Irma Vep (2022) s01e08 Episode Script

The Terrible Wedding

1
Shadows speaking ♪
Midnight and dreaming ♪
Howls and screaming ♪
A full moon is gleaming ♪
Tinder the spark ♪
Tonight is ours ♪
I like the dark ♪
And you don't mind ♪
You're showing me signs ♪
You could be my kind tonight ♪
I'll hide, you find ♪
Tinder the spark ♪
Tonight is ours ♪
You light the dark ♪
With wicks you have lit ♪
A fire in the pit ♪
I can't see above ♪
So drink my kiss up ♪
Thank you. Merci.
- Hey, let's have a drink.
- I'm not gonna join you tonight.
Beautiful work tonight, though.
Thank you, guys. See ya.
Killed it.
God, I've missed you so much.
- You're here. You're here.
- Yeah.
I saw your bags when I
came back from the studio.
Yeah, I had them dropped off.
I was late for rehearsal.
- They wouldn't let me leave.
- Ugh.
I had to do the, um, fire scene.
Fire scene in space?
We get hit by an asteroid
and the circuit blows,
then the
spaceship sets on fire
and it starts spinning faster
and faster and faster
and enter another dimension
This green screen stuff,
it is so fucking tedious,
but I was thinking
about you the whole time.
That was why
you crashed into that asteroid.
Must be careful.
I wanted to see you in your space suit.
I could've come to set.
It's done, the rehearsal, for ages.
When did
we last see each other?
Four weeks ago in Reykjavík.
That's way too long.
From now on, like, two weeks, tops.
Unless something
incredibly important comes up
and then we'll leave.
And then I will say, "Bye-bye."
Obviously.
I kind of like that we have to
start from scratch every time.
Fun! Wait, who are
you? What's your name?
Hey, at least it's not boring.
I mean, I have no problem with boring.
I long for a boring life.
How was the show?
Great. It's just the usual
sea of rabid 11-year-olds.
Sounds amazing.
I'd give anything to cross over
into a more mature audience.
Mature audiences
fall asleep on the couch
watching Netflix.
Boom.
Is that what you want?
- Yeah, my ego does.
- Yeah, but the little kiddies love you.
- They go ape-shit for you.
- I'm 31 years old.
- That is not good.
- Stop whining.
The album's amazing.
It got amazing reviews.
It's a "New York Times"
Critic's Pick. It's done.
Will you marry me?
I, um, I wish people bought it.
Didn't sell, it didn't translate.
Kids are bored by it, and
I just don't interest adults.
I think, maybe
you're being in danger
of being unfair on your fans.
I love my fans.
I fucking love them, okay?
It's just the shows. They,
they have this weird vibe.
Like, half of the
audience wants to be there
and they're screaming
like I'm a K-pop star.
I don't even think they can
hear the music, they're so loud.
And the other half are their parents,
or even worse, their poor grandparents,
and would probably rather die
- than listen to my music.
- They probably will die
which is why you should stick
with the 11-year-olds.
That's where the money is.
At least you know what matters, baby.
I heard Mira was in town.
Yeah. She's doing some random series.
I don't know what it is.
She told me, but I forgot.
Do you
see a lot of her?
No, we had a drink once.
She used me as her therapist.
Why didn't
you tell me you saw her?
I'm not jealous.
Why would you be jealous?
Because she's beautiful and successful,
and you were
very much in love with her.
You're the most beautiful girl in the
world, and that was two years ago.
It's nothing. Nothing.
Two years? Are you serious?
I mean, think about it,
that's only four weeks
times 12 times two.
Dude, where is this going?
I don't know,
I Nowhere. I just
You're in Paris, you're bored, alone,
- maybe you need a little comforting.
- What?
Bubba, I spend my days in a space suit
hanging from wires
staring at green screens.
When I get home,
I fall asleep in the bathtub.
- Watching Netflix?
- Yeah.
