Kim's Convenience (2016) s03e09 Episode Script

Blabber Talker

Can I get this, Paula? You need to say "please" to you babysitter.
I'm not his babysitter.
I'm his mom.
No.
But, ah, he call you Paula.
- That's my name.
- Ah, okay.
- Okay.
See you.
- Thank you.
[WOMAN] Let's go.
[SCOFFS] Another child ruined.
- Yeah.
Can you believe? - [DOOR CLOSES] It's about respect.
Look at us, you're one of my oldest friends.
I would never dream of calling you anything but Mr.
Kim.
Me, too, Mr.
Mehta.
See? Respect.
Exactly.
"Yobo" sounds informal.
[CHUCKLES] Yobo is not my name.
But I-I've heard Mrs.
Kim holler it from the rafters.
No.
Yobo, it's, uh, kind of my cute love nickname.
Only, ah, Mrs.
Kim call me that.
Of course.
I remember! Appa.
No.
Appa mean "daddy.
" You call me Mr.
Kim out of respect, or because you forget my name? God, this tea is incredible.
I must My name is Sang-Il, my very good friend.
I'm so sorry, Sang-Il.
That's okay, uh Maybe we stick with, ah, Mr.
Kim and Mr.
Mehta.
Out of respect.
You didn't even try.
[SLURPS NOISILY] [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] [APPA] Ha-ha! Mr.
Chin just accept me as a friend on Facebook.
- My first one.
- Uh-huh.
Oh.
I think I make a mistake.
Lots of Mr.
Chin accept me.
Yeah, how I stop this? That's nice.
Ai, what you doing? Just relax.
How can I relax when we have a guest? Mrs.
Ada not guest.
She a cleaner.
[UMMA] You sure you don't need any help in there? No, thank you.
If she make you so uncomfortable, why you tell Mrs.
Lee Mrs.
Ada can clean for us, too? So Mrs.
Ada can have a job.
How can I know having cleaner is so much work? Stop.
Sit.
We are doing good thing for Ada family.
[MRS.
ADA APPROACHES] - [GASPS] Oh.
- [APPA STARTS, SIGHS] And where would you like these? Oh.
That's garbage.
Ai, ai! Not garbage.
What? It's a beach vacation.
No one going on a beach vacation.
Unless somebody doing vacation sneak attack.
[GASPS] Yobo! I find a very good deal on resort in Cuba.
Fancy.
Almost a two-star! Maybe you'll meet Brad Pitt? And all alcohol include, except liquor and wine.
Oh! It's too much.
Everyone deserves to spoil themselves.
That's right, hmm? Well, I better get back to that toilet.
So Umma was surprised.
Did she cry? When she see they have a waffle bar and a mint on pillow, - she do full ugly cry, uh? - [CHUCKLES] Good morning, Janet.
Mr.
Kim.
[JANET] Hi, Mr.
Mehta.
Ah.
What's this? Oh, my business cards.
Just got 'em made.
- What do you think? - Hmm.
What's that font? MarkerFelt? I'm more of a ChalkDuster man, myself.
I tell her, first, you get a business, - and then you get card.
- [MR.
MEHTA] I disagree.
Janet must quickly build her online presence before her profession becomes obsolete.
- Yeah.
I join Facebook.
- Hmm.
Which reminds me, you can just "like" my photos.
- You don't have to write "This you Appa" every time.
- [SIGHS] You know, my son is getting married.
Yeah.
I remember hearing something about that.
Maybe.
Or not.
So much going on.
How would you like to take the engagement photos? I don't think you want that Janet, huh? She take, ah, sad photo of a dirty sewer grate and sneaker hanging from tree.
It's okay, Appa.
Seriously.
I know what's going on.
You two are trying to drive up the price.
Well, it worked.
Three hundred dollars.
I don't think, ah, Janet Four hundred and not a penny more.
- Deal.
- Oh.
I would have gone to 1,000.
[CHUCKLES] Seriously, where are all the people that wash these? We wash them.
After we use them.
Right, right, right.
Hey.
Really bad news, guys.
So, I don't want anyone to get too, you know, but Amanda Brookfield is coming.
Handy's regional manager.
Is this because I broke the printer? And if this is about the mugs, I totally wash them.
[SNORTS, LAUGHS] Oh, my God, your faces.
I'm just yankin' your chain.
It's just a check in.
Amanda wants to see the new branch and her best bud, Sharon.
- Who's Sharon? - I'm Sharon.
Amanda called me it once and it kind of stuck.
Oh, she's the best.
We like the same authors, have the same number of siblings and both say the word "sammich.
" Copy that.
I mean, sure, she's the regional manager, but just don't be all like But just be.
Absolutely.
One cream, two sugar? Ah! Ah-mah-zing.
