Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017) s01e03 Episode Script

Sweet Little Lies

1 KEVIN: My life was going pretty terrible.
I lost my job, had to move in with my sister and my niece.
And then, things got weird.
Do not be afraid.
Super weird.
YVETTE: In every generation, there are 36 righteous souls.
You are the last of the righteous.
Who are you talking to? She can't see me.
She's done a pretty good job convincing me she's real.
And now I have to do something I haven't had to do before Put others before myself, help people.
- What just happened? - That guy - Was wearing so much Drakkar Noir.
- [SCOFFS] I am the last guy you'd ever want to save the world, but I think I can figure it out Probably.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING] ["ONCE UPON A DREAM" PLAYS] I know you I walked with you once upon a dream I know you The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam - Yet I know it's true - [MUMBLING] I eat all the pies.
I know you do.
But if I know you I know what you'll do You'll love me at once The way you did - [GRUNTING] - Once upon a dream La, la, la, la La, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah But if I know you I know what you'll do You'll love me at once The way you did Marco! Once upon a dream [SPLAT] Razzmatazz.
- And I know it's true - [GIGGLES] That visions are seldom all they seem - [OWL HOOTS] - But if I know you I know what you'll do You'll love me at once - The way you did - [GROANS] Morning.
You sleep well? Mm-hmm.
Oh, I had the best dream.
I was floating around with a balloon.
I wouldn't do that.
[GASPS] MAN: Don't do it! - W-W-What the hell? - WOMAN: No, man! Please! You don't have to do this! Come down! Let's talk about it.
[CLEARS THROAT] So, question.
Go ahead.
- Am I still asleep? - No.
No, you are not.
- Breathe.
- Kevin?! Ohhh.
Hi! - We'll take Mr.
Finn from here.
- Take him where, exactly? AMY: Back home.
Thank you for your discretion, Mandy.
I'll make sure he gets there safely.
He's clearly unstable.
You want to just let him go? He says he was sleepwalking.
Up six flights of stairs? - Hey, I've done push-ups in my sleep.
- [SCOFFS] Come on, Mandy.
The freaks come out at night.
You called the police to handle this.
- This is me handling it.
Finn's never done anything like this before.
Cabrera is a respected faculty member.
She'd never do anything to bring trouble to this school.
Neither would her brother.
Right? Not intentionally, no.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] You know what? He's your problem.
I promise you this isn't - what it looks like, okay? - [SCOFFS] I was sleepwalking, but I am sorry that it happened at your work.
I don't care about that.
Kevin, when was the last time you talked to Dr.
Sloane? I know he's left you a few messages.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'll call him.
I'll call him to day.
Yeah, well, I want you to talk to someone here in town, okay? Dr.
Elizabeth Salentine.
She's a counselor here on campus.
She's a friend of mine, and I bet you that she will even be able to squeeze you in later today.
Well, uh, today Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm busy.
I'm very busy.
Plus, I don't really Kevin, this is This is really important to me, okay? I'm scared.
Okay, okay.
All right, I'll go.
For a price.
Can you find and purchase some pants for me? Well? I was asleep.
So, just to clarify, you watched me walk across town in my underwear, and you didn't wake me up? Didn't even occur to you? You can't just wake a sleepwalker.
Their heart could pop like a tick.
- Really? - No.
You're not great, you know that? We had to see where the balloon led you.
Well, ta-da! It led to therapy.
- Good! - [SCOFFS] Therapy is a healthy thing.
We all need someone to talk to.
[AIR HISSES] Is Is that your pants? I'd leave that out of the session.
[CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me.
I am looking for Pookie? I-I-I mean, I'm Pookie.
I mean, I'm Deb.
And Pookie.
Where did you find that? That's mine.
Um, it kind of found me.
Uh, it must've known I was gonna see you.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] Uh, I'm Kevin.
- Well, thank you, Kevin.
Can I help you? Yes.
Um Oh! Congratulations.
When's the big day? Uh, well, we actually had a quickie wedding a couple years ago, - but now we're making it real.
- Mm.
Kind of like a Vegas thing? No, actually A cancer thing.
I'm so sorry.
- I'm in remission.
- Oh.
And now Ben wants a big wedding cause, you know, bride's not gonna die.
[LAUGHING] Now I'm laughing about cancer, and that feels weird.
- Uh, lock it down, Kevin.