- Masturbating?
- Yes.
So, she reached out to you?
Mm-hm. She called. We spoke.
She's not a part of my life.
I think if I'm honest, I would
happier if she was okay,
but there's nothing I can do about it.
It's like, we have everything.
You don't have
any feelings for her?
- Anymore? At all?
- No.
Come here.
- We could try again.
- Yeah, I want to.
You are so cute. I love you so much.
- Here is your new key.
- Thanks.
What's the panic?
Where the fuck were you?!
I've been trying you
nonstop for an hour!
Have you changed your meds
or do you have news?
I have unbelievably good news.
Are you sitting down?
Oh my god, yeah. I
- I worship him.
- I know you do.
We both do.
Yeah, but he makes, like, I don't know,
one film every five years?
Are you sure it's actually happening?
It is greenlit, okay,
starts shooting in six weeks,
but they will need you
in two for rehearsals.
I'll read it tonight.
- Well, there's no script.
- What do you mean?
Well, there is a script,
but no one is allowed to read it.
You haven't read it?
I haven't, but everyone who has says
it's going to sweep the Academy Awards.
Okay
s-so, uh
how am I supposed to make up my mind?
You've made up your mind.
It is a done deal.
You know, in this case,
- I'm fine with that.
- Hey, Jasmine.
Don't worry, I'm in a good mood today.
Any actress would kill for this part.
I myself would kill for this part.
You do not know how excited
I am about this for you.
- And for me.
- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just give me a minute.
This is gonna change your life.
So, I will go straight
from "The Vampires"
to whatever it's called?
"Kingdom Come,"
but you did not hear that from me.
"Kingdom Come"!
Is it adapted from the novel?!
Which novel?
What do you mean which novel?
Sorry, I didn't hear. A, a novel?
It was a huge bestseller.
- I loved it.
- Oh, looks fascinating.
Uh, yeah, it's an amazing part.
Uh, what's her name, uh?
M-Meredith?
Yeah, that's it. Meredith something.
Whatever.
You're his first choice.
He hasn't considered
any other actresses.
And now, he wants
to meet you in person.
Where does he live again?
Shetland Islands,
but he can meet in London.
He is, uh,
notoriously claustrophobic.
Okay. So, uh, what do we do about that?
He's okay to meet
in Kensington Gardens,
and he will bring
chocolate milk and cookies.
Chocolate milk and cookies?
Yes, it's a well-known fact.
He likes chocolate milk and cookies.
Right.
I could meet him the day
after tomorrow in the morning.
We're shooting nights this week.
Let me confirm
and come back to you, okay?
Okay, great.
Yes?
Your London trip is booked.
Eurostar, cabs, everything.
But not a word to Regina,
the driver, any frogs on the crew.
If the press gets wind of
this, we are dead meat.
Got it.
It is late in Paris and you
have to shoot tomorrow,
so I will let you sleep.
- 'Kay.
- Gotta go. Bye.
Bye.
So, uh, where you from?
- I grew up in New Jersey.
- Yes. Okay, uh.
But I moved to Paris
when I was still a child.
- So, your parents moved.
- No, not exactly.
My birth parents died in a car crash.
- Oh, uh.
- So,
I was raised by my aunt
and my grandmother.
- I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry to hear that.
- Mais tant pis.
I hardly remember my parents.
And I had a happy childhood.
So, did you always
want to be an actress?
I have been lucky.
I had the right teacher,
met the right people
ended up in drama school.
- I'm in my second year.
- Been in movies?
- Never.
- Do you want to?
Well, I'm here.
But tr-truth is, um
I'm sorry, I, I haven't
seen your films.
Oh, no, no, no, no. D-Don't feel bad.
They are not so easy to find.
Well, tell me about Philippe's wife.
Um, it's a way people lived back then.
She's a housewife.
Her, her, uh, hobby is, uh, knitting.
Knitting?
I have no idea how to knit.
