Irma Vep (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

The Severed Head

1 Hello, Mrs.
Welcome to Paris.
- Hi.
- Would you please follow me? Mira, this is yours.
- Sorry we kept you waiting.
- No worries.
Oh, wow.
Thank God this is our last stop.
I am so sick of discussing "Doomsday," and why Nausicaa sliced her superhero husband's throat and cut off his testicles.
It's the strongest scene in the film.
- Creepy as fuck, though.
- Yeah, but point is, it feels good when he dies.
I mean, it's shocking.
No one expects it.
And he's the lead.
How often does a lead die halfway through the movie? - Are you okay with the AC? - Yeah, it's fine.
I mean, honestly, that's why the film's a hit in the U.
- And it will be in France, too.
- Yeah.
Good for Herman.
And good for you.
You needed a hit.
Regina, I don't need a hit.
I need a good movie.
Yeah, but blockbusters let you make the movies you love.
And spend the next two months in Paris - shooting "The Vampires.
" - Yeah, with René Vidal.
I worshipped him in film school.
You should tell him.
He'll be thrilled.
- I wouldn't dare.
- Then I'll tell him for you.
I can't believe I finally get to meet René in person tomorrow.
I'm so sick of Zoom.
Hello, hello.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ah, this is Mira.
- Hi.
- Welcome to the Plaza Athénée.
- Thank you.
May I show you to your suite? - Ah, y - Oh, is it possible to look at the schedule before you rest? Uh, yeah, sure.
Shall we go to the lounge? - Yeah.
- This is your key.
- Thank you very much.
- Pleasure.
Have a nice day.
See you later.
So we start with the "Vogue" photoshoot.
Remember? They want you in your "Doomsday" spacesuit.
I asked you.
You said it was fine.
- Did I? - You did, but, I mean, we can still tell them you're not comfortable with it.
It's fine, it's fine.
Then, as agreed, we do TV.
Simple network spots.
Here's the list.
Thank you.
Wait, what's the second one? Did we agree on that? Yes, we discussed it.
It's a real big deal.
Two and a half to 3 million viewers a night.
We give them 15 minutes.
Then, uh, we come back to the hotel, and you have one hour to prepare for the premiere.
You'll introduce the film on stage.
Herman will be there as well.
- Ooh, Herman.
- Yes.
The director's in town with his new wife.
Laurie? So, uh no one was gonna tell me Laurie is here? It's our last European premiere date, and Herman thought that you'd like to celebrate together.
- Oh.
- I only heard Laurie was comin' an hour ago.
I'm sorry.
He brought Laurie because they wanted a romantic weekend in Paris before going back to LA.
Regina, did you know about this? No, absolutely not.
I swear.
Laurie used to be Mira's assistant for three years.
I had no idea.
- Yeah.
- She and Herman met on set, - and they married a week after wrap.
- Excuse me? Is there something you want me to do about it? - No Yeah, it's fine.
- No, okay.
At least Herman made it this time.
Well, he skipped most of the premiere dates.
He promised to come to Stockholm and Rome but he bailed.
Well, he's working on a new project.
- Oh, of course.
- A sequel.
A sequel to what? I don't know.
I lost track.
Sequel to a whole bunch of them.
- Saw it in the trades.
- Okay, the set is ready.
You can come with me.
- Hello.
- Hi.
So, production sent me a few, and.
- I brought a few, so, okay.
- Double guns? Yeah, whatever you feel comfortable with.
All right On the cross.
Face me completely.
Open a little bit more the feet.
And, yeah, good.
No, uh, when we were shooting "Doomsday," uh, none of us imagined it would be so big.
Maybe Herman had another perspective.
No, I-I We were just, you know, trying to make it as good as we could, as believable as possible, which is a challenge when it's about superheroes.
Don't you think it struck a nerve because of present-day politics in Europe? What kind of politics? The rise of populism.
- Gender equality.
- Gender equality? Um feels ever-present to me.
Cutting off Ragnar's testicles was a pretty radical act.
It was in the screenplay.
- But you sold it.
- Yeah, but I try my best to be as, as honest as possible, and try to channel the woman I play.
But yeah, this was a tough one.
Especially for Ragnar.