- Okay.
I seriously can't deal with wedding planning.
I mean, DJ or band? Cotton or linen tablecloths? Uh wine or liquor? Who cares? Jazz band, Pima cotton, signature cocktail.
Jazz band, Pima cotton, signature cocktails? Yeah.
Actually, yeah, that sounds perfect.
You're really good at this.
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
It was really nice meeting you.
You too.
[CHUCKLES] But now I have to go to the florist and pretend like I have an opinion about azaleas.
Uh, w uh, well, I know a lot about flowers, too.
Do I know about flowers? I do.
I know a ton about flowers, so I'm happy to help.
Aren't you here for an appointment? No.
No, I I was just here, uh, looking for literature on Chlamydia.
It's for a friend.
So, I don't want you to be worried, but sleepwalking is a pretty common thing.
- I Googled it.
- People sleepwalk across town? Well, that was probably a little less common, but the good news is is I got him to go to therapy.
He's actually at an appointment right now.
No, he's not.
Are you kidding me? - Hey, babe.
- Hey! - Sorry I'm late.
- Hey, what do you think about a cascading-dahlia display? It's probably close to $10,000, - but hear me out.
- Ooh! I-I want something simple.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
Who are you? Ooh, Ben, this is Kevin.
He's a little weird, but I kid you not, he's the damn Wedding Whisperer.
Is that so? - Peonies.
- Peonies? - Elaborate.
- Peonies will buy you all the "wow" Peonies will buy you all the "wow" factor that you're looking for.
- While being a sturdy flower - While being a sturdy flower - that will look flawless - that will look flawless - from walking down to the - from walking down to the - aisle to the bouquet toss.
- aisle to the bouquet toss.
[CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES] - He's good.
- Right? AMY: Who are those people? Maybe it's flower therapy? That's not a thing.
- [ENGINE STARTS] - Where are we going? Home to get your uncle the help that he needs.
[SNIFFS] - Hmm? - I mean, I like it, but Deb will say it looks like cilantro.
Cilantro makes her want to kill everyone.
[LAUGHS] You guys know each other really well.
Yeah, we grew up together Six doors down.
We were best friends.
Took cancer for me to admit that I'd been in love with her my whole life.
I don't know how I got so lucky.
Oh, yeah.
What about these? Oh.
Deb, carnations? Are you serious? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] Hey, Yvette! A-Ava? What are you doing here? Just thought I'd check in on my bud! Thought maybe we could hang.
Hang? Uh, I'm I'm kind of busy right now.
Of course.
Must be nice.
That your guy? Yep.
That's Kevin.
The shredded, hot guy? Uh, he looks righteous.
I can see why you'd want to keep him to yourself.
Mm no, the other one.
Yeah! [CHUCKLES] Yeah, I'm sure he'll pan out.
So, how are things? How How are things? Um, not good.
We're trying to save the world, and all I've got is Well, not that guy.
Don't complain.
At least you have a soul to protect.
You You know your mission here isn't over, right? You and the others still need to find out what happened to the other 35 righteous.
I guess you're right.
I I am right.
There's something or someone working against us out there.
36 souls don't just disappear like that.
You mean 35.
See, you found yours in time.
Maybe we should get everyone together Talk strategy.
I'll round up the troops.
Ahh, I needed this.
Planning a wedding for two good people? This is the reason I signed up for this job.
You didn't sign up.
AMY: Hey.
Uh, look who's here.
Hiya, Kevin.
Who is this? What's happening? My therapist.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] My therapist from New York, who is suddenly here, who I didn't expect.
Hello, Dr.
Stop talking weird.
Now I will stop talking weird.
[CLEARS THROAT] I was in Houston at a conference when I got the call.
Um I'm sorry.
What - What call, now? - From me.
I called him.
You wouldn't take the help that was offered, so I'm Bringing the help to you.
It's just that ambush therapy generally isn't productive.
Well, neither is skipping the therapy session that I set up for you.
- I was busy.
- You were at a flower shop.
Are you following me? - Calm down, Kevin.
- I'm calm! Okay, everyone's having strong emotions.
Let's step back.
My emotions are fine.
Your emotions led you to invading your brother's privacy, Amy.
Your intentions might've been good, but it's still a violation.
Thank you, Dr.
And your behavior has reportedly ranged from odd to alarming.
