Just Good Friends (1983) s03e04 Episode Script
Juanita
1 What would you say If I told you things had never changed and We II find a way To take our dreams and rearrange them Who d believe That we could be in love again? So let s just pretend That you and me can be Just good friends Oh, all right, darling? - Yes, fine.
- Oh, good, good.
- What time s your flight? - 4:30.
I envy you.
Don't believe everything you read about Paris.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Oh, no, no.
I meant, having a job.
I see.
- Is Mummy still getting at you? - Oh, well, she's been worse since she bumped into that Rita Pinner person a couple of weeks past.
She told Mummy about their new cars, their villa in Portugal, how successful the business had become since Vincent took over.
I knew Mummy was upset the moment she walked through the door.
The Mogadons were going down like Smarties.
Daddy, you know I have some savings Coffee, darling? No, thank you.
If you want coffee, Norman, you II have to get the milk off the step.
- You re not busy, are you? - No, dear, not busy.
Daddy, something will turn up soon.
Yes, most probably the bailiff.
Your mouth is like the temple of Tutankhamun.
Every time it's open, something awful happens.
I beg your pardon? Don't you think Daddy s been hurt enough without you adding to it? I say these things to keep him on his toes.
It's a man's job to find work.
Why? What about you? Are you incapacitated in some way? That local paper is filled with little part-time jobs, jobs that anyone can do.
So why don't you try and help? Oh, open your eyes, Mummy.
Just open your eyes.
I have to go and see someone.
I'll see you before I leave, Daddy.
Yes, all right, darling.
- What's wrong with Penny? - It's you.
She's worried sick about you.
Oh, no, I didn't want it to affect her.
She has her career to think of.
What can I do? Not a lot, Norman.
You've never really had the killer instinct for success, have you? 19 years you worked for that one company but you couldn't get a seat on the board or a junior partnership.
Oh, no.
You've never really wanted the important things in life, have you? The weekend cottage, the daily woman, the new shaped Volvo.
All you've ever wanted is happiness.
Doesn't a starving man dream of food? Dream.
All you've ever done is dream.
It's the hippy in you that put us in this predicament.
Maybe, Daphne.
Maybe.
I have worked hard all my life.
I've kept a good home and a full cupboard.
I even took an evening job to pay for Penny s school fees.
Now, I may not have been successful but I've never been lazy.
I've never been lazy.
- Norman? - Yes, dear? I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it, darling.
It's getting to both of us, isn't it? I shouldn't say those things.
I know they re not true.
And I know you don't mean them, darling.
We're both getting a bit desperate and desperate people say and do desperate things.
Yes.
I do love you, Norman.
I know you do.
And I love you, Daphne.
Thank you.
Well, we can't stand here all day.
Things to do.
Darling, would you like me to strain something? Let's have lunch first, Norman.
(Portuguese soundtrack) Why is Postman Pat talking in Portuguese? Cos it's Portuguese television.
I can't understand a word they re saying.
The Portuguese can.
Well, how am I supposed to know he's got a black and white cat? You can see it's a black and white bloody cat.
Well, I don't think they should mess around with it.
Cliffy, babe.
Postman Pat.
For God s sake, Reet, he's 19.
And what's he doing home from work so early? Poor little thing s hungry, I suppose.
Oh, come on, Les.
It's lunchtime.
Are we going to get something to eat? I'm a bit busy with these accounts, love.
Get the maid to fry you something up.
That boy s a genius when it comes to a bit of business.
Who? Cliffy? Cliffy? That little berk? I'm talking about my Vincent.
Take a look at these accounts he sent over.
He's almost trebled the firm s profits since I put him in charge.
Love him.
And just wait until we start exporting the old Vinho Verde, eh? What a boy! What a boy! (Shattering glass) Are you all right, presh? Why aren't you down the vineyard working? Siesta, isn't it? You know that new tractor you bought? Yeah.
The salesman said it would never break down.
- Yeah.
- He was a liar.
You've broken my brand new tractor? - It weren't his fault, Les.
- Yeah, it weren't my fault.
When I saw him this morning, he was racing that tractor round like a go-cart.
So, are you complaining cos he was working fast? Working? He was chasing chickens with it.
I was up in the top field spraying the vines with insecticide when it just packed up.
- It weren't my fault.
- No one's blaming you, babe.
- I'm blaming him.
- You leave him alone, you bully boy.
Go on, darling.
You go and get yourself something to eat.
There's some squid in the fridge.
You can have a toasted sandwich.
Juanita will do it for you.
I don't like talking to that maid.
She can't speak proper English.
Oh, that's not fair.
I admit when she first came, she couldn't speak the language but I've learned her since then.
She's picked up a lot of words from me, ain't she, Les? Yeah.
A brand new bleeding tractor that was.
Señora.
I've finished the bathroom and bog.
Well, you do yourself a coffee, darling.
