Kim's Convenience (2016) s03e10 Episode Script

Elephant in the Room

- What's that? - Bullhorn.
From garage sale.
- Why? - Because of five dollar.
How you work in a store and not to know good deal? Whatever.
[APPA ON BULLHORN] Janet, cleanup in isle two.
Janet, cleanup in isle two.
Okay, that's not going to be a thing.
- [DOOR BELL CHIMING] - Oh, sorry.
Didn't think you could hear me.
Attention customer.
Welcome to store.
[HUMMING] Best to ignore him.
Janet Kim to front counter at 10-4 over, out.
I'm not coming over there.
When Janet was four-years-old, she says she want to marry her daddy.
I never said that.
She also fall in love with Shaggy from Scooby Doo.
Like a weird kind of obsessive love.
What do you want? See? Now you understand the power of bullhorn.
Have to respect the bull, otherwise you get the horn.
[CHUCKLES] [GASPS] Oh, hello, Yobo.
You enjoy your nap? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] [STAMMERS] Can I get back after lunch? Let's take that as a no.
You, no.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING] Have you seen Kimchee? I need to discuss the number of exclamation marks in his email.
It's weird, he doesn't put any.
He's over there, talking to the "courier.
" I thought she was the courier.
She is.
I just mean, because he "likes her.
" Doesn't he like her? Yeah, I'm gonna stop using quotes now.
Do you think he's gonna ask her out? I don't know.
I keep my nose out of this stuff.
Yeah, you can't meddle.
Our neighbour, Bette, was a meddler, always meddling.
We used to call her, "Bette, the busy body.
" Not Bette Meddler? Oh, my God, that's so good.
[CHUCKLES] I have to send out an email tonight.
Well, better leave these two to it.
Oh, deffers.
[GWEN] I should probably go [KIMCHEE] Yeah, my break starts soon.
Don't wanna miss that.
See you next week? Same time, same shirts? Sure.
Hi, Kimchee.
Another special delivery? Just some cleaning supplies.
Nothing crazy.
Uh, except the crazy cute chemistry you have with that courier.
Yeah, Gwen's cool.
And not a Handy employee which means full steam ahead on asking her out.
Yeah, I'm working on it.
I got a 30-step plan and I'm on step 28.
Get her to laugh so hard, she snorts.
30 steps? That's basically a marathon.
Just ask her out.
I'm taking it slow.
Getting to know her, letting her get to know me.
I recognize the vibe she's putting out.
It's a vibe that says, "I like you, Kimchee.
" I've been known to put out that vibe myself.
Not an, "I like you, Kimchee" vibe, just an, "I like you" vibe and, never to "You.
" And I appreciate your input, but, I'm kinda doing this my way.
Just don't wait too long or you might miss your chance.
Thanks for the tip.
Also, make sure you listen as much as you talk.
And don't wear a wrist watch, makes you seem anal.
Maybe you just send me an email.
Oh, sorry, I am being such a Bette Meddler.
Hey, did you move any boxes of things from my bedroom? - Thing? - Yeah, my baby teeth.
Macaroni pony.
[STAMMERS] My autographed Lion King program.
Janet, I signed those autograph.
Yeah, I know.
So, where is it? I sell all that stuff at the church bazaar.
It looked like box of garbage.
I tell you so many time to take.
- When did you tell me? - Lots of time.
Was I here when you told me? Here, not here, who know.
And we need space.
- For what? - [UMMA] Oh.
I get new home brew kit.
Make beer.
At home.
Save the money.
Drink beer? So those tubs of sludge in my closet are beer? Yeah, it's my new Appa Hopper.
First batch, uh, too much hopper.
My childhood was in those boxes.
Well, you should keep it in your own apartment.
If you needed more room, you should have got rid of That gold elephant or that cabinet or the stupid silverware in it.
Janet, that's all valuable thing.
My stuff was valuable too.
Well, money from church bazaar say something different.
It was valuable to me.
Time to let go of past, Janet.
Or keep it where you is living.
[GROANS] [SIGHS] All you do is stand there and wipe your hands with the rag.
It looks like you're doing something.
And Terence will leave me alone? Yep.
[GWEN LAUGHING] [GWEN] No way, we have to go.
[GWEN] Are you free sometime this weekend? What about Saturday night? Uh, yeah, that works.
Seven-ish? [TERENCE] Yeah, I don't like when time gets too specific.
Before 7:15, right? Sure, I'll see you then.
- Ish.
- Can't wait.
Keep up the good work, Omar.
[CAR ENGINE STARTS] Shannon, there's a problem.
