Insecure (2016) s05e07 Episode Script

Chillin', Okay?!

1 ("YOU AND I" BY JAKOB OGAWA PLAYING) Close your eyes - (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Let it flow inside Hey! Okay, ladies.
I see y'all with the casual slay.
Damn, Tiff, how'd you get the whole collection? The perks of being well-connected.
(SCOFFS) She don't know nobody.
She paid a 200% markup on StockX.
- (ALL LAUGHING) - Hater.
Okay, so I have a full evening planned.
First, our group massage at 5 P.
And next, we have dinner reservations at Nueva at 8 P.
But right now? We pregame for maximum relaxation.
KELLI: Mmm! Molly, you get the nicest one 'cause you need it the most.
Lowkey, I rerolled it like 10 times.
All the other ones are kinda soggy.
MOLLY: I so needed this.
ISSA: Well, we got you 'cause today is all about letting you decompress.
We are not gonna talk about your mom at all.
Like I did just now, but that's the last time.
It won't happen again after this.
Girl, it's, it's okay.
And for the record, she's actually doin' much better.
But I am so glad that we get to do this.
TIFFANY: As we should.
I (COUGHS) - You good? - Mm-hmm.
It's in her chest.
It's in her chest.
- (ALL CLAPPING) - ISSA: Yay! ("DAMN RIGHT" BY AUDREY NUNA PLAYING) Three, two, three, better blow your mama's teeth out I chew like I'm Pika, then I spit like I'm Nina Damn, you look good.
(LAUGHS) I think I got it.
That's not the sunset.
Y'all said to capture natural beauty.
I mean hellur? - (ALL LAUGHING) - (PHONE BUZZING) Oh, shoot.
Hello? What? Nooo! Really? Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.
Uh, bad news.
A pipe burst at the spa, and everything's canceled.
I dreamt about them stones last night.
Let myself get too hopeful.
Well, I got some loose rocks in the courtyard.
I can just throw 'em in the microwave real quick, and Or we can just reschedule.
Any weekend except my Art Walk.
That's fine, but we still got three hours till dinner.
Should we just start drinkin' right now? - (KELLI LAUGHS) - Hell yes! Thank god.
Well, I'm still Cali-sober, so while y'all do that, you mind if I polish off - them soggy joints? - ISSA: Oh, I got you.
Hey, hey, hey! Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
I have the best idea.
(ISSA LAUGHS) KELLI: Better than these soggy joints? (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) - Ay! - KELLI: Oh, shit! - MOLLY: Okay, we see you, DJ.
DIDDY PLAYING) (ALL SINGING) Last night I couldn't even get an answer MOLLY: What? C'mon, ay! KELLI: What did you try to do? I tried to call Ay! But my pride wouldn't let me dial Dial Okay, girl, I see you.
Don't tell me you still got a subscription to Lids.
I do, but that's not what this is for.
You guys, clearly I'm suggestin' we play the best game ever.
Questions in a Hat! Damn, we haven't played that in so long.
I'm sayin'! Look, are you sure we wanna be playin' this Jumanji-ass game? You know the power it has.
The last time we played, shit spun outta control.
I was in my own personal retrograde.
Stop bein' a scaredy bitch and start thinkin' of some good-ass questions.
I ain't scared! A bitch got preguntas.
- Hey! Hi, handsome.
Hello! How'd it go last night? Did he sleep? Yeah, with his, uh, butt right up in the air like always.
- You did? - I'll just get the rest.
Hey, you had your butt in the air? I missed you.
I missed you, little one.
Yes, I did.
There were a few more of these out front.
Oh, I think those are the extra pieces for my shelf.
You want me to get it done? Oh, that's okay.
I was gonna have a friend do it this week.
You sure? I mean I'm here.
- I mean, if you have the time.
- Uh, yeah.
- I'm not doin' shit else.
- Join the club.
Thank you, um, come in.
("MAKE ME" BY TEEDRA MOSES PLAYING) If I'm really on your mind, show me now Boy, make me Boy, make me - M'kay.
- Okay.
Ooh, okay! "What is an embarrassing fact about you that none of us know?" Oh.
Girl, I ain't never seen "Love Jones.