But behold, behold, behold!
There is a twist.
What's the twist?
I won't spoil it, but, uh,
you will be surprised.
Come in.
Am I, uh, disturbing you?
No No, not at all.
Do you mind if we talk?
Anything serious?
No.
Is this, uh, your costume
for, uh, the scene with the medium?
You like it?
- Spooky.
- Thanks.
Mira, um
I want to thank you.
You brought me back from the brink.
Yeah
you had sunk pretty low.
I had lost trust in myself
and, uh, in this project.
You mean you lost confidence.
- Possibly.
- No genuine art stems from confidence.
You should be grateful for the doubts.
My anxieties
are the meanest.
How dare you be so arrogant?
I'm fully convinced
that my anxieties are
far worse than yours.
- Have you, um, seen the set?
- No.
Pretty creepy.
It's filled with evil spirits,
but don't worry.
I, uh, had it, uh, exorcised.
Wow.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I'm impressed.
How'd you go about it?
Hire a psychic?
Oh, um, technically,
each, uh, Diocese, uh,
has, uh, their own
designated exorcists,
but they are only summoned
for persistent paranormal activity.
- Which I'm guessing is not our case?
- No, no, no.
It was just a, a pre-emptive exorcism.
Mm, jellybeans?
Oh, thanks.
So, the, the priest came on his own
and he examined
the set very thoroughly.
He burned some incense,
and he said a few prayers.
- Amazing.
- And he gave it his blessing.
- I'm so relieved.
- I knew you would be.
- Look at me.
- No.
Look into my eyes, Augustine.
Like that.
Let yourself go.
Close your eyes.
Listen only to my voice.
You cannot resist.
You are mine. Listen only to my voice.
You want to obey. Say,
"I want to obey."
I want to obey.
Repeat, "I am entirely in your thrall."
I am entirely
in your thrall.
At 2:00 this morning,
you will open the door of
Philippe Guérande's apartment.
You will open it for The Vampires.
Who will you be opening it for?
For The Vampires.
I will obey.
I'll do your will.
Now wake up.
You've forgotten everything.
What happened?
Did you make contact
with the spirit of your husband?
Maybe.
It was like a dream.
Everything's fuzzy.
You have a late call tomorrow
and there's this party tonight.
Could be fun.
With the crew?
Mm.
More like with girls.
You asking me out?
I won't stay late.
Feel like coming?
No, I don't think so.
It's very low-key.
It's not the kind of crowd
that's gonna make
a big deal about who you are.
I wasn't worried.
Oh! Couch, quick.
You seem fond of this place.
You remember the
last time we were here?
I do remember.
You danced to this
cheesy, old pop song.
How can you call
"99 Luftballons" cheesy?
It's genius.
I felt you were dancing
for me that night.
- Ah.
- Were you?
I was four drinks in,
I think.
Is that an easy way out?
If I don't wanna hurt you, yes.
I get it.
I don't think you do.
Hey, I, uh I like you Zoe.
I mean, I
- I care about you.
- I do, too.
I was in love with Laurie.
And I guess, in a way, I
I still am.
- I was hoping I could help.
- You do.
It's just, um,
I'm desperately attracted to Laurie
even when she's being horrible to me.
Maybe I'm even more
attracted to her when
she's horrible to me,
but
I don't even
think I'm into girls.
You are. No, you are.
- No, I
- You just suppress it.
No. I don't think so.
With other girls,
I've just tried to recreate
what I had with Laurie.
Don't think she's even
that much into girls either.
She dumped you for a basic douche.
You're so wrong.
Laurie she's into snatch, but,
where there's gold
Laurie digs.
Will you dance for me?
If you do me a favor.
What type of favor?
- Can you give me a ride?
- Where to?
- Eurostar.
- What?
I-I'm off to London.
I, I have a Like a
An important meeting
there in the morning.
And I'll be back
before we start tomorrow.
Mm.
Dance.
