Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017) s01e02 Episode Script

Listen Up

1 KEVIN: My life was going pretty terrible.
I lost my job, had to move in with my sister and my niece.
You think you can just come into our lives? I don't even know you.
I'm here now.
And then, things got weird.
[ROARING] Do not be afraid.
Super weird.
Kevin? YVETTE: Haven't you always felt that you were meant for something greater? Yeah, no.
In every generation, there are 36 righteous souls.
You are the last of the righteous.
Initially, I was reluctant to believe her.
- Who are you talking to? - She can't see me.
But she's done a pretty good job convincing me she's real.
I'm here to protect you.
And now I have to do something I haven't had to do before Put others before myself, help people.
I'm not a good person.
But something has changed.
I feel like I'm getting a second chance.
- What just happened? - That guy - was wearing so much Drakkar Noir.
- [SCOFFS] I am the last guy you'd ever want to save the world, but I think I can figure it out Probably.
This world is full of such beauty and grace, but most humans take it for granted.
They are unable to truly experience the majesty all around them.
[STRAINING] That's 50.
If you're gonna put me through boot camp, can we at least share your magic, invisible umbrella? Kevin, this is the start of your spiritual training.
[GRUNTS] It doesn't feel spiritual! It feels like wet push-ups! Ugh! Right now, you're learning how to experience life's everyday miracles, how to listen to the Universe.
[GRUNTS] Are you stoned? It's simple.
The Universe will guide you to those who are in need of your help.
That will build your spiritual power.
And, eventually, your spirit will be strong enough to find the other righteous you got it? Can't you just give me a list of the people I need to help? I'm a I'm a list guy.
There are no lists, Kevin.
- Ugh! - I know just as much as you do.
Now get up.
It's time for lunges.
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Oh, no.
I'm done.
And, honestly, I don't think the Universe wants to talk to me at all.
How are you feeling? Wet, exhausted.
Good In moments like this, when you're too tired to even think, that's when everything falls away and things become much clearer.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS] [CHIMES TINKLING] Ah! [LAUGHS] Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! It's raining! It's raining on me! - Ah! It's so wet.
- Reese: Uh, Mom.
Oh! Oh! [LAUGHS MANICALLY] Oh, my God! The rain is so wet! Oh! Oh, God! Look at it! Look at it! [ALARM BLARING] Welcome to your life Yeah, yeah - It could be a fantasy - [GROANS] Yeah, yeah Welcome to your world - My girl - [SNIFFS] Let it be your fantasy - Oh, yeah - [EXHALES SHARPLY] - [MUSIC STOPS] - Why so chipper? It's 4:00 a.
m.
Good morning to you, too.
As I fell asleep last night, I had this big idea.
Oh, boy.
Do I want to hear this? You want me to listen to the Universe, right? Uh, that's how you'll find the people who need your help but And listening is fine, but it takes a lot of time, and I have a better plan.
What if Instead of waiting for the Universe to guide me, I guide the Universe? No, I did not want to hear this, Kevin.
Don't worry.
I am all over it.
Okay? Uh, now "Auto.
" Mm.
This one's a little different than - I have but - Mm.
[INSECTS CHIRPING] - - [PRINTER WHIRRING] - Yeah.
- Kevin? - What are you doing? - Sorry.
Did I wake you up? I just was getting a head start on the day.
"Need help? Call Kevin.
I'll do anything! Free!" - Yep.
- What the hell is this? It's just a project I've been working on.
I'm gonna hand these out in town, uh maybe do some windshields.
Okay.
[PRINTER BEEPS] What's the plan? This.
This is the plan.
Look Have you spoken to your therapist? I We traded voicemails.
It was basically the same - thing as actually talking.
- Kevin You've gone through something really serious.
You need to make getting better a priority.
I am.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
It's kind of hard to believe that when you're up at 4:00 a.
m.
, printing flyers that make you sound like a prostitute.
