Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

I Will make you invite me to a movie/Kaguya wants to be stopped/Kaguya wants it

1 CONFESSION CONFESSION You fall in love with someone P-Please be my girlfriend! confess that love and become a couple.
Everyone would say that's a wonderful thing.
But they're wrong! Even among sweethearts, there exists a distinct power relationship! A side that exploits and a side that's exploited, a side that's devoted, a side receiving devotion, a winner and a loser! If you're trying to live a noble life, then you mustn't become a loser.
Love is war! The person who falls in love loses! KAGUYA-SAMA: LOVE IS WAR Shuchiin Academy! It's a prestigious school with an ancient and honorable origin, founded as a facility to educate upper-crust children.
The focus on the nobility is gone, but many talented students born into wealthy, distinguished families How do you do? and shouldering the future attend the school.
How do you do? Naturally ordinary people wouldn't be permitted to lead and bring these students together! Everyone, look! The Student Council members! Kaguya Shinomiya, the vice-president of the Student Council at Shuchiin Academy.
Total assets: 200 trillion yen.
Her family owns the Shinomiya Group, one of the top four financial conglomerates in Japan, with over 1,000 subsidiaries.
SHINOMIYA BANK Befitting her superior lineage, she's a talented young woman who has attained splendid achievements in various fields, such as traditional performing arts, music, and martial arts.
That is Kaguya Shinomiya.
And the young man Shinomiya supports is Miyuki Shirogane, the president of the Student Council at Shuchiin Academy.
He's wise and intelligent, strong and silent.
He scores first place in the practice exams.
In contrast to talented Kaguya, his devotion to studying commands awe and fear, and because of that exemplary behavior, PRESIDENT OF STUDENT COUNCIL he was selected to be the Student Council president, despite being relatively new to the school.
The weight of a solid gold braided cord has been passed down from president to president at Shuchiin Academy for 200 years! Those two always look so good together.
There's even a dignity to them! Do you think they're dating? - Somebody, please ask them! - I wouldn't dare! STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM It would be presumptuous to even get close to them, let alone ask such a question! It seems I WILL MAKE YOU INVITE ME TO A MOVIE there's a rumor going around that we're in a relationship or some such.
That's normal for their age.
You should ignore it.
That's all it is? They think Shinomiya and I are dating? The fools certainly do enjoy talking about nonsensical love affairs.
Although if Shinomiya demanded that I go out with her, I suppose I would mull it over! And I'm certain she has feelings for me.
Probably just a matter of time.
She should just take off the mask of a perfect, pampered young lady Shirogane, I need to talk to you.
and make her blushing appeal to me.
The ignorant children with their common talk.
Who do they think I am? I'm a member of the Shinomiya family, the heart of this country.
How did they reach the conclusion that I would be dating a commoner? Well, I suppose there could be a very slight possibility.
If he got on his knees and offered up his body, soul, and hometown, I suppose I could train him to be a man who measures up to me.
Certainly, there's no man who doesn't pine for me.
It's probably just a matter of time.
While they were engaging in this kind of thing half a year passed! Nothing of note happened during that period.
By the way, today there were snails in the interior of the apple and cherry relief in the courtyard's water fountain.
My younger sister once caught a cold taking a dip in the water fountain, even though it was hot outside.
When you act according to emotions, nothing good results.
During this period of nothingness, their thoughts shifted from, "I wouldn't mind dating him/her" to "Maybe I'll make him/her confess his/her love to me.
" Meanwhile, one other person had no idea that two super high school-level minds STEAMED BUN were engaged in sophisticated strategizing! SHUCHIIN ACADEMY STUDENT COUNCIL SECRETARY That reminds me! Listen to this! CHIKA FUJIWARA I won a pair of movie tickets, but my parents won't let me see stuff like that, STEAMED BUN LOVE REFRAIN So are you two interested? NOTE: CHEAPSKATE Hmm.
Come to think of it, I have a rare free weekend.
So, Shinomiya, why don't we— Supposedly there's a jinx.
If a boy and a girl go see this movie together, they'll become a couple.
How romantic! Oh, Shirogane.
Did you just invite me? You want to go with me to a movie in which males and females are said to become a couple if they see it together.