No need to knock your old pipe out, is there? Oh, Juanita, while you re there, do Cliffy something to eat.
He s hungry again.
Oh, si, señora.
Greedy sod, Cliffy boy.
Get off! Take a look at some of these deals Vince has been doing.
January: He bought the west leg of a disused oil platform.
He sold it four weeks later for an 80 grand profit.
Two weeks ago he bought six German tanks.
He s sold them already.
What a boy! Well, takes after my side of the fam Oh.
What's the matter, love? Tanks? What's he doing buying and selling bloody tanks? Maybe they was goldfish tanks.
How many goldfish tanks have diesel engines with 100mm guns? How many fish tanks are built by Krups Factory to specifications from the German Ministry of Defence? Don't you see what this could mean, Reet? This could be classified as an international arms deal.
We could end up under surveillance from Ml5.
We could end up on Panorama.
Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Les.
We won't be able to understand a bloody word they say anyway.
Good afternoon.
Can I help you? Would it be possible to see Mr Pinner, please? Yes.
May I say who s calling? My name's Warrender.
Penny Warrender.
I see.
May I ask what it's in connection with? Oh, we're old friends.
Well, I'm afraid he's not really up to seeing anyone at the moment.
He's got a lot of personal problems.
His marriage is breaking up.
Well, it's his own fault, really.
Some tart.
I'll see if he's available, but like I say, he's terribly upset about the whole thing.
(Racing commentary) Come on, make him work for his oats.
Push him.
Go on.
Your mistress is here.
Oh, it's you, Pen.
- Gin and tonic? - No, just a tonic, please.
She knows, doesn't she? Yeah.
Well, Gina's told everyone about it.
Or at least, her side of it.
She's playing the loving wife whose world has been shattered by her unfaithful husband and his man-hungry floozy.
That's you.
Behind the scenes, she's doing what comes naturally.
Going for the financial jugular.
- Have you heard from her solicitors? - Yesterday.
I'm not allowed back in my own house, not even to pick up clothes.
I've got to apply for a court order every time I need a change of socks.
One squirt or two? Surprise me.
Vince, I have to go back to the Paris office this afternoon.
I thought you were here for another month or so.
Yes, I was, but something s happened to change all that.
(Beverley) Aargh! So exactly what has happened? Well, I'm not positive about this, but I think that Gina, your What's the word? - Wife? - Yes.
Well, she's one of my company's clients.
We advertise her designs and boutiques.
So? So, how would my managing director feel if one of his clients accuses one of his employees of breaking up her marriage? It's obvious.
She's told them and they re pushing me out, getting me as far away as possible to save them from embarrassment, and from losing an account.
She's not that important to em, Pen.
You re just becoming a little paranoid.
I'm not becoming paranoid! All right.
Calm down.
How long will you be gone? Five, six months.
Six months? We won't see each other for six months? That shouldn't bother you unduly.
After all, we didn't see each other for two years.
Yeah, but I missed you.
Oh, yes? Almost one year to the day, 5 April 1985, you were supposed to meet me in Paris.
You missed me so much you didn't even bother turning up.
Well, I've explained that to you.
No, you haven't.
You said something cropped up.
Well, there you go.
I've explained it to you.
- Six months? - Afraid so.
I'll fly over and see you at weekends.
No, you mustn't do that.
Look, I don't want her naming me in the divorce petition.
We mustn't be seen together, not yet.
- Say I wore a disguise? - Oh, dear God! (Phone rings) Good afternoon.
Pinner Metals.
Beverley.
Les Pinner.
Oh, hello, Les.
How are you? Hot.
It's 95 over here.
The things I do for tax evasion! Well, how s it all going, love? Well, it's not for me to say, Les.
If your son wants to break up his marriage, - that's his business.
- Break up his? - What's happened between him and Gina? - You II have to ask her, Les.
Or the people handling the divorce.
She's divorcing him? What choice did he leave her? She found out about the other woman.
I don't believe it.
What other woman? I like to keep myself to myself, Les.
All right, Beverley.
I don't care how busy he is.
Put me through to him.
Hold the line, please.
Are you decent? Yeah, and you're sacked.
What do you want? Your father's calling from Portugal.
And you can hear him all this way? I'll put him through to your personal line, and Vince, it's not for me to say, but I think he knows.
Just don't mention my name.
Please.
- Take it easy.
It might not be about us.
- Of course it's about us.
Everyone in my office knows.
Everyone in this yard knows.
And now the news has reached the Algarve.
They'll be talking about us in Papua New Guinea next week.
Look, it's most probably a business call and nothing to do with us.
(Buzzer) - Hello, Dad.
- What are you playing at, you dirty ram? Yeah, it is about us.
- What do you mean, Dad? - You know very well what I mean.
Is it true you re knocking about with some other bird? Yes.
Don't lie to me, Vincent.
I know bloody well - Is it also true that Gina's divorcing you? - Yes.
Why? Cos I'm knocking about with some other bird.