- Is that a yes?
- That's a yes.
Except for the strings on my kite ♪
Judy in disguise ♪
Hey, that's what you are ♪
A lemonade pie ♪
Hey, got your brand new car ♪
Cantaloupe eyes come to me tonight ♪
Judy in disguise, with glasses ♪
- Is this the bus lane?
- I don't know.
- Thanks.
- What kind of meeting is it?
Uh, can't really say much, but, um
I'll see you on set tomorrow night!
And don't tell anyone, okay?
- Promise?
- Promise!
Tell your
London girlfriend I say hi!
You got a light?
Yeah.
- You play Philippe's wife?
- I do.
And you're Regina
Moritz, Mira's assistant.
I am.
Such a fan of hers.
It's kind of intimidating.
No, she's really easygoing.
There's talk on the set.
You're leaving Mira
and directing a feature.
Yeah, shooting in the U.K.
- Do you want coffee?
- Sure.
Let's go.
I've seen your shorts.
They're so powerful.
That's very kind of you.
Can I ask what your film is about?
If you can't say, it's, it's cool.
Yeah, but it's kind
of funny you would ask.
Why is that?
'Cause you're the first. Not even Mira.
Everyone's thrilled I'm moving on,
but no one really cares where.
- Is Mira in it?
- No.
Whole cast is pretty young, late teens.
Mostly unknowns.
- Small budget?
- More like no budget.
But that's fine by me, honestly.
That's the way it should be done.
Well, the main
character is a young girl.
There's a brutal
civil war on her planet,
and to protect her,
her parents fly her
to Earth on a spaceship,
promising they'll come back,
but she waits and waits and
they don't come back, so
she has to learn on her own
how to survive in this strange world.
I love it.
- But it-it's a sad story.
- I mean, she adapts,
and finds some sort
of happiness on Earth.
Still. It-it's sad.
And it's, it's scarily
similar to my own story.
Similar?
My parents were American.
- Hm.
- They died.
They left me on my own.
I was adopted myself,
and movies were a refuge.
I understand.
I'm
I'm usually too embarrassed
to ask but
I-I'd, I'd really love to be involved.
If I could attend the shoot,
even for a few days.
Are you sure? We There's
hardly any money involved.
It doesn't matter.
I don't see it as a job.
I mean, I'll think about it.
I could use an assistant.
Aah!
- What happened?
- It's The Vampires. They just fled.
Ahh, no! Damnit!
We missed them again.
Aah!
Come in.
Oh, hi.
Hey.
So, uh, something urgent
you want to discuss?
Yeah, I have a favor to ask.
Please, anything you want.
Um, in, um, in the story,
once the police break into,
uh, the wedding party,
the Vampires flee in a panic.
It's chaos.
And then, um,
the balcony collapses
- Yeah.
- Most of 'em die.
Yes. That's the idea, yeah.
Okay, mm.
Maybe you don't need Lily
Flower for those scenes?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She is part of the gang, so.
Okay, but in Feuillade's version,
we don't see her.
Oh. No, but I, I, I
tried to flesh her out.
- Yeah, um.
- Hm.
Eh, do you mind if
I grab myself a beer?
Oh no, of course. Yeah.
- Uhh, do you have, um.
- Uhh
- Oh I don't have one to open that.
- Yeah Yeah, okay.
Oh! Ay!
- Whoops.
- Excuse me, excuse me, uh.
- Here, here.
- Sorry, uh.
I had to show off.
- Well
- It's, it's okay. It's okay.
- D-D-Don't worry. Mm.
- Yeah? Okay.
Sometimes less is more.
- Meaning?
- Meaning, uh,
let her disappear.
Who cares about seeing her dead body?
So, uh
so you want to, to,
to leave a day earlier?
If that's fine with you.
Um
I feel like I've been
away for too long.
I can do my last scene today
and then leave tomorrow?
Oh, I
- I disappointed you.
- No, no, no.