Standing on the edge of buildings? Sleepwalking Sleepwalking Onto the edge of buildings.
Which in and of itself could indicate a problem Anxiety, a reaction to meds, PTSD.
But it wasn't any of those things.
Kevin, you've been avoiding my calls, which is certainly within your rights, but please acknowledge you're neglecting your emotional health.
I'm I'm not neglecting my emotional health.
I've just been very busy, and Uh, ye actually, I-I've got to go.
W-Where? Where do you have to go? To help some friends out with - their signature cocktails.
- What friends? New friends, Amy! People make new friends.
Okay, but you Why are you helping them? Kevin, you can't answer that.
Walk away.
Because I tasted your birth control pills when we were 15! Do you Se This is exactly what I'm talking about! - God! - Kevin, what is going on? Bail.
Get out.
Leave! Dr.
Always a pleasure.
Amy, you're a nightmare person.
Can you please explain to me why I can't tell anyone who I am, who you are, or what I'm doing? You just can't.
I only told you because desperate times call for desperate measures.
The less you know, the better.
Well, what do I do? I can't keep blurting out stupid stuff to her.
- What? - Lie to bend the truth on a scale of "little white" to "bald-faced.
" Please, I worked on Wall Street.
I know what a lie is.
I'm just surprised that's something an angel would suggest.
I'm not an angel.
I believe in what's right, and if a lie is told for a just cause, then it's justified.
You are on a mission to bring balance to the universe.
If that isn't a good cause, I don't know what it is.
- I can't lie to Amy! - [SIGHS] That woman has known me every second of my life.
She can always tell.
Lying is a performance, like acting, a craft that typically takes years of study to perfect, but we don't have time for that nonsense, so crash course.
Now, a good performer needs proper motivation, and I'm gonna give you that motivation.
[THUNDER RUMBLES] [DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE] I'm gonna ask you a question, and I want you to lie, and I better believe it.
And what what if you don't believe it? You'll be struck by lightning.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
I get it.
You're lying to teach me.
Good one.
[THUNDER CRASHES] Why are you helping Deb and Ben plan their wedding? I mean I've always wanted to be a wedding planner.
You're not gonna You're not gonna do this, because it's your job to protect me.
Lots of people get struck by lightning and survive.
Why are you helping with their wedding, Kevin? Because Because I'm I've I've I've always thought of being a wedding planner.
[THUNDER CRASHES] Ohhhh! Mnh! I love weddings.
I want to be a wedding planner.
I have seen every episode of "Say Yes to the Dress"! Passable.
Thank you.
And also, you're insane.
I like your strategy of adding a kernel of truth to help sell it.
- What is "Say Yes to the Dress"? - Ohh! It's an awesome television program that I enjoy while I'm folding laundry.
It's kind of like a documentary.
Kind of exactly like a documentary.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] Is Ben coming? Deb? Um, where's Ben? Oh, he's on call tonight.
Well, he is missing out on some delicious signature cocktails.
First up, we have the Elderflower White Cosmopolitan, AKA "The Happily Elder After.
" Uh, so, this particular liqueur Uh, Deb.
Whoa, Deb! Sampling, remember? We're just - Mmm.
- sampling.
- Uh - What's in this one? - "The BFF" - Ah.
because you and Ben are best friends forever.
- Got it.
- So, you'll notice the apricot.
- Mm-hmm.
- But there's a little hint of jasmine and, uh, and whiskey.
There is a lot of whiskey in there Deb.
- Whew! - You okay? - Top-shelf.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
- Okay, which one's next? - Um Look.
It's It It's just jitters, okay? Everyone gets cold feet, even People who are already married.
Look, if this big-wedding stuff is too much, just say the word, and we'll call it off and do something simple.
What if we called off the marriage? [CHUCKLES] What? Uh, nothing.
That was a joke.
[CHUCKLES] That was not a joke.
You said it to the table.
No one tells jokes to tables.
Um Deb.
Come on.
I'm I'm I'm your damn Wedding Whisperer.
You know, you can tell me anything.
I don't want to be married anymore.
I was dying.
And then this great guy tells me he loves me, and he takes care of me, and I go with that, and it was amazing.
And then I got better.
But that's a good thing.
- I know! - Okay.
When we got married, "forever" was 6 to 12 months.
Now It's my whole life.
I don't know what to do.
Uh I think you need to tell Ben how you feel.
No, he's my best friend.
