Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

1 KEVIN: My life was going pretty terrible.
I lost my job, had to move in with my sister and my niece.
And then, things got weird.
I wouldn't do that.
Super weird.
- Am I still asleep? - No.
In every generation, there are 36 righteous souls.
You are the last of the righteous.
You are on a mission to bring balance to the Universe.
- Who are you talking to? - She can't see me.
She's done a pretty good job convincing me she's real.
You don't make protecting you easy.
And now I have to do something I haven't had to do before Put others before myself, help people.
I am the last guy you'd ever want to save the world, but I think I can figure it out Probably.
Did that meteor give you superpowers? Did it? Uh, superpowers? That's What's so Why would you even ask that? Because I've seen weird stuff.
Reese, you have That's not [STAMMERS.]
Reese, that is the craziest thing that I have ever heard.
Do I have superpowers? First of all, if I did have superpowers, do you think I would be keeping it a secret? REESE: I knew he wouldn't give me a straight answer.
kind of hurts my feelings 'cause - I've always wanted superpowers - But that's fine.
He already told me everything I need to know.
trying to, like, live in the world with normal powers, not even I don't even have normal powers.
The more he talks like a crazy person medium-regular-guy type of thing the more I know I'm closer to the truth.
because if you're not hydrated, then you can start to see things Something happened the night the meteor fell.
There was a guy who thought he had superpowers 'cause he was on drugs, and he jumped off a cliff.
And I have a theory.
- - It's the classic origin story.
Meteor falls to Earth I wouldn't touch it! - normal idiot touches it.
- [KEVIN SCREAMS.]
Idiot acts weird, heads home, goes to sleep, and then the changes begin.
[WHIRRING.]
Idiot will never be the same again.
Eating breakfast, eating breakfast [CLICKS TONGUE.]
But what kind of powers does he have? I've already seen a couple.
- [TIRES SCREECH.]
- [GRUNTS.]
He might be immortal.
He can definitely float in thin air.
Goes right in my tummy But is that all, or are there more powers I haven't seen yet? Maybe he can move things with his mind.
Tastes so good Hey! Why? I thought you'd stop it.
How? You wasted all of my favorite cereal.
The meteor did something to him and I'm gonna find out what it is.
[CELLPHONE RINGTONE.]
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Nope.
Hey.
I have certified mail for Kevin Finn.
I can take it for him.
Hey.
[CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES.]
Morning.
You taking Reese to school or what? She'll be late.
Uh, no.
She's off Teacher conference day.
Are you sad because my parents used to dress us alike? Because I have about 15 years of photos that will make you weep.
You were darling Both of you.
We still are.
Time passes so quickly here.
And none of you realize it until it's It's too late.
In a blink of an eye, it's over.
These two babies will never exist again.
Hey, are you okay? [SIGHS.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- REESE: Kevin, you in there? Yeah.
One second.
- Hey, Reese.
- Hi.
You look tired.
Oh.
Um, I'm not.
Hmm.
Must just be your face.
You knocked, right? Here, this just came for you.
Oh.
So, what is it? It is my last severance check from work.
It's just in time The well was running dry.
Now it's sushi for breakfast every day.
Is that a joke? I guess not.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Can I ask you a question? It's kind of important.
[BELL RINGS.]
As you can see from the quiz scores, Reese She really started out the term strong.
AMY: That's great.
Every time I ask her how she's doing in school, all I get is "good.
" Eh.
Well, you know Reese.
She does not like to be the center of attention.
No.
[CHUCKLES.]
I Actually, I-I found the place that she expresses herself the best.
It's It's in her writing.
Oh, yeah, I know.
She's always writing in that diary of hers.
Oh.
Sorry.
She gets mad when I call it that.
Her journal.
Well, that's actually It's kind of why I'm excited to see how she does with this next assignment.
The students will follow and interview someone they admire, and then write their history.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
We're trying to teach them how, oftentimes, history is shaped by the historian, you know? Well, some of my work is classified, but I still have some great stuff for her to write about.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh.