In an interview you said you were concerned with the future of Europe, and the unraveling of democracy in Hungary.
I shot a film there.
Love Budapest.
Um, but European politics? I, I, I can't say I I don't know much about that.
Maybe Herman said something.
Yeah, but, uh, you approved.
Maybe I nodded, uh.
I-I No, but honestly, I don't have a clue.
The only thing I can say is that, um, Herman's set is not exactly a democracy.
What do you mean by that? I was joking.
Don't make me say things I'll regret.
Thank you.
Of course, of course.
What's your name? We should go, sorry.
Okay, I'll, I'll, I'll come after, after the show.
Herman, Herman! "Doomsday," bitch.
Herman, Herman! Isn't she beautiful? "Doomsday"! - I'm so sorry.
- Hold on.
Just two more.
- Just two more.
- We have to cut it short.
- I'm sorry.
Thank you.
- Herman Herman, please! Right this way.
We're gonna skip the audience, but this is David, a journalist from a major cable network.
- Okay, great.
- Hi.
- Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
Is it true you'll be shooting a series in Paris soon? That is true.
I start shooting in a few days, and I'll be here for a while.
I heard it's a remake of a French silent film.
"The Vampires.
" Uh, it was shot by Louis Feuillade in 1916, and I'll be Irma Vep.
She's, uh, like the evil muse of a criminal gang.
Uh, René Vidal is directing.
I know.
I'm thrilled.
It's such an unexpected match.
Why do you say that? Well, you usually do bigger commercial movies.
Which makes it then the more exciting, right? - Have you seen the original serial? - I have.
Three times and I love to brag about it because it's, uh, seven hours long.
- Bravo.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
Have a good night.
Thank you.
Have a good night.
I'll take some more "dre pierre," though.
But seriously, it's one of your best films.
I mean, it's the closest to your earliest, like "Dawn of the Slasher.
" "Dawn of the" That was shit.
What? Man, we was broke when we shot that.
We shot that in an abandoned factory in Detroit.
- Detroit.
- Yeah, I mean, it's pretty extreme.
Bruh, when you got 15 days to shoot a feature, - you gotta be radical.
- Mm.
I mean, some young exec from Disney just happened to like it.
That's how I got "Gorgon.
" Twenty-eight years old and all of a sudden the sky's the limit.
Hi! Welcome, Miss Harberg.
Excuse me, pimp.
Miss Doomsday herself.
- Hey - Oh, so great to see you.
So happy you could make it.
- Hey.
- How you doin'? Finally got here.
Oh, I'm sorry I missed Stockholm.
That's okay We managed.
The journalists, they wanna see the stars.
Nobody care about meeting directors.
But, you know, I wanted to surprise you by showin' up for the last day.
Yeah, no, um, it's so nice to be together one last time.
One last time? You mean until awards season.
We're not that kind of film, are we? Oh, you'll be surprised.
The feedback has been wild.
The studio is backin' a major campaign.
- Ah.
- We gonna need you.
I'll be here, uh, in Paris shooting.
"The Vampires.
" - "The Vampires"? - It's about a, a gang that call themselves Vampires.
I'll be Irma Vep, their evil muse.
Great, um, listen, you know what? I have a hunch that we'll probably pick up a few noms, so be around.
Great! Well, um, fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed! - Laurie.
- Hi.
We need to catch up.
We do.
I haven't heard much from you since the shoot.
Well, you were invited to the wedding, but you didn't RSVP.
I texted.
Want a smoke? Sure.
Mm Let's be clear.
I had no idea about you and Herman.
Oh, I thought it was obvious.
Not at all.
Fine, I guess I was just waiting for the right moment.
- But it never came.
- No No, not really, no.
I must've been, like, the last person to find out.
I didn't want to hurt you.
Be honest.
You were scared.
Yes, I was scared.
You ever wonder why I was scared? Yeah, because you felt like a cheater.
No, because you're scary.
And you scared me.
- You think you're easy, huh? - No.
- And I never pretended to be.
- Especially when you're drunk.
Now I'm sober.
Good for you.
You weren't exactly faithful either.
Who said I was monogamous? And you never thought that might hurt me? No Honestly, no, I didn't.
I have a question.
Doesn't an open relationship go both ways? No it doesn't.