[WHISPERS] I'm on the phone.
Terence asked out Gwen.
- Tell me everything.
- I don't know.
Terence was all like, "Hey, Saturday night?" And she's like, [GIGGLES] "I'm laughing for some reason.
" And then he's like, "Go out with me on Saturday.
" - And she agreed.
- What a snake.
I mean, he's my employee and I don't like to play favorites but he's completely a snake.
You should tell her that.
Maybe make up some other stuff too.
But, maybe instead of telling her everything, you don't say anything.
How is not trash talking Terence a plan? No, because Terence still needs to go on the date.
And again, not playing favorites, but there is no way Terence is any fun at a date.
- She seemed to like him.
- Kimchee, it's Terence.
He's gonna talk about his ear aches, send back his drinks for being too cold.
Use too many napkins, call the bathroom the loo.
Plus, Saturday is the worst date night.
Mmm, I think you're making that up.
It's crowded, high expectations, so much noise.
Trust me, this will be Terence's last date with Gwen.
And once the stink of dating men from Handy fades away, you ask her out.
But not on a Saturday? On a Thursday, if possible.
The perfect date night.
No presh, easy to get reservations.
Some great water cooler buzz on Friday morning.
And if everything goes well, you can transition into a second date on Saturday, the ultimate date night.
So the plan is to wait it out and let Terence fail.
Hundo-percento, you got this.
You're the best.
[TELEPHONE RINGING] Hello? Really? I thought you hung up on me.
[HUMMING] You okay? Yeah.
Take a free licorice.
Already did.
Now, is best not to get too upset with your Umma.
Or you.
It's your beer in my room.
But Umma sell your thing.
- You knew about it.
- But her idea.
Well, I'm fine.
I've let it go.
And hopefully, you and Umma can do the same.
I have nothing to let go.
Appa, where is golden elephant? I don't know.
Maybe you move when you clean? No, it's missing.
That must be upsetting.
Yeah, it's upsetting.
Such a unique experience for you being upset.
That something of yours that you really liked that was in your home where you thought it was safe has been sold.
So, you were just still angry.
You sold golden elephant statue? Yes, Umma, I did.
[GASPS] Just like you sold my stuff, in case you weren't getting it.
You can't sell that.
Oh, is your important stuff important to you? Hal-Abeoji was in that elephant.
Grandpa's ashes? Oh, my God.
Where is he? Umma, I am so sorry.
I didn't know he was in the elephant.
Okay, don't worry.
I'll get him back.
Aboenim's ash really in elephant? No.
But the point is, Janet tried to mess with Umma.
Big mistake.
So, you teach a lesson to Janet.
Not just Janet.
You gonna finish that spring roll? - Yeah, man.
- Well, how about those veggie pecoras? I'm gonna eat my whole lunch.
Get used to it.
So I saw you talking to the courier the other day.
Yeah, gonna ask her out.
Yeah! So you found her favorite dog breeds? That was like four steps ago, bro.
- She likes all the doodles.
- Nice.
Slight hiccup though.
Terence is going out with her this Saturday.
Why is she going out with Terence? I don't know.
Why're there flying squirrels? Universe is a crazy place.
You gotta go out with her first.
Shannon said that I should wait for him to blow it then ask her out.
Don't listen to Shannon.
What does she know about dating? I assume a lot because she's dating someone.
[MIMICS BUZZER] Incorrect.
What else did she say? Stuff about listening and not to wear a wrist watch.
What? Why not? It makes you seem anal and like, you don't have time for the person you're with.
What? That's not No, it doesn't.
Anyway, you gotta strike first.
Once she sees how amazing you are, she'll probably cancel her date with Terence.
Shannon was pretty confident that Terence was gonna be Terence.
That's just it.
He's the kind of guy that women date out of pity.
If Gwen goes out with him first, his weakness will lure her into a, "Let's take on a project" relationship.
I've seen it happen.
I've made it happen.
I've seen you make it happen.
I know a lot more about this than Shannon does.
You know how many first dates I've been on? Mmm-hmm, but how many second dates? You trying to get a second date right now? Worry about that later.
Speaking of, I gotta jet.
Unless you wanna talk about this more? I got time.
I'm not anal.
You're important.
- I'm good.
- Okay.
[DOOR BELL CHIMING] I was too late.
I couldn't get him back.
Yeah, but uh, you tried.
That's uh, most important.
Umma will be okay.
Maybe I should dedicate a park bench to him? Yeah, maybe.
Or, or a monument at the cemetery.
Did he like trees? Janet, you not give away Hal-Abeoji on purpose.