Oh, dear, that sounds a lot like Like I'm asking her out on a date! Shirogane's predicament was, in romance, "The person who falls in love loses" is the rule! As they were both full of pride, neither one could confess one iota of romantic interest! What should I do? It's blatant.
The only thing I can do is smooth it over! Why don't we sell the tickets to a scalper? Oh, Shirogane, I've never seen you this flustered before.
It's cute.
This is unacceptable! There is no escape route on the path that Shirogane conquers! You're the one who's going to run, Shinomiya! Yeah, I invited you, Shinomiya.
I don't care about rumors like that, but it seems you do.
Do you want to see this movie with me? LOVE REFRAIN That moment, Shinomiya thought After indicating the intent to invite me, he assigned me the choice of whether we see the movie or not.
Well played.
I could choose to refuse, but then all of my preliminary arrangements up to now would become meaningless.
WINNER I went to all the trouble of fabricating a prize and putting it in Chika's mailbox.
All right! My plan to aim for one of Shirogane's rare free days would be for nothing! LOVE REFRAIN And if I turn him down now, Shirogane may never invite me to anything again! From the viewpoint of a young lady, I say no! And I say no to that kind of choice! LOVE REFRAIN Yes, well I can't help believing in stories like that.
So if we are going, I'd like you to at least invite me with more passion.
MISS INNOCEN "Miss Innocent" skill implemented! It's a negotiating skill passed on from father to child in the Shinomiya family.
It's said this calculated expression and voice even make the gods' hearts beat faster.
In truth, Shirogane's thoughts were also in disarray.
Well, I guess it's the man's duty to ask a woman out.
That thought crossed his mind! Of course, Shinomiya didn't let that chance go by! She pursued without a moment's delay! LOVE REFRAIN I'm at the age where I'd like to try a little romance, too.
This battle of thoughts seemed to be like a chess problem.
Shinomiya cornered Shirogane, who searched for an opportunity to turn it around.
The brains of these prodigies raced two steps ahead, clashing with each other as wheels turned faster than any ordinary mind! Kaguya strengthened her defense.
Shirogane tried to break through! They both constructed a theory leading to a conclusion! The one who completed the theory first would be the winner! If you don't like love stories, you can also use the tickets to go see the movie, "The Birdie from Tottori.
" “The Birdie from Tottori”? Chaos theory.
Secretary Fujiwara's casual remark added an element of chaos into the theories that were all but completed! It was only one element, but like the Big Bang, the chaos increased the possibilities.
In order to process the vastly expanded choices, Um, is something wrong? the wheels in their brains spun even faster, going beyond their limits! As a result, their brains craved a great deal of sugar! SUGAR The only sugar in the Student Council office was in a single steamed bun! Thus, whoever obtained the steamed bun would be the winner! Afternoon classes are about to start.
Well, see you again after school.
It was a sophisticated romantic battle of the brains, with the ingenuity and pride of these two geniuses on the line.
TODAY'S BATTLE RESUL BOTH SIDES DEFEATED I repeat, it was a sophisticated romantic battle of the brains, with the ingenuity and pride of these two geniuses on the line! Huh? KAGUYA WANTS TO BE STOPPED Oh.
Oh dear, huh? A love letter? Yes.
He was very passionate, even asking me out to dinner.
In other words, he invited you out on a date? A love letter to Shinomiya? Some men really are fools for love.
We're talking about Shinomiya who usually passes the time looking at me.
Does this fellow know, next to me, any other male in the vicinity would only register as a talking weed? MR.
WEED Hello! There's no way Shinomiya would accept.
Do you intend to go on the date? Of course.
Crack! You've lost your mind, Shinomiya! Blindly accepting an invitation from someone you've never met! He's someone who mustered the courage to write me an enthusiastic love letter.
I'm sure I'll fall for him.
Ridiculous! You think I'll just let this happen? Somehow, I have to stop Shinomiya! Don't go on a date with any man but me! What's that? Oh, my.
Do you find the prospect of another person taking me away really that unpleasant? That's cute.
This is as good as a confession of love! It's like I'm saying, "Shinomiya, I love you!" I have to I have to avoid that at all costs! Kaguya, are you really going? Yes.