What? No, they - Oh! They kind of do, don't they? - A lot.
- Look, Kevin.
- Mnh! Just put the flyers away.
Focus on yourself, okay? All over it.
I'm going back to bed.
[CHAIR CREAKS LIGHTLY] [MARKER SCRATCHING] "No dirty stuff, please.
" AMY: You need to start working on your science project tonight, okay No more procrastinating.
Oh, and you need to work on your scene - for the play tryouts.
- I know.
- "Aim.
" Hey.
- Yeah.
Question Can I borrow that old truck in the garage? Uh, no.
Uh, it's It's not running.
Um Can I get a ride with you guys? Yeah, well, we're leaving now.
Can you leave now? - 'Cause we're leaving right now.
- Yes, I just need to shower, - Kevin, we are leaving right now.
- brush my teeth, - uh, iron a shirt maybe.
- Come on.
Even the best-laid plans - Come apart, comeback kid - [SPITS] - Oh! - Gross.
There's nothing gross about proper dental care, okay? Hey, that truck is great.
When do you think it'll be fixed? Oh, uh, I don't know.
[CHUCKLING] Probably never.
It needs a new carburetor.
I can't find one.
Okay.
Call me if you need me.
- Hand these out at school, okay? - No, I told you - not to do the stupid flyer thing.
- Bye! Thanks for the ride! Kevin.
I told him not to do the stupid flyer thing.
- [INDISTINCT TALKING] - Kevin.
Oh, my God.
What is happening? He's not taking this seriously.
He's just weird.
I think he's doing okay.
No.
No.
You don't understand.
I mean, what if this is the same way that he behaved before he [SIGHS] You know what? You're right.
He's fine.
Let's get you to school.
Free help - What a great idea! - [LAUGHS] It doesn't make me seem like a prostitute, right? No! Prostitutes charge money.
That's a great point.
[CHUCKLES] Oh! Hey! I was talking to some of the guys from high school.
We were thinking about getting together tonight.
[CHUCKLES] Oh.
Little welcome-back party.
Oh, I don't know.
I It's been years since I've seen anyone from school.
- Oh, I totally understand.
Totally.
- Okay.
Just gonna lose the deposit on karaoke machine - Oh - And the booze luge and the second booze luge for when the first one melts.
But no biggie.
Okay, I'll be there.
- Nice! - Let's do it.
Hey, do you mind if I hand some of these out to your customers? Dude I'd be bummed if you didn't.
Awesome.
I can help with anything.
Here you go, sir.
Tell your friends.
Can I This is not listening.
[HUSHED] Yes, it is.
You said help people.
Mnh-mnh.
Mnh-mnh.
I said listen to the Universe.
[CLEARS THROAT] I don't know what that means.
Look.
You're trying, and I applaud that.
But handing out flyers is How should I put this? So stupid it makes me sad.
This is not a yard sale.
This is something that has never happened in the history of humanity! But this will get results.
You know what? Fine.
You go get your results.
Fine.
I-I will Go Get results.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Hey.
[CHUCKLES] "Three Roads Brewery"? Come on, guys.
Don't hog the board.
[INHALES] - [WIND BLOWS] - That's not [SIGHS] Okay! Who needs help? [TACK CLATTERS] Hmm.
It's on.
Oh, no, no, no, don't! [BREATHES SHARPLY] - "Three Roads Brewery"? - What the hell, man? Sorry.
My bad.
I-I didn't mean to, uh I was just trying [CLICKS TONGUE] Yep.
Guess you got your results.
[SIGHS] Okay.
Honey, well, you kept me waiting Honey, well, you took a while - Hey, there.
- Hey.
Can I Can I help you with something? Um I'm not sure.
Uh Did you go to La Salle High School? Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
I, uh, graduated in 2002.
I'm Jake Gilmore.
Kevin Finn.
'99.
Oh, no way! Wow! Okay.
