Inspector Gadget (2015) s03e01 Episode Script

Jurassic Jerk

1 [siren wails.]
Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget, Inspector Gadget Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, get 'em, Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, get 'em, Gadget Inspector Gadget [growls.]
[Claw.]
I thought we were friends, Dr.
T.
Rex! Dr.
T.
Rex has no friends, only meal options.
[laughs, growls.]
[growling, chomping.]
How I love a sudden but inevitable betrayal.
- [chuckles.]
- [Talon clears his throat.]
Stop playing with baby toys, MAD Cat.
Cats are so immature.
Well, not to mention anyone who plays with dino toys is way too immature to play with the real deal.
The eggheads at Cretaceous Ranch have finally cloned dinosaurs.
[squeals.]
I mean [clears throat.]
Ooh, I have the perfect plan for this occasion, steal a T.
rex egg, clone our own unstoppable dinosaur army, - and let them loose on Metro City! - And? And recreate scenes from my favorite film, Revengasaurus Rex: The Stompening! [chuckles.]
Whatevs.
One egg comin' up! Have fun with your toys while I'm gone.
Thank you, I will.
I mean, they're not Just get me that T.
rex egg! Hey, Brain check this! [chuckles.]
Huh? Ouch! Hot! Did someone say "ouch"? That's the universal sound of unsafety.
Go, go, Gadget, first aid kit! - [groans.]
- [Brain squeals.]
Morning, Chief! Are you joining us for breakfast? No, Gadget.
We've got other things cooking.
[grunts.]
Dr.
Mathperson of the Cretaceous Ranch dino-research facility has successfully cloned dinosaurs.
MAD plans to steal this technology, raise a dino army, and unleash them on Metro City.
Your mission increase ranch safety and keep MAD out.
This message will self-destruct.
You chose the right agent for the job, Chief.
Making things safe is my middle name.
[panting.]
[grunts.]
[sighs.]
[groans.]
[squawks.]
[gasps.]
Wow! Uncle Gadget, a pterodactyl! Uh-uh-uh.
Keep arms, legs, and heads inside the vehicle at all times.
That's an obvious safety rule.
- [squawks.]
- [screams.]
Wowzers! Hey! [laughs.]
Hey, bird brain! Neh! [blowing raspberry.]
Ptera-dork-ous! [blowing raspberry.]
Dino-doofus! You think you can scare unscarable me? - [screams.]
- Magnificent creatures, aren't they? [scoffs.]
If you're into that kinda thing.
is what I'd say if I wasn't a dinosaur veterinarian.
[Penny screams.]
- Brain, remember where we parked.
- [car beeps.]
Ugh! Gadget's here.
Wowzers! This lab is a safety disaster.
They should've known better than to build it in a parking garage.
Pleased to meet you, Inspector Gadget.
I'm Dr.
Mathperson.
Not to rush things along, but when can I meet me a dinosaur? Well, I was about to give our new vet a tour.
Ready, Dr.
Hammondo? Uh, yes.
Specifically, I'd love to get my hands on I mean, see your dino eggs.
[chuckles.]
Hm.
[squawks.]
Brain, isn't it exciting to be out amongst the dinosaurs? [Brain whines.]
Hm.
This path is lined with quicksand-grade mud.
Very unsafe.
What's this? Non-hypoallergenic logs? Tut-tut.
[grunts.]
And the sun is at unsafe brightness.
Just look at Brain squint.
- Go, go, Gadget, sun blocker! - [whimpers.]
So, Dr.
Mathperson, the dinosaurs? Behold the wonders of science! Second only to the wonders of safety.
And I, for one, wonder how safe this lookout really is.
Those, uh, thingamagig-asaurs are swell, but I'm more of a dino egg doctor.
Well, there's one in the T.
rex enclosure, but Nice! I gotta take its temperature, make it cough twice.
You know, official dino vet business.
[chuckles.]
Brain, did you notice the "thingamagig-asaurs" Dr.