I had no idea he was even in there.
I thought he was buried in Busan, not sitting on a shelf next to a vase of plastic peonies.
Okay, okay.
Hmm? You learned lesson, huh.
Good news.
Golden elephant statue not have Hal-Abeoji ash.
Also, not real gold.
- What? - Yeah.
Just a gold color paint.
Look real.
So, Umma lied to me just so I would feel bad.
Umma teach you very important lesson, just like you teach Umma important lesson when you, uh, sell elephant.
Don't sell other people's things.
Good lesson.
Everyone finish learning now.
End of story.
I mean, I just went through emotional torment all day, but, sure.
- End of story.
- Uh, Janet.
Careful with the bread.
I hope Grandpa's ashes weren't in there.
Ha-ha, just kidding.
End of story.
I'm back.
Hey, great to see you.
You guys are already out of soap.
Yeah, it's a filthy business.
Lots of bird poop.
Especially in the summer.
Pigeons across the city just letting loose on cars.
Bird poop everywhere.
Hey, I saw someone rocking a pair of Air Jordans on my way here.
- Made me think of you.
- Do you want to go out sometime? - I'd like that.
- Preferably before Saturday.
Oh, um Maybe.
Friday's no good.
Indoor soccer, star player.
- No, for Wednesday.
- What about Thursday? - Great day.
- Not for me.
Unless you wanna meet at 7:00 a.
- Seriously? - Why not? - We could do breakfast.
- That's ridiculous.
I love it.
Okay, let's do it.
But no judging if I put syrup on my eggs.
No promises, weirdo.
No, no, no, no.
Breakfast? Breakfast is terrible.
Why? What's wrong with flirting over hash browns? Nothing, if it's late on a Sunday and it's called brunch and it's not your first date.
What time are you meeting her? - 7:00.
- [BOTH GROAN] This is devastating.
- Should I cancel? - No, no, no, no, no.
The only thing worse than being asked out on a 7:00 a.
breakfast date, is having your 7:00 a.
breakfast date cancel on you.
So, what do I do? We can still save this.
You need to be a fun morning person.
Maybe colorful socks.
Women love that.
They're fun.
It's fun.
Be fun.
I disagree.
I'd go sockless.
It says free and ready for anything.
Nobody wants to see bare feet during their first meal of the day.
But I have great looking feet.
Yeah, we're talking about Kimchee.
Socks on.
And be assertive.
Make it seem like a breakfast date is totally normal and she's judgy for thinking it's not.
What if we just get coffee and go for a walk? - Is he even listening? - Trust us.
We're your only hope.
Exclamation mark, exclamation mark.
Okay, what time is it? I have to hop in a call soon.
Oh, I wouldn't know.
I actually got rid of my watch ages ago.
Don't know what time it is.
Don't care.
[KIMCHEE] I think it's around 3:00.
Seriously? [EXHALES DEEPLY] - [MR.
MEHTA] What did you do? - [APPA] Nothing.
Kim and Janet are fighting.
I just get stuck in the middle.
You are in the sweet spot.
Don't taste sweet to me.
When Mrs.
Mehta and Raj are fighting, I can do whatever I want.
No opposition, no nagging.
She's too blinded by her own rage.
Kim too is blind by rage.
[GROWLS] But usually it's directed at you.
- Hmm.
- Now she's focused on Janet.
It's time to indulge.
Get your teeth capped.
Take sailing lesson, buy an ATV.
Why I do that? Driving over logs, fording rivers, The smell of moss in your hair.
- I could go see movie.
- Think bigger.
I always want a reclining chair.
Sit with a home-brew beer, watch a Blue Jay game.
Well, it's a start.
Do we know where they went? Tell me it wasn't Golden Griddle.
Does it even matter? No, a trainwreck's a trainwreck.
I've already set him up some profiles on the best dating sites.
He'll bounce back.
Hey, nice socks.
Oh, you've never seen these? When I wear socks, I want them to be like a supernova or a star exploding.
[GIGGLES] Those are the same thing.
Oh, here he is.
[KIMCHEE] Thanks for dropping me off at work.
Yeah, I wanted to make sure you arrived safely and work off some of those waffles.
I've never want to go to Belgium until this morning.
That was fun.
Maybe next time, we could try lunch? Oh, that might be moving fast.
How about a mid-morning donut? I'm old-fashioned that way.
Solid donut joke.
- [GIGGLES] - I'll call you.
So nice of her to drive you to work, considering Considering how well it went.
Really? We did it.
I did it.
Sure, with a little help from your big old boss and your little old pal.
