Just Good Friends (1983) s03e03 Episode Script
Meeting by Chance
1 Oh, thank God.
I thought it was somebody important.
No, it's only me.
Oh, no.
What s wrong now? - There s nothing wrong? - So why the designer sack cloth? Elaine, there is nothing wrong.
I'm fine.
Really.
What do you mean, designer sack cloth? This little number cost me 3,500 francs.
That s well, £350, give or take a centime.
It's from the Yves Saint-Laurent funeral collection.
- This is considered very chic in Paris.
- But you re not in Paris now.
Please, don't remind me.
Oh, why did I ever come home? Did it have anything to do with the managing director s telegram, saying, 'Get your arse back here immediately'? Well, that may have influenced my decision.
Oh.
I was so happy over there.
I had my own work, my own clients, my own ideas.
Now I've been pulled back here as a stopgap for someone else's campaign.
'Say I love you with a Caress.
' God! Have you seen some of the ingredients in this junk? We are supposed to persuade parents to give this crud to their offspring as a sign of affection.
We re supposed to convince kiddie-winkies that this cholesterol time bomb is a token of friendship.
Say 'I love you' with 58g of animal fat, emulsifiers, calcium sulphate, citric acid, E102, E124, E322, E100, and crocin.
How s this for a new slogan? Tooth-rotting, artery-blocking, heart-stopping.
Say 'drop dead' with a Caress.
That's very good.
- Why don't you suggest it to them later? - Who? The people from the King Herod chocolate factory.
They re meeting you at 12.
Are they? Oh, God.
Is that my only appointment? No, in about five minutes you have Ms Georgina Marshall from Véronique Fashions.
They asked for you by name.
You were recommended.
That should make you happy.
Yes, it does.
I'm happy.
Well, I d hate to be around when you hit a low point.
Look, why don't you tell me what s happened, hmm? Otherwise I'll have to start prying and going through your handbag when you re out of the room.
Oh, look, it's very silly and very boring.
I see.
It's a man.
Mm-hm.
I should have guessed.
The last time I saw you like this was well, years ago during the reign of thingamabob, Vic.
- Vince.
- Mmm.
So, who is it this time? Vince.
- But I thought - So did I.
But Well, I mean, how? Well, he kind of came over to Paris for the weekend and kind of stayed at my place.
OK, so he stayed at your place.
Why the big depression? Has he lost his touch? On the contrary.
He s gained something.
This I've got to hear.
He s gained a wife.
- Vince? - Mm-hm.
Got married about a year ago.
I don't believe it.
What happened to his phobia about wedding cakes? He must have been to a faith healer.
Did he tell you he was married? No, of course not.
No, Vincent hasn't changed in that way.
He s still captain of the British liars.
So, what did you do? Well, what could I do? It had happened.
I couldn't turn the clock back.
So I simply decided never to see him or talk to him again.
And I mean never.
So you saw him last night? Well, he wanted me to hear his side of the argument.
How many times have I told you? Men don't have sides to arguments.
Shut up.
He took me to this flat.
- I'm not hearing this.
- Will you listen? We needed to be somewhere private so he could talk and I could ignore him.
Anyway, Vince had to go out to buy some drink so I had a little look round the flat, purely out of interest, you understand.
Well, it took me back to all those years before our wedding.
Vince and I were buying a flat.
We used to call it our first home.
We used to discuss the decorations and furniture and try and imagine what it would look like when it was finished.
It never was finished.
At least, not for us.
Well, I hated him last night.
I hated him for all the ways he finds to hurt me.
And do you know what hurt me the most? I've no idea.
I mean, it's perm any four from ten, isn't it? It was that flat.
I kept thinking, he could do this for her but not for me.
Well, I found myself in the bedroom.
And there was this wardrobe filled with made-to-measure suits and shirts.
Well, at that moment I hated Vincent rotten Pinner more than I d ever hated him before.
I wanted to get even.
I wanted revenge and Oh, Elaine.
I took a pair of scissors and I cut all the clothes into pieces.
You did what? I hacked away at every piece of clothing in that wardrobe.
I cut lapels off overcoats, sleeves off suits, and collars off shirts.
- Atta-girl! - Oh, it was such a mess.
But I bet you feel better for it.
Yes, wonderful.
Come on, Penny.
He deserved it.
No, but you don't understand.
I found out later that it wasn't Vince's flat.
It was his best man, Lennie what's-his-name's flat.
Vince had borrowed it for a couple of hours.
You cut poor Lennie what's-his-name's clothes to pieces? - I didn't know.
- Does Lennie what's-his-name know? It's difficult not to know when your wardrobe s been put through a shredder.
Oh, what can I do? Well, wear something plain, like that.
