Killing Eve (2018) s04e02 Episode Script

Don't Get Eaten

How did you find me? - Arrgh! - What is she like, Helene? Why not just ask Villanelle? Do you believe in God? I have faith I'm not as shitty inside as some people think I am.
- I'm trying to show you I've changed.
- Maybe I've changed.
- Have you thought of that? - Just dunk me! That's the funeral home Rhian Bevan's body was taken to.
Do you know Helene? Someone has been hunting down and killing members of The Twelve.
That means they know a damn sight more than we do.
Stop meddling.
You'll be arrested and put in prison for a long, long, long time.
- Vlad.
- Hello, traitor.
Oh, no, no, no! Oh, I didn't kill you.
Found her.
So, uh, what happens now? I'll lead you to salvation.
Tell us what you know! I've nothing to say! Does anyone here know - - if this man speaks the truth? Come on, fess up! - Shut up! - Ah.
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for visiting the Tower of London.
We do hope you enjoy Have you got the tracker? - Yes.
- Don't lose her.
I guess I've never met a woman in my life who really challenges me.
But maybe you'll be different.
How much longer are we going to be here? I'm sure we'll be moving soon, Barbara.
Okay, question number 45.
On what day did God create creatures that swim in the sea and fly in the sky? Question number 46.
Who killed Sisera by stabbing him in the head with a tent peg? Hoo.
Ouch! Question number 47.
In John 11:35, Jesus wept.
Why did he weep? Clue: it's not because his coach broke down on the M4.
I have something I'd like to say.
Is it about the quiz or "There shall be more joy in Heaven over one sinner that repents than over 99 righteous persons that need no repentance.
" Luke, chapter 15.
Thank you, Nelle.
Okay, can you please all pass your sheets to the front? Okay, so to avoid a repeat of last year, I've decided to allocate you your tents.
So if you can please try and stick to your own, Barbara.
Just leave it.
He wants you gone.
He knows something happened between you and the daughter.
He just doesn't know what.
What are you doing here? What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm here to guide you.
Remember? I'm your spiritual guru.
Uh, first piece of advice don't eat the weird camping food.
You want to know why I look and sound like you? Don't deny it.
I can see into your brain.
Everyone experiences me differently.
I appear to some as an angel.
To some, as a voice in the clouds.
To some, as a burning bush.
But for you, I'm you in drag.
- Does that make sense? - Yes.
You and I both know how well you are doing.
Your goodness is really starting to pop.
You just need to convince him of it.
You can't let him stand in the way of your transformation.
- He doesn't believe in me.
- Oh, he's just threatened by you.
Make things right with the daughter and the vicar will follow.
Go on.
Go get 'em, tiger.
Knock, knock.
And behold, the dove returned to Noah with a freshly plucked olive branch in her beak.
You have to use your imagination.
I need to finish unpacking.
Let me help you.
I know you're scared of me.
You tried to kill me.
- Yet you're still alive.
- So you admit it.
That's not the point.
The point is I I I didn't kill you.
What does that matter? You tried to drown me, but it's fine because you didn't finish the job? - It matters, okay? - I don't understand.
I'm a bad person who's trying to be good.
You know when one person thinks you're evil, everyone else starts to think it.
And after a while, you start to believe it yourself.
That's why it matters that you're still alive.
It's working.
I'm getting better.
And it's all thanks to being around people like you.
Uh Pack your bags, baby.
I'm taking you to Paris.
What is this? I know we agreed this would be a casual arrangement, but I'm really starting to feel Whoa! What are you doing? I told you before this even started, no overnight stays, no presents, - no mini breaks, no.
- I'm joking.
Jesus! So the data from the tampon tracker came back.
Helene lives in Champ de Mars.
That's in Paris.
- What didn't you just say that? - Hmm? Give it.
You see? Paris.
I'm thinking we spend a couple of days doing reconnaissance, we can stake out her house, track her movements, get a real sense of how she operates on the ground.
Or I could just knock on the front door.
Or you could just knock on the front door, yeah.
Why didn't I think of that? You know, you really were wasted behind that desk at MI5.
Isn't it time for one of your meal breaks? How do you know she won't just kill you? I mean, The Twelve, they've probably got your mugshot up on the wall, right? "Axe murderer, refuse entry.
" Hey, I'm just trying to inject a little know-how into your revenge.
Well, what if your know-how isn't the only know-how worth knowing? You know what you are? You're like one of those people, they adopt a lion cub and they're like, "Oh, no! We have a connection.
It would never hurt me," and then rips their stupid head off.
I'm not saying that you're stupid, I'm just - Where are you going? - For a second opinion.
Second opinion.
I want to show you something.
Won't your dad be angry? Probably.
Oi! Barbara.
You're going to kill me now? No.
I'm going to save you.
There is something all coiled up in you and it's stopping you from being who you want to be.
There's only one way to uncoil it.
You try now.
Let yourself go! You did it.
She's totally into you again.