Oh, that's really cool.
Yeah, this place is really cool.
Ah, yeah, definitely, if you're into beer.
- Know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah.
Here, try this.
Oh.
Thank you.
It's our House Stout, brewed with roasted chicory.
It's my grandfather's recipe.
Oh, wow.
That is really good.
[CHUCKLES] - Good.
I'm glad you like it.
- I'll leave you guys to talk.
- Thanks, Pop.
- Thank you - Enjoy.
- Uh, do you want to try anything else? No, I-I think I'm good.
Uh, actually, I was wondering if, um This will sound weird, but do you need any help with anything? Unfortunately, I don't think my dad's looking to hire right now.
[INHALES SHARPLY] No, sorry.
I meant I meant do you D-Do you any help in your life? You know, like, are you sad about anything? - [LAUGHS] N Uh no.
- No? - No.
- Oh.
Huh.
Okay.
Well, um are you married? Maybe there's some relationship issues or? - Ooh! - There could be a dead relative that you haven't gotten over? Credit-card debt? Drug addiction? Gambling addiction? I-I-I have to get back to work.
'Cause even if you're winning, it's still an addict Wait.
Hold on, hold on.
No, no.
No.
[CHUCKLES] Sorry, you need my help.
Something is wrong with you.
Bullying? Body issues? Gluttony? Mm-hmm.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] You waste food.
Laziness? You waste water.
Lust? You waste electricity? Jealousy! You have a secret child.
Am I at least getting warm? You, um Oh.
[WHISPERING] You have trouble with the law.
Is that it? NATE: Hi.
Disturbance call came over the radio? [NORMAL VOICE] What? Me? No.
Oh.
But Okay, yeah.
That makes sense.
Actually, we know each other.
Uh, listen, I'm gonna think about this some more.
Don't even worry about it, because I'm helping you, Jake! KEVIN: Thank you for giving me a ride home.
- I'm not a taxi service, Kevin.
- I know, I know.
You can't just walk into a place of business and start accosting people.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I-I was just trying to figure out how to be helpful.
By not doing that.
Right, right.
Um, thanks again, Nate.
Hopefully, Amy will fix her truck soon, and then I can just drive that.
What's wrong with it? Um she said something about a carburetor.
- Is that a car thing? - I might know a guy.
Oh, awesome.
That's be great.
Thanks.
- [DOOR CLOSES] - Hey, uh A bunch of us are getting together tonight at Frankie's if if you want to All right.
See you tonight, buddy! [OWL HOOTING, CRICKETS CHIRPING] A cream cheese and jelly sandwich? What? Are you in preschool? Now you're here.
It's great timing.
You show up after you let the Universe toss me in the back of a police car.
I let a police officer toss you in the back of a police car.
My job is to keep you alive.
You look alive to me.
Dumb but alive.
So mean.
Look, I think, if we're gonna be a team, we need to work on how we treat each other.
We're not a team.
Um we absolutely are.
We're like Good Cop, Angel Cop.
Maybe it would help if, um if I knew a little bit more about you.
Like, what did you do before you came down here? You don't need to know anything about me.
You need to focus on helping Jake.
But[SIGHS] But I don't know anything about anything.
Like, what happened to the rest of the 36 righteous? [CLEARS THROAT] We're not sure.
By the time we all arrived You were the only one left.
And so I'm pretty amazing.
- You're a real hero.
- Mm.
But I don't like to really talk about it.
I'm just sort of silent Quiet, silent hero type.
- Mm.
Humility.
- So humble.
I can tell.
I know.
I know I I know I shouldn't.
It just - You know, just - Amy? Kevin.
Hey.
[GRUNTS] Hey.
Who are you, uh talking to? What? Um no one.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] I was talking to myself.
Why are you all dressed up? Oh, um T-Tyler's having a little get-together tonight.
- You want to come? - No, I can't.
- It's a school night.