" - What?! - I know I told you I had in college, and now, I'm in too deep.
But we bonded over lovin' Larenz and everything.
Which one was he? Is he Love or is he Jones? I should've known.
Okay, my fact.
I used to start every day drinkin' two Red Bulls.
You know what? That's probably why my period stopped from the time I was 20 to 25.
That or I had a five-year pregnancy.
Okay, my turn.
So, when I masturbate, which, I mean, I don't do often, but when I do, I still think about Derek.
I think of Derek, too, but you shouldn't.
That's gross.
That's your husband.
- Wait, what? - Okay.
- Kelli, you pull next.
- Nuh-uh, what's your fact? The person who pulls doesn't have to answer.
You know what? I already know your fact.
Your titty out, and I'm embarrassed for you.
From where? - "Have you ever broken a friend's vase?" - For real? - Just tell the truth, Iss.
- That's not what this game is for.
Tell the truth, Issa! - We're not doin' this again.
- Nope.
TIFFANY: Mm, this is a good one.
"If you could only spend the rest of your life "with the last person you slept with, how would you feel?" Oh, I'm good.
He was rich.
And I don't mind bein' a sugar baby.
- What about you, Iss? - I don't know.
Nathan and I are kinda up in the air.
TIFFANY: Is there something we don't know? We got into it.
And he called me inconsistent.
ALL (SARCASTICALLY): What?! No, you? - Crazy - Wow, really? - Yeah, you dumb bitch.
- If we're just bein' honest The point is, I don't know where we stand right now.
And ever since he left my "I love you" hanging, things have been weird.
It's pretty clear how Nathan feels about you.
Is it? 'Cause I don't wanna be in a relationship where I have to guess.
But it is what it is.
Um, I'll start over.
I've done it before.
I'll do it again.
It's fine.
It's starting.
- What's starting? - The game.
It's got shit it wants to uncover.
Knock knock - here it comes.
- (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Shit! - What in the hell?! I thought it was a ghost again.
Remember that time? You always think it's a ghost.
KELLI: Because it was the last time.
Trina! Hey.
I saw another spider.
You need to tent the buildin'.
I told you spiders are normal.
They are everywhere.
Oh, you right 'cause I see a poisonous one right there.
I thought I heard a bird say somethin'.
(SCOFFS) A-ha.
(SOFTLY): Okay.
What was that? I thought you two were cool.
She thinks I'm a bad influence on little Benjamin, but did she ever stop and think that, maybe, he was a bad influence on me? Okay, let's keep the party goin', shall we? - KELLI: Yup.
- (ISSA LAUGHS) All right.
"What goes in the bowl first: the milk or the cereal?" (PHONE BUZZING) I gotta take this.
This is a work call.
Excuse me, guys.
What loser put this in here? It's obviously both at the same time.
KELLI: You know we need better questions.
- It was all you.
- She on a work call? Who dis bitch kiki-in' with? MOLLY: But thank you.
This is exciting.
I'm proud of us.
(CHUCKLES) All right, bye.
What? Since when does debt law make you bite your lip? Since it started comin' out of Taurean's mouth? Shut up, okay? We were just excited because the partners approved our rebranding proposal.
ALL: Aye! Oh, I found this in the hat.
- "Y'all fuckin'?" - (ALL LAUGHING) We are not fucking, okay? - But - (ALL LAUGHING) it's just like since the retreat, things have been different.
- Different how? - Well, he calls to check in on me about my mom.
And then he's been texting about this project late at night a lot.
And, you know, he's always asking what I'm up to.
So, there's definitely some energy there.
Woo, ooh! It's about to go down.
I love a workplace romance.
Um, do y'all got broom closets there? "Hey, Taurean.
Do you object to these titties?" KELLI(IMITATING TAUREAN): "Objection overruled.
How 'bout you gimme some of that e pluribus anus?" - Ay! - Legal, legal, legal.
- (PLAYFUL CHATTER) - Y'all are dumb.
But I don't know what to do.
It's like we both like creepin' up to that line, but neither one of us wants to cross it.
Should I give him the green light? (SONG ON SHUFFLE PLAYS) Give me the green light - Shut up! - Okay! Wait, wait, wait.