What's the matter? Aren't you pleased? Oh, I'm really pleased.
Do you want to spin with me? It's a little juvenile for me Are you kidding? Of course I do.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
This, um This is for meeting me last minute.
Thank you.
I can't take alcohol into a secure unit.
So, what did you want to ask me? I've got five minutes until my cannibal.
How do you get what you want out of them? You you mean my patients? Yeah, but the really dangerous ones.
- Not the one-hit wonders.
- Eve, what I want out of them is to help them.
Come on.
Okay, uh generally, people only talk if they think they're getting something in return.
Work out what they want and then give it to them, or appear to give it to them.
So, if I know the person wants to be challenged, I should just go ahead and challenge her? Just knock on her door, so to speak? A direct approach might work, but I wouldn't recommend it.
If there's a problem, I have a personal alarm and and two nurses and a decade of experience protecting me from them.
Well, maybe I'm more of a them these days than I am a you.
Thanks for your help.
How is Villanelle? Oh! You know, she's a Christian now.
Is that possible? Human beings like to believe in change.
What do you think? I think reinvention is a form of avoidance.
Don't get eaten.
How's the midlife crisis going? Swimmingly.
There will be a proper debrief in due course.
But first, we require a little cooperation.
- I'm sorry for this.
- Don't be.
If I were in your position, I'd be hooking my nipples up to electrodes.
I'd forgotten what an awful flirt you are.
Shall we? She visits a sex club in Swindon once a month.
Very good.
She has a birthmark.
The shape of a donkey on her left buttock.
Indeed, an ass on her ass.
Anything else? She was also addicted to opiates.
And the last one.
This one is a self-serving egotist who thinks solely with his nether regions.
He's prime for a honey-trapping.
That all you want from me? For now.
In that case, I want a new passport, access to whatever files I haven't seen and an office that doesn't smell of dysentery.
We wouldn't even let you into the building, let alone give you an office.
Is that right? You defected, Carolyn.
To help you smoke out The Twelve, Vlad, like you've always wanted.
Like I've always wanted.
But now I want it slightly more because one of them ordered the death of my son.
I hear what you're saying, but Forgive me.
People here don't like rats.
It's for your safety more than anything.
Once this new information comes good, we'll set you up with all the resources you need.
May, a word.
Well, where have you two been? Took Nelle to the clearing.
You missed Capture the Flag.
You've always loved that game.
Yeah, well, people change.
Well, can't you see that's what I'm worried about? I think he's really warming to me.
He's such a hypocrite.
Doesn't want me to be around you, but he's not so different himself.
Me and him? The same? You think you've done some bad stuff, but But what? I shouldn't say.
It's not fair for you to have to keep his secrets.
Jesus would want you to be honest.
He killed my mum.
Uh, say that again? He tells everyone that Mary died in a car crash.
But he leaves out the most important part.
He was the one who was driving.
He was the one who was drunk.
Please, you can't tell anyone.
Of course not.
Am I Hitler? Yes! Who did this? Oh, it's just a game, Nelle.
Oh! Okay.
Well, now it's my turn to write one.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
It's Bible-themed.
So you're going to love it! Yes! Yes, that's what we like.
- Am I a man? - No.
- No.
- Am I alive? No.
Am I a contemporary Jesus? - Yes.
- No.
No, actually.
Oh, did did I say Bible-themed? Yes.
I meant Phil-themed.
Nelle, what are you doing? No, it's okay, May.
It can be about me if that's what Nelle wants.
At least she's taking part.
Uh, okay, Nelle, so, me-themed.
Is it someone I know? No.
Am I my mother? No.
Am I our old cat? Do you want a clue? You were killed unlawfully.
I don't know anyone who was killed unlawfully.
Oh, think a bit harder.
Do you give up? The answer is your dead wife who you killed in a car crash when you were drunk.
Better luck next time.
I'll get the sausages.
That was not what we discussed.
Did you see his face? Don't ever do something without running it past me again or I'll smite you! I can't be mad at you.
You know, if you hadn't called him out, I would've had to.
No, we can't have murderers as vicars.
Uh, you can't? I didn't mean you.
- Oh.
- You're fine.
You're not pretending to be perfect.
Now, you've been naughty, sure.
But he has a really nasty streak.
You know I once took the Devil out of a man in Gerasa? Put him into a herd of pigs.
People loved it.
And guess what.
They're going to love you too.
You saved them from the evil in their midst.
Don't worry, I'm back.
Huh? Uh, what's the matter? Did someone get murdered? Okay.
Uh, you, Malala.
Unpack these.
You, get some more wood for the fire.
You, put some music on.
Huh? This is supposed to be fun.
I knew you was bad inside.
I saw it from the beginning.
Oh, nobody cares what you think, Barbara.
- I do.
- I do too.
Did you not see what happened? I, uh I cast out a demon.
He's not the demon.
- It's you who should go, missy.
- Yes.
Uh wh why Why are you defending the vicar? He he he killed his wife - and then he lied about it.