- All right.
I mean, honestly, a-a party doesn't sound like a good idea for you either.
Really? Why not? Well, it just you know, it's a lot.
A lot of people there from your past and I don't know.
They're gonna ask a lot of questions about what you've been up to, and it's just It could be a stressful situation for someone who's been through what you've been through.
You know, you don't have to, um [CHUCKLING] Talk around it.
What? What What What I did, um I'm okay talking about it, um unless it makes you uncomfortable.
No, it doesn't make me uncomfortable.
Okay, then what's with the egg shells? All right.
Um I'm scared that you're gonna try to kill yourself again.
Oh, uh Yeah.
Yeah, before you got here, I went through your room to make sure that there was nothing in there that you could use to hurt yourself with.
Forgot my Alamo letter opener.
You know, I'm glad that you think - this is funny.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make less of what I What I did.
But as responsible as you feel for me, uh[SIGHS] It's It isn't just about you.
I need to be responsible for me, too, you know? [VEHICLE APPROACHES, HORN HONKING] It's - It's Tyler.
- Yeah.
Go.
Go.
Have fun.
TYLER: Karaoke action! Let's do it! All right.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND] [CHUCKLING] Whoa.
You look exactly the same.
Oh.
[LAUGHS] I had such a crush on, like, three of your friends in high school.
- [CHUCKLES] - Cool.
Yeah.
That's cool.
So, I heard you're moving back here? Um, yeah.
- Are you crazy? - No.
Why would you want to leave New York? Oh, there's, uh, um a bunch of reasons.
Thank you.
Um It just, uh Oh.
Would you excuse me for a minute? What are you doing here? Your species is able to express joy in some amazing ways Music, dance, celebrations like this.
Ahh! Hey, what? You're not into it? No, I-I-I am.
Amy was right, though.
Everybody's asking why I'm here.
And? [CHUCKLING] And I guarantee they don't really want to know the answer.
Look, you want to know more about me.
- Mm-hmm.
- Why? So So you can feel comfortable with me.
That's how you connect with people.
You You share a little bit of yourself with them.
Right? I-I don't know.
I You don't know what? I, um, don't know why you'd want to come to this party, but here you are.
Uh - Thanks, man.
- Oh, you know what? Here, let me - Let me get this.
Uh - Oh, you don't have to do that.
No, I'm sorry about today.
And thank you for coming.
Thank Thank you.
[CHUCKLES] And welcome home.
[CHUCKLES] - You were in New York, right? - [BREATHES DEEPLY] What made you come back? Oh, uh I just wanted a change.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] Um I Hated my life.
Why? I had all these things that Great job, great car, great apartment, and it it it didn't matter.
- I-I was miserable.
- Hmm.
And I felt like a jerk for being miserable.
Uh, I I was trapped.
Yeah, I've felt like that.
My dad wakes up every morning thinking about beer.
It's It's, um It's his passion.
I hate beer so much.
Oh, wow.
I hate lagers and stouts, pilsners and ports and doppelbocks and hefeweizens.
Ugh! Hefeweizen is so gross.
I hate it.
I hate everything about beer.
- You don't like beer.
- Not even the littlest bit.
Yeah, totally get it.
[CHUCKLES] Um, well, if you If you could do another job, what would it be? First thing that comes to your mind.
It doesn't It doesn't matter, man.
It doesn't It doesn't You know, I'm I'm I'm an only child, and so, if I don't do it, then the family business is gone.
Look, that's - That's hard, but I - Yeah.
I'm pretty sure your dad wouldn't want you to be miserable.
Talk to him.
Listen, it's not a bad life.
It's just not the one I wanted.
- TYLER: All right! - [FEEDBACK] Since I'm the only one who signed up, I guess I'm gonna get this party started! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHUCKLES] Kevin, welcome home, buddy.
