Kill la Kill (2013) s01e01 Episode Script

If Only I Had Thorns Like a Thistle...

1 In 1933, the National Socialist German Workers' Party came to power.
Honnouji Academy SECOND YEAR CLASS K This was the birth of Chancellor Hitler.
Eventually, Germany's postwar democracy gave rise to Fascism.
Excuse me, we're in the middle of a lesson.
I'm on official business! Y-Yes, sir! I'm Ira Gamagoori, Disciplinary Committee Chair! DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE CHAIR IRA GAMAGOORI Students of Second Year Class K! We have determined that there is someone who intends harm against Honnouji Academy among you! Explanations will fall on deaf ears! This person will be punished immediately! You seriously think that a tear gas bomb will help you escape?! Damn it! ONE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM So, it really was you who stole that One-Star Goku Uniform.
What's the matter? Try it on! Amazing! It's as if power is flooding into both my body and spirit! T-This light, it's– M-My body is moving incredibly fast! Of course! That is the power of the Goku Uniform! All right, then! Eat this! My uniform, however is a Three-Star! An attack from a mere One-Star won't do a thing to me! What were you planning, sneaking out a Goku Uniform?! You must be a spy from around Kobe! But it's wasted on the likes of you! You aren't cut out for a Goku Uniform.
Take it off! Listen up, students of Honnouji Academy! As long as Ira Gamagoori draws breath, this academy's rules will stand firm! The ironclad rules created by Student Council President Satsuki Kiryuin! Lady Satsuki Students! STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDEN All salute Student Council President Satsuki Kiryuin! SATSUKI KIRYUIN Fear is freedom! Subjugation is liberation! Contradiction is truth! These are the truths of this world! Surrender to those truths, you pigs in human clothing! THE NEXT DAY HONNOUJI ACADEMY TRANSFER STUDEN RYUKO MATOI So this is it Honnouji Academy! EPISODE 1 IF ONLY I HAD THORNS LIKE A THISTLE Oops, sorry! Piece of cake! I could've sworn I grabbed her wallet! You're a precocious kid, stealing a lemon someone else had just started eating.
You're that eager to learn what first love tastes like? Bitch, don't try to be all witty! I've had my first kiss! Then there truly is no such thing as regret in this world anymore.
That's my line, sister.
Come on out, guys! You've insulted the great Lightning Speed Mataro.
This neighborhood is my turf! Honnou Town Blind Alley.
It's a dead end for lives and a feared hangout for drifters.
If you want to get home in one piece, leave your wallet and go.
Come on, what's with the anachronistic street punk routine? I thought this town was strange, but I see the people who live here are nuts, too.
All right, then.
It's my policy to see it through when someone picks a fight.
Come at me.
Get her! Please excuse us! What the hell? We're really weak against stronger people! That's our own strong suit.
I guess I can't beat up people who are bowing and scraping.
I'll let it slide just this once.
Hey! Out shaking people down at the crack of dawn again, I see! Oh no! It's my big sister! You can't get away! How many times do I have to tell you to stop mugging people and get your butt to school?! I'm sorry! I'm going, I'm going, I'm going! Dumbass, I ain't got time for no compulsory education! No way, bitch! That little jerk! Oh, I'm sorry! Are you– Oh, no! I'm late, I'm late! Let me on, please let me on! Let me on, please let me on! I'm on, I got on! What is the deal with the people in this city? Honnouji Academy "This is a naked pig who dared to defy Honnouji Academy.
" "As such, justice was dealt," eh? The city's dangerous, but this school is just as bad, I see.
Something tells me I'll find some leads here.
This is Ryuko Matoi, who has transferred into Second Year Class K today.
RYUKO MATOI Ryuko-chan! Ryuko-chan! Over here, over here! This desk is free! Oh.
Suzuki used to sit here, but he was You know each other? killed by the student council yesterday, so it's open now! I wouldn't say that we're acquaintances exactly Well, that's how Mankanshoku is.
That'll be your seat, then.
I can't believe you're gonna be my desk neighbor! Want it? Don't want it? Want it? Don't want it? I'm Mako Mankanshoku! MAKO MANKANSHOKU Well, I'll be! You're a transfer student, huh? Nice to meet you! That boy you said was killed by the student council, was that him out front? Right, right! That kinda thing happens all the time, so don't worry about it! All right, let's begin the lesson.