No, he deserves to be happy.
Yeah, but don't you? [EXHALES] I'm gonna throw up.
- And cry.
I'll be right back.
- O Kay.
I'm supposed to break up this marriage, aren't I? Yeah, that sounds like the universe I know.
I didn't sign up for this.
You didn't sign up.
Too much ginger in this one.
So, the hotel was okay? It was lovely.
I'm sure Kevin will be down any minute.
He's not much of an early bird.
Let him rest.
It'll give us a minute to talk.
[FLOORBOARDS CREAK] Oh! There he is now.
[CHUCKLES] He's gone.
Left hours ago.
- What? - Guess he is an early bird.
How you doing? I'm Clark.
Reese! Ah, to be young and dismissive.
I'm sorry.
She's A perfectly normal teenager.
You can relax, Amy.
I'm not here to shrink you.
[CHUCKLES] Actually, I don't think I'm gonna be shrinking anyone here today.
Look, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have tried to force it.
I overstepped.
No, you're a good sister, Amy.
Kevin's lucky to have you.
I don't know if that's true.
You shouldn't blame yourself.
I don't.
- [DOOR OPENS] - [SCOFFS] Why would you say that? Because when a person attempts suicide, it's common for those closest to him to ask themselves, "What did I miss? "Was there something I could've done?" You need to know, Amy, that Kevin is not your responsibility.
Everything isn't your responsibility.
You lost your husband to nothing more than the whim of fate.
It's okay to be a little selfish.
- Take care of yourself, Amy.
- Okay.
Thanks, Dr.
I'm sorry to waste your time.
Have a good trip home.
[SIGHS] Reese? What? I am gonna go into town and spy on Kevin.
Want to come? [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] [SIGHS] Working hard, K-Dog! [LAUGHS] - You need some brain food.
- Oh! - [SIGHS] - What's the project? Oh, it's a-a seating chart for a wedding.
Oh, my God! That's amazing, man! Mazel! No, no! Not my Not my wedding.
It's, uh Actually, it's a wedding that shouldn't even happen.
I got to I've got to break this couple up.
Might I suggest a crippling gambling addiction? Online poker ends relationships quick.
Tyler, I worry about you.
What are you talking about? My life's awesome.
Your life's garbage.
Don't forget to dump the grease traps.
Thanks for the reminder, Lucille! - Ah, hey, Kristin! - Hey.
- Sit here.
- What are you guys up to? Breaking up a wedding.
Want to help? - Uh - It's complicated.
Um, they're They're two lovely people who should be lovely apart, and I'm just trying to figure out how to help them get there.
Well, in my experience, you just have to sit down and talk and talk and talk until there's nothing left to do but hug and say goodbye.
My vote's still for gambling.
What about you, man? Well, I like to dump people before midterms.
Oh, come on.
That doesn't count.
[CHUCKLES] Well, were you, uh, were you seeing anyone in New York? Uh Well, ye uh, yeah, sort of.
Um - How'd it end? - Uh Well, it's It's a really long story.
Ooh, let me guess In uh, instead of talking, you ghosted and then came back home and moved in with your sister? [CHUCKLES] Um I guess it wasn't that long.
I got a Cake tasting to go to For a wedding that probably won't happen.
Um, but I will see you guys.
See you later.
Kevin! [CHUCKLES] Dr.
I'm on the hunt for pancakes.
You want to join me? Uh Listen, I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you.
No need to apologize.
It was a mistake coming here But an honest one.
I like you, Kevin.
I want to see you do well.
And I am.
I'm doing really well, and I-I-I-I want to talk to you about what's going on.
So do it.
Talk to me.
[THUNDER RUMBLES] Um You know what I-I I can't tell you, but I think I can show you.
Come on.
Well, at least he's talking to Dr.
Better than talking to himself.
He does that? Do you live in our house? [BELLS JINGLE] Hey! Glad you came.
Hey, can you explain fondant? I mean, it's pretty and all, but I think we're a buttercream family.
Who's this? Oh, this is Dr.
Sloane, my therapist.
What do you think about fondant? Can you read lips? It's weird you're into this.
What are you guys doing? God! Nate! - What's going on in there? - Spying on Kevin.
We're not spying.
Well, you're too exposed here.
Better cover at that window.
Well, now we're talking.
[CHUCKLES] Honesty is the foundation of any relationship.