- Whatever he did, it's in the past.
It's the man he is today we care about.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
What about the woman I am now? Do you know how many times I've won Parishioner of the Week award? - 'Cause you invented it.
- Yeah.
There's a saying in my family.
You can put a wig on shit, but it still stinks of shit.
You said they'd love me! A rat for a rat.
How many toilet breaks do you think you're gonna need? A day? Doing a rota for the stake-out.
How many toilet breaks? - You're loving this, aren't you? - Aren't you? The next train to depart from platform three I might not come out of this.
I'm going to give you four, in case of nervous poos.
When we get there, I wanna have steak.
Steak! I thought you wanted to eat steak.
I did.
- It's overdone.
- Okay, what is going on? On the way here, you were all dragon tattoo and now you're what, you're Eeyore? Can we just get the bill? You are not going to die.
We are not even gonna go near her.
This is just a recce.
- I really know what I'm doing.
- Yusuf, please.
Have you taken the steak knife? - What? No, of course not.
- Show me your bag.
- No.
No - Show me it.
- I'll do it.
- No.
- No.
Stop it.
- Eve.
Eve, show me.
You wanna do it your way? You wanna knock on that door, without knowing what's on the other side, and you think that this is gonna protect you? It has before.
Eve, you want to hunt down The Twelve, you want to kill the top brass.
You want to die while doing it? You have my support 100%.
But this way, you will die before you even get close.
Gotta hold something back for what's to come.
Let's get out of here.
Thanks, I'll get it.
I'll get it.
- I will get it.
- We will split it.
- I bet - It's worse for me.
It probably Now Myra thinks I'm just a terrible cook.
- Oh, yes, I forgot.
- Mmm.
I've brought you a present.
A present.
What have I done to deserve this? It had infiltrated my kitchen cupboard.
A little light intimidation.
You know my people wouldn't be doing their jobs correctly without it.
So, has my information proved useful? Partially.
Please tell me how can someone be partially blackmailed? Well, the child with the floppy hair, he has fallen hard for his honey trap.
What are you keeping from me, Vlad? Don't try and outsmart me.
You haven't got the neurons.
The woman with the ass on her ass.
She was found dead about an hour ago.
She hanged herself.
Fortunately, her children weren't there.
Well - These things happen.
- Mmm.
Drugs ruin lives.
If the waiter comes, I'm going to have the veal.
Excuse me just a moment.
Come to get this? Actually I've come to cook you dinner.
But I'll take it.
What are we having? Shepherd's pie.
Where are your knives? Oh.
You want to know how I knew it was a tracker? I don't use applicator tampons.
Never understood women who can't insert their own fingers into themselves.
Oh! Arrgh! Ooh, let me see.
Ahh! I feel rude you cooking me dinner when I hardly know anything about you.
Tell me about yourself.
I like holidays, dogs, long walks on the beach.
And? And I want to bring down The Twelve.
I want to cut the head off the monster.
That's wonderful.
I like all of those things too.
And guess what.
I also want to get the head of the monster.
- Really? - Amazing, isn't it, when you find someone you can really connect with.
It's so rare.
- But you're one of them.
- So So why would you want to destroy them? Oh.
So this is what you're into.
Torturing your way through The Twelve.
Picking them off one by one.
I don't usually do the torture myself.
This is a special treat.
Does it hurt? Only if I let it.
Don't move.
I've only got lobster tail.
You don't have to do this alone.
Who's at the top? I'll tell you after dessert.
Chloe, this is my new friend, Eve.
Eve is the best bedtime storyteller in the world.
Would you like her to read you a story? Yeah.
- Oh - She won't let you go until you've done it.
She's got her mother's determination.
Oh, come on, don't ruin the moment.
Who's at the top? If you're so up for a challenge, work it out yourself.
You're right.
What is it you want to do exactly? I'll tell you after dessert sometime.
I didn't see what you saw.
I saw something Something good.
Now? Now I don't think anyone could love her.
I think she's the Devil.
Nelle! No! Help! Help me! Help me! No! There, there.
Ooh! Come on.
Don't hate yourself.
You were the perfect little lamb.
A shepherd like me couldn't have Very good.
You really got me.
No-one else could have done it.
I thought I could do it.
Oh, baby.
You didn't stand a chance.
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Oh.
Oh, don't stop now.
Huh? Come on! Finish the job! Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! Three suspected members of The Twelve murdered so far, all of them by sadistic torture.
Keep digging.
Helene is as clueless as we are.
She is torturing each member to get to the next.
- - I killed two people last night after I tried really hard not to.
Women are so much worse than men.
- No-one told me.
- We'll have a bottle.
Is there anything you'd like to tell me? Things are difficult.
You scare off the customers.
I feel like shit.
All of the time.
Chubby bangers! Special treat for Mr.
Big Boss.
I need help.
I've barely had a chance to wash my bits.
- Villanelle's in my room.
- What? I think she's killed again.

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