That's a sign.
I'mma do it.
TIFFANY: Okay, okay.
Look at my girl goin' after what she wants.
- I love it! - Me too.
TIFFANY: I Stan! Speaking of, I know what I want.
An appetizer.
I can't wait till dinner.
I need a snack now.
Ooh, you be right, Tiff.
I'm hungry, too.
Yo, nuh-uh.
Don't go too hard, okay, 'cause we got reservations at 8.
("GREEN LIGHT" BY JOHN LEGEND PLAYING) I'm checkin' your smile Workin your back like, it's goin' out of style (SIGHS) All right, it's done.
- CONDOLA: Thank you.
- You know, tell any of your friends if they need a shelf built, - I'm booked.
(LAUGHS) - (ELIJAH LAUGHS) - (GASPS) Oh, someone likes a Dad joke.
- Oh yeah? Okay, what you eatin', little man? It is a carrot and squash night.
- Not his favorite.
- I thought I smelled a Bolognese.
Oh, that's my takeout.
You know, I had all these plans before he got here.
I was gonna make all our food.
I guess it's just different when they're here.
Yeah, so different.
Okay, airplane's comin' in.
Permission to land, ground control.
Come on.
We are just not having much luck.
I do the choo-choo train.
You know, way safer.
Keep it on the ground.
Oh, the choo-choo, huh? Yeah, it's in the name, chew-chew.
- Okay, let's see it then.
- Okay.
All right, buddy.
You ready? Cargo is loaded.
- Chugga, chugga, chugga.
- Come on.
Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.
Oh, so there's sound effects? (CHUCKLES) (WHISTLES) All aboard! - (GASPS) Yay! - (BOTH LAUGHING) CONDOLA: You're really good with him.
You're a really good dad.
Thanks That means a lot.
("CHANGES" BY BOSCO PLAYING) I don't wanna waste your time I don't wanna take things far If you don't feel the same Did you put Doritos in this cookie dough? - Cool Ranch.
- It works.
(LAUGHS) Oof, "If you could have one do-over" One? "What would it be?" KELLI: Mm, we gettin' deep.
Kelli ain't the only one with good preguntas.
You know, even with everything I've been through? Nothing.
I feel like Derek and I went through everything we went through to get us where we are.
Or where we will be.
Aw, Tiff.
That's so poetic.
I see you, For Colored Girl.
(ALL LAUGHING) For me I just wish I'd figured out what I wanted to do sooner.
Mm, well, I literally had to die to realize I'm not above finding a purpose.
I'm worried you don't know what "literally" means.
- (TIFFANY AND ISSA GIGGLE) - I am proud of you, okay? You gave up drinkin', you over here meditating And the other day, I discovered walking.
Y'all ever just go on a walk? - All the time.
- Yeah, Columbus.
We've invited you repeatedly.
But, seriously, I got clarity about some shit.
Like with my job.
I am done helping rich white men help rich white men get richer.
- That's it.
- Join the club, Boo.
Dang, Questions in a Hat is on our necks.
- (OVEN DINGS) - That's the sound of cookies.
Hello! Ha ha! Ooh, that's the one I want.
Y'all smell that Cool Ranch? Y'all smell it? (LAUGHS) All right, let's keep playin'.
You're up.
All right.
"If you had to choose, "which one of your friends' exes "would you fuck?" Who wrote this? Well, we all know which one of Issa's exes - we would wanna fuck.
- Yes, we do.
Personally, I'mma go with Marshawn.
Marshawn who used to work at the dinin' hall? - Yes.
- He did use to pack that extra meat.
No, bitch! - Daniel! - Absolutely.
That ass? Oh my god.
Y'all really think Daniel is - the finest man I've been with? - Yes, bitch! And stop throwin' it in all our faces.
Shit, I'm startin' to feel like Lawrence up in here.
Wow, too soon.
Fuck you.
I actually ran into Lawrence and Condola at the hospital.
- What? - And their baby.
- Girl, what happened? - Nothing happened.
It was just odd.
And I knew I'd run into them eventually.
And of course they got back together.
They have a whole baby.
But I guess I was just expecting to get closure about everything, but Anyway, I saw he moved back, and I'm sure they're happy.