Uh, I learned that little gem from Dr.
Or TV.
I don't remember.
But the point is I think you have to tell Ben the truth.
The The truth? The shrink saw me.
The shrink spotted me.
Told you not to get in their eyeline.
We got to go.
We got to go! Let's go.
Go, go, go.
Uh, w-what's he talking about, Pook? I want fondant.
[CHUCKLES] I'm sorry.
I know it doesn't taste as good.
Deb, uh, if you don't tell him, then I will.
It's not a good idea to force a confession, Kevin.
- I know, but I think - What the hell's going on here? Ben.
I love you so much.
But But what? I'm having an affair with Kevin.
What? Wait [MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS] [MUSIC CONTINUES] [INDISTINCT VOICES WHISPERING] Aah! Kevin, w-what the hell are you doing? Helping? The coldest thing they had.
Oh, thank you.
Kevin, maybe I'm missing something, but how in the hell is wrecking a marriage and getting punched in the face supposed to be helping? I wish I could say.
But you can't.
I get it.
I get it.
And And it's clear you don't want my help, so I'm heading home.
Call me when you're ready to talk.
Sloane, I'm sorry.
You know You know what? Can I say something as As someone who cares about you? In the limited time I've spent here, one thing has become clear to me.
Your sister is great.
She drives me nuts, but she's the best.
Remember that.
Because she had plenty on her plate before you dropped in with your problems.
You really think it's fair to make Amy deal with all this chaos? I will I'll keep that in mind.
You do that.
And when you're ready Hmm? [PANTING] Focused today.
I like it.
You training for spy school? Slow down.
Slow down.
I have shin splints.
That spy thing That wasn't me.
So, you went Mama Bear on Kevin.
I understand.
He's lucky to have a sister like you.
Yeah, I keep hearing what a great sister I am.
It's not true.
Look, I don't think you know all of the reasons that Kevin came back home.
I just figured things didn't work out in the city.
Back in New York, Kevin was going through some pretty heavy stuff.
How heavy? He tried to commit suicide.
I'm I'm so sorry.
[VOICE BREAKING] Well, the thing is, um He called me Before he did it.
[EXHALES SHAKILY] He called me, and I saw his number on the phone, and I, um I didn't answer.
I was mad at him.
Kevin only ever called if he needed something.
And he did need something.
And I wasn't there for him.
I haven't been spying on your brother, but from what I can see, he's trying to move on.
You should, too.
- Look, I don't want - I won't say a word.
Okay, thanks.
They were wearing masks? Yeah, big big red ones.
And there was a mariachi band? - Now, that's a curveball.
- Mm-hmm.
But we're getting closer.
Somehow, these visions are a roadmap to find the righteous.
- Good job.
- [SCOFFS] Good job? I wrecked a marriage and destroyed a lifelong friendship.
Which is exactly what you were supposed to do.
Now, I know it's difficult, but if the universe is happy, we should move on.
E-Excuse me? Ben and Deb deserve a happy ending.
The universe doesn't care about happy endings.
Well I do.
Wha [SCOFFS] Oh! Hey.
Um I'm heading out, so don't wait for me to start dinner.
I'm not sure what time I'll I'll be back.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Um I talked to Dr.
Sloane today.
Yeah? How did it go? Uh, okay.
I mean, not great.
It was Kind of terrible.
He's leaving town.
I'm sorry for springing him on you like that.
Well, hey If you didn't overstep your boundaries, then how would I know you even care? His visit did did help me, uh, realize a few things.
Um First of all You are such a good s Kevin, I swear to God, if you say that I'm a good sister, I-I may start screaming, and I may never stop.
Okay, I ju I just was gonna say you're a good Softball Player 'cause you play a mean game of of softball.
Um Look, I know you think that I'm not telling you something, and You're right.
You're right.
But it's kind of It's kind of big.
Um [INHALES SHARPLY] Just before everything, uh, fell apart in New York, um, I bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend, and she said no.
And it was It was embarrassing, and I felt like an idiot.
- Like a blind idiot.
- Kevin.
But But helping these people is kind of helping me process what happened.
And I know that sounds crazy, but It's the truth.
Well thank you for telling me.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] And good luck with that.
Oh, and, Aim, for what it's worth, you really are a great softball player.
[CHUCKLES] Get out of here.
[DOOR OPENS] Kevin, that's terrible.
