Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (2019) s01e05 Episode Script

Kaguya Wants to Handle It/Miyuki Shirogane Wants to Show Off/Kaguya Wants to Be Covered

1 The seasonal uniform change! It's been so muggy lately, you know? Even just changing into short sleeves feels much more comfortable.
Right.
RESPONSIBILITY AND DUTY Relationship advice? Yes! I don't know what to do.
But I heard that the student council gives advice for that kind of thing, too.
KAGUYA WANTS TO HANDLE I You're the only one I can count on, Miss Kaguya! Understood.
The president here often says that lending an ear to the students' troubles is also a duty of the student council.
So, what's the trouble? I want to know how to break up smoothly with my boyfriend.
I thought it would be two or three steps before that point! Advice about having a boyfriend.
You're really popular, and I'm sure you know a lot about love! But I've never even gone out with anyone, so how could I possibly answer that? I knew I could come to you for a great idea! Her expectations are too high! But Shinomiya gave romantic advice once, so there's no way I can tell her it's beyond me! I'll just have to get through it somehow! Why do you want to break up? Actually, he suddenly asked me out.
Bam! I said, "Okay" on the spur of the moment, but I didn't really know him.
And I don't really know how to communicate with him either.
In fact, there's more distance between us now than before.
I feel guilty about it, so if it's going to be like this, I figured maybe we're better off just breaking up.
I see.
Until just before, you were strangers to each other.
So I can see where you're coming from.
You don't hate him, though, do you? Of course not.
But I don't know if what I feel for him is love.
Why don't you start by telling me his good points? What I like about him? Yes.
Everyone has strong points or something that's cute about them.
For example, he's honest or he does well academically.
Maybe he studies hard or he's actually really kind and can't turn his back on someone who's in trouble.
Maybe he has a menacing look.
A menacing look is a drawback.
No! Being bothered by your own menacing look is cute! You like boys who have menacing looks? Forget I said that.
The only person around you with a menacing look that I can think of That's the wrong idea.
Now let's continue.
If you find one good thing about him and start to appreciate that, you'll soon be able to see many of his good points, and the next thing you know, you're unable to take your eyes off of him.
And if you see him every day little by little, you'll fall in love.
That's what an acquaintance told me! I'm not talking about me! Really? It's really not about me! Because there isn't anyone I'm in love with! But the way you said it I overheard! Miss Fujiwara? It's no fair to have girls' talk without me! Please leave an issue like that to Love Detective Chika! LOVE DETECTIVE CHIKA Why are you breathing hard? Actually, I was here from the beginning, but made a mad dash to the drama club to borrow this costume.
You're in a quandary, because you can't find your feelings for him.
Right? Yes.
Then this great detective will find that lost property called "love" and return it to you.
So, imagine him flirting with another girl.
What is this? Just try to imagine it.
GLOOMY Gloomy.
Grrr.
GRRR GRRR I didn't like that feeling.
Right? In other words, that's jealousy.
You don't like that image because you like him.
The more unpleasant the feeling, the deeper the love! Love? So, you also like him, Miss Kashiwagi.
No, there's no way.
I don't feel that way about the president, right? I mean, come on.
You should take that feeling and nurture it.
I see.
I suspected myself of being a cold person for not being able to fall in love with someone who went as far as professing his love for me.
But you're right! I actually do love him! It's like she was talked into it! What should I do to talk to him more naturally? I have to give more appropriate advice, too! Good question.
Cognitive balance.
You can probably use the Romeo and Juliet effect.
- Romeo and Juliet? - Romeo and Juliet? Romeo and Juliet's love faced obstacles.
The idea is that love deepens when a couple shares a powerful enemy they face.
A powerful enemy? It doesn't have to be a person.
A shared imaginary enemy is fine.
We don't have an enemy like that.
Oh no! Everyone has a powerful enemy they have to face! Wh-Who? It's this society! Society? Unending war! The ever-expanding gap between rich and poor! There are no enemies more powerful than that! Wait.
It should be something minor like entrance exams or everyday troubles.
I-I see! So the two of us should rebel against this corrupt society! That's a large-scale challenge! Understood! The two of us will prepare! Good luck! Wait! Hold on! Will it be okay? Did we just create two antisocial deviants? It'll be fine! Please donate to the fund! Please! Please donate to the fund! It seems they were both already interested in charity work.
Please! This has become a good opportunity.
The feeling of wishing for peace That may be the true meaning of rebelling against society.
What are you talking about? So, her boyfriend is the one who went to the president for advice.
President? Shinomiya! Why are you here with them? Oh, I applied to do off-campus fundraising activities.