Don't put any make-up on.
Redden your eyes as if you've been crying and throw yourself on the mercy of the magistrate.
Oh, God! Oh! - Can I help you? - Georgina Marshall, Véronique Fashions.
Of course.
Do come in.
Penny, Ms Marshall, Véronique Fashions.
Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you.
Er, yes.
Um, do sit down, please.
Thank you.
Hay fever.
Hello, Len.
What do you want? Got yourself another old bag? We need to talk.
Of course.
Come in.
Don't say a word.
Fine.
Thank you.
Just what I've always wanted, a pile of old rags on my floor.
- That is not a pile of old rags.
- I'll tell you what, Len.
It don't half look like a pile of old rags.
That is my entire wardrobe.
That s my suits, my shirts, my coats, everything.
And I'm still paying 2.
5% interest on that lot.
I'd take it back if I were you.
I don't believe him.
You borrowed my flat last She's not here, is she? - No, she's at work.
- Thank God for that.
Amen.
- You borrowed my flat last night, right? - Yeah.
You took the mad lady back there.
So? When me and Angie left the flat, my clothes were in perfect condition.
When we returned four hours later, this what we found.
Now think very carefully, Vincent, have you any idea what might have caused this? Moths? Yeah, a bloody great big nutty moth called Penelope Warrender.
Why would Penny ruin your clothes? I don't know.
It must have been her.
Did you leave her alone in the flat? No.
Well, only for a couple of minutes when I popped down the off-licence.
Oh, I see it all now, Len.
She got a bit bored and naturally went into someone else s bedroom and ripped all their clothes up.
Well, we've all done it at one time or another.
Have you got a better explanation? Now, this may sound a bit far-fetched, Leonard, but please hear me out.
Have you ever heard of a thing called acid rain? Oh! Well, I'm sorry.
It's early.
It's the best I can do.
Hold on.
Did you tell her it was my flat? I can't remember what I said.
What are you getting at? What I'm getting at is this.
If you didn't tell her, she might have thought it was your flat.
She might have thought it was your bedroom, your clothes she was doing the chainsaw bleeding massacre on.
It's beginning to make sense now, Len.
She can be a very strange girl at times.
Oh, well, we've got to the bottom of it.
Want a coffee? A coffee! Vinnie, these are the only things I've got.
I'm in business.
I've got people to meet.
Treat yourself to a new wardrobe.
Yeah, ta.
Look, Vince, this wasn't the real reason I came round here.
I mean, the money s not important.
There ain't enough there anyway.
When me and Angie got back to the flat last night and discovered the disaster area that was once my wardrobe, - I got rather - Childish? Upset.
I went and told Angie what had happened.
I told her you and Penny had borrowed the flat.
What could I do? She thought we d been vandalised.
- She wanted to call the police.
- Is that all you told her, Lennie? - Yeah.
- Lennie! Well, I did sort of mention that you and Penny had bumped into each other in Paris.
That's all I said.
I didn't give any details.
You just bumped into each other, that's all.
You do realise that your girlfriend and my wife are best friends? Yeah, but I made her swear to keep her mouth shut, Vince.
- She took an oath on it.
- So she's bound to tell her.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
Do you realise what this means? My wife will be seeking revenge.
She might pack her bags and walk out.
Or she might be really cruel and stay.
This could result in divorce proceedings and me losing half my business, this flat and my car.
I could end up losing nigh on everything I've worked and swindled for.
Still it's a nice day for it, isn't it? Thank you.
Now, this is the device used by many of the French fashion houses.
They place a black and white ad in a full colour magazine.
They feel it catches the eye, comes as a surprise to the readers and therefore has more impact.
Yes, that s quite interesting.
Well, I felt that with the obvious quality of your clothes, we shouldn't be seen to be advertising.
Oh, of course, we will be advertising, but in such a way as to suggest that the clothes speak for themselves.
In other words, no gimmicks or slogans, just a straightforward black and white print and the name of your company at the bottom, that's all.
Tell me, are you keen on fashion? Yes, I'm keen on fashion.
Living in Paris as I normally do, one can be nothing but keen on fashion.
Penny s very influenced by the designers of the Left Bank.
Of the Manchester Ship Canal.
Mmm? Penny, it's for you.
No calls, Elaine.
I'm in conference.
It's Vince.
Oh.
- Would you excuse me for a moment? - Oh, please carry on.
- Hello? - Hello, Pen? It's me, Vince.
Yes, I know.
What is it? What do you want first? The bad news, the really bad news, or the shatteringly bad news? - I'm easy, Vince.
- Right.
- Lennie called round this morning.
- Oh.
- Why did you do it, Pen? - I didn't know they were his clothes.