This one's for you.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] - [BAR PATRONS GROAN] No! No, no, no! - Aw! - [BAR PATRONS MURMUR] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING, FEEDBACK] - [BAR PATRONS GROANING] - Aw.
MAN: Aw, Tyler! [BLOWS, SLURPING] Aw, not again! Not again.
[LAUGHS] Jake, don't you owe it to yourself to at least start a dialogue with your dad? You don't have to dump it on him - all at once, but - [SIGHS] Maybe tell him you need a little break.
I guess.
I don't know.
You want a little moral support? 'Cause I can come with.
Yeah, that'd be good.
Thanks.
Okay! Let's get this party restarted! Who knows how to fix a karaoke machine? [FORT ATLANTIC'S "JUST HOLD ON" PLAYS] So, you're like a handyman that doesn't charge any money? - Kristin.
- Hey.
- [CHUCKLES] - Seems like a bad business model.
Oh, it is the worst.
But I would be happy to offer you my services anytime.
Oh, well, you always were a gentleman.
[CHUCKLES] Well, then, why did your mom hate me when we were dating? She, uh She thought you were too smooth.
- Was I? - Oh, yeah.
[CLICKS TONGUE] But, um There was a lot to like.
Well, there was a lot to like with you, too.
So, um.
So, talk to me about the you know, the services.
What What exactly c Is it that you can do? Uh, well, just like it says, I can do anything.
- Electrical.
- Uh, no.
[LAUGHING] I have no idea what I'm doing here.
What about plumbing? Um no.
Yuck.
No way.
Ugh.
Could you change a hard-to-reach light bulb? Maybe.
Um I really would have to see it to be sure.
I speak these words - With an autumn tone - It doesn't matter.
- Aaaah! - [GLASS SHATTERS] - I definitely can't fix that.
- [CHUCKLES] I know.
I know he's an adult.
But it would still be nice if he returned a text.
Mom? Reese.
[SIGHS] Geez.
Don't do that.
What are you doing up? Heard you out here.
You only stay up late when you worry.
Sweetheart.
[CHUCKLES] I'm okay.
Kevin's probably just out doing something stupid.
I know.
I know.
Now, go on.
Bed.
- It's a school night.
- School night for you, too.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] Yeah.
[CHUCKLES] All right.
You're right.
I don't know how I'm gonna sleep until he gets home, but I will try.
Mom everything's gonna be fine.
- [SWITCH CLICKS] - Come on.
[INSECTS CHIRPING] [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] KRISTEN: [LAUGHING] My God.
Look at you.
You're a baby.
You said that I would regret this vest.
[CHUCKLES] I get embarrassed every time I look at it.
I wish I still had this vest.
I would be wearing that vest right now, - just no pants, gold vest.
- [LAUGHS] Oh, man.
Amy and Jon.
Oh.
God.
He made her so happy.
Yeah.
I swear, he looked at her like that every day they were together.
- So finish your whiskey or beer - [CELLPHONE VIBRATING] Um not me.
- Oh.
- Closing time You don't have to go home - Oh, shoot.
- What's wrong? Uh, uh, nothing.
I just I forgot to let my sister know where I was, and she, um Called and texted a lot.
[CHUCKLES] I'll just I'll just let her know that I'll be sleeping elsewhere.
Oh, no, no, go home, and then she won't be worried.
Oh.
Okay.
I mean, I'm fine to stay.
Yeah, no, I know.
I just I, uh - I have yoga super early.
- Oh.
And was not expecting to - host a sleepover so - Okay.
- [BOTH LAUGH] - Closing time Um Ooh, pants.
to the places you will be [INSECTS CHIRPING] - Well, well, well! - Mm.
Somebody's happy! Don't even try to guilt me about this, okay? - I really like her.
So - Wow! - Humans are weird about sex.
- What? I mean, millions of years, and you have the same hang-ups you've always had? If it's consenting adults, I don't care.
This is uncomfortable.