God, you're fucking controlling.
I'm just not used to getting dumped.
I think you're overstating that a little bit.
And for Herman? I mean come on, he's, he's, he's such a bore.
- He's a good person.
- He's a good person? - He's nice.
- He's a dime-a-dozen douche from LA.
Ugh! What do you wanna hear? That you're a better fuck than Herman? You know I'm a better fuck than Herman! So what's the plan, huh? Two kids and a little white picket fence? He already has a family.
Not anymore.
- Who are you to judge me? - I'm not judging you.
If you want a more boring life? You mean a more boring hetero life? A boring hetero life.
Like when you got off on being this glamorous Hollywood couple with Eamonn? - Yeah, sure.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
If I remember correctly, I I wasn't only dating Eamonn.
No You were fucking me too in between errands I was running for you.
I can see you have a better life with Herman.
I do.
You, um use his credit card.
- I do.
- You have a villa in the Canyon, and a convertible.
- I do.
- And you get a bit of the spotlight.
I get a lot of the spotlight, if you haven't been reading the news lately.
Because his wife is suing him.
They've settled.
I'm so relieved.
You know what? Seeing it for the second time The third, in fact, I thought it was kind of okay.
- Was it? - Yeah, actually, I was surprised.
Is something wrong? No.
Nothing's wrong.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad for that kind of film.
But I definitely don't buy Edward as Emperor of the Galaxy.
Who can pull off Emperor of the Galaxy? Who's the guy that plays Gandalf in "Lord of the Rings"? Ian McKellen.
I thought it was Michael Gambon.
Michael Gambon plays Dumbledore in the "Harry Potter" movies.
Ooh, it's not the same actor? No, Ian McKellen and Michael Gambon are not the same actor.
Ooh okay.
- When, when is pick-up? - Six.
That's not happening again.
You have to change that.
I can't.
It's a really long drive, and they're shooting God knows where.
All right.
You're not coming up? No, I wanna check if the pool is still open.
- Regina, it's 2 A.
- And? Uh forget it.
Go ahead.
- Good night.
- Have fun.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Could you please call Ms.
Harberg, room 567? I was having them call your room.
We need to go.
We're late.
I couldn't sleep, so I took some pills.
Then I couldn't wake up.
Well, you can sleep in the car.
- It's like a three-hour drive.
- I need coffee.
This is the body of Chief Inspector Durtal.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Sorry, uh, I know how, uh, it can be uncomfortable as a newcomer on a set.
- Especially since we just started shooting.
- It's fine.
No, it just takes a moment to settle in.
Actors are used to it.
I probably should have given you a warmer welcome, but you know how it is.
I was trying to get - this shot right - I know.
It's always a bit awkward to meet in person when, uh - Totally.
- Y-y-you've only Skyped.
Yeah, and the Wi-Fi kept cutting in and out.
No, no, but I will get around to fixing my Wi-Fi sometime.
- Mine too.
- M-Maybe, maybe.
And, uh, I'm sorry because my, my English is not so great, and, uh - it, uh, it limits the conversation.
- It's perfect.
I, I did I didn't think you, you, you would take me seriously.
You didn't need to convince me.
Um, I'm a fan.
Oh As am I.
I was surprised you knew my films.
Um, you know, I don't really care about movies.
Um, I used to, but not anymore.
Uh, maybe it will come back, but, um you, y-you have a magnetic presence.
- Even as Nausicaa? - Yeah, totally.
- You glow.
- I, I glow? - Yeah, you glow.
You - I-I'm, I'm not so sure about that but I'll take your word for it.
So, uh, how's it been goin' so far? Are you happy? Oh, Mira, I have some bad news for you.
I'm never happy.
I, I tried happiness, but, uh, it's, it's just not for me.
Okay, so, uh, let me put it this way.
Is everything going according to plan? There is no plan.
- No plan.
- No plan, no.
I hate when there is a plan.
Uh, my, my, my job is to screw the plan.
Maybe I can help you with that.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Um, are, are you familiar with, uh, Feuillade's first episode? Uh yes but I haven't watched it in a while.
I, um, I was in Hawaii, and I wrapped two weeks ago.
And then I had to go and promote "Doomsday," and I'll catch up.