Please donate to the fund! Well, when I saw those two who don't seem to be doing it on a whim or as a pastime, Please! who are inexperienced but eager Please donate to the fund! it made me feel like supporting them even if it's not much.
Please! Jeez.
Please donate to the fund! This kind of activity really isn't up my alley, though.
Please! This is one of the things.
RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH: Results of today's match KAGUYA LOSES Kaguya loses.
PLEASE DONATE TO THE FUND PLEASE MIYUKI SHIROGANE WANTS TO SHOW OFF WHACK I was so close! Not athletic! NOTE: NOT ATHLETIC When it comes to studying, Shirogane excels, but as for athletics, he's a catastrophe, unfit for any human to see.
He delivered newspapers for many years, and in the summertime, worked as a mover.
He's easily able to ride his bike the 15 kilometers to school every day.
Miyuki Shirogane definitely doesn't suffer from a lack of physical ability.
He just has an alarming lack of coordination! That's the cause! So, in order to protect his social status at Shuchiin Academy, daily extraordinary training is essential! We've got volleyball next week.
I have to get to the point of average ability by then.
At this rate Please take this seriously.
It looks like a dying alpaca, but is that the president? Really? That dying alpaca? How cute.
No! Why isn't this working? President, are you okay? Yeah, no prob Fujiwara! What are you doing? I forgot this here.
Um Did she see me? It's over.
Good at both sports and studies The well-rounded President Shirogane brand Even though I didn't do anything wrong, my flawless image will Did I study for the test? Not really.
This is really bad.
Playing with a ball is so much fun! Oh, well.
Whatever she thinks about me, it won't do much damage.
Volleyball is the next sport for P.
E.
, right? I was able to reserve the gym, so I've been practicing.
My serve is kind of weak, you know? Oh, I see.
Want me to teach you? Look, you can't teach someone unless you can do it yourself.
I'm okay at volleyball! See? Right? Incredible! PRESIDENT'S CRITERIA How could her serve be so polished? How'd you like that? I-I had no idea you possessed such a special skill! I bet if I taught you, you'd improve in no time.
GRIN GRIN President! When you're asking someone for help, what kind of attitude is appropriate? P-Please teach me.
Sure! No problem! Okay, first let me see exactly what the problem is.
Please show me your serve several times.
Okay.
Why does that happen? I don't know myself.
No matter how many times I try, I keep hitting myself in the head.
And if I'm careful about my head, my timing is totally off.
I'm perfectly deadlocked! Right.
First of all, when you hit the ball, keep your eyes open! You don't have to state the obvious.
Right, right! Then open your eyes wide and try to hit the ball.
As if that would make a difference.
See? That didn't work.
Your eyes aren't open! They're not open! How can you project the feeling, "I did what you said, but it didn't work"? Look! They weren't even open one millimeter! I don't believe it! Maybe I have what they call "the yips"? What arrogance! President, maybe your image of yourself isn't in sync with your actual movements! Let's start with jumping with your eyes open! I'm going to be merciless with you, so be prepared! Please! OGRE And so 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 556, 557, 558, 559 984, 985, 986 ,987 No closed eyes when you jump.
The ball is your friend.
And so, with morning and evening training sessions, three days passed.
President Maybe this is enough.
I think you're good enough to be at the level of a person who just sucks at it.
Compared to when you were a creature, you've made a lot of progress.
Not yet! I can still do more! Why are you working so hard for this? Because I don't want them to see me look like a dork.
If they're going to see me, I want them to see me look cool! Are you talking about the person you like, President? Not at all! You've got romance on the brain! You don't have to hide it from me! Who's she? Who's she? Shut up! Please tell me! Don't pester me about that! Y-You did it! You did it! You did it! Yeah, Fujiwara.
Thanks to you.
It was so tough! But you persevered until you achieved it! All right, Fujiwara.
Next teach me how to toss and receive! ONE WEEK LATER Wow! Shirogane! Miss Fujiwara? I raised that boy.
You're his mother? RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH: Results of today's match Shirogane and Fujiwara's victory! SHIROGANE AND FUJIWARA'S VICTORY YES, WELL I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
KAGUYA WANTS TO BE COVERED All right.
Ishigami finished dealing with the aftermath of that last mixer so there really isn't anything for us to do today.
Shall we take the day off? Sure! Then you'd better call for an early pickup, Miss Kaguya.
Actually the car has a flat or something, so I thought I'd walk home.
You won't be kidnapped? Not much evidence is left on a rainy day, so that's when they target you! Please don't say things that'll make me nervous.