We shouldn't be discussing it on the phone.
I'll explain everything when I see you.
That's going to be sooner than you think, son.
Me, your mum and Clifford are coming back to London tomorrow.
- Don't do that.
- I am going to sort this mess out.
So as soon as I put this phone down, I am booking three tickets on the first flight home tomorrow morning.
- Dad, will you please listen? - Don't make any lunch appointments.
And I'll see you about 12.
They're all coming home tomorrow.
My dad, Reet and little Cliffy.
What am I going to do? Why don't you do what you normally do when faced with a problem? Assess the situation, formulate a strategy, then run away.
I'm glad to see you're not taking this too seriously.
Hold on.
- That's not a bad idea.
- I was only joking.
As from tomorrow morning, there will be an empty villa on the Algarve, an empty villa to which I have the keys.
So you are running away.
No, Penelope, we are.
You must be out of your moronic little mind.
You don't honestly expect me to fly down there from Paris? Pen, this could be our last chance to be together for six months.
There are so many things we need to talk about, so many things I have to tell you.
Like what? Eh? What are these things that you so desperately need to tell me? Well, there are so many, I'll tell you at the villa.
No, tell me now.
All right.
If that's what you want.
Pen, I have been searching for the opportunity to explain properly why I stood you up a year ago, April 85.
I couldn't take the risk of messing up your career and spoiling your life, so I so I cancelled.
Right, so that explains April 85.
What made you decide to mess up my career and spoil my life this year? Pen, two weeks ago I came to Paris for one reason and one reason only.
To be with you.
Not just for the weekend but for as long as you wanted me to.
I knew all this would happen, solicitors and divorce hearings.
I knew I'd end up losing a lot but it didn't matter.
I'd give up everything I had if it meant being with you.
Do you really mean that? I love you, Pen.
Nothing else in the world matters to me.
I'll be getting there about 11:30.
You arrive when you like.
Fine.
Norman? I want to talk to you about something but you must promise me not to lose your temper.
You know how aggressive you can be sometimes.
Of course I won't lose my temper, darling.
What is it? I saw a little job advertised in the local paper so this afternoon I rang up and made a few enquiries.
It's only part-time and the money isn't wonderful but Well, every little helps, doesn't it, darling? Well, yes, I suppose so.
What kind of job? Cleaning.
Cleaning? It's one of those firms that sends people round in a little van to well, clean.
It's hoovering and dusting mostly.
Well, a bit of scrubbing, I suppose, but they supply an overall and rubber gloves.
It's so demeaning, Daphne.
What if the neighbours found out? Well, they don't necessarily have to.
And what if they do? To hell with them.
This is 1986, Norman.
Times have changed.
What did you tell these people? Well, I said I'd ring them back when I'd discussed it with you.
And is it what you want, Daphne? Yes.
Then if it's what you want, it's what I want.
And you re not angry with me? Angry? I don't think I've ever been more proud of you.
I'll phone them back in the morning.
When shall I tell them you can start? (Sighs) - Lovely weather, eh? - Beautiful, isn't it? What are you doing here? I own the place, remember? I thought you were flying back to London this morning.
We were, but yesterday evening we had a little flap.
Your brother Clifford was doing the vines in the top field with insecticide.
Somehow or another, he got hold of the wrong can and sprayed them with creosote.
So we had to drop everything and try and repair the damage.
Otherwise I'd have ended up with 17 acres of raisins.
So that's what I'm doing here.
Now we come to the interesting one.
What the bloody hell are you doing here? I thought, seeing as it will be my company that's importing your rotten wine, this might be a good opportunity to fly over and inspect the set-up at this end.
A sort of fact-finding mission.
- No? - No.
Oh, well.
The nearest you ever get to a fact-finding mission is when you check the dog results.
So what are you doing? Laying low for a spell? Waiting for the smoke to clear? Do you want a beer? It's too early for me, son.
Look, Vince, I know it's none of my business, but I'm worried and so s your mum.
Can't you and Gina make it up? I mean Try again, eh? No.
And before you say any more, you don't know her like I do.
I married her.
I live with her.
I slept with her, on occasions.
Of course we know her.
She's part of the family.
Part of the family? She don't even like the family.
She says Rita's got a voice like a screech owl and you look as if the last wash you had was when the midwife pulled you out.
Nah, she didn't say that.
We had something she didn't have: Money.
That's the only reason she married me.
Well, maybe not the only reason.
Well, she never struck me as a greedy girl.
No? Do you know what she's demanding as a divorce settlement? 50% of the company.
50%? Have you changed your mind about that drink? Here.
I bet you wish you hadn't signed the entire company over to me now.
I've told you before, you shouldn't peep your hooter when you re passing a donkey.
You know what they do when they re frightened.
- It didn't do him any harm.
- Maybe not the donkey.
What about the poor old sod at the back that was shooing him? Señora, Señor Vincie babe is ere.