Uh Reese Reese said she was gonna ask Kevin.
Kevin? Oh! [CHUCKLES.]
Great.
Gr Great.
- Kevin.
[LAUGHS.]
- Right? She That's great.
Huh.
Well, I'm sure he'll be thrilled.
- No.
Absolutely not.
- Come on! Please? You're not doing a report on my life.
Write about your mother.
I already know everything about her.
That's boring.
Please.
Your mom is so cool.
Did you know she got all A's until the 11th grade, which, as I say it, doesn't sound cool, but you just need to trust me.
- No, I don't.
- Well, the answer is no, okay? Definitely no, infinity no.
Okay? Now, I got to run, because I'm late now to do the Things that I do.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Reese is gonna be a problem.
[SIGHS.]
I can't lie my way out of what she's seen, so what should I do? She wants to grow up so badly.
Help her appreciate her childhood while she still has it.
Why are you so sad? Are you still homesick? Look, I'm not used to dealing with all this human emotion.
I mean, sadness, fear, regret.
It's this place.
Mm.
It's overwhelming.
Can I do anything to help? No.
Focus on your job.
I just I just need to find my inner peace.
I know it's in there somewhere.
[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Mm.
There.
Better.
- [ELECTRONIC BEEPING.]
- Oh.
Easy.
29 large is giving me so much inner peace right now.
Get out a sweet hundo for myself.
[MACHINE WHIRRING.]
Um What is it? $12 and a coupon for lip balm? [WHIRRING.]
- - No! Come on! I want my money! [CLICKS TONGUE.]
The Universe thinks you need lip balm.
Let's get some.
But money.
[SIGHS.]
I'm not sure what to do.
Do I just, like Buy $12 worth of these? Hey, um Quick work-related question Are your lips dry? RICK: Ugh.
I left my wallet at home.
I might have cash in the car.
- Uh, how much is it? - $13.
46.
- [TAPS COUNTER.]
- I'm gonna have to run home.
Uh, you know what? I Here, I'll get it.
[LAUGHS.]
- What? - Yeah.
No, uh, you don't have to do that.
That's fine.
No, no, it's all good.
I even got a coupon.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [REGISTER BEEPS.]
- CASHIER: $12 even.
Thank you.
That's so nice.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [REGISTER OPENS.]
You're welcome.
Uh, enjoy your moist lips.
And your, uh, turkey jerky.
[LAUGHS.]
I will.
- Thanks again.
- Mmhmm.
You want your receipt? Oh.
Uh ah, sure.
Thanks.
Okay, we're done.
It's easy.
I'm pretty sure there's more to do.
Oh.
I have a bad feeling about this.
- What? - Where this is going.
The Universe is gonna make me give away all my money.
I can feel it.
And why is that bad? Because it's my money.
Kevin, money is just paper.
- It's worthless.
- Actually, that's not true.
Um, it has a specific worth written right on the bill.
Worthless, unless you're using it to spread joy.
When you were an investment banker, you hoarded money, you worshiped it.
How did it make you feel? Fine.
Rich.
Alone.
Let's make up for that.
This is the perfect time for a lesson about the incredible rewards you reap by simply being generous to others.
Fine.
Let's Let's be generous.
Let's just do it.
Yes.
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING.]
- What? - I'm doing it.
Popsicle stick? I love it when you talk to me - Hey - My cash machine - Hey - My cash machine Does anybody like free ice cream? - [CHEERING.]
- I love it when you talk to me - Hey - My cash machine - Hey - My cash machine Since that check came in Don't you know I got that bag? I got that bag And best believe my mama's straight My mama's straight I ain't taking about no broke business I got money now All I really understand is Since that check came in Everybody's talkin' like I'm really actin' funny now That don't matter, all I hear is Since that check came in I love it when you talk to me - Hey - My cash machine - Hey - My cash machine I love it when you talk to me - Hey - My cash machine - Hey - My cash machine - Since that check came in - [BEEPING.]