Talking about this with you is uncomfortable.
And you still haven't figured out the right way to do it.
There's a right way? Oh, such a waste.
Tell me the right way.
REESE: Kevin! Reese! What are you doing out here? - Stop it! Stop acting crazy! - Hmm? I'm not! You're having arguments with nobody in the middle of the street! Well, sure.
Okay.
You stay out all night, and you don't even call my mom? - And you know what she's like.
- Yes, I know.
I'm sorry.
Kevin, if you're gonna stay, you have to stop worrying her.
You have to act like a normal person.
Do you even know how to act normal? [SIGHS] I can probably figure it out.
Uh Here, come on.
Let's Let's get you home.
Okay? [CHIRPING CONTINUES] Look at that.
[CHUCKLING] Awesome.
Just like every other night.
It is.
[SIGHS] Dad.
I know how much this means to you, but I've been feeling really burnt out lately, and I [SIGHING] I think I need a break.
- Good.
- Yeah? Yeah, keep it simple.
Um, ease in.
Just Just trying to get the conversation started.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
- I'm going in.
- Go get 'em.
[SIGHS] [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] Kristin.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hi.
I was, um I was gonna call you to see if you wanted to grab dinner tonight.
Oh, yeah, no thanks.
I'm good.
You're good? Okay, um, well, what about tomorrow night? Yeah, I don't think so.
Wait, did I did I do something wrong? - No, no, no.
No? - Okay.
I just I-I mean, you know, 'cause, I [SCOFFING] Come on, we're not gonna We're not gonna do this again, right? Well Why? I mean, we we we broke up years ago, - but that doesn't mean that we c - We didn't break up.
Um, I-I-I don't understand.
We didn't break up.
Mm You went away to college, and, uh, we talked a few a few times.
And then I left you a couple messages, and you never called me back.
So I got the message.
Oh.
Wow.
That's terrible.
[CHUCKLES] I'm I'm terrible.
Kevin.
I'm not mad.
I'm I'm not even hurt anymore.
It was a It was a long time ago.
[INHALES SHARPLY] But I-I-I-I didn't mean I Oh, you know, I actually I got to I got to run, okay? Okay.
Kevin! - I did it.
I quit.
I'm done.
- Yeah? That's great.
Oh, wait.
You what? I thought you were gonna start slow, - maybe work up to the - No, you inspired me.
You I, uh I, uh This is my life.
It's the only one I get.
I got to follow my heart, right? - Yeah, yeah.
- I mean, that's what you said.
- That's - Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
How did How did your How did your dad take it? Oh, no, that was the best part.
I mean, he he seemed, uh He seemed really totally cool with it.
- Oh.
- [LAUGHING] I know.
- Fantastic.
- Right? [GRUNTS] Oh, my Gosh.
Oh, no.
Dad! Dad? Blood pressure's elevated.
Checking vitals.
[RADIO CHATTER] This is all your fault.
- [DOORS CLOSE] - [SIREN WAILING] [CREAKS] - - - Where are you going? - Home.
No, you need to go to the hospital.
The Universe just gave you a sign by giving you an actual sign.
Well, the Universe just made me give Jake's dad a heart attack, so the Universe can bite me because I am done.
That's not how this works.
You made a mistake.
I'm not one of the 36, so go find someone else.
You cannot ignore me, Kevin.
You cannot ignore the Universe! See, that's where you're wrong because I am great at ignoring things.
I've been ignoring things for my whole life! [TIRES SCREECH] - WOMAN: Aah! - MAN: Hospital! - Ooh! Oh, my God! - Which way to the hospital?! [WOMAN SCREAMING] [TIRES SCREECH] [SIRENS WAILING] Ignoring! So much ignoring.
Done? Okay.
What? Oh, don't get mad, Kevin.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] STUDENT: That's crazy.
STUDENT #2: That's cool.
Amy? Nate.
Is everything okay? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, everything's fine.