My Vincie s ere? Oh.
- (Shrieks) Vincie! - Oh, look What are you doing here, presh? Oh! Putting me into an early grave.
That's what he's doing.
Hello, Reet.
How are you? I missed you.
Oh, did you hear that, Les? Oh, I could love em both to death, couldn't you? Daddy told me the news last night.
It shook me, babe.
It shook me, didn't it, Les? Yeah.
What with your marriage breaking up and his grapes withering, I don't know.
Had to get drunk, didn't we, Les? Yeah.
And how are you bearing up under it all, darling? Ah, not too bad, Reet.
Good.
You dirty little sod.
You'll end up with something if you ain't careful.
Leave it out.
You don't know half the story.
I know all I need to know.
I promise you I will not interfere.
It's not in my nature, is it, Les? No.
- Yeah, well, let s talk about it later.
- You stay where you are.
You are about to give up the loveliest, sweetest, more unselfish, caring girl in the world.
Whatever happens between you two, that girl will always be welcome in my home.
She is demanding 50% of everything we own.
(Shrieks) What? The conniving little whore.
I'll tear her heart out.
Take it easy, Reet.
Let s see what our solicitors can do first.
Take it easy? The snooty mare.
There was always something about that girl I didn't like.
Señor Pinner, there's a bird for ya.
- A bird? - (Penny) Obrigado.
God, that taxi was Well, well, well, well, well.
Look who's here, Vincent.
It's, um It's um Penny! Yes.
What are you doing here, darling? Oh, just passing.
But this place is 14km off the national highway.
You got to go through three toll roads and a big puddle to get here.
Yes.
And how do you know where we live? This is our new villa.
You've never been here before.
No! Come on in, love.
Give us your case.
No, I'll only be staying for 20 minutes.
Juanita, make up the bed in the spare room.
Si, Señor, Bit on side? Make the bed, please.
Well, there s nothing for it, Les.
We're going to have to get pissed again.
You lead me Halfway To paradise So near Yet so far away - I hate your brother.
- Why, what's he said now? No, I mean, if he hadn't sprayed creosote over your father s grapes, they'd all be in London by now.
- And we could have been all alone.
- No.
I meant I wouldn't have had to suffer that humiliating experience this afternoon.
I've never been so embarrassed in all my life.
You should get out more often, Pen.
Señora, I bugger off home now, see? Away you go, darling, and take care.
Have you fixed that light on her bike yet? - I'll do it tomorrow.
- You broke it, you fix it.
There's something I want to talk to you about, son.
- Oh, yeah, what's that? - Tanks.
- Pleasure.
- No.
Tanks.
You bought six of em.
German tanks.
- Oh, them tanks.
- 'Oh, them tanks'! What are you playing at, buying bloody tanks? No, you got it all wrong.
What I bought was 120 tons of top quality scrap.
It just happened to be in the shape of six tanks.
You see, I got this contact on the continent, a Mr Abdullah.
- An Arab? - No, Irish.
Of course he's an Arab.
This man has his fingers and his toes in many pies.
So a couple of weekends back, I flew over to Paris and had a meeting with him, He took me out to this bit of land he owns and showed me the tanks.
I snatched them out of his hand on the spot.
I sold them one week later to a Dutch firm for a very healthy profit.
And the Dutch firm even collected them and delivered them to France.
You had me worried there for a moment, Vincie.
I should have known better.
Well done, lad.
Rita, where s that champagne? We were saving that for a special occasion.
Ha, ha.
This is a special occasion.
So, you came to Paris to buy scrap bloody metal? What? Don't try and deny it, Vince.
I heard every word.
You didn't come to Paris to see me.
You came for a business meeting.
I just happened to be convenient.
- Wrong way round, Pen.
- I came to see you.
The meeting just happened to be convenient.
- I was just saving on the air fares.
- And hotel bills.
I was just your bit of fluff with a place round the corner, somewhere for you to unwind from your executive stress.
So What really happened in April 85, Vince, hm? I suppose France didn't have any old iron and I wasn't worth the trip.
I told you what happened in April 85.
Everything I've told you is the truth.
Don't talk to me.
And don't touch me.
Just leave me alone.
Everything all right? - Where do you think you're going? - To the airport.
We're miles from the airport.
There s nothing out there except blackness and lizards.
I'd rather take my chances with those lizards than the one in here.
Look, just stop and think for a minute.
What's so awful about me going to a business meeting? - You went to work, didn't you? - Yes.
What's so terrible about me going to work? It was the way you went about it.
You didn't mention it to me.
This may come as a bit of a surprise to you but scrap metal is not the most riveting topic of conversation.
I thought you'd appreciate me not mentioning it.
Besides, we had lots of better things to talk about.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
Do you think I really am paranoid? Yes.
But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Come on.
Here you are, darling.
- There you go, babe.
- Cheers, Rita.