KEVIN: Free burritos.
Come get 'em.
- Ooh, ooh - Enjoy.
[BEEPS.]
Is that a prescription? Can you read that? Hi.
Just need to fill uh, that whatever that writing says right there For a loved one.
Okay.
Uh, can I see your insurance card? Oh, I-I don't have insurance.
Oh, that's no problem.
- It'll just be a moment.
- All right.
How do you feel? [GIGGLES.]
Broke.
Aw, come on! Deep down in your gut, how does it feel to make those people happy? - Honestly? - Yeah.
- It's pretty amazing.
- [LAUGHS.]
I know! I know! [LAUGHS.]
So, uh what's my reward? Reward? Yeah.
You said, um, there would be "incredible rewards" once I gave all my money away.
Remember? Uh, yeah.
This.
This is the reward the way you're feeling right now.
- Right.
- Right.
- Oh! - [LAUGHS.]
Good.
Good.
Right.
You thought the reward was - getting all your money back.
- I did.
Kind of.
Yeah.
Kevin think about all the good you did today.
Kindness is infectious.
Now, the people you help will be much more inclined to help someone else.
Nifty.
PHARMACIST: Sir.
Uh, without insurance, your total is $540.
Of course it is.
That's all my money.
[REGISTER BEEPS.]
Insulin.
Maxwell Owens.
Uh, hey! Sorry.
Uh Uh, we just moved.
Do you have the, uh, address on file? 801 Creek Lane.
801 Creek Lane.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hi.
Is, uh Is Maxwell home? I-I'm Max.
Oh, good.
Um, this is for you.
Who are you? - Uh I - Hi.
- Hi.
- Can I help you? He brought me my insulin.
What? [BAG RUSTLES.]
Max, go inside.
- What the hell is this about? - Um, nothing.
I'm just a Just a friend, kind of.
You're a grown man giving drugs to a teenage boy.
What? Ew.
No.
That sounds gross when - you say it like that.
- Okay, I don't know what you're up to, - but I want nothing to do with it.
- [BAG RUSTLES.]
Okay.
But still here.
- No.
- Well - You you have to take it.
- No, I don't have to do anything.
- I'm just trying to help.
- We don't want your help.
But I Reese, come on! You're gonna be late for school.
What kind of mother turns down medication for her son? [SIGHS.]
A good one? She's not wrong.
I am a total stranger offering her kid drugs.
Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.
I'm I'm feeling I don't know what this is.
Frustrated.
I'm feeling frustrated.
- Mm.
- It's very unpleasant.
Yeah.
That's pretty much my baseline.
How are you supposed to help someone when they won't accept it? Some people are too proud to admit they need help, that They think it means they're weak.
I get that.
I've done that.
I don't get it.
Look It's a setback.
But we just have to figure out another way - to get the medicine to him.
- No.
Forget it.
We're not spending any more time on this.
- Mnh-mnh.
- [SCOFFS.]
Okay, I know that you You're new to feelings and everything, but But this is clearly your emotions talking.
- I want them to shut up.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Well, you could try to do what I do and stuff it all down into a dark, terrible place and deal with it in therapy later.
It's great advice.
That is great advice.
Hey! Hi.
Ready for school? Let's go.
Okay.
[TRUCK DOORS OPENING.]
What is this? Oh, that's Just some medicine I had to pick up for a friend.
You know Max Owens? Do you know him? I know who he is.
He goes to my school.
Oh, my God.
That is great.
Would you give that to him for me? [ENGINE STARTS.]
No.
- Why? Because.
No.
It's weird.
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
Okay.
I will you let you do your report on me.
Seriously? Yes.
You can interview me, ask me anything, as long as you get that medicine to Max.
I mean, I [SIGHS.]
I don't even know him.
So? You don't have to make out with the guy.
- Shut up.
- Reese.
Think about all of the amazing, interesting things I have to tell you about my life So many secrets to share.
- Fine.
- Great.