I promise.
It's only about e-establishing how ruthless Vampires can be, um.
They're ruled by an elusive criminal mastermind, uh, only known as the Grand Vampire, but he operates under various aliases.
Yeah, right.
He usually disguises himself as the Count of Noir How do you pronounce it? Count, Count Noir - Nwar-moot-yeah.
- Nwar-moot-yeah.
- Nwar-moot-yeah.
- Count Nwar-moot-yeah.
Le comte.
- Comte.
- Noirmoutier.
- Le Comte Noirmoutier.
- Voilà.
C'est ça.
And, uh, this is Philippe Guérande, the journalist.
Um, he's the Vampires' foe, okay? And, um he exposes the crimes of the Vampires in the press.
Furious, the Grand Vampire wants revenge and threatens him with the same fate as Inspector Durtal.
- Today is a very busy day.
- No worries.
Especially because of the severed head scene.
So, um Yeah, I, I guess I I just need to understand your approach, you know? Irma Vep can be seen from so many angles.
Is she the Grand Vampire's moll, or Oh, but she's a lot more than that.
Y-Yes, or is she the embodiment of the Vampires' evil spirit? You know, it, it was the first time a villainess was the star of a serial.
Uh, we, we are, uh, in, uh, 1916.
Um, do, d-do, do you know what was all the rage in the States then? "Perils of Pauline.
" Ever heard of, uh, Pearl White? No not really.
Uh, let me show you something.
Um Um Look.
You see? Pauline was the ultimate damsel in distress.
And so, Irma Vep was Pauline's polar opposite.
She's fascinating because she's pure evil, but, uh, in a sexy kind of way.
- Do you know what I mean? - I guess so.
Yes, because villainesses are sexy in ways good girls are not.
Uh, they don't teach you that at school.
Don't worry.
Girls just know.
The actress Musidora, not, not her real name, was a, a fetish for a whole generation cause, uh, Surrealists worshipped her.
She was a much more complex figure.
- What do you mean? - She was an artist, in her own right.
One of the first female directors.
In France, we had Alice Guy, Germaine Dulac, and her.
So, in the '70s, the first radical, uh, women's filmmaker collective was named after her.
- Uh-huh.
- Never knew that.
I didn't go to film school.
Oh, no, it's, it's local French culture.
You're not supposed to know, but, uh.
Well, I do know that she was a novelist and even a film critic.
She, uh, fell in love with a bullfighter, she shot some of her movies in Spain.
She was an adventurer.
I've done my research.
Irma Vep was only one side of her.
Yes, but, um, I also think everything is in Irma Vep.
Yeah, that's the way I see it, too.
She's a strong woman, very sensual free.
And she's bad.
- Yes, she is.
- Yeah, she's an outlaw.
- Yeah.
- How can I resist the opportunity to pay tribute to an outlaw? Because, uh, deep down, you are an outlaw yourself.
It's what we share.
Thanks for the compliment.
But I'm nowhere near her league.
What happened, Mr.
Guérande? The Vampires have a secret passage to my room, b-but last night, I discovered their trick.
I'll show you.
It's pretty cunning.
This wasn't there yesterday.
Ugh! It has to be the head of Chief Inspector Durtal.
These are the references we have.
This one is my favorite photo.
I love this one.
The one with Musidora.
Paul Poiret, the great fashion designer back then, fitted Musidora himself.
Ah, wow.
We have to do as well as he did.
Yep the line is perfect, seamless.
Now it's all, leather, leather, leather.
You take any of the American actresses, Scarlett Johansson in "The Avengers," Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry in "Catwoman," and so on, and so on, and so boring.
That's exactly why I chose silver velvet.
It's more sensual.
Pierre, can you bring us a sample, please? Of course.
Yeah, Irma Vep is not a, not a superhero.
She doesn't need body armor.
And, I mean, look she's not afraid of her femininity.
Her femininity is what scares her foes.
That is stunning.
You'll have to be careful because it's extremely fragile.
Uh, y-you do know that I'm gonna climb roofs in this costume, right? It's very different from what you usually see in movies.
This is, like, comfortable.
See how it plays with the light? Yeah, stunning.
We have a prototype.
- You want to try it? - Of course.