I thought it was your bedroom I was in.
Look, tell him I'll pay for them all to be replaced.
Don't worry, Pen.
That s all been taken care of.
No, I'll pay.
Fine.
You owe me the money, then.
Now for the really bad news.
Lenny told his girlfriend Angela that you and I had borrowed the flat.
Oh, no.
- He also told her we'd met in Paris.
- Oh, wonderful.
The thing is, Pen, Angela just happens to be my wife s best friend.
Oh, great, Vincent.
Absolutely perfect.
You were right when you said it was shatteringly bad news.
No, that s not the shatteringly bad news, Pen.
I haven't come to the shatteringly bad news yet.
- You mean there's more? - Oh, boy, yeah.
I just phoned Gina at her office.
She's not there.
They said she was on her way up to meet you.
She's coming here? Well, when? I don't know.
Any time now.
God! Look, I'm terribly sorry about all Tell me, Georgina, do people ever simply call you Gina? My husband does.
Hello? Oh, you re there, Pen.
Mmm.
So's Gina.
Yeah, well, I just thought I d let you know.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
Vincent.
Oh, hello, dear.
You re not going out tonight, are you? Well, actually, I was.
That wasn't a question, Vince.
Oh, I see.
No, I'm not going out tonight.
Good.
Well, I'll see you later, darling.
This is not what I had in mind.
Elaine, could we have two coffees, please? - The machine s broken.
- Could you go to the delicatessen, then? They might be closed.
They might not.
I suppose this is why you asked for me personally.
Mm-hm.
I didn't announce myself immediately.
Firstly, I wanted to observe you to see why my husband is so fascinated by you.
And secondly, I thought you might have suffered a bereavement.
No, this is the fashion in Paris.
Ah, yes, Paris.
Such a romantic city.
Yes.
You You don't use your married name.
No, Pinner sounds so common.
Marshall is my maiden and trade name.
I tried combining the two once, Marshall-Pinner, but it had overtones of Dodge City and there are enough cowboys in the rag trade as it is.
- Look - You re not doing anything this evening? That's not a question either, is it? - No.
- No, I'm not doing anything.
Good.
I thought it was time the three of us met and talked this over.
You've been to the flat? Vince has taken you there, I suppose? No, he hasn't.
Really? Oh, he can be so rude sometimes.
But that s half his charm, isn't it? Is it? 8:30.
By the way, I do like your ideas.
Thank you.
Oh.
Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask, do you take sugar? Darling, would you put this on for me? Don't you think I'd look a bit silly? The first thing I noticed about you was your sense of humour.
Then I thought, 'Well, no one s perfect.
' Do you realise, this will be the first evening we've spent together for - Oh, it must be months.
- It must be.
It's a shame that girl s coming, isn't it? - Penny.
- Mmm.
Still, perhaps she won't stay for too long.
We can have the rest of the night to ourselves.
Would you like that? Drink? My usual.
- What s that? - Vodka and tonic.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's most probably that girl.
Shall I? Yes, darling.
You let her in.
I'll see to the drink.
Darling! Last time she called me darling the English teams were still in Europe.
Bastard.
- How are you? - How am I? I feel sick, Vincent.
Well, be careful, Pen.
This stuff costs £45 a yard.
Why have you dragged me into your nightmare? Everything s going to be all right.
Come in.
I warn you now, she's in a funny mood.
- Don't make any jokes in there? - Jokes! Er, Gina, this is Penny.
Penny - Oh, you've met, haven't you? - Yes.
- Yes.
Darling, why don't you take? - Penny.
Why don't you take her coat so feels the benefit when she leaves? - Your coat, Pen.
- Oh, yes, thank you.
- Have you come straight from work? - Yes.
Oh, I'm glad we didn't put you to all the bother of changing.
No, I got rather tied up at a meeting for a new chocolate bar we re advertising.
Oh, yes, I noticed it while you were on the phone to my husband.
'Say I love you with a Caress.
' What are you trying to do? Put the romance back into acne? Yes.
Well, sit down, Penny.
Make yourself at home.
Oh, thank you.
Right.
Yes.
Er, do you want a sandwich or something? Well, sit yourself down, darling.
Er, yes.
Shall I put some music on? O Grady says do this.
Why don't you get Penny a drink, darling? - Oh, right.
Usual, Pen? - Yes, please.
Do you ever get lonely, living in a foreign city? Oh, occasionally.
Must be lovely when friends pop over to see you.
Yes, it's Yes.
Wasn't it fortunate, you and my husband meeting again like that? When he told me about his business trip to Paris, I thought to myself, 'I wonder if he'll bump into that girl again, ' and sure enough he did.
I imagine you had a lovely time.