I'd like to give you a lift, but I have somewhere to go.
Shinomiya is going to walk home? That's okay.
I appreciate the sentiment.
Then maybe that'll work? The turning point of the season.
The rainy season.
Sharing an umbrella! Two shoulders close together under one umbrella, an event that immediately closes the distance between man and woman.
The rainy season is the ideal season to share an umbrella.
What nonsense.
Shamefully jostling each other under one umbrella But I do recognize the meaning behind sharing an umbrella.
In the realm of romance, what should be feared the most is summer vacation magic.
"Spending summer vacation with your sweetheart.
" That brand is so sought after that before summer vacation starts, evaluation of the opposite sex takes place everywhere throughout the school.
Sharing an umbrella emphasizes to onlookers an intimacy with a member of the opposite sex, DAMN MARKING COMPLETE!! HE'S TAKEN and is the most efficient way to mark someone as being excluded from the group of "summer sweetheart candidates.
" It's really coming down.
Yes.
It wasn't raining at all this morning.
There's pretty much one way that sharing an umbrella works.
One "A" has forgotten to bring an umbrella and is just standing there.
Two Unable to ignore that, "B" asks, "Wanna share?" WANNA SHARE? SUCCESS!! Well, should we go? In short, the success of sharing an umbrella Yes.
depends on the "I forgot my umbrella" appeal! However What should I do? I don't have an umbrella.
Shoot, I forgot my umbrella.
COMPETITION BATTING!! Batting! An umbrella sharing event begins with one person forgetting their umbrella.
But if they both forget their umbrellas, there are no developments! It's just two people who have forgotten to bring an umbrella! Y-You forgot your umbrella, too, Shinomiya? Yes.
It just slipped my mind, since I usually get picked up.
Why did you forget? Well, I didn't check the weather forecast.
I didn't think we were in for a storm like this.
Of course, it's all a bluff! They both have folding umbrellas in their bags! What do I do? Tell her I have an umbrella now? But if I do that Oh, my.
You wanted to get under my umbrella so badly that you lied about your umbrella? Good grief.
How cute.
I can't! Already, taking out the umbrella would expose a meaningful lie.
And that would also directly link to inviting the other person to share the umbrella.
That would clearly spell defeat.
Wait.
If she doesn't have a ride, I'm sure someone from the Shinomiya house would've given her an umbrella.
It wouldn't matter that it slipped her mind! I've got your number, President.
You have an umbrella in that bag, don't you? You're lying because you're too embarrassed to invite me under your umbrella.
In this situation, the condition for victory is none other than exposing the other person's lie! Hey, Shinomiya, maybe you've actually got one.
Shirogane made the first move.
Your usual ride had a flat today, on the day it rains.
But today of all days, someone like you, who always plans ahead, forgot her umbrella.
How likely is that? What are you trying to say? Oh, nothing.
Not enough information.
Should I gamble on a game-winning hit? If we're talking planning ahead, you do the same, President.
What? Before, you said you didn't check the weather forecast, but I find that odd.
What's odd about it? I have days like that.
You always ride your bicycle to school, don't you? Yes, but Then, why did you take the train today? I noticed your bike wasn't in the bike rack today.
What? I mean, if you think about it, there's nothing unnatural at all.
On a rainy day, you take the train to school.
That's the reasonable thing to do, isn't it? Say, President you said you missed the weather forecast, right? Then why did you choose to take the train today, of all days? The truth is you saw it, didn't you? The weather forecast.
The difference in preparation! Maybe you just thought you forgot to bring an umbrella.
President, would you take a look in your bag to see if it's there? The difference in advance preparation will decide the outcome of the game! It didn't even take Shirogane an hour to devise his umbrella-sharing plan.
On the other hand, Kaguya confirmed the weather report.
She carefully looked at the weather map, used an awl to pierce the tire of her ride, and checked the bicycle rack.
The amount of advance preparation gave her a big lead.
Naturally, she predicted this situation, as well.
Now I'll score a point for good measure! I guess I'll just get soaked walking home in the rain.
GRIN Miss Kaguya, you forgot your umbrella? I've got a spare in the classroom, so please use this one.
Please be more careful for next time! Absent-minded Miss Kaguya! Well, see ya tomorrow! I had him! I was one step away! Why does that girl always spoil it? Now that it's come to this Here.
I'm giving you this umbrella, President! Do what you want with it! Here! No, that umbrella belongs to Fujiwara.
I'm subletting it! No, look All right.
How about I borrow half of it? I suppose that will do.
Results of today's match RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH: A tie.
A TIE