The baby seems tall, so that's just the way it is.
So, they were both at Simone's birthday.
- Yeah.
- And They did not look great.
It was really tense.
Really? Yeah, so be glad you dodged that bullet, girl.
Yeah, I am.
I knew it was gonna get messy enough, so I cut it off.
I didn't want that life.
But I do feel a little guilty about how things ended.
I mean I loved Lawrence, you know? And y'all know how hard it was for me to let him go.
And then when the baby was born, I didn't even reach out.
You made the smart choice.
But why was it the smart choice? 'Cause she's not tryin' to be somebody's stepmom.
What'd that look like? TIFFANY: Okay, I get that, but sometimes it's not about making the smart choice.
It just has to make sense to you.
And it doesn't have to be the smart choice to be the right choice.
Well, your choice was smart and right, so.
Y'all, we should go get dressed.
It's, it's gettin' late.
(SOFTLY): You think she would give me Daniel's number? ("ON GOD" BY LATTO PLAYING) D-Diego, B-B-Bankroll Got It Got 'em like, "mm-hmm," pussy too good Real boss bitch, need a nigga out the hood Askin' where I'm at, I'm in the "wish a bitch would" Pretty-ass face, but I'm known for hittin' juggs Mm-hmm, swipe that card Ass on fat and my bag on large Milkshake bring trap niggas to the yard He ain't never leave - What.
- Your shoes.
I actually like them.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
Oh, before I forget.
Oh, my earrings! Have you had those since El Cholo? - Mm-hm.
- MOLLY: Hold up.
Has it been that long since we last got together? Yeah, like three months.
KELLI: We gotta do better.
Yeah, we can't let that much time pass before we get together again.
- KELLI: Okay.
- Yeah.
I love y'all.
Come over here, girl.
(CRIES) The fuck I'm cryin' for? TIFFANY: Derek and I might be moving to Denver.
Wait, what the fuck? Denver, Denver? Like the omelet? Wait! Tiff? When did this happen? Why?! I mean, this is why I fuckin' hate this game.
Derek got a job offer a week and a half ago.
And he's got family there, and the money can go a long way, and I, I think it'll be good for us.
Why you just now tellin' me? Because I knew if I told you, then that would make it real, and I wasn't ready to face it.
And it's all just happening so fast.
And I don't know what I'm gonna do without y'all.
Why are you scared? Because what if we wanna have more kids? What if I get depressed again? Girl, then we will be on the next flight to Denver.
Listen, if this situation with my mom taught me anything, it's that you gotta be really intentional with the people you love.
Gettin' us all together is gonna take some planning, but we'll make it work.
Dinner's at 8.
Uh, yeah it's 7:40.
Should we go? Or we could just have another drink here instead.
KELLI: Yeah.
These are my "goin' out titties," but they can stay home.
(LAUGHS) (DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING) Nah, for me your sister followin' me is when I was like, "Okay, things are good.
- "Things are good.
" - Oh no.
Then I probably shouldn't tell you that that was a fuck-up follow.
- What?! - (CONDOLA GIGGLES) Listen, I'mma take my wins where I can get 'em.
Want help? You know, I know this last year has been a lot for both of us, and, uh, hasn't always felt easy, or felt good, or I don't know, I just, you know, if things had gone different, then, you know, he wouldn't be here, and well, he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
It really makes me happy to hear you say that.
I just, um What? - Uh, what I - No, no, it's just, um when I was pregnant, and, um our situation wasn't good I, actually, thought about, um I'm sorry.
You shouldn't feel bad about that.
Shit was rough, and I was an asshole.
- I - We both had a learning curve.
And even now, I know you've given up a lot.
And I don't want you to be miserable I'm not.
All right, and I don't, I don't blame you for anything.
'Cause I want you to be happy.
I really do.
And, you know, I, um, I want the same for you, too.
The black dogs are back with another one I said the black dogs are back Ahh! Ay, ay, ay! (INDISTINCT VOCALIZING) I can't say I don't lust for you Turn a fuss for you I'm a must for you, yeah I can say I got love for you But I lied, yeah Y'all, we should text Taurean.
Sometimes men just need the go-ahead.