Hm, darling? Absolutely.
Yes, it was It was fun.
I showed Vince some sights.
Did you? Did you like that as well, darling? Yeah, that was the best part of it.
Darling.
Um, look, I think I should explain.
You see, Vince and I have been friends for many years now.
Oh, yes, he's told me about you.
Weren't you his fiancée once? Yes.
It was a long time ago.
Well, it was lovely meeting again after all this time, accidentally.
We had lots of laughs, talking about the old days, that kind of thing.
Vince was telling me all that had been happening to him.
Did he tell you he was married? No, he didn't say a thing about it, did you? No.
- It completely slipped my mind.
- So you didn't realise it was adultery? No, I didn't have a a clue.
Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it to sound like that.
Please don't get the wrong idea.
We didn't sleep together, did we? I think you dropped off at one point but I couldn't get used to the traffic noise.
Wonderful.
Pen, come on.
There s no point in pretending.
Of course there isn't.
I knew what his game was the moment he mentioned a business trip.
If it hadn't been you, it would have been one of his others.
Come on, Gina.
That's not fair.
As God is my witness, I swear to you, and you, there's been no one else.
Oh, how sweet.
You've been faithful to both of us.
So here we are, slap bang in the middle of an eternal triangle.
Right now I wish it was the Bermuda Triangle.
Two women in the life of one man.
What are we going to do? I don't know how you two feel about this, but as far as Shut it.
Fine, fine.
Just trying to help, that's all.
I'll just, um I'll just You still love him, don't you? I most certainly do not.
You passed the test with flying colours.
Test? What test? When I said to you in your office that we should meet tonight and talk this thing over, that was the test.
If it had been a casual affair, a weekend romance, you would have told me exactly what to do with my invitation.
Nothing on earth would have dragged you to this inquisition.
But I knew that if you still loved him, you would turn up and suffer.
And sure enough, you arrived, right on the dot.
That proved nothing.
I was brought up not to break engagements.
It's a pity Vincent wasn't, isn't it? Oh, I'm sorry.
That was cruel of me, throwing the past in your face.
Let me ask you something, Mrs Pinner, do you love your husband? I married Vince for one reason and one reason only.
His family are very wealthy.
Oh, peasants, yes, but rich peasants.
Where do you think my shops came from? Pinner Investments.
I realised the moment I signed that marriage certificate that I was entitled to half of that company.
That company is still expanding.
So, the longer I stay with the family, the richer I become.
The strange thing is the Pinners, Reet'n'Les, they think the world of me.
I can't abide them.
Whenever they re in town, I go back to my parents place.
Really? How is Transylvania these days? What s to stop me telling Vince all that you've told me? Tell him.
It wouldn't make any difference.
I can control him, you see.
He's like putty when I get to work on him.
A certain smile, a little look, and the right kind of promise and he's a pussy cat.
No, you think you re controlling him but you re not.
He does exactly what he wants to do.
That s the difference between us, darling.
You couldn't do it.
But I can.
That's why I have the ring and half the company and you you have the journey home.
It's been nice.
Yes, you're right.
We are very different and yet we've both been successful, one way or another.
Everything I have achieved has been through hard work, long hours and lots and lots of effort.
I've done it all off my own back.
Whereas you, darling, have done it all on your back.
Ciao.
Hang on, Pen, I've just got the crisps and the nuts.
Oh, let her go, darling.
She said she wanted to think things over.
She wanted to be alone.
She said she wasn't sure of anything any more.
Oh, but I am, Vince.
I honestly believe that this could make us stronger.
Why don't we talk about it in bed? Hm? Oh, talk to her if you must.
Then come back.
Pen, wait a minute, will you? Why? Why what? Why, of all the advertising agencies in London, did she have to choose mine? - Well, I recommended it.
- You did? I didn't know all this was going to happen.
Oh, Vince.
Why do you want me? Because I love you.
Well, then, why did you marry her? I don't know, really.
I wanted to appear on Mr & Mrs! - Why? - She told me she was pregnant.
Do you mean you have a child? No, she wasn't really pregnant.
Two days after the wedding, she calmly announced the false alarm.
I went straight to the vicar's to see if there were any loopholes, but I was lumbered.
She only did it for the money.
That s all she's interested in.
- Then why don't you leave her? - I am.
I'm leaving now.
I'm going to my parents house.
They re in Portugal so the place is empty.
- I don't suppose you? - No.
She's evil, Vincent.
She thinks she's got some kind of hold on you.
No chance, Pen.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to bring you into all this.
I just couldn't help it.
Do you love me? I'll call you tomorrow at the yard.
Oh, Vince, promise me you won't go back in there.
I promise.
- What s wrong? - Nothing.