I'm interviewing you tonight.
I'm unavailable, actually, ton Ow.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[BELL RINGS.]
Max? - Yeah? - Hi.
Um sorry.
Um, Kevin, my uncle, wanted me to give this to you.
So That guy was your uncle? Yeah.
And why did he do that? I don't know.
He sometimes does weird, nice things.
Well, I-I could use a refill.
Tell your uncle I said thanks.
Hey, Max.
Let's go.
MAX: Yeah, I'll be right there.
All right.
We got it.
The grant for large-scale invisibility optics We got it Full funding! - Amazing.
- I know! I can make an airplane disappear, yet Reese still chooses Kevin.
Not at all following what you're saying.
I'm sorry.
It's stupid.
Reese has this project, and instead of doing it about me, she chose Kevin Mr.
Fun Time Who basically just eats yogurt all day long.
I thought you liked having your brother around.
I do.
I love him.
It's just, you know, this is the story of my life, okay? I do all of the hard work, and then Kevin swoops in and everybody loves him.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
You're really fun.
I mean, I can't come up with a specific right now, but generally speaking, you are fun.
I know that.
Yeah.
I just need to remind Reese that I am not all work, no play.
I'm the perfect one-to-one work-play ratio.
Just don't remind her like that.
Okay.
Okay.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
REESE: Hello? Mom? Kevin? [INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Hello? Reese! We're camping! Are you surprised? Yeah.
We haven't gone camping in the yard since I was like 10.
I know.
I know! I've missed it, too.
[CHUCKLES.]
I have, like, tons of biology homework tonight.
That's perfect Biology under the stars.
Come on.
It'll be fun.
Just you and me, just us girls, no pesky distractions.
I found your old sleeping bag.
Come on! - See, isn't this fun? - Mm-hmm.
Everyone thinks that Kevin's the fun twin, but I know fun Big time.
Mom, did I do something wrong? What? No.
Why? You're just not acting like you.
[TENT RUSTLES, UNZIPS.]
Are we camping? - Yeah, but it's - I love camping! Incoming! [GRUNTS.]
I brought all those, um, floor marshmallows.
- You want one? - No.
You? More for me.
Did you know that I once fit 40 of these in my mouth at once? You can put that in your report.
Actually, don't, because I think I could beat it tonight.
[LAUGHS.]
[MUFFLED.]
I got a bigger mouth now than I did.
You've always had a pretty big mouth.
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your ears [DEEP VOICE.]
Hang [DEEPER VOICE.]
Low? Camping is so fun.
Reese, did you know that we used to come out here with our mom and dad? And it was a real dumb idea, because I don't know if you knew this But there was a serial killer in this town? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I remember this.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it was very scary, 'cause he would wander around, maiming innocent victims with a rake.
No.
No serial killers use rakes.
It was a sharp Sharp rake.
It was as sharp as an Axe! It was an Axe.
And he would sneak up Aah! Reese, he's right behind you! Reese! Come on.
Are you made of wood? You know what we need? We need s'mores.
Come on.
Who doesn't love a s'more? [LAUGHS.]
I'm on it.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Why haven't you done it yet? - What are you talking about? - Give the medicine to Max.
I did.
Really? Huh.
You better not be trying to get out of our interview.
I'm not.
It's just, I I thought that was the last thing.
I must have more work to do.
How'd the handoff go? I don't know.
Weird.
All of his friends were around.
Oh.
Were they jerks? No.
But they were just staring at me, like [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Like, "Who is this random girl?" Is everything okay at school? Yeah.
It's fine.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I want you to tell me what's going on, Reese, so I'm gonna start shoving this marshmallow into my nostril until you talk.
Go ahead.
Do it.
I will do it.
I wish there was another way.
- Oh.
Look.
- You're disgusting.
Are you gonna tell me what's going on? - Stop! - There's only one way to stop If you tell me tell me what's going on! [LAUGHING.]
Stop! [SNORTS, COUGHS.]
Ugh! Okay.