With the Nazi rise to power, Germany became— She's already asleep! Ryuko-chan! Aw, why'd you dodge me?! It's normal to dodge something that comes flying at you from out of nowhere, isn't it? I was just giving my bestie a hug! "Bestie"? We're desk neighbors, so let's try to get along, okay? That reminds me, do you play guitar? Play it! Come on, play! I'll sing! I sing a song of skipping town I sing a song of going to ground Calm down! I want to ask you something.
Who's the top dog at this school? Why, that's— Watch out, Ryuko-chan! Bow! Bow! Is he a bigshot? Yeah, he's a Three-Star! Three-Star? Yep.
That's Disciplinary Committee Chair Ira Gamagoori, one of the Four Elites of the Student Council.
Compared to us No-Star commoner students, he's a super-elite who's three whole ranks above us! "No-Star"? Right.
Our school uniforms have amazing powers, ONE-STAR NO-STAR and it's incredible when you wear one.
They give you superhuman power.
They're called Goku Uniforms and they run from One-Star to Three-Star.
THREE-STAR TWO-STAR ONE-STAR NO-STAR Student Council President Satsuki Kiryuin bestows Goku Uniforms based on a student's abilities.
STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDEN Long story short, they're awesome! Got all that? So in other words, the top dog here is that student council president? Right, right! Ah, speak of the devil! That's Lady Satsuki there! SATSUKI KIRYUIN So, I hear you're the queen bee in this school.
I have a question for you.
Bitch! How dare you? A huge— - scissors? - Half a scissors? It's a huge scissor! That's right.
This is half of a giant pair of scissors.
I'm looking for the owner of the other half.
Prez, I noticed that you were shocked to see this just now.
You've seen it before, haven't you? You've seen my Scissor Blade! And what if I have? The way she said that You're the Woman with the Scissor Blade, aren't you?! TEK Tek! Ken! Fun! Sai! KEN FUN SAI Fukuroda, eh? Yes, ma'am.
Boxing Club Captain Takaharu Fukuroda.
TAKAHARU FUKURODA Permit me to finish off this insolent wench! She is yours.
Stand aside, you bastards! That glove is made of iron? Don't you even know your uniforms? You're not even wearing a uniform! To boxers, these gloves and trunks are our uniform! As well as the athleticism-augmenting ATHLETICISM-AUGMENTING TWO-STAR GOKU UNIFORM Two-Star Goku Uniform given to me by Lady Satsuki! Imbue even ordinary gloves with the power of a Goku Uniform, and they will possess the strength of steel! I don't really follow you, but if they're made of iron, I guess I don't need to pull my own punches.
Pull your punches?! Don't you dare slight me! Left jab that rules the world! And a left hook! And then a right upper! I thought you might prove slightly amusing, but you're just a fool who has no idea how to wield that scissor properly.
How dull.
Not so fast! You do know something, don't you?! Mind your tongue! You're nowhere near worthy of addressing Lady Satsuki directly! Confiscate that scissor.
Yes, ma'am! No! This is the one thing I'll never hand over! Never! You think a telegraphed attack like that will land? Don't underestimate a boxer! Perfect! Ryuko-chan! You're leaving already? Sorry, but I need to borrow your bike! Jerk! What about my deliveries?! Damn it That girl knows how to beat a hasty retreat.
You! Stupid fool! I have no excuses to offer.
Not only did you allow that transfer student who mocked Lady Satsuki to escape, you failed to confiscate that scissor as ordered! DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE CHAIR IRO GAMAGOORI Mistakes made by the club you run are your mistakes, Sanageyama! That's why I'm disciplining him! If so, your Disciplinary Committee's mistake in allowing Lady Satsuki to be mocked is yours then, Gamagoori.
ATHLETIC COMMITTEE CHAIR UZU SANAGEYAMA I've turned up some intel on her.
She's been starting quarrels in the eastern Kanto region INFORMATION AND STRATEGY COMMITTEE CHAIR HOUKA INUMUTA at high schools subjugated by the Honnouji Academy.
Apparently, these battles were on an individual level, so they never sent word.
Such negligence Inform all branch high school principals to remain on guard.
My apologies.
Oh, dear.
The toad, the monkey, and the dog have all screwed up.
NON-ATHLETIC COMMITTEE CHAIR NONON JAKUZURE Still, I was shocked to see that that scissor could cut a Goku Uniform.
How can this be, Lady Satsuki? It's a special weapon that was developed to combat Goku Uniforms.
What is a transfer student doing with such a thing? Her name is Ryuko Matoi.
Matoi, eh? As I thought ISSHIN & RYUKO MATOI Father I'm sorry, Father.
Just when I had a clue to your killer's identity in reach, I If only I had more power! The rest is up to you Ryuko Matoi.