I've got a little present for you.
Pen?
I thought it was somebody important.
No, it's only me.
Oh, no.
What s wrong now? - There s nothing wrong? - So why the designer sack cloth? Elaine, there is nothing wrong.
I'm fine.
Really.
What do you mean, designer sack cloth? This little number cost me 3,500 francs.
That s well, £350, give or take a centime.
It's from the Yves Saint-Laurent funeral collection.
- This is considered very chic in Paris.
- But you re not in Paris now.
Please, don't remind me.
Oh, why did I ever come home? Did it have anything to do with the managing director s telegram, saying, 'Get your arse back here immediately'? Well, that may have influenced my decision.
Oh.
I was so happy over there.
I had my own work, my own clients, my own ideas.
Now I've been pulled back here as a stopgap for someone else's campaign.
'Say I love you with a Caress.
' God! Have you seen some of the ingredients in this junk? We are supposed to persuade parents to give this crud to their offspring as a sign of affection.
We re supposed to convince kiddie-winkies that this cholesterol time bomb is a token of friendship.
Say 'I love you' with 58g of animal fat, emulsifiers, calcium sulphate, citric acid, E102, E124, E322, E100, and crocin.
How s this for a new slogan? Tooth-rotting, artery-blocking, heart-stopping.
Say 'drop dead' with a Caress.
That's very good.
- Why don't you suggest it to them later? - Who? The people from the King Herod chocolate factory.
They re meeting you at 12.
Are they? Oh, God.
Is that my only appointment? No, in about five minutes you have Ms Georgina Marshall from Véronique Fashions.
They asked for you by name.
You were recommended.
That should make you happy.
Yes, it does.
I'm happy.
Well, I d hate to be around when you hit a low point.
Look, why don't you tell me what s happened, hmm? Otherwise I'll have to start prying and going through your handbag when you re out of the room.
Oh, look, it's very silly and very boring.
I see.
It's a man.
Mm-hm.
I should have guessed.
The last time I saw you like this was well, years ago during the reign of thingamabob, Vic.
- Vince.
- Mmm.
So, who is it this time? Vince.
- But I thought - So did I.
But Well, I mean, how? Well, he kind of came over to Paris for the weekend and kind of stayed at my place.
OK, so he stayed at your place.
Why the big depression? Has he lost his touch? On the contrary.
He s gained something.
This I've got to hear.
He s gained a wife.
- Vince? - Mm-hm.
Got married about a year ago.
I don't believe it.
What happened to his phobia about wedding cakes? He must have been to a faith healer.
Did he tell you he was married? No, of course not.
No, Vincent hasn't changed in that way.
He s still captain of the British liars.
So, what did you do? Well, what could I do? It had happened.
I couldn't turn the clock back.
So I simply decided never to see him or talk to him again.
And I mean never.
So you saw him last night? Well, he wanted me to hear his side of the argument.
How many times have I told you? Men don't have sides to arguments.
Shut up.
He took me to this flat.
- I'm not hearing this.
- Will you listen? We needed to be somewhere private so he could talk and I could ignore him.
Anyway, Vince had to go out to buy some drink so I had a little look round the flat, purely out of interest, you understand.
Well, it took me back to all those years before our wedding.
Vince and I were buying a flat.
We used to call it our first home.
We used to discuss the decorations and furniture and try and imagine what it would look like when it was finished.
It never was finished.
At least, not for us.
Well, I hated him last night.
I hated him for all the ways he finds to hurt me.
And do you know what hurt me the most? I've no idea.
I mean, it's perm any four from ten, isn't it? It was that flat.
I kept thinking, he could do this for her but not for me.
Well, I found myself in the bedroom.
And there was this wardrobe filled with made-to-measure suits and shirts.
Well, at that moment I hated Vincent rotten Pinner more than I d ever hated him before.
I wanted to get even.
I wanted revenge and Oh, Elaine.
I took a pair of scissors and I cut all the clothes into pieces.
You did what? I hacked away at every piece of clothing in that wardrobe.
I cut lapels off overcoats, sleeves off suits, and collars off shirts.
- Atta-girl! - Oh, it was such a mess.
But I bet you feel better for it.
Yes, wonderful.
Come on, Penny.
He deserved it.
No, but you don't understand.
I found out later that it wasn't Vince's flat.
It was his best man, Lennie what's-his-name's flat.
Vince had borrowed it for a couple of hours.
You cut poor Lennie what's-his-name's clothes to pieces? - I didn't know.
- Does Lennie what's-his-name know? It's difficult not to know when your wardrobe s been put through a shredder.
Oh, what can I do? Well, wear something plain, like that.
Don't put any make-up on.