Hammondo pointed out are obviously Utahraptors? I mean, who wouldn't know that? You keep an eye on Uncle Gadget.
I'm gonna vet the vet.
Aha! Just as I thought, no safety rail.
Go, go, Gadget, rail builder.
[screams.]
[roaring.]
No, no, no! No, no! No, no! No! Look at him run.
He has no regard for his own safety.
Onwards, Brain.
Slow and safe loses the unsafety race.
Because when it comes to unsafety, we're all losers.
Oh! Egg-cellent.
I'm so egg-streme.
Whoa! Time to make my eggs-it.
Ha! Three solid egg puns in a row.
Why is no one ever around to hear my best material? [Penny.]
That's your best material? Talon? I do not know who this Talon is.
I am Dr.
Hammondo! [chuckles.]
That bad accent isn't fooling anyone, Talon.
Ugh, fine.
Prepare to be scrambled.
[grunts.]
- Whoa! - [chuckles.]
[growls, grunts.]
[laughs.]
Ahh! Whoa! [groans.]
Sorry, Pen, you're about to become egg-stinct! [laughs.]
[growls.]
[chuckles nervously.]
Too soon about the extinct thing? Uh, duh! It's because you have her egg.
Oh! Catch! [screams.]
[roars.]
[screaming.]
[laughing.]
Allow me to lighten your load! - [gasps.]
- [chuckles.]
- Hey! Get back here with that! - [snarls.]
I'd love to stay and egg you on, but I gotta get cracking.
Ugh! I really stepped in it.
Ew.
- [roars.]
- I know, such a jerk! [chuckles.]
[snarling.]
Now, this is something I can really get behind.
It keeps the safety in and the unsafety out.
[barking, squealing.]
Wowzers! Even the safety fences are safety hazards.
- Better turn it off! - No! In this case, the best defense is no fence.
[screaming.]
Now, for the most important part of any safety inspection, the list of violations.
Let's see Unpaved paths, poor signage, - electrified fences - [screams.]
sharp-toothed dinosaur too close to face.
[howls.]
Now, where did that pen go? Go, go, Gadget, pen magnet! Oh, there you are, Mr.
Pen.
[snarling.]
Get back here, Brain! [screams.]
MAD Cat! I need an egg-straction ASAP! [chuckles.]
Didn't think I could become less of a cat person, but here we are! [Penny.]
Hey! I'm not gonna make this over-easy for you.
Leave the witty banter to the professionals.
- [grunting.]
- Ha! [growls, grunts.]
[grunts.]
Ha! Whoa! Yah! - [grunts.]
Let go! - No, you let go! No, you! [snarling.]
[both.]
Dang it! [Mathperson.]
Out of the way! Out of the way! Out of the way! [barking.]
[siren wailing.]
- [sighs.]
- Brain, bad dog.
Get back here with my list of safety violations.
- [snarling.]
- [gasps, barks.]
Aw, I can't stay mad at you, Brain.
Go, go, Gadget, dog treat.
I've discovered another safety problem.
There's too much gravity! [whispers.]
Don't make a sound.
[growls.]
I think she's gone.
[roars.]
- [screams.]
- [Gadget screaming.]
- Aha! - Finally! - [groans.]
- Time to make my egg-scape! Ha! Final egg pun, for the win! Ahh! No! Please! - [screaming.]
- [gasps.]
[grunts.]
Nu-uh! Penny for the win! - [snarling.]
- [screams.]
[gasps.]
- [chuckles.]
- [Gadget.]
Penny, don't move.
That's the most unsafe thing I've seen today.
Having an egg out in this heat is against health and safety rules.
Go, go, Gadget, egg carton.
[gasps, sighs.]
- [yelps.]
- I knew that fence was a hazard.
- [Brain groans.]
- Congratulations, Gadget.
You left MAD's plans scrambled.
That's music played at a safe volume to my ears, Chief.
[snarling.]