Well, Kimchee deserves some of the credit for doing what we said.
I didn't do anything you guys said.
Are you nuts? Why not? I didn't need to.
The date was easy because of my system.
Get to know someone over time and if they seem into it, ask them on a date.
[TERENCE LAUGHING] I know, I know, and I ate it all.
[BOTH LAUGHING] She's probably canceling on him.
Yeah, in a friendly arm-touching kind of way.
I'll see you Saturday night.
Don't forget to warm up those lips.
[GWEN] I won't.
Stop slacking, guys.
[LAUGHS] Just having fun.
And it come in green? What you doing? Uh, just think about what Janet is doing.
Make me so angry.
Yeah, I know.
She forget what we do for her.
And in leather or microfiber? Janet.
Where you coming from? Your shift start one hour ago.
Sorry, I haven't been home since yesterday.
But, the important thing is that I have the elephant.
- You have elephant? - Yeah.
Good, you hear, Appa.
Yeah, yeah, good.
The guy at the pawn shop knew the woman who bought it.
He warned me not to try to get it back but I had to try.
Okay, good work.
So, I knocked on the woman's door and she was so mean.
She told me I couldn't have it unless I paid her 3,000 dollars.
So you said no? Are you kidding? I couldn't let a stranger have Hal-Abeoji.
I saw how upset you were when he was gone.
So, I emptied my bank account, and sold my camera, and It doesn't matter how I got the rest.
No, Janet, what you do? It's not important.
The purpose of my body is to serve my parents.
What matters is I have Grandpa's ashes back.
I hope you can forgive me.
[APPA] What about footstool? Come out of chair? How? Oh, like a Jack in box.
Yeah, I can forgive you.
- Oh, I see.
- Thanks, Umma.
Can I see his ashes? I went through so much to bring him back.
- Janet - It would mean so much to me.
Janet, just leave, huh? When you's older.
It's a Korean tradition.
How does the elephant even open? - The tail? The trunk? - It's complicated Show me the ashes, Umma.
Uh, delivery to uh, 252 Why don't you want to show me the ashes? Is it because there aren't any? Appa told me.
[GASPS] I have to go now.
[PHONE BEEPS] - Why you tell her? - Because she's crying.
- You go too far.
- She go too far.
I can't believe you let me think I lost Grandpa's ashes for real.
Okay, so Maybe I lie about ash.
But truth is, elephant is a present my Umma give to me.
It's so stupid present.
I hate this elephant present.
So, we have a big fight about stupid elephant present.
And then she get sick after that.
So fast.
And my last word to her is complaining about stupid elephant present to me.
[UMMA CRYING] [WHISPERS] Is that true? Well, I'm sorry that happened.
And I hope we never have that conversation.
Thank you, Janet.
I accept your apology.
I wasn't Just Don't touch my stuff.
Is that a true story? Yobo? All right, who wants to rent out some cars? Uh-oh, someone had a good weekend.
But don't sweat it.
I'll leave you guys to catch up, if you know what I mean.
I don't.
So, T-bag.
Did you and Gwen hang out over the weekend? Oh, yeah, we did.
- How did you - Scoop her up? Yes.
You know, a lot of people seek me out.
'Cause of my reputation.
Although, Gwen is very special.
She is.
Not the best I've had, but with a little help, she could be.
Whoa, I don't wanna hear that.
She's got fast fingers and a great instrument.
Her mom gave her that.
What are you talking about? Her flute.
I teach her flute.
But, what're you talking about? Oh, my God! Thank you! That is so good to hear.
- Why? Do you play? - No! I just thought you and Gwen were dating.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] Oh, God, no.
That's hilarious that you thought we were still dating.
- "Still"? - Oh, yeah, we used to date.
For like, a year, but it didn't work out.
Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.
I would not shut up.
She hated that.
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Let me know if you ever wanna pick up the flute.
It's just a matter of fingering an embouchure.
Ew, stop making music sound so gross.
[WHISPERS] Did you catch any of that? I think Terence is dating a music teacher.
I can see you guys.
Mind you own business, Terence.
Okay, and open.
Surprise! - [CHUCKLES] - What is It's for me.
And you.
For us.
And why you get new chair for us? It's a "Teaching Janet a lesson" present.
We already have chair.
Yeah, but, can that chair do this? Ah.
Yeah, all chair did that.
I'm not finished yet.
Hand me Appa Hopper.
[EXHALES] Turn on TV.
And uh, you sit there.
[GROANS] Still the same.
Wait for it.
[BUZZER ON TV] Okay, close your eye again.