When my dad died, everyone kept asking how I was doing.
I just didn't want to talk about it all the time.
That's understandable.
Except then I was the girl who didn't want to talk to anybody.
And is that true? Sometimes.
Sometimes, I don't want to be alone.
Who wants a s'more? Mom, I'm sorry.
I really have to finish this.
Okay.
I'll have s'mores with you.
Thanks.
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
What's all this? I forgot about this 401k that I had.
I can cash it out, with a penalty.
Why? Well, I figured, once Max got his medicine, this would be over, but still no vision.
So, I think I'm supposed to give away more money.
Kevin! Plus, I have some stocks I can sell.
You have grown so much.
It's just money.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
Okay.
Oh! Oh, I hate these emotions.
Every Everything is just right at the surface, but I love that you're doing this.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
You stay away from my son, and you stay away from me! I don't understand why you won't take help for you son.
You know, you think you're a hero because you bought one month's worth of insulin for Max? What about next month? What about next year? Fine! I'll I'll buy it as long as you need me to.
You know, I don't need your charity.
You're just being stubborn.
I work three jobs to take care of Max, and I'm still almost $30,000 in debt.
And no matter how hard I try to - crawl back, it just gets worse.
- Wait.
$30,000? That was basically the amount of my severance check.
Oh.
Well, lucky you.
Have fun spending it.
I already did.
Wait, look, look, look, look I'm truly, truly sorry.
I-I I was just trying to be nice.
- I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
It's not your fault.
I, um I guess I just needed an outlet for all my anger.
Well, I'm Just so you know, I'm always happy to get yelled at, so you can vent away.
I'm Kevin, also, by the way.
Emily.
I'm sorry.
It's just all getting a little overwhelming.
My deadbeat ex took our son off of his health insurance as revenge because Max wanted to live with me.
And I lost my insurance when I changed jobs, so I just keep opening up credit cards.
And now you can't climb out of the hole.
I don't care if I'm a million dollars in debt.
I'd do anything for that kid.
And I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but Jason hasn't paid a penny in child support, either.
His own son? Mm.
That's evil.
He Doesn't sound great.
That is a nice way to put it.
Tell her she'll get her money back.
Um How? - What? - [CLEARS THROAT.]
What? Just tell her.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Okay.
Just breathe.
Are you having a stroke? - Forget it! I know what to do.
- Ah Ah No.
I have to go.
Um We'll I'm We'll keep in touch.
Thank you for Yes, I'm fine.
I'm just There's, uh um [STAMMERING.]
I'm gonna figure some things out.
Walnut Apple Crumble for the lady, and for the constable Pudding with a spoon.
- [LAUGHTER.]
Thank you.
- Thanks.
[SIGHS.]
So, I camped out with Kevin last night.
Mm! Roughing it.
Yeah.
And at first, I was pretty mad at him, but, I don't know, ended up having fun.
What'd he do now? Nothing.
I was just blaming him for something that wasn't his fault.
I was frustrated that I cannot keep up with Reese's moods.
I mean, one minute we're best friends, and the next, she's kicking me to the curb.
Sounds about right.
Think of yourself when you were a teenager.
I was perfect.
- I hung out with my mom all the time.
- [SCOFFS.]
All right.
Well, think of any other teenager in the entire world.
I mean, they're complete irrational jerks for like eight years.
Just got to weather the storm.
No.
No.
I do not wait for problems to solve themselves.
Oh.
I just need to figure out a way to get into her head, you know, get some common ground.
I wish I could see into her brain.
- Uh, no, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.
Look, I don't need her to tell me everything, but Just basically everything? [LAUGHS.]
Hmm.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What's happening here? I can't try your dessert? No.
You can't just have my pudding.
- That's gross.
- Why? Pudding is basically cold soup.
I mean, would you eat somebody else's soup? [LAUGHS.]
Sure? All right.
Fine.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Have a taste.
- Okay.
- I can't watch this.
[LAUGHS.]