[screams, whimpering.]
This is egg-cruciating! Come on, Uncle Claw, pick up! Where are you? [smooching.]
I knew you were just looking for love, Dr.
T.
Rex.
[laughing.]
Finally, I have the perfect device to bring HQ to its knees.
Oh! What is it? Wait, let me guess.
A localized tornado generator? No.
A device that will turn all of HQ agents into squids? Oh! Don't tell me.
A giant mecha-spider? [laughs.]
You think so small, Talon.
Feast your eyes on this! Wow.
Fantastic.
A hat.
- It's not just a hat! - [squeals.]
Not only is it a fashionable disguise, but you can trap Quimby inside, replace him as chief, and order the HQ agents to take over the world! How are we supposed to get Quimby inside a giant hat? [whirring.]
[squeals.]
[laughs.]
Huh, not bad.
And, as chief of HQ, I could really give the gears to Penny.
I don't care about your obsession with low value coins.
Just stay on mission.
Capture Quimby and take over HQ! [Talon laughs.]
Heads up, Quimby! Hope you're not claustrophobic.
You wanted you see us, Chief? [groans.]
Howdy, partners! Wowzers! Who are you? Where's the chief? And, most importantly where did you get that fantastic hat? The name's Assistant Chief McFibber from the Southwest Division.
Southwest Division? - And I have terrible news.
- [Quimby moans.]
Chief Quimby is missin'.
[all gasp.]
[Quimby groaning.]
All y'all's mission is to find him.
Now, this here mission ball's gonna destruct itself.
Poor Chief! Do we have any leads? We reckon he's hog-tied in the Dynamite Storage Cave.
Ha! Hey, here's a map.
Never fear, Assistant Chief.
Go, go, Gadget, Quimby finder.
Whoa! [growls.]
Gadget! is such a hero, y'all! [coughs.]
Yee-haw! Ooh! Come on, Brain, let's find the chief.
Just wait one hot Texas minute, lil' miss.
I have a top secret mission only an agent of your caliber can handle.
But shouldn't I go help Uncle Gadget find the chief? Nope.
You're needed here, and that's an order.
I can't believe I have to remove every trace of mold, grime, and grunge in this filthy kitchen with my toothbrush! Yuck! - Brain, I just - [dance music playing.]
Wait, are you at a party? [dance music continues playing.]
The new assistant chief is so hip.
He's got us moving our hips.
LOL! [chuckles.]
[Quimby mumbling.]
Ugh! Quiet, you! Why is everyone partying when Chief Quimby is missing? We have to do something.
[groans.]
We are doin' somethin'.
- [woman screams.]
- [glass shatters.]
Uh, we're keepin' morale high.
- [glass shattering.]
- [cat hissing.]
[clears throat.]
Free tacos in the kitchen, y'all! - [music stops.]
- [all cheering.]
- [agents.]
Tacos are things we like! - But I just cleaned the kitchen! Wipe those worries away, lil' lady.
I've got a mission only an astute agent like you can sort out.
Separating the used yogurt containers from the eggshells! HQ would be in the dumps without ya.
[chuckles.]
Hasta luego! [stammers.]
But what about Chief Quimby? Ugh! I hope Uncle Gadget's having better luck than I am.
Ahh! Ew! [Gadget.]
Chief? Are you here? Wowzers! It's so dark in this Dynamite Storage Cave, I can't see my hand in front of my face.
Go, go, Gadget, flashlight.
[metal clicking.]
This must be the right place.
But where's the chief? Kablooey! And Gadget's blown to smithereens.
Ha! Impressed? - Are you sure Gadget's gone? - Duh.
I'd bet my hair.
[Gadget.]
Hello, Assistant Chief.
Gah! You're alive? This is awful ly great, um, y'all.
It would be even awfully greater if I'd found the chief.
[Quimby mumbling.]
[Quimby groans.]