Pew, pew.
Cuba look so beautiful.
I'm going to try so many new thing, pickleball on beach, mojito, maybe even Cuban cigar.
You not smoke cigar.
Toronto Umma don't smoke cigar, but Cuba Umma is island-time style.
[BOTH LAUGHING] Hope I not make you look too bad, Mr.
Lee.
Ah, not every husband can make their wife dream come true.
[CHUCKLES] Nope.
I'm so jealous.
We never go anywhere exciting.
You deserve vacation, too.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Treat yourself.
Not too expensive.
Yobo! You want to go to Cuba with them? - No, I just meant, uh - Yes.
Yes! [GASPS, EXCLAIMS] [ALL LAUGHING] - [GASPS] Shh, shh.
- Oh.
Hey, guys.
What's up? Just something about Shannon.
Shut up, Stacie! God! No, I can totally joke about the boss now.
I'm one of you guys, the back gang.
Okay.
Omar does a pretty great impression of Shannon.
I gotta see this.
Alright.
"Hey, Jungster.
Can you set aside two Van Meisters for the old conference-ino this weekend.
We are so busy.
" [LAUGHTER] [JUNG] That's pretty good, that's pretty good! You gotta get the hands in there, though, like, ah, [CLEARS THROAT] "Hey, Stace of base! Listen, we are totes backed up from that whole sitchers from earlier.
But if you could just, like, grab me a coffee, that would be a-mah-zing.
" - [LAUGHTER] - Nailed it.
Whatever your name is.
- Yeah.
It was okay.
- Okay.
Check this one out.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'm Peter.
I like setting up digital portals for secure document sharing.
[LAUGHS] Who's Peter? It's this guy I worked with at my old job.
Trust me.
It's bang on.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] [SIGHS] Hey.
Hey.
Just wondering if we could talk about the engagement photos.
Sure.
I'd be happy to discuss things with clients.
Please, step into my office.
You know, I swear I had no idea my dad was going to ask you to do this.
Okay.
If you want, I can just tell him you're sick, or double-booked.
Why? This is just another gig.
Come on, Janet.
You're telling me this won't be a little weird? Maybe for you.
But once I sling the old camera on, I check my emotions at the door.
Uh, not that I have any emotions about this.
But, if I did, they'd be checked.
At the door.
Which they aren't.
Because they don't exist.
- Okay.
- Mm.
- If you're sure.
- Mmm-hmm.
- [DOOR OPENS] - I'll see you at the shoot.
- Hi.
- [RAJ] Hey.
- Are you kidding me? - It's not what you think.
What do we think? What's going on? I'm new here.
Catch me up! That guy, Raj, broke Janet's heart.
Relax! He was here for a job.
I'm taking his photo with Divya.
Pre-wedding.
You're taking his engagement photos? Well, if you want to put a label on it.
[SIGHS] This is worse than I thought.
I get it.
We've all got our "Raj.
" A guy you know there's no future with, but you just can't resist his sad, puppy dog face.
That's not me and Raj.
[STAMMERS] Yeah, who is that? Oh, nobody babe.
[CHUCKLES] This is work.
That's it.
Okay? Thanks.
Okay, you know, because it sounded like you were talking about someone specific.
[GIGGLES] Boop.
Might be okay.
Mrs.
Lee is good company, and, uh, Mr.
Lee is very quiet.
Don't even know he's there.
He won't be there, because he's not coming.
Tell them resort doesn't allow boring robot man.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, this is our vacation, hmm? Omelette station, seven-person hot tub! Fresh new towel every day.
Just throw on bathroom floor and they pick up.
[MRS.
ADA] Sounds wonderful.
Yeah, but so wasteful, so we use same towel whole trip and make our own omelette.
- You find you sweater? - Yes.
Thank you very much.
- Good night.
- Good night.
I not make my own omelette.
The Civic's ready.
Oh! And I washed the mugs.
Never know when a regional manager might stop by.
So I hear you do a pretty funny impression of me.
Oh! It That's all done out of affection.
Oh, I know.
I love impressions.
Come on, I really want to see it.
Please? Okay.
Uh "Hey, cats.
It's the Shansters.
Pew, pew, pew.
A-mah-zing.
" [LAUGHS] That's funny.
I see where you were going with the hand things.
It makes me want to do you right now.
- What? - I do an impression of you.
Wanna see? Well, I don't really have a thing, so I don't know if there's much to do.
Oh, yeah, you definitely don't have a thing.
"Hey, Kimch.
Just hittin' the gym.
Hard.
Copy that.
Right, right, right.
Body spray.
Go sports! Brutal!" [KIMCHEE LAUGHS] Oh, man! She's got you good.
Oh.
Hi.