This has all come as a bit of a shock to us, darling, but I want you to know that you've always been my favourite.
Thank you, Rita.
That's very nice.
April 85.
He was on his honeymoon.
- Oh, good, good.
- What time s your flight? - 4:30.
I envy you.
Don't believe everything you read about Paris.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Oh, no, no.
I meant, having a job.
I see.
- Is Mummy still getting at you? - Oh, well, she's been worse since she bumped into that Rita Pinner person a couple of weeks past.
She told Mummy about their new cars, their villa in Portugal, how successful the business had become since Vincent took over.
I knew Mummy was upset the moment she walked through the door.
The Mogadons were going down like Smarties.
Daddy, you know I have some savings Coffee, darling? No, thank you.
If you want coffee, Norman, you II have to get the milk off the step.
- You re not busy, are you? - No, dear, not busy.
Daddy, something will turn up soon.
Yes, most probably the bailiff.
Your mouth is like the temple of Tutankhamun.
Every time it's open, something awful happens.
I beg your pardon? Don't you think Daddy s been hurt enough without you adding to it? I say these things to keep him on his toes.
It's a man's job to find work.
Why? What about you? Are you incapacitated in some way? That local paper is filled with little part-time jobs, jobs that anyone can do.
So why don't you try and help? Oh, open your eyes, Mummy.
Just open your eyes.
I have to go and see someone.
I'll see you before I leave, Daddy.
Yes, all right, darling.
- What's wrong with Penny? - It's you.
She's worried sick about you.
Oh, no, I didn't want it to affect her.
She has her career to think of.
What can I do? Not a lot, Norman.
You've never really had the killer instinct for success, have you? 19 years you worked for that one company but you couldn't get a seat on the board or a junior partnership.
Oh, no.
You've never really wanted the important things in life, have you? The weekend cottage, the daily woman, the new shaped Volvo.
All you've ever wanted is happiness.
Doesn't a starving man dream of food? Dream.
All you've ever done is dream.
It's the hippy in you that put us in this predicament.
Maybe, Daphne.
Maybe.
I have worked hard all my life.
I've kept a good home and a full cupboard.
I even took an evening job to pay for Penny s school fees.
Now, I may not have been successful but I've never been lazy.
I've never been lazy.
- Norman? - Yes, dear? I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it, darling.
It's getting to both of us, isn't it? I shouldn't say those things.
I know they re not true.
And I know you don't mean them, darling.
We're both getting a bit desperate and desperate people say and do desperate things.
Yes.
I do love you, Norman.
I know you do.
And I love you, Daphne.
Thank you.
Well, we can't stand here all day.
Things to do.
Darling, would you like me to strain something? Let's have lunch first, Norman.
(Portuguese soundtrack) Why is Postman Pat talking in Portuguese? Cos it's Portuguese television.
I can't understand a word they re saying.
The Portuguese can.
Well, how am I supposed to know he's got a black and white cat? You can see it's a black and white bloody cat.
Well, I don't think they should mess around with it.
Cliffy, babe.
Postman Pat.
For God s sake, Reet, he's 19.
And what's he doing home from work so early? Poor little thing s hungry, I suppose.
Oh, come on, Les.
It's lunchtime.
Are we going to get something to eat? I'm a bit busy with these accounts, love.
Get the maid to fry you something up.
That boy s a genius when it comes to a bit of business.
Who? Cliffy? Cliffy? That little berk? I'm talking about my Vincent.
Take a look at these accounts he sent over.
He's almost trebled the firm s profits since I put him in charge.
Love him.
And just wait until we start exporting the old Vinho Verde, eh? What a boy! What a boy! (Shattering glass) Are you all right, presh? Why aren't you down the vineyard working? Siesta, isn't it? You know that new tractor you bought? Yeah.
The salesman said it would never break down.
- Yeah.
- He was a liar.
You've broken my brand new tractor? - It weren't his fault, Les.
- Yeah, it weren't my fault.
When I saw him this morning, he was racing that tractor round like a go-cart.
So, are you complaining cos he was working fast? Working? He was chasing chickens with it.
I was up in the top field spraying the vines with insecticide when it just packed up.
- It weren't my fault.
- No one's blaming you, babe.
- I'm blaming him.
- You leave him alone, you bully boy.
Go on, darling.
You go and get yourself something to eat.
There's some squid in the fridge.
You can have a toasted sandwich.
Juanita will do it for you.
I don't like talking to that maid.
She can't speak proper English.
Oh, that's not fair.
I admit when she first came, she couldn't speak the language but I've learned her since then.
She's picked up a lot of words from me, ain't she, Les? Yeah.
A brand new bleeding tractor that was.
Señora.
I've finished the bathroom and bog.
Well, you do yourself a coffee, darling.
No need to knock your old pipe out, is there? Oh, Juanita, while you re there, do Cliffy something to eat.
He s hungry again.
Oh, si, señora.
Greedy sod, Cliffy boy.