She's the original movie villainess and it's also about female empowerment.
It's not bad for a first try.
It is a little tight.
- Yeah, we'll fix that.
- Yeah, right here.
Love it.
She seems vulnerable, and that makes her all the more dangerous.
She was wicked.
She unleashed Feuillade's fantasies.
Individually, they had their limits, but together, they made film history.
The ghost of Irma Vep has been haunting cinema ever since.
Le menu.
Uh Mmm.
Oh, wow.
That is a lot of bags.
How are we with hair and make-up? Uh, we're still working on the make-up.
You texted.
I was in the neighborhood, so here I am.
Yeah, sorry, um, they now changed the schedule, so we don't have much time.
Doesn't matter.
You know, I thought I missed film shoots, I really did, but turns out I don't miss 'em at all.
You're wearing the costume.
Yeah, they, uh, need me in the catsuit.
Show me.
Come on please.
Show me how hot you are.
You know how hot I am.
Quite well.
- I forget.
- Oh, you do.
Take off your coat.
Good girl.
- Happy? - Mm-hm.
Why don't you stand up? Come on.
Stand up, Mira.
And now, do it like you used to do it for me.
Do it.
- Yeah.
- It's very cool.
Now turn around.
Turn around.
Ta-da! They're looking at me.
I like when they look at you.
It's embarrassing.
But you're turned on.
I don't want the crew to see me like this.
I know you when you're turned on.
I don't know.
You can sit.
I'm happy.
You know what I did today? Mm.
Yeah, I don't know.
Um, let me guess.
I think the reason why you put all these bags on display might be because you've been on a couture spree.
- Correct.
- Mm.
All the stores that you used to take me to.
Back when I was doing the buying, - and you were schlepping the bags.
- Mm-hm.
- Yes.
- And now you have your revenge.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
My revenge is to feel like I have you wrapped around my little finger.
- You do.
- I know.
Sit back.
Put your hands on the armchair.
Now open your legs.
Not too much.
Like this? Are you satisfied? Yes.
I like that very much.
Do you want me back? Say it.
I want you back please.
Say it again.
Please, Laurie, I want you back.
God, you're sexy when you beg.
But I have to go.
I have to drop off all of these bags at the Plaza Athénée.
I'm moving out of there.
- Where to? - Some cheaper place the French production booked.
You know what, darling? I'm glad I skipped this one.
Will I see you before you leave? If you come to the Plaza Athénée maybe we can have a drink or two.
What would you say to that? Mm, 6:30-ish.
I know you'll be there.
I'll take my leave.
I love you.
Break a leg.
Good evening.
Dear artist, allow me to introduce myself: I am the Count of Noirmoutier.
A modest admirer.
My Lord, I'm greatly honored by your interest in my work.
Would you accord me the infinite pleasure of joining me for supper tonight after your performance? I do not know whether I should.
Yes, I understand.
Accept this gift as proof of my noble intentions.
That is such a generous present.
It is but a small token of my profound admiration.
Let me help you put it on.
- Please.
- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
- All good.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Two minutes, please.
I'll be right back.
Car's loaded and ready to go.
I'll join you later.
I told you I have a meeting.
It's 7.
I thought your meeting was at 6:30? Yeah, obviously, they're running late.
What about your new suite? You don't wanna check it out? I trust you.
That's unlike you.
I'll be there in half an hour.
Take the van.
I'll keep the chauffeur.
- Wow.
- Oh, thank you.
Now I understand why it took some time.
Well, I did say 6:30-ish.
Well, the "-ish" ended about 40 minutes ago.
I had dresses that needed alterations, and they just kept me waiting and waiting, but I'm used to that.
- I often waited for your dresses.
- True.
Would you like to order, Madam? Um, no, actually, I'm, I'm fine.
I I should be going actually.
Are you fucking kidding me? I have dinner with Herman.
It's our last night in Paris.
We go back to LA tomorrow.
He booked this amazing reservation somewhere, but he won't tell me where.
He wants it to be a surprise.
How cute is that? Yeah, how kind of him.
He's a kind man.
Well I have to go, but we'll have more time in LA.
Will we? Yeah, I think we're in a more balanced relationship now, so we could spend more time together.
Fuck you, Laurie.
Not yet.

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