Looks like her ex-husband lives her.
Ooh.
Are you feeling all right? Got a little fired up for a moment, but I'm good.
You know, I never understood road rage Calm one minute, insane the next.
Now I get it.
Except you weren't driving, so it was just rage rage.
Well, it passed.
Regardless, I think her ex-husband is the key to this.
Be kind.
Maybe he'll be kind, too.
Hey, are you Jason Owens? Why? I-I-I wanted to talk to you about Max and Emily.
[SCOFFS.]
What's she whining about now? She's She's not.
She just needs your help.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- But I don't want to help.
[SCOFFS.]
Hey, come on, man.
I mean, we're all in this together.
No, we're not.
Tell Emily if she can't afford the medicine, then maybe she shouldn't have had a sick kid.
[KEYS JOSTLE.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
What the hell are you doing? I am not sure.
Make a fist.
- Uh, I don't really - Make a fist, now.
Like this? Whoa! What are d I am so sorry! I'm Can we talk about this? Aren't we supposed to talk about things like this? Enough talking! Aah! Ow! Okay.
All right.
[GRUNTING.]
- I'm so sorry! - Mnh-mnh! [YELLS.]
Ow! [GRUNTING.]
I I really don't want to be doing this, but I am, and I can't stop! I'm sorry! [BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Kevin? [SIGHS.]
Kevin, will you please say something? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Mm! - Kevin.
Why are you even asking? If I'm your little puppet, why don't you just make me talk to you? I'm sorry.
I-I saw red, and I couldn't control myself.
So you controlled me instead? Not cool.
I've never done anything like that in my life, and I've had a very, very long life.
I'm truly sorry.
- [DOORBELL RINGS.]
- Do I have to keep worrying about you flying off the handle now? I don't know.
Kevin? Hi.
I, um I brought you some of your child support.
What? I thought you were just being crazy.
I-Is there blood on this check? [SCOFFS.]
Should I ask? No.
Uh, look, I know this doesn't even come close to solving your problems, - but I am not giving up, okay? - Okay.
Okay.
I, uh I've never met anyone like you.
Everything in my life seemed dark and hopeless, and now I see a tiny light.
You mean me.
I'm I'm the light? - Yes.
- Okay.
Just, uh, making sure.
- She means me.
- Oh, Gosh.
One milkshake.
Enjoy.
I ordered a turkey wrap.
Yeah, I know.
But you need a milkshake.
I can tell.
[WHISPERS.]
It's my superpower.
What's got you down? I'm writing a school paper about Kevin.
Oh, finally.
My boy's getting some ink.
Can I read it? I mean, there's not much to read.
Said he was "busy" today.
So far, I know he can stuff a bunch of marshmallows in his mouth.
Oh.
How many? It's not important.
Maybe I could ask you some questions about Kevin.
Ah, I don't know.
I was kind of saving for his Wikipedia page.
But you're family, so shoot.
Okay.
Do you have any idea why Kevin would fill a stranger's prescription for them? Hmm.
Not sure.
Kevin's always been pretty giving.
I remember, back in high school, we had a teacher who got hurt in this car accident, and he put together this whole fundraiser for her This big thing.
Wow.
I didn't know Kevin was like that when he was younger.
Oh, yeah.
He got the Engineering to volunteer at this, uh This Hold up.
[LAUGHS.]
Hold the phone.
Aw, man.
Yep.
That wasn't Kevin.
That was Amy.
Amy? - Yeah.
- My mom? Yeah.
All that stuff that I said before that was Amy.
In my defense, their mom used to dress them alike all the time.
It was this creepy twin thing.
I think you mom might actually be my best friend.
My mom did that? Yeah.
She was great.
You should write a paper on her, too Like a, uh, companion piece.
I think I have enough information.
Thanks, Tyler.
Oh, hey.
Is it cool if I finish your shake? Okay.
Oh.
Hey.
Hi.
Sorry.
What's your name again? Reese.
Cabrera.
Reese Cabrera.