I'm so sorry.
Uh, it wasn't true.
Excuse me? That whole story was a-a lie.
I just needed the right motivation.
Well, it was almost like something that happened.
[TRUCK DOOR OPENS] [CRICKETS CHIRPING] So, this is where you got engaged? How'd you know that? Uh, Ben told me.
He said you liked to come up here to clear your head, and he surprised you.
Surprise! What do you want, Kevin? Uh Why did you lie to Ben? I'm sorry you got punched.
But you put me on the spot.
That's my fault.
If I had just told him that I didn't love him, he would never accept that.
He'd spend the rest of his life trying to win me back.
But now he hates my guts, so he can move on with his life and forget about me.
Is that what you want? Is that what you want, Deb? For me to forget about you? [SIGHS] No.
You're my best friend.
But I'm not in love with you.
Well, if I'm your best friend, why couldn't you just tell me the truth? Because I know you.
Tell me I'm wrong.
I just I can't believe I thought you'd cheat on me with this guy.
It's funny.
He's not even close to my type.
- Well, I don't know about - It's not like you're out of shape, but - you're not exactly in shape, either.
- All right.
You kind of got that quirky/cute thing going on.
- Thanks, Ben.
- I'd definitely say - more quirky than cute.
- Got it! [SIGHS] I-I don't expect you to forgive me, but I was thinking of you.
We'll figure it out.
It's gonna take some time.
[SNIFFLES] Can we have a little privacy? Huh? Oh.
[THUD] Aaaaaaah! I'm okay! We'll get some help! I like you better when you're asleep.
This is a really sweet setup you've got here.
It's not mine.
I could see myself sitting out here in a blanket with some tea and a nice book.
If I brew or drank tea.
Or read books.
Or used blankets.
Where is everyone? Did you tell them the right time? I did.
They're not coming.
What do you mean? What There isn't gonna be a meeting? They're not really feeling the mission anymore.
So The two of us are just supposed to find out what happened to the other 35 by ourselves? [SIGHING] Yeah.
Thing is, I think I might be done, too.
Ava! Why?! We We still have a job to do.
Not anymore.
We failed! That's not true.
We still have hope.
We still have Kevin.
You have Kevin.
The rest of us have no one.
That's not true.
We still have each other.
Where have you been? - I've been looking all over for you.
- Right here.
Well, dinner's ready.
Have you seen Kevin? Uh, nope.
Come on.
I'm really proud of you.
You went above and beyond for two people you barely know.
That, my friend, is growth.
I'm trying to be nice to you, and you're ruining it.
Why aren't you happy? Amy.
I'll just I'll have to keep lying to her, and, I mean, I get why that is, and I'll do it, but it's never gonna feel right.
And there isn't really anything you can say to change that.
Because that's a sign of growth, too.
Your pie, sir.
Sweet shiner, by the way.
Oof! That have anything to do with the marriage you were gonna torpedo? Uh it's a souvenir.
- Oh.
- [CHUCKLES] You got off lucky.
You ever been punched in the butt? - Like, hard.
- No.
Uh, I'm glad that you're you're here.
I, uh, wanted to talk to you about this morning.
I'm I'm so sorry for that joke I made about your girlfriend in New York, - and I just feel so - Oh! No.
I-I completely see how that could be, uh Seen as a likely scenario.
[CHUCKLES] Um But But The truth is, I didn't come home because of a of a breakup.
I, uh Back in New York, I was in a A really dark place, and, uh So I I got incredibly drunk And that didn't make me feel Better.
[CHUCKLES] And I-I decided that I just Wanted it to end.
But the The thing I found out about feeling that way is that, um it always passes.
Or it it it It it did for me.
And Like, I feel good.
[CHUCKLES] And now I'm back home, with my family and And And with you guys, [CHUCKLING] and that's awesome.
Thank you for telling us that.
It's I I can't even imagine how hard that must've been for you.
Um Actually, it was harder trying to lie about it.
I have a vestigial tail.
Hm? What? I thought we were, like, going around the table, making confessions, and - Uh - I-I, uh, um I sometimes sneak outside food into movie theaters.
Yeah, I I sometimes talk about myself in the third person.
Okay, well, that's not bad.
That's No, no, no, no, but when I do, I call myself "Lil Kevvy.
" [LAUGHTER] - Oh, I still suck my thumb sometimes.
- Oh