Get off! Take a look at some of these deals Vince has been doing.
January: He bought the west leg of a disused oil platform.
He sold it four weeks later for an 80 grand profit.
Two weeks ago he bought six German tanks.
He s sold them already.
What a boy! Well, takes after my side of the fam Oh.
What's the matter, love? Tanks? What's he doing buying and selling bloody tanks? Maybe they was goldfish tanks.
How many goldfish tanks have diesel engines with 100mm guns? How many fish tanks are built by Krups Factory to specifications from the German Ministry of Defence? Don't you see what this could mean, Reet? This could be classified as an international arms deal.
We could end up under surveillance from Ml5.
We could end up on Panorama.
Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Les.
We won't be able to understand a bloody word they say anyway.
Good afternoon.
Can I help you? Would it be possible to see Mr Pinner, please? Yes.
May I say who s calling? My name's Warrender.
Penny Warrender.
I see.
May I ask what it's in connection with? Oh, we're old friends.
Well, I'm afraid he's not really up to seeing anyone at the moment.
He's got a lot of personal problems.
His marriage is breaking up.
Well, it's his own fault, really.
Some tart.
I'll see if he's available, but like I say, he's terribly upset about the whole thing.
(Racing commentary) Come on, make him work for his oats.
Push him.
Go on.
Your mistress is here.
Oh, it's you, Pen.
- Gin and tonic? - No, just a tonic, please.
She knows, doesn't she? Yeah.
Well, Gina's told everyone about it.
Or at least, her side of it.
She's playing the loving wife whose world has been shattered by her unfaithful husband and his man-hungry floozy.
That's you.
Behind the scenes, she's doing what comes naturally.
Going for the financial jugular.
- Have you heard from her solicitors? - Yesterday.
I'm not allowed back in my own house, not even to pick up clothes.
I've got to apply for a court order every time I need a change of socks.
One squirt or two? Surprise me.
Vince, I have to go back to the Paris office this afternoon.
I thought you were here for another month or so.
Yes, I was, but something s happened to change all that.
(Beverley) Aargh! So exactly what has happened? Well, I'm not positive about this, but I think that Gina, your What's the word? - Wife? - Yes.
Well, she's one of my company's clients.
We advertise her designs and boutiques.
So? So, how would my managing director feel if one of his clients accuses one of his employees of breaking up her marriage? It's obvious.
She's told them and they re pushing me out, getting me as far away as possible to save them from embarrassment, and from losing an account.
She's not that important to em, Pen.
You re just becoming a little paranoid.
I'm not becoming paranoid! All right.
Calm down.
How long will you be gone? Five, six months.
Six months? We won't see each other for six months? That shouldn't bother you unduly.
After all, we didn't see each other for two years.
Yeah, but I missed you.
Oh, yes? Almost one year to the day, 5 April 1985, you were supposed to meet me in Paris.
You missed me so much you didn't even bother turning up.
Well, I've explained that to you.
No, you haven't.
You said something cropped up.
Well, there you go.
I've explained it to you.
- Six months? - Afraid so.
I'll fly over and see you at weekends.
No, you mustn't do that.
Look, I don't want her naming me in the divorce petition.
We mustn't be seen together, not yet.
- Say I wore a disguise? - Oh, dear God! (Phone rings) Good afternoon.
Pinner Metals.
Beverley.
Les Pinner.
Oh, hello, Les.
How are you? Hot.
It's 95 over here.
The things I do for tax evasion! Well, how s it all going, love? Well, it's not for me to say, Les.
If your son wants to break up his marriage, - that's his business.
- Break up his? - What's happened between him and Gina? - You II have to ask her, Les.
Or the people handling the divorce.
She's divorcing him? What choice did he leave her? She found out about the other woman.
I don't believe it.
What other woman? I like to keep myself to myself, Les.
All right, Beverley.
I don't care how busy he is.
Put me through to him.
Hold the line, please.
Are you decent? Yeah, and you're sacked.
What do you want? Your father's calling from Portugal.
And you can hear him all this way? I'll put him through to your personal line, and Vince, it's not for me to say, but I think he knows.
Just don't mention my name.
Please.
- Take it easy.
It might not be about us.
- Of course it's about us.
Everyone in my office knows.
Everyone in this yard knows.
And now the news has reached the Algarve.
They'll be talking about us in Papua New Guinea next week.
Look, it's most probably a business call and nothing to do with us.
(Buzzer) - Hello, Dad.
- What are you playing at, you dirty ram? Yeah, it is about us.
- What do you mean, Dad? - You know very well what I mean.
Is it true you re knocking about with some other bird? Yes.
Don't lie to me, Vincent.
I know bloody well - Is it also true that Gina's divorcing you? - Yes.
Why? Cos I'm knocking about with some other bird.
We shouldn't be discussing it on the phone.
I'll explain everything when I see you.
That's going to be sooner than you think, son.