Oh.
[SIGHS] Okay.
'Cause the last thing you want is a surprise visit from a cop.
[CHUCKLES] But, I mean, you're great.
Uh hi.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Hi.
So, I spoke with a guy at our impound lot who knows a guy down in Colton.
Kevin said you needed a carburetor for your truck.
So here it is.
It's rebuilt.
I-I hope that's okay.
Yeah.
It, um It's great.
[CHUCKLES] Thank you.
Um I got a class across campus, so I've got to run, but thanks, Nate.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Earlier today, an apparent heart attack sent the man to the hospital, where he is expected to under ANNOUNCER: Side effects may include hallucinations, heart attack that will require hospitalization - [TV CLICKS OFF] - [SIGHS] [BIRDS CHIRPING] Hey, is this a carburetor? Where'd you get it? Is everything okay? Fine.
Oh.
All right.
You know what would be great? For you not to tell everybody about my business.
Um, what are you talking about? Nate brought that to school.
He said that you told him all about it.
And this makes you supper happy? I didn't ask you to do that, Kevin.
Worry about yourself.
Okay, am I missing something? Or are you actually upset because someone did something nice for you? No, I'm upset because you're - not taking care of yourself.
- [SIGHS] Amy, I love you, but you are just as messed up as I am.
Oh, that's hilarious.
You try to control everybody else's life, but you are out of control.
I have a PhD.
Yeah, the U.
S.
government, they call me.
- Oh.
- And they ask me about things.
Congratulations.
You're still nuts.
I'm not the one who's passing out prostitute flyers.
- I'm I'm taking initiative, okay? - No.
No, Kevin.
You're making a joke out of this like you do everything else in your life.
I'm not Mnh! [GRUNTING] What? - What? - [EXHALES SHARPLY] Aah! Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Kevin.
I'm so sorry.
We have to get you to a hospital.
Oh, my God.
Kevin, are you okay? Go ahead.
- Ignore that.
- [GRUNTS] You're lucky it's bruised and not broken.
Cool.
That should do it.
Ice it.
Keep it elevated.
They'll be here to discharge you shortly.
- Thank you, Doctor.
- WOMAN: I.
V.
check needed in 304.
- Again, I am so, so sorry.
- Check needed in 304.
- Oh, it was it was an accident.
I - No.
[SIGHS] Kevin, that was a really stupid fight.
No, you're you're right.
I shouldn't be sharing your business.
It's not that.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] [SIGHS] Sometimes, I, um [CHUCKLES] I talk to the truck, and I pretend it's Jon.
Like the Like the truck is haunted by Jon? No, it's not haunted by Jon.
- Because that would be amazing, right? - Shh.
Just shut up.
Okay.
[CHUCKLES] We bought it a few years ago, and we worked on it together.
So after the accident I don't know.
It was just like [VOICE BREAKING] It was just like my little conduit to him.
[SCOFFS] [SIGHS] So if the truck gets fixed, then no more - Jon.
Okay.
- I know.
- It's stupid.
- No, it's not.
- [SIGHS] - It's not.
I [SIGHS] I know I wasn't around after Jon died, um, or before.
- It's okay.
- It It's really not.
But I I want to be a part of your life now.
So, let's Let's talk to each other About anything, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
[SIGHS] And I can be your haunted truck, Amy.
- God, you are so weird.
- What? I'm gonna go pull the car around.
I'll meet you out front.
[CHUCKLES] Great.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Got a delivery for a Karl Gilmore from Three Roads Brewery? It's room 545.
Let me call in upstairs first.
[SIGHS] Uh, Mr.
Gilmore? Hi.
Kevin Finn.
You called the cops on me yesterday.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT] Um, look.
I was the one who convinced Jake to talk to you, and I just want to say that I'm I'm I'm really sorry.
You're apologizing? I know it's not enough.
Um You know, the doctor came in here and said it wasn't a heart attack, more like an early warning.