Right.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, my mom said, at first, she thought your uncle was a huge creep.
But it turns out, he's actually a good guy.
He grows on you.
Uh, hey, a-a couple of us are gonna go see a movie tomorrow.
You want to come? I don't know.
Um Okay.
I'll come.
Cool.
Uh, we're gonna meet there at about 5:00.
Okay.
- Bye.
- See you.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
I've got a hot take Kindness is dumb.
If I hadn't tossed away all my money to random people, I'd have 30 grand Exactly what Emily owes.
I could've helped her get back on her feet.
But instead, I failed.
You? I can't even control my emotions enough to keep you safe.
That's my only job.
[SIGHS.]
Well, at least we can be failures together.
Hey, lip balm guy.
It's you.
Yeah, I saw you over here mumbling to yourself, and I didn't know if I should, uh - Oh.
- interrupt.
[LAUGHS.]
- Yeah.
- I just had to stop and thank you again - for what you did the other day.
- Oh.
It was nothing.
Made me smile for the rest of the day.
You know, if more people did stuff like that, the world would be a better place.
Well, we can dream, I guess.
Well, if there's anything I can ever do for you, just give me a yell, or at least let me buy you a beer.
- - [CELLPHONE RINGTONE.]
Hallelujah Sorry.
I thought I had that on vibrate.
"Rick Thomas, Attorney at Law.
" Yeah.
Two first names.
It's tough to get a judge to take me seriously.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Uh, you take care.
"Specializing in medical insurance litigation and claim denials.
" Mm-hmm.
I have a friend who might want to join us for that beer.
Great.
Right? Okay.
Yeah.
[AMY SCOFFS.]
When did you stop being my little girl? [SIGHS.]
Sure.
Kevin's a superhero.
What? Mom, you home? AMY: In my room.
I wanted to talk to you.
I was wondering if I could do my history project on you.
I only asked Kevin because I just wanted to figure out what he was up to.
Oh, I think we both know what Kevin's been up to.
That's my journal.
When exactly were you gonna tell me that you've been arrested? Okay, well, retroactive coverage should be easy.
And any bills that aren't paid immediately we can appeal.
That is incredible.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All I did was buy some lip balm.
- I want you to take a look - [CHUCKLES.]
I'm gonna use your bathroom.
[GRUNTS.]
Hello? Can anyone tell me where I am? [TIGER GROWLING.]
Please don't be there anymore.
Please don't be there any Oh.
[GROWLS.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
EMILY: Kevin? You all right? Emily? Yeah.
You've been in there a while.
Do you need some Pepto? I'm okay.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I'm okay.
Everything Oh.
Everything is, apparently, fine.
Your friend is a miracle worker And so are you.
I can't believe it.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[CHUCKLES.]
You're more than just a tiny light.
You're a medium-sized light, at least.
- Now, you're going too far.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Did you need to - He's No, no.
It's fine.
You just How long was I in there? A long time.
[BIRD CHIRPING.]
- Come on, be happy.
We won.
- I am happy.
And I'm exhausted.
It's making me insane to go from sadness to rage to happiness to God - knows what next.
Whew! - Most people go through that before lunch every day.
That's life Highs and lows.
How does anyone get anything done with all this stuff running through you? [SCOFFS.]
Well, most of life is spent in between, so you just remember that, when you're down, that's temporary.
And when you're up, that's also temporary.
And then, when you're down again So, you You saw a tiger? No.
I was chased by a tiger through a jungle.
What do you think that has to do with the other things you've seen Butterflies, canoes, a mariachi band? [SIGHS.]
Well, I don't think the Universe is trying to tell me who the first righteous soul is, it's trying to tell me where.
We'll keep working on it.
But do you mind if I sit out here for a moment until I settle into an in-between place? Sure.
I'm gonna ride this high all the way to the pantry, see if there's any new cereal.
[LAUGHS.]
Reese.
What's wrong? Kevin.
You need to go upstairs, pack your bags, and get out.