Me, your mum and Clifford are coming back to London tomorrow.
- Don't do that.
- I am going to sort this mess out.
So as soon as I put this phone down, I am booking three tickets on the first flight home tomorrow morning.
- Dad, will you please listen? - Don't make any lunch appointments.
And I'll see you about 12.
They're all coming home tomorrow.
My dad, Reet and little Cliffy.
What am I going to do? Why don't you do what you normally do when faced with a problem? Assess the situation, formulate a strategy, then run away.
I'm glad to see you're not taking this too seriously.
Hold on.
- That's not a bad idea.
- I was only joking.
As from tomorrow morning, there will be an empty villa on the Algarve, an empty villa to which I have the keys.
So you are running away.
No, Penelope, we are.
You must be out of your moronic little mind.
You don't honestly expect me to fly down there from Paris? Pen, this could be our last chance to be together for six months.
There are so many things we need to talk about, so many things I have to tell you.
Like what? Eh? What are these things that you so desperately need to tell me? Well, there are so many, I'll tell you at the villa.
No, tell me now.
All right.
If that's what you want.
Pen, I have been searching for the opportunity to explain properly why I stood you up a year ago, April 85.
I couldn't take the risk of messing up your career and spoiling your life, so I so I cancelled.
Right, so that explains April 85.
What made you decide to mess up my career and spoil my life this year? Pen, two weeks ago I came to Paris for one reason and one reason only.
To be with you.
Not just for the weekend but for as long as you wanted me to.
I knew all this would happen, solicitors and divorce hearings.
I knew I'd end up losing a lot but it didn't matter.
I'd give up everything I had if it meant being with you.
Do you really mean that? I love you, Pen.
Nothing else in the world matters to me.
I'll be getting there about 11:30.
You arrive when you like.
Fine.
Norman? I want to talk to you about something but you must promise me not to lose your temper.
You know how aggressive you can be sometimes.
Of course I won't lose my temper, darling.
What is it? I saw a little job advertised in the local paper so this afternoon I rang up and made a few enquiries.
It's only part-time and the money isn't wonderful but Well, every little helps, doesn't it, darling? Well, yes, I suppose so.
What kind of job? Cleaning.
Cleaning? It's one of those firms that sends people round in a little van to well, clean.
It's hoovering and dusting mostly.
Well, a bit of scrubbing, I suppose, but they supply an overall and rubber gloves.
It's so demeaning, Daphne.
What if the neighbours found out? Well, they don't necessarily have to.
And what if they do? To hell with them.
This is 1986, Norman.
Times have changed.
What did you tell these people? Well, I said I'd ring them back when I'd discussed it with you.
And is it what you want, Daphne? Yes.
Then if it's what you want, it's what I want.
And you re not angry with me? Angry? I don't think I've ever been more proud of you.
I'll phone them back in the morning.
When shall I tell them you can start? (Sighs) - Lovely weather, eh? - Beautiful, isn't it? What are you doing here? I own the place, remember? I thought you were flying back to London this morning.
We were, but yesterday evening we had a little flap.
Your brother Clifford was doing the vines in the top field with insecticide.
Somehow or another, he got hold of the wrong can and sprayed them with creosote.
So we had to drop everything and try and repair the damage.
Otherwise I'd have ended up with 17 acres of raisins.
So that's what I'm doing here.
Now we come to the interesting one.
What the bloody hell are you doing here? I thought, seeing as it will be my company that's importing your rotten wine, this might be a good opportunity to fly over and inspect the set-up at this end.
A sort of fact-finding mission.
- No? - No.
Oh, well.
The nearest you ever get to a fact-finding mission is when you check the dog results.
So what are you doing? Laying low for a spell? Waiting for the smoke to clear? Do you want a beer? It's too early for me, son.
Look, Vince, I know it's none of my business, but I'm worried and so s your mum.
Can't you and Gina make it up? I mean Try again, eh? No.
And before you say any more, you don't know her like I do.
I married her.
I live with her.
I slept with her, on occasions.
Of course we know her.
She's part of the family.
Part of the family? She don't even like the family.
She says Rita's got a voice like a screech owl and you look as if the last wash you had was when the midwife pulled you out.
Nah, she didn't say that.
We had something she didn't have: Money.
That's the only reason she married me.
Well, maybe not the only reason.
Well, she never struck me as a greedy girl.
No? Do you know what she's demanding as a divorce settlement? 50% of the company.
50%? Have you changed your mind about that drink? Here.
I bet you wish you hadn't signed the entire company over to me now.
I've told you before, you shouldn't peep your hooter when you re passing a donkey.
You know what they do when they re frightened.
- It didn't do him any harm.
- Maybe not the donkey.
What about the poor old sod at the back that was shooing him? Señora, Señor Vincie babe is ere.
My Vincie s ere? Oh.
- (Shrieks) Vincie! - Oh, look What are you doing here, presh? Oh! Putting me into an early grave.