Whoa, looky! Beep, boop, boop, beep, boop! We got intel that the chief is trapped inside a crocodile's mouth in the, uh crocodile-infested jungle of, uh, Crocodilia? I'm coming, Chief! Go, go, Gadget, safari shoes! Like I was saying, no more Gadget.
Excellent.
Now that you're in control, it's time to order HQ to take Hold that thought.
I just have one teensy little thing to do first.
- Don't you dare cut me off! - [laughs.]
[grunting.]
You won't regret putting me on this mission to find the chief.
I can really help with Ugh.
Remember, there are no small missions, lil' lady, only small agents.
I want you to check these files for clues to Quimby's disappearance.
Mind them paper cuts! Yee-haw! Ugh.
You want a clue? I'll find a clue that'll knock your Ow! Paper cut.
Whoa! [growling.]
Another perfect landing! Huh, Chief Quimby must be around here somewhere.
Aha! There's the chief-eating croc! Chief? You in there? Hello? Hmm, maybe I should check the other end.
[yelps.]
No more delays! Order the HQ agents to take over the world, now! Ah, what's the rush? We've got all the time [screams, groans.]
The bad news, there's no sign of the chief.
The good news, I think Mr.
Crocky likes you.
[shrieks.]
We now know the chief is in, um, a killer honey beehive! Killer honey bees? Go, go, Gadget, beekeeper gear.
Whoa! - [snarls.]
- [screams.]
No sign of the chief, but I did bring you back a treat.
- [Quimby moaning.]
- [bees buzzing.]
Ouchy, ouchy! Ouchy! I can't take this no more.
Where can I send you so you'll never return? The sun? Yes! That's it, the sun! The chief's on the sun? But he'll burn with his complexion.
Go, go, Gadget, sunscreen.
- [growls.]
- [screams.]
[groans.]
This is the worst mission ever! [sighs.]
[screams.]
What's this? The HQ Southwest Division has been closed for the past 50 years? But if it's closed, then Assistant Chief McFibber is a liar! Time to find out who he really is.
[whistling.]
[Quimby grunting.]
Whoa! Ugh! [whistling.]
[Quimby groaning.]
[dance music playing.]
Mm [bird cawing.]
I'm coming for you, Chief! - [Quimby mumbling.]
- [grunts, groans.]
This hat weighs a ton! Well, at least, it's toning my neck muscles.
Focus! Mission! Order HQ to take over the world, now! Fine.
But first, I have to get Penny to clean the post-taco-feast bathrooms.
[chuckles.]
Talon! I should have known.
[bird cawing.]
Looks like I need to speed things up if I am going to prevent the chief from getting a sunburn.
Go, go, Gadget, going-to-the-sun rockets.
Wowzers! Kayla, have you seen Assistant Chief McFibber? - [dance music playing.]
- Come on, Penny.
Can't this wait? Everybody Conga Everybody Conga Everybody, listen to me, you're being lied to! Assistant Chief McFibber is actually Hey, y'all! Free ice cream in the kitchen! - [music stops.]
- [all cheering.]
[agents.]
Ice cream is also a thing we like! No! McFibber is a MAD agent! We gotta take him out! Who's with me? No one? Brain? - [whimpers.]
- For reals? No one's listening to you, Penny.
But they'll listen to me, and when their beloved Assistant Chief McFibber orders them to take over the world, MAD wins.
- [laughs.]
- Wowzers! - He can't be back! - [glass shattering.]
Chief Quimby? [gasps.]
Whoa! Um, y'all want six-day weekends? Time to jet! Yee-haw! Thanks for saving me, Gadget.
Chief, you're here.
But where's McFibber? Has he gone missing, too? Go, go, Gadget, McFibber finder.
[groans.]
I should've stayed in the hat.
[groans.]
And? Next time, I'll try to stay focused.
And? And I'll stay on mission.
Good, your next mission is, clean MAD Cat's litterbox with your toothbrush! [giggles.]
[gags.]
Next time! Next time.