I heard you don't want to vacation with us.
What? No.
Ah, we just have, uh Janet, huh? If we not here, she throw big party.
Turn out she have lots of friend.
Can you believe? [CHUCKLES] Oh.
Nothing to do with "Mr.
Boring Robot Man"? No.
I like Mr.
Lee.
- [GASPS] - I mean, uh, who? We is very fun people.
Even more fun on vacation.
Yeah, I know.
I just, uh We thought And Janet Next time you have something to say, say it to our face.
- Mrs.
Lee? - [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] - What happen? - Why you tell Mrs.
Lee I don't want vacation with Mr.
Lee? I never say that.
I tell her we cancel trip because store is slow and we can't afford.
Then how she know I call Mr.
Lee boring robot man? - [APPA STARTS] - I sorted through your expired medicine.
Do you want me to throw them out? Or can anyone take them? That's probably enough, right? Don't be silly, Raj.
Janet needs more shots than this, right? Yup.
I could do this all day, every day.
I love love.
Aww.
So, are you seeing anyone? Not one guy.
More like lots of guys.
Every day is a new adventure.
- Really? - [JANET] Totally.
I mean, it's great you two are lockin' it down.
But I'm having too much fun to commit to one person.
Forevah.
Okay.
I think we're done.
Wait, no, guys! We forgot the bling pic.
Can't we skip that one, Div? It's cheesy.
It's romantic.
Yeah.
Very Pinterest.
You should go for it.
Okay.
Go this way.
Like this, right? Move a little so we can see Raj.
Like this? No, that's too much.
Okay.
You just want to stand like this Oh, my gosh, that's perfect! Thank you, Janet.
[JANET] Yeah.
It wasn't even anything like me.
Like, I'm the only person that ever leans against things? Imitation's a form of flattery, all right? When we do an impression of you, - it's like we're giving you a big hug.
- Wait.
- You do them, too? - Hmm? Well, go ahead.
Let's see it.
Show me.
Okay.
This one's a classic.
- What? - '90s heartthrob poses.
Right, right, right.
We're doing Jung? No, 'cause you guys don't look or sound anything like me.
- Copy that - Oh, very funny.
Look, you're a good guy.
Having a sense of humour about it shows you're an even better guy.
- Be that guy.
- [SIGHS] Right, right, right.
Now you're doing you.
It's pretty good actually.
I still can't believe Mrs.
Ada gossip behind our back.
This is why I'll never hire a maid.
The scandal is unavoidable.
Well, at least now we can go on a perfect vacation without "dead plant," Mr.
Lee.
Oh! Mr.
Lee is the worst.
Always comes in the restaurant.
No matter where he is in his meal, he always needs a toothpick.
- [APPA] Hmm.
- It's revolting.
Now we have to be careful around Mrs.
Ada "blabber talker.
" We don't know for sure it's her.
But we could know.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Next time she is around, we talk about something, and if it go back to Mrs.
Lee, then we know Mrs.
Ada is a blabber talker.
That is so sneaky.
I love you so much right now.
[MR.
CHIN] Save it for Cuba, you two.
By the way, Mrs.
Kim, you still haven't accepted my Facebook friend request.
I know.
[JANET] We're almost done.
Want to take a picture of me running away? Mm.
If that's what you want.
I miss you.
I think your fiancee misses you.
[DIVYA] Hey, hey, guys, these fish don't bite, do they? Becau Oh! Yup.
They're biting me.
[LAUGHS] I'll be right there.
Seriously.
I can't stop thinking about you.
Well, you were able to stop thinking about me long enough to get engaged to Divya.
Come on! You, of all people, know the pressure to make our parents happy.
- Yeah.
But - Back there, when I was posing with you, that's the only part of this day that's felt right.
Didn't you feel it, too? [DIVYA] Guys, I'm getting cold feet.
What? Yeah.
This water is freezing.
Oh, is that seaweed? Oh, nope.
Yep, it's biting me, too.
[SIGHS] I feel like we've been doing this for hours.
We have.
And your hair's paying for it.
[SIGHS] Ah! Nice try.
[SHANNON] Here's the garage.
We clean the cars back here.
But you probably knew that.
- And this is our back manager, Terence.
- Hi.
And our former assistant manager, now valued back gang member, Jung.
Hi.
It's a pleasure.
It's nice to meet you both.
I've heard a lot about you.
Oh.
All good things, I hope.
[CHUCKLES] Nothing but.
And we're happy to have you back in the Handy team.
And I'm glad that you guys brought Amanda up to speed on everything.
It's kind of our job.
Such a fun group here.
Great morale.
Yeah, no doubt.
But, uh, goes both ways.
Right.
Right Oh, here we go.
Hi, I'm Amanda! This is my work BFF Sharon, whose real name is Shannon.