I'm really looking forward to it.
At first glance, it seems Kaguya is thinking only romantically, without any principles.
As if I would really go.
Flowers must be blooming inside that boy's brain.
Of course it's a bluff! If he wants to invite me out on a date, he'd better start by offering me a country and then be worthy of my consideration.
Like I would just go out with him as an act of charity? Shinomiya had no intentions of going on a date with a talking weed.
After all, it was only a strategy to get Shirogane to stop her.
A romantic battle of the brains! As they were both full of pride, neither one could confess romantic interest! The only thing to do was use resourcefulness and skill to make the other person confess their love! Is there no way I can naturally keep her from going? Think! Intelligence put to the test! It's pointless.
Until Shirogane bows his head and honestly begs me not to go, I refuse to cancel.
A clever scheme! That's the romantic battle of the brains! The ongoing duel between them! Shinomiya as the president of Student Council, I can't endorse illicit activities with the opposite sex.
The ace up his sleeve.
An ingenious approach.
Giving his opinion not as himself, but as the president of Student Council, doesn't do him any damage.
That's an exaggeration.
We're just going out for dinner.
Our teacher will be the judge of that.
Suspension from school is very possible.
If you insist on going, well TATTLE TO THE TEACHER! I'll run it by the teacher! Tattling to the teacher! It's tremendously effective, but it's a risky choice, Naughty, naughty! We're gonna tell the teacher! since the person who uses it is likely to be labeled a coward.
But for Shirogane, preventing Shinomiya's date was more important than his honor.
That determination had an effect on Kaguya.
I didn't think Shirogane would use a forbidden move like that.
GRRR But I'm going to stick to my guns! I don't mind.
If it's true love, I'm prepared to even accept expulsion.
E-Expulsion? I'm prepared to offer my body and soul for true love.
Body and soul? Shirogane takes major damage! Th That's ridiculous! No, it's not! He's conveyed his ardent love for me.
Wouldn't it be dishonorable of me not to be prepared for expulsion? S-Stop being silly! Then maybe I should confess my love! For the sake of argument Just for argument, would you be able to forget about this boy then? There There's a possibility.
Could something so easily swayed be true love? If being wooed by another man can make you forget him, then there's no way it's true love! I just said there's a possibility! I see, I see.
Then it's true love.
If you're worried about me, you should stop me without regard to the way it looks! I don't care what you say! I'm really going! Unless I get a tearfully passionate confession of love, I really am going! Shirogane? TEARY-EYED I don't want anyone to have you, Kaguya! - I don't want you expelled! - Fujiwa WAAH No, no! - Don't go away! - Hey I'm crazy about you! - I love you! - Enough! I won't go, so get off of me! Kaguya lost today's battle.
TODAY'S BATTLE RESUL KAGUYA DEFEATED A PASSIONATE LOVE LETTER ARRIVED BY HAYASAKA Forget it! Why not? Just give me one bite! All right, but jeez.
Here.
Improper! Worth getting that angry about? KAGUYA WANTS I They don't have enough self-awareness about being students of traditional Shuchiin Academy.
Coaxing someone like that in public, it's despicable! It's silly and vulgar! That's a mean way to put it.
Shirogane, you brought your own lunch today? Yeah.
My grandpa in the country sent us a lot of vegetables.
It may not look great, but I have confidence in the taste.
Miyuki, eat it all up! It was the first time Kaguya had seen such a lunch.
Kaguya's own lunch was always prepared by a team of chefs and delivered to her during the lunch hour.
Her lunch was nutritionally balanced, of course, achieving harmony with fresh ingredients as the foundation.
That is the lunch that Kaguya knows.
Boiled food! Red wieners! Rolled omelette! Hamburger! Pickled dried plum! And SEAWEED EGG seasoning over rice! All the food one could want crammed into a box.
It struck Kaguya it was like the freedom of a child's treasure chest.
Wieners sliced to look like an octopus! They really exist! I want to try one, but Kaguya's pride wouldn't allow it! Lunch, lunch.
You brought lunch today? It looks delicious! I know, right? I made it all myself.
Lucky.
Please give me a bite! Sure, I don't mind.
Really? I'll give you this hamburger.