- Nuh-uh, and say what? - I got you.
I'm gon' say, "Hey, Taurean.
I was wondering if" "Wondering if you wanna fuck tonight?" Press send.
- MOLLY: No, Kelli.
- ISSA: I'm not gon' do it.
"I was wondering if you would like to go out for a drink sometime?" I'm just gonna say, "Hey, Taurean.
" "I was wondering if we could get together - "outside of the office one day?" - Okay.
"You know, 'cause I do look a lot different outside my work clothes.
" - (ALL LAUGHING) - You're so stupid.
Okay, you guys suck.
All right, what about, what about this? Nuh-uh, bitch.
Why the fuck is Dro calling you? Dro?! I don't, I don't know.
Maybe he's just checkin' up on me about my mom.
This is the power of the game.
The exes are upon us, and the only thing left to do is to let it happen.
Oh, mm-hm, would you look at that.
Daniel Kaluuya just slid in my DMs.
- What?! - Bitch, you DM'd him.
So what? I was just gettin' ahead of it.
C'mon, help me take a tit pic.
I don't wanna hold 'em again.
Girl, please don't let her post that.
(LINE RINGING) - Who you callin'? - Lawrence.
- Girl, no! Why?! - You heard You heard Kelli.
We gotta get ahead of it.
It's the game.
"The game"? And what was you gonna say if he picked up? I don't know.
A lot has happened, and I felt like we just need to talk.
Girl, you know I love you, right? So, remember earlier when you were talkin' about bein' inconsistent and shit? You're doin' it.
Like, how is this gon' help? Look, if sober you wants to call him tomorrow go right ahead.
KELLI: Um, shit just got real.
I just texted Daniel Kaluuya your address, so y'all gonna have to Queen & Scram.
- (KELLI GIGGLES) - "Get Out" was right there, girl.
Bitch, shut the fuck up! (BOTH LAUGHING) (DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING) - Love y'all.
- MOLLY: Love you, too.
Call me when you make it home.
So, uh, yeah, yeah, I wanted to hit you yesterday, but I didn't wanna disturb Girl's Night.
Y'all have a good time? Yeah, it was good Everybody just left.
Yeah, so, listen.
I know things have been a little off with us lately, and, uh, I just wanted to say Issa, I do love you I always have.
I was kinda just in my head about it before.
It's not something that I've ever really said.
Well, I'm I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you about it.
I definitely shouldn't have done that.
Nah nah I was on some childish shit.
I can be avoidant, and I need to fix that.
So you not leavin'? NATHAN: No.
I'mma figure this shit out.
Okay, good.
(CHUCKLES) Well, call me after work? NATHAN: I will.
I love you.
I love you, too.
("THE DISTANCE" BY GAVIN TUREK PLAYING) You should be here with me Givin' me what I need Won't you come closer (PHONE BUZZING) I can't wait that much longer If you could only see (LINE RINGING) You've reached the voicemail box of Issa Dee.
Please leave a message after the beep.
(BEEPS) I'll go the distance for you I'll go the distance for you I'll go the distance for you Ooh I'll go the distance for you I'll go the distance for you I'll go the distance for you Ooh I just gotta reach you, ooh I just gotta hold you now, baby I just gotta brake the wall for you, ooh I need you hurry Now I'll go the distance for you Yeah, for you I'll go the distance for you I'll go the distance for you I'll go the distance for you Ooh, I'll go the distance for you (SMOOTH INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Looks like mi casa is starting to look like we casa.
I like waking up next to you.
You're making your coffee.
Your sheets is nicer than mine.
Bamboo, baby.
(CHUCKLES) (WATER RUNNING) Ain't no shame to style on 'em So we've covered beneficiaries.
We could hook you up with the special savings account today.
Thanks, love.
Getting calls always like, "Hello?" (CHUCKLES) They do be like that.
What's he doing here? Now I don't usually fight my brothers, but I will if necessary.
I work hard for this So many late nights - Now living large is this - But now it's date night I'm a rich bitch.
- Aye.
- I'm a rich bitch.
I got hella coins on my wristlet.
Your bars weak, but the bank account bussin'.
That's right.
I'm gon' shine on it I'm gon' shine on it
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