Want a sammich? That's about all I can remember.
Oh! And you walk like this.
Good morale! Good morale! [JUNG CHUCKLES] I don't get it.
- Yeah, you do.
- No, I don't.
Let's go back to my office.
Hey, fun prank, guys.
[CHUCKLES] [AMANDA] So, it's Shannon? [SHANNON] Sometimes.
It's not a hard-and-fast rule.
- Wow.
- What? What's that you say, Yobo? You feeling sick? Yeah.
I think we may have to cancel Cuba trip.
- [VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING] - [APPA EXCLAIMS] Okay, I handle.
It's so sad.
- [TURNS OFF VACUUM CLEANER] - What? Uh, I just say, it's so sad about Mrs.
Kim and her heart condition.
Oh, no.
[MOANING AWKWARDLY] That's terrible.
So, anyway, we have to cancel big trip because of, uh, her very serious heart condition.
I am so sorry to hear that.
Good.
Okay.
See you.
[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING] Now, that's gorgeous.
Yeah.
The light was amazing.
Oh, he was right about this photo.
It's cheesy.
I mean the pose, not the picture.
I don't know.
It's sort of sweet.
Maybe I'm overwhelmed, but do you think that we're rushing into this? Um Like, when I think about the big picture, what's it going to look like? Well, I guess, maybe, if you are having doubts then Did Raj say anything to you about what he wants? I think you guys should figure out what you want together.
Yeah.
The one on the log.
I mean, I look better in this one, but Raj looks great here.
Oh.
You're talking about the actual picture.
Yeah.
We don't just want digitals.
We want to blow one up for our living room.
Right.
That sounds nice.
[SQUEALS] I'm so excited! Thank you, Janet.
You are so talented.
Hey, guys.
Listen, I'm really sorry about Everything's fine.
Amanda was pretty cool about it, and, on the plus side, at least she's calling me Shannon now.
Well, that's good.
And, listen, I know I overreacted, but I'm over it now.
I mean it.
I can handle it.
Okay, who's this? "I just got promoted to assistant manager and I'm insecure about my job, so I take it out on Terence.
" Not cool, man.
Lighten up, man.
It's just fun.
Okay, one more.
"Oh, hey! I'm Shannon.
I'm super-friendly and chatty, and the best boss ever.
" Aww, that's sweet.
"Kitty-cat, kitty-cat, I'm dating Alejandro, but, ooh, is that Jung? Flirt, flirt, flirt.
" [CHUCKLES] Okay, we're shutting this down.
[MRS.
LEE] I heard about your heart condition.
I'm so sorry.
I had no idea! Here.
My umma's special root tea.
It taste terrible, but it work.
[SOBS SOFTLY] Oh, oh.
Mrs.
Lee.
I Mrs.
Kim is healthy, 100%.
Such a positive spirit.
No, no.
I was never sick.
- But I hear - It's a fake story that we tell Mrs.
Ada.
Why you do that to such nice person? Ah, she's not a nice person.
She take a private conversation and blabber talking to you.
I didn't hear from Mrs.
Ada.
I hear from Mrs.
Ko.
But who tell Mrs.
Ko? Blabber-talking Ada.
Oh, no, I do.
I need excuse to get out of brunch with Mrs.
Ko.
But still, she hurt you feeling by saying we think you husband is a boring robot man.
I didn't hear that from Mrs.
Ada.
You post on Facebook.
- What? - [MRS.
LEE] There.
Oh.
That's a private message to Mr.
Chin! It's on you wall.
Same as you post about telling Mrs.
Kim you helping Mr.
Chin, when really you go golfing.
What? Uh, point is everybody stretch truth, huh? So, everybody should forgive.
[APPA] Yeah.
Would you and Mr.
Lee like to join us in Cuba? Thank you.
But we book our own vacation.
Mr.
Lee always want to see Sarnia, Ontario's Chemical Valley.
[MRS.
ADA] Sounds wonderful.
[APPA CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Hello.
Oh.
I thought you were going to be in Cuba.
But they oversell flight.
- So we get bump.
- Mm.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
[APPA] Mm.
Why? They give us a voucher for anything we want at the airport restaurant.
[UMMA] So, then we wait for next flight, but again they oversell.
So, this time, we volunteer to get bump.
But then they cancel, and they give us cash money and half-price discount at Holiday Inn near airport.
Sounds wonderful.
Oh, by the way, I can't work next week.
- Everything okay? - Yes.
The Lee's are taking us to Sarnia.
So generous.
We are going on a ice cream and chip-truck tour.
Oh.
I like a chip truck.
I like ice-cream.
Sound wonderful.
And so does your trip, hmm? To the airport.
[CHUCKLES] [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]