All right! Hey! Chika? DELICIOUS It's out of this world! The piping hot juice that spills out of a hamburger is delicious, but there's something special about a hamburger that's yummy at room temperature with all of the flavor locked in! FLAVOR YUMMY MEAT JUICES LOCKED IN - All right, eat this, too.
- Yay! Chika I considered you a friend but if your life was in danger tomorrow, I wouldn't lift a finger to help you.
What's that scornful stare about? You You think my lunch is that miserable? Make fun of me? I'll teach you a lesson! Hot miso soup! It's no good if the rice gets cold and hard, but if you have it with miso soup in that instant, the two merge into a supreme dish.
Try it.
Sure! Hey! Why did you take it from the part he already ate from? That's an indirect kiss! That, too? The rice! The rice is melting in my mouth! Yes, just as using cold rice for cooked rice with green tea FROZEN RICE DOESN'T STICK TOGETHER has been traditional for ages, MIX IT WITH SOUP there's marvelous compatibility between warm soup and a cold lunch.
BREAKS APAR DELICIOUS!! This is delicious! You're a genius, Shirogane! Okay, enough praise! How about that, Shinomiya? After all, this isn't secondhand knowledge! I bet you didn't know how good cold rice could be.
It's a discovery based on experimentation and inspiration! Kaguya! Kaguya! Kaguya! Kaguya! He's on the level of Newton, maybe even higher! Kaguya, let's go home together! I love getting to do a sleepover with you! It doesn't hurt, but I'm crying! Goodbye, Chika.
We're no longer friends.
She looks even more contemptuous! But why? I see.
If that's how you want to play it, then I have an idea, too.
Just wait until tomorrow.
THE NEXT DAY A lot of effort was put into this.
I just got bitten by the cooking bug.
Huh.
It actually looks good.
I know it! Then you're going to ask me, aren't you? Ask me for a bite.
Then I'll be magnanimous, and Gimme! Gimme! Good grief.
Fine, Shirogane, we can exchange lunches.
And that's how I'll accept it.
So come over anytime.
Why don't we eat, too? Yeah! Octopus-shaped wieners again today! Yep.
They're a staple.
Nice! They're cute and yummy! Nothing could be better! I don't know about that.
Why not? That's how I think of them! All right, all ri Shirogane I recall you love oysters.
What is this disturbing aura she's been giving off since yesterday? Why is she offering me a meaninglessly high-class dish? She must be plotting something.
Otherwise Oh, my.
That's a cute lunch.
I'll give you this out of charity, Shirogane, since I feel sorry for you.
She feels sorry for me? Th-This is humiliating! I can't take it.
I will not take it! I have nothing to give you in exchange for this high-class dish! I'd be happy with octopus wieners! Kaguya? Doesn't that hurt? Is your head okay? Darn it! That sounds like an insult! Anyway, what is that? Oh, this? Shirogane made lunch for me, too.
There's no difference in making it for one or two people.
It's delicious! Really? Good to hear.
Color is important to a lunch box, right? That's certainly true.
Cattle in human form.
Prideless parasite, relying on someone else to survive.
All that nutrition to your chest, nothing for your brain! Repulsive creature! I swear I'll never forgive you.
Shinomiya's eyes are like an assassin's! Crap! I have the club meeting today! I'd better hurry and eat! My octopus-shaped wiener! I'll see you later! What am I doing? I feel like a fool.
Kaguya It's good, right? Let's share it! Chika I'm sorry.
I had the wrong idea about you.
You're definitely a human being.
What did you think I was before? Have confidence.
TODAY'S BATTLE RESUL Today's battle.
I've never lacked confidence about that! DUE TO SHIROGANE'S ESCAPING, VICTORY FOR KAGUYA Kaguya won.
Good grief.
What a nuisance Shirogane is.
After all that preparation, he still hasn't confessed his love to me.
Kaguya purely hypothetically, if you truly fall in love someday, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love? The romantic battle of the brains.
It's a duel between two souls, with their dignity on the line! If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion.
Of course I would go.
I would go.
Please.
Of course I Of course.
Please understand that she's not having trouble because of a silly reason like "Confessing my love would be too embarrassing" or "What if he turned me down?" CONFESSION Who cares? It doesn't even matter!