So I should be kind of thanking you.
In a way, you you saved my life.
Wait.
Was I supposed to be helping you and not Not Jake? [GASPS] You know, you're a weird kind of guy you know that? [LAUGHS] Uh, oh.
Uh sorry.
[CHUCKLES] And And, yes, true.
It was kind of funny, you know? He chose you to pour his heart out to.
You're a stranger.
He couldn't hurt my feelings.
[CHUCKLES] He was really afraid to to hurt you.
At the end of the day, his happiness is the most important thing, and it's a lot more important than any of that tradition crap.
That's great.
- [CHUCKLES] - And Anheuser-Busch is after me to give me a boatload of money for my whole outfit.
Also great.
[LAUGHS] Well um, get well soon, Mr.
Gilmore.
[CHUCKLES] [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] [BREATHES DEEPLY] [ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE, MACHINERY WHIRRING] [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS] [GASPING] Help! [MAN SHOUTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE] [GASPS] [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] [SPITS] [TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE] MAN: Case manager, please report to Physical Therapy.
Case manager to Physical Therapy.
Why are you wet? [SIREN WAILING] I was swimming.
What drugs did they give you? I was in the elevator, and then, I was in water.
It looked like some other country.
Someone was yelling.
A vision.
A vision! You accomplished your mission, and the Universe has rewarded you.
But it didn't make any sense.
I-It's a piece of the puzzle.
The more you build your spiritual power, the more you'll see.
Another step towards finding one of the righteous.
Ugh.
This is a lot.
Is Are you sure that I'm I'm the one to save us? You're not gonna have to do this alone.
Okay.
Before I existed Before anything existed there was nothing.
I was nothing.
Total emptiness.
I'm not going back to that.
I think I understand what you're saying.
- You want to be my partner in crime - Ugh.
- My ride or die - Mnh-mnh.
My friend and my lover.
Sorry.
I was just saying things, and that that last one just came out.
Sorry.
[SEMISONIC'S "CLOSING TIME" PLAYS] Closing time Hey.
That's so weird.
I was just listening to this song at Kristin's.
The Universe is always telling you something.
Closing time [CELLPHONE VIBRATES] Turn all of the lights on Over every boy and every girl [CLEARS THROAT] Hello.
KEVIN: Hey, babe.
Sorry I haven't called.
I've been so busy.
Kevin? Yeah.
Got this sociology midterm.
[SCOFFS] Wait, are you drunk? No, but my roommate, uh, is pledging Beta, and he had to shotgun like 10 beers, so that's pretty dope.
Um Anyway, I-I-I got your message yesterday.
I know who I want to take me home Yesterday? Yeah.
And, um I owe it to you to say that I feel like doing a long-distance relationship is not working.
Take me home I see.
Yeah, but, um But I'll never forget about you Um ever.
Like, I bet every other girl I date, even in my 20s and 30s, I will still always compare them to you.
But anyway, I think we should, uh we should probably break up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
Cool, cool.
Uh, well, look, um, you probably want to hang up on me, um, just for the closure part.
Closing time [LAUGHS] Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end [VEHICLE APPROACHES] AMY: Kevin! Kevin! [MUSIC ENDS] Hey! [LAUGHS] [ENGINE STARTS] Want a ride? [CHUCKLING] Oho, you know I do.
Oh! This is great.
Yeah.
It came out okay.
And now I have a car.
No, you don't have a car.
- Why not? - You'll ruin it! - I will not.
- What happened to your last car? That's I mean, yeah, that's a fair point.
Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES] - Reese! Come for a ride with us.
I'm good.
You guys go without me.
- All right.
- Okay.
[GEARSHIFT CLICKS] Whoo-hoo! Ooh, hey, let's ask the haunted truck if I should have him.
- Shut up.
- Shh! What's that, haunted truck? "Kevin should drive me"? Did you hear it?