That's what he's doing.
Hello, Reet.
How are you? I missed you.
Oh, did you hear that, Les? Oh, I could love em both to death, couldn't you? Daddy told me the news last night.
It shook me, babe.
It shook me, didn't it, Les? Yeah.
What with your marriage breaking up and his grapes withering, I don't know.
Had to get drunk, didn't we, Les? Yeah.
And how are you bearing up under it all, darling? Ah, not too bad, Reet.
Good.
You dirty little sod.
You'll end up with something if you ain't careful.
Leave it out.
You don't know half the story.
I know all I need to know.
I promise you I will not interfere.
It's not in my nature, is it, Les? No.
- Yeah, well, let s talk about it later.
- You stay where you are.
You are about to give up the loveliest, sweetest, more unselfish, caring girl in the world.
Whatever happens between you two, that girl will always be welcome in my home.
She is demanding 50% of everything we own.
(Shrieks) What? The conniving little whore.
I'll tear her heart out.
Take it easy, Reet.
Let s see what our solicitors can do first.
Take it easy? The snooty mare.
There was always something about that girl I didn't like.
Señor Pinner, there's a bird for ya.
- A bird? - (Penny) Obrigado.
God, that taxi was Well, well, well, well, well.
Look who's here, Vincent.
It's, um It's um Penny! Yes.
What are you doing here, darling? Oh, just passing.
But this place is 14km off the national highway.
You got to go through three toll roads and a big puddle to get here.
Yes.
And how do you know where we live? This is our new villa.
You've never been here before.
No! Come on in, love.
Give us your case.
No, I'll only be staying for 20 minutes.
Juanita, make up the bed in the spare room.
Si, Señor, Bit on side? Make the bed, please.
Well, there s nothing for it, Les.
We're going to have to get pissed again.
You lead me Halfway To paradise So near Yet so far away - I hate your brother.
- Why, what's he said now? No, I mean, if he hadn't sprayed creosote over your father s grapes, they'd all be in London by now.
- And we could have been all alone.
- No.
I meant I wouldn't have had to suffer that humiliating experience this afternoon.
I've never been so embarrassed in all my life.
You should get out more often, Pen.
Señora, I bugger off home now, see? Away you go, darling, and take care.
Have you fixed that light on her bike yet? - I'll do it tomorrow.
- You broke it, you fix it.
There's something I want to talk to you about, son.
- Oh, yeah, what's that? - Tanks.
- Pleasure.
- No.
Tanks.
You bought six of em.
German tanks.
- Oh, them tanks.
- 'Oh, them tanks'! What are you playing at, buying bloody tanks? No, you got it all wrong.
What I bought was 120 tons of top quality scrap.
It just happened to be in the shape of six tanks.
You see, I got this contact on the continent, a Mr Abdullah.
- An Arab? - No, Irish.
Of course he's an Arab.
This man has his fingers and his toes in many pies.
So a couple of weekends back, I flew over to Paris and had a meeting with him, He took me out to this bit of land he owns and showed me the tanks.
I snatched them out of his hand on the spot.
I sold them one week later to a Dutch firm for a very healthy profit.
And the Dutch firm even collected them and delivered them to France.
You had me worried there for a moment, Vincie.
I should have known better.
Well done, lad.
Rita, where s that champagne? We were saving that for a special occasion.
Ha, ha.
This is a special occasion.
So, you came to Paris to buy scrap bloody metal? What? Don't try and deny it, Vince.
I heard every word.
You didn't come to Paris to see me.
You came for a business meeting.
I just happened to be convenient.
- Wrong way round, Pen.
- I came to see you.
The meeting just happened to be convenient.
- I was just saving on the air fares.
- And hotel bills.
I was just your bit of fluff with a place round the corner, somewhere for you to unwind from your executive stress.
So What really happened in April 85, Vince, hm? I suppose France didn't have any old iron and I wasn't worth the trip.
I told you what happened in April 85.
Everything I've told you is the truth.
Don't talk to me.
And don't touch me.
Just leave me alone.
Everything all right? - Where do you think you're going? - To the airport.
We're miles from the airport.
There s nothing out there except blackness and lizards.
I'd rather take my chances with those lizards than the one in here.
Look, just stop and think for a minute.
What's so awful about me going to a business meeting? - You went to work, didn't you? - Yes.
What's so terrible about me going to work? It was the way you went about it.
You didn't mention it to me.
This may come as a bit of a surprise to you but scrap metal is not the most riveting topic of conversation.
I thought you'd appreciate me not mentioning it.
Besides, we had lots of better things to talk about.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
Do you think I really am paranoid? Yes.
But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Come on.
Here you are, darling.
- There you go, babe.
- Cheers, Rita.
This has all come as a bit of a shock to us, darling, but I want you to know that you've always been my favourite.
Thank you, Rita.
That's very nice.
April 85.
He was on his honeymoon.