Ow I had no idea something like this was under the house I reopened that wound from earlier, huh? I'd better look for a way out.
Wait More.
Give me more.
Who's there?! More I need more Give me more More! What? A-A sailor uniform? Wha–? Don't go! Put me on! What are you? A pervert?! Wear me! And feed me blood! I don't want to go back to sleep! The uniform? The sailor uniform is talking? Don't be scared! Put me on instead of being startled! I knew it, the uniform is talking! That isn't important right now.
I'd say it sure is! Since when do uniforms talk?! Quit your quibbling! All right, I'll make you wear me by force! - Stop! - That's better! I'm a perfect fit! Stop it! Transfer student, can you hear me? One hour from now, your best friend's execution will be carried out! As shared responsibility for your crime of treason against Honnouji Academy! If you want to stop it, quit skulking and show yourself! MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR BORROWING WITHOUT PERMISSION The student council are animals, Principal.
Stay out of what doesn't concern you.
The chair of this academy's board of directors is President Kiryuin's mother.
Lady Satsuki is Honnouji Academy's lord and master.
We're all nothing more than her hired underlings.
Using a hostage is a classic strategy.
If I fail again, my Goku Uniform will be confiscated.
Mankanshoku here is the only person the transfer student spoke to.
She's my only chance.
So you're dead set on this.
All right, show me the power of a man's resolve! Mako's in a big pinch! Everyone can see my panties, plain as day! I'm not even wearing my sexy panties today! Bring out the boiler! Look! - A shrimp! - It's a shrimp! - Fried shrimp! - It turned into fried shrimp! Hey, that's oil! If I get that much oil on it, my uniform's gonna go totally see-through! Mako's in a big pinch! This one has resolve, too.
That, or she's an idiot.
Hang in there, Sis— Ryuko-chan! Hold on tight! - Ow! - That's hot! So you've come, transfer student! Using a hostage is playing dirty.
I thought you were a boxer.
If you are, then let's settle this one on one! I don't recall recruiting you as a club member, but as you wish! I'm gonna haze you like a newbie! How do you like this? The squared circle is overflowing with my flood of left jabs! And he moves into a right straight! But it's really a corkscrew! Tek! Ken! Fun! Sai! TEK KEN FUN SAI W-W-Wha–?! What sort of outfit is that?! Quit gawking! Y-You're trying to distract me with its sexiness! I'm not wearing this because I want to! How dare you! You're mocking boxing! No, all sports! I am not! All right, then.
In that case, I'll take the liberty of undressing, too.
Hey! Now you're the one who's mocking it! I'll take off the soft gloves that I had been wearing for away bouts.
What?! Behold! These are the real Honnouji Academy Boxing Club HONNOUJI ACADEMY BOXING CLUB ATHLETICISM-AUGEMENTING TWO-STAR GLOVES athleticism-augmenting Two-Star gloves! If I didn't wrap them, students from other schools would be too scared to fight me.
But having them out for all to see like this fills me with even more strength! This is a Goku Uniform! Even someone like me who doesn't know the rules can see that that's illegal.
But still you're on.
I don't know what you had hidden in that cloak you were wearing, but now that you're half-naked, I'm gonna rip what little fabric remains to shreds and send you flying! W-What?! My glove! Your glove isn't the only thing that turns into steel! So does my outfit! Impossible! Impossible! Impossible! Impossible! Impossible! Impossible! I'm not feeling your punches at all.
What?! What's that outfit! She has a Goku Uniform, too?! Oh, wow! I didn't know you also knew how to box, Ryuko-chan! I don't think she does.
This is awesome, lady! Totally awesome! The view is awesome! So now it's my turn, right?! Left jab! Right hook! And then an uppercut! And then a right straight to finish you off! FIBER LOS Impossible! A Goku Uniform was defeated? So that's the power of the Scissor Blade, eh? No, there's more to it than that.
Now to finish you off! How dare you?! Enough.
You there.
Where did you get your hands on that outfit? This is a keepsake from my father.
What? And this Scissor Blade was left behind by the person who killed him.
Now you're going to tell me who this Scissor Blade belongs to Satsuki Kiryuin! NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW The next assassin the Student Council sends out STUDENT COUNCIL ASSASSIN is Tennis Club Captain, Omiko Hakodate.
TENNIS CLUB CAPTAIN, OMIKO HAKODATE TENNIS CLUB CAPTAIN, OMIKO HAKODATE Even with my powers it will be difficult to save DIFFICULT TO SAVE Ryuko from the pinch she's in.
PINCH Next time on KILL la KILL, "So sexy, I'm going to faint.