Why would you say that?
I imagined you would be, um
Jade's surrogate.
But you have Mira. She's the surrogate.
I wanted you to be
the spirit of Jade
haunting the film.
But Lily Flower is no Irma Vep.
And Cynthia Keng is no Jade Lee,
which is fine by me.
And I still had fun.
I, uh, I understand.
And also, you shouldn't worry.
Jade's spirit has been with us.
What do you mean?
She has been watching over us.
You sure about that?
Positive.
Can
Can I ask you a question?
- Of course.
- Um
Have you ever met Jade
in Hong Kong?
She's kind of a recluse nowadays.
If, if you ever meet her
can you say hello for me?
Ah!
What?
- So? So let's so.
- So what?
How did the meeting go?
What meeting?
I have my spies.
- Spies?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Even in LA.
- Oh.
- Especially in LA.
- Especially in LA.
- Yeah, you know, news travels fast.
- I see.
- Do you mind if I sit?
- Of course not.
Right, um,
- the meeting
- Mm-hm.
Was great.
He's, like, the nicest person.
- Mm.
- So unassuming.
I never met him myself,
but, uh
so I've heard.
Mm.
D-Do you mind if
Shh.
You
You will play Meredith in, uh,
"Kingdom Come," right?
Such a beautiful part.
I have you to thank.
Why?
It's such an obvious bit of casting.
I wouldn't have been ready for it.
That's very kind, but
- No, it's very kind, but I don't agree.
- Don't.
I don't agree.
Doesn't matter, it's true.
Or let's say that Irma Vep
she taught me.
Sounds more like it.
She reconciled me with acting.
You know, I, I was angry.
I was, like, really angry with acting.
The pleasure was gone.
How did she do that?
By showing me
that acting
is more
than acting.
But, uh, you always
knew that, didn't you?
Yeah, but I think I was
a bit afraid of it.
You
You were afraid of the spirits.
Possibly.
But spirits are good
if you welcome them.
And to act, you have to welcome them.
Yes.
But the other
day, I felt
like I was losing
the spirit of Irma Vep.
Of course.
That's the way.
That's the way? W-Why do you say that?
She will only inhabit you
while you embody her in our film.
But, um, when your thoughts move away,
when, uh, your fate
takes you elsewhere,
she will look for another vessel.
You mean, she,
she doesn't need me anymore?
Or you could also turn it around
and say you don't need her anymore.
Because, uh
you will meet, uh
other spirits.
Like Meredith.
Meredith, eh,
is, uh, another breed.
She has nothing to do with darkness.
- But everything to do with the light.
- She does.
You will embrace her.
But heed her.
I will.
Because light
is more difficult to reach
than darkness.
- Go, go, go.
- Hurry up, guys!
Come on! Hurry up!
Go, go, go!
Raining like hell
and the wind gonna come ♪
Gotta make sure that
the work is all done ♪
Get out the shovel
and bag up the sand ♪
There's a hurricane
headed for Louisiana ♪
Got a hurricane watch on the radio ♪
Gonna have a party
like Saturday night ♪
Grab a brand new battery
for my old flashlight ♪
Got a hurricane watch on the radio ♪
Hmm.
Ah
Ugh.
This one?
Um, you know what, I
think she'll prefer this one.
Yeah, thank you.
Ah!
Uh-huh.
Um
Mm.
The police are raiding us,
and on my wedding day.
You will pay for this.
You think it's over for The Vampires,
but I am The Vampires,
and they will never catch me.
Be warned
vengeance will be mine.
Cut, cut!
Can we try one more, please?
Galatée, please, can you
wait a bit before shooting, huh?
And, and M-Mira, please, uh,
wait a second before you fall, okay?
97/1, take six.
And action.
The police are raiding us,
and on my wedding day.
You will pay for this.
You think it's over for The Vampires,
but I am The Vampires,
and they will never catch me.
Be warned
Mm.
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