Redden your eyes as if you've been crying and throw yourself on the mercy of the magistrate.
Oh, God! Oh! - Can I help you? - Georgina Marshall, Véronique Fashions.
Of course.
Do come in.
Penny, Ms Marshall, Véronique Fashions.
Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you.
Er, yes.
Um, do sit down, please.
Thank you.
Hay fever.
Hello, Len.
What do you want? Got yourself another old bag? We need to talk.
Of course.
Come in.
Don't say a word.
Fine.
Thank you.
Just what I've always wanted, a pile of old rags on my floor.
- That is not a pile of old rags.
- I'll tell you what, Len.
It don't half look like a pile of old rags.
That is my entire wardrobe.
That s my suits, my shirts, my coats, everything.
And I'm still paying 2.
5% interest on that lot.
I'd take it back if I were you.
I don't believe him.
You borrowed my flat last She's not here, is she? - No, she's at work.
- Thank God for that.
Amen.
- You borrowed my flat last night, right? - Yeah.
You took the mad lady back there.
So? When me and Angie left the flat, my clothes were in perfect condition.
When we returned four hours later, this what we found.
Now think very carefully, Vincent, have you any idea what might have caused this? Moths? Yeah, a bloody great big nutty moth called Penelope Warrender.
Why would Penny ruin your clothes? I don't know.
It must have been her.
Did you leave her alone in the flat? No.
Well, only for a couple of minutes when I popped down the off-licence.
Oh, I see it all now, Len.
She got a bit bored and naturally went into someone else s bedroom and ripped all their clothes up.
Well, we've all done it at one time or another.
Have you got a better explanation? Now, this may sound a bit far-fetched, Leonard, but please hear me out.
Have you ever heard of a thing called acid rain? Oh! Well, I'm sorry.
It's early.
It's the best I can do.
Hold on.
Did you tell her it was my flat? I can't remember what I said.
What are you getting at? What I'm getting at is this.
If you didn't tell her, she might have thought it was your flat.
She might have thought it was your bedroom, your clothes she was doing the chainsaw bleeding massacre on.
It's beginning to make sense now, Len.
She can be a very strange girl at times.
Oh, well, we've got to the bottom of it.
Want a coffee? A coffee! Vinnie, these are the only things I've got.
I'm in business.
I've got people to meet.
Treat yourself to a new wardrobe.
Yeah, ta.
Look, Vince, this wasn't the real reason I came round here.
I mean, the money s not important.
There ain't enough there anyway.
When me and Angie got back to the flat last night and discovered the disaster area that was once my wardrobe, - I got rather - Childish? Upset.
I went and told Angie what had happened.
I told her you and Penny had borrowed the flat.
What could I do? She thought we d been vandalised.
- She wanted to call the police.
- Is that all you told her, Lennie? - Yeah.
- Lennie! Well, I did sort of mention that you and Penny had bumped into each other in Paris.
That's all I said.
I didn't give any details.
You just bumped into each other, that's all.
You do realise that your girlfriend and my wife are best friends? Yeah, but I made her swear to keep her mouth shut, Vince.
- She took an oath on it.
- So she's bound to tell her.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
Do you realise what this means? My wife will be seeking revenge.
She might pack her bags and walk out.
Or she might be really cruel and stay.
This could result in divorce proceedings and me losing half my business, this flat and my car.
I could end up losing nigh on everything I've worked and swindled for.
Still it's a nice day for it, isn't it? Thank you.
Now, this is the device used by many of the French fashion houses.
They place a black and white ad in a full colour magazine.
They feel it catches the eye, comes as a surprise to the readers and therefore has more impact.
Yes, that s quite interesting.
Well, I felt that with the obvious quality of your clothes, we shouldn't be seen to be advertising.
Oh, of course, we will be advertising, but in such a way as to suggest that the clothes speak for themselves.
In other words, no gimmicks or slogans, just a straightforward black and white print and the name of your company at the bottom, that's all.
Tell me, are you keen on fashion? Yes, I'm keen on fashion.
Living in Paris as I normally do, one can be nothing but keen on fashion.
Penny s very influenced by the designers of the Left Bank.
Of the Manchester Ship Canal.
Mmm? Penny, it's for you.
No calls, Elaine.
I'm in conference.
It's Vince.
Oh.
- Would you excuse me for a moment? - Oh, please carry on.
- Hello? - Hello, Pen? It's me, Vince.
Yes, I know.
What is it? What do you want first? The bad news, the really bad news, or the shatteringly bad news? - I'm easy, Vince.
- Right.
- Lennie called round this morning.
- Oh.
- Why did you do it, Pen? - I didn't know they were his clothes.
I thought it was your bedroom I was in.
