep.]
To come out and wreck your [bleep.]
come on.
[bleep.]
come on.
You're gonna get me killed.
come on.
You're gonna get me killed.
his leg muscle could crush You're gonna get me killed.
his leg muscle could crush you.
his leg muscle could crush you.
[ laughter and applause .]
You.
[ laughter and applause .]
he could die.
[ laughter and applause .]
he could die.
there you go.
He could die.
there you go.
you want to come out here, there you go.
you want to come out here, dressed like a jackass or you want to come out here, dressed like a jackass or peter pan, so maybe you don't Dressed like a jackass or peter pan, so maybe you don't know where you are, but you're Peter pan, so maybe you don't know where you are, but you're in the home of Know where you are, but you're in the home of house of hardcore! In the home of house of hardcore! [ cheers and applause .]
House of hardcore! [ cheers and applause .]
oh, he's getting mad, q.
[ cheers and applause .]
oh, he's getting mad, q.
How do you think this is gonna oh, he's getting mad, q.
How do you think this is gonna end, buddy? How do you think this is gonna end, buddy? you can leave through the End, buddy? you can leave through the people and die you can leave through the people and die [ indistinct shouting .]
People and die [ indistinct shouting .]
Or you can leave that way.
[ indistinct shouting .]
Or you can leave that way.
grab the mike and say, "make Or you can leave that way.
grab the mike and say, "make me.
" grab the mike and say, "make me.
" [ laughter and applause .]
Me.
" [ laughter and applause .]
say it.
Say it.
[ laughter and applause .]
say it.
Say it.
make me? Say it.
Say it.
make me? [ laughter and applause .]
make me? [ laughter and applause .]
oh, oh, oh, oh.
[ laughter and applause .]
oh, oh, oh, oh.
[ laughter .]
oh, oh, oh, oh.
[ laughter .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ laughter .]
[ indistinct shouting .]
please, no.
Oh, no! [ indistinct shouting .]
please, no.
Oh, no! Oho! please, no.
Oh, no! Oho! Oh, that hurts! Oho! Oh, that hurts! Oh, my god, guys, that hurts! Oh, that hurts! Oh, my god, guys, that hurts! oh, my god! dude, you don't have to do it.
ohh, my god! It.
ohh, my god! this is ohh, my god! this is oh, my god.
this is oh, my god.
I actually feel bad.
oh, my god.
I actually feel bad.
I actually feel bad.
I actually feel bad.
I actually feel bad.
[ indistinct shouting .]
I actually feel bad.
[ indistinct shouting .]
oh! [ indistinct shouting .]
oh! ohh! oh! ohh! here it comes! Here it comes! ohh! here it comes! Here it comes! [ laughter .]
here it comes! Here it comes! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! wait a second.
oh, my god! Oh, my god! Don't do it! Oh, my god! Don't do it! Oh, my god, please! Oh, my god, please! he's tapping out! he's tapping out! [ groaning .]
[ groaning .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ coughs .]
[ coughs .]
he walked in there a little he walked in there a little boy.
Boy.
together: He walked out a together: He walked out a little girl.
Little girl.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ indistinct shouting .]