Look, tell him I'll pay for them all to be replaced.
Don't worry, Pen.
That s all been taken care of.
No, I'll pay.
Fine.
You owe me the money, then.
Now for the really bad news.
Lenny told his girlfriend Angela that you and I had borrowed the flat.
Oh, no.
- He also told her we'd met in Paris.
- Oh, wonderful.
The thing is, Pen, Angela just happens to be my wife s best friend.
Oh, great, Vincent.
Absolutely perfect.
You were right when you said it was shatteringly bad news.
No, that s not the shatteringly bad news, Pen.
I haven't come to the shatteringly bad news yet.
- You mean there's more? - Oh, boy, yeah.
I just phoned Gina at her office.
She's not there.
They said she was on her way up to meet you.
She's coming here? Well, when? I don't know.
Any time now.
God! Look, I'm terribly sorry about all Tell me, Georgina, do people ever simply call you Gina? My husband does.
Hello? Oh, you re there, Pen.
Mmm.
So's Gina.
Yeah, well, I just thought I d let you know.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
Vincent.
Oh, hello, dear.
You re not going out tonight, are you? Well, actually, I was.
That wasn't a question, Vince.
Oh, I see.
No, I'm not going out tonight.
Good.
Well, I'll see you later, darling.
This is not what I had in mind.
Elaine, could we have two coffees, please? - The machine s broken.
- Could you go to the delicatessen, then? They might be closed.
They might not.
I suppose this is why you asked for me personally.
Mm-hm.
I didn't announce myself immediately.
Firstly, I wanted to observe you to see why my husband is so fascinated by you.
And secondly, I thought you might have suffered a bereavement.
No, this is the fashion in Paris.
Ah, yes, Paris.
Such a romantic city.
Yes.
You You don't use your married name.
No, Pinner sounds so common.
Marshall is my maiden and trade name.
I tried combining the two once, Marshall-Pinner, but it had overtones of Dodge City and there are enough cowboys in the rag trade as it is.
- Look - You re not doing anything this evening? That's not a question either, is it? - No.
- No, I'm not doing anything.
Good.
I thought it was time the three of us met and talked this over.
You've been to the flat? Vince has taken you there, I suppose? No, he hasn't.
Really? Oh, he can be so rude sometimes.
But that s half his charm, isn't it? Is it? 8:30.
By the way, I do like your ideas.
Thank you.
Oh.
Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask, do you take sugar? Darling, would you put this on for me? Don't you think I'd look a bit silly? The first thing I noticed about you was your sense of humour.
Then I thought, 'Well, no one s perfect.
' Do you realise, this will be the first evening we've spent together for - Oh, it must be months.
- It must be.
It's a shame that girl s coming, isn't it? - Penny.
- Mmm.
Still, perhaps she won't stay for too long.
We can have the rest of the night to ourselves.
Would you like that? Drink? My usual.
- What s that? - Vodka and tonic.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's most probably that girl.
Shall I? Yes, darling.
You let her in.
I'll see to the drink.
Darling! Last time she called me darling the English teams were still in Europe.
Bastard.
- How are you? - How am I? I feel sick, Vincent.
Well, be careful, Pen.
This stuff costs £45 a yard.
Why have you dragged me into your nightmare? Everything s going to be all right.
Come in.
I warn you now, she's in a funny mood.
- Don't make any jokes in there? - Jokes! Er, Gina, this is Penny.
Penny - Oh, you've met, haven't you? - Yes.
- Yes.
Darling, why don't you take? - Penny.
Why don't you take her coat so feels the benefit when she leaves? - Your coat, Pen.
- Oh, yes, thank you.
- Have you come straight from work? - Yes.
Oh, I'm glad we didn't put you to all the bother of changing.
No, I got rather tied up at a meeting for a new chocolate bar we re advertising.
Oh, yes, I noticed it while you were on the phone to my husband.
'Say I love you with a Caress.
' What are you trying to do? Put the romance back into acne? Yes.
Well, sit down, Penny.
Make yourself at home.
Oh, thank you.
Right.
Yes.
Er, do you want a sandwich or something? Well, sit yourself down, darling.
Er, yes.
Shall I put some music on? O Grady says do this.
Why don't you get Penny a drink, darling? - Oh, right.
Usual, Pen? - Yes, please.
Do you ever get lonely, living in a foreign city? Oh, occasionally.
Must be lovely when friends pop over to see you.
Yes, it's Yes.
Wasn't it fortunate, you and my husband meeting again like that? When he told me about his business trip to Paris, I thought to myself, 'I wonder if he'll bump into that girl again, ' and sure enough he did.
I imagine you had a lovely time.
Hm, darling? Absolutely.
Yes, it was It was fun.
I showed Vince some sights.
Did you? Did you like that as well, darling? Yeah, that was the best part of it.
Darling.
Um, look, I think I should explain.
You see, Vince and I have been friends for many years now.
Oh, yes, he's told me about you.
Weren't you his fiancée once? Yes.
It was a long time ago.
Well, it was lovely meeting again after all this time, accidentally.
We had lots of laughs, talking about the old days, that kind of thing.
Vince was telling me all that had been happening to him.
Did he tell you he was married? No, he didn't say a thing about it, did you? No.
- It completely slipped my mind.
- So you didn't realise it was adultery? No, I didn't have a a clue.
Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it to sound like that.
Please don't get the wrong idea.
We didn't sleep together, did we? I think you dropped off at one point but I couldn't get used to the traffic noise.
Wonderful.
Pen, come on.
There s no point in pretending.
Of course there isn't.
I knew what his game was the moment he mentioned a business trip.
If it hadn't been you, it would have been one of his others.
Come on, Gina.
That's not fair.
As God is my witness, I swear to you, and you, there's been no one else.
Oh, how sweet.
You've been faithful to both of us.
So here we are, slap bang in the middle of an eternal triangle.
Right now I wish it was the Bermuda Triangle.
Two women in the life of one man.
What are we going to do? I don't know how you two feel about this, but as far as Shut it.
Fine, fine.
Just trying to help, that's all.
I'll just, um I'll just You still love him, don't you? I most certainly do not.
You passed the test with flying colours.
Test? What test? When I said to you in your office that we should meet tonight and talk this thing over, that was the test.
If it had been a casual affair, a weekend romance, you would have told me exactly what to do with my invitation.
Nothing on earth would have dragged you to this inquisition.
But I knew that if you still loved him, you would turn up and suffer.
And sure enough, you arrived, right on the dot.
That proved nothing.
I was brought up not to break engagements.
It's a pity Vincent wasn't, isn't it? Oh, I'm sorry.
That was cruel of me, throwing the past in your face.
Let me ask you something, Mrs Pinner, do you love your husband? I married Vince for one reason and one reason only.
His family are very wealthy.
Oh, peasants, yes, but rich peasants.
Where do you think my shops came from? Pinner Investments.
I realised the moment I signed that marriage certificate that I was entitled to half of that company.
That company is still expanding.
So, the longer I stay with the family, the richer I become.
The strange thing is the Pinners, Reet'n'Les, they think the world of me.
I can't abide them.
Whenever they re in town, I go back to my parents place.
Really? How is Transylvania these days? What s to stop me telling Vince all that you've told me? Tell him.
It wouldn't make any difference.
I can control him, you see.
He's like putty when I get to work on him.
A certain smile, a little look, and the right kind of promise and he's a pussy cat.
No, you think you re controlling him but you re not.
He does exactly what he wants to do.
That s the difference between us, darling.
You couldn't do it.
But I can.
That's why I have the ring and half the company and you you have the journey home.
It's been nice.
Yes, you're right.
We are very different and yet we've both been successful, one way or another.
Everything I have achieved has been through hard work, long hours and lots and lots of effort.
I've done it all off my own back.
Whereas you, darling, have done it all on your back.
Ciao.
Hang on, Pen, I've just got the crisps and the nuts.
Oh, let her go, darling.
She said she wanted to think things over.
She wanted to be alone.
She said she wasn't sure of anything any more.
Oh, but I am, Vince.
I honestly believe that this could make us stronger.
Why don't we talk about it in bed? Hm? Oh, talk to her if you must.
Then come back.
Pen, wait a minute, will you? Why? Why what? Why, of all the advertising agencies in London, did she have to choose mine? - Well, I recommended it.
- You did? I didn't know all this was going to happen.
Oh, Vince.
Why do you want me? Because I love you.
Well, then, why did you marry her? I don't know, really.
I wanted to appear on Mr & Mrs! - Why? - She told me she was pregnant.
Do you mean you have a child? No, she wasn't really pregnant.
Two days after the wedding, she calmly announced the false alarm.
I went straight to the vicar's to see if there were any loopholes, but I was lumbered.
She only did it for the money.
That s all she's interested in.
- Then why don't you leave her? - I am.
I'm leaving now.
I'm going to my parents house.
They re in Portugal so the place is empty.
- I don't suppose you? - No.
She's evil, Vincent.
She thinks she's got some kind of hold on you.
No chance, Pen.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to bring you into all this.
I just couldn't help it.
Do you love me? I'll call you tomorrow at the yard.
Oh, Vince, promise me you won't go back in there.
I promise.
- What s wrong? - Nothing.